@@cierraslowsdown its amazing. I've been reading it since @amapolavioleta recommended it and not only has it been a healing experience, but it's been an enlightening one too. I think by the time I'm done with it, I'll be able to begin to forgive my parents for their shortcomings.
days ago i was crying because i heard my mom and aunt comparing me to my brother and i was so heartbroken because it seems like they don't acknowledge the things I've done since i got a job. I was crying so much that something inside of me said "Just reparent yourself" and after hearing, the pain gets deeper so i was sobbing because "why would i fucking reparent myself? if only my parents know how to properly took care of us. If only they know how to be good parents when I was a kid, If only I didn't exist in this world." That were the things I thought. Being an adult having traumas in this noisy and messy world is very difficult but we really NEED to stand up for ourselves and have compassion to our inner child because our future self will be thankful for it. It's hard but we will get through this!
Hey Moonchild, i feel sorry for you. I hope you can get through this, but I am sure you will. Keep going, no matter how bad things might get. Be grateful for all things. Enjoy the beauty of nature. Do stuff you always wanted to try. ✨🙌🤝
It helps to remember that our parents are hurt children themselves and we have something they didn't, the unlimited resources we have free to access such information and help ourselves. My father is dead, I had to forgive him without hearing an I'm sorry. My mother may never say the words I would like to hear. She's a classic narcissist. So I'm extremely grateful for these videos. I've come a long way because of them.
I understand that inner pain. I was compared to my brother as well, while the my struggles and good qualities were ignored. It takes time to heal and get stronger. Sending prayers your way, and you are right. You will get through this.
I will say continuing to heal my inner child is changing who I am as an adult everytime ✨. Totally worth it keep going, go outside and play, buy the toys/clothes you wanted as a child/teen, if you have kids or work with kids tap into your inner child and color on the floor with them it's really a great way to heal.
This is great! Aside from playing with kids, I have gone whole hog on letting myself be the child/teen/young adult I wanted to be. I listen to my favorite music, bought myself those boots I always wanted, and wear as much black eyeliner as I darn well please!
I think the idea of the "inner child" is real and strong. Growing up, I realized that I had several internal children, each with their own ache, battles and unresolved matters. As I grew up, I understood that I had to show myself love and kindness, taking care of the little hurt child within me, which has been a hard but rewarding experience 💜
Yeah, I also have some catching up to do with my inner child. If I could tell something to my 7 year old self, maybe I'd start with "My boy, they... They just don't understand." Also, yikes! Sorry you had just been contacted by a spam bot. It sucks, happened once to me.
@@CinzaChumbo That's so true! It's so important to be sure we're taking care of our inner child. We need to be gentle and understanding with ourselves, and also recognize that it's not always our fault and we just need to accept that 💕 And yes, spam bots are the worst! I always make sure to report them.
"We are standing on their shoulders, and can only be as stable, as they are." It's really impressive how you managed to compress such a complex issue into such a eloquent solution, in just one sentence.
This really struck a sensitive chord. I have been through a lot. Lost both sides of the family due to endless conflicts with my parents. Lost loved ones. Leaving my inner child crying forever. The talking to my inner child finally started when I found a new home, and uncovered an old photo of me as a 2 year old. I said "I heared you wanted to go home for so long, how do you like this place?" The inner kid's tears finnally dried up. He even smiled. That aching feeling of 'I want to go home' while being in a place that you call 'home' was finally gone. As a younger kid I was obsessed with Notre Dame de Paris for some reason. So as a kid, I took a pen, paper and did a pretty good job at drawing Notre Dame, stone by stone. We all know what happened later on in april 2019. So after the spire fell down, I picked up drawing again. I've drawn all sides of Notre Dame de Paris, stone by stone. As good as I can. I've been working years on it. So looking at the end results, I took my inner child on my lap and told him; "This is for you. This is for all the adversity that you have been through. This is to let you know, that whatever you have been through, whatever the mistakes you've made, whatever the circumstance will be, I will always be there with you!" It really gives a sense of becoming full circle.
I've been though so much trauma as both a child and a teen that I couldn't bear to face for decades, but their unheard cries haunted me for decades. It's only now in my 40s that I can finally begin to face the horrors and comfort the children within.
It helped me to name my inner child. You could use a nickname that you had at that age, or the name your parents called you (as long as it was positive). Then you can speak to the child as your adult self, fully-knowing all the difficult things your precious baby self had to endure, and give them some love. Doing this really changed my life ❤
I'd tell her she matters, her feelings are valid. coming from a household where you were expected to pretend you don't exist, reparenting is extremely hard.
My inner child is an inner baby, screaming for attention. I ignored him for so long, shut him down with fury and I did it so efficiently that I had a breakdown. I treated my inner baby the way my parents had treated him. Embodiment work helped me find my baby, create a better environment for me to treat him with kindness. I also had to, at times violently, redefine the space for me to heal. Not violence against current people, but against the horrible conditioning. I'm 63 and still battling to give me the space I need to heal, but better that than the alternative!
Healing is work. And it isn't linear. But it is the best step. Tears are shed, anger is expressed and frustration escapes but it is better to heal than to kill.
@@inventoar7521 Look up Patrick Teahan (a therapist) here on YT, his channel covers literally everything from inner child to dealing with narcissist issues.
1 year of IFS therapy worked wonders for my Inner Child healing. It was very intense and I learned how to take care of him on my own now ♥️ Relationship with the Inner Child is the most beautiful one in my view. Inner Child brings many qualities such as wonder, curiosity and joy ♥️ If you think Inner Child doesn't exist think again. I did psychedelics prior to IFS therapy and saw my Inner Child crystal clear. So yeah it very much does exist.
To my inner child: Every time he comes home, remember this: He's got a lot of his own problems, and sometimes he runs out of the medicine he uses to fix his pain, his pain isn't your fault. He's not actually going to kill your dog, he's just going to threaten that because he's got no power over his own life and he's barely hanging on... You don't deserve it though, I wish I could hold you and comfort you as you lay awake crying for your dog. Also, Mom had done to her the night before, what she did to you all of those times..she's in a ton of pain and doesn't know what to do. She's not actually going to stab you, she'd never do that, but she's gonna threaten to do it - and it's not fair and thats really scary, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna help you through it now. I'm so sorry nobody was there for you in all of those absolutely terrifying moments, but we are gonna remember them together and relearn this world. It's not as horrible as they taught it to be. Reparenting is the only thing that seems to be working for me, after 2 decades of absolute misery in adulthood.
@@redrumax I've actually made more progress since this comment was written, than I have in 15 years of searching. Inner child work has been the answer for me.
Literally cried in front of this idea, it resonates so much in me and look exactly like what i needed. I've already had before a kind of this idea and i'm so happy to be able to dig deep inside. Thank you
I learned about this concept recently and Its really worked for me imagining all my former selves in their worst states and going back to comfort them, for example my Uncle hit me very hard, in the face when I was about 7 years old. He's a very big man and i had a pink spot on my eye for weeks to the point where my teacher asked if I was being abused, my mom was right there and didn't stop him. I didn't realize it was still affecting me. I imagined myself, the 30 year old woman I am now standing in front of my 7 year old self and stopping his hand before he hit me. The first time I imagined this I started crying uncontrollably and I felt a weight lifted almost immediately. So periodically I've been going back to remind all my former selves in there worst states that I'm here now as an older wiser person to protect them and I imagine myself hugging my 7 year old self my 5 year old self my 16 year old self even my self last year reminding them we can protect ourselves now and that its okay.
I have never felt safe nor at peace, so how am I supposed to heal my inner child when she’s still present in me? I was sexually molested by my mom’s cousin when I was 4 years old. He was way over 17 years old. My family never protected me and invalidated my trauma and emotions. He was the one that was protected and everyone kept shut, “cause boys will be boys”. He’s still my maternal’s family proud joy. Every thanksgiving, every Christmas, every Navidades, every birthdays, every time I went to my grandma’s and great grandmother’s house; I was forced to relieve it. Since I was a child I’ve dissociated and still self harm by picking at my skin and scabs until they bled. Most of the times I did it unknowingly. I was brought to the present moment when my fingers were covered in blood and I felt aching pain. I’m 22 years old now and with the diagnosis of CPTSD and BPD. Prior I was told it was Major Depressive Disorder and Chronic Anxiety, but it was deeper and heavier than that. I still suffer flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, I get triggered and still struggle to see why my life should continue. No doubt that such trauma and others at such a young age, altered and affected my brain chemistry. I will suffer the consequences of a monster’s actions for the rest of my life. I take medication and go to therapy but there’s just so much one can do to heal a broken soul and spirit. No one understands it
You can be the adult that your 4 year old self needed, standing between you and the offender. Offer them protection and hearing their needs. Even if it doesn't change the fact of the past, it can help you find what you needed. I hope you're able to protect yourself from this person now. 🫂
Yes... I heard this before from MV Summers, of being a loving parent to our mind. Meditation helps to become aware of what's really happening inside us...
"We are standing on their shoulders, and we can only be as stable as they are".. Wow, never heard it this way before. The saying: Build a foundation for your life, but if there was never a solid foundation to begin with because of outside forces and such, it makes starting adulthood heck hard.
I have grown up to now conclude I have duel personality: one that is me; genuine, loving, caring, responsible, creative, good, etc; and one that was conditioned to hate, fear, is self destructive, ignorant, grim, craven, stupid, insecure, etc, just like the coward who beat those latter traits into me when I was a kid. I'm learning that the more I learn about my past the less I know, therefore ignorance is the past that continues to plaque me. It has been difficult to let go, however I'm learning that every tiny new step forward is taking me further away from painful flashbacks, and that cannot be a bad thing.
My lonely feelings from being ill & jealousy from my elder sister are no one's fault. Our parents were just too busy juggling careers, a hobby farm & four children. It is not my fault our parents thought you were mature enough to mind us. She had told me she has apologised many times yet you didn't accept. When you say I had a happy childhood were you really looking at me or just thinking my existence was taking time away from you. I worshipped you & was punched & kicked out of bed by you. I am yet to heal. However after 67 years childhood memories are finally coming back. I need to deal with them so I can grow past SA & SH. One thing from drugs & counselling " it was not my fault. I didn't ask for it or go looking for it. I was four years old & he was your friends's father. He was the predator"
My parents and their lack of involvement or getting overly involved in some aspects was confusing and tiring. You never knew from day to day what their mood was or what a reaction may be. Love was conditional and rather hard to find. I grew up in a nice home, had nice things but interactions with family were strained , you had no where to turn. God forbid you got in trouble, then you had their undivided attention
Im gonna go ahead and tell my whole story of how i ended up feeling self-hated towards others. Back When i was a child i used to feel so much love and a caring person, and was loved by almost everyone and by the times i started schools at the age of 5 at first i was okay with almost everyone until they started bullying me, one of them smack me really hard and some push me and scared me and of course getting punch for no reason. By the time when i was 14 i started to feel a bit of anxiety towards others who might try to take advantage of me or try to hurt me therefore i was the same person who continues to love one another and all i get was a bunch of hatred and i was pretty much rejection by almost everyone and when the pandemic hit new jersey in the early 2020 i started to experience depression hopeless and i feel every pain that came from the past and it grow inside my head making me feel like a psychopath i get these nightmare of people who done me wrong from the past and i saw the city covered in dark ink and i saw most of them cover in red and it was the worst feeling I've ever experienced since everything was in lock down so i started to pray by almost every day and three year's later it was less negative now and i don't feel it anymore but its still there and i don't deserve this feeling because i wasn't feeling any love from anyone but only hatreds towards others and i wish i could restore my mind and find some peace from this terrible feeling but i guess i have to fight it even though i don't deserve this i hope this helps for all of you i wish you the best of luck in your life always forgive them but just the reminder that its not for them but it is for you so that you can be free from the past that has no hold of you.
I just have to say, we often are too harsh on our parents when we become aware of the ways they hurt us or neglect us. Im not justifying abuse or extreme neglect or helicopter pareting...that is entirely the fault of the parents, but somewhere parents are umperfect and have tendencies to do either extreme, aka either get too invilved or too little involved. The fact we need to realise is that we'd rather have imperfect parents onowing thay theyve done something wrong rather than have parents trying to be perfect and trying perfect parenting which is even more harmful .... so as an adult i understand why my parents have been the way they are, in what ways theyve unknowingly hurt me, while also knoeing that they love me and have only had the best intetions for me. All of us knowing this regardless of anything, need to reparent ourself in order to function properly in this world.
1:20 "It isn't that the inner child's cries are in any danger of breaking through into the public realm" - uhm, what? The exact opposite is the case: my (and many other people's) hurt, abused inner child affects the things I say and do as an adult ALL THE TIME. That is what's actually causing most of my problems - my inner child is oftentimes still "running things" in the present that he isn't supposed to be in charge of, like e.g. my dating life. I often still react to things like my childhood version would react to the abuse I had to receive from my parents, when in reality, I'm not actually being abused in the present.
I thought I resolved my anger within my inner child, I wasn’t wrong entirely but now it’s very difficult to consciously separated between the unresolved anger and the anger from others. I somehow loop between these realms and I suppose they are the keep repeating until I learn to accept them without passing out the anger to others and myself no more.
Please add Spanish subtitles to your videos ! Spanish subtitles make your videos make your videos accessible to the greater Spanish-speaking Hispanic community ! Thank you for your work
The problem of course is that a lot of us DON’T know how to treat the children around us! At least often not well enough. And yes, that does include the “well educated, fortunate” people visiting this channel.
I love this channel content, it helps me a lot. I just have a suggestion to simplify a little bit the language. I don't have english as my primary language and sometimes I cannot follow what is being said. Probably simplifying the language you could reach more people
Korkuyorum. İçimde ki çocuk öldü. Asla sevgi, merhamet gibi şeyleri uzun süre kullanamıyorum. Bir insanı sevemiyorum.Bu annem ve babamda dahil. Dış görünüşüm yüzünden kendimi çok tuhaf hissediyorum. Sevgi, aşk vb nasıl duygular hissediyorum ama gerçek hayatta kullanamıyorum. İçimde ki çocuğun sesini duyamıyorum.....😭😭😭
My father was an alcoholic... died early. Left with mom who always say "Youre a burden left to me by your father." I am 30 yrs old now, and I still think I am a burden to people... and that is weird since I have isolated myself for more than 3 yrs now.
Please try to find positive interaction with other people, no matter how small scale. The way to heal is through connecting with others and yourself in a positive way, an experience your parents couldn't give you. You're not a burden, you have a lot to give and you are worthy.
Hello inner child, I know who you are but I will not mention your name yet. You have revealed yourself several times to me. I rember that I had a black-white dream in which I stood in a dark room looking outside, it was at night. Outside everything was white, it was winter. And there you stood little child, alone, vulnerable and lonely in the cold, in the snow and in the darkness. The message was clear: you felt litterally and emotionelly excluded, alone and standing in the cold. You had a serious look in your eyes and made no single gesture. Motionless you stood there silently with a question in your eyes. And when I woke up I parked you in the remotest corner of my mind. But you did'nt give up. You forced your way into my mind and I saw you standing in your new blue skirt and jacket. How lonely and how intense were your feelings. You looked at me intensively with your open bright eyes, but I saw an unspoken question and a touch of sadness that you tried to hide by smiling at me. I saw that from the inside you were screaming for help. I knew that you needed me, but I needed so much for myself, so there was no space for your needs. I did'nt want to have your pain and sadness in my life for I had to survive. And the only way for me to survive is not to think of your emotions. Now and then you came in a flash into my thoughts, because you did'nt want to be forgotten. Now I have learned to express my feelings and to share these with peers that also have an inner wounded child that they may have not been aware of, and therefore I dare to talk about you an to show you to other people. I know that you need the following of me: attention, acknowledgment, love, comfort, safety, security, tenderness, understanding, empathy, pats, an arm or two around you, sitting on my lap being craddled. But... we both think the same thing: everything in the same time. I bow down and ask if I may lift you up. You hesitate, and keep your head oblique (slauting?) and look at me exploratory. You wonder if I am trustworthy for did'nt I let you stay outside in my/our dream? Now I say: "it is save little girl, now I am here for you forever and I will never let you go again. From now on I will protect you from everything that hurts, angers and grieves you. Everytime when you need me, if someone wants to hit you in your feelings, dignity and selfrespect, I will stand in front of you and I'll take care that nobody can approach you, for I am very strong. I will protect you to the utmost, that is my promise to you and to me. And I understand that you can't give your trust to me yet. I know that there-in you have often been put to shame and that I have to deserve your trust." Now I see that you dare to look at me frankly with your dark eyes, surrounded by a mist of liberated melted pearls, freely running over your face. I try to hide my poignancy, reach out my hand and not letting go my look you put your little hand in mine. And just before I embrace you in my arms, I whisper almost inaudible:"welcome inner child, welcome, I love you." into my thoughts
When i think of my inner child, I think about the little kid curled up in a ball, crying under the dining table, waiting for mum and dad to stop yelling at each other, and having me choose who to go with. Funny thing is, you'd think I'd want to comfort that kid and tell him everything will be okay. But I've been raised to believe that emotions are weakness, so part of me wants to kick the little shit. Maybe i'm just a terrible person. But I was a weak kid.
My Sister-in-law just had a stroke at age 38. She is in a polygamous relationship, a couple states away. She was a handicapped child, one leg is slightly shorter than the other, who grew up with an alcoholic father and an addicted mother. She watched, almost daily, how my husband's step father (her biological father) yelled, beat, and belittled my husband. She was bullied at school. She was sexualy molested by a neighbor at age 9. Her younger sister was the "Prom Queen" narcissistic type, and the latter got very little positive attention growing up. I was astonished when my husband couldn't come to the realization that due to all of these external forces, and having a 250+ lbs. to a 5ft. 5" frame wouldn't eventually give way to her physical demise. Yet, he still suffers in denial himself. Children's upbrings are so very crucial to the way they interact and confront the world as adults. It's so very sad to see that a lot of us are still grappling with such heartbreak and neglect. 💔
1:20 Inner children cause psychic distress not because they are too present, but because they are not present enough. They have been too effectively locked away. Their cries have been too seamlessly pushed and ignored. The've been pushed into a sound-proof chamber from which no murmur emerges. And yet still they exist. We are dealing with unwanted restless ghosts who have not been appeased or understood - but whose ongoing ignored unhappiness threatens the course of our lives. The task ahead requires a perhaps even more grating and obtuse word: reparenting.
My therapist wants me to do it. I’m trying to understand the reason behind it because I don’t believe the inner child is there. My therapist asked me to show some compassion to that child and I have said; No why should I? She doesn’t exist and I am only one person, not multiple people.
Weird, I encountered this in a K-drama, “Kill Me, Heal Me”, where a man with multiple personalities which included his own younger version, needs to be healed.
"The wound is not my fault, but the healing is my responsibility." Marianne Williamson
Powerful quote. Hits hard.
Superb
It's not your fault, but it is your problem.
Yea socialists are usually right
Y E S 🤗
I was recommended the book "adult children of emotionally immature parents". It's a very good book
Thank you♡
I can vouch for this book. My therapist told me about it and it’s been mind-blowing
@@cierraslowsdown its amazing. I've been reading it since @amapolavioleta recommended it and not only has it been a healing experience, but it's been an enlightening one too. I think by the time I'm done with it, I'll be able to begin to forgive my parents for their shortcomings.
How to get this book without my parent finding out…I still live in their home
@azaram8133 I personally think even our parents should read this book. Because they were probably exposed as well.
days ago i was crying because i heard my mom and aunt comparing me to my brother and i was so heartbroken because it seems like they don't acknowledge the things I've done since i got a job. I was crying so much that something inside of me said "Just reparent yourself" and after hearing, the pain gets deeper so i was sobbing because "why would i fucking reparent myself? if only my parents know how to properly took care of us. If only they know how to be good parents when I was a kid, If only I didn't exist in this world." That were the things I thought. Being an adult having traumas in this noisy and messy world is very difficult but we really NEED to stand up for ourselves and have compassion to our inner child because our future self will be thankful for it. It's hard but we will get through this!
Keep doing well!
Hey Moonchild, i feel sorry for you. I hope you can get through this, but I am sure you will. Keep going, no matter how bad things might get. Be grateful for all things. Enjoy the beauty of nature. Do stuff you always wanted to try.
✨🙌🤝
It helps to remember that our parents are hurt children themselves and we have something they didn't, the unlimited resources we have free to access such information and help ourselves.
My father is dead, I had to forgive him without hearing an I'm sorry.
My mother may never say the words I would like to hear. She's a classic narcissist. So I'm extremely grateful for these videos. I've come a long way because of them.
Here’s to working for and hoping for a better tomorrow! Let those inner children find the awe in their life!
I understand that inner pain. I was compared to my brother as well, while the my struggles and good qualities were ignored. It takes time to heal and get stronger. Sending prayers your way, and you are right. You will get through this.
You are not a mistake. You are not a burden. You are loving, loved, and lovable. You are a gift to this world, sweet and tender child.
but what if I eat pizza with pineapple on it ?
Thank you for the gentle and loving words.
I'm crying. Thank you very much! ❤
Thank you
I'd tell my inner child that she's not to blame for any abuse hurled her way, and that she's stronger than she knows.
🥲👍❤
Can you tell her also that she's loved and special.
Same. 😢
@@imnothingbutastreetcat7996Yes,everyday and all the time
that's so sweet of you!
I will say continuing to heal my inner child is changing who I am as an adult everytime ✨. Totally worth it keep going, go outside and play, buy the toys/clothes you wanted as a child/teen, if you have kids or work with kids tap into your inner child and color on the floor with them it's really a great way to heal.
You're wholesome.
This is great! Aside from playing with kids, I have gone whole hog on letting myself be the child/teen/young adult I wanted to be. I listen to my favorite music, bought myself those boots I always wanted, and wear as much black eyeliner as I darn well please!
I recently found one of my favorite childhood books at a bookshop for $3, but to me, it's priceless..
@@JLakis Loving your comment ☮
Emotional support plushies are a real tool, & so helpful!!! Mine is an Ikea Shark plushie & I love her to bits xxx
I think the idea of the "inner child" is real and strong. Growing up, I realized that I had several internal children, each with their own ache, battles and unresolved matters. As I grew up, I understood that I had to show myself love and kindness, taking care of the little hurt child within me, which has been a hard but rewarding experience 💜
Yeah, I also have some catching up to do with my inner child. If I could tell something to my 7 year old self, maybe I'd start with "My boy, they... They just don't understand."
Also, yikes! Sorry you had just been contacted by a spam bot. It sucks, happened once to me.
@@CinzaChumbo That's so true! It's so important to be sure we're taking care of our inner child. We need to be gentle and understanding with ourselves, and also recognize that it's not always our fault and we just need to accept that 💕
And yes, spam bots are the worst! I always make sure to report them.
"We are standing on their shoulders, and can only be as stable, as they are."
It's really impressive how you managed to compress such a complex issue into such a eloquent solution, in just one sentence.
This really struck a sensitive chord. I have been through a lot. Lost both sides of the family due to endless conflicts with my parents. Lost loved ones. Leaving my inner child crying forever. The talking to my inner child finally started when I found a new home, and uncovered an old photo of me as a 2 year old. I said "I heared you wanted to go home for so long, how do you like this place?" The inner kid's tears finnally dried up. He even smiled. That aching feeling of 'I want to go home' while being in a place that you call 'home' was finally gone. As a younger kid I was obsessed with Notre Dame de Paris for some reason. So as a kid, I took a pen, paper and did a pretty good job at drawing Notre Dame, stone by stone. We all know what happened later on in april 2019. So after the spire fell down, I picked up drawing again. I've drawn all sides of Notre Dame de Paris, stone by stone. As good as I can. I've been working years on it. So looking at the end results, I took my inner child on my lap and told him; "This is for you. This is for all the adversity that you have been through. This is to let you know, that whatever you have been through, whatever the mistakes you've made, whatever the circumstance will be, I will always be there with you!"
It really gives a sense of becoming full circle.
That's a powerful story
This is so beautiful and inspiring, thank you for sharing.
I've been though so much trauma as both a child and a teen that I couldn't bear to face for decades, but their unheard cries haunted me for decades. It's only now in my 40s that I can finally begin to face the horrors and comfort the children within.
I m rooting for youuu ❤❤❤
“I see you” and “it’s ok to express what you feel it’s not being rude”
It helped me to name my inner child. You could use a nickname that you had at that age, or the name your parents called you (as long as it was positive). Then you can speak to the child as your adult self, fully-knowing all the difficult things your precious baby self had to endure, and give them some love. Doing this really changed my life ❤
How did u give love please tell
I did this as well, it really helps connect
Great advice cheers
The School Of life has made me understand that the role of one's experiences in childhood cannot be overemphasized.
I'd tell her she matters, her feelings are valid.
coming from a household where you were expected to pretend you don't exist, reparenting is extremely hard.
My inner child is an inner baby, screaming for attention. I ignored him for so long, shut him down with fury and I did it so efficiently that I had a breakdown. I treated my inner baby the way my parents had treated him. Embodiment work helped me find my baby, create a better environment for me to treat him with kindness. I also had to, at times violently, redefine the space for me to heal. Not violence against current people, but against the horrible conditioning. I'm 63 and still battling to give me the space I need to heal, but better that than the alternative!
Healing is work. And it isn't linear. But it is the best step. Tears are shed, anger is expressed and frustration escapes but it is better to heal than to kill.
What single, soothing message would you wish to give to your inner child? Let us know in the comments below.
You're not alone. You're loved.
That I'm stronger than I believe, and more loved that I can ever know.
You are safe, I have your back ❤️
That every new hour is a new possibility! Never lose hope
You are loved, accepted and do not need to fit into any box to feel so. ❤
It's so warming to see the inner child heal as a therapist
The damage of childhood years due to having one bad parent was out of my control.
But I can turn my wound into power, that's within my control.😊🔥
As a therapist who uses inner child healing work with clients (and myself), this is such a good explanation! I love the tree example as well :)
Would you like to give some tips on how exactly do we go about healing our inner child?
@@inventoar7521 Look up Patrick Teahan (a therapist) here on YT, his channel covers literally everything from inner child to dealing with narcissist issues.
1 year of IFS therapy worked wonders for my Inner Child healing. It was very intense and I learned how to take care of him on my own now ♥️ Relationship with the Inner Child is the most beautiful one in my view. Inner Child brings many qualities such as wonder, curiosity and joy ♥️
If you think Inner Child doesn't exist think again. I did psychedelics prior to IFS therapy and saw my Inner Child crystal clear. So yeah it very much does exist.
To my inner child:
Every time he comes home, remember this: He's got a lot of his own problems, and sometimes he runs out of the medicine he uses to fix his pain, his pain isn't your fault. He's not actually going to kill your dog, he's just going to threaten that because he's got no power over his own life and he's barely hanging on... You don't deserve it though, I wish I could hold you and comfort you as you lay awake crying for your dog. Also, Mom had done to her the night before, what she did to you all of those times..she's in a ton of pain and doesn't know what to do. She's not actually going to stab you, she'd never do that, but she's gonna threaten to do it - and it's not fair and thats really scary, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna help you through it now. I'm so sorry nobody was there for you in all of those absolutely terrifying moments, but we are gonna remember them together and relearn this world. It's not as horrible as they taught it to be.
Reparenting is the only thing that seems to be working for me, after 2 decades of absolute misery in adulthood.
OMG, this was horrifying to read. I am so sorry for you.
@@redrumax I've actually made more progress since this comment was written, than I have in 15 years of searching. Inner child work has been the answer for me.
Ooh how I resisted listening through this.
...
Because it absolutely applies to me.
Literally cried in front of this idea, it resonates so much in me and look exactly like what i needed. I've already had before a kind of this idea and i'm so happy to be able to dig deep inside. Thank you
I learned about this concept recently and Its really worked for me imagining all my former selves in their worst states and going back to comfort them, for example my Uncle hit me very hard, in the face when I was about 7 years old. He's a very big man and i had a pink spot on my eye for weeks to the point where my teacher asked if I was being abused, my mom was right there and didn't stop him. I didn't realize it was still affecting me. I imagined myself, the 30 year old woman I am now standing in front of my 7 year old self and stopping his hand before he hit me. The first time I imagined this I started crying uncontrollably and I felt a weight lifted almost immediately. So periodically I've been going back to remind all my former selves in there worst states that I'm here now as an older wiser person to protect them and I imagine myself hugging my 7 year old self my 5 year old self my 16 year old self even my self last year reminding them we can protect ourselves now and that its okay.
The best healing Is to meet the Father, stay at his loving presents and knowing you are really loved.
No matter how much we pretend but there is always a child in every adult
I have never felt safe nor at peace, so how am I supposed to heal my inner child when she’s still present in me?
I was sexually molested by my mom’s cousin when I was 4 years old. He was way over 17 years old. My family never protected me and invalidated my trauma and emotions. He was the one that was protected and everyone kept shut, “cause boys will be boys”. He’s still my maternal’s family proud joy. Every thanksgiving, every Christmas, every Navidades, every birthdays, every time I went to my grandma’s and great grandmother’s house; I was forced to relieve it. Since I was a child I’ve dissociated and still self harm by picking at my skin and scabs until they bled. Most of the times I did it unknowingly. I was brought to the present moment when my fingers were covered in blood and I felt aching pain.
I’m 22 years old now and with the diagnosis of CPTSD and BPD. Prior I was told it was Major Depressive Disorder and Chronic Anxiety, but it was deeper and heavier than that.
I still suffer flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, I get triggered and still struggle to see why my life should continue.
No doubt that such trauma and others at such a young age, altered and affected my brain chemistry.
I will suffer the consequences of a monster’s actions for the rest of my life.
I take medication and go to therapy but there’s just so much one can do to heal a broken soul and spirit.
No one understands it
You can be the adult that your 4 year old self needed, standing between you and the offender. Offer them protection and hearing their needs. Even if it doesn't change the fact of the past, it can help you find what you needed. I hope you're able to protect yourself from this person now. 🫂
Yes... I heard this before from MV Summers, of being a loving parent to our mind. Meditation helps to become aware of what's really happening inside us...
Thanks or sharing!
3/18 you did nothing wrong to deserve the abuse you received. You are wonderful, valued and have so much to give to the world. ❤
I started to intermittently cry watching this. Thank you you are very nice and kind human❤
Thanks!
"We are standing on their shoulders, and we can only be as stable as they are".. Wow, never heard it this way before.
The saying: Build a foundation for your life, but if there was never a solid foundation to begin with because of outside forces and such, it makes starting adulthood heck hard.
I've been thinking a lot about reparenting lately after I came to realization that my parents are also with wounded inner child in them
It takes a lot of empathy to think about your parents that way. It is a very kind stance to take.
I have grown up to now conclude I have duel personality: one that is me; genuine, loving, caring, responsible, creative, good, etc; and one that was conditioned to hate, fear, is self destructive, ignorant, grim, craven, stupid, insecure, etc, just like the coward who beat those latter traits into me when I was a kid.
I'm learning that the more I learn about my past the less I know, therefore ignorance is the past that continues to plaque me. It has been difficult to let go, however I'm learning that every tiny new step forward is taking me further away from painful flashbacks, and that cannot be a bad thing.
These videos are superb. I’m a therapist & love how u explain and match with animation.
I cannot begin to explain what this video means to me. So profound, so true, so, so meaningful. Ah!
This is so so important. That’s why I love the work with IFS , intern family system, from PhD Richard Schwartz
Thank you all for existing, thank you all for the universal love we share, it helps me keep going
just in time. I’m preparing to look into internal family systems and shadow work!
It's fulfilling work! 😁
My lonely feelings from being ill & jealousy from my elder sister are no one's fault. Our parents were just too busy juggling careers, a hobby farm & four children. It is not my fault our parents thought you were mature enough to mind us. She had told me she has apologised many times yet you didn't accept.
When you say I had a happy childhood were you really looking at me or just thinking my existence was taking time away from you. I worshipped you & was punched & kicked out of bed by you.
I am yet to heal. However after 67 years childhood memories are finally coming back. I need to deal with them so I can grow past SA & SH. One thing from drugs & counselling " it was not my fault. I didn't ask for it or go looking for it. I was four years old & he was your friends's father. He was the predator"
Thank you for the floodgate of tears ☮
We stand on the shoulders of who we once were... Wise words 💖
Layer upon layer of "I'm Fine" have buried and silenced my inner child.
I've been working on this subject for quite a while now and this video helps A LOT on sewing together much of what I'm doing.
Thank you! ❤️❤❤️
thank you for being so good at making the complex so easily absorbable
My parents and their lack of involvement or getting overly involved in some aspects was confusing and tiring. You never knew from day to day what their mood was or what a reaction may be. Love was conditional and rather hard to find.
I grew up in a nice home, had nice things but interactions with family were strained , you had no where to turn.
God forbid you got in trouble, then you had their undivided attention
My current situation right now❤It isn’t easy but I will get there some day🙏🙌🏾
Im gonna go ahead and tell my whole story of how i ended up feeling self-hated towards others. Back When i was a child i used to feel so much love and a caring person, and was loved by almost everyone and by the times i started schools at the age of 5 at first i was okay with almost everyone until they started bullying me, one of them smack me really hard and some push me and scared me and of course getting punch for no reason. By the time when i was 14 i started to feel a bit of anxiety towards others who might try to take advantage of me or try to hurt me therefore i was the same person who continues to love one another and all i get was a bunch of hatred and i was pretty much rejection by almost everyone and when the pandemic hit new jersey in the early 2020 i started to experience depression hopeless and i feel every pain that came from the past and it grow inside my head making me feel like a psychopath i get these nightmare of people who done me wrong from the past and i saw the city covered in dark ink and i saw most of them cover in red and it was the worst feeling I've ever experienced since everything was in lock down so i started to pray by almost every day and three year's later it was less negative now and i don't feel it anymore but its still there and i don't deserve this feeling because i wasn't feeling any love from anyone but only hatreds towards others and i wish i could restore my mind and find some peace from this terrible feeling but i guess i have to fight it even though i don't deserve this i hope this helps for all of you i wish you the best of luck in your life always forgive them but just the reminder that its not for them but it is for you so that you can be free from the past that has no hold of you.
You’re channel is doing so much good and we’re so grateful!
I just have to say, we often are too harsh on our parents when we become aware of the ways they hurt us or neglect us. Im not justifying abuse or extreme neglect or helicopter pareting...that is entirely the fault of the parents, but somewhere parents are umperfect and have tendencies to do either extreme, aka either get too invilved or too little involved. The fact we need to realise is that we'd rather have imperfect parents onowing thay theyve done something wrong rather than have parents trying to be perfect and trying perfect parenting which is even more harmful .... so as an adult i understand why my parents have been the way they are, in what ways theyve unknowingly hurt me, while also knoeing that they love me and have only had the best intetions for me. All of us knowing this regardless of anything, need to reparent ourself in order to function properly in this world.
This stuff should be in the school curriculum.
I was on my own, and I raised myself. My friend said that everyone likes me. That may be true now, but not many years ago. : - )
Such dense wisdom in such short time!
It’s like a precious pure perfum essence in a tiny flacon!
1:20 "It isn't that the inner child's cries are in any danger of breaking through into the public realm" - uhm, what? The exact opposite is the case: my (and many other people's) hurt, abused inner child affects the things I say and do as an adult ALL THE TIME. That is what's actually causing most of my problems - my inner child is oftentimes still "running things" in the present that he isn't supposed to be in charge of, like e.g. my dating life. I often still react to things like my childhood version would react to the abuse I had to receive from my parents, when in reality, I'm not actually being abused in the present.
Short, meaningful, well descriebed. This video is perfect, congratulation! And thank you very much ❤❤❤
I thought I resolved my anger within my inner child, I wasn’t wrong entirely but now it’s very difficult to consciously separated between the unresolved anger and the anger from others. I somehow loop between these realms and I suppose they are the keep repeating until I learn to accept them without passing out the anger to others and myself no more.
You have a soothing voice ☺️🤍
Thank you for providing me the idea of REPARENTING. will surely do it
Thank for bringing such an important topic with such a good perspective of viewing it. 🙏
Adult children of alcoholics or other dysfunctional family systems
ACA or ACOA directly address this.
Look it up.
Teal Swan goes into this in depth, in her, 'Completion Process'.
Please add Spanish subtitles to your videos ! Spanish subtitles make your videos make your videos accessible to the greater Spanish-speaking Hispanic community ! Thank you for your work
Kids are cruel, Jack! And I’m very in touch with my inner child!
The problem of course is that a lot of us DON’T know how to treat the children around us! At least often not well enough. And yes, that does include the “well educated, fortunate” people visiting this channel.
This video is so insightful. Thank you for this cathartic tool.
I love this channel content, it helps me a lot. I just have a suggestion to simplify a little bit the language. I don't have english as my primary language and sometimes I cannot follow what is being said. Probably simplifying the language you could reach more people
Korkuyorum. İçimde ki çocuk öldü. Asla sevgi, merhamet gibi şeyleri uzun süre kullanamıyorum. Bir insanı sevemiyorum.Bu annem ve babamda dahil. Dış görünüşüm yüzünden kendimi çok tuhaf hissediyorum. Sevgi, aşk vb nasıl duygular hissediyorum ama gerçek hayatta kullanamıyorum. İçimde ki çocuğun sesini duyamıyorum.....😭😭😭
Alain’s voice heals my inner child. TY for narrating.🫶🫶🫶🫶❤️
Healing our inner child is not an easy task. It's like parenting duodecaplets! Each one of them has his own story.
"No version of us ever entirely disappears, it's merely added to and buttressed, just like an okatree that contains in its rings."
There was nothing you could do. You were always just enough. They were just never enough for themselves
I want to cry now
Same
Thank you for making this video, it was very helpful
My father was an alcoholic... died early. Left with mom who always say "Youre a burden left to me by your father." I am 30 yrs old now, and I still think I am a burden to people... and that is weird since I have isolated myself for more than 3 yrs now.
Please try to find positive interaction with other people, no matter how small scale. The way to heal is through connecting with others and yourself in a positive way, an experience your parents couldn't give you. You're not a burden, you have a lot to give and you are worthy.
Turn to God The Father. He will be the parent that your own parent should have. “God IS Love”
Thank you for this video 🙏🏻
Thank you. Much needed content in our times.
Hello inner child, I know who you are but I will not mention your name yet. You have revealed yourself several times to me.
I rember that I had a black-white dream in which I stood in a dark room looking outside, it was at night. Outside everything
was white, it was winter. And there you stood little child, alone, vulnerable and lonely in the cold, in the snow and in the darkness. The message was clear: you felt litterally and emotionelly excluded, alone and standing in the cold. You had a serious look in your eyes and made no single gesture. Motionless you stood there silently with a question in your eyes. And when I woke up I parked you in the remotest corner of my mind. But you did'nt give up. You forced your way into my mind and I saw you standing in your new blue skirt and jacket. How lonely and how intense were your feelings. You looked at me intensively with your open bright eyes, but I saw an unspoken question and a touch of sadness that you tried to hide by smiling at me. I saw that from the inside you were screaming for help. I knew that you needed me, but I needed so much for myself, so there was no space for your needs. I did'nt want to have your pain and sadness in my life for I had to survive. And the only way for me to survive is not to think of your emotions. Now and then you came in a flash into my thoughts, because you did'nt want to be forgotten. Now I have learned to express my feelings and to share these with peers that also have an inner wounded child that they may have not been aware of, and therefore I dare to talk about you an to show you to other people. I know that you need the following of me: attention, acknowledgment, love, comfort, safety, security, tenderness, understanding, empathy, pats, an arm or two around you, sitting on my lap being craddled. But... we both think the same thing: everything in the same time. I bow down and ask if I may lift you up. You hesitate, and keep your head oblique (slauting?) and look at me exploratory. You wonder if I am trustworthy for did'nt I let you stay outside in my/our dream? Now I say: "it is save little girl, now I am here for you forever and I will never let you go again. From now on I will protect you from everything that hurts, angers and grieves you. Everytime when you need me, if someone wants to hit you in your feelings, dignity and selfrespect, I will stand in front of you and I'll take care that nobody can approach you, for I am very strong. I will protect you to the utmost, that is my promise to you and to me. And I understand that you can't give your trust to me yet. I know that there-in you have often been put to shame and that I have to deserve your trust." Now I see that you dare to look at me frankly with your dark eyes, surrounded by a mist of liberated melted pearls, freely running over your face. I try to hide my poignancy, reach out my hand and not letting go my look you put your little hand in mine. And just before I embrace you in my arms, I whisper almost inaudible:"welcome inner child, welcome, I love you."
into my thoughts
Like I said kids are cruel jack and im very Touch with my inner child
When i think of my inner child, I think about the little kid curled up in a ball, crying under the dining table, waiting for mum and dad to stop yelling at each other, and having me choose who to go with.
Funny thing is, you'd think I'd want to comfort that kid and tell him everything will be okay.
But I've been raised to believe that emotions are weakness, so part of me wants to kick the little shit. Maybe i'm just a terrible person. But I was a weak kid.
This was so GOOD. Real GOOD!
Groundbreaking!!! As usual
Thank you !
What a phenomenal video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still do this even in my old age ❤
Thank you
My Sister-in-law just had a stroke at age 38. She is in a polygamous relationship, a couple states away.
She was a handicapped child, one leg is slightly shorter than the other, who grew up with an alcoholic father and an addicted mother. She watched, almost daily, how my husband's step father (her biological father) yelled, beat, and belittled my husband. She was bullied at school. She was sexualy molested by a neighbor at age 9. Her younger sister was the "Prom Queen" narcissistic type, and the latter got very little positive attention growing up.
I was astonished when my husband couldn't come to the realization that due to all of these external forces, and having a 250+ lbs. to a 5ft. 5" frame wouldn't eventually give way to her physical demise. Yet, he still suffers in denial himself.
Children's upbrings are so very crucial to the way they interact and confront the world as adults. It's so very sad to see that a lot of us are still grappling with such heartbreak and neglect. 💔
1:20 Inner children cause psychic distress not because they are too present, but because they are not present enough. They have been too effectively locked away. Their cries have been too seamlessly pushed and ignored. The've been pushed into a sound-proof chamber from which no murmur emerges. And yet still they exist. We are dealing with unwanted restless ghosts who have not been appeased or understood - but whose ongoing ignored unhappiness threatens the course of our lives. The task ahead requires a perhaps even more grating and obtuse word: reparenting.
My therapist wants me to do it. I’m trying to understand the reason behind it because I don’t believe the inner child is there.
My therapist asked me to show some compassion to that child and I have said; No why should I? She doesn’t exist and I am only one person, not multiple people.
Such a special video
wow that last sentence hit hard.
Please make a video about parenting styles
Genius. As ever.
Love you 🦌🦌
THANKS YOU - I LOVE YOU
Beautiful meaningful video. Beautiful animation ❤
Unconscious means Unconscious ❗ don't worry about it, the denial is there to protect you too ❣️
Weird, I encountered this in a K-drama, “Kill Me, Heal Me”, where a man with multiple personalities which included his own younger version, needs to be healed.
Has anyone commented that this is the premise of the therapy theory internal family systems?