I spent a day with MORTICIANS
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- Опубліковано 19 тра 2024
- I spent a day with Morticians to learn the truth about preparing the deceased and the importance of connecting to mortality. Sponsors ▸This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp - go to betterhelp.com/padilla to get 10% off your first month. ▸ Go to joinhoney.com/padilla
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▸ Creator, Director, Writer, etc. - Anthony Padilla
▸ Executive Producer - Alessandra Catanese
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0:00 INTRODUCTION
4:19 AVERAGE DAY AS A MORTICIAN
7:44 MORTICIAN TOOLS
9:36 TYPES OF EMBALMING
13:08 IMPORTANCE OF EMBALMING
16:34 DEALING WITH THE EMOTIONS
18:22 SPONSOR MESSAGE
20:42 BECOMING A MORTICIAN
25:33 MORTUARY SCHOOL
26:19 SCARED OF DEATH?
28:22 A MORTICIAN'S IMPACT
come back in a couple weeks for *I spent a day with CONTORTIONISTS*
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lit
WHOOOO
Papi
Dad
You should do one on Animal control officers! I feel like with media there’s so many misconceptions about them and they have a very interesting job
Their appearances: 🔪🖤💀🌹🕸
Their personalities: 💖✨ 🌼🤗🌈
thas what goth is
Yep, that is basically me and everyone I've worked with in a nutshell. 🤣
You explained me to a t 😂
As a mortician, this is literally how all of us are like😂
this is so cringe
Victor M. Sweeney is the most mortician name to ever exist. It’s like Tim Burton himself wrote it.
Literally, victor from corpse bride and sweeny todd, that’s the most tim burton name ever
Thats because victor is an actual Tim burton character, but he makes a lot of similar looking characters so its perfect lol
He looks and sounds like a mortician too.
Except Sweeney Todd isn't written by Burton. 😅 Its by Christopher Bond and later adapted by Stephen Sondheim into a musical.
@@ihaveaplan.ijustneedmoney.9777 Who’s Sweeney Todd-
I can’t get over how much Victor Looks like a mortician… from like the 50s. Can someone look like a mortician? Well, Victor does. It’s a vibe and I’m here for it.
He looks, sounds, acts, and EVEN HAS A MORTICIAN NAME-
Victor M. Sweeney, it’s so crazy
I know hes too old for me. And hes married with kids. But he is absolutely adorable, im kinda fangirling about it 😂
@@picachugirl2036 VICTOR FAN CLUBB
That's what I was thinking, like he LOOKS like a mortician, he would even if he wasn't one. The lady doesn't look like one, but it's fascinating that she is one because she doesn't look like one. Ya get me
he’s hot.
I teared up when Breyonce said that she referred to her people as though they were still alive. Something about the idea of, despite death, we still carry the things that make us who we are, is so touching and comforting to me. I lost a very close relative to a long disease not too long ago, and this set something in me at ease. Thank you.
I completely understand and I appreciated that too. When my dad died 5 years ago, the funeral home kept calling him “the body and that made me sick and angry to my core.”
i completely agree. we had to put my dog down today and the vets, as they were picking her up and taking her away, were still cooing at her and telling her she was a good girl. it was the sweetest thing :,)
We do the same thing at my funeral home, too. They’re no longer living, but they’re still people and deserve the same respect ❤
@@tahjricramberan9656I also wanna comment on the difference between people like that and Victor. When talking about the person themselves vs the conditions of their actual bodies. They're more than just bodies and he respects all parts of it.
This is why I have so much respect for morticians like her. Beautiful within the heart is the best part of a person.
My brother passed away by a car accident earlier this year. The mortician tried their best to make him presentable so we could see him, but they ultimately recommended we not see him. It was heartbreaking, but the mortician was so kind and compassionate.
I felt the same about my sister who was in a car accident, it still haunts me. It has only been 7 months so hopefully, the imagine goes away. My heart goes out to you!!
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙏
I lost my cousin in a car crash 2016, my father had to identify her body and still to this day was happy he didn't let anyone else see her beside her parents ofc. I remember being so mad and not understanding cause I was only 13, but now my last memories of her are happy ones and that's what my father wanted. I am sorry for your loss, however definitely think of those memories of him, even the petty fights.
I am so sorry for your loss,i hope they all are in a better place seeing you all do good in ur life
@@Grace-mh6dm I think that’s exactly what the mortician was thinking for us. He didn’t want the last image of my brother to be traumatic. He gave us the option to see him but was very cautionary about his condition. My brother lost control and crashed hard into a lake. He was submerged for several days before somebody found him. Not only was he in bad physical shape, he wasn’t even the same color. Luckily nobody needed to identify the body because he had identification on him. Even knowing what condition he was in is enough to have dark thoughts.
I love how Victor was in so many interviews he's actually beloved
I saw Victor interview on Wired and oh my goodness he is such a delight!
SAMEE
I saw him in the Wired interviews, he's such a gentleman
Right‽ he's a mortician that I actually recognize which is crazy
I saw him on the thumbnail and thought I gotta watch this
The way Victor said “Give me the rest of the day, how did it go?” and leaned forward he is so compassionate and such a great listener! Beyonce is a queen she is so gentle.
❤❤
as soon as i read this victor said that!!
Everything about Victor is professional and likeable, but that moment is where he shows that he's also just really, really good at what he does. He's found his calling for sure.
Breyonce is not someone you would ever take for being a mortician but once she starts speaking of it she sounds like the most gentle mortician honestly.
I liked her cheerful personality. She’s a rockstar
@@HungVu-vs3dvIn my personal experience, people that work in the death industry are usually very hilarious people but also very gentle and empathetic people as well.
@@Mia-vj5lo these interviews really open up my eyes. I respected for all morticians; they did wonderful work. While Hollywood portrayed these people are evil
@@HungVu-vs3dv It's a very necessary industry, it definitely deserves more respect than it gets.
I would trust her with my family. She was wonderful.
I saw Victor's Wired interviews, Mortician Support. He's got quite the sense of humor and humble attitude. He explained his job in a way that is not morbid like you would think.
Exactly!
absolutely, I loved his video and the way he presents himself and his service
Gave you the thousandth like I couldnt let it stay at 999
That's were i know him from too! Those vids were informative but he also had an amazing if dark sense of humor to him
If you like those videos, I HIGHLY recommend you check out Ask A Mortician - Caitlin is phenomenal.
If Victor isn't my mortician I'm not dying. I really like what he said about emotional attachment. "The ones who are detached from the emotional side of it are not good at their job. You have to be connected to humanity to serve humanity." it reminds me of a quote from Law and Order Special Victims Unit "don't worry when you feel something...worry when you stop." Emotions sucks, but they're part of humanity. If you lack that part....it's time to be concerned. And when it comes to fear of death, for me personally, I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of what's after. Like the fear of the unknown. Dying is easy. No need to be scared of that. But what comes next? Hmm.
After is haven or hell
I think the afterlife is whatever you believe/want. I don’t think there’s just “heaven and hell” i believe everyone has a choice of what they want
I am afraid of ceasing to exist but I am not religious. I like to believe in the paranormal and existing as energy but still conscious but also having the choice to reincarnate and try life again OR stay energy in the vase universe/dimension.
Here is how I look at it. Am I currently able to remember or acknowledge my existence before I was born? No.
So, if there is no afterlife/nothing after. I will not be scared, anxious, or worried about not existing because there will be nothing. No thoughts. No Me. Just like it was before I was born. And if there is something after, Fun! We get to experience that. We may not be exactly who we are in this life but our souls/our essence will live on in a different form.
"The law of conservation of energy is a physical law that states energy cannot be created or destroyed but may be changed from one form to another. " We are engery.
That helps me. Hopefully it helps someone else!
@Patrick39 lmfao u just don't give up bro
"Dying is easy" is just wrong and ignorant
I love how the two people Anthony got for the interview are someone who is basically a stereotype of a mortician from a movie (god that jawline and style!) and then someone who I would never expect to be one on the first glance. Really shows the range of people working in this curious profession!
Victor's jawline is making my back arch Fr🤭😩
@@AtrenchcoatfullofWASPS LMAOO
@@roxier.138 Can you blame me though 😭
@@roxier.138 it was purring,my guy
@@AtrenchcoatfullofWASPSWHAAAAAT
When my boyfriend shot himself and died, I was amazed at how well they put his face back together. Thank you for the work you do, you made the last image I had of him not the fragments of his skull and teeth but his original vessel. His soul was gone, but at least I could say good bye to him without being traumatized.
I'm so so sorry that happened to you. Rest in peace to your boyfriend and I hope some day you find peace.
At my embalming clinical this semester I was touched by the sign hanging above the door in the office, "We are doing what others can't, as well as don't want to have to do" I have that morbid curiosity like Breyonce appears to have. I feel that my willingness to see the ugliness that death can have makes me, someone who has no emotionally laden ties to the deceased in that moment, can provide someone who is experiencing grief with a dignifying and restful body image of their loved one. There actually are some embalmers who have chosen to embalm and prepare their own loved ones, but I highly doubt I could do so for my own close loved ones, I'd be too grief-stricken. I also think that it's helped me to slowly come to terms with own mortality. I've decided that making quality memories and finding/maintaining your happiness is most important in life and just holding on to the roller-coaster as it goes along. "Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are too busy in the air...." ❤
@OT7STAN
I can't possibly imagine the pain you must be feeling. I've always told myself that losing a significant other to death would be enough to break me mentally. It gave me some hope to learn that aftercare is a very seldom mentioned aspect of funeral service. Each funeral home differs, but they should offer various services dedicated to checking in on you, providing you with memorial service options for later dates, support groups, reading materials about grief, and contact info for mental health services .
What really set me at ease was that in mental healthcare there is normal grief counseling and then theres grief therapy for those of us experiencing grief thats quite complicated. Reach out to your resources to find yourself that very therapy if you feel the need. Its there for you.
A horrible trauma, but they gave his loved ones a gift by making him whole one last time.
Same here. My boyfriend died last year from suicide, and you couldn't even tell. I was grateful I could say goodbye. I'm so sorry for your loss.
It's fascinating to see their approaches to death and life, from Victor's deep respect for the dead to Breyonce's energy to live every moment.
Thanks for the comments ⭐
Wow 🎀 you have just been selected among the list of my my winners of my giveaway 🎁🎉🏟️
Let's chat on telegram ☝️☝️
I have commented to show my agreement
Breyonce is so sweet. I love how kind she is to the people she works with. It’s so imporant
I thought it was special that she didn’t refer the deceased person to just as “a body”.
@@sophieheid4464 Me 🥺
i wonder if her parents named her beyonce but then she added an R to avoid confusion
@@geko9214 lol no, my name is actually Brianna but my friends started calling me ‘Breyonce’ because I guess I can be described as a diva 🤭
I absolutely loved the guests. Breyonce is awesome, she has such a gentle soul and it shows she cares for her job. Victor is so calming and makes death so natural and not scary. They both make it so vulnerable and humanizing and it's beautiful
the way breyonce highlights still referring to deceased people as ‘miss’ and ‘mister’ made me feel so warm. my grandma just recently passed and i love to imagine the morticians that worked with her still giving her that humility 💖
My grandma had dementia. In her last few years, I couldn't even stand to look at pictures of her. She wasn't her anymore, didn't know who I was, and her whole FACE was different. When I got to see her at the viewing, I was so thankful and overwhelmed, she looked like her again. I got to say my thank yous and goodbyes, knowing she could hear me for the first time in years. So much respect for morticians.
Ya because they shoved chemicals in her and pin there eyelids shut and brutalize there body and in 10 years she will look like grandma jerky instead of just rotting into the earth like we are supposed to
it really is difficult, i lost my grandfather last year and it does get hard looking at pictures, the last time i saw him whilst he was alive he looked too different but the viewing was amazing he looked like himself just a bit off.
People just think of morticians as just people that doll up dead people to look nice but really it’s about making the loved ones look like themselves again so they give a proper goodbye to their family.
I had a similar thing with my grandfather. One of the most difficult things being forgotten by a person that raised you. You have my condolences.
I actually had a kind of opposite experience with my grandma because she was an absolute beauty in life, but her morticians did a terrible job... strangely I think it made it easier to say goodbye because it so clearly was not her anymore. She was shining down on us from somewhere else with her hair and nails done up perfectly 💅
Breyonce deserves more love in the comments! She seems like such a genuine, kind and caring person.
She does! I was thinking this too
Frrr!! What an underhyped queen🥹
I so appreciate the love I am receiving from ppl like yall tho 🥹💕💕💕💕
agreed!! I think it’s because he’s a little more well known but she was great to listen to!
Yes! She’s amazing ❤
I fuckin love these people’s’ personalities. When he said “really? Give me the rest of the day, how did it go” you could tell hes engaged and thinking. Awesome people
Victor is so well spoken and put together! He’s extremely intelligent, but just as humble about it. He seems so wise- like knowledge gained outside of text books or studied in school.
i think everybode noticed that)
Breyonce deserves more love in the comments. Her compassion and gentleness when she speaks about the dead is so appreciated and inspiring!
I'm leaving this interview considering this line of work
shut up
@@KuniKarin01 no u
its not beyonce
@@zlydell3820 breyonce not beyonce
As a fellow funeral director I have to say, Victor is the kind of person we love to see representing our job in a respectful, and professional way. I really appreciate all he is doing and the way he speaks of what we do.
Plus he's keeping that image dapper as fuck. If the person doing my embalming isn't wearing a vest with a gold pocket watch -- is it even worth it?
I second that!
Both of them
And what about Breyonce? This sounds real microagressive because that woman is as classy and PROFESSIONAL as it gets. You're weird as hell for this comment 🤨
@@claudeseymour Just because someone says one person’s name doesn’t mean that they don’t want to call other people out for their good deeds! There’s a lot of comments saying this about Breyonce, but nobody says anything about Victor not being mentioned in those comments. This is internalized sexism, please don’t have that mindset about these people. Everyone is respecting everyone here 🥰❤️
lowkey want both guests in one room so i can listen to them talk to each other about their experiences
OMG YES!
My dad was a mortician and I wanted to do that so bad, but schooling is so difficult to find and afford. He passed away and left me with all his personal stuff, including general notes he took and his mortorary coat. I hold a high level of respect for those in the foeld, because like my dad said: They are helping those who can no longer help themselves.
Breyonce is so so sweet, I love how open she is about all of the emotional aspects. Made me tear up a few times there, just wanna give her a hug 🥺 I really liked watching a longer interview with Victor too
I'm not sure if you've seen but Victor's done a couple other videos! He did a WIRED interview which is why many in the comments say they recognised him. Not necessarily longer but it's still more from him!
@@djbreadx They said that they appreciated having a longer video of him, implying that they've already seen the WIRED one.
The last few days before my grandpa passed, I couldn’t recognize him. He had such a big presence and his disease had him so small and fragile in bed. When we had his funeral, I was in absolute awe of how amazing he looked in the casket. That was my grandpa that I knew and loved and I am forever grateful I got to see him like that at least before we buried him. I’m so thankful to the mortician who worked hard for our family.
Also to add I knew who victor was but I didn’t know Breyonce and she is so pretty and really cool!
glad to hear that you were able to have that closure. i think many people are off-put by the idea of an open casket funeral because humans are naturally disturbed by death. they dont want to acknowledge it in general, let alone when it comes to someone they care about, so they choose to avoid it seeing it. what they dont realize is that being able to see a loved one in that condition, when theyve been all cleaned up and well prepared, has the potential to replace unpleasant near-end-of-life memories of said person slowly fading away (in the case of natural death, like old age or disease) with one peaceful final memory. that way you dont have to feel like youre being haunted by the final image of that loved being that of someone you dont recognize. its like having something reclaimed.
Victor and Breyonce seem like such genuinely wonderful people. It was pleasure learning more about this from them
Victor talking about witnessing his first decedent was so captivating. You can tell the level of respect he carries for these people. It’s beautiful
Three things I feel I need to share without delving too deep:
1) Anthony's curls are looking especially divine, and his chicken in boiling water comment made me laugh
2) Victor is a literal angel and I hope he's doing well, as well as his family
3) Breyonce is Mother Death and I would do anything for her 🖤
💕💕💕💕💕
Breyonce is the most fabulous mortician I’ve ever seen
@@BreyonceVirgo what a beautiful woman, 🤘🏼😏🤘🏼 nice boots by the way!!
@@BreyonceVirgo ahhhh you beautiful soul, I simply adore you 😭❤️
I thought you were gonna say you would die for her, now that would have been ironic 😂
im in love with how victor and Anthony were literally just like having a therapy session for each other, it didn't feel like an interview at all it was more of a casual conversation between friends
Just goes to show how great Anthony is as an interviewer!!
@@Yue_mariin00 frrr
i delt with the death of one of my friends at 14. the way the body was at the funeral was deeply disturbing to me and i still struggle with flashbacks and intrusive thoughts a few years later. i’ve been finding victor calmly talking about this here and in other interviews so helpful to safely think about the upsetting experiences and emotions i carried. if someone who is struggling with similar things reads this, i hope it can help you too. i hope victor knows how many people he is helping just by talking about his job.
fly high z 🕊
This is really interesting! Would you care to explain what it was that upset you? Because it was my impression that a mortician's job kinda also entails that not happening. I mean the way they prepare and "restore" a body for viewing.
@@DaemlichesStueck The thing is, the mortician didn’t do that job. He bore frighteningly little resemblance to how he was when he was alive. Not like he was sleeping, he looked dead. His cause of death also became apparent, it was kept from us as it was unpleasant. I guess it highlights how important their job is.
I'm so sorry you went through that! :'(
Sorry about your friend. That must be so hard.
Do you know Caitlyn Doughty's channel "Ask a Mortician"? She has a lot of different videos around death and grief. Many people have said that her videos have helped them, maybe you would like them, too. (Therapy is also always good but I know it's not always accessible.)
I love how Victor seems exactly like the type of person to be a mortician, but I also love how Breyonce isn’t who you’d typically see in the industry
As someone in mortuary school right now I love to see people sitting down with actual morticians and talking about what actually goes on!
Sounds like a painful career for me. Yikes
Damn that's cool. How long does one need to go to mortuary school? Good luck, mad respect 👍🤠
There’s mortuary school LMAO!? Where !?
i want to be a mortician so damn bad but ill throw up at the sight of a drop of blood
@@gkrees9509 there are tons of them! you need a degree and certification to do this work.
Can you do I spent a day with Veterinarians? I feel like that would be interesting in how they mentally deal with their jobs
I could NEVER be a vet. All those poor babies...
@@frozenferal9992 oh yeah, I wanted to be a vet as a kid and then I found out what they actually do and my plans changed immediately lmao. I thought vets get to pet dogs all day long and just give them pills and occasionally a shot 😆
@@karolejnaa13 Yeah, they really get misunderstood with what they do. Plus, you have to factor in that animals can't talk, so a lot gets missed in translation. Their owners come in knowing NOTHING. Imagine having to explain that the puppy has to get put down when it was acting seemingly mostly fine when they left the house.
There are just so many layers. It's crazy. Saving animals, putting them down, and explaining to the human that can't even interpret for the animal.
My parents are both vets! My dad is a professor now but my mom has her own practice, & it gets pretty heavy sometimes but she’s good at it & enjoys her job for the most part. I’d definitely be interested to see Anthony talk to veterinarians!!
Yeah.. wanted to be a vet until I realized just how many dogs I'd try to help only to be put down... such an unexpectedly sad job after a few minutes of thinking
Breyonce is someone you wouldn't think is a mortician but she's so lovely and lively it really does make you wanna live your life. She's so captivating 😭
I’ve been working at my local funeral home for nearly a year now as the housekeeper. I’ve gotten multiple raises & was offered to go from part-time to full-time. Needless to say, I love my work family & it’s safe to say they love me! I have always wanted to be a Last Responder, but never knew where to start, because I thought it wouldn’t be a practical job for me because I deal with mental illnesses daily and I used to not be able to even get out of bed. However, working around death put some life back into me & my passion to become a mortician had been reignited when my cousin had passed back in October. My coworkers are extremely supportive of me wanting to go to mortuary school & have been teaching me a lot. I’m more comfortable with talking to people now - in fact, I love meeting new people! - and I have more control of my mental health. Now, I just to have to stay focused on not talking myself out of going to mortuary school because backing out of things I desperately want is a toxic trait of mine🥴 I’m just glad I’ve finally figured out what I’m on this earth for at such a young age because I never thought I’d be successful after I dropped out of college a few years ago. I would’ve been a college junior had I stayed, but my heart wasn’t in it. I can tell my heart is in the funeral business because I want to be able to give families a final, beautiful viewing of their loved ones no matter the cause of death.
How are you
They both seem like the most wonderful people
I’m so thankful for morticians.
My sister passed a month ago and I’m still grieving a bit. They tried their best with the makeup, though my sister looked a little bit grey on her cheeks, which didn’t help the overwhelming denial I was experiencing at the time- I kept having thoughts that she wasn’t actually dead- and that there was just a hyper realistic wax figure in her place
I dearly dearly miss her- as her little sister, she was my idol. She was successful, thoroughly beautiful (inside and out), and it was incredibly difficult to accept her death and how she died.
A couple days later I kept thinking about how the morticians will fix her up- make her look like she was just sleeping, gosh.
It feels so unreal…
If there’s an afterlife, I shall reunite with my sister.. one day in the future.
So sorry for your loss...
Sending you healing energy. I’m so very sorry for your loss, i know that there are no words to mend what you are feeling, but know that you will always be carrying your sisters energy with you wherever you go in life, she will be a guide for you & one day you will meet her again❤️
@@nicemmmm Thank you for the kind words, I’ll take them to heart.
This Christmas, I feel like she’ll be there with us when we open up presents :)
You Sound Like a lovely little sister, i Bet she ist proud of you!
Im sorry for your loss.
I Wish for you that your time To heal Is gonna get the Support and Love from your Loved ones♥️ together is a little easier Then alone 🥀
@@waterwolf982 ❤️❤️❤️❤️
It helps my heart to know that after my friends body was dragged down the stairs in a body bag...someone treated him with dignity and respect.
When my grandpa passed a few years ago before he did I didn’t really recognize him as himself and then when it was the open casket I saw just him looking peaceful and he honestly looked like him before he was sick. I miss him so much but I’m grateful that he is at peace
This career is a calling. And so so important. The care these people provide the living who mourn and all the respect they give the deceased. My father died a few months ago after losing his battle with addiction and all the help we got with his arrangements. The compassion they gave my family when we were all in very different grieving spaces was so beautiful. My mother was able to remember her husband as the man he was at his best because of them. And I’ll forever be grateful for that.
Wow🎁 you have been selected as the winner of my giveaway 🎉
Let's chat on Telegram 👆👆......
This is the main reason why I want to enter the field. It’s a calling it a career.
Not*
None of the top comments are talking about how Breyonce looks and acts nothing that you would expect a mortician to look and act like, and Victor is the exact opposite. Not as stereotyping, more as humor. How someone so full of life can be so caring about death, and someone so careful with death has such a care with life.
I love this comment, you articulated the difference between them so well! They both seem like very caring people who are passionate about their work
In a world that has too many podcasts, Victor is a person that I want a podcast from. Anything that I can listen to him being passionate and funny and just vibing. Dude is a treasure.
I absolutely love how Breyonce so much respect for the deceased and has so much compassion for them and for what she does even after all the time she's been working as a mortician.
Breyonce is so cute and passionate about this! Victor has a buddhist peace about him, I love them both.
VICTOR'S BACK!!! God, this man needs to make a youtube channel, id love to hear him talk about his job all day
I second that!
“you have to be connected to humanity to serve and protect humanity” that is a perfect thing to say. This should be a policy for every job where you have to work with humans especially in a passionate way
as someone who is currently studying to be a mortician, thank you so much for doing this interview. i think a lot of morticians get a bad rep because of stereotypes in the media and societal taboos around death and this really helped to break down some of that and show the profession in the same light as any other job.
BREYONCE’S STYLE IS AMAZING 🙏
The way u can hear their voice break multiple times is hearthbreaking
God I know, made me emotional.
It would be a nice juxtaposition to do a round two featuring Caitlin Doughty (Ask A Mortician), and other eco-morticians. There's a pretty fast growing movement of death care that's focused on encouraging family to be more involved, and looking into different alternate solutions to standard funeral practices.
my nana passed away last September, when I saw her in the hospital hooked up to everything, it was terrifying. it wasn’t her!! but when I saw her at the viewing and the funeral in the open casket, she looked so so youthful and beautiful. i am so thankful for these people who make it their goal to bring calmness and remembrance to the toughest time in our lives.
Same- this year I had 2 deaths close to me, my MIL (80) and my Aunt (69).
My Aunt was taken off of life support and seeing her intubated was so hard and she wasn’t herself. She was very meticulous about her appearance and she looked so beautiful at her viewing, hair and nails done perfectly just like she would have wanted.
My Mother in Law died suddenly alone after collapsing. She was taken to the Medical Examiner’s office so couldn’t be embalmed until Day 3 and I think that made a difference. Mortuary makeup couldn’t cover the marks on her face from hitting the kitchen counter as she fell, she looked more swollen than usual and she had a pained expression on her face. It also didn’t help that her siblings kept wanting to delay her funeral until they could get there so her viewing was 8 days after she died when we put our foot down that we wouldn’t accomodate any more delays. They did the best they could but we weren’t happy with how she looked, she looked better and more “her” when I identified her body on Day 2.
@moseschrute It's interesting how something as simple as a face can change how people feel after a death.
I never met my grandparents on my dad's side. I only knew of my grandma through photographs. She looked like a thinner, more tired version of me with a slightly bigger forehead and greener eyes.
I did meet her mother, my Nona. Nona loved to dance, wear cute dresses, and eat delicious foods. She had a twinkle in her eyes when she saw her great grandkids and had a picture of us with our names on her fridge.
The last time I saw her alive, she was dying of brain cancer and a stroke had left her shriveled and paralyzed in a wheelchair. The twinkle in her eyes was gone. My parent told me she wanted to die. I made a wish that she'd be happy.
I dream of her, happy and dancing and wearing her pretty dress. I didn't see her body when she finally passed. I feel like she understands.
I want to remember her as the happy Italian great grandma who loved salami and had a twinkle in her eyes when we came to visit.
TW: LOSS
We lost a pregnancy pretty far into it this summer (super traumatic awful experience) and the person who came to us in the hospital from the funeral home to talk to us was so gentle and kind. He respected our beliefs and the tone of the room as well as doing everything he could to accommodate the options we selected and how we chose to proceed. He was so respectful and I felt understood and cared for.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, my heart goes out to you. Im glad you had someone so gentle to take care of you in your time of need. I hope you’re doing okay 💕
The setting of features was so fascinating to me when I got into the field. I remember I had a man who was a mechanic in life. He was in terrible shape for a natural death. He suffered from awful chronic pain and the expression that his face defaulted to was an awful grimace. Like full pinched eyebrows and tight lips as if he was clenching his jaw. Nothing we did could soften his expression and I had never known that was something that could occur.
This really made me realize embalming is a form of art. The attention to detail and going above and beyond for the families in sensitive times is really admirable
My friend just died a few days ago and this video gives a little peace knowing she is being cared for. I miss her so much but thank you for this video. RIP my beautiful friend.
im so sorry for your loss 🕊️
Morticians are such interesting people. Detached yet kind. The last gift you can give a person.
Also Breyonce's outfit is 🔥. Those boots are amazing
I don't think detached is the correct word, maybe u bothered?
Edit: UNBOTHERED* Unintentionally went all "u mad bro?" at the end.
@@RealBradMiller 🤣 Desensitized is maybe best. I had a boss who was a funeral director for years. Very funny guy with extremely dark humor, maybe not the most sensitive. They do see so much that can be very traumatizing.
There is this K-drama called May I Help You, where one of the main charachters is also a mortician and the drama taught me exactly everything this video taught me too. That there is way more to the process and there are so many people and emotions involved. I'm truly grateful to all the morticians out there because they are truly strong and kind people that help both the living and dead.
Oooh gonna check out that K-drama.
I love how this video starts with "are morticians really just morbid freaks?" and then Anthony asks Breyonce why she chose this job and she goes on to be a morbid freak xD She seems like a sweet and compassionate person. I really enjoyed how thorough her answers were and you could also see how much she respects the people she works with.
My sister is a morticians apprentice and I’m shocked at how much she’s learned but also how intimate her job truly is. Normally in movies you see pale, grim, creepy men as morticians but it’s way more loving and intricate than that. God Bless morticians!
When my mother in law died, I remember two people very specifically. The nurse in her hospice wing that was extremely kind and empathetic, and the funeral director who got us through the viewing and burial and funeral, and he was extremely sympathetic and connected to us. It's very important.
Victor's personality attitude, and perspective in regards of his job is genuinely amazing, makes you feel comfortable taking about death. mad respect for both of them.
Breyonce and Victor are so sweet. They deserve a great appreciation for doing this job and being so kind and caring not only to the deceased but to the family of the deceased.
They both have very calming voices. That’s good for the families that have the loved one who’s passed
When she mentioned children and babies it broke my heart cause I never really thought about that :(
Wish Ask a Mortician was on here. I freaking LOVE HER! But excited to watch other morticians as well
she would've been perfect
Indeed, I was super sad she wasn't in the video :(
How can you make a video about morticians without Caitlin Doughty?
Honestly, I thought the same - yet Caitlin has her own channel and, in my opinion, a significant presence on youtube, so why not show other cool and interesting morticians? :)
I guess we need a part 2!
it’s not the same as a person of course, but i watched my dog’s body sit in the garage for two days after she passed. decomposition absolutely goes quicker than you would think and trust me you do not want to see anyone you love change in that way. it’s absolutely a gift that these morticians give to the deceased’s loved once’s to preserve and “bring back” the original look of someone who’s died, and it’s such bs that some characterize the profession as weird or creepy
Anthony, I can totally relate to the present grieving vs the past. It’s because the day we learned of their death, we still knew them to be alive. The next day they’re gone and the past memories come forward, since their living is no longer the present. My mom passed away 4 years ago from a fatal heart attack. I requested to go up and see her before the ambulance took her away. This was my way of finding acceptance and peace from her passing. It is completely surreal. Seeing someone you love completely lifeless. The day before, my mom would’ve looked at me with loving eyes and interacted with me. After death, she was a statue of herself, not blinking or breathing. This may be too much for some people, but I had to see her in her final moments to familiarize myself with what happened to her. It helped me grieve.
My grandfather has been a mortician my entire life so I’ve always had respect for the professional through him. appreciate the kindness of these folks
My little sister passed away from unexpected illness earlier this year. The mortician who prepared her were very kind to me and my mom. This has been the hardest thing in my life I've had to face so I'll never forget that kindness.
Victor M. Sweeney is one of my favorite people in this world, I enjoy every video he has ever participated in because he always approaches any given subject with respect.
He also is so calm and helps you understand the technicalities, especially for someone like me who always wanted to follow that path, his process makes me hyped every single time.
Victor is so professional and at the same time empathic.
Lost both my parents, my dad in 2021 and mum in this yr in July. This video made me appreciate the funeral home my family always goes to.
They always don't like seeing us but having so many family members pass in recent years. But they feel apart of our family with how they look after us.
Sorry for your lost 🙏
The career of a mortician sounds fascinating. Its exposure to something most people cannot handle but is absolutely necessary for the sake of ritual and grief. It's a very human career.
Also recession proof.
@@heathercameron1485 Well, that depends on how hungry people get.
I've had a fascination with death since I was kid like Breyonce, and I knew since I was in middle school that I wanted to work as a mortitian..sadly I'm turning 24 this year and I still haven't followed any career path in mind because I always felt so lost about life in general, and this video ignited in me the passion I always had for this job since childhood. I'll definitely take Victor's advice and start looking for a place to get hired even if I only have to clean around, honestly I will be satisfied with my life just being in a space related to death lol
i love victor, his name rocks and he's just so kind and well spoken. i hope everything is going okay with him
Sometimes certain topics get a part two, this is one I'd love to see get a part two! Especially since this kinda covered "classic" embalming and the most common sort of experience people will have with a Mortician. If we get a second video I'd really like to see Caitlin from Ask a Mortician, because she's all about making sure alternative methods are known when the family has to decide what's going to work for their family member, and Anthony always coming in with just the best questions as an interviewer, I think the episode would turn out stellar!
I was just thinking about Ask A Mortician! I agree - this needs a part two.
Yes! Came to comment just that - we need another episode but with Caitlin as a guest!
I would also love to see Anthony interview her.
It's great seeing someone like Breyonce in this line of work. She looks like a dope friend I could have, just a regular, fun lady who has an unusual job.
He did a beautiful job of explaining our career and not making it creepy or morbid. You can tell he isn’t here to gain social credit, but to educate. Excellent job Victor ❤
Victor gave me a whole new perspective on death and made it a lot easier in my mind. Everyone one on here were great and amazing people.
I usually hate open caskets because the person never really truly looks like themself. However, my grandfather recently passed. He had been sick for a long time. And when I saw him, I was in awe of just how good he looked. It was a healing moment for me to see him seemingly whole again after watching him suffer for so long. He is the closest person I've ever lost and I am incredibly thankful that that was my last experience with him.
I'm a very visual person so when Victor tells the story of his first time seeing a body getting embalmed, I can't help but create images in my mind on how my late friend was embalmed and I just got emotional. I'm just happy people like Breyonce and Victor exist because at the very least, bereaved families like us can have some sense of peace seeing them.
This is one of the only episodes where I've cried, and nothing was really sad either. It's more tears about finding out that people care about people when others wouldn't, it gives me comfort in knowing that.
4 minutes in and I’m in tears. Victor, your empathy and care is felt through the screen.
This is my favorite episode. Have I been watching Caitlin's videos for years. Absolutely love Victor. My only disappointment is that Caitlin was not in the video.
Yeah she would've given a nice alternative death option ideas and views. Plus she's real fun and educational ✌️
Awesome! Another deathling in the comments. Hi! I love Caitlin Doughty’s (Ask A Mortician) videos. I learn so much from them and yes it would’ve been amazing if they’d interviewed her
totally agree, although these two seem very compassionate and good at their jobs it would have been nice to hear from another perspective of the funeral care industry. Maybe that is too fringe for an introductory video to the topic- but perhaps a future video?
Me too!
She is what made me want to go to mortuary school
When he explained how he spend hours working to preserve that body so the family could see him one last time brought tears to my eyes. What an amazing and compassionate human being
Dear god, it was so hard to get through this episode. I absolutely loved it, but each description, each story, each encounter with death... Had me sobbing, I was ready to cry my eyes out.
Understandable. Prospective means a lot.
RIP.
The craziest part for me was learning how when people die, whether they were more of a happy, or more of a sad person, will show within their death with how the body will naturally position itself. That's real fascinating.
It's interesting for sure. Also saddens me a bit because I frown a lot so I suppose I'll look unhappy in death as well.
Breyonce is such a sweet soul! I think that's something that a lot of people don't realize. The thought of a Mortician is either a clinically clean surgeon making precise cuts and conventionally dressed, or some Darkly Inclined maniac getting kicks from the process. Both of these extremes exist, but it takes a real compassionate soul to work with the dead, whether that's hospice care or prepping the body for a viewing one last time. I would have the compassionate part down, but I don't know if I could compartmentalize and unhook myself from having a personal connection to the dying and the dead. It's certainly not a job for everyone, but I'm grateful that it is for some.
My grandfather recently died and they let the family see him before he got cremated. Which he wasn’t embalmed. And he was very sick before he died. But they didn’t put any makeup on him or anything. I was so disturbed. It didn’t look anything like him. I appreciate people like this who put their heart and soul into healing families
Wow, that’s awful. I’m sorry for your loss.
I have to go to my grandma's funeral in a few days and listening to morticians like these who care is really comforting.
My husband died of cancer in 2012. My son was murdered in 2018. My life has come to a stand still. I cannot move on.
Breyonce and Victor are some very wonderful humans and I’m glad they’re the type of people supporting vulnerable people.
Victor has such a gift with the way he explains things and speaks to people. I imagine he brings a lot of families comfort and peace.
i have such respect for these people, i could never do it, and it really takes a special kind of person to be able to do it
I love the contrast of the two. One, so emotional and real and raw, and one, so factual and informational (yet still, not cold❤) and textbook info we all want as well. Well done.
Hey! So which one of us was which??? hahaha.
I loved this episode. Breyonce and Victor seem like phenomenal people in their field. Would have also loved to see Caitlin Doughty!
Whatever your opinion on embalming, I'm grateful that I got that time to experience the traditional Irish way to grieve with my family when my Grandfather died. I was living abroad as did many other family members, so it gave us time to come home for the funeral. And in traditional Irish fashion, my Grandfather was embalmed and stayed in his home with the family until the funeral. He was laid in a casket in the front-room, and family would gather there to talk to him, to swap stories of his life, cry and laugh together... There was no shortage of funny stories to tell! 😄 Everyone got a chance to spend some time alone with him if they wished, to grieve, to say some last words, to place an item into the casket... It was a strange yet wonderful experience.
Strange? It sounds like an interesting story. Hope I would get that experience.
this is similar to how we do it in māori culture! the casket will be open and with the family in the days leading up to the burial and we also interact with the person, tell stories about them and grieve. there’s a lot more that goes into it all of course but all that sounds the same, i think it’s actually a very healing and special way of sending someone off. it’s very cool to hear other cultures have similar practices ❤
@@teapotgoblinit's actually a pretty common thing! Before funeral homes and such existed there wasn't really anything else to be done with a body besides burial (including things like cremation in that term just to simplify it), and for a burial to be done preparations had to be made according to the culture's funeral traditions, which could take some time, and especially if the individual passed during bad weather or at night it may not be possible to begin some of those preparations right away. So, where better for a body to stay than with family? They likely would have died in the family home, so it would be the best and easiest place to prepare their body, allow the family to say their last goodbyes, and hold them while they waited to be formally sent to their next life.
Of course, with modern embalming practices it smells a lot better and is a lot less confronting than it would have been back then, so that's one thing to be thankful for. It means families can wait longer to hold the funeral, giving more family the chance to attend, and giving everyone more time to grieve in the presence of their lost loved one.
@@butasimpleidiotwizard ah yeah that definitely makes sense, i hadn’t really thought of why things might be like that but it’s interesting to hear
@@teapotgoblin That's cool to hear that it's similar in māori culture. Thanks for sharing! ❤
I only can imagine this while seeing this video:
Barbie: "have you ever thought about dying?"
Breyonce as a Bratz: "all the time girl, that's why I live my life to the fullest"
And then they become besties