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My Recovery From Programmer Anger
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2024
- I've been working through anger issues after reflecting on the content I've put out there for people in the software industry.
I mostly avoided social media for the past 5-8 years and when I started putting my ideas out there, I bought into the "outrage culture". I also have been on many failed projects. And I've had personal problems with my family and identity.
I made this video to apologize for my anger and how I've come across as "knowing everything" sometimes. I don't think it helps anyone to be another voice in this, and so I'm committing from here on out to be more discerning with how I share my opinions and advice.
When I was 14, I stopped going to church because I wanted to party with my friends. 5 years later I got my girlfriend pregnant and had a really hard time with being a father. I felt too young in public, frustrated with myself and my bad decisions, and so I began to smoke marijuana pretty regularly after work.
After my Dad died from cancer, I didn't understand how to cope with the grief and so I used video games (MMOs at the time), music, and pot to escape from what my life had become. Though from the perspective of people I worked with I was successful, my home life was a mess.
Software developers make a lot of money and even though I had most of my financial and material needs met, I was really empty inside. After suffering from a bout of chronic insomnia two years ago, I began going back to church.
It was really strange and I felt completely out of place. But after I started going to a men's group offered by the church on Fridays, I met several other men who were open about their failures and willing to counsel me where I'd went wrong.
I began praying that God would help me with a lot of things, but 3 in particular kept coming up. First, that I would have the courage to do what's right even when people don't like me. Second, that I would heal from bitterness in my life, and that my heart would soften to let go of anger. And third, that I would have more discernment to make decisions that would be better for my life.
My life has been going much better in all areas other than my career. I've decided to go into management after reflecting on where my passions are with helping companies and people be more healthy about how they develop software.
What this means for the channel is that I'll continue to make content, but I need to do it in a more sustainable way. I need to focus more on my personal responsibilities, and healing from burnout on projects.
I've started writing songs again to try and provide myself with a better creative outlet. It can be really frustrating to work at companies when they put you in a box and don't allow really good work to be done. I was looking for the opportunity for creativity in the wrong place in my life.
Thank you for being so supportive over the past 2 years of me doing this. I just wanted to help people avoid the mistakes I've made, and I never thought there were so many other people out there who needed help too!
0:00 Introduction
00:48 Where Have I Been Lately?
04:16 Origin Of The Channel
11:39 Why I've Been Angry
18:15 Setting Boundaries
20:26 What Went Wrong?
30:20 How I'm Getting Help
35:35 Impact To The Channel
45:38 How Can You Help?
Subscribe for more healthy software development videos!
bit.ly/2I0sXay
Related Videos:
"Are You A Perfectionist Programmer?":
bit.ly/2Im6Ufl
"The De-Corporatization Of Jayme":
bit.ly/2Zf9gU7
"Software Project Stories (Playlist)":
bit.ly/31dH1H9
"Is It Safe To Make Mistakes On Your Software Project?":
bit.ly/2VDX8Kq
"Colin Zera - Sister (Home Acoustic Video)":
bit.ly/2wEipZZ
"My Software Developer Career Journey (Playlist)":
bit.ly/2EYvUIG
"Why Do So Many Programmers Lose Hope?":
bit.ly/31cTWsY
"Can You Be Agile When Your Company Isn't?":
bit.ly/2IrTdvl
"What MEN Need To Know About Software Developer BRO CULTURE!":
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"Why Do Some Programmers Never Agree?":
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Visit me at jaymeedwards.com
Listen as a podcast: bit.ly/2WH4T6H
#programming #anger #recovery
A job coach that I was listening to on UA-cam suggested that a really good interview question for a new employer might be "Who was your best hire and why?". If they say "He was available 24 hours and day and responded to emails within an hour, even on weekends", then you know you don't want to work there.
Brilliant. Gets right to the heart of their primary motivation.
Great advice! Thanks Jeff for sharing this!
This describes my current team since covid hit. There's no longer any boundaries.
that is a great one to remember!
Finally a youtube channel about real software development, instead of "how to get into Google and get rich by listening to an egomaniac with some tecno music in the background" (nothing against tecno, just saying). Those youtubers are the software equivalent of teenage streamers. They hijack the whole thing and turn it into something ridiculous, alienating most sensible people.
I was looking for something like this, and I bet many others are too!
Thank you for your honesty!
@@NomadBlack Most importantly, I have no interest hahaha
Yeah, this is the real shit
I've just graduated from a computer science degree but I'm really quite put off by google and the kinds of people you describe. I like techno music tho. I just want to work on something impactful, but also be humble about it, and work with people who share that view.
(as a Millionaire)
The phrase I've heard and helps me get through approval issues is "Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm." Good luck Jayme, love your videos!
WOW what a great phrase. Thanks for sharing that!
"Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm." GREAT PHRASE.
Adrian Padilla Vega sssdsuddssddux
Every developer has to have aware with:
-Helplessness learned
-Burnout syndrome
-Tutorial hell
-Impostor syndrome
Thank you for your videos!!
I am just recovering about all of this, but YOU was doing your videos in the middle of this hell, with excellent quality, I have 2 words for you:
-Respect
-Thanks
Today a was in a UA-cam Live talking about
-Helplessness learned
-Burnout syndrome
-Tutorial hell
This was like a tribute for you too
Interesting topics. They'll help me pinpoint where exactly I'm troubled
Can you please clarify what you're talking about exactly?
I'm currently ankle deep in tutorial hell. UA-cam algs keep sending me down the "Look at my new tech gear" path, too. It's a circus online. But then a bright shining beacon will peek through and I'm scrambling to stack those resources for myself.
Those are all things that are manageable, but when you're a white guy who isn't treated decent because of his biological sex and skin color, there's nothing you can do about that.
I've been a developer for 43 years and what you were saying in your videos strikes me as very close to the real world and not negative. You must be a programmer and a people person and a problem solver have nerves of Steel and yet egoless I find humor gets me through the day
Great advice. I can definitely be too serious sometimes!
If youtube had more videos like this the world would be a better place.
I definitely agree. This man is a surplus of good advice. These videos are VERY helpful for me.
JOB MARKET: massive lack of developers, biggest tech boom in world history.
COMPANIES: we need developers, but you need to be expert in everything and we will treat you like the lowest life form
DEVELOPERS: thank you company, i'll serve you with extreme overhours, insane deadlines and horrible working conditions
Yeah, totally ridiculous and then sprinkle in wokeness and it's a journey into madness.
Dude, I really can’t believe you make such quality content. THANK YOU. I’m 24 and hearing about the experiences of a man who has had an entire career and lived a life and is able to reflect on it in an honest way is something of which you really can’t measure the value. When you are doing well and feel as though you have things in order, come back, because I know I am not the only one who is impacted by your work.
Thanks for that, it’s the primary reason I make it!
What I like about your videos is the human element. We developers get bombarded by "experts" telling us this is the "right way" of doing things that will change your world with such confidence, even though it changes every 5 years. You're expressing and articulating the frustrations that many developers feel, and you know, sometimes just hearing a voice out there telling you it isnt just you, that really helps to lift ones spirit
Thank you, you’re very kind. I think the experts mean well. But you’re right. I’ve made the same mistakes and probably will again =/. Hopefully less frequently at least ☺️.
Jayme, it must have been very hard for you to make that video, you shared some very personal details of your life and how it affected your career. I'm pretty sure I don't only speak for myself when I say that I really appreciate your candor and bluntness about your tribulations and struggles. Nobody has a perfect existence and everyone would go back and change things if they could, but as Men, learning from our mistakes and acting accordingly to get the outcome that we desire is what we can do (kind of like Coding).Also, people that are professionals tend to let their job define them, that is very dangerous, no job or paycheck in the world is worth your Mental Health! Hope you are better.
Yes, no doubt. The honesty presented here by Jayme really moves the needle on the credibility meter.
Software developers usually don't leave companies. They leave bad managers and toxic organizations who treat people/programmers as *interchangable parts* that you can burn out and then toss in the garbage and then hire "another interchangable part" that we can burnout and dump.
Yep that kind of attitude is the same short-term thinking that leads to managers getting fired. They can keep up the illusion of progress for a while, but eventually the truth has a way of coming back to haunt them.
I am a software development project manager. I began watching your videos because you are REAL. I am NOT a developer, but manage development projects. Appreciate the content. Wishing you well. I get it. We all feel the same. Best of luck to you. Hope that you are able to keep your videos coming, but FAMILY FIRST.
Thanks for the kind encouragement and feedback. I definitely hope these videos help anyone on a project team! Glad you’re getting some things from them.
Yeah I definitely had to refocus on the family but I’ll be back!
I'm honestly surprised you don't have WAY more subscribers. You have really calmed my frustration with the software process with your videos. It is not the best, but I'm not going to be angry about it all.
This type of content will always be very niche. This channel has very useful materials but nobody is specifically searching for it. People have to stumble across this channel by chance. I love this channel though and I too hope it will get more recognition.
UA-cam has unsubscribed me three times from this channel, so there’s that.
@@kirinkappa5662 I searched for it. Actually his channel is quite high up in the listings when you search for "software burnout", and there must be plenty of engineers searching for that. Unless UA-cam knows me too well.
@@kirinkappa5662 Yeaaah...put it this way...it definitely won't pop up in the search algorithms!
What are some things that you need help with to have a healthy software development career? Leave me your thoughts below.
Skip to points:
00:48 Where Have I Been Lately?
04:16 Origin Of The Channel
11:39 Why I've Been Angry
18:15 Setting Boundaries
20:26 What Went Wrong?
30:20 How I'm Getting Help
35:35 Impact To The Channel
45:38 How Can You Help?
I'd like to hear how you reacted when you weren't given something which was promised to you.
@@DanielRPersonal yeah I didn't always deal with this very well. Jealousy, impatience, and being too worried about what other people think can make you do stupid things. But I've handled it better other times too. I'll talk about this more in the future, great question!!
what happened to you.. no any new content is everything ok?
^definitely. I hope all is well with you man! I prayed for you today! Thanks a ton for all that you’ve already done here!
UA-cam algorithm seems to have found your channel. I have been watching your old content and am hoping for more new content. Liked and Subscribed.
Who talks the truth, needs a fast horse. You are such a great person. Keep on rocking this monster called . Love your wisdom
My advice: 1) Remember it's just a job. 2) If you genuinely don't like your job, look elsewhere for a better fit. There are many companies out there that do things slightly differently. Corollary: There is bullshit at every company. What varies is what kind and how much that kind bothers you. 3) Dogmatism is almost never appreciated. Pragmatism rules. 4). Own your mistakes. Good companies and clients will appreciate the honesty.
It's the same job wherever you go within 10%.
Jayme bro, courage is the word. You have been courageous and honest in all these videos. Your views are gold. Your channel is like the "broken coders anonymous" with you leading the way. After watching your channel, I've kicked up focus on ergo, be more healthy, am personally warming up to zen buddhism, and trying to walk a spiritual path. I've been through personal loss too and going through a difficult phase in life too. The path is clear- Be good, treat everybody nice, be a trooper, accept that we are all flawed and take care of yourself. It's very easy to break apart in the 21st century. Lets keep trooping and evolving spiritually!
Hey thanks so much. I’m really glad to hear you’re finding ways to cope after being through personal loss yourself. 👍 I hope we all find better ways to thrive in our lives and this industry!
UA-cam just recommended me to you a few days ago, and your channel has been super helpful! Especially the video you made on estimations which I applied to work this week (scrutinizing requirements) and it helped us to see there were more intricacies than we originally thought, and allowed me to get the feature done really fast. I’m a Christian and I’ve been praying to God to bless me with wisdom in my work, and being lead to these videos definitely expanded my wisdom. I hope you make some more videos soon. God bless you and praying for you and your family!
Thank you Perry I’m so happy you were able to get some help from the things I’ve shared! I don’t credit myself to figuring this out through my own discernment lol - my tendency is to get bitter and vindictive and miss the things God wants me to see.
This is an awesome channel dropping truth bombs. Can’t believe the sub rate is so low.
This channel not just helpful for Programmers but a team of DBAs. I have 30 years in IT and enjoy your content. I hope that I can help others with what I learned here.
i can't stop watching your videos, they are so spot on.... it's glad to know the problems i face aren't unique. thanks for sharing, i recently quit a cushy job that became toxic (no longer express creativity, boxed into bad concepts in pursuit of money, sacrificing long term stability for short term profits) even though i was the dev manager! i was incredibly sour about it, but now i got a fresh perspective and am ready to get back on that horse :)
Hey Jayme, just found out about your videos and been binge watching. Your videos are so relatable. 5 years in as a developer at a big consulting firm and I was ready to quit IT altogether. Your videos give me hope. Just want to say this specific video is GOLD. Thank you for your honesty, courage, and the desire to help others from your own experiences. I wish you the best of health in all areas - physical, mental, spiritual, family relationships, career. We want to see you become well. Take all the time to recover - if it means you are not able to produce as many videos as you like to - then so be it. The air stewards/stewardesses are right - once you put on your own oxygen mask, you'll be able to help others. Rooting for you and your family. Hope your son gets better.
Thanks so much, my wife has told me the analogy about the oxygen mask many times - I should have listened earlier. Appreciate your encouragement more than you can imagine... 🙏
Hi. Why did you want to quit? What exactly made you hate your job? Pls share
@@Unknown-kk6ni - long hours, high turnover, lack of training (not exactly the kind of stuff that can be googled), lack of coding work, not sure what I was doing at my job, didn't know how to manage expectations (self and superiors'), thinking something is really wrong with me all the time :)
@@cookiemonster3699 thanks. As a person in this for many years, do you think transfer to software is rational and logical, or do yiu think its not worth it? Thanks 🐈
@@Unknown-kk6ni do you mean switching career to software development? I think if you are curious about it, you should explore and try it out ;)
Wow. Intimate. If I personally relate, same do many. Sharing what you do, how you do, is true mentorship, valuable wisdom, lessons learned so much more easily than by experience. Priceless. Free. Dude, kudos. Friend, chill. Love better everyday. Yourself first.
Your honesty is quite refreshing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am quite surprised that you don't have a million subscribers by now.
this are insanely high quality content and channel on the software engineering! wish you all the best and thank you for sharing! I just discovered it today and cannot wait watching more of your videos!
Don't worry about negativity. It's part of life. We do not live in all positive all pretend fictional world. I learned from your negativity way more I could learn from all positive videos. Be honest and keep the good work!
Thanks Jacek you’ve been a true friend with your support and honesty as I’ve been doing this. I promise to be honest I just want to be more careful that I don’t speak words that hurt. If you ever sense me B.S.ing please call me out on it!!! 👍❤️🙏
@@HealthyDev We all learned our lessons when we realized that speaking without thinking first is a bad idea. But if after careful thought you still think you have to be unkind in the short term to be kind in the long term, please speak. Many people wonder why the real life is different from the picture painted by those all positive speakers. I often asked myself that question and was worrying if something was wrong with me.
Never have I found a channel where the videos felt so humble and insightful to genuine troubles that the software world doesn’t like to talk about. And this sense of self awareness and reflection shows sincerity, something I don’t see nearly enough. As someone fresh to the corporate world and IT, I want to be that sincere mentor as well. Keep doing what you’re doing, and live the best life you can, man.
Thank you! I hope you’re able to keep peace in the middle of some of the corporate struggles. It’s definitely possible with a better mindset than I had going into it...
Way to go. Your not alone, its tough to be transparent, and share . Thankyou for being truthful, about experiences and pitfalls, and good advice encountered working in this environment.
I'm happy to have found your channel today, I'm a burnt out full stack developer who just clocked 10 years. I quit my job about 3 weeks ago, because I felt overloaded and under appreciated. I relate to so much of your content, especially the political nature of business which has made me jaded as well.
Thanks for sharing your true and genuine experience.
You’re very welcome. Sorry it sounds like you’ve had a difficult time too. I hope it gets better - I’m starting to work through some things that we’re making it worse.
@@HealthyDev
That's a rather Freudian "we're" in your sentence, or so it seems.
Hi, Nathan, why exactly you thought of quiting? Can you please share? I m wondering if I d switch to software development... 🐈
Why don't you guys start a programmer's union.
I've watched like 12 videos thinking that you had to have at least 100k subscribers with how awesome all your stuff is. Literally just looked up to see you have 14k right now. Thanks for all of this dude! This is really helpful for me as a new dev (2 years in)
He's helped me too, 1 week later he's up to 23k subs! Algorithm must be picking this channel up.
@@TravisHi_YT it's now at 50k, with no videos posted since this one!
Wow, this video just touches me at a spiritual level. As a very very junior engineer, I have missed such frank talk with seniors. Thanks for this.
Hope you doing great now. Thank you for all you shared with us. Its a great support to know not being lonely to struggle with all this s... and doing what we love to do at the same time. Best wishes and looking forward to hear some update from you 😉
Your videos are helping me, thanks for sharing your struggles
Especially on projects that are suffering poor leadership or a lack of leadership, start from "what do I want to get out of this project, this week, this day". That empowers me to detach from issues outside of my control/responsibility, and focus on learning a new tool, library, strategy, and gain useful skills for the next project.
Great feedback Lee. I had a colleague share a similar sentiment years ago, but somehow I would forget to stick to it when things got tough. I probably need to start working on this more so I can help people I work with do the same. Thank you for sharing this, it’s a really important thing for people to think about!
I have to respectfully disagree with this approach. I am not going to be "OK" with dysfunctional environments. I don't disagree with trying to be constructive, but I've had a very positive impact by not accepting things that most people do.
I get where you’re coming from and I admire your commitment to excellence. I’m finding myself often in environments that are unable to change to the level I feel they need to and not being in a position to immediately bail (or having committed to a client and wanting to honor the relationship). In these situations I’m stretched to accept more. There’s a fine line (to me). I’m not always on the right side of it, to be sure. Always appreciate your honesty Kelly. 👍
Thanks for sharing your story with everyone Jayme. I hope you're doing well!
Your videos are helping me through the hardest job of my life. your art is living beyond your expectations and connecting with people into the future. Thanks, man!
Hang in there - I hope you come out the other side stronger and wiser, and new doors open you couldn’t have walked through before! 👍
Thank you for your podcast and keep up the good work, mate! I learned a ton from it. I even plan to listen to all of the episodes again.
Hope you get better. Thanks again!
Thanks Dimitar! Hey would you mind telling me what podcast directory (Apple, Spotify, Google, Stitcher etc.) you use to listen?
To solve developer anger, I have started going to gym. This solved 90% emotional problems for me.
I work out with a PT at home. It boosts my happiness levels way more than what I imagined. I can actually code for another round after I workout.
@@bathtub_farter true story!
i use HIIT workouts and running to solve problems without thinking
1. take a complex task, really take it in, dont think too much
2. do a vigorous workout or take a run
3. take notes when you start getting insights
4. you have a solution
5. sit your ass and start typing/clicking/copy/pasting lol
trust the process
I wasn't able to get into working out while I was at school. In my final year of studies, it was so extreme that I spent all my time on school. Now that I've graduated, I have time to workout and it has really changed things. It should be a priority for every programmer.
@@bathtub_farter what is a PT?
@@theunnamed89 personal trainer
Wow this really pulled at my heart strings more than I expected it to. I hope you're enjoying your life right now Jayme.
I'm in my first year of university, all the software related content on youtube can be crappy. I really appreciate your honesty, it gives a more realistic perspective on what things can be like, i hope you can find solace within.
all your videos are awesome! thank you for sharing.
I love the honesty and openness- thank you for sharing and I’m glad you have worked/are working through it. Your videos are awesome and much appreciated 💙
Your videos are a great valuable reference! I really recommend this channel to every developer. Thank you
You are one of the best mentors out there.
Thank you for being so honest with the contents.
I just started listening to your channel. I've gone through maybe 10ish so far. As a new(ish) scrum master I want to protect my team as well as encourage and support them, especially when company bureaucracy tries to get in the way. Therefore your real life examples and pitfalls help me to understand that others are facing the same challenges. I also appreciate your sincerity, especially in this video. Being humble and trying not to let anger take over can be tough, but I am glad you are finding ways to cope. As a fellow Christian, who respects those different then myself, I understood your comments around finding the power of prayer and seeking strengthen from your community. All that to say, I look forward to your future videos regardless of how often you put them out. Good luck on your continued servant leadership path and health.
Hey thanks for the feedback and support. It means a lot!
Really appreciate your honesty and transparency here. I also appreciated your story with the church and how that ended up bringing you back to better health all around.
I'm glad to hear that you are coming through an upturn. I'd love to hear more about how you are doing lately.
Thanks so much for sharing your story of your current situation! I really appreciate your heart with this UA-cam channel and can relate in some ways to what you've been sharing. Keep on the path that leads to life brother. God bless.
Your channel is getting traction. Good job! Excellent channel and much deserved!
Your honesty is captivating
Jayme, thanks so much for sharing. I have shared your videos because your content is truly unique and you aren't just fluffing it up with b-roll and blogging. Please keep putting out videos and content as you can, and remember to really enjoy it. I hope you continue to get good feedback.
I think it would be nice to know how to choose the right specialty without second guessing yourself or making a horrible choice.
When you figure this out would you tell me? Haha just kidding. That’s incredibly difficult. There’s no silver bullet I’ve ever found but there’s some things that have helped me sit with it at least better I could share. Thanks for this great question and feedback. I think it would really help people to discuss this in a future video and/or course! 👍❤️
Tyler hi. Exactly, any advice about how to choose right specialty? I d appreciate that🐈
I will quote Alanis: "You love, you learn, you live, you learn". You make great videos. Thanks for learning and sharing. Keep it up!
I hope you're doing well bro. I'm praying for you. I'm graduating this year have carpal tunnel and forearm issues. Your videos are very helpful to me. It makes me feel like I'm not alone in this. You have a good day sir and thanks a lot for sharing your story
Thank you for your videos. I just found your channel and I was amazed with your openness. I totally agree, we put too many expectations on technology forgetting other values ... maybe dragged by the system. Now the ego looks like it's gonna end us all. And I do not think it is a problem exclusively for those who work developing software. It's hard to imagine a different solution than to stop contributing to this madness. More than a year since your last video, I hope you are well ... I am sure you are. Thanks again.
Just found this channel yesterday, it's super good. I hope you come back man. You are so valuable.
Appreciate the realness. Wish you still made youtube video's. Keep trucking!
I really appreciate this video and your openness. I needed this today.
Glad to hear!
Hi Jayme I'm a software developer from South Africa, I came across your channel thinking about doing something similar to talk about my path and what is helping for me and wanted to say like so many here that you're not alone...
Problems in my relationship with my wife and my career and physical health overlapped and I went down a path that made me very depressed …
I think the biggest part of this is becoming aware of your own problems and being able to work on them. I had back problems from sitting too much and not getting exercise, sounds silly but can bring you down hard, I had problems working in a team and taking responsibility, both in my career and with my wife my perceptions were just getting the best of me and I ended up making myself feel sick and resentful of everything and everyone around me.
I saw a therapist to talk about things I’ve never spoken to anyone else, I saw a physio, fixed my back, continued on with other exercise, set goals for myself outside of my career which motivated me to get more exercise and keep some focus on that goal. I now drink lots of water, get exercise, get sleep, make time for myself and basically treat myself as someone I’m responsible for helping.
Hey there thanks for the support and sharing! Glad as always to hear we’re not alone. It’s so great when I hear developers get to a place where they are protecting their health. Congratulations on making it to the other side!!!
Hang in there man 💪your videos really helped me a lot in losing frustration actually because a lot of the dysfunctional behavior in the companis I work at are cleared up by your explanations and opinions. I feel like a lot of software companies are just running on hot air and we all have a n idea about how we can improve the situation, your opinions are just as valued as mine and it really helps having someone push out content that doesn't cater to the idea that all these companies are perfect and everything they do works, when we all know it doesn't. Hang in there man I'm sure you're doing great, keep it up
Thanks Darkwing appreciate your support. I’ll be back with more videos just reorienting my priorities so I can serve y’all better.
Thanks for sharing your stories!
Always good advice and greatly appreciate talking about your struggles. I have worked in IT programming and systems support for large banks and most people will never understand the high and lows people go through. Many people end up getting a divorce and anyone who can make it through those hard times are so lucky.
God Bless you Jayme. I stumbled upon your channel some how and so glad I did! May God bless you and use you for good. It's great to have someone out there to help programmers deal with the stresses of life and this career. Keep it up!
Thanks Fritz! Nice to meet you. The encouragement means a lot. 👍
I would mostly not listen to similar videos that exceed 10 min, but for most of your videos, I sit through them from beginning to end. Thank you for the wisdom shared.
Thank you very much for preventing me from doing my mistakes by telling about yours
You being yourself while making these videos only makes it more authentic. Keep at it, mate! Greetings from down under.
Thanks! I hope to survive the plane ride someday to visit that area of the world. 👍
@@HealthyDev Let me know when you do, would love to chat over a poison of your choice! :)
@@HealthyDev the offer still stands! hope you're doing well!
I've recently come across your videos... your topics/discussions are real and dead on , I relate to everything you've had to say so far.
This is really good content, I agree wtih alot you say. I hope you keep making videos in the future. It didn't gave me the impression that you were pretending to know everything. "No silver bullet" applies also to software development advice. Been working as a freelance dev for 10 years and I'm about to start a consulting company. So your advice relate resonates. Thanks!
Hi Jayme, thank you for sharing your personal struggles and for all your videos. Good luck on your foray into management. Your channel has really helped me personally to not feel so alone and to validate that some of the problems I'm having are not just me going crazy. It's been so useful to get advice on soft skills, which is hard to find in our industry. I remember a Software Engineering teacher warning our class that SE jobs are not just about writing code, and all of us rolling our eyes. She was right!
Some of the things I struggle with:
- Perfectionism and feeling like I can't make mistakes
- Fitting in socially with my coworkers, especially when management describes the group as "close" or "like family" but I don't feel like I'm close friends with them. Sometimes I feel like I have to do things I don't like or agree with just to fit in socially.
- I definitely suffer from needing approval, and the yearly performance review process always makes me miserable during the months it's going on. What I need help with is how to feel good about things I do that I know are good for the project when no one acknowledges them. I also need help balancing those tasks (e.g. professional engineering practices; helping others) with the flashier individual contributions that seem to get attention on performance reviews.
- Letting go and not obsessing over work; managing stress. I also suffer from insomnia related to stress and anxiety and I know how terrible it is.
- Trusting management
To end this comment on a positive note, in spite of the problems I still love this career. There's nothing like that feeling of flow when you are neck-deep in the code, or that connection you get with another engineer when you both really understand the architecture of a project and you almost can finish each other's thoughts. It's also really satisfying to be on a project where there is enough trust between developers that people can work on stories written or started by someone else and it really feels like people are working towards the team's success rather than their own.
+alabanzai wow, thank you SO much for sharing this!!! You sound very “tuned in” to the bigger dynamics in the industry.
I definitely plan to address several of the challenges you’re describing. You have no idea how much it helps to hear these in context with your story.
I hope others read your comment and can feel calmer about their situations knowing they aren’t alone. 👍🙏❤️
Hi alabanzai, I m same way, perfectionist, social anxiety, anxiety overall lol. :( do you have any social media? I wanted to ask few questions regarding these points. Since I wanted to transfer to software, thanks🐈
@@Unknown-kk6ni I don't really have much social media (other than UA-cam) but feel free to ask. In my personal experience, those issues are quite common so don't limit yourself based on that. Really, there will be anxiety, perfectionism, and stress in any career. You do need to have good coping techniques. Also, if you have gone through the videos on this channel, hopefully you have an idea of the types of stress we deal with. For example, software has different sources of stress than working in a retail store, or mining, or being a school teacher.
Thank you for being truly honest. I know many of your pains.
Hope you get well Jayme. I started watching your videos a few months ago after getting a software engineering job out of college and love your content. I’d never had any experience in the software industry prior to graduating, but your videos have helped immensely in understanding the practices of how it all “works” and have given me a lot of confidence in moving forward in my software engineering career. Much love brother!
Your content is excellent, appreciate your effort a lot!
Thank you so much. Very helpful content!
I know this is specific video is a year old, but I really needed your channel today.
Thanks man! I wish I've known your channel earlier. Stay strong!
Thank you for this video. A lot of it resonates.
Dude, I feel so much empathy for you right now. Thank you so much for sharing, I think it will make a lot of people feel less alone and less embarrassed about their human failings. Keep going!
Thanks for your honesty, great content.
Very useful channel, now I understand why he looked so different to their topics (simply unhealthy). Respect, I am a developer and you help me with your videos to figure out and understand many issues I had and some of them I am just overcoming at this moment (mid of 2020). I hope you are feeling much better, you deserve it!
I’ve gone through many of your videos I really don’t think there is anything for you to apologize for. I’ve gone through many of your videos I really don’t think there is anything for you to apologize for. If anything you’re helping a lot of us who have been feeling the same and validating that we are not the crazy ones.
keep going..your content is #1 for software consulting
Thanks Michael 👍
Love the channel, very relatable.
Hope you keep up the good work here.
Thank you, I hope this stuff keeps helping!
Love your channel. A breath of fresh air!
Seem like a cathartic video. You looked and sounded much better at the end of it. Love your honesty.
Came across your channel yesterday and it looks like many others did too. Up 1k subs in one day almost! I was surprised to realize this is from June of last year and not 2020.
Hope to hear more coming up soon.
Thank you so much for sharing this and your video about losing developer hope. It means a lot! Just subscribed! I feel less lonely with the frustration I have sometimes as a developer.
Thanks Tobias, your words of encouragement help me feel less alone too 🙂
Thanks for the vids, thanks for sharing what you think needs to be shared.
You’re welcome! Thanks for watching. 👍
Thank you so much for being an amazing inspiration to me
Sir. thank you for this, God bless you and your family.
Hope you end up making more videos. Love the content.
Missed your vids. Good to see you back and great vid.
Thanks Evan. 👍
Glad I watched this video. It'll give me another perspective when watching all your past videos (new to the channel). I haven't even started my software dev career yet and find myself getting bitter to the profession, so it's eye-opening to hear someone else's experience.
Welcome to the channel! I appreciate your support. It's been a crazy 5 years for me.
wow am so grateful to meet a fellow christian developer. Thanks for this. I will subsscribe just now.
Great video. A bunch of wisdom.👍
Hey, kudos from Brazil.
I came across one of your videos as I was watching videos about software engineer burnout, anxiety and imposter syndrome. Even though I've been working as a dev for about 1,5 year, I feel I've been struggling a lot with my own expectations of what I should know, what should be my productive levels, and I sometimes shut down due to feeling incapable of meeting those expectations. It's really hard sometimes because I feel I'm not improving and I might get fired from this great startup I'm working in right now. Your message in the imposter syndrome video about being honest to people is one of the most important thing that I have to internalize and apply to all levels of my life, even though it sounds scary to expose myself and my insecurities.
Thanks for telling us your experiences. Having advices from people who are working for a long time in this industry feels almost therapeutical to me. I really hope you're doing better by now and I look forward to watching more of your content!
Thanks Rafael! Hang in there. It sounds like you’re doing pretty well with dealing with your situation the best you can. 👍
Very good videos - it takes greatness to expose your weaknesses - hope you keep going and be a healthy 'anything' - enjoying your channel very much
Humble advice - don't pray for less of the bad but for more of the good to replace it - subconciousnes has no implementation of 'not'
Thanks, good idea on the perspective of prayers. 👍
Thanks 4 sharing this brother! greetings from the Netherlands
Hey there. My son has visited the Netherlands twice he loves it! I’d like to visit someday too if finances allow it :).
Thank you for your honesty and sharing your story. I've been a developer for nearly 30 years and still get angry at things that are outside my control.
No problem, it’s okay I don’t think I’ll ever be calm 100% of the time (lol!!) but I’ve definitely gotten better.
Thanks dude. World is full up on angry developers and I would join them if I didn’t have people like you making these videos.
Thank you for taking the time to make the videos. I have been watching your videos, and I think I am beginning to understand why they have so little views.
The content is great, I think your ideas are spot on, and I can relate to your experiences. What I have realized is that not many developers or managers think like you, (or me). Most developers focus on money, recognition, or climbing the corporate ladder. In my experience, most just do the bare minimum, taking the easy way, trying to avoid the “The only reward for doing good work is the addition of more work.” problem. I have found myself feeling like you when I get stuck in the middle manager position when you are not high enough to make important decisions, but not low enough to avoid the responsibility of fixing the real issues.
It's kind of like the weight loss industry (Choosing weight loss because its something easy to understand and relate). I think everybody it's smart enough to understand that without eating well, avoiding junk food, and doing exercise regularly nothing will work. Yet, we see the majority of people getting hooked into quick diets and get fit products that are almost guaranteed not to work. I think your ideas are not well accepted due to the amount of extra work that it would be required for people that are not really committed to delivering good software.
I might be wrong, maybe its just a youtube algorithm fluke, and the content will become viral in a few months. Anyway wanted to thank you for this great content.
Thanks Alejandro, I’ll keep making these whether they get more views or not because I know they’re helping some people. You are absolutely right many people don’t want the truth or to do the work it takes to be successful ethically and without shortcuts. Then they bitch that the industry is corrupt, not realizing they (and I have been also!) are part of the problem.
Hey, I love the channel, I really enjoy listening to someone who seems to feel quite close to how I'm feeling about it all. The authenticity is refreshing.
I think what you're saying is right and we ought to evolve as an industry to be in touch with ourselves as you are. I notice it's been over a year since you made a video and I'd like to encourage you to make more, if you feel as though you want to. I'd love to hear your progress, be it in a "positive" or "negative" direction. On that note, for the negativity concerns I tend to try and live by the general (paraphrased) mantra of "pessimism of the intellect, optimism of the will" - it's smart to be aware of what's bad, but when it comes to improvement it's best to be optimistic so the outcomes are optimal. There's no shame in your perceived "negativity" I think.
Anyway, thanks again for your videos :)
Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. I will be back this year!