S1 E42. talking to my ex about my sexuality
Вставка
- Опубліковано 19 жов 2021
- what's good, good people? i was more comfortable than I thought I would be during this conversation. let me know your thoughts in the comments.
don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe!
Melanie’s instagram: / itsmelmitch
grab your shirt:
www.obioojones.com/shop
hoody: lbefitness.com/
email: info@obioojones.com
website: www.obioojones.com
instagram: / obioojones
tiktok: / obiojones
twitter: / obioojones
She is me in evolving learning to unpack and take yourself out of the equation. Respecting, understanding and support ones journey! 🤗🤗🤗
That was a word she poured out... "Your platform was waiting on you to be you to blossom."
She's hilarious. 😂 Social media be telling the real business.
It’s the fact that everyone that we see in his life is so positive and we can see their heart through the words that they say❤️ Such a great host of people!!!!
Yes I can agree
I love her truth and recognizing that she needed to question herself about why she had the mind set that she did.
I love this whole conversation!!! OMG!!! Not enough of this conversation happening amongst adults.
I love your friend. She is so open minded and is a beautiful black woman having a real important conversation with you. Expressing herself and expressing her take on queerness. We need more women like her. She's the moment
This convo was SOOOOOOOOOO real! Felt it. ESPECIALLY her message at the end.
I'm like when she said she had to unpack and sit with herself was deep and real. But this whole convo is just amazing and good itself it's real.
I love how she thinks. I feel some women who do not want to date bisexual men are fearful. Fearful that they won’t be enough because they have been conditioned to believe any attraction to a male means you’re gay full stop. If we ever manage to remove gender from sexual orientation, it will create more fluidity and it will be based on how a person connects with someone. So, if a person connects with you and they are committed to you, despite their desires (whether same sex or opposite sex) they will uphold their word. I feel if more women take this approach it can help remove fear of dating someone bisexual.
Don't you think cis het women have a right to prefer cis het men in relationships?
@@dugebuwembo Of course! But if a cis het women meets a guy and they grow to like him, they connect with him, and ultimately wants to be with him; why would that change after finding out he’s bisexual? You say preference, but what is the basis of that preference if everything else checks out? Is it fear? Do they feel he’s less of a man? To me, outside of physical attraction (it can go either way), I think there is almost always a basis to someone’s preference and I think it boils down to either fear, bias, trauma, or discomfort.
@@Chineywhale you ate that‼️
@@Chineywhale ifl that is why most cis gay men prefer only cis men as well
@@khaynxafir8425 haha thanks. I think that in some cases gay men may fetishized hetero men if that’s what you’re asking.
This one really got me. So many of these questions I’ve wanted to ask and you guys took them out of my mouth. Keep creating space!!
I LOVE the the fact that they are so transparent and authentic toward each other. Good vibes✔✔✔
I like her, and the fact that she is willing to learn & unlearn certain behaviors....this was a good video....need to spread this around❤❤❤
As a fan of Mel’s OG podcast and your content this is the video I’ve been waiting for lol 😂. Already know it’s going to be good
This is awesome. Clearly you are a great person and keep great people around you because they all have positive but true things to say! This is awesome clearly you have been creating space for far before your brand! Keep being you man!
I loved this conversation . it dived deep into alot of the intersectionalities and inherent biases we have towards bisexual men in paticular . Obio is doing gods work , just the transperancy and the honesty is amazing . I'm also happy he has such self reflective and intelligent individuals around him . This is what black people need . These are the conversations that need to be had . Always a supporter bro keep doing your thing
I love this conversation and Melanie's open-mindedness, in this video and the more recent one. She just seems like such an evolved, amazing person.
This is freaking amazing... such a needed conversation...ughhh, I could go to sleep to this conversation...
The maturity this lady displays had me in literal tears. Thank you for having this conversation.
Wow. Seeing you two communicate authentically is so inspiring.
Sweet embrace, Loving that Melanie is in a space to push away homophobic feelings or attitudes. She has an open heart to give you space versus having you repress your feelings under social pressures.
This has to be my 21st video. I've been binge watching since UA-cam suggested a video from your channel. Well done bro! New fan from South Africa.
NOT the sound effects when she said you were in her starting five. LMAO I love your channel and these videos! I feel like I'm learning something everytime I come to your page.
Excellent....Love the fact that you two are able to talk this way.....
This was a very good one. I sent it to my ex girlfriend so that we could continue the dialogue.
I just found your channel and have watched a handful of your videos in rapid succession. You put out a calm, stoic kind of demeanor. But your interaction with Melanie brings out a different side of you, and it's kind of hilarious.
Beauty & Brains, she is beautiful and I love her approach to the whole situation! Unfortunately, most women aren’t mature enough to handle a topic such as this or willing to become knowledgeable but I love the fact that she is! Super dope content, this might be my favorite episode!
This is such a necessary conversation. Thank you.
She's amazing, we need her more often. 🌴
This is the ONLY time I've seen/heard a public conversation between a black gay/queer man talk to one of his ex's about her reaction to his coming out!. Amazing! Kudos to you both!
man, she's sooo cool. What a beautiful soul. ❤️
She is hilarious! I had a similar experience just never had this dialogue with my ex girlfriend. Dope to watch! ❤️
I think its' obvious why you two were together!!! The two of you are natural together!!!!
Great conversation, love the honesty. Genuine & sincere.
This convo is dope super relatable O!
She is LITERALLY what he said she was attracted to. A nice person!!!! She overstood - stepping outside of herself to realize she needed to work beyond traditional doubts. “I’mma unpack my s**t, but good fuh him!” Seeking understanding beyond what we’ve been taught is a trait of a trailblazer!
I absolutely love her energy ❤️
This felt good. Thanks for sharing!
Love you both!
Such a healthy convos. Particularly liked the question "Do you think most black women think like you?" [Paraphrased] And the answer "Oh no!". This is so correct! And yet, this is not just an issue for blacks.
Very proud of you Obio! Keep discovering yourself xx
17:41, now let's talk about it. There are men out there who have affinity with women but settled for men because women denied them the opportunity to date them. I'm reminded of an interview that Lee Daniels did in 2009 when he said he'd prefer to be bisexual. He explained that despite having a deep connection with women, none of them would pursue him romantically. It makes me wonder how many queer men stopped pursuing women for that same reason.
A bunch
I don't think this is a fair thing to say because people have a right to choose who they want to be with, period. If someone thinks they settled, that's on them. That can't be someone else's fault
Dude... this is like a self fulfilling prophecy. A lot of women aren’t interested in bi guys thinking that they might look for men, which leads those bi guys to basically leave the straight dating pool to LOOK FOR MEN! The cycle continues. I am bisexual. It’s hard enough to meet a woman and then bring that up and see if she’s ok with it. Men are hard too, but I never had an issue from a dude about my orientation. I can’t say the same
About women
If that was the case then there would be a lot more men with men, men literally are turned down statistically by the 10s of thousands on a daily basis for a multitude of reasons, ie height, weight unattractivness, financial requirements etcetera.
@@derricklangford4725 sir, all of what you stated a women can deal with, most can’t deal with their man being attracted to other men.
Wait because now she’s my friend in my head 😂 she’s hilarious! Side note: I had this conversation with my ex and she said she knew and the main reason she got with me was because I was fine and she thought eventually I was gone let her strap me 🥴 THEY BE KNOWING.
A women’s intuition is strong, we can ignore it until we can’t lol. You could cough in the wrong tone and we get a feeling lol. It’s so annoying!!
This is a great conversation! I agree with others here who are saying that a whole lot more conversations like this need to be happening. I too am a Kinsey 6, but when I was very young it was clear that I "liked" young women/girls more than most of the boys my age. They were often obnoxious, homophobic, and unkind. Why would I "like" them? Buuuut, then there's the down-to-it issue of sexual attraction. People start to conflate these two things in a weird homophobic way - "well, you seem to 'like' girls more than you 'like' boys, I'm just sayin' ...". It was confusing for a young teen. And I didn't have the "ick" factor - I didn't find girls/women's bodies disgusting, I just didn't find them sexually a turn on. Since so many young gay men (at least when I was young) were very negative about women's bodies and parts it confused me. Until it didn't. 🙂
Gosh I often feel so lost in the journey even at 53. It's definitely a quandary of an experience. But nevertheless, this was good guys. ❤🥰
I'm 62 and all this is hard to make sense of especially when your doing alone.
@@johnsonkevin32 Agreed man. Agreed.
Yo !!!!! She is funny as hell … I really enjoyed it ❤️
Love this.... thank you for showing all the spectrums of gay black men.
Ever think of doing a video of interacail relationships 🤔?
This was so good. She was great.
"being fine is a previlidge as well" I am completely laughing.... I mean you is fine, Obio(.... real talk) but it came up sooo much that I spent half the time laughing about it.
Enjoyed this conversation!!
Look at those BEAUTIFUL people beautiful babies.
Ive seen a few videos from you on here. You seem to be an interesting person all the ways. Like watching and listening to you(your topics you talk about or just describe seeing your eyes/head&heart).Best regards. Greetings from Europe, Germany-Poland
Wow! I'm so glad that I found your page; this is real talk...!!!!!
Loved her!!
GREAT conversation 👏👏😊
~Love this!!
Yes Friend flipping the interview on him and making him put out a longer video!
This was great. Again.
great points made in this video
She is great and smart.
Bro, could you talk about how some women would instantly accept the more feminine and flamboyant gays but they have a problem if a man is masculine and gay
GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT conversation!
Hey Obio, love u and your content 💯😚
In tour walk of life and experience have you have you came across masculinity and femininity meaning what is your stance on masculine only wanting like minded masculine and vice versa. Or masculine dating feminine. Like my preference is masculine "straight actin". What is your stance or opinion I really would like to here about.
I like her, she is the moment
"A comment from 72 weeks prior..." girls be sensing for real!
she dope! Much love.
And I follow them both on Tiktok! Never knew…
Appreciated this
Omg I use to have such a big crush on him when I was a freshman at Albany state.
I would love to hear this conversation with one of your ex girlfriends you were intimate with to hear her thoughts. This young lady is very well read and open to humanity.
So would I, I don’t think they’d be as “understanding “ as this young lady. Her perspective is great and inclusive, but definitely not the perspective of most heterosexual women.
@@ldanyallararebreed9723 thats because they weren’t intimate, I think it would be different if they were.
This interview can be a case study of folk’s clocking others’ gayness
dope conversation
See , THIS is a conversation
She’s invited to the ball!!
Great conversation. It needs to be had in the black community.
AND white
This was such a healthy conversation
Love love how he explained there are some feminine gay men who might want to explore bi sexual feelings but worry about women rejecting them.
C’mon production!!!
I like her! I wish you were Bi because y’all would be a bomb couple!
Wow! Great conversation! Is Melanie an Aquarian? Deep two ex's can have the genuine and brutally honest conversation you had! So as the Aquarian thinks today.... thus will man think in 10 years!!!! So where's the link to get my "creating space" T-shirt Obi?
I’m a cancer! Lol.
@@TheBaddestMitch Cancers are cool! I'm an Aquarian (2/17) and my best friend is a Cancer! He understands me like a twin sibling! We don't have "ESPN" (LOL), but it comes close!!!!! Melanie either way you are awesome, genuine, and the real deal!!!!
black women always know
5:52 It me! It me 😩
Obio - I need that hoodie! Where can I buy it?
hey! i linked it in the description. really comfortable too!
Curious, how is she your ex but yall was never intimate with each other? Was that something yall agreed upon becuz it sounds like a friendship than bf/gf vibes ...great conversation tho 🧡
Whatttt she dated Obio ??? Werkkkkk Sis !!! She ate that up 😌
While I get that gay men still have a hard time coming out please stop leading straight women on. She didn’t mind but it will be hurtful to many women. Men, gay and straight, need to stop using women for their needs and then discarding of us. If you want us to be your allies you also need to be allies to us. Despite what she said it isn’t only about you. Women have feelings too
i hear you and hope that other men/boys feel more empowered in their truth so that they don’t feel the need to hide behind women. 🤎
I also think that gay men need to understand that their betrayal if it happens that way comes in line with a list of other betrayals done by men. How can women ally with you if treat them just like the straight men.
I also dated a chick in college that was bisexual (maybe even gay) but never told me nor her other ex boyfriend. Perhaps she was trying to find herself.
We all found out years later. Do I feel betrayed? No .
Quit claiming betrayal or victim-hood. People at a younger age may not even know themselves and sexuality can be fluid and does evolve.
The problem is that many of you BLk women need to be less bigoted, hateful and ignorant. Acting like the man somehow realizing perhaps he’s bisexual is a crime.
If yall never had sex, then it doesnt count. Just really close platonic friends. Sex is what makes a romantic relationship!!!!!
That’s why she was easy to have this conversation with.
I love her so much lol.
💚
Melanie is beautiful both inside and out!!!!!
Come on revamp!
SHE FUNNY LMFAOOOO
She funny.
…we have a lot of learning and unlearning to do.
👍🏼
Was he on The Grapevine before??… I feel like he was on a couple of times. Also, it’s crazy that the ppl in the comments see her as his ex, but I’m like, “That’s the If There was a Black Girl/Witch in Harry Potter girl from TikTok.” lol
As a gay man, I salute all the straight women who have been our devoted allies . Someone who was bi said guy men were misogynist because they did not have sex with women. WHAT? So do straight men who do not have sex with other men also dislike men? We gay men love women . The definition of a misogynist has nothing to do with who you sleep with. In fact, the majority of misogynists are the straight men who, throughout history and today, make the laws that devalue women. I love your female friend in this video!
Some gay men love women. Society does not teach men to love anything but malehood and conquest.
💖💖💖💖💖
✌🏾
Kudos to the ex..Girlfriend.
13:29 is what had me on the flooooooooor laughing🤣
Wait I feel like I’ve seen her on TikTok