***** lol, its alright. Just think about wat instrument you want to play and start practicing. that's how I learned, just watched crap ton of youtube videos on it, and practice. I bet if you put the time in, you could learn.
@@dr.bunterhidenbrobruh5502 It's the most important to anybody over 25. No money means no future stability, anybody with half a brain would see the problem in that.
Once, a girl was doing some door-to-door selling her bands album, when she came to mine, I told her I was musician and that I would support their band by buying the album even though it wasn't my type of music. I told her I was a experimental bass player, using the instrument as a lead, she seemed kinda interested. I told her I had some stuff recorded but that it was pretty bad, poor audio quality, sloppy playing, her expression changed. Finally I asked her if she wanted to hear me play some of my music to her, she turned around and just walked away without saying a word. I regretted buying the album immediately after and I never even once listened to it.
see im the exact opposite I dont ever mention that i play guitar and when people ask me to play I never do, If anyone is even around in my house I wont play
I once had a dude at a party basically undress me with his eyes and then made out he was looking at my slayer shirt by going "DUDE I LOVE THAT BAND! MY BAND COVER THEIR SONGS ALL THE TIME!" And I was like "oh really what songs of theirs have you covered?" And he replied with "oh...you know...all the big, most famous songs by them...." I cracked up laughing and was like "you've never heard of slayer before have you..." And we ended up bonding over slayer and becoming best friends and I hooked him up with one of my friends and they've been together for about 3 years now 😆
Typical conversation: * Me and [random girl] chatting about life * Me: So, what music do you listen to? Girl: I like [insert musician/band name here]. What about you? Me: Oh, uh... I just listen to metal. Girl: Oh, that's cool. What bands do you like? Me: Well, I like this one band called Periphery... Girl: Who are they? Me: They're kind of a tech-y metal band, they play in a style called 'djent'... Girl: Oh, nice... * UNBREAKABLE AWKWARD SILENCE *
Trumpet players make the best kissers due to our articulation techniques, piano players are really good with their fingers, and those who write music are very emotionally charged. Musicians are the best people in the world, but they are also usually very strange. So you kinda have to trade good for bad sometimes.
Ragnarockalypse Musicians are scientifically smarter on average than non-musicians. Also, I had an ex who loved my hands because I played guitar. Hand fetish. That shit's real, man.
Oh my God! Thought he was joking about the "progressive vegetarian grindcore" but there's even a full playlist on Spotify of that "genre" -kill me please-
Me: So yeah i'm the lead vocalist and rhythm guitar player in my metal band. Girl: Oh you're a singer? Me: Yeah I sing, I also do growls and guttural screams. Girl: Oh... I don't really like screamo. Me: .... -_- .........
Algastar Similar one, but it was with my friend. Friend: *turns Disturbed on* Me: Oh, you'll love SiKth! They're like Disturbed but more technical. Friend: Sorry, I don't like screamo. Me: Then what do you call Disturbed? Friend: Heavy Metal. mfw
Skyrim Sniper Sikth is a fantastic band! I don't quite see how they're like disturbed though :o but thats funny, those people who say that and then you show them an actual heavy band and they almost shit their pants xD
i feel like as a girl musician this video is just a giant paradox. am i talking to myself? my whole existence is collapsing into itself because my brain cannot handle this
Real-life scenario: Me: "Hey, so what kinda music do you like?" Girl: "I'm really into metal" Me: "Cool, me too! What are some of your favorite bands?" Girl: "Pierce the Veil, Motionless in White, and Issues." Me: "Bye"
People only really find out i play guitar if they ask or see my guitars. Then they ask "do you play guitar?" NO...I JUST COLLECT THEM BECAUSE I LIKE TO SNIFF THEM BEFORE EVERY MEAL!. of course I play the damn guitar.....-_-
TheDeathJesters I think they mean: are you good at playing guitar, :) Duck if they tell you they're the "self taught" ones. Other musicians: "He's never had a lesson, and we can tell that from next door."
"You want one my guitar picks?" Lie! No guitar player or bass player have picks to offer, they disappear into the void all the time, having 1 is hard already
I may have very little experience with women, a touch of social anxiety, and trouble communicating with people sometimes, but if Jared can hit on a girl like that with lines like this, I'm pretty sure I can be comfortable to confidently approach any woman I see at whatever bar I happen to be in. Thanks, Jared.
" you wanna go to mcdonalds sometime? "
smooth.
this would be me
i dont like McDonald's
Made me wet
Lol ultimate ladykiller
Scout, anyone?
"I got a bucket of chicken..."
Accurate af
"Do you wanna hear my band?" Proceeds to play my bands song.... -____- damn it Jared.
Dickeyfighter7861 that is funny
Haha that's a great touch.
CLEARLY NOT A COMPLIMENT
dickey love me i was first like
Hilarious
Things musicians never say to girls: "I play bass"
Rip. All bass players.
***** yes man. I play keys myself. It's a cruel world...
***** lol, its alright. Just think about wat instrument you want to play and start practicing. that's how I learned, just watched crap ton of youtube videos on it, and practice. I bet if you put the time in, you could learn.
Freerunner105 ,
I play bass, bass is like the best ok bye
I'm a girl tho so I mean I guess I'm set either way lmao
"I'm really good with my hands, especially when I play the g string"
For the win!
That was actually pretty good
Omygod I only just got this joke while reading the comments LOL
Omg
Oh my god 😂
I still don’t get it :(
"Progressive vegetarian grind core" hahaha, pissed my fucking pants!
and that is the good thing when you are not wearing any pants at all
CarcassDevourer Cattle Decapitation is deathgrind.
***** it was a joke
***** I know a Anti-Vegan Grindcore band, Paupiettes, it's atrocious but so funny
dude that shit was fucking hilarious LMAO
LOL
KeroseneMatch765 You just didn't push it enough times.
L0L*
KeroseneMatch765 I think you forgot the 1 at the very end
Oh hi Rob
I tried calling it didn't work what a shame
"how much money did you make?"
"uhmmm it's not really important. .."
thx captain obvious
To most girls over 25, it's the most important thing.
@@dr.bunterhidenbrobruh5502 It's the most important to anybody over 25. No money means no future stability, anybody with half a brain would see the problem in that.
give her the D chord
I laughed HARDER at this and LONGER than I should have...... no but seriously this really got me.
haha
you know what else is hard and long? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
my life. my shitty shitty life
ßlueÐ - That^ was fucking genius.
John Petrucci and I had eye contact for a solid 4 seconds. It was magic.
I talked to Jordan Rudess for a solid 2 minutes. Best day of my life.
I met mike portnoy and got the entire bands (dream theater)'s autograph lol
MyriadesusTV I had sex with John Myung, id probably do it again.
A7XfoREVer2013
John Myung talked to me...it was the deepest conversation ever ;D
Did he tell you to play a bass solo where you play a bass solo?
I wonder if Jared actually used any of these lines to get her lol
all of them
But it worked, obviously...
Isaiah MacLeod lol
"Are you into drummers or something?" Lol.
thall of them
"Hey I play the drums, and I like to bang."
DarkestHour757 That's probably illegal, but it's kinda funny.
DarkestHour757 Can I use that as my pick up line?
Victor Gheorghe if you have ambulance nearby sure why not
DarkestHour757 hahahahahaha...i'm fucked
"Progressive vegetarian grindcore"
WatchDog435 BTBAM
Electro Hippies.
cattle decapitation
say hello to fur tv
and especially Fat Ed ;-)
Once, a girl was doing some door-to-door selling her bands album, when she came to mine, I told her I was musician and that I would support their band by buying the album even though it wasn't my type of music.
I told her I was a experimental bass player, using the instrument as a lead, she seemed kinda interested.
I told her I had some stuff recorded but that it was pretty bad, poor audio quality, sloppy playing, her expression changed.
Finally I asked her if she wanted to hear me play some of my music to her, she turned around and just walked away without saying a word.
I regretted buying the album immediately after and I never even once listened to it.
see im the exact opposite I dont ever mention that i play guitar and when people ask me to play I never do, If anyone is even around in my house I wont play
My brains and heart hurts :(
Cri evytime
^^ right in the pussy
Guess now days playing Guitar/Bass is just for getting pussies than passion. Lol :/
actual real life footage of me talking to girls.
at least they have something to say to them, i'm too shy to talk with girls.
AlphaLeader772 I know that feel, bro.
Daniel Huang
XD even worse when you can't even find female metalheads/punks in your small town ;(
AlphaLeader772 IS THAT FRANK IERO?
Fun Poison
who?
Oh , I thought the person of ur profile pic is Frank Iero ... oops (check Frank Iero 2005/Revenge and you'll see what I mean)
I once had a dude at a party basically undress me with his eyes and then made out he was looking at my slayer shirt by going "DUDE I LOVE THAT BAND! MY BAND COVER THEIR SONGS ALL THE TIME!" And I was like "oh really what songs of theirs have you covered?" And he replied with "oh...you know...all the big, most famous songs by them...." I cracked up laughing and was like "you've never heard of slayer before have you..." And we ended up bonding over slayer and becoming best friends and I hooked him up with one of my friends and they've been together for about 3 years now 😆
Whiskey Daniels Hahaha. What boys do, to get a girlfriend right?
You've never been to a party.
You’ve definitely never been to a party
Smooth move to get him away from you, marrying him off to your friend...
That was great
Typical conversation:
* Me and [random girl] chatting about life *
Me: So, what music do you listen to?
Girl: I like [insert musician/band name here]. What about you?
Me: Oh, uh... I just listen to metal.
Girl: Oh, that's cool. What bands do you like?
Me: Well, I like this one band called Periphery...
Girl: Who are they?
Me: They're kind of a tech-y metal band, they play in a style called 'djent'...
Girl: Oh, nice...
* UNBREAKABLE AWKWARD SILENCE *
Every. Single. Time.
Life's rough, man. Life's rough.
Tyler Benoit Yep. :(
It gets more awkward if they ask you to "hum or sing their most famous song because they sound familiar".
This is SO accurate.
D struggle
lol "progressive vegetarian grindcore" i guess he just meant Cattle Decapitation :P
Niloo zeb BTBAM
I was thinking Pig Destroyer
"Hold on, my manager's calling."
*walks away*
"Hi, Mom."
"Do you have a boyfriend? Coz I could probably out shred him..."
"I'm really good with my hands... especially with the g-string" lmao
Trumpet players make the best kissers due to our articulation techniques, piano players are really good with their fingers, and those who write music are very emotionally charged. Musicians are the best people in the world, but they are also usually very strange. So you kinda have to trade good for bad sometimes.
Jaaq Ess Then there's us bassists who just stare at the chick (while drooling) until she walks away. (or runs,depending on how intense your stare is)
Jaaq Ess drummers are good at getting domestic assault charges
Us vocalist just scream really loud during sex.... -_-
Playing an instrument does not automatically make you an unique snowflake, part of a master race or a sex machine.
Ragnarockalypse Musicians are scientifically smarter on average than non-musicians. Also, I had an ex who loved my hands because I played guitar. Hand fetish. That shit's real, man.
Oh my God! Thought he was joking about the "progressive vegetarian grindcore" but there's even a full playlist on Spotify of that "genre"
-kill me please-
"So do you like the band castrated in bacon?" Lmfao!!
is your gf single?
Probably not since she's his gf
that was the joke...
+WookieMullet I think he was just playing along
Yes she is single now :D
musiclover 212334 Why the happy face man, come on.
If you're a metalhead you can say "I would headbang you"
XDXD GET IT XDDDD
headBANG XDDDDDDDDDDDD
I don't get it...
lol
Omfg
cringe the xd is too much
stop using xD what the fuck is this 2009?
"Can I follow you?"
"I don't have instagram"
"I know"
🤣
"I'm really good with my hands, especially when I play the G string" OH MY GOD
She does the "go away" look wayyyyy too good.
Me: So yeah i'm the lead vocalist and rhythm guitar player in my metal band.
Girl: Oh you're a singer?
Me: Yeah I sing, I also do growls and guttural screams.
Girl: Oh... I don't really like screamo.
Me: .... -_- .........
Algastar Similar one, but it was with my friend.
Friend: *turns Disturbed on*
Me: Oh, you'll love SiKth! They're like Disturbed but more technical.
Friend: Sorry, I don't like screamo.
Me: Then what do you call Disturbed?
Friend: Heavy Metal.
mfw
Hahaha wow. I'll have to check them out!
Skyrim Sniper Sikth is a fantastic band! I don't quite see how they're like disturbed though :o but thats funny, those people who say that and then you show them an actual heavy band and they almost shit their pants xD
PlanBsk8er999 They're not; I just wanted to listen to some better music, haha!
chick calls it screamo shes not worth it X'D
The G string one works pretty well
Mcr huh
The phone number thing was pretty great.
000-000-0000
1:45 "I play guitar but she's into drummers"
She's drinking some pink liquor and he's drinking orange juice hahhahahhahahahahaha
"progressive vegetarian grindcore" I'm done
the girl is pretty hot
That's Jared's girlfriend
+Linkin Park is life what's her name?
Husak Ribbeck I can't remember, but she's been in several of his vids
Linkin Park is life lucky son of the bitch :D
Rodrigo Romero Lol yep
0:05 : I was expecting something like "Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man?"
2:19 one time, at a korn concert, I bumped into Caleb and took a selfie with him. true story
I'll admit I'm guilty of saying few things from this video.
Well it's not our fault. We're proud of what we do and there's nothing wrong with that.
shhiit I'm guilty of 90% of these
I would use some of these, who knows, maybe I'll get a laugh out of someone.
lmao I say "do you want my guitar pick" all the time
haha me too
i feel like as a girl musician this video is just a giant paradox. am i talking to myself? my whole existence is collapsing into itself because my brain cannot handle this
i haven't slept in 32 hours
computears meth is a awesome drug right!
maybe your male side of your brain keeps trying to turn on your female side of your brain using bad punchlines like in the video
computears Speed is good stuff.
lol this is great
oh my, this girl is *so* beautiful
"I can play Guitar"
*seven nation army*
WAIT CONGRATULATIONS ON 1 MILLION JARED!!!
Waiting for Jared Alonge to comment on this.
Pickup line I use every time "So, uh, I'm first chair Bassoon"
"So, you got a boyfriend? I could probably out-shred him! "... yep
i love when they geek out in the middle
playin' the G string...awesome....
"Progressive Vegetarian Grindcore?"
Wouldn't that be Cattle Decapitation?
Love your hoodie man like the band aswell
I love her! Seriously!
when he tells her hes a drummer she finally turns her head to him ;) drummers rule
You wish
Yeah.
Oh whaaaat? 504! I died
Nice work, this was funny. The hilarious part of it though was I've had some of those things said to me before so lol on the accuracy of it.
Love the hoodie.
Real-life scenario:
Me: "Hey, so what kinda music do you like?"
Girl: "I'm really into metal"
Me: "Cool, me too! What are some of your favorite bands?"
Girl: "Pierce the Veil, Motionless in White, and Issues."
Me: "Bye"
Issues isn't bad though
XD Everytime!
Eh it's a start. I like girls that are into that girly metal. She could be into worse music
I don't mind Motionless in White, but the rest of those bands are garbage
@@coyan9948 your garbage don't ever insult ptv.
Fucking love your shirts! Especially Impending Doom. Also the girl is kinda cute! x3
***** The real Batman has proper grammar you fraud!!
***** What? lol
***** ..thats not batman.. its bruce wayne.
***** Shit it took me long enough to realize Bruce Wayne is here. Big fan.
BeatenandScarred She's fucking hot... who is she?
Love the jacket Jared👌👌👌
Awesome channel! Subscribed :D
People only really find out i play guitar if they ask or see my guitars. Then they ask "do you play guitar?" NO...I JUST COLLECT THEM BECAUSE I LIKE TO SNIFF THEM BEFORE EVERY MEAL!. of course I play the damn guitar.....-_-
TheDeathJesters I think they mean: are you good at playing guitar, :)
Duck if they tell you they're the "self taught" ones. Other musicians: "He's never had a lesson, and we can tell that from next door."
"U got a boyfriend... I can probably outshred him" LMAO
The " when I play the G string" part killed me, lmao
This guy always cracks me up.
"You want one my guitar picks?" Lie! No guitar player or bass player have picks to offer, they disappear into the void all the time, having 1 is hard already
"How much money did you make?"
Not sure if that's a "musicians are poor fucks" joke or a "women are money grubbing" joke
Both, my nigga
Quentin Minor The latter ofcourse lol
Does it matter? Alot of my favorite bands play music to play some mother fucking music. Opeth, Nightwish and Blind Guardian come to mind.
Quentin Minor most women don't like bad businessmen. Ie, "Let's play for free.":)
Hahaha, always manage to make me laugh, that Jared :)))
that Rob Scallon line at the end was great, that one got me :D
isn't she the same girl from "things guitar store employees say" ???
yes
Jeremy Ryder, Yup.
But what's her name?
@@jesseling6672 kayti otis
Lol "I can probably out shred him"
😂 The rob scallon one would have been the quickest way to my heart that killed me
I may have very little experience with women, a touch of social anxiety, and trouble communicating with people sometimes, but if Jared can hit on a girl like that with lines like this, I'm pretty sure I can be comfortable to confidently approach any woman I see at whatever bar I happen to be in.
Thanks, Jared.
He ended the fangirls talking to the musicians saying "I'm just a roadie" I thought he was gonna end this one with her saying "gtg my moms here" lol
Richard Schuyler Ha! That woulda been too good😂
If he was a bassist, he'd just say 'hi' and the girl would walk away!!
I mean, if the bassist wasn't absolutely AMAZING!!
Only the amazing bassists get laid.
Impending Doom is awsome. I love both your shirts. :)
"Can I follow you?"
"I don't have IG"
"....I know" Omg I died xD
Impending doom shirt!!!! So awesome
"Do you like Rob Scallon, at all? I have his number, 000000..." At this point I died.
ahhhhh that joke at the end
My favorite type of music is ProGreSsiVe VEgetArIAn GrINdcOrE!
That Rob Scallon joke :')
Jared, your hat is the best hat.Deathstroke rules.
I LOVE HER SHIRT
Beautiful
1:00
There's so much BEAUTIFUL POR-i mean-Poetry!
i love her face when she says " i don't have an instagram "
I love his hoodie
lol the "I know" got me.
"Progressive vegetarian grindcore" bahah I died, I know so many people in these types of bands.
Well she's cute.
That lass was just awesome as she looked SO disinterested...:) Loved it.. :)
omg her shirt is so great
So who is she????????????????????
***** Shes bit of a spunk though. Any who love the vids mate!
Aaron Mifsud you got kik?
?
Girls loved band guys in the 70s. Now, you have to be a guy who looks like he's in a band, but isn't. You know, like the guys from BOTDF.
Spider Lane I just want a guy that's basically Phil Anselmo from the 80s-90s.....besides the hard drugs😂
I love Jared's jacket!!! Impending doom
Flawless
"Yeah uh, Mike Portnoy did share my video..." Hahahaha
"Progressive Vegetarian Grindcore" hahahahah...Wait... It doesn't exist?...Right?
Look up Cattle Decapitation. XD
Check out Exit-13. Original vegan grindcore
Jared you are awesome
I thought you were going to say "I'll have to talk to my Rob Scallon manager."