How Long Does It Take To Get Your Ex Back?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 сер 2024
- In this video, Clay Andrews answers the question "How Long Does It Take To Get Your Ex Back"
Ex Solution Program: modernlove.life/esp
==========================
Work with me:
Connect and Commit: modernlove.life/connect-and-c...
What to say to turn potentially devastating situations with your ex into opportunities for connection
Ex Solution Program: modernlove.life/esp
Navigate your ex’s emotional world to build a stronger connection and inspire commitment for lasting love
Compatibility Code: modernlove.life/cc
Overcome the pain of your breakup to build a new possibility for love with your ex or with someone new
Coaching: modernlove.life/coaching
Work with us to develop a custom solution for your current situation
==========================
Follow me:
Email newsletter: modernlove.life/newsletter/
UA-cam Subscribe: ua-cam.com/users/Relation...
Amazon: www.amazon.com/Clay-Andrews/e...
Facebook: / 666769470572030
iTunes Podcast: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/c...
==========================
There are so many "coaches" on the internet that claim to find answers on how to get your ex back. Some people decide on who to listen to depending on who gives the quickest way to get them back together with their ex. But the thing is, there are many factors that might affect the amount of time that it would take you to get back together with your ex but it will depend on you whether or not you are willing to put in the work to make it happen.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices. - Навчання та стиль
Thank you for watching this video. Remember that getting your ex back isn't about passively waiting for "enough" time to pass, but about actively giving them a good reason to want to get back together with you.
"broken shards of glass" -man, You tell this sentence in every clip You have made
Honestly Clay, of all the channels I've come across after my break-up, yours really is top notch. You discuss so much that so many just throw "no contact" over, like that solves all the issues that come with a break-up. Thanks for all that you have done and do, these videos have given me so much insight and helped me see a lot more in the bigger picture. I've been in therapy for my emotionally abusive past/ways I've adapted from that past that I inflicted upon my ex and you've helped so very much because it's a long road I'm on with this and just "not contacting her" doesn't cut it when there has been emotional damage that's been done to them. Take care man.
Hey Zathaniel, thank you very much for your kind words and we surely appreciate that. We are truly hoping that your journey will turn out well and we are proud that you are taking steps to work on your well-being too. :-)
How’d it turn out?
The broken chards of glass comment about no contact gets me every time 😂 I did no contact for 2 weeks, I was done after that! Glad I found your channel!
Thank you all for comments. I think it's a good topic. As clay says, hit the thumbs up on this as and my other comment to let him know
Thanks for that!
Thanks clay 😊 🙏🏻 your smart
🤜🏻🇬🇧🇺🇸🤛🏻
Very welcome. :-)
Hi there, thanks for all your videos
Yes its sometimes very hard to hold your pain when an ex taking long in every stage
Like my ex is in good connection but stays serious & doesnt look directly to me much in my eyes & dont like to open much so i skip emotional things & keep casual friendly chit chat
At times its hard but atleast hes talking to me & friendly to some point so i feel ok with it
Am i going in right direction ?
it is normal , Syeda. If you are interested, we can help you out in improving your connection through our course Es Solution Program. Have you checked on our course to see how it may help you?
According to u it's 6months or year?
The 4 people disliking this video were probably the disgruntled narcissist exes.
Clay, I have been following your advice and reached out asking for help, which he responded to and came over. I messaged him after and he has gone back to ignoring me again, we didn't talk about the breakup just what we had been up to. where do I go from here?
I am not really what happened on your communication but there may be something that you might want to check on your approach. What do you think you could have done better during your interaction?
Clay! Hope you like your new place!
Okay so... I did my second NC about 3+ month & i also reject to be friends with her. But after that 3 months of nc, she said" Hi Ly. You ignore me huh!" And i said hi with meh face. What should i do now. I'm scared!
Hi Ly, Just be honest with her. That what will matter the most. Explain to her why you did no contact and that you are not ignoring her. Try to ask your self, what is the main reason why you did Active No Contact? What are the things that you have learned for yourself?
@@ClayAndrews thanks clay but can i have another long term way?
So my ex and I have been broken up since May. We've talked just casually every now and then.
Just recently, she invited me to her birthday party at her place this month, it will be the first time we see each other since we broke up.
Why would she invite me? Is that a good sign?
It could be a good sign that your ex is opening up to you. But that doesn't mean that she wanted to get back together. Remember that getting back together is a process just like what we talk about inside our Ex Solution Program course. :-)
100% my situation also..hope you both get back together ❤️
Hey clay need advice not sure you’ll answer since this video is old but i really like ur advice compared to the other UA-camrs
My ex broke up with me 5 months ago, but before that things were bad we already were broken up for a few months before but it wasn’t official, we were tryna work through it. The break up was bad I begged for 2 months till she told me she wished we never dated and that we should’ve stayed friends(we dated for almost 4 years, officially 3) I went no contact for a month then we got back in contact to exchange r stuff etc we started talking a bit but she made it clear she doesn’t wanna be w me and that I was horrible to her which isn’t true she’s remembering stuff that didn’t even happen and making me out to be terrible, i did make some mistakes but not like what she’s saying, she also did a lot of wrong too but regardless I took responsibility anyways, we eventually started hanging out for about a week or 2 and she would ask me for favours and to hang sometimes till I started to flirt w her a bit and she started saying it’s hard to chill w me bc I like her and she just wants to be friends and I made the mistake of begging a bit a again asking her to just give me the chance to show her I be what she needs and it can work but she insisted that I can’t give her what she needs and she can’t give me what i needs and that it won’t work between us. Since then she’s been refusing to hang out and started leaving me on read or takes forever to reply, and if i don’t initiate the convo she won’t talk to me and her answers r very short it’s hard to get the conversation going she won’t open up to me idk what to do, I told her i wanna be friends to drop the pressure like u said in a different video but I’m not sure how to get her to want me again if she pulls away every time I flirt w her, I’ve been actively trying to get her back for 2 months now
She also told me immediately after the break up that maybe in the future we can be friends but rn she wants to focus on herself, so I’m worried that rn is just her being my friend and nothing more and that I’m wasting my time. She’s holding the past against me and said it doesn’t matter if I think differently now
Hi clay Iv been watching your videos for 3 months and they have helped me a lot, basically me and my ex were together for four years and during the covid she went to stay with her parents for a few weeks because they wouldn’t let her see them until the pandemic ends during this time the lockdown happened and I couldn’t see her and then when it came time for her to come home she told me she couldn’t leave her family it was too hard, I believe that manipulated her to staying there with guilt, me and her still txt every single day since the break up and we have a Snapchat streak that we have had since the day we first spoke but she said she’s not ready to be friends but we still txts once a day every day and she said she will talk as friends when she’s ready, do I still have a chance
She just said that to help your feelings. If she’s a grown woman she can leave when she wants too. Leave her ass alone no texting if she don’t want that love take it away she shouldn’t be rewarded.
Hi Stefan, Chance and hope will always be there. It will just depend on the actions that you will take and refuse to do.
Go no contact and work on yourself. She will be back when she sees her new life is not what she thought it would be.
Clay Andrews I meant dose it look like a good sign that we still speak every single day? I don’t know what actions to take next?
Hi Clay..I know you always talk about how trying to get back together with you ex is only worth it if you know you're a good fit. My ex and I dated for just one month before he decided we’re not a good fit due to the way we argue (as well as some emotional availability issues on both our parts on hindsight, due to our past experiences). He feels that he shouldn't change me and that we’re just intrinsically not suitable for each other. We still really like each other as people so he asked if I could stay friends with him and I agreed. However, I'd like to work on the way I handle conflicts and arguments, as well as my unresolved issues, and eventually, maybe give it another go? I feel like the single month we dated, on top of work stress and all, wasn't really fair to judge that we’re not suitable for each other.
What do you think? Am I blinded by feelings and pursuing something not good for me or us? Or is this something possibly worth pursuing?
Hi Melissa, I understand that you may be attached with him but the dating period ban be a time not just to know the person but to gauge the dynamics as well. There are people who after dating would realize that they are better off as friends than being involved romantically. But you can also take some of the feedback from him to focus on the changes that you have to take.
@@ClayAndrews thanks Clay! I see where you're coming from. It's just he has many qualities I adore and the way he handled our relationship was ideal to me. I don't think I've ever felt this sort of connection with any of my past relationships.
But I understand I need to focus on myself and work on myself before considering any of this again. Thanks Clay, your videos are helping me a lot. I might be joining the connect and commit course soon to improve my communications skills
Hey clay, im in a predicament. My ex is torn between me and her rebound who she’s known for a month. We dated for two years and she says shes 50/50 on the decision as of today. But yesterday, she said it was a no brainer to pick me. She left school to go back home for a few days to make up her mind so how do I make her choose me?
hey there, how bring yourself to the situation and will make a difference. People choose to be with us because we give them reasons to be with us. it is not about convincing them that they have to be with us. But it is about handling the situation in a more mature way.
@@ClayAndrews I am completely with you on this one but I would add that the fact that she is making him AWARE of the fact that she is considering either one of them is sheds light on her willingness to make him a participant of this choice. This to is cruel and deceptive. I would not advice any contact from now on. Keep her as an option not as a priority.
Hey Clay,
My ex has just told me that she can’t interact with me bc every time she does she feels like we’re dating again. I’ve tried getting her to focus on the emotional connection and not being relationship focused but she has made her mind up. She has basically ghosted me but 3 days ago wanted to be a “thing”. What is going on and what do I do?? Please help :(((
To elaborate, she says we can never “just” be friends bc of our history together so has decided to cut off all contact
Hi JM, It sounds like your ex felt that your interaction is too relationship focused. Remember, that it is generally better to approach her from a connection-focused way, rather than a relationship-focused (outcome-focused) way. That way she knows that you're interested in simply connecting. We talked about this inside the Ex Solution Program. have you checked our course already?
Clay Andrews I currently cannot afford it I am sorry. Im broke and in college. But how do I contact her now in a subtle way?
A subject to consider, and, I hope others may need this as well.
I have been reaching out only minorly, the other day, her BF contacted me, asking me to basically back off.
So, subject, what to do when exs rebound BF/GF contacts YOU during no contact
That sucks.
Depends on how much your ex is committing to the contact or interactions. If they are reaching out or are responsive and wanting to speak/hangout from their side it is probably the new person just being insecure. If your ex is really not engaging then you need to tread carefully because if you push contact that can create waves in the new relationship which your ex may blame you for. Either way I would ignore the new guy and keep going if mutual but don't talk bad about the person or insert yourself by contact when they are together. If not mutual I would back off for a bit
How would you handle the situation if ever the rebound would contact you?
Contact the Ex. Inform of this contact. This may indicate that there is manipulation at play. Having said that, be careful. The ex may have asked the new partner to do this to scare you off without feeling guilty.
Hey Clay I need help man. Me and my girlfriend broke up 2 weeks ago and there already a new guy hanging out with her 24/7. Im trying to break that basic level talking between us but im having a hard time. Me and my ex ha e been friends since we were 3 years old and we where in a 19 month relationship
Hey Xander, I understand that you may feel anxious regarding the presence of the other guy. That's why I can sense that you may be in the Damage Control Mode. Remember, the key to getting your ex back from a rebound isn't to "take down" the rebound. It is to show your ex that being with you is better than being with anyone else out there.
@@ClayAndrews ok thank you
I don’t want him back. I just want to be me again.
Sarah Benson no. I don’t think he can. It’s all about him.
@Deanna Jewell I understand you,,, I won’t be telling you if it hadn’t work for me
It is important to realize that he was a completely separate individual of whom you obviously benefited and were damaged by. The fact that you recognize that he was an important part of your feeling like yourself sheds light on some deeply ingrained issues you have to address in therapy.
Contacts this man and you will thank me later
@@sarahbill3085 I disagree. Contact will only heighten the fact they are not fit for each other. The relationship ended because one partner was too heavily dependent on the other. May it be for validation. resources or plain company we all engage in relationships out of convenience. The fact one partner can't feel like herself anymore indicates there is risk of developing a codependence dynamic that will damage the participants. Trust me I have seen this in my practice plenty of times.
I made out with my ex tonight, then I went to go for it again, she denied me. But she watched a movie with me and we were cuddled up. Then she said we should hang out again in 2 weeks. What stage do you think I'm in?
Sounds like Riding the Dragon for me. How about you, what stage do you think you may be?
@@ClayAndrews I would agree with you on that. What do you suggest I do from here?
It's been over a year. We still talk here and there but super disappointed today. Is my birthday and she hasn't said anything to me yet. Losing hope but she won't leave my psyche.
Hey man, I just wanted to say happy birthday! My ex gf didn't wish me a happy birthday 4 weeks ago and it really hurt. I understand.. do something fun for yourself. You matter
Happy Birthday Karl! Hang in there buddy. My Ex left me 4 months ago and I am still messed up. I miss her and I don't think she's coming back. I've been sick to my stomach since the break-up. I'm 54 and it's so hard to find someone. I feel like I will be alone forever and I am frightened.
@@kingbradicus thank you man! It surely hurts and I have been dating still but damn. I do appreciate your encouraging words!
@@davidv.3135 Thank you for the good words! I am sorry to hear about things for you going bad too man. It really is tough and so many of these gals are age are jaded and put up emotional walls since they have been hurt so much. I know we will both be ok David and we will find the right woman. Prayers for you brother!
@@davidv.3135 you can get her back
I've given up... I told her everything that I did wrong, and she accepted my apology... she said she just can't go down that road again as I hurt her too much... so I haven't spoken too her nearly 2 weeks, I refuse to put my life on hold anymore, waiting by the phone, and this is what I told her, and tbf I feel less stressed, I'll just carry on with my life and she can do the same, I honestly think I'm over her...
Hi Paul, We understand that it took a lot of courage and commitment to make that decision. Remember that our goal for everyone here is to have a healthy and strong relationship that we all deserve. It may be with our ex, or with someone new in the future.
My ex is in a new relationship with a friend of mine and I have to see them everyday at school cuddling. They only became official 3 weeks ago and only a month ago she was telling me she still loved me. It hurts so much as I still love her. We have been broken up for 9 months
I'm sorry to hear about what happened. I hope you are taking even a single step each day to truly heal. Sending more positive energies on your end.
Clay Andrews thank you, I’m pretty sure it might be a rebound as we were still sleeping together not long before she got into this new relationship but I’m not going to worry about it as I’m focusing on myself
@@b3n_coulson738 if she’s dating your friend let it go.
@@IndiansAuto don’t worry bro I’m well over her now and extremely happy with where I am I’m life, time does heal
@@b3n_coulson738 great man I’m happy for you, 2 months since my break up and she’s offering friendship. I don’t want it so I’m at a point where I’m trying to move forward.
I texted my ex and ask her to put me on restraining order today so my name can be remove out of the apartment lease and all she said was soon soon but she never does it. then started saying all this stuff to me I don’t love or think about you anymore blah blah then calls me fatass lol i haven’t talk to her for 2 months once in while I’ll text her see how she doing but all she do it just yell and cuss me out . Like why? Why are you even mad at me for?
It is easier for some individuals to get angry at you than to own up to their own mistakes. She might also be looking for a confrontation as she already has the upper hand if any should arise. There are legal implications that you may consider as there is a restraining order. Contact a lawyer. I advice against any further contact without any legal consultation. Remember that she has taken steps towards removing you from her life. This took time an effort from her part.