How about if the woman doesn’t naturally do what makes you uncomfortable maybe she talks to a lot of guys and it makes you uncomfortable but maybe she’s willing to say OK I’m not gonna do that if we’re committed or married then that’s OK too!!!
Ismael,you have made so many useful, marvellous videos on your channel,which helped me to understand all this date/relationship dramas 😵💫🙏😰 Thank you so much.
As a younger person in college, my psychology professor taught me something I have never forgotten and that is if it feels good it is good and if it feels bad it is bad. The body knows everything.
Yes, that's a good measuring bar. But, humans are not black or white. Behaviours change and situations make things difficult. One can feel good at times, and then feel bad at other times, with the same person. So many factors come into play... 🤷🏼♀️
Obsess over yourself, look at yourself and write down everything you like about yourself. Admire yourself, congratulate yourself, be your biggest fan. The above sounds strange, but it is necessary, because when you have iron self-esteem it is very easy to set limits. Because you love yourself so much, and you know so well what you deserve that when you feel uncomfortable, you take your things and leave. You never excuse disrespect and you don't give importance to apologies.
It sounds good, in theory. But, with so much self esteem and huge boundaries, do you still have interesting and any people around you? Plus, in my case, I don't easily like any kind of man, so the rare times when I do I'm so glad to meet a match that my natural boundaries weaken. I also find all this strategic stuff so tiring and even counter intuitive. 😔
@@cutechiangelsI think your answer shows your issues with setting boundaries: you are scared to end up alone and not find a matching man for you so you compromise yourself to please others. That is exactly the opposite of having strong boundaries and self-esteem. Because when you are secure in yourself, you are not scared to be alone with yourself. You enjoy your own company. Plus, you are convinced enough by yourself that you believe people will love you for being you, and standing up for yourself. Cause that is a very magnetic thing. And it filters out people that don’t fit you or only want to use you. Spend more time with yourself, do things that make you happy alone 💖✨
@@Dalenaxx3 That's absolutely not my case!! I love my own company, and have enjoyed it for some decenia, now! And, I don't have the fears you state, either. Before commenting in stereotype fashion; without any space for anything else; do some research or leave space for some options and be wiser. In an other comment of mine I stipulated that I come from a background without any addictions (I don't have any myself), and without any conflicts at all. It sounds strange but it's true. So, my 'measuring bar' is very different and more flexible to most people. Plus, as I'm in gratitude and authentic kindness (not for a strategic reason) people who feel this want to have some too!! Which is logical. Only, the masses don't really know how to go about with such beautiful qualities, and don't take care to handle righteously. That's got nothing to do with me, but with themselves. I realized very early, I bring people into awakening, if they wish to. I'm absolutely not afraid of being alone, never have been, nor people pleasing just to be liked, (I never do something that way), nor any of the other stereotype traits you name, that are very limiting. There are other factors we don't always have in our hands, that can play a role in human exchanges. Luckily, we aren't all the same, and luckily when we do love deeply we can tolerate and go beyond things one wouldn't do otherwise. This is important in human exchanges and human development. It aquires extreem emotional stability to be with someone who is less stable, too. There are so many variations and variables in a relationship, things aren't black nor white!! We aren't robots (yet). If I wanted to be alone all my life, I would've chosen a secluded life, far from anyone. But, even if I'm better alone, I like to share and exchange with others. My aim is to find a like-minded group of people and a great and kind like-minded life partner. There's nothing wrong with that, on the contrary! I have been through some extremely enduringly human situations, non chosen, that made me come out even wiser and even more grounded than I already was before. Kindness and authenticity are virtues not many people have anymore. Non calculating and spontaneous good behavior is very rare nowadays, too. This is why so many things become so complicated between humans. Next time you react or comment, think and be wiser before writing. Thanks.
I’m an actress and model and I always bring up the kind of experience you mentioned in your video. Men think they want to date models and actresses but don’t realise what comes with that job; she travels alone to places where she works with handsome men, gets invited to events where there are successful men, and needs to do intimate work with good looking men…this is why many models and actresses are single :) men don’t realise dating one isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and might challenge their egos a little..
Thanks for sharing your insight. Dating someone in your profession definitely comes with its own set of challenges, and it’s important for men to understand that.
The hardest one is boundary setting in general. People think they know what a boundary is but it turns into avoidance, deflecting, blame shifting, or controlling the other person. It sometimes creates a double standard in some cases. Define clearly what a boundary is, but also what it is NOT, first.❤
Boundary is something that will make you regret you have crossed it or allowed someone to cross it if you imagine it can happen. Sometimes you would think you’d be OK but once the damage is done you’d feel differently- and this may happen if small amounts of boundary violations pile up. For this one needs self respect and respect to others, high value standards of ethics and morality but this need to be understood deeply rather than superficially. The short answer is - Know Thyself and you’d know your own boundaries (no one else matters and their respective boundaries).
A difficult yet very important boundary for me is around female friends/clients. What do you do if you express that you are feeling uncomfortable around this topic and the other person seems to ignore it? A boundary without consequences is worth nothing. A video around the topic of possible consequences would be amazing.
I know all of this. But it's been about 8 years since learning and implementing thess things and I needed this refresher. My marriage just hit it's first rough patch. 7 years in. Out of nowhere. For seemingly no reason. Make sure you remind yourself what you need out of life. And what you'll accept.
A little bit of discomfort when setting boundaries at first creates a lifetime of comfortably content partnership, personally and professionally. If we fail to do this, we can end up committing to a life of misery and angst, while making other people who do not deserve our attention very happy. Let's not do it. I especially liked that couple who encourage us to ask questions. One thing I have learned is not to get too involved with people who evade basic, neutral questions about themselves, particularly if they introduced the subject you are questioning. They want to brag, but are hoping you will be charmed rather than interested. Here's a question: why?😂😂😂
I want more videos on male psychology. Why most of them pulls away or start showing less affection after a month of dating for example. It's like when they feel like they have won your heart.. their interest goes down. I want your opinion about this matter. Thanks in advance.
Not all men. Just two types. First, emotional unavailable men who after they hunt you down and should start having emotional connection pull back out of fear (childhood drama). Second, men who only have the intention to hunt and loose interest after getting you... both not relationship material. I found the third one... unicorns... my husband still values me after more then five years... it's possible.
@ireefree2024 Glad to hear about your happiness 😊 you are so lucky. Now my question is that how to recognise such men? I don't know why am I attracting the same manipulative emotionally unavailable men towards me.. It's become a pattern. I don't know how to change this.
@Achiever22 Honest answer? You will have an attractions towards this men because of unfinished childhood issues. It could be big things but also small things where you felt neglected. So unconsciously you choose men who trigger these feelings. You should heal that wound and accept it (therapy if is a big issue for example my parents are alcoholics). Also if you find a man where you don't feel butterflies but other values fit give him another change (don't misunderstand me, you should find him attractive but he doesn't do push and pull and he is consequent in his behavior and priorities you). What happened to me is that then I started to push my husband away because peace was so unfamiliar too me too. So in my case only therapy helped.
@@Achiever22 Honest answer? You will have an attractions towards this men because of unfinished childhood issues. It could be big things but also small things where you felt neglected as a child. So unconsciously you choose men who trigger these feelings. You should heal that wound and accept it (therapy if is a big issue for example my parents are alcoholics). Also if you find a man where you don't feel butterflies but other values fit give him another change (don't misunderstand me, you should find him attractive but he doesn't do push and pull and he is consequent and priorities you without loveboming). What happened to me is that then I started to push my husband away because peace was so unfamiliar too me too. So only therapy helped me and self reflection also videos like this one. It's now for entertainment back then it was life changing.
Thank you. Conservative, ethical, moral. You set your bar high and expect the same. It is better to be alone and at peace w one's soul, self, spirit, than to let another distespect you by disregarding your boundaries and sowing seeds of selfreproach.
Be careful lending money to friends or people you are dating because it will create distortions of hierarchy in the relationship. If a friend is really in a bind, give them what you are willing to part with as a gift. Then never mention it again. You will most likely get the favor returned to you in some significant way. But if you get asked for a loan a second time and you were not repaid in some way for the first, decline. You are being used. Never lend more than you are willing and able to lose.
Never lend money. Period. Only people with no knowledge, wisdom and parents who tought them these skills, will follow your idiotic " advice" you are nobody's doormat and that's from the start. So don't advice to be stupid 1 time and even give the money, and just cut them off 2nd time, just because a loser asked you this, you don't have to message his problems your problem, especially money, friends don't ask you money. Energy vampires, and loser only do this. Look for better friends. Because this is exactly how weakminded people get used, abused and scammed.
I struggle with Physical boundaries. I've had people that I have put those boundaries in place with and they've yelled at me or tried to manipulate me into it, at the time I was only young and it was considered grooming but because of that I'm 20 years old and have only just learned to set boundaries.
Once again a GREAT video!! The one I struggle with the most with my LDR is Time and Energy. He likes to be the first to end our conversation, and does not seem to like it when I do it first, but I see your point and I will do it first from now on. We talk 5 nights a week.
Ismael, thanks so much for this one! I need more of this - healthy boundaries - my weakest the same as what you mentioned. Please talk more about this subject. Thanks for your videos, they make a difference !
I love looking at your videos !! Where were you when I needed 2 hear all this !? I am Happily single now and do not have 2 worry about any of this !! Thank you many blessings
I’ve struggled with quite a bit but mostly intimacy and sexual boundaries bc even if I don’t WANT to do something I ALWAYS end up feeling like i HAVE to bc I want them to like me, even if I feel uncomfortable!!!!
Thank you... it helps to hear it very clear... I would prefer in detail the topic about financial boundaries ... other than spending behaviour what other actions to watch to assess the other person to be safe... thank you...
I'm not a "needy" person, however, I do have needs. I go without them for so long I may come off needy. I try to explain, but it usually doesn't work. Men think I'm lying, and just hiding my insecurities
Yes, it's a tricky thing, the nowadays interactions. In any kind of way. Spontaneity or intuitive handling doesn't seem to have any value anymore. Although that's what makes relationships so interesting and much easier than all this strategic thinking before doing. We aren't robots (yet), and have feelings still. Although in most people these are totally distorted, alas...😞 Good luck to you, from a friend. 🤗
STOP caring what these manchildren on the DL think. They are almost all abusers and users of women. Dating is = prostituting yourself to low level makes who are mean, immature, disrespectful and just don't give f about women and only want s3x. That's why communication with them often feels like flogging a dead horse. They drain your energy, negative or positive they don't care, even trough texting, talking while they play stupid or even thinking thinking/ worrying any them... leave them where they belong, if they can't even hold a civil normal, treasury's l respectful conversation. It's a red flag of being an abuser.
again amazing, helpful video. i love your visual metaphors, as a visual learner it really helps me grasp concepts. you speak clearly and your points are always punchy and effective. you are based
Hi Ismael, Your content is so informative, helpful and healthy thank you for sharing your views, values and experiences. I've been learning a lot about the male mind and needs and I would appreciate a video of shy/introverted/inexperienced men very much as I think they show their intrest a little more suble- if at all- and how they pursue a woman/relationship as they seem to be less aggressive in progressing things. Thank you in advace and all the best.
I noticed some men after moving on with another woman or even get married would still want to connect with their ex or female friends. That doesn't go well with me. If you have moved on, then detach from me physically. I set this boundary with a male friend and he started trying to be serious with me. Why would a man not want a commitment with a lady and at the same time does not want to lose her? Please i need answers
Another great vid of yours. About the emotional boundaries - what do you do when you disclose your feelings and you are being dismissed? Like do you just say you expect more, for them to say x and y?
Point out times in the past when he acknowledged your feelings and let him know you appreciated it. Explain that this is why you hope for the same understanding now.
"Stop multitasking" is one of the most commonly used phrases in your videos. I somewhat agree (because it raises your dopamine too high and kind of makes you addicted to drama), but ... I gotta say, I am also a busy mom and a wife. If I didn't multitask, I'd probably not have anything done. Do you have advice for people with a shortage of time ..? Thank you for all of your great videos. My husband enjoys them, too. Greetings from Europe.
Never forget to schedule time for yourself, even if it’s just 10 minutes to breathe or read a book. Your well-being is the foundation that supports everything else. One tip I often see successful women implement is planning their entire day the night before, ensuring they block some free time into their schedule. Does that make sense?
Emotional boundary is the one that challenges me. I want to be there for my guy when he complains and always try to be there for him. But it does feel draining, and i also fear that if I can’t understand him or fully be there for him, he may turn to other women. What to do with this situation? Bc i have encountered many circumstances in the past that guys find comfort from me when they feel down, while they are in relationships with others or are even married😢
When I set a boundary, men think it’s a mood and ignore it the following day. My boundaries are not moods and not negotiable in many instances -deal breakers. How do you make it clear it’s firm, every day!
theres this weird toxic dichotemy these days, where it seems people are so obessed with forming intimacy or setting boundaries.....and neither of these things seems to happen both naturally and healthfully and safely. i think theres more to life than boundaries and intimacy... theres something inbetween thats just peaceful and doesnt have any expectations or needs and doesnt make any demands or even request....
Ismael thanks. It sounds good, in theory. But, with so many huge boundaries there's no room left for spontaneity. Nor for intuitive feelings. Nor for a man to reflect and change his behaviour. Or? For example, if a really kind man on the whole wants to go out together, but cancels a few times because of reasons like not enough organisation (for money, time, being in a difficult situation like no stable housing, work, etc...), should one immediately not even listen to what he has to say? And cut off dry? If he doesn't see it the same way, (that it's not a big problem to cancel for him), shouldn't one put a bit of water in the wine? I love my own company, and have always preferred being on my own. I also come from a very healthy background without conflict at all. Sounds strange but it's true. But we aren't meant to be alone all our lives. Otherwise, I would've chosen a hermits life, far from other humans. Things in life aren't so black or white. Plus, in my case, I don't easily like any kind of man, so the rare times when I do I'm so glad to meet a match that my natural very high boundaries weaken. Which is logical. I also find all this strategic stuff so tiring and even counter intuitive, in love. 😔 Also, I've fled some types of men, whom I never ever wanted to have in my life. (Losers, extremists, players, etc..) I easily fled them like the plague for decenia. Only to suddenly find myself in one of those relationships head over heels in love! This is just to show you we can't control everything. It's not like going shopping in a supermarket!! 😆 Destiny is in our lives too! And that's to meet your karmic or soulmates with whom one has made a spiritual contrat before coming here. One should forget that.
Emotional boundary and respect.... I had let him treat me like my emotions don't matter.... So can't blame him ... Not respecting someone's emotions is disrespectful and everything starts from there....
Frankly speaking al the pointers mentioned represents me that I faced these all issues fiancial issues must and , unfortunately but being wise got to know i fall and love a casenova,.. Disrespectful guy he is especially to me since beginning always takes test of my endurance.
I struggle with the destructive criticism I get from my husband. He is very blunt and makes personal remarks about my behavior and attitude when I make mistake. (Even on small mistakes) For example, I went for a shopping and bought a thing for $18 which not useful for now. He says “ how do you manage work at your workplace your manager must be having hard time with you! I generally keep quiet and don’t argue much when he does that to avoid tense situations. When he sees me upset he tries to cheer me up through different things but doesn’t talk about his rude behavior. Please someone guide me how should I respond to him and teach him my emotional boundary??
The thing is I think we women genuinely dp all this with people we don't love . And that makes them fall for us . But what's the use ? We don't have boundaries with the ones we love ..
I got cancelled once this guy came back later and when I asked he said he had an emergency at work? I feel right now I am teaching him boundaries, but I am cautious.
This is so cool thanks but how do i get my man who was good wr are in a long distance relationship he always was make me feel that he desires me. But 8t stopped all the other things is still very good but this is tricky is he ovetworked there you can give as info cause i love your videos thanks❤
In India if we woman set boundaries, friends,family, man everyone will run away and villanise. We as Indians not yet civilised as like the other top world countries.
Ismael, what do I say to a man who says he's obsessed with me, wants to marry me, consistently plans dates even though we are in an LDR, but also says : In my culture, a man doesn't provide for a woman before she is my wife.
I had to unsubscribe to your channel because of the experience I had with some fraudster last year who was impersonating you. He sent his number on this channel and later asked me to send him money. I was furious and decided to unsubscribe...i was afraid of not having to deal with the same issue. The real truth is your videos are so great and helpful but I am asking that you put more security in place for your channel...there are lots of scammers out there and not everybody is smart enough to know their dirty tricks. Thanks in advance🙏
Time and energy boundaries. Have this guy that I used to see and he would cancel like three times in a row and then he would come over. I like him so much. But I stopped seeing him because he keeps doing that. I really like him.
I have trouble with my time for him. He expects me to be around him majority of the time when he wants, but when it comes to me, I realized that he breadcrumbed me, came up with excuses. When I can't be around him much, he retaliates, makes me chase him, pretends he didn't see me, interacts with other women in an effort to make me jealous (not that I am), not answer calls/messages, more like punish me, as if I have done a mistake. I am starting to understand that he is toxic!
When you asked these questions, was he busy or tired? Sometimes, I have to wait a day before talking over things. I just say, "hey, I have something that's on my heart. When do you think is a good time for me to tell you?" But I also had someone run from a hard conversation for 3 WEEKS.. had to let that one go. He is now in a relationship 😂 I am happy it isn't me😊
@@Chrisia-Queens if you need to be passive aggressive to get his attention then call off the relationship. I'm happy married and when I need to talk about my emotions my husband listens to me. If you have to play games you'll only interact with a hurt child and are on the same level as he is.
I’m not an expert, and I don’t know what questions you’re asking…. But maybe you’re not asking the right questions that “speaks” his love language to get him to open up.
Let Me Help You Attract Authentic Love with a Man👇
www.skool.com/male-commitment-decoded
How about if the woman doesn’t naturally do what makes you uncomfortable maybe she talks to a lot of guys and it makes you uncomfortable but maybe she’s willing to say OK I’m not gonna do that if we’re committed or married then that’s OK too!!!
Ismael,you have made so many useful, marvellous videos on your channel,which helped me to understand all this date/relationship dramas 😵💫🙏😰
Thank you so much.
As a younger person in college, my psychology professor taught me something I have never forgotten and that is if it feels good it is good and if it feels bad it is bad. The body knows everything.
Thanks for sharing! 💗
Yes, that's a good measuring bar. But, humans are not black or white. Behaviours change and situations make things difficult. One can feel good at times, and then feel bad at other times, with the same person. So many factors come into play... 🤷🏼♀️
And if it feels too good (to be true) it might be bad!!!
@@Sabina-ve9ie a big yesss
@@Sabina-ve9iea big yess
Obsess over yourself, look at yourself and write down everything you like about yourself. Admire yourself, congratulate yourself, be your biggest fan. The above sounds strange, but it is necessary, because when you have iron self-esteem it is very easy to set limits. Because you love yourself so much, and you know so well what you deserve that when you feel uncomfortable, you take your things and leave. You never excuse disrespect and you don't give importance to apologies.
It sounds good, in theory. But, with so much self esteem and huge boundaries, do you still have interesting and any people around you?
Plus, in my case, I don't easily like any kind of man, so the rare times when I do I'm so glad to meet a match that my natural boundaries weaken. I also find all this strategic stuff so tiring and even counter intuitive. 😔
@@cutechiangelsI think your answer shows your issues with setting boundaries: you are scared to end up alone and not find a matching man for you so you compromise yourself to please others.
That is exactly the opposite of having strong boundaries and self-esteem. Because when you are secure in yourself, you are not scared to be alone with yourself. You enjoy your own company. Plus, you are convinced enough by yourself that you believe people will love you for being you, and standing up for yourself. Cause that is a very magnetic thing. And it filters out people that don’t fit you or only want to use you.
Spend more time with yourself, do things that make you happy alone 💖✨
@@Dalenaxx3
That's absolutely not my case!! I love my own company, and have enjoyed it for some decenia, now! And, I don't have the fears you state, either. Before commenting in stereotype fashion; without any space for anything else; do some research or leave space for some options and be wiser. In an other comment of mine I stipulated that I come from a background without any addictions (I don't have any myself), and without any conflicts at all. It sounds strange but it's true. So, my 'measuring bar' is very different and more flexible to most people. Plus, as I'm in gratitude and authentic kindness (not for a strategic reason) people who feel this want to have some too!! Which is logical. Only, the masses don't really know how to go about with such beautiful qualities, and don't take care to handle righteously. That's got nothing to do with me, but with themselves. I realized very early, I bring people into awakening, if they wish to.
I'm absolutely not afraid of being alone, never have been, nor people pleasing just to be liked, (I never do something that way), nor any of the other stereotype traits you name, that are very limiting. There are other factors we don't always have in our hands, that can play a role in human exchanges. Luckily, we aren't all the same, and luckily when we do love deeply we can tolerate and go beyond things one wouldn't do otherwise. This is important in human exchanges and human development. It aquires extreem emotional stability to be with someone who is less stable, too. There are so many variations and variables in a relationship, things aren't black nor white!! We aren't robots (yet).
If I wanted to be alone all my life, I would've chosen a secluded life, far from anyone. But, even if I'm better alone, I like to share and exchange with others. My aim is to find a like-minded group of people and a great and kind like-minded life partner. There's nothing wrong with that, on the contrary! I have been through some extremely enduringly human situations, non chosen, that made me come out even wiser and even more grounded than I already was before. Kindness and authenticity are virtues not many people have anymore. Non calculating and spontaneous good behavior is very rare nowadays, too. This is why so many things become so complicated between humans.
Next time you react or comment, think and be wiser before writing. Thanks.
6:29 "Respect requires tension and friction." I like that quote, never heard of it.
" There's no right or wrong answer here , just two people with different values."
That literally made me realize so much about everything, thank you
Sometimes just shifting perspective can bring so much clarity. Appreciate your message.
“I would rather be respected than liked.” Amen!! ❤️🙏👍
I’m an actress and model and I always bring up the kind of experience you mentioned in your video.
Men think they want to date models and actresses but don’t realise what comes with that job; she travels alone to places where she works with handsome men, gets invited to events where there are successful men, and needs to do intimate work with good looking men…this is why many models and actresses are single :) men don’t realise dating one isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and might challenge their egos a little..
Thanks for sharing your insight. Dating someone in your profession definitely comes with its own set of challenges, and it’s important for men to understand that.
The hardest one is boundary setting in general. People think they know what a boundary is but it turns into avoidance, deflecting, blame shifting, or controlling the other person. It sometimes creates a double standard in some cases. Define clearly what a boundary is, but also what it is NOT, first.❤
A boundary is anything the other person doesn’t want you to do to them.
Boundary is something that will make you regret you have crossed it or allowed someone to cross it if you imagine it can happen. Sometimes you would think you’d be OK but once the damage is done you’d feel differently- and this may happen if small amounts of boundary violations pile up. For this one needs self respect and respect to others, high value standards of ethics and morality but this need to be understood deeply rather than superficially.
The short answer is - Know Thyself and you’d know your own boundaries (no one else matters and their respective boundaries).
A difficult yet very important boundary for me is around female friends/clients. What do you do if you express that you are feeling uncomfortable around this topic and the other person seems to ignore it? A boundary without consequences is worth nothing. A video around the topic of possible consequences would be amazing.
This is imp topic to consider ismaeel
I feel like this is the key to building genuine connections. Understanding someone’s emotional needs is a game-changer in any relationship.
"i would rather be respected than liked" ✊👍
Awesome video! I especially liked the part about how boundaries will create tension and how it should be expected.
Exactly. Never run away from tension.
@@SaveTheMessengersee thats when i back diwn 😢
Really needed this right now. Thank you. It reaffirmed my decision to set a boundary that I’ve been overthinking for weeks.
You just made me smile. I'm glad to hear that.
I know all of this. But it's been about 8 years since learning and implementing thess things and I needed this refresher. My marriage just hit it's first rough patch. 7 years in. Out of nowhere. For seemingly no reason. Make sure you remind yourself what you need out of life. And what you'll accept.
Definitely struggle with time and energy boundaries…..
For sure…
Learning not to take in other’s emotional baggage….
Both romantic and platonic 🌻
A little bit of discomfort when setting boundaries at first creates a lifetime of comfortably content partnership, personally and professionally. If we fail to do this, we can end up committing to a life of misery and angst, while making other people who do not deserve our attention very happy. Let's not do it. I especially liked that couple who encourage us to ask questions. One thing I have learned is not to get too involved with people who evade basic, neutral questions about themselves, particularly if they introduced the subject you are questioning. They want to brag, but are hoping you will be charmed rather than interested. Here's a question: why?😂😂😂
I want more videos on male psychology. Why most of them pulls away or start showing less affection after a month of dating for example. It's like when they feel like they have won your heart.. their interest goes down. I want your opinion about this matter. Thanks in advance.
Not all men. Just two types. First, emotional unavailable men who after they hunt you down and should start having emotional connection pull back out of fear (childhood drama). Second, men who only have the intention to hunt and loose interest after getting you... both not relationship material. I found the third one... unicorns... my husband still values me after more then five years... it's possible.
@ireefree2024 Glad to hear about your happiness 😊 you are so lucky. Now my question is that how to recognise such men? I don't know why am I attracting the same manipulative emotionally unavailable men towards me.. It's become a pattern. I don't know how to change this.
@Achiever22 Honest answer? You will have an attractions towards this men because of unfinished childhood issues. It could be big things but also small things where you felt neglected. So unconsciously you choose men who trigger these feelings. You should heal that wound and accept it (therapy if is a big issue for example my parents are alcoholics). Also if you find a man where you don't feel butterflies but other values fit give him another change (don't misunderstand me, you should find him attractive but he doesn't do push and pull and he is consequent in his behavior and priorities you). What happened to me is that then I started to push my husband away because peace was so unfamiliar too me too. So in my case only therapy helped.
@@Achiever22 Honest answer? You will have an attractions towards this men because of unfinished childhood issues. It could be big things but also small things where you felt neglected as a child. So unconsciously you choose men who trigger these feelings. You should heal that wound and accept it (therapy if is a big issue for example my parents are alcoholics). Also if you find a man where you don't feel butterflies but other values fit give him another change (don't misunderstand me, you should find him attractive but he doesn't do push and pull and he is consequent and priorities you without loveboming). What happened to me is that then I started to push my husband away because peace was so unfamiliar too me too. So only therapy helped me and self reflection also videos like this one. It's now for entertainment back then it was life changing.
@ireefree2024 Thank you for your kindness and such insightful reply ☺️ It will be helpful in self reflection 🪞
Thank you. Conservative, ethical, moral. You set your bar high and expect the same.
It is better to be alone and at peace w one's soul, self, spirit, than to let another distespect you by disregarding your boundaries and sowing seeds of selfreproach.
Be careful lending money to friends or people you are dating because it will create distortions of hierarchy in the relationship. If a friend is really in a bind, give them what you are willing to part with as a gift. Then never mention it again. You will most likely get the favor returned to you in some significant way. But if you get asked for a loan a second time and you were not repaid in some way for the first, decline. You are being used. Never lend more than you are willing and able to lose.
Never lend money. Period. Only people with no knowledge, wisdom and parents who tought them these skills, will follow your idiotic " advice" you are nobody's doormat and that's from the start. So don't advice to be stupid 1 time and even give the money, and just cut them off 2nd time, just because a loser asked you this, you don't have to message his problems your problem, especially money, friends don't ask you money. Energy vampires, and loser only do this. Look for better friends.
Because this is exactly how weakminded people get used, abused and scammed.
Great advice Ismael! I struggle with a lot of these boundaries. I am getting better and stronger. Thank you. ❤
You are strong, courageous and sublime. Keep learning.
I struggle with Physical boundaries. I've had people that I have put those boundaries in place with and they've yelled at me or tried to manipulate me into it, at the time I was only young and it was considered grooming but because of that I'm 20 years old and have only just learned to set boundaries.
Now every night when I go to bed, I hear Ismael’s voice saying, “if you want to change your relationships, you need to change.” 😂
Great video!
Your subconscious mind is slowly shifting and I'm glad to be part of it.
Thank you Ismaël from France ❤️
Once again a GREAT video!! The one I struggle with the most with my LDR is Time and Energy. He likes to be the first to end our conversation, and does not seem to like it when I do it first, but I see your point and I will do it first from now on. We talk 5 nights a week.
Ismael, thanks so much for this one! I need more of this - healthy boundaries - my weakest the same as what you mentioned. Please talk more about this subject. Thanks for your videos, they make a difference !
I'll keep making more about this in the future. Thanks for your comment.
I have kinda a hard time setting boundaries however due to your advice I finally was able to set some and stick to them. Thank you for your advice.
This deserves so much more likes! 🎉
I am 36 right now, I wish I knew you in my early 20s.
Don't feel this way
I'm 20 and I feel I wish I knew this when I was 18 . I think we always feel like we r late .
when you were 20 he was still in kindergarten ;-)
I'm 35, so I wish I had known this back in my 20s as well haha
I like that u get right to the point and the videos are not that long. Thanks! 😊
Glad you like them.
I love looking at your videos !! Where were you when I needed 2 hear all this !? I am Happily single now and do not have 2 worry about any of this !! Thank you many blessings
I’ve struggled with quite a bit but mostly intimacy and sexual boundaries bc even if I don’t WANT to do something I ALWAYS end up feeling like i HAVE to bc I want them to like me, even if I feel uncomfortable!!!!
Thank you... it helps to hear it very clear... I would prefer in detail the topic about financial boundaries ... other than spending behaviour what other actions to watch to assess the other person to be safe... thank you...
Thank you...for guidance I think it's my energy finds you... best content on UA-cam that i ever watched.very helpful.
I'm not a "needy" person, however, I do have needs. I go without them for so long I may come off needy. I try to explain, but it usually doesn't work. Men think I'm lying, and just hiding my insecurities
Yes, it's a tricky thing, the nowadays interactions. In any kind of way. Spontaneity or intuitive handling doesn't seem to have any value anymore. Although that's what makes relationships so interesting and much easier than all this strategic thinking before doing. We aren't robots (yet), and have feelings still. Although in most people these are totally distorted, alas...😞
Good luck to you, from a friend. 🤗
STOP caring what these manchildren on the DL think. They are almost all abusers and users of women. Dating is = prostituting yourself to low level makes who are mean, immature, disrespectful and just don't give f about women and only want s3x. That's why communication with them often feels like flogging a dead horse.
They drain your energy, negative or positive they don't care, even trough texting, talking while they play stupid or even thinking thinking/ worrying any them... leave them where they belong, if they can't even hold a civil normal, treasury's l respectful conversation. It's a red flag of being an abuser.
6:30 Best Advice ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for the illustration
Thank you Ismael ❤
Thank you Ismael
Thanks for sharing this wisdom
No bubble! Just be yourself! And believe in yourself!
Thank you Ismael this is helpful
Glad to hear that. Always my pleasure.
Thank you so much for this 🙏🏻
This was a really insightful video and I loved how you broke down the video into different kind of categories and boundaries.
Thanks, Ismael. GOD bless you.
Thank you. This was wonderful. I have been repeating the same boundary violation. Financial. I know it, but I run.
Excellent explanation... Agree with you 👍
again amazing, helpful video. i love your visual metaphors, as a visual learner it really helps me grasp concepts. you speak clearly and your points are always punchy and effective. you are based
Gracias. Feliz año Nuevo
Hi Ismael,
Your content is so informative, helpful and healthy thank you for sharing your views, values and experiences. I've been learning a lot about the male mind and needs and I would appreciate a video of shy/introverted/inexperienced men very much as I think they show their intrest a little more suble- if at all- and how they pursue a woman/relationship as they seem to be less aggressive in progressing things. Thank you in advace and all the best.
I noticed some men after moving on with another woman or even get married would still want to connect with their ex or female friends.
That doesn't go well with me. If you have moved on, then detach from me physically.
I set this boundary with a male friend and he started trying to be serious with me.
Why would a man not want a commitment with a lady and at the same time does not want to lose her?
Please i need answers
Another great vid of yours.
About the emotional boundaries - what do you do when you disclose your feelings and you are being dismissed? Like do you just say you expect more, for them to say x and y?
Point out times in the past when he acknowledged your feelings and let him know you appreciated it. Explain that this is why you hope for the same understanding now.
@@SaveTheMessenger Oh thank you for your answer Ismael! 😍🎀😇
Very helpful. I understand and will try to implement it 🙏👍✨
5:38 much respect to you ❤
"Stop multitasking" is one of the most commonly used phrases in your videos. I somewhat agree (because it raises your dopamine too high and kind of makes you addicted to drama), but ... I gotta say, I am also a busy mom and a wife. If I didn't multitask, I'd probably not have anything done. Do you have advice for people with a shortage of time ..?
Thank you for all of your great videos. My husband enjoys them, too.
Greetings from Europe.
Never forget to schedule time for yourself, even if it’s just 10 minutes to breathe or read a book. Your well-being is the foundation that supports everything else. One tip I often see successful women implement is planning their entire day the night before, ensuring they block some free time into their schedule. Does that make sense?
@@SaveTheMessenger it does, thank you. I will try to schedule the time to make schedule for the next day. 😉
Thanks for your advice
I have been struggling with time and energy boundaries alot
gracias
Physical intimacy part. Guys want to get hookup on the first date itself, not much of a comfort zone for me.
Who cares what they want! Do you! Set your standards high! You will find the right men!!!
This is very informative videos
Thank you, glad you found it informative.
Emotional boundary is the one that challenges me. I want to be there for my guy when he complains and always try to be there for him. But it does feel draining, and i also fear that if I can’t understand him or fully be there for him, he may turn to other women. What to do with this situation? Bc i have encountered many circumstances in the past that guys find comfort from me when they feel down, while they are in relationships with others or are even married😢
When I set a boundary, men think it’s a mood and ignore it the following day. My boundaries are not moods and not negotiable in many instances -deal breakers. How do you make it clear it’s firm, every day!
Okay this video is going to be interesting I think I may need it, let's gooo guys
You make helpful videos👍
I m writing these in notebook
My boundary watching this is that I am going to multitask while watching you (eating cashews at the same time) :-)
Almonds are better...
Super advice
theres this weird toxic dichotemy these days, where it seems people are so obessed with forming intimacy or setting boundaries.....and neither of these things seems to happen both naturally and healthfully and safely. i think theres more to life than boundaries and intimacy... theres something inbetween thats just peaceful and doesnt have any expectations or needs and doesnt make any demands or even request....
Ismael thanks. It sounds good, in theory. But, with so many huge boundaries there's no room left for spontaneity. Nor for intuitive feelings. Nor for a man to reflect and change his behaviour. Or?
For example, if a really kind man on the whole wants to go out together, but cancels a few times because of reasons like not enough organisation (for money, time, being in a difficult situation like no stable housing, work, etc...), should one immediately not even listen to what he has to say? And cut off dry? If he doesn't see it the same way, (that it's not a big problem to cancel for him), shouldn't one put a bit of water in the wine?
I love my own company, and have always preferred being on my own. I also come from a very healthy background without conflict at all. Sounds strange but it's true.
But we aren't meant to be alone all our lives. Otherwise, I would've chosen a hermits life, far from other humans. Things in life aren't so black or white. Plus, in my case, I don't easily like any kind of man, so the rare times when I do I'm so glad to meet a match that my natural very high boundaries weaken. Which is logical.
I also find all this strategic stuff so tiring and even counter intuitive, in love. 😔
Also, I've fled some types of men, whom I never ever wanted to have in my life. (Losers, extremists, players, etc..) I easily fled them like the plague for decenia. Only to suddenly find myself in one of those relationships head over heels in love! This is just to show you we can't control everything. It's not like going shopping in a supermarket!! 😆 Destiny is in our lives too! And that's to meet your karmic or soulmates with whom one has made a spiritual contrat before coming here. One should forget that.
Emotional boundary and respect....
I had let him treat me like my emotions don't matter....
So can't blame him ...
Not respecting someone's emotions is disrespectful and everything starts from there....
Frankly speaking al the pointers mentioned represents me that I faced these all issues fiancial issues must and , unfortunately but being wise got to know i fall and love a casenova,.. Disrespectful guy he is especially to me since beginning always takes test of my endurance.
I struggle with the destructive criticism I get from my husband. He is very blunt and makes personal remarks about my behavior and attitude when I make mistake. (Even on small mistakes)
For example, I went for a shopping and bought a thing for $18 which not useful for now. He says “ how do you manage work at your workplace your manager must be having hard time with you! I generally keep quiet and don’t argue much when he does that to avoid tense situations.
When he sees me upset he tries to cheer me up through different things but doesn’t talk about his rude behavior.
Please someone guide me how should I respond to him and teach him my emotional boundary??
they overlook ebooks like Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki because its insights on attraction challenge conventional thinking
The thing is I think we women genuinely dp all this with people we don't love . And that makes them fall for us . But what's the use ? We don't have boundaries with the ones we love ..
I got cancelled once this guy came back later and when I asked he said he had an emergency at work? I feel right now I am teaching him boundaries, but I am cautious.
This is so cool thanks but how do i get my man who was good wr are in a long distance relationship he always was make me feel that he desires me. But 8t stopped all the other things is still very good but this is tricky is he ovetworked there you can give as info cause i love your videos thanks❤
Plz let us know how to set those boundaries in real life as in aisian culture it is very difficult for a girl to set those boundaries?
Boundaries are the same for everyone 😂
Nothing lik asian american
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Sir will your adives or steps work ..if he is like lost intrest in me but responses to me every time I talk ..but not ready to commit to me
In India if we woman set boundaries, friends,family, man everyone will run away and villanise. We as Indians not yet civilised as like the other top world countries.
That is so sad!
Men get angry and get a power trip when you set boundaries, even though it has nothing to do with them, it’s not about the, but make it about them.
Number 1
👍
When they bring up the subject of money, I’ve learned to say “you are a smart man, I know you’ll figure this out”
Then I’m out of there
reading the ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki could completely shift how you see and apply the principles of attraction
Ismael, what do I say to a man who says he's obsessed with me, wants to marry me, consistently plans dates even though we are in an LDR, but also says : In my culture, a man doesn't provide for a woman before she is my wife.
Be careful.
Not for a narcissist
no one talks about the ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki because its take on attraction is too raw and real for most to handle
❤
I'm that person and my person never trust me because of my my high value nature😅
💙
Lol I met someone who defy all this😂
I had to unsubscribe to your channel because of the experience I had with some fraudster last year who was impersonating you. He sent his number on this channel and later asked me to send him money. I was furious and decided to unsubscribe...i was afraid of not having to deal with the same issue.
The real truth is your videos are so great and helpful but I am asking that you put more security in place for your channel...there are lots of scammers out there and not everybody is smart enough to know their dirty tricks.
Thanks in advance🙏
the truth about attraction in the ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki is so powerful that most people don’t know what to do with it
Time and energy boundaries. Have this guy that I used to see and he would cancel like three times in a row and then he would come over. I like him so much. But I stopped seeing him because he keeps doing that. I really like him.
I have trouble with my time for him. He expects me to be around him majority of the time when he wants, but when it comes to me, I realized that he breadcrumbed me, came up with excuses. When I can't be around him much, he retaliates, makes me chase him, pretends he didn't see me, interacts with other women in an effort to make me jealous (not that I am), not answer calls/messages, more like punish me, as if I have done a mistake. I am starting to understand that he is toxic!
if more people read the ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, the way we understand attraction would transform overnight
I have asked questions and never received answers. He would change the subject or say do we have to talk about it today?
He's emotional disconnect and will not dig up the hurt he has inside... it's difficult to be with such man...
When you asked these questions, was he busy or tired? Sometimes, I have to wait a day before talking over things. I just say, "hey, I have something that's on my heart. When do you think is a good time for me to tell you?"
But I also had someone run from a hard conversation for 3 WEEKS.. had to let that one go. He is now in a relationship 😂 I am happy it isn't me😊
Men listen to your actions. Withdraw, pull back, stop messaging him, stop calling, stop going to his house, close your legs. He will listen
@@Chrisia-Queens if you need to be passive aggressive to get his attention then call off the relationship. I'm happy married and when I need to talk about my emotions my husband listens to me. If you have to play games you'll only interact with a hurt child and are on the same level as he is.
I’m not an expert, and I don’t know what questions you’re asking…. But maybe you’re not asking the right questions that “speaks” his love language to get him to open up.
I’d never marry an actor either, for many reasons
Do you think a man is playing games when he change his mind to marry a particular lady just because she wanted more time to bound
“Stop. Give me your full attention.”
😜🤭😁
But ismael, will you ever ask your woman money jokingly just to see how she responds or not even that?