"I Used to Rob Houses” - Ethan Simmons-Patterson - Stand-Up Featuring
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- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
- Ethan Simmons-Patterson delves into his crime-committing past, ponders what is happening in the woods and explains how millennials were traumatized by the internet.
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“Wow that was a nice open concept kitchen” fucking killed me
This dude is very quick with it, idk if he's practiced this set thousands of times 😂 but he's on point
“Some people pay for food, I cut out the middleman” - is simply brilliant
"I think I'mma stay" and "stop robbing me "😂😂😂
That part 🤣🤣
thats good jokes. dude did a half hour set in 12 minutes
Yeah, you learn to get in and out quick when you rob houses.
That’s a very good one😂
@@guaposneeze NICE! LOL
I came here to say this. His jokes are good but the delivery is off.
And only said 'hell yeah' 548 damn times. Go back to silently robbing houses ffs.
"Hotpockets at Trevor locked in the basement," 😂😂😂😂
This guys material is perfect for skits or a tv show. He’s on fire !
Yeah I can see him in a writers room.
This dude killed it. I was laughing the whole time.
Facts hahahaha
www.youtube.com/@ethansimmons-patterson754
For sure. Had me rolling
Young legend😂😂😂😂😂
Beautiful day for the n word😂😂😂😂
They found all the bones?? 😂😂
Oh word?😂
"well I guess I'll go be a barista" 😂
Wow that is an insane set just rapid fire laughs
I had to stop robbing houses when I seen one of my friends families photos on the fireplace. Well I stopped AFTER that house. 😂
Damn 😂
Was you invited or…
@@clyde._ nah I never been there before it just happened to be a spot I picked
😂😂😂😂 wild , should have left him a note saying “found you” 💀💀💀
@@Morelife876 😂
My new favorite comic! Never seen him before but I was crying the whole time. Almost too quick for the audience to even keep up! This guy has IT.
Same 😂😂
Bro got Mark Normand pace. Doesn't skip a beat, back-to-back on every punch, & don't stop till the set time is up. Insanity honestly.
Similar pacing, but his cadence is so much more playful!
YO this dude was knocking the jokes out. That is a really hard speed. He did that.
The delivery on "but you ended up stealing our hearts" 😂
I could listen to him yap all day 😂
His pacing was perfect. Just kept going i cudnt breathe 😂😂😂
"ya'll found all the bones?" that killed me bruh
Some ppl pay for food , I cut out the middle man 😂😂😂
I hope he gets more sets out there. His material is on point.
I’ve been laughing long after my first watch. I came back to watch again, leave a thumbs up, and comment. Great set! 🤣🤣🤣
Ditto!
Or, ... SAME!
lmfaooo as someone who robbed houses with a bunch of friends growing up, i had the same experience 😂😂😂
"They gotta be dead" for the 2girls1cup girls is too funny!! This guy's hilarious
the Pattersons are killing it in comedy
He's not related to Kam. But o also immediately thought this lol
@jmajic1 what a coinkydink huh?
He says yea just like him lol
This is like if Kevin Holland was in stand up instead of the UFC 😂
Hope he keeps going, looked up all his other material. Relatable as hell, funny as heaven
“Relatable as hell, funny as heaven” 👍 I like that 😁
"all the bones?" made me LOSE IT
"Just throwin hot pockets down the stairs at Trevor." 😂
"What are they tryna communicate to eachother?"🤣
"Stop robbing my house." 💀
Yooooo the internet 😂😂😂😂
Throwing Hot Pockets at Trevor 💀🤣🤣🤣
I Turned Around He Had A Labrador Retriever In His Hands 🤣🤣 💀
Nah the bones jokes really got me dawg. Amazing set man, love the energy
I'm cracking up! I normally don't get excited for new (to me) comedians but he's hilarious.
super talented I'd love to see more.
Stop robbing my fucking house 😂😂😂
LOVE this material! Nobody else home but me, & my cackling may have frightened the neighbors! Not to mention, anyone approaching with a mind to rob my home
“Some people pay for food, I cut out the middleman” spit out my water lmao
THIS BROTHER IS FREAKING FUNNY.
How is the crowd not just rolling around laughing??
Watching this at five in the morning drinking coffee getting ready to go to work and I am fucking laughing my ass off.Watching this at five in the morning drinking coffee getting ready to go to work and I am fucking laughing my ass off
Greatly needed. greatly appreciated.
Straight up funny he killed this had me and my girl crying about the bears
On point with the internet differences 😂
The archaeologist part is killing me 😂
A real pleasure to watch! I hope he goes far looking forward to seeing him again!
$1 for food 😂
Can't wait to see this dude blow up. I was laughing the whole set.
This guys hilarious. I usually get tired of racial humor, but this dude hits it perfect. 👌
That Man’s A Beast ! Punchline after punchline !!
Walking against wind 😂
The first little bit took a sec to hook me... BUT THEN I WAS HOOKED! 😂👏🏾
Fire set. Refreshing to hear rapid fire talent. Keep at it bro
So good to see this funny dude still at it!!!!
Im really impressed that he’s still alive given his past career choices 😂
This guy is actually good . Seems like he got never ending material
11:04 I’m so glad I voided those people like the plague. Thank the gods I never saw it. Also I loved your set. Brilliant.
Rapid fire, this was gooooood! 🙌🏼
bears playing spades is wild
Hey man keep the racism out, a black man is as good as a child squirrels, is as good as a white Christmas
This whole thing is creative 😭😭😭
I wasn't expecting to laugh the entire time, but he killed it! Pleasantly surprised!
Brilliant I will look out for more from this dude
Everything he said was so funny and well delivered, didn’t have boring filler phase at all
loved it. that bear joke was good.!!!
Now you’re stealing our hearts 🤣🤣
This man’s a comedic genius!
I like how quickly he moves between bits and doesnt wait for the audience
This is by far one of the best sets from this generation of comics. This guy is going to be big!
Great set
This guy is one of the funniest human beings I have seen ever. This set is pitch-perfect. He feels like a young Eddie Murphy to me.
Love this guy, gotta add him to my favorite comedians
Ethan is an Amazing comedian
The whole set was God-tier but the 2 Girls 1 Cup mention though 😂🤣😂
Incredible pacing of jokes. Absolutely killer set
Great job Ethan nonstop laughs😂😂😂
He got a laugh out of me. He pushed thr cringe line into relatable. Lol
Y'all found ALL the bones?!? 🤣
This guy has me rolling!!! 😂😂😂
Bars!! I'm a fan.
Great Job! Def need more!
That was a whirlwind of fun!
This dude killed it. Racial jokes without being an asshole. Racial truths in a way that is funny rather than just sad and shitty.
brilliant set 😂😂 rolling from start to finish
Bro.... I want to apologize for that. I didn't mean to call you tha B word. Thanks 😂 for using this in the stand up. 🙏🏼 💯
My girl does deserve it 😂 bro
He was talking about you?😂
@@supadave3210 yes 😂 my rap music 🎶 #johnnyx100 tells the story
Man this was both hilarious and like telling a story.
Hella funny!! I was literally laughing out loud, thanks!!
This guy is super funny and seems hella cool
Looking forward to seeing more of this comedian! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Brilliant stuff
Right off the bat
❤
Definitely needs to write for sitcoms
I need more of this guys jokes 😂
My mans had me weak in the car waiting on this food
This was gold 😂😂😂😂
Great material dudes funny af
Lmao he definitely killed it🤣👍🏾
LOVED HIM!
Genius. Never heard of this guy before, but he’s a master 💪🏽
Bro the thumbnail made me think Chief Keef tried doing stand up
“I don’t rob houses anymore..I live in New York, now I rob studio apartments”
This guy is seriously hilarious
I LOVED THIS!!!
Duuude so effin funny I’d love more of his content 😂😂
He sounds like the bee movie guy 😂😂 had me laughing the whole time!
Seinfeld? 😂😂
Absolutely killed it😂
im sold 🤣