I'm with you. I'm tired of working hard to get to another level where I need to work harder as well as smarter. Hustle culture is over rated and I'm over it.
Many of people have gave majority of their energy and time to working. They reach a good retirement don’t live long after. Such loss of energy, life and family bonding lost to the security of money in senior age. I want to see changes in how the work place handle employees with children and family time. More time off through the year is a very healthy step to happy employees. I would like to employer’s embrace the idea of 4 10 hour work days and give the employees 3 days off. Friday-Sunday or Saturday-Mondays.
On top of that our job doesn’t gaf about us or our family.. I realized this over time and when they fired me over something dumb.. I used to break my back for those people missing out on time with my kids. It wasn’t worth it . AT ALL. BE SELFISH .. take care of yourself . Politely say no
"I have nothing to show from working hard except exhaustion, deferred dreams, and illness in my body. I am exhausted and burnt out from working hard." This is gold!
So I'm a teacher in Europe and one of the things you said really stuck out. We don't celebrate people who get C's in America. I found that so profound because where I live parents literally pay me for their children to just pass. (By the way passing in this country is a 50% or higher. You literally have to just be average to make it.) It's funny because in the beginning, I was pushing my students to get A's and B's. I would give them little incentives if they made the grade and scold them if they didn't. Yet, the parents were all like, "no, I just need my child to pass." In fact one mom today was so happy because her son made a D-. I have been beating my head in to try to get at least a B and his mom congratulated me for the D-. Funny thing is this kid will go to university in two years, get a job and no one will care that he didn't get an A. The sad truth is that I've been stressed and work myself to death for them and I would have gotten paid the same whether he got an A or a F. Even more telling is the fact that in this culture people are way happier and are actually the second longest living culture in the world. I didn't get it until I heard this. 💡 moment!
I’ve always heard people say “work twice as hard to get half of what they have” I REFUSE to live by this mantra in my life. Idgaf if it’s a self imposed incantation or the truth, I will not inherently devalue myself like that out the gate regardless of what others are doing. I’m HUMAN. I deserve REST and LIESURE.
i was doing too much at work and paid the price. now i don't volunteer for NOTHING. i do the basics and keep it moving so i have time for myself: rest, spas, yoga, camping, photography. sometimes my old self creeps in and wants to do a whole lot, and i tell her gently no love we on a different path now.
Exactly and they would replace us in a few days if we die. efF those people they don’t care about us. They care only about the money we make them. I’m so glad you are pouring into yourself I love this for you ❤
When I was younger, I had to correct a woman who declared naps as being decadent. Resting when tired is normal. Every other creature on the planet rests. When we stop treating ourselves as commodities instead of precious beings we will treat ourselves better.
Thiiiiiiiiis!!!! I love that so much. Thank you for telling her that. You may have freed her, too. And yeeeeeeeeeees! Stop treating ourselves like COMMODITIES!!!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I get you there. It's always been "you're so intelligent" or "you're so good at this or that, why don't you just overwork yourself everyday like we do?" And for what? A lifestyle I don't need or want, rarely being able to chill out or enjoy myself? No thanks.
I rested for three months straight after getting laid off from my “dream job” that only turned out to be completely exhausting. Fortunately I got severance pay which allowed me to take this break. I literally did NOTHING. I rested, ate healthy, worked out when my body allowed, and reconsidered what was important to me. When I tell you this was THE BEST time OF MY LIFE. I no longer dedicate myself to anything that doesn’t serve me. Rest is actually my number one priority. My family and friends make fun of me but I don’t care. Lol. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. ❤️
Since 2012, I have not wanted to work because it interferes with the hours of the day that I am at my best between 04:30 and 14:00. Walking, yoga class, journaling , and swimming take me to 12:00 pm . After 5pm my mind and body want to hit a Steam room to rest. I am 65 finalizing my process to move from the USA to Thailand. Sending Divine Light and loving kindnesses. Thanking you for sounding the wake up call we need to hear. Iris
YES, this is so true. I am so tired of having to explain why I do not want to overwork myself to people. If I am not slaving with a heart almost about to burst while at work or anything, people assume and say I am lazy. What a f*$% up way our society thinks. I've taken control of my own life and I want to rest as much as I can. My mother worked her A%$ off, none stop. By the time she believed she'd be able to finally rest at 65 years with retirement benefits... she passed away from cancer after only 4 months of getting her benefits. That is insane and so sad. I felt so sad... that she never got a chance to rest in her entire life. -cries- I am determined to get my rest and relaxation as much as possible. Also accomplish my different dreams, but I won't rush at all. Hugs you tight. Thank you for this message Alecia. :D 😍😁
Growing up my mom would wake me up early on the weekends. If I woke up at 9am I would be told Im up late. She slaved in her marriage for so long and thought that was normal. She was always on her feet cooking and tending to me and my siblings 247. At one point even having two jobs and working double shifts. While my dad didnt work nearly as hard as her. He stayed unemployed for a long time. Refused to babysit or help around the house but would always insult and control her. Now as an adult I dont kill myself at all. I sleep as long as I want to sleep. And I have a job that I work from home. When I dont want to cook I order out. And Im raising my two kids in peace!!!!!
I pray this video gets 10 million views, such excellent content. Give from your overflow. I stopped depleting myself, now I'm on the mend. I give myself 12 months to totally recalibrate myself. My journey started 8 years ago, just got divorced 11 months ago. Now the next phase is moving forward with rest.
Gosh love this ..I remember doing that when I divorced. The first thing came to my mind was I can't wait to sleep. I slept my first night by myself in my new apt and was like wow I am exhausted.
Much love to you both!!! This is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Thank you so much for sharing this with me, with all of us! 💛🌻🌺 I'm so glad y'all chose yourselves and also chose to REST! I'm praying for healing, Holistic rest and JOY above all else. Y'all DESERVE.
Wow! this video felt SO aligned with where I'm at. I moved countries and I decided to rest for nearly an entire year. I didn't work and lived off savings and I was still for a while, no social media and looked at my habits and routines. I did a lot of personal development and reassessing of my life and it was the hardest, but most mentally and spiritually rewarding time I've ever had yet. It was hard to share with others because they couldn't really understand but I knew it was the best decision for me and I'm proud that I allowed myself to truly and intentionally rest. Thank you for posting this video, this message is so so important!
Yes! Thank you. Capitalist America seems to always have a solution. This insinuates they know the problem so they generate more problems so we can buy their solutions. It's an endless cycle. We put things that should just be normal (self care, self love, REST, and etc) on a pedestal because we are constantly stripped of these things in the society we live in...
@@AleciaRenece Bingo! For a while, I started to spend alot of money taking cruises and traveling, then a light bulb hit me out of nowhere and I realized that instead of spending so much money on vacationing, I could save that money and create a stress-free life permanently, instead of going back to a stressful job that I hate. I'm saving money now and have found a way to soon escape the matrix and horrific cycle and I'm determined to reach my goal.
Black women work harder, because some of us are quick to trap ourselves with children, without support and resources. I am 37 years old with no children and it's hard enough without kids and a husband, why would I want to give myself even MORE responsibilities and stress? I don't understand how my mom and grandma did it. I'm like were ya'll THAT bored that you chose to have kids and bring them into this screwed up, work obsessed, stressful, racist world? I don't get it and never did, which is why I'm childfree and looking to also be job free, with my own sustainable business and less bills. Sometimes as black women we make it harder on ourselves.
i feel the same way, that's one reason i chose not to have children because i intuitively knew their responsibilities would be too much for me--i wanted to give myself the freedom to just parent/take care of myself
Amen. I am reading this while exhausted. I am waiting for my therapist (who is late for the paid call), while doing laundry, while writing a proposal for my small business, while barely staying awake. I have zero children and at work everyone has children and treats me as if my life is incomplete without children. I don't want any children, I am tired already.
Lol im also 37 childfree and single and feel the same way you do. I don't know why and see how black women take on all of this responsibility of motherhood. It looks exhausting and i would never want to force a child into this disgusting world.
@@inspiredbykindness4699 i hear you, at work, some folks look at me strange too, but many are jealous/envious too so send them blessings and keep it moving, i actually think some folks regret having kids even though thats taboo to admit in our culture
Words. Your words. I have been on this journey for 5 years now. Resting. It has taken years for me to stop feeling guilty for resting. I have completely disconnected from the rat trace. I have been fought consistantly because I have chosen this life of self care for myself. People are violently angry with me because of my self care practices. Which makes me lean into it more. This is the work. I watched my mom work herself to death. There is no award for the martyr and even if their were, I don't want it. I came here to elevate my spiritual being and this world keeps us on the hampster wheel so that we can't do the work we came to do. Hear, hear sis! I am not tired either. I live life for deeper levels of self care and yes rest is just the beginning.
I've come to a point in my life now where I'm actually working towards early retirement. I'm hoping to retire early by 35 with disposable income... I have a job right now that I'm comfortable with that I have no intention of moving up in ranks. I dont want to be a manager of any sort, I just want to remain where I am until I can retire. Lots of people look at it as lazy, but I'm just exhausted...
Why IS exhaustion celebrated and not calm and peace?? This video resonated with me with a loud bang!! I was working two jobs for two years and not only was my sleep affected but my mental health. I gave up that rat race and glad I did! Thanks for this video!❤️
Everything you’re saying, I keep thinking about Beyoncé for some reason. I wouldn’t be considered a beehive member, but I like her music, but I’m thinking of how she’s always praised for “working so hard” “she’s the hardest working woman in show biz”, but the white girls get more money for mediocre work( performances, albums, abilities, etc.) I wonder if Beyoncé does therapy and does this topic come up 🤔
This video really spoke to me. I lived a long adulthood of hustle. Someone came into my life almost 5 years ago and introduced this thing called “rest” lmao. It was so foreign to me that I began to reject him and my brain processed his actions as stunting my growth. I slowly allowed myself to actually do this thing called rest 2 years ago with him and I can’t lie, I still struggle with this. I feel like Im supposed to be doing something exhausting, not drinking tea and reading a book or exploring hobbies everyday. There is a lot of unlearning I need to do because allowing myself to rest has expedited my growth more than any hard labor I have ever done in the past. My military experience, college degrees, careers and businesses cannot even light a match to the experience of how rest made me the woman I am today.
I made a conscious decision to stop all of the busy work I’ve been doing. Telling family members “no” has been an experience. They ask me why I can’t help and I simply say I’m resting. People will leave you depleted IF you let them.
I can't stress enough how much I love this space. First, I read this book called Essentialism by Greg McKeown, without going into too much detail the gist of it is, making the things you do purposeful, not saying yes to everything and carving out time to do the things you actually love with the ones you love. I think you would love this book. second...I have a friend, who's younger, we met at work, and I feel like she feels as if she always has to "feel busy" and fill up her everyday, and her weekends with just, doing stuff. because that's what her age group and culture says she should be doing. I disagree. I'm in my 40's and when I don't want to do something, I won't. I say no. I've left social media, I don't do many brunches, because I refuse to commit to shelling out $50-60 bucks on non-essential meetings just to say, Oh I had lunch/bunch/linner/dinner with (fill in the blank) Doing it for the gram, Nahh I'm good. When I want to get up at noon on a Saturday, I will. When I don't want to fulfil my weekend expectations and just relax, I will. I no longer feel the need to commit to other people "needing me" when it's never about me, it's always about them. My friend is exhausted from life and she's only 29, and I say it's because you fill up your space/time/selfcare with nothingness. Alecia, please don't stop spreading this message amongst BW. We need this commentary in our lives. We don't have to be to others disposal. BW owe it to themselves to be the best they can be for them!
I’m rocking w this. As a recovering workaholic working 125 hours a week putting everyone first this is well needed. Leaving after a recent promotion to only working 15-20 hours a week. Had no idea how much I owed myself. I’m a black man but this video still resonates w me and is helping my healing now. I nap to this . Good content 👍
This!!! This!!! This!!! All THIS!!! Thank you so much for choosing yourself and sharing your journey with us. I felt all of that....literally. We are worthy 🌻
I have worked so hard and supported so many that I almost died. I am slowly healing and tending to myself. I truly thought exhaustion was normal. No more!
Trust me..I've been through a lot over the years and I've reached a point where I'm mentally done. Rest has really helped and a stroll through the park being at one with nature.
Hey Beauty, I absolutely resonate with this, I'm leaving for vacation in 30 days, just to rest, and my director of nursing is big jealous...32 yr old Filipino girl, with no life skills, little does she Kno I'll be gone for a month in February 😎, Rest is the boss of Denise, my Grandmother worked herself sick in a early grave, and before she died she made me promise that I wouldn't work hard, being a single black mom raising 2 kids alone with absolutely no help, I couldn't do nothing else but work hard,....now that I'm 61 and my kids and grandkids are grown, i have completely fallen back ...m Rest is the Boss of me🕶️😊😎, Thank u for speaking and teaching this resonate with my soul. @Stephanie Perry, @Picky girl travels the world @Roshida Dough, I listen to them, and I am a proud member of Exodus Summit, Peace and blessings 😊😎😊☀️
Three things that BW had stripped away from them and that I wish BW would start implementing into their life are REST, SELF-CARE, and PLEASURE. We've been taught to put everyone in front and above us. We've been taught that pleasure is a perk and not a benefit or our natural birth right. We've been taught to live in the sacrificial seat which leads to exhaustion, stress, and so many health problems. Ladies..it's time to put yourself FIRST. 🌹
Exactly and what alot of black women fail to realize is that alot of the health issues we struggle with could be completely prevented, if we would just REST and change our life styles.
As a BW this video and the comments section resonates with me so much … I’m in the Govt sector and ppl want me to move up the corporate ladder because of my work performance.. My thought 💭 No thank you I’ll just continue to get my raise increases x year and do the same work I honestly don’t mind my final pay scale being close to 80k I can live with that 🤷🏽♀️
You are literally saving lives queen. I've been battling cancer for years and never gave myself permission to rest. Your message has freed me. May blessings always find you 💛
My exhaustion was due to me leaving everything on the job… and not having even the strength to get out of the car after a long work day… I literally walked away…
I've had to explain why I wanted to rest so many times, which in itself is exhausting. I've also noticed that Black Women are always expected to be "on" at home, at work, socially...which is unfair and not realistic. I have shifted and am realizing it has NOT been a badge of honor to not have hard stops at work, set boundaries, or be exhausted for the sake of your job, socially, in families, or with your partner/kids. I want to honor myself first (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) so that I am not constantly sacrificing my health/joy for others. Thank you for sharing this! 💛
I to as your other followers state would be frowned upon for taking time to rest and to heal my mind, my soul my spirit… my baby sister used to tell me why are you always sleeping because it is as important as exercising… yes we work till we die… Ince when my daughter and I decided to just get quiet and rest my entire immediate family thought as though we weren’t speaking with them and that was not the issue. We had back to back death 3 generations wiped out just like that. My Aunt then her last living son and then her grandson… I was exhausted talking to my cousin who was the last child of my deceased Aunt and then her son was killed.. I had to rest… It is true as you notate in this piece, depression, anxiousness, grief all brushed aside and you are supposed to carry on instead of healing
Not me🤣 I lie and pretend I’m exhausted, tired, overwhelmed and overworked. Meanwhile, I just enjoy being alone, relaxing eating CBD gummies and sleeping. I eat in my car, dodge all humans and always say no😜 I work temp jobs a few months then relax a few months. Imma pop a gummy now🥰🧚🏾♀️
Im single, childfree and lead a minimalist lifestyle and thinking about quitting my job and working temp jobs for some months then resting the other months.
@@saramatthews7159 I’m married, we have only one child, I work at a school district and spend my weekends doing whatever I want. Nothing beats laying in my hammock reading all day or simply staring into space.
THIS....all of it! Bless you for this posting because resting is a struggle that I have been battling for over a year. I associated resting with laziness/lacking because that is what I was taught. Again love this! Be safe on your travels and stay bless!
Exactly so. In the Carribbean its that way too. And everytime i lay down my mind says thats too much. Moving away from that thought now a days. My Pastor gave a message on the topic.." The Rythym of rest" I need to go back and listen to that again.
@@exquisitecaribbeanqueen7198 Hmm I have not heard of that and my husband and parents are born in Jamaica. That sounds awful to be honest (referring to the laziness). I do believe we (bw) work hard to prove ourselves to others and that needs to stop. In the UK, it's always a battle between bw and wm with fashion, salary, hair etc. I've noticed this, but it's up to the person if they want to put themselves through that torture. We choose our paths. We shouldn't let society decide for us. But that's my 2 cents 😅. I'm a rebel and follow no one. 🤭 That said I now need to watch the video. I literally jumped straight to the comments. 😅
you said -“i associated resting with laziness” - that whole part…welcome to the awakening the universe is manifesting…let’s teach our daughters before it’s too late…
I learned that I have to rest deeeeeppply. I don't care if they say that I am lazy. We're exhausted because we want to work/slave away at what we don't want. Work for money, pay bills get 4 degrees. No am not doing that
I stopped working this year to focus on learning how to get really good at my basic self care: nutrition, sleep, hair, skin, & nail care, self acceptance. I may have to forego some luxuries, but I honestly didn’t have the time to enjoy them before anyway. I couldn’t agree with you more that rest is the foundation of joy. Stewardship comes before giving ~catholic priest I used to talk to.
REST! 1. The foundation of this country was built on the backs of ENSLAVED AND INDIGENOUS people where we had to be exhausted for this country to thrive 2. We have been conditioned to normalize and celebrate being exhausted 3. We are always checking our phones, putting ourselves in places where we don’t feel safe and always giving 4. We have been taught that in order to be successful human- beings exhaustion is the price we have to pay. So we sacrifice our joy, health and mental fortitude to see this country succeed when this country doesn’t care about us 5. The “system” takes and takes but gives little back to the people who give into the system (no wonder people are anxious and depressed) 6. Interesting…how the people at the top who are benefiting from people being exhausted are NOT tired. They are on vacations, yachts and planes. They are going and doing whatever they want because they are the BENEFICIARIES of the exhausted people’s labor…We are not addressing this problem 7. OPT OUT the choke hold of hustle culture 8. Stop being “ALL IN” and betraying our bodies 9. COMMIT TO SELF AND ALIGN WITH SELF 10. REST...Do the bare minimum to still make an impact. 11. GIVE FROM THE OVERFLOW not the cup itself. Well said my sistah!
Y’all pray for me . Cuz I work for a company that really don’t care about me whatsoever . Praying I find a better job fr . It’s becoming so overwhelming when I want so much more for myself and I want to be able to just breathe and reset .
I'm definitely praying for you now! I believe something better is coming. *BIG HUGS* You deserve rest, deep breaths and long pauses to reset. Much love and joy to you, Beautiful.
Giirrrrlll, preach why don’t you! I’m on vacay and am still beating myself up with the “shoulds”; I should do this, I should do that… Phew, chile! You said a mouthful!
I completely understand that feeling. It's so difficult for me to truly rest without guilt or shame around what I could be doing. But we are here not to be productive, but to enjoy this beautiful life we've been gifted with. 💛🌺
I am so happy I found your channel.As black women, many of us don’t have someone to have these conversations with.When I bring things like this up, I’m looked at as unappreciative or lazy or not a “hustler”…but that isn’t my goals.my goals are to help people with my business and create the reality of my dreams.I find comfort in being in nature and music.And now you and your videos💚
I am a black woman as well, and I felt this video. I got enough sleep but it was still hard for me to work. I was mentally exhausted. It happens to me a few times over two or three weeks. I also struggle with a few periods of depression regularly every few days or so. A lot of the depression seems to be caused from a deep, painful, unhealed void in my soul from emotional trauma. I feel some of my exhaustion comes from being forced to work each day while that void exists and continues to eat at me inside.
I feel this in the pit of my soul. I recently moved (which is already exhausting), then I had to immediately work on getting utilities turned on and set the security up and making sure the washer, stove and shower are working properly. I gave myself permission to not rush to unpack boxes. I set a 1 box a day goal, but some days I don't even touch a box. I have no problem opening a box to get something I need, but other than that I have allowed myself to take my time unpacking. It will get done eventually. Like yourself rest has become a big part of my self love journey. When I work, I work hard...now I'm learning to rest just as hard.
You don’t understand how much these videos give me hope and life. I watched my parents slave until their hair was grey just to make ends meet. No matter how hard they worked, it was never enough and they were constantly exhausted. I knew from being a child that wasn’t the life I wanted. I was working two jobs last year and I fell sick three times. My body was completely drained. I know I have my make myself my number one priority. I see my youth well into my 30s -40s. Thank you for this video ♥️
I love this "Honor yourself". Gosh I could relate to so many things you were speaking on. After watching one of Stephanie's videos, I decided to remove the words hustle and grind from my vocabulary. Yes, I believe in working, however, there should be limits to how much we give of our ourselves to anyone period.
So glad I saw Stephanie's video about ditching black excellence because she recommended your videos. Thank you for sharing your journey. I seriously needed this at this very moment. Thank you!
I remember during the early stages of the pandemic, after I had quit my job. For a whole week, my body was so exhausted and I legit would sleep for the whole day to the point that I thought something was wrong. But it was just exhaustion
Yes!!! Talk to yaself as a child.. I’ve been doing this for 10 months bc I recognized and admitted that IM TIRED!!! and I’ve been thanking myself for making that shift. And now the child ideas/ businesses I had when young…are coming to the front and I since I’ve slowed down on the hustle I start embarking on those ideas… I hope that made sense n can help someone
I needed this advice more than anyone I know. My daughter forwarded this to me. Now, I can start really enjoying life instead of marching to the beat of an insane culture of exhaustion. Thank you! Thank you!
There are so many good things you said in this video that I could definitely relate to! Like you, I was taught from a young age about having to excel. My program at school was SPACE - Special Program for Academic and Creative Excellence which had many more that followed with their special acronyms throughout school. I agree others, if given the same attention and care could also do what we were being taught to do. Now at 51 I finally realize that I am exhausted and accepting that I need rest. Thank you for sharing all of this!
Not a bw but I’m a mom and I’m BURNT OUT 😵💫😵💫😵💫 constantly tired, constantly sleepy until it’s time to sleep lol also , don’t break your back for a job that will replace you if you die tomorrow. BE SELFISH, learn to say no and pour into yourself because that job doesn’t care about you . It wasn’t worth it for me AT ALL
Yes, this is the capitalism culture. In our original cultures, it was more communal and we didn't work to death. There were a lot of celebrations, rituals that gave life energy, and even when we did do our work and teachings in the temples, we had several healers. Everyone used their natural gifts and that in itself was energy-giving. Everyone played a part in society so you didn't have to do everything by yourself. And there were plenty of gatherings and conversations. People weren't working until exhaustion, but everyone had an integral role to make society a little bit easier for everyone else.
Thank you for this message Queen. Much needed message. I'm over the idea of Black excellence movement, I'm tired of the American dreams culture, I just want to rest
Great video . Much needed. Blk women need to take rest most serious because lack of rest is rooted in illness, misery etc. BW must learn to set the boundaries of protecting their rest and learning to say No , when thing are too much. The hustle culture will send blk women to an early grave. I was 27 when I had to leave the work force and apply for disability. With in one year I had 72 doctors appointments. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I had been working since I was 14 , put myself through undergrad, cancer survivor, had nothing to show for my accomplishments but debt, illness, near homelessness, food insecurities. Yet , I’m expected to show up at work ready to take care of everyone’s demands. I lost my job when I was hospitalized for a week. Due to pancreatitis. And written up when I took a week off for a surgery I planned before I was hired for one job. The same quality of life other groups of women have, blk women are give the same regard for bw quality of life.
I'm glad I found your page Sis! I want to start speaking on similar topics. This is where I'm at on my healing journey! I just want a simply life that allow me to be creative & simply BE!!!
Wow! You are saying everything I feel. I’m so exhausted I’m not sure where I’m headed. I could go on and on about this 9-5 world where people are tired stressed and depressed. I can’t do it anymore 😢
Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder. I so appreciate your time to organize and plan your sharing and still allowing Spirit to channel through. This has been a large part of my 5 year journey. The most simple and healing practice. Rest. Sleep. Go as slow as the slowest part of you needs to. You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to have a breakthrough 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
You are not alone. Seriously. It may take some work to work through these blocks, but it's so worth it! 💛🤗🌻 It'll probably hard at first, but the more we practice, the easier it gets.
I’m SO there and been here since 2011 so I praise you and I hear you and I see you🥰💛☀️ I “retired” at age 42 and have never looked back… of course I’ve created more and peacefully maintained my life but it’s been soft and NOW I’m sober and soft getting plenty of rest…I commend you for making or contributing to those that make this a whole a** movement and platform #Salute
Being neurodivergent adds a whole nother level of exhaustion to the mix! As a Black woman diagnosed with ADHD last year, I can tell you that the toxic work culture had me pushing myself to perform in ways that were counterintuitive to my mental health and well-being. After achieving company set goals, I’d often find myself exhausted and still unfulfilled. The final straw was when I developed IBS-like symptoms and was forced to quit soon after promoting. It’s bullshit that Black women are constantly doing all the heavy lifting in these ⚪️spaces and receive a whole lot of nothing in return … like applauses and handshakes will make up for all the harm done from their intentional neglect of our basic human needs or thé co-opting of our techniques and methods to achieve said success, claiming ‘company property’ I still struggle with rest, but it’s getting easier and better the more I practice it! I hope we all make it to space where sleep is less of a controversial act and more of a protected human right✊🏾💯
I took the year after my child graduated and took a deep rest. At first it was really hard bc it felt wrong but slowly, as I realized how tired I actually was, I began to appreciate it. Now I’m rejuvenated and feeling great. It was so worth it
Exactly it such a dangerous path to continue down. My daughter went from watching me work tirelessly for 3 years and one day I stopped. She didn't realize she was guitling me for resting. I am glad she finally get's it.
Rest is actually so important. Personally, meditation helps but honestly, it's not nearly enough on its own. I think the constant stimulation makes it harder to meditate effectively. You really got me thinking about taking a road trip and just getting the hell away from everything for a second.
Wow. When you started naming the things that add to our exhaustion, it gave me great context for why I feel so constantly drained. There are so many things that I’m not conscious to that are draining me. I love this video.
Can relate💯tired of working hard , super exhausted Chile I'm so done ..I had/ have many of these unhealthy unloving beliefs of worth etc doing the self love, healing work now🌟 pouring from the saucer, the overflow💯💜
WoW! such a healing message. All we've bought by society is hustle, work hard, and go-go-go. It's nice to hear a message that encourages rest. Thank you for this. Switching my perspective.
Oh, I like these details: making things as easy for myself as possible! yes. Doing as little as possible! yes. so great to start reversing those destructive ways of thinking.
I cant believe the timing of me finding your channel. I recently gave up the corporate/ hustle culture matrix mindset and completely did a 180. I was literally killing myself and NOBODY cared but I chose to- had to snap out of it & I feel so much better!! Its completely life changing when the switch flips & you finally SEE
As a member of the over achieving fan club you have spoken to my heart! It was instilled in me to be the best of the best or I wasn’t worthy of love and I’m just unpacking that trauma in my 30s! And trying my best not to put that pressure on my own child
I'm with you. I'm tired of working hard to get to another level where I need to work harder as well as smarter. Hustle culture is over rated and I'm over it.
It's over rated!!! Yes!!! It's not healthy, not helpful and it's literally destroying us.
GLORY..! To the God of my salvation that supply ALL of my need... And, have given me ALL things pertaining to life and GODliness. 📖
Many of people have gave majority of their energy and time to working. They reach a good retirement don’t live long after. Such loss of energy, life and family bonding lost to the security of money in senior age. I want to see changes in how the work place handle employees with children and family time. More time off through the year is a very healthy step to happy employees. I would like to employer’s embrace the idea of 4 10 hour work days and give the employees 3 days off. Friday-Sunday or Saturday-Mondays.
On top of that our job doesn’t gaf about us or our family.. I realized this over time and when they fired me over something dumb.. I used to break my back for those people missing out on time with my kids. It wasn’t worth it . AT ALL. BE SELFISH .. take care of yourself . Politely say no
"I have nothing to show from working hard except exhaustion, deferred dreams, and illness in my body. I am exhausted and burnt out from working hard."
This is gold!
Yes
AMEN!
So I'm a teacher in Europe and one of the things you said really stuck out. We don't celebrate people who get C's in America. I found that so profound because where I live parents literally pay me for their children to just pass. (By the way passing in this country is a 50% or higher. You literally have to just be average to make it.) It's funny because in the beginning, I was pushing my students to get A's and B's. I would give them little incentives if they made the grade and scold them if they didn't. Yet, the parents were all like, "no, I just need my child to pass." In fact one mom today was so happy because her son made a D-. I have been beating my head in to try to get at least a B and his mom congratulated me for the D-. Funny thing is this kid will go to university in two years, get a job and no one will care that he didn't get an A. The sad truth is that I've been stressed and work myself to death for them and I would have gotten paid the same whether he got an A or a F. Even more telling is the fact that in this culture people are way happier and are actually the second longest living culture in the world. I didn't get it until I heard this. 💡 moment!
I’ve always heard people say “work twice as hard to get half of what they have” I REFUSE to live by this mantra in my life. Idgaf if it’s a self imposed incantation or the truth, I will not inherently devalue myself like that out the gate regardless of what others are doing. I’m HUMAN. I deserve REST and LIESURE.
Yeeeeeeeeeees!!! Thank you so much for sharing this! Much love and joy to you!
i was doing too much at work and paid the price. now i don't volunteer for NOTHING. i do the basics and keep it moving so i have time for myself: rest, spas, yoga, camping, photography. sometimes my old self creeps in and wants to do a whole lot, and i tell her gently no love we on a different path now.
Exactly and they would replace us in a few days if we die. efF those people they don’t care about us. They care only about the money we make them. I’m so glad you are pouring into yourself I love this for you ❤
When I was younger, I had to correct a woman who declared naps as being decadent. Resting when tired is normal. Every other creature on the planet rests. When we stop treating ourselves as commodities instead of precious beings we will treat ourselves better.
Thiiiiiiiiis!!!! I love that so much. Thank you for telling her that. You may have freed her, too. And yeeeeeeeeeees! Stop treating ourselves like COMMODITIES!!!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I get you there. It's always been "you're so intelligent" or "you're so good at this or that, why don't you just overwork yourself everyday like we do?" And for what? A lifestyle I don't need or want, rarely being able to chill out or enjoy myself? No thanks.
As BW we have to unlearn so much. Like we have to work twice as hard as others to compete. These sayings have led us to bondage.
But if we dont do this what will we achieve? The system is against us ?
I rested for three months straight after getting laid off from my “dream job” that only turned out to be completely exhausting. Fortunately I got severance pay which allowed me to take this break. I literally did NOTHING. I rested, ate healthy, worked out when my body allowed, and reconsidered what was important to me. When I tell you this was THE BEST time OF MY LIFE. I no longer dedicate myself to anything that doesn’t serve me. Rest is actually my number one priority. My family and friends make fun of me but I don’t care. Lol. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. ❤️
Since 2012, I have not wanted to work because it interferes with the hours of the day that I am at my best between 04:30 and 14:00. Walking, yoga class, journaling , and swimming take me to 12:00 pm . After 5pm my mind and body want to hit a Steam room to rest. I am 65 finalizing my process to move from the USA to Thailand. Sending Divine Light and loving kindnesses. Thanking you for sounding the wake up call we need to hear. Iris
❤️❤️❤️
blessings and love to you
Thailand isnt suitable.
Love this! These are goals for how I want to structure my day.
Good luck with your move.
@@alecgurney9305 Why is it that ?
YES, this is so true. I am so tired of having to explain why I do not want to overwork myself to people. If I am not slaving with a heart almost about to burst while at work or anything, people assume and say I am lazy. What a f*$% up way our society thinks. I've taken control of my own life and I want to rest as much as I can. My mother worked her A%$ off, none stop. By the time she believed she'd be able to finally rest at 65 years with retirement benefits... she passed away from cancer after only 4 months of getting her benefits. That is insane and so sad. I felt so sad... that she never got a chance to rest in her entire life. -cries- I am determined to get my rest and relaxation as much as possible. Also accomplish my different dreams, but I won't rush at all. Hugs you tight. Thank you for this message Alecia. :D 😍😁
😔 I’m sorry about your mom 🤍
yes sis prioritize that rest blessings to you
So sorry for your loss and respect your story such a lesson from your mother who was your blessing
@@Turtle12o992 no in @0
@@angelabynum5811 pardon me?
Growing up my mom would wake me up early on the weekends. If I woke up at 9am I would be told Im up late. She slaved in her marriage for so long and thought that was normal. She was always on her feet cooking and tending to me and my siblings 247. At one point even having two jobs and working double shifts. While my dad didnt work nearly as hard as her. He stayed unemployed for a long time. Refused to babysit or help around the house but would always insult and control her. Now as an adult I dont kill myself at all. I sleep as long as I want to sleep. And I have a job that I work from home. When I dont want to cook I order out. And Im raising my two kids in peace!!!!!
He11 with men. Vibrator got me
@@ghostride3093 Exactly💞💞
@@ghostride3093 exactly my vibrator or fingers work just fine
@@saramatthews7159 💗💗💗Thats the best way because most men arent worth it!!!!!
@@Lovely_Diva lol so true
I pray this video gets 10 million views, such excellent content. Give from your overflow. I stopped depleting myself, now I'm on the mend. I give myself 12 months to totally recalibrate myself. My journey started 8 years ago, just got divorced 11 months ago. Now the next phase is moving forward with rest.
Gosh love this ..I remember doing that when I divorced. The first thing came to my mind was I can't wait to sleep. I slept my first night by myself in my new apt and was like wow I am exhausted.
Much love to you both!!! This is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Thank you so much for sharing this with me, with all of us! 💛🌻🌺 I'm so glad y'all chose yourselves and also chose to REST! I'm praying for healing, Holistic rest and JOY above all else. Y'all DESERVE.
That's so generous!!! Thank you so much! 💛💛💛
100 million👸🏿💝🤗🤸🏾♀️
Wow! this video felt SO aligned with where I'm at. I moved countries and I decided to rest for nearly an entire year. I didn't work and lived off savings and I was still for a while, no social media and looked at my habits and routines. I did a lot of personal development and reassessing of my life and it was the hardest, but most mentally and spiritually rewarding time I've ever had yet. It was hard to share with others because they couldn't really understand but I knew it was the best decision for me and I'm proud that I allowed myself to truly and intentionally rest. Thank you for posting this video, this message is so so important!
I wish I could give this 10 thumbs up!
I'm resting right now watching this in bed
Yeeeeeeeeeees Ashley!!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH 🌺💛☺️ Rest on!
@@AleciaRenece 🥰❤️❤️❤️
Same here
I'm resting now, having lower back pain and Secatica and I still feel like I should be doing.
Yes! Thank you. Capitalist America seems to always have a solution. This insinuates they know the problem so they generate more problems so we can buy their solutions. It's an endless cycle. We put things that should just be normal (self care, self love, REST, and etc) on a pedestal because we are constantly stripped of these things in the society we live in...
Yes!!! Precisely!!! It's literally supply and demand. It's so evil, to me. You rob people of rest and then sell "rest" back to them. Ugh!
Big Facts‼️💯 We live in Great Mystery Babylon
@@AleciaRenece Bingo! For a while, I started to spend alot of money taking cruises and traveling, then a light bulb hit me out of nowhere and I realized that instead of spending so much money on vacationing, I could save that money and create a stress-free life permanently, instead of going back to a stressful job that I hate. I'm saving money now and have found a way to soon escape the matrix and horrific cycle and I'm determined to reach my goal.
Sis, I need this in writing to meditate on. Speaking to my soul on so many level. Love it! Claiming the label of "Former Exhausted Black Woman"
Go you❤❤
I second this!
Black women work harder, because some of us are quick to trap ourselves with children, without support and resources. I am 37 years old with no children and it's hard enough without kids and a husband, why would I want to give myself even MORE responsibilities and stress? I don't understand how my mom and grandma did it. I'm like were ya'll THAT bored that you chose to have kids and bring them into this screwed up, work obsessed, stressful, racist world? I don't get it and never did, which is why I'm childfree and looking to also be job free, with my own sustainable business and less bills. Sometimes as black women we make it harder on ourselves.
i feel the same way, that's one reason i chose not to have children because i intuitively knew their responsibilities would be too much for me--i wanted to give myself the freedom to just parent/take care of myself
Amen. I am reading this while exhausted. I am waiting for my therapist (who is late for the paid call), while doing laundry, while writing a proposal for my small business, while barely staying awake. I have zero children and at work everyone has children and treats me as if my life is incomplete without children. I don't want any children, I am tired already.
Lol im also 37 childfree and single and feel the same way you do. I don't know why and see how black women take on all of this responsibility of motherhood. It looks exhausting and i would never want to force a child into this disgusting world.
@@inspiredbykindness4699 i hear you, at work, some folks look at me strange too, but many are jealous/envious too so send them blessings and keep it moving, i actually think some folks regret having kids even though thats taboo to admit in our culture
@@monharris28 Amen, thank you for the different outlook on my situation.
Words. Your words. I have been on this journey for 5 years now. Resting. It has taken years for me to stop feeling guilty for resting. I have completely disconnected from the rat trace. I have been fought consistantly because I have chosen this life of self care for myself. People are violently angry with me because of my self care practices. Which makes me lean into it more. This is the work. I watched my mom work herself to death. There is no award for the martyr and even if their were, I don't want it. I came here to elevate my spiritual being and this world keeps us on the hampster wheel so that we can't do the work we came to do. Hear, hear sis! I am not tired either. I live life for deeper levels of self care and yes rest is just the beginning.
i can relate on feeling guilty for resting--i still have bouts of that, i hope it gets better with time
I've come to a point in my life now where I'm actually working towards early retirement. I'm hoping to retire early by 35 with disposable income...
I have a job right now that I'm comfortable with that I have no intention of moving up in ranks. I dont want to be a manager of any sort, I just want to remain where I am until I can retire. Lots of people look at it as lazy, but I'm just exhausted...
Why IS exhaustion celebrated and not calm and peace?? This video resonated with me with a loud bang!! I was working two jobs for two years and not only was my sleep affected but my mental health. I gave up that rat race and glad I did! Thanks for this video!❤️
Everything you’re saying, I keep thinking about Beyoncé for some reason. I wouldn’t be considered a beehive member, but I like her music, but I’m thinking of how she’s always praised for “working so hard” “she’s the hardest working woman in show biz”, but the white girls get more money for mediocre work( performances, albums, abilities, etc.) I wonder if Beyoncé does therapy and does this topic come up 🤔
This video really spoke to me. I lived a long adulthood of hustle. Someone came into my life almost 5 years ago and introduced this thing called “rest” lmao. It was so foreign to me that I began to reject him and my brain processed his actions as stunting my growth. I slowly allowed myself to actually do this thing called rest 2 years ago with him and I can’t lie, I still struggle with this. I feel like Im supposed to be doing something exhausting, not drinking tea and reading a book or exploring hobbies everyday. There is a lot of unlearning I need to do because allowing myself to rest has expedited my growth more than any hard labor I have ever done in the past. My military experience, college degrees, careers and businesses cannot even light a match to the experience of how rest made me the woman I am today.
Yes. First thing I did was sleep. Then nap. Then sat around quiet. Then slept again. I did this for years after I retired early.
I made a conscious decision to stop all of the busy work I’ve been doing. Telling family members “no” has been an experience. They ask me why I can’t help and I simply say I’m resting. People will leave you depleted IF you let them.
I can't stress enough how much I love this space. First, I read this book called Essentialism by Greg McKeown, without going into too much detail the gist of it is, making the things you do purposeful, not saying yes to everything and carving out time to do the things you actually love with the ones you love. I think you would love this book. second...I have a friend, who's younger, we met at work, and I feel like she feels as if she always has to "feel busy" and fill up her everyday, and her weekends with just, doing stuff. because that's what her age group and culture says she should be doing. I disagree. I'm in my 40's and when I don't want to do something, I won't. I say no. I've left social media, I don't do many brunches, because I refuse to commit to shelling out $50-60 bucks on non-essential meetings just to say, Oh I had lunch/bunch/linner/dinner with (fill in the blank) Doing it for the gram, Nahh I'm good. When I want to get up at noon on a Saturday, I will. When I don't want to fulfil my weekend expectations and just relax, I will. I no longer feel the need to commit to other people "needing me" when it's never about me, it's always about them. My friend is exhausted from life and she's only 29, and I say it's because you fill up your space/time/selfcare with nothingness. Alecia, please don't stop spreading this message amongst BW. We need this commentary in our lives. We don't have to be to others disposal. BW owe it to themselves to be the best they can be for them!
I’m rocking w this. As a recovering workaholic working 125 hours a week putting everyone first this is well needed. Leaving after a recent promotion to only working 15-20 hours a week. Had no idea how much I owed myself. I’m a black man but this video still resonates w me and is helping my healing now. I nap to this . Good content 👍
This!!! This!!! This!!! All THIS!!! Thank you so much for choosing yourself and sharing your journey with us. I felt all of that....literally. We are worthy 🌻
Yeeeeeeeeeees!!! We are WORTHY!!! 🥹🤗🌻🌺
I have worked so hard and supported so many that I almost died. I am slowly healing and tending to myself. I truly thought exhaustion was normal. No more!
"Benefiting off the labor and exhaustion of others" 💯 . . . . The answer is REST ❤️❤️❤️
Trust me..I've been through a lot over the years and I've reached a point where I'm mentally done. Rest has really helped and a stroll through the park being at one with nature.
Getting lots of sun is great for your health!
I really do enjoy it,lot of facts, the hustle culture is killing us
hustler culture is so bad for us
Hey Beauty, I absolutely resonate with this, I'm leaving for vacation in 30 days, just to rest, and my director of nursing is big jealous...32 yr old Filipino girl, with no life skills, little does she Kno I'll be gone for a month in February 😎, Rest is the boss of Denise, my Grandmother worked herself sick in a early grave, and before she died she made me promise that I wouldn't work hard, being a single black mom raising 2 kids alone with absolutely no help, I couldn't do nothing else but work hard,....now that I'm 61 and my kids and grandkids are grown, i have completely fallen back ...m
Rest is the Boss of me🕶️😊😎, Thank u for speaking and teaching this resonate with my soul. @Stephanie Perry, @Picky girl travels the world
@Roshida Dough, I listen to them, and I am a proud member of Exodus Summit,
Peace and blessings 😊😎😊☀️
Three things that BW had stripped away from them and that I wish BW would start implementing into their life are REST, SELF-CARE, and PLEASURE. We've been taught to put everyone in front and above us. We've been taught that pleasure is a perk and not a benefit or our natural birth right. We've been taught to live in the sacrificial seat which leads to exhaustion, stress, and so many health problems. Ladies..it's time to put yourself FIRST. 🌹
Yeeeeeeeeeees! ALL of this. Pleasure is definitely a part we forget. Thank you so much for this reminder. 💛
Exactly and what alot of black women fail to realize is that alot of the health issues we struggle with could be completely prevented, if we would just REST and change our life styles.
👍🙏😘🙏 PRAISE GOD 🙌!!! I FOUND THIS AMAZING CHANNEL ☺...THIS BEAUTIFUL QUEEN 👑 IS SPEAKING GENUINE FACTS...AMEN!!! 🙏😇🙏
yas!
We’re expect to live a subpar existence and are demonised when we say no to this
As a BW this video and the comments section resonates with me so much … I’m in the Govt sector and ppl want me to move up the corporate ladder because of my work performance.. My thought 💭 No thank you I’ll just continue to get my raise increases x year and do the same work I honestly don’t mind my final pay scale being close to 80k I can live with that 🤷🏽♀️
You are literally saving lives queen. I've been battling cancer for years and never gave myself permission to rest. Your message has freed me. May blessings always find you 💛
My exhaustion was due to me leaving everything on the job… and not having even the strength to get out of the car after a long work day… I literally walked away…
I've had to explain why I wanted to rest so many times, which in itself is exhausting. I've also noticed that Black Women are always expected to be "on" at home, at work, socially...which is unfair and not realistic. I have shifted and am realizing it has NOT been a badge of honor to not have hard stops at work, set boundaries, or be exhausted for the sake of your job, socially, in families, or with your partner/kids. I want to honor myself first (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) so that I am not constantly sacrificing my health/joy for others. Thank you for sharing this! 💛
New subscriber.......such an important topic. Lack of rest is detrimental to our bodies.....hormonal imbalance, weight gain, stress, depression 😢
I to as your other followers state would be frowned upon for taking time to rest and to heal my mind, my soul my spirit… my baby sister used to tell me why are you always sleeping because it is as important as exercising… yes we work till we die… Ince when my daughter and I decided to just get quiet and rest my entire immediate family thought as though we weren’t speaking with them and that was not the issue. We had back to back death 3 generations wiped out just like that. My Aunt then her last living son and then her grandson… I was exhausted talking to my cousin who was the last child of my deceased Aunt and then her son was killed.. I had to rest… It is true as you notate in this piece, depression, anxiousness, grief all brushed aside and you are supposed to carry on instead of healing
I am a professional rester. I love this movement
Not me🤣 I lie and pretend I’m exhausted, tired, overwhelmed and overworked. Meanwhile, I just enjoy being alone, relaxing eating CBD gummies and sleeping. I eat in my car, dodge all humans and always say no😜 I work temp jobs a few months then relax a few months. Imma pop a gummy now🥰🧚🏾♀️
Im single, childfree and lead a minimalist lifestyle and thinking about quitting my job and working temp jobs for some months then resting the other months.
Love your life Sharon keep up the good rest
@@saramatthews7159 I’m married, we have only one child, I work at a school district and spend my weekends doing whatever I want. Nothing beats laying in my hammock reading all day or simply staring into space.
THIS....all of it! Bless you for this posting because resting is a struggle that I have been battling for over a year. I associated resting with laziness/lacking because that is what I was taught. Again love this! Be safe on your travels and stay bless!
Exactly so. In the Carribbean its that way too. And everytime i lay down my mind says thats too much. Moving away from that thought now a days. My Pastor gave a message on the topic.." The Rythym of rest" I need to go back and listen to that again.
@@exquisitecaribbeanqueen7198 Hmm I have not heard of that and my husband and parents are born in Jamaica. That sounds awful to be honest (referring to the laziness).
I do believe we (bw) work hard to prove ourselves to others and that needs to stop. In the UK, it's always a battle between bw and wm with fashion, salary, hair etc. I've noticed this, but it's up to the person if they want to put themselves through that torture. We choose our paths. We shouldn't let society decide for us. But that's my 2 cents 😅. I'm a rebel and follow no one. 🤭
That said I now need to watch the video. I literally jumped straight to the comments. 😅
you said -“i associated resting with laziness” - that whole part…welcome to the awakening the universe is manifesting…let’s teach our daughters before it’s too late…
@@exquisitecaribbeanqueen7198agreed…
I learned that I have to rest deeeeeppply. I don't care if they say that I am lazy.
We're exhausted because we want to work/slave away at what we don't want.
Work for money, pay bills get 4 degrees. No am not doing that
Every word 💯❤️ Thank you.
I stopped working this year to focus on learning how to get really good at my basic self care: nutrition, sleep, hair, skin, & nail care, self acceptance. I may have to forego some luxuries, but I honestly didn’t have the time to enjoy them before anyway. I couldn’t agree with you more that rest is the foundation of joy. Stewardship comes before giving ~catholic priest I used to talk to.
Being rough and unkind to ourself- always rushing! Thank you for this video! I will not die exhausted- this is NOT the way !👏🏾
The TITLE 👍🏾
Thank you so much! ☺️💛🌺 I hope you enjoy the video! 🌻 Take rest!
REST!
1. The foundation of this country was built on the backs of ENSLAVED AND INDIGENOUS people where we had to be exhausted for this country to thrive
2. We have been conditioned to normalize and celebrate being exhausted
3. We are always checking our phones, putting ourselves in places where we don’t feel safe and always giving
4. We have been taught that in order to be successful human- beings exhaustion is the price we have to pay. So we sacrifice our joy, health and mental fortitude to see this country succeed when this country doesn’t care about us
5. The “system” takes and takes but gives little back to the people who give into the system (no wonder people are anxious and depressed)
6. Interesting…how the people at the top who are benefiting from people being exhausted are NOT tired. They are on vacations, yachts and planes. They are going and doing whatever they want because they are the BENEFICIARIES of the exhausted people’s labor…We are not addressing this problem
7. OPT OUT the choke hold of hustle culture
8. Stop being “ALL IN” and betraying our bodies
9. COMMIT TO SELF AND ALIGN WITH SELF
10. REST...Do the bare minimum to still make an impact.
11. GIVE FROM THE OVERFLOW not the cup itself.
Well said my sistah!
Yeeeeeeeeeees! Thank you so much for BEAUTIFULLY summarizing this for all of us! This is helpful for even me! Much love and joy to you!!! 🌻☺️🌺💛
@@AleciaRenece No... THANK YOU for bring all of this to light. Blessings!
I refuse to get tired and worn out just for the appeasement of others.
I rest, I lounge and i chill… frequently!
♥️👸🏻♥️
Y’all pray for me . Cuz I work for a company that really don’t care about me whatsoever . Praying I find a better job fr . It’s becoming so overwhelming when I want so much more for myself and I want to be able to just breathe and reset .
I'm definitely praying for you now! I believe something better is coming. *BIG HUGS* You deserve rest, deep breaths and long pauses to reset. Much love and joy to you, Beautiful.
Giirrrrlll, preach why don’t you! I’m on vacay and am still beating myself up with the “shoulds”; I should do this, I should do that… Phew, chile! You said a mouthful!
I completely understand that feeling. It's so difficult for me to truly rest without guilt or shame around what I could be doing. But we are here not to be productive, but to enjoy this beautiful life we've been gifted with. 💛🌺
I am so happy I found your channel.As black women, many of us don’t have someone to have these conversations with.When I bring things like this up, I’m looked at as unappreciative or lazy or not a “hustler”…but that isn’t my goals.my goals are to help people with my business and create the reality of my dreams.I find comfort in being in nature and music.And now you and your videos💚
I am a black woman as well, and I felt this video. I got enough sleep but it was still hard for me to work. I was mentally exhausted. It happens to me a few times over two or three weeks. I also struggle with a few periods of depression regularly every few days or so. A lot of the depression seems to be caused from a deep, painful, unhealed void in my soul from emotional trauma. I feel some of my exhaustion comes from being forced to work each day while that void exists and continues to eat at me inside.
I feel this in the pit of my soul. I recently moved (which is already exhausting), then I had to immediately work on getting utilities turned on and set the security up and making sure the washer, stove and shower are working properly. I gave myself permission to not rush to unpack boxes. I set a 1 box a day goal, but some days I don't even touch a box. I have no problem opening a box to get something I need, but other than that I have allowed myself to take my time unpacking. It will get done eventually. Like yourself rest has become a big part of my self love journey. When I work, I work hard...now I'm learning to rest just as hard.
Hopefully will be my problem soon.
Gems 💎!! I'm resting in the present version of myself. I've worked so hard for this moment and I'm going to relish in the fruits of my labor 🙌🏾!
You deserve!!! 💛🤗🌺🌻 Much love and joy to you!
Interesting topic. I’ve never adhered to pushing myself.. or going all in. I simply cannot function like that. My mental health would decline terribly
You are speaking to me. Let me put this phone down and take more naps for the rest of the month.
gurl that bed calling you
"People really believe that black women have to die exhausted."
No. No, they don't.
the way that society works and depends on Black women... and how this country was formed, I promise they do. It's sad, but they do.
@@AleciaRenece Serious lol, I'm just supposed to take your word for it, huh? No argument, no evidence...
@@Jianju69 Evidence? Boy have you ever picked up and actually READ an American History book?
@@karenmassey8354 What does history have to do with it? Slavery? Black people have enslaved white people as well. Life went on.
@@Jianju69 talk to some black women and youll get the empirical evidence lol
You don’t understand how much these videos give me hope and life. I watched my parents slave until their hair was grey just to make ends meet. No matter how hard they worked, it was never enough and they were constantly exhausted. I knew from being a child that wasn’t the life I wanted. I was working two jobs last year and I fell sick three times. My body was completely drained. I know I have my make myself my number one priority. I see my youth well into my 30s -40s. Thank you for this video ♥️
I love this "Honor yourself". Gosh I could relate to so many things you were speaking on. After watching one of Stephanie's videos, I decided to remove the words hustle and grind from my vocabulary. Yes, I believe in working, however, there should be limits to how much we give of our ourselves to anyone period.
So glad I saw Stephanie's video about ditching black excellence because she recommended your videos. Thank you for sharing your journey. I seriously needed this at this very moment. Thank you!
I'm so glad this spoke to you! 🤗🌺💛 Stephanie is such a goal! Doing as little as possible, all of it. It is my joy to share! Much love and joy to you!
I remember during the early stages of the pandemic, after I had quit my job. For a whole week, my body was so exhausted and I legit would sleep for the whole day to the point that I thought something was wrong. But it was just exhaustion
Wow. I tried to explain this to women I know and I got blank stares. You put it so perfectly, thank you🙏🏾
Yes!!! Talk to yaself as a child.. I’ve been doing this for 10 months bc I recognized and admitted that IM TIRED!!! and I’ve been thanking myself for making that shift. And now the child ideas/ businesses I had when young…are coming to the front and I since I’ve slowed down on the hustle I start embarking on those ideas… I hope that made sense n can help someone
I needed this advice more than anyone I know. My daughter forwarded this to me. Now, I can start really enjoying life instead of marching to the beat of an insane culture of exhaustion. Thank you! Thank you!
There are so many good things you said in this video that I could definitely relate to! Like you, I was taught from a young age about having to excel. My program at school was SPACE - Special Program for Academic and Creative Excellence which had many more that followed with their special acronyms throughout school. I agree others, if given the same attention and care could also do what we were being taught to do. Now at 51 I finally realize that I am exhausted and accepting that I need rest. Thank you for sharing all of this!
Not a bw but I’m a mom and I’m BURNT OUT 😵💫😵💫😵💫 constantly tired, constantly sleepy until it’s time to sleep lol also , don’t break your back for a job that will replace you if you die tomorrow. BE SELFISH, learn to say no and pour into yourself because that job doesn’t care about you . It wasn’t worth it for me AT ALL
Yes, this is the capitalism culture. In our original cultures, it was more communal and we didn't work to death. There were a lot of celebrations, rituals that gave life energy, and even when we did do our work and teachings in the temples, we had several healers. Everyone used their natural gifts and that in itself was energy-giving. Everyone played a part in society so you didn't have to do everything by yourself. And there were plenty of gatherings and conversations. People weren't working until exhaustion, but everyone had an integral role to make society a little bit easier for everyone else.
Thank you for this message Queen. Much needed message. I'm over the idea of Black excellence movement, I'm tired of the American dreams culture, I just want to rest
Great video . Much needed.
Blk women need to take rest most serious because lack of rest is rooted in illness, misery etc. BW must learn to set the boundaries of protecting their rest and learning to say No , when thing are too much.
The hustle culture will send blk women to an early grave. I was 27 when I had to leave the work force and apply for disability. With in one year I had 72 doctors appointments. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I had been working since I was 14 , put myself through undergrad, cancer survivor, had nothing to show for my accomplishments but debt, illness, near homelessness, food insecurities.
Yet , I’m expected to show up at work ready to take care of everyone’s demands.
I lost my job when I was hospitalized for a week. Due to pancreatitis. And written up when I took a week off for a surgery I planned before I was hired for one job. The same quality of life other groups of women have, blk women are give the same regard for bw quality of life.
I agree with you 100 percent ❤❤❤❤❤
I'm glad I found your page Sis! I want to start speaking on similar topics. This is where I'm at on my healing journey! I just want a simply life that allow me to be creative & simply BE!!!
Thank You for giving the Ministry of Rest and Relaxation 🙏🏾
Wow! You are saying everything I feel. I’m so exhausted I’m not sure where I’m headed. I could go on and on about this 9-5 world where people are tired stressed and depressed. I can’t do it anymore 😢
Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder. I so appreciate your time to organize and plan your sharing and still allowing Spirit to channel through. This has been a large part of my 5 year journey. The most simple and healing practice. Rest. Sleep. Go as slow as the slowest part of you needs to. You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to have a breakthrough 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
As a black woman, I feel guilty if I actually rest 🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🥺🥺
You are not alone. Seriously. It may take some work to work through these blocks, but it's so worth it! 💛🤗🌻 It'll probably hard at first, but the more we practice, the easier it gets.
@@AleciaRenece 🙏🏾
Same I can't even say "let me nap" without feeling guilty so I never nap
I’m SO there and been here since 2011 so I praise you and I hear you and I see you🥰💛☀️
I “retired” at age 42 and have never looked back… of course I’ve created more and peacefully maintained my life but it’s been soft and NOW I’m sober and soft getting plenty of rest…I commend you for making or contributing to those that make this a whole a** movement and platform #Salute
If I’m tired I’m tired I’m not rushing life for anyone. Good luck on your healing journey.
Being neurodivergent adds a whole nother level of exhaustion to the mix! As a Black woman diagnosed with ADHD last year, I can tell you that the toxic work culture had me pushing myself to perform in ways that were counterintuitive to my mental health and well-being. After achieving company set goals, I’d often find myself exhausted and still unfulfilled. The final straw was when I developed IBS-like symptoms and was forced to quit soon after promoting.
It’s bullshit that Black women are constantly doing all the heavy lifting in these ⚪️spaces and receive a whole lot of nothing in return … like applauses and handshakes will make up for all the harm done from their intentional neglect of our basic human needs or thé co-opting of our techniques and methods to achieve said success, claiming ‘company property’
I still struggle with rest, but it’s getting easier and better the more I practice it! I hope we all make it to space where sleep is less of a controversial act and more of a protected human right✊🏾💯
I took the year after my child graduated and took a deep rest. At first it was really hard bc it felt wrong but slowly, as I realized how tired I actually was, I began to appreciate it. Now I’m rejuvenated and feeling great. It was so worth it
Wow this is everything I needed to hear ! My exact thoughts put into worlds ! Well said !
Exactly it such a dangerous path to continue down. My daughter went from watching me work tirelessly for 3 years and one day I stopped. She didn't realize she was guitling me for resting. I am glad she finally get's it.
Rest is actually so important. Personally, meditation helps but honestly, it's not nearly enough on its own. I think the constant stimulation makes it harder to meditate effectively.
You really got me thinking about taking a road trip and just getting the hell away from everything for a second.
Yeeeeeeeeeees!!! Please do it 💛💛💛 I love that so much.
Wow. When you started naming the things that add to our exhaustion, it gave me great context for why I feel so constantly drained. There are so many things that I’m not conscious to that are draining me. I love this video.
Can relate💯tired of working hard , super exhausted Chile I'm so done ..I had/ have many of these unhealthy unloving beliefs of worth etc doing the self love, healing work now🌟 pouring from the saucer, the overflow💯💜
Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.🌹 🙏🏾🕊️
But facts
WoW! such a healing message. All we've bought by society is hustle, work hard, and go-go-go. It's nice to hear a message that encourages rest. Thank you for this. Switching my perspective.
Yesss… I AM HERE FOR THE VIBES!!! Thank YOU FOR THE CONFORMATION SIS🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙌🏽💕✨💋
You are so welcome! I'm so glethis confirmed what your spirit already knew. Much love and joy to you! 🤗🌺💛
I had an ex that used to say, “You sleep SO much.” That used to make me feel so bad.
Oh, I like these details: making things as easy for myself as possible! yes. Doing as little as possible! yes. so great to start reversing those destructive ways of thinking.
I cant believe the timing of me finding your channel. I recently gave up the corporate/ hustle culture matrix mindset and completely did a 180. I was literally killing myself and NOBODY cared but I chose to- had to snap out of it & I feel so much better!! Its completely life changing when the switch flips & you finally SEE
As a member of the over achieving fan club you have spoken to my heart! It was instilled in me to be the best of the best or I wasn’t worthy of love and I’m just unpacking that trauma in my 30s! And trying my best not to put that pressure on my own child
You definitely dropped Alot of gems 💎💎💎 on this one 💯
I'm so glad! I'm grateful! 🌺🌻
This is so good! I'm taking notes. I feel like I always have to catch up. I'm exhausted.
Thank you for this powerful & truthful msg
I know this message wasn’t for me but it’s such a beautiful message ❤thank you for being awesome
(I’m a Hispanic woman)
What a journey you are on! This reminds me of that saying work smarter not harder.
Yeeeeeeeeeees! Working smarter is definitely the goal! 💛🌺🌻
Thank you 🙏 there are times I feel that I haven’t really breathed for years
Hustling, grinding and running yourself ragged has mercifully become passe