Growing up “Ugly" & the Truth about Pretty Privilege ? | big sis real talk

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 381

  • @lilylapitre
    @lilylapitre Рік тому +4280

    as a black girl I can tell that "you're pretty FOR..." is a sentence that a majority of WOC have heard at least one time unfortunately...

    • @milkisreallygood8957
      @milkisreallygood8957 Рік тому +513

      omg and the "You talk/act like a white person." I know that has nothing to do with the video but that sentence irritates me so much.

    • @bunnii0111
      @bunnii0111 Рік тому +270

      my bestfriend had to tell her parents "she acts like a white girl" in order for me to be allowed into their home :)

    • @EpiphanyAntoinette
      @EpiphanyAntoinette Рік тому +71

      @@bunnii0111humanity is in the GROUD for that one fellow poccc

    • @taypretty04
      @taypretty04 Рік тому +69

      @@bunnii0111and she told you that????

    • @bunnii0111
      @bunnii0111 Рік тому +22

      @@taypretty04 sadly 🙂

  • @gretabernstone
    @gretabernstone Рік тому +2250

    in psychology class i learned that when we see someone "attractive" the reward-part in our brain activates and we literary feel "happy"/"grateful"... isn't that messed up?! that's probably a reason for why "pretty" people get treated more nicely - because it feels like a "reward" to see them and look at their "pretty" features...
    nonetheless attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder and there are many different preferences.. also the ONLY thing that matters, is that you like yourself!! why bother about such "unnecessary" things when there are so many other things that are so much more valuable in life than looking "pretty" - such as health, happiness and love. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL because the world makes everything beautifully and carefully and you are perfect just the way you are!! enjoy your life to the fullest - YOU DESERVE IT

    • @nickiminaj0882
      @nickiminaj0882 Рік тому +52

      for me seeing a pretty person feels the same as eating sweets lol

    • @globisdead
      @globisdead Рік тому +62

      It's an evolutionary thing. It's messed up, but people who we find attractive have the traits that suggest they'll be able to be healthy, have kids, and be good parents. So over time, due to evolution, we developed those "reward systems" whenever we see a pretty person, so we are moved to reproduce with them because that's all evolution wants. If anyone wants to read more, I suggest looking at Chaoter 4, "Evolutionary Theory" of the book "The Social Psychology of Sexual Attraction and Relationships". I remember that the first author's last name is Fugerè.

    • @qokoa
      @qokoa Рік тому +14

      no it's not 'messed up', it's biological and natural.

    • @globisdead
      @globisdead Рік тому

      @qokoa2155 just because something is natural doesn't mean it isn't messed up. Death and cancer are natural but messed up

    • @electricearth1101
      @electricearth1101 Рік тому +27

      MESSED UP????😂😂😂 thats like saying you dont wanna feel good when you see an amazing looking waterfall 🤣🤣

  • @PremierCCGuyMMXVI
    @PremierCCGuyMMXVI Рік тому +1991

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty standards historically, especially in America, were just messed up. Beauty can happen anywhere. Never doubt yourself. And to anyone reading this comment, you’re beautiful 😊

  • @Pwulsie
    @Pwulsie Рік тому +135

    4:35 "as woman we feel a sort of obligation to offer something in we cant offer looks" incredibly well said!!

  • @lex7176
    @lex7176 Рік тому +741

    it’s crazy that certain facial features or body structures can be “trendy”!!! there’s a difference between celebrating different features and making people feel like if they don’t look a certain way they don’t deserve love/attention/etc. especially when it’s something you literally have no control over :(

    • @electricearth1101
      @electricearth1101 Рік тому +7

      white facial features have been trendy for a long time. asian and russian facial features seem to be the most trendy now.

  • @Doodles2468
    @Doodles2468 Рік тому +279

    I love that u said that
    “it feels like women have to offer something else if they can’t offer looks”
    I couldn’t really place it until you said but it’s something that is so true and fits how I feel rn
    Thanks for this video :))

    • @iloveazaeliabanks
      @iloveazaeliabanks Рік тому +7

      felt this i hate my face so much so i feel like i have to be very skinny and have a good body to make up for it😔

    • @thepinkelephant2520
      @thepinkelephant2520 10 місяців тому

      @@iloveazaeliabankssame girl 😭

  • @candypietravels
    @candypietravels Рік тому +195

    The fact she put her own subtitles is amazing editing and time

    • @peggy_bobeggy
      @peggy_bobeggy 6 місяців тому +3

      yes i love ytubers who do that!! they go out of their way for their viewers 😜

  • @Peacefuljeanne
    @Peacefuljeanne Рік тому +749

    It's so weird how people's perception of beauty changes. When I was younger people used to bully me because of my freckles. Years later it became a trend and now people ask me how I do my freckles 😂

    • @em-jd4do
      @em-jd4do Рік тому +15

      oh yeah! i was quite outdoorsy as a kid, and i'm in the northern mediterranean region (southern france), so as a redhead with extremely pale skin, my abundant freckles were not complimented. nowadays i wear sunscreen, so i have few freckles. but i've been asked once x)

    • @Milaa9987
      @Milaa9987 Рік тому +31

      Fr!! Or how big butt is such a thing. people would be bullied for having a "fat butt" when I was younger but now its desirable!

    • @Sarah-kv3qs
      @Sarah-kv3qs 5 місяців тому

      @@Milaa9987They always bully things they envy… it’s weird

  • @kaulamayla
    @kaulamayla Рік тому +236

    when u talked abt ur high school experience it rlly hit close to home for me. i’m a darkskin black girl and in middle/elementary i went to a mostly white school and my hair was super kinky and i always got compliments whenever i straightened it. some people would says nice things when i had braids but never with my fro. I also got compared to men and it rlly forced me to try and be hyper feminine even if i didn’t rlly want to dress that way. all that really did make me hate myself. on top of that i was also “annoying” but the way i was treated compared to other white kids who were “annoying” was drastically different. my self esteem was so low and i really thought i didn’t deserve to be treated nicely. it rlly sucks how because of that we become so more hyper vigilant about our appearance and how we act compared to others

    • @cupoftaewith3dollarswortho600
      @cupoftaewith3dollarswortho600 7 місяців тому

      I experienced the same thing i have 3b curls and i always got told it looked better straight or even bullied saying i’m trying to fit in and look cool. I also went through a stage of feeling very low i dressed ig “slutty” for male validation at one point which made me feel even worse about my self worth and self esteem. That was all in high school now

  • @0xC2
    @0xC2 Рік тому +79

    14:00 That feeling is 100% real. Ever since i started fitting into societal beauty standards, i feel like me doing weird things have begun to be written off as me being me, whereas before it was just considered annoying.

  • @TimidAction
    @TimidAction Рік тому +165

    Okayyy I did not grow up cute but sadly it did not help me develop a vibrant personality, it just made me more shy and socially awkward cause I felt like I never fit in. 😭 At least I look cute now lol

    • @lotus.luvsrain
      @lotus.luvsrain Рік тому

      ​@sewerrat7418bibblee

    • @sulbamt7622
      @sulbamt7622 6 місяців тому +2

      SAME

    • @gentlekisserswifey
      @gentlekisserswifey 6 місяців тому +2

      hi, as for me, I kinda developed it, however, right now when I'm approached and complimentes(esp. by a guy) i feel like they just see me as an object

  • @Milaa9987
    @Milaa9987 Рік тому +126

    I always remember hearing a story from a friend, about how growing up she always felt insecure of her big nose, because the "beauty standard" where she lived was all about tiny little button noses. But then she moved to live in the Middle East and was utterly amazed at all the comments she got about her "gorgeous nose!". That was when she realized beauty standards are just bullshit. They change constantly and are different depending on where you live; the very feature she was bullied for throughout her life suddenly became the subject of envy!
    I adored this video and thought you touched on some very important topics. I agree that the Western world is starting to be more accepting of non-Eurpoean features, however, especially on social media it is still very toxic and we as a society have a long way to go.
    To anyone who is reading this, know that you are beautiful and your external features should NEVER define you as a human being. Life is too short and you are too gorgeous to worry about your looks!! Love the body that looks after you!!

    • @sarah37452
      @sarah37452 Рік тому +7

      The West is more accepting of non-white features. As a Middle-Eastern, I'm not considered pretty here because I have tan skin instead of white skin. I also don't have European features, which are loved in the Middle East.

    • @diofromyozgat
      @diofromyozgat Рік тому +3

      I can't talk for all middle eastern countries, but white skin, colored eye, blond hair and small noses are found much more accepted in where i live(aka white features.)

    • @Milaa9987
      @Milaa9987 Рік тому +1

      @@sarah37452 That's horrible to hear. My story was set 30 or 40 years ago, so it seems the "beauty standards" have changed again, which I guess just further proves how stupid they are. I hope you don't let them get to you and love yourself. Shaming people for their skin colour is utterly disgusting. Where I live, everyone wants tan skin and spends hundreds of dollars and many hours trying to get it, so I hope you can remember that and try to embrace it. Love you lots, you are gorgeous 💕

    • @Milaa9987
      @Milaa9987 Рік тому +3

      @@diofromyozgat That's disgusting. I can only imagine the terrible unrealistic pressure these "ideal features" puts on people. If you've never heard it before, dark skin, eyes, hair, big noses etc are ALL SOO BEAUTIFUL. There are no "better" features than any other. Stay strong, I hope that you love yourself and your body and face no matter what the stupid beauty standards are trying to make you think!! 💕

    • @icantfindagoodusername
      @icantfindagoodusername Рік тому

      @@sarah37452 3 months late, but what are "white" features?
      its a genuine question

  • @abbynassuna6293
    @abbynassuna6293 Рік тому +51

    i’ve kinda noticed in school that no one just sees me as a girl, it’s always the “black girl” or “bigger girl” or even the “smart girl” (but not in a way to mean i’m smart, as in its the only thing i have going for me) and it’s getting pretty exhausting ngl

    • @penguin_aly
      @penguin_aly 2 місяці тому

      i so relate to the "smart girl" cause even though i dont have any other things going for me, i hate being seen as this kidn of "nerdy girl" so i started wearing makeup, getting into bad habita, and tryna break out of it which is so not worth it. now im js the "dumb smart girl" 😭

  • @marisaoh5227
    @marisaoh5227 Рік тому +177

    as an asian girl who's only 14 year old, I've realized all these things are very true. I've been called pretty...for an asian. I see other pretty people and I can't help but compare myself and wonder what life is like as a "pretty" person. I just get so frustrated over the way that it's easier to live if you're pretty and it makes me so disappointed in myself. Honestly, these videos are so relatable and I enjoyed this talk. Thank you so much.

    • @soupafleye
      @soupafleye Рік тому

      it’s simply white supremacy eurocentric beauty standards. everyone has this issue other than white ppl. just know beauty doesn’t last it’ll always be about your spirit. kindness courage unapologetically you

    • @idontownagoldfish
      @idontownagoldfish Рік тому +8

      omg hey another 14 y/o asian girl 😭 no seriously… i keep wondering “what if i was prettier?” like gosh it feels like i’d be so much happier if i was cuter like mannn. im really trying to be more confident and happy in my looks, but i still spiral sometimes yk

  • @utopiateez
    @utopiateez Рік тому +18

    I think for me the reason im insecure is that every year the pretty girls in my class would get treated so nicely and everybody loved them they had so many friends etc. etc. and I never had that even now I don't have that I would spent hours doing my make up every morning and nobody would tell me anything but friends who didn't wear make up at all would get so many compliments and it does kinda hurt tbh, but I'm trying to better myself , to love myself more and jasmine you really helped me I am really really thankful for you

  • @plummyplummy
    @plummyplummy Рік тому +84

    wow that all sounded SOOOO familiar... growing up as biracial korean and white, it took me a long time to get to a point where i could embrace the uniqueness of my features instead of constantly borrowing and emulating and comparing myself to my asian friends in HS and my white friends in college. even in college, where a lot of people have their "glo up" i was still experiencing the hurt of, like you said, watching my white friends get picked up at bars, having drinks bought for them while i savored a $15 cocktail. now at 25 i finally feel like i'm becoming pretty in my own way - meaning that i've stopped trying to make myself look white or look asian or look trendy, and just embraced my unique features and my unique style. for the first time in my life i'm getting compliments from strangers, and it's always to the effect of "i love your vibe" or "your aura is so amazing" (from a drunk girl at a nightclub LOL), and that perception, that i'm different and i stand out but in a way that turns heads, is a pretty powerful feeling. :) the self-love journey has lots of twists and turns, and it never really ends, but i guess it's just a reminder that it will smooth out as you begin to understand more about who you are. :)

  • @nicolczl
    @nicolczl Рік тому +214

    i love this, i actually felt and sometimes still feel treated differently than some friends because boys always talk to me to get to talk to my friends, i don’t know if i explained myself, but it makes my brain overthink about the way i look and my problem since always is that i compare myself too much

    • @aaliyahb9491
      @aaliyahb9491 Рік тому +15

      Yeah I understand because I literally feel the same way too and I can tell that tell that I’m treated differently from other girls

    • @Authorthings
      @Authorthings 11 місяців тому +2

      I went through this. So so much so that said "friend" reinforced the idea that no one could be interested in me. On purpose. Anyway, been happily married 5 years and together for almost 12 to the guy who's been interested in me since the beginning. The same "friend" tried to pull the same crap when him and I got together and told me he was interested in her. He never was as she wasn't his type 😉
      The world is a big place, you might be stuck in a weird one. You don't need a relationship to validate your looks, but you do need good friends to cheer you on 😊 I hope you have them or find them soon!

  • @itsnotaricaria
    @itsnotaricaria Рік тому +31

    I 100% percent get that struggle with beauty standards constantly changing. It's a weird feeling getting praised for the features you where bullied for. Especially bc you are aware that it could shift again at any moment. I just hope we as a society can grow in a way that will allow us to not focus on looks that much anymore

  • @finchseventysix
    @finchseventysix Рік тому +63

    thanks for this, jasmine. when i was FINALLY feeling confident in my looks for the first time in my life, i got rejected by my crush. this was a few months ago. then, my confidence took a hit that is still affecting me. im going into my senior year is HS and will be 18 this year… since ive never had a bf and have been rejected more than once i start to wonder if my appearance is the problem. it really really sucks. i wish i didn’t think like this but it’s difficult to get out of the mindset esp when everybody else ik has had at least one relationship. anyways, im working on it - thank you for sharing your story and thoughts, it’s comforting to hear we’re not alone.

    • @Random-js6em
      @Random-js6em Рік тому +14

      i completely understand. I'm the same way and i've never been in a relationship when all my friends are so pretty and have been in multiple relationships each and are always talking to guys and people having crushes on them and stuff where no one has ever even talked to me or had a crush on me. Growing up i have actually been pretty confident until recently because i've started to question why i have never gotten any attention when everyone i talked to has been approached multiple times by strangers to get their number or socials, or even gotten free food or drinks from staff for being attractive (in one case the waiter said free ice cream for the pretty girl) when I have never experienced anything like this. It only leads me to keep questioning my looks and speaking negatively to myself saying I must be the problem and stuff like that, but yeah... you're not alone i completely understand and feel the same way. Remember, you are beautiful inside and out and i'm sure you will soon agree and so will many others that truly respect you and love you ❤

    • @Milaa9987
      @Milaa9987 Рік тому +3

      @@Random-js6em Yes totally agree with this. Besides we are worth so much more than our external features. Sending both you guys virtual hugs!!

    • @selmaice
      @selmaice Рік тому +5

      trust me, having had a relationship does not equate to beauty at all, some of my friends that are drop dead gorgeous have never had a relationship. my best friend who is hot as shit just got into her first relationship at 20 years old and the ONLY difference between before when she struggled to get a boyfriend and now is confidence. she had zero confidence before and people just arent interested in that and its so cliché but "if you don't love yourself then nobody else can" is so true. now she has so much confidence after working on her mindset and building up her self esteem and now she has a bf and has been flooded with guys in college. REGARDLESS, the amount of guys or relationships you have have nothing to do with how pretty you are and looking for a relationship for male validation of your beauty isn't fair to your future partner or yourself. relationships will come when you become confident in yourself and find someone who you care for and cares for you. wish u well

  • @ateezstan
    @ateezstan Рік тому +19

    4:35 i struggle with this everyday lol. its so hard for me to find the balance between doing my makeup because i enjoy it as an art form vs doing it because i feel like i need to look attractive in order to be worth something in society

  • @jaypop_dance
    @jaypop_dance Рік тому +65

    I love that you're talking about this, I feel this heavily. Not bragging but growing up I was the opposite. People always complimented my looks and told me I looked like a model. It made me feel really good, but mostly because that actually is the career i wanted to go into. I did however, mostly see European features when looking at media/entertainment which made me also experience wanting to look more white for a long time. After getting over this, a while later the pandemic hit and i couldnt get my bc pills i used to control my acne. It got really bad having to wear masks on top of that so I developed cystic acne. I went through the most insecure time I've felt. I felt gross and disgusting and to top it off, when it finally went away I was left with lots of scarring on my cheeks. I struggle to leave the house without makeup, and if i do, I usually wear a mask to cover my cheeks. Whenever i get compliments now, I feel its due to my makeup and not me. I hope to feel more confident in them someday or to get them removed. But its actually caused a lot of damage to my confidence. I always felt i lacked in personality , so now I really feel I always have to look my best.

    • @Milaa9987
      @Milaa9987 Рік тому +3

      That's awful to hear!!! Sending you love and support for your confidence journey...I'm on my own as well, together we can do this!! I just keeping reminding myself that I'm worth so much more than my external features. You go this girl!

    • @jaypop_dance
      @jaypop_dance Рік тому +2

      @@Milaa9987 aw, thank you for the kind words! I really needed to hear it ❤️ External features are one of the least important things about us all, I agree. I wish you the best on your journey as well, we both got this! 😊

    • @Milaa9987
      @Milaa9987 Рік тому +2

      @@jaypop_dance ❤️❤️❤️

  • @ive5315
    @ive5315 Рік тому +77

    omg this is so real! i’m latina, but look fairly white and the way i’m being treated compared to my darker skinned friends/family members pisses me off soooo much.
    same with body weight, i used to be quite fat when i was younger and people treated me awful, but now that i am white and skinny i get treated so nicely and even tho i know that even by the fact of me looking white and being skinny is perpetuating those standards there’s not much i can do to make people less racist/fat phobic.

    • @kc87557
      @kc87557 Рік тому +2

      @sewerrat7418that’s not what they’re saying. They’re saying that they notice the colourism towards their darker family members. They also faced fat phobia

  • @DaisyRowden
    @DaisyRowden Рік тому +9

    she says everything most girls are too scared to say. i love her sm.

  • @ariadnajaime6295
    @ariadnajaime6295 Рік тому +131

    I believe this thing about "offering something more, if you're not offering looks" applies for all kind of people, not just woman but I get that beaty standars and all affect specially woman. Just wanted to add that to the conversation

    • @lilypad7368
      @lilypad7368 Рік тому +12

      u think that really applies to men ...??

    • @ariadnajaime6295
      @ariadnajaime6295 Рік тому +25

      @@lilypad7368 Yeah, I think so. And other genders as well. I think it's something that everybody suffer because beauty standars affect us all, but as I said, I get that woman are mostly affected by them maybe even more nowadays with social media, tiktok, instagram, filters and all as Jasmine said. But it's not exclusive of woman

    • @chenmae9747
      @chenmae9747 Рік тому +8

      Can we not do this, were talking about specific people not, everything has to be about men

    • @ariadnajaime6295
      @ariadnajaime6295 Рік тому

      @@chenmae9747 I think Jasmine brought a big and very important conversation topic here, but in my opinion, talking about it exclusively on one gender, no matter which one it is, is reducing it. I was not talking about men, I was asked if I thought men went trought that issue and I think they do, but there are so much more people than cisgender men and woman out there lol

    • @chenmae9747
      @chenmae9747 Рік тому +8

      @@ariadnajaime6295 Shes talking about her experience as a woman, we already know the history of how we were treated and are treated. Men "rule the world" and have much better privilege, ik so shocking

  • @aissalubisi_17
    @aissalubisi_17 Рік тому +85

    Hey Jasmine, thank you for always putting yourself out onto the internet and making people, including me, feel less alone. Love you, big sis ❤

  • @mint_leaf_lie
    @mint_leaf_lie 4 місяці тому +1

    ngl, our potion for 100% confidence is YOU! you make us 100% confident and inspired to try new things:)

  • @shaneyeuhh
    @shaneyeuhh Рік тому +7

    shes so real for thattt, im so happy that youre doing much better than you were as a teen, your teen self deserves the biggest hugggg

  • @MariaSilv-vc4xj
    @MariaSilv-vc4xj Рік тому +11

    i literally love girls talk with jasmin, she's so realistic in what she say, and I admire her for that, I LOVE YOU JASMINE!!!

  • @Lily-ig1rt
    @Lily-ig1rt Рік тому +5

    I grew up in a rural area with a lot of VERY white people (literally 95% of my classmates had super blonde, straight hair, blue eyes, skinny) and was always picked on. I had brown "poop" eyes that are deep set and large, a bigger Roman nose, soft jaw, and a softer body type. I always hated it. But now, I see how beautiful my grandmother and my mother were, and I have all of their features. It's such a shame that we look down on people who don't look exactly like everyone else. I see so many girls getting their beautiful big noses "fixed" and it breaks my heart. Hopefully someday, this ideal changes, but I'm not holding my breath. All we can do is keep reminding ourselves that we have our ancestors' features, and be proud of them.

  • @ali_bleu
    @ali_bleu Рік тому +10

    Girl. Ur literally my inspiration. I’m beginning my “beauty” journey right now and experimenting new things. LOVE YOU JASMINE🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

  • @sigmasfinalbraincell2816
    @sigmasfinalbraincell2816 Рік тому +9

    i personally wasn’t exposed to social media with all its beauty standard stuff, all that jazz. i didn’t feel insecure about myself until around high school, i more so just didn’t think much of it.
    from what i see in school, pretty privilege is so prominent. the “pretty girls” are all treated nicely and many people are open to talking to them. big friend groups, running for student gov and passing with little to no competition. basically what i’m saying is insecurity could also just stem from your peers and your environment. i’d love to be more confident with how i present myself but it’s difficult when you can clearly see the differences between yourself and the other girls with how you’re treated.

  • @Naddi_
    @Naddi_ Рік тому +8

    It's the fact that certain Asian features become trends, as if they didnt hate it a few months ago and they just see Asian features as thing to pick up to be more popular, which is so messed up.
    I'm South Asian but i live in England but the representation in media isn't that big for us. When ppl come up to me, they think that I'm Indian, Malaysian and everything else, but that representation is not as prominent. But, yeah, these beauty standards need to go, I wish they didn't exist, makes life a whole lot harder

  • @rayintheghetto118
    @rayintheghetto118 Рік тому +8

    thank you so much for talking about this. i feel like social media has helped in some ways but harmed in others. like ive found my style and am seen as “attractive” but i remember how harmful some of those beauty standards were, and how difficult it was when i didn’t fit into that societal mold.

  • @dig2341
    @dig2341 Рік тому +12

    Your brain dump is really insightful and on point! I’m always impressed by how you can be so relatable and accurate in your talks ❤

  • @moekarriee
    @moekarriee Рік тому +84

    I feel like poc features are considered pretty once they are on yt ppl and not on poc that have it naturally.

  • @poppymc1ntosh
    @poppymc1ntosh Рік тому +4

    i love this sm as someone who got a drastic glow-up in the past few years, i felt the change in how people treated me but i still don’t feel all that different. love your vids jasmine, the subtitles are really cool btw 🫶

  • @mr.potato4599
    @mr.potato4599 Рік тому +7

    thank you so so much Jasmine!!!! you really do feel like a big sis and i love seeing an Asian influencer who's as confident as you but still able to be vulnerable enough to make this video. even though we have completely opposite reactions to the beauty standards we felt as a teenager (i am so scared to like. actually go out in public and wear makeup) i really get that about growing up with filters and social media bc sometimes it feels so silly to be worried about how i look and whether i'm pretty enough and i feel so alone because there are so many incredibly terrible things going on in the world and all i can think about sometimes is the girls on tiktok who i'll never live up to, but i'm so glad to see you talk about some of those concerns too because they're not trivial, they really do have an effect on your mental health, they really unfairly affect girls who are surrounded by immense societal pressure especially girls of color.
    and also! i really feel like you're not part of the problem but the solution because everyone deserves to feel pretty, regardless of race and you being you and so famous and so confident and so cool as an Asian woman on UA-cam is honestly amazing when i think about all the white makeup influencer videos i tried to watch when i was younger 😭 so if you see this Jasmine thank you!!!!!!!

  • @emilyr02
    @emilyr02 Рік тому +16

    hii jasmine , this was an amazing topic to talk about it’s not easy to say out loud even more on screen but you being the big sis that we love and support did amazing by being honest it’s such a relatable topic for women that are and have gone through this and us as women are to be with one another on this journey of discovering self love for ourselves

  • @namabeni
    @namabeni Рік тому +5

    as I got older and as I was surrounding myself with people who enjoyed my company and personality, I started feeling more and more accepting of myself (still a work in progress). I wouldn't say I am pretty BUT even though I literally look the same (my face is the same, my hair is not coloured) I do feel a little cuter and I think that's good progress. Thank you, Jasmine. Thank you for this video. x

  • @Tigersox24
    @Tigersox24 Рік тому +1

    this really hit close to home for me! growing up i had a jaw deformity (severe underbite/crossbite) and definitely did not fit the conventional beauty standards because of it. i definitely relate to that feeling of trying to overcompensate in other ways for your “lack” of beauty. about a year and a half ago, my jaw was finally done growing ~age 21 and i had double jaw surgery to correct it and fix the slew of health issues i was dealing with as a result of it. i knew my appearance would change drastically, but what i never could have prepared myself for was how differently i was treated by the general public as a result of me now fitting the “conventional” beauty standards. i have never been treated this kindly by strangers, even complimented while at work or out in public on my appearance. sure, on one hand it feels nice to receive the validation that i have desired for so long. on the other hand it was quite disheartening to experience in real time the difference in the way that people are treated based on appearance. it really put into perspective just how much our society values our looks and in turn treats you accordingly.

  • @ninan3817
    @ninan3817 Рік тому +39

    I’m getting double jaw surgery tomorrow for my underbite and i’m so excited yet scared at the same time to look different. This video definitely came at the right time for me ❤️

    • @miyalol1862
      @miyalol1862 Рік тому +3

      hope it goes well!!❤

    • @ZombieR4T
      @ZombieR4T Рік тому +1

      You got this stay strong, Goodluck mate!

    • @taspari
      @taspari Рік тому

      Good luck hope it goes well! I hope to get double jaw surgery as well in the future :)

    • @Tigersox24
      @Tigersox24 Рік тому

      i know i’m late, but i hope your surgery went well!! I had mine done for an underbite/crossbite a little over a year and a half ago now and it was one of the best decisions i’ve made for both my physical and mental health! the recovery can be tough, but hang in there because it’s so worth it ❤️‍🩹

  • @kxizy4274
    @kxizy4274 11 місяців тому

    I’m just rewatching this video and I just love that you’re able to be vulnerable and open up about your personal experiences with gaining confidence and the struggles as an asian woman to meet the beauty standard. I just wanted to let you know that your content really means so much to me and you literally have such an amazing soul and seem so genuine! ❤️

  • @saliaaaa0.
    @saliaaaa0. Рік тому +4

    Thank you Jasmine for this new big sister talk. It helps me to understand myself better and feel less alone. You're really our BIG SISTER, love u so much 💓

  • @officerjazzi
    @officerjazzi 7 місяців тому

    Thank you for sharing your journey - I’ve been going through a similar journey of self acceptance for a few years now, and I struggle, even though I am happier with myself now than I ever have been previously.
    Vulnerability is powerful. Thank you ❤

  • @simplyjess9689
    @simplyjess9689 Рік тому +2

    just want to say it’s been so beautiful to see how much you’ve grown in confidence, I’ve been watching you for a couple years now & I feel like I’ve grown right beside you. (I went through the same exact thing that you spoke about in this video) . you are so so loved jasmine, never forget that! thank you! 🫶🏽

  • @emilyymads
    @emilyymads Рік тому +1

    omg FELTTT the part ab wearing contacts and actually being able to see myself while doing my makeup

  • @myec101
    @myec101 Рік тому +12

    I think that nowadays there is a constant pressure to be like someone else, to have that "perfect" beauty that others have and we need to fit into some sort of box so we don't get treated poorly which is messed up because no matter how a person looks like respect should always come first, and another thing is that beauty standards annoy me so much because It's like a copy and paste and I don't like that, beauty standards shouldn't exist honestly, what we could do is appreciate the different features that all humans have, to me it's so amazing how depending where you are there are some features that repeat and some others that mix (like for example a big nose with fox eyes idk) but with beauty standards now everyone looks the same and people start to hate some parts of their bodys. It's okay to have preferences and like more a physical feature than another but I don't think that we should shove down people's throats our physical preferences.
    Sorry for the long comment, and I hope I explained myself well.

  • @glitt.r
    @glitt.r 6 місяців тому +1

    This is so real, even now when people call me pretty I don’t believe them it’s so weird

    • @jasminele
      @jasminele  6 місяців тому

      right!!! it’s so odd how that happens. but i just know u are pretty hehe

  • @life713
    @life713 Рік тому +6

    My mom saw you first , straight away she said you were beautiful 🌷
    I always suffer from my sparse eyebrows And my skin , the comparison between me and my sister She is more beautiful than you and this talk
    But my friend once told me that you look beautiful and rare and my eyebrows are beautiful
    Sometimes we need just one word to recover ourselves⭐️
    Your kind words made me understand many things 🎀
    Thank you 🫶🏻🫶🏻.

  • @isoobelly
    @isoobelly Рік тому +7

    Jazzy this is off topic but ur hair is always so gorgeous, the colour red rly suits u!

  • @Maria.0.1
    @Maria.0.1 Рік тому +230

    In my case, I’ve always been considered “pretty”/“attractive” and it has left me feeling insecure in other ways.
    Women have told me that they are intimidated by me bc at first they thought I was rude or full of myself just because I’m shy and socially anxious and I don’t talk too much (I’m a lesbian so, women make me nervous lmao) and they are surprised I’m a nice person when I open up; so women don’t usually approach me and I’ve had friends that have resented me bc the guy they liked found me attractive, and I just feel so out of place even though it’s not my fault and I haven’t even tried to talk to their guys. And I’m just too shy to sometimes initiate conversations with women, even though I would love to have them as friends.
    ALL the men I’ve met only want to take something from me, (the guy doing my drivers license exam forced me to kiss him to pass my exam) guys are nice to me and I open up and quickly realize they are just trying to have something romantic/sex with me, and when I let them know that I’m a lesbian, they don’t think my friendship is worth it, and just stop acting like I exist, which has left me feeling like I’m not nice enough to hang around or that I’m not good enough to have as a friend and it has left me just trying to avoid all contact with men as much as I can.
    I hope this doesn’t sound like “aw poor me” Bc there are things that have absolutely been easier for me bc of my appearance (money for some reason?) but I just wanted to get this out of my chest, as I’ve felt kind of lonely my whole life.

    • @NK-zk2zv
      @NK-zk2zv Рік тому +71

      Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry about the drivers license guy, some people are just so evil. Take care

    • @victoriasvibesss
      @victoriasvibesss Рік тому +4

      I relate to this extremely. Sending love ❤️ we'll find our way.

    • @soupafleye
      @soupafleye Рік тому +1

      majority of men are trash and they’re the first to admit it

    • @minminsanie
      @minminsanie Рік тому +3

      lesbian here, I understand so much of what u just said, women have thought the same about me and I'm so sorry for what's happened with the men you've encountered in ur life, I went through similar things but please know that ur enough! ur not alone in this either ❤️‍🩹

    • @kidawesomeness123
      @kidawesomeness123 Рік тому +2

      Depending on how long ago it was and what state your in the drivers license guy can still catch a case

  • @faulle8083
    @faulle8083 Рік тому +1

    thanks for being eloquent and genuine in your videos. its comforting

  • @yado1153
    @yado1153 Рік тому +5

    Thank you so much for making this!! i have been going through the journey of accepting myself for my looks and what I was born with :D and this makes me not want to give up! thank you sosososoo much!

  • @wizzardiishlex
    @wizzardiishlex Рік тому

    tysm for opening up about how you still feel insecure sometimes. i always see these pretty girls online confess about how they USED to feel insecure, but never about how they feel in the present. i've been slightly struggling with insecurities & have been in the process of healing, so it's comforting to see people who are healing express how they still sometimes struggle with their perception of themselves.

  • @confused8957
    @confused8957 Рік тому +4

    I just know that one day this girl will hit the 1 million and I will be right there❤❤

  • @Ismbfbic
    @Ismbfbic 4 місяці тому +3

    Wdym “girl you’re not even that pretty” WHAT? YOURE SO BEAUTIFUL 😍

  • @ToastedMuffin
    @ToastedMuffin Рік тому +8

    In my family, (I’m half Korean) my mom is Asian and my dad is white, I always felt more comfortable around my moms side but when I was with my mom and brother- who looked more ‘Asian’ then me I always felt out of place because I looked more like my dad. Not to say that’s a bad thing I just wanted to say that I was Korean American without people being like “You’re Korean?!!”

  • @mirandatran
    @mirandatran Рік тому +9

    Love this “brain dump” , preach girl ❤

  • @cherrynatyy
    @cherrynatyy Рік тому

    you’re beautiful & i love you🫶🏻🫶🏻 i relate as i grew up not always being the pretty friend and feeling like i never fit the standard, but as i grew up & into myself i started getting treated differently and approached more by people. although i got prettier & technically started fitting the standard more, i still felt unfulfilled because i was focusing sm energy into being beautiful rather than the person i am on the inside & my hobbies. in all honesty, beauty standards suck and are stupid. absolutely everyone is beautiful in their own unique ways & it’s sm more worth putting most (if not all) of your time & effort into becoming the best version of yourself rather than fitting into the mold.

  • @lanix.ll7
    @lanix.ll7 6 місяців тому

    as a 16 year old gril, jasmine your video's are helping me to accept and love myself. i had and still have a not really good image of my body or my face. But i think more positive about myself. I really like your video's. :) ❤

  • @theonemystery9114
    @theonemystery9114 Рік тому

    2:27 absolutely relate to this and it kind of makes me question my self image again.
    Specially because of how fast the beauty standards are changing so it could be that the standards today might change completely tomorrow. and if that happens then what? am i going to go back to hating how i look?
    like somedays i feel kinda proud that i like how i look now, i am more confident now but again at the end of the day its just because i lost a lot of weight so now my body fits into the societal beauty standards.

  • @greta2091
    @greta2091 Рік тому +2

    your video just came up on my homepage and i'm so grateful i watched it. the last video of yours i watched was from like 1/2 years ago (when i followed you more consistenly) and i can see AND feel how much you've grown. ♡♡

  • @quackeddiamonds6497
    @quackeddiamonds6497 Рік тому

    jia lee looked exactly like me when i was younger and it was really comforting to know that its normal to just exist

  • @bifreesoul
    @bifreesoul Рік тому +4

    YEAS A NEW BUG SIS TALK!!! i love all your videos, they make me want to constantly improve 🩷

  • @regina_agl
    @regina_agl Рік тому +8

    Im not asian but I’m a proud latina and I relate so much. Having these white beauty standards really messed me growing up and also not being accurately represented in media. I still feel that mexicans like me have features that aren’t desirable and trendy, its not that I have to fit into the beauty standards but at the same time I wish I did

    • @melusinemm
      @melusinemm Рік тому +2

      Hi !! If you feel not accurately represented in média maybe you should start following peoples on social média that look like you
      It can help a lot ♡

  • @alvinseville4096
    @alvinseville4096 Рік тому +1

    You put this topic into such good words, this is the first video about it that I think actually expanded my perspective. This video was very comforting and helpful. Thank you Jasmine

  • @bunnii0111
    @bunnii0111 Рік тому +2

    ugh this is why i love jasmine 🖤🖤

  • @jonathanlovesadventure7838
    @jonathanlovesadventure7838 Рік тому +1

    You are the big sister we all need

  • @cacahueteschamuscados
    @cacahueteschamuscados Рік тому +9

    jasmine i love you so much i love how real you are. they make it seem like being white is the only way of being beautiful and if u ever get a compliment its always "you're pretty for..." and they say it like they're complimenting you fr while they're literally insulting your whole race. as u also said, beauty standards change, so if someone ever feels down about their appereance, ur time will come (im waiting for mine too lmao) so yea everyone is beautiful in their own way and remember, in a world full of people with the same body, same face, same hair color etc. it would be so boring, so cheer up 💝💝

  •  Рік тому +1

    Me as a 27yo African American & Hispanic person going to an all-white college. Holy shit I never felt so insecure about myself until then.

  • @mayau-t1308
    @mayau-t1308 Рік тому +4

    love ur big sis talks

  • @kaylap8414
    @kaylap8414 Рік тому

    it helps me so much to watch your videos to get motivation to keep going and being positive, it really helps to listen to you talk about your struggles as well as how you romanticize your life and your other cute vlogs. these kinds of videos are just as important as the others and you aren't letting anyone down, thank you for sharing with us jasmine :)

  • @darby609
    @darby609 Рік тому

    Something that I thought about was everyone is worried about themselves and their insecurities; even the people who you would consider pretty, are comparing themselves to you.

  • @eliarocca
    @eliarocca Рік тому

    Jasmine, you are truly the big sister I always knew I needed but never knew I had. I appreciate you making these videos so much, it really helps me and you’re someone who I look up to because of the way you make me and others feel so much better about ourselves and that it’s okay to not be okay and not always be happy. I love these girl talk videos so much, they’re so helpful and especially for me when I do have an older sister but we aren’t close at all. I love you so much and thank you for all your videos and for continuing to make them. You’ve helped me so much and I’m sure so many others as well. Your videos are always a huge ‘pick me up’ and whenever I’m not feeling the best about myself I know I can always go back and rewatch a video of yours to remind myself that it’s okay and it will be okay, and I will feel better and confident, if not right now, but definitely some where in the future. I also really appreciate the captions that you added to this video, I though they were super cute and really sweet. The captions honestly help me to remember and really listen to what you’re saying and really take it in. I also watch Via Li and I love her so much as well, it makes me feel more connected to you to know that you also watch her which is really cool! Again, thank you for all your girl talk videos, they truly are my favorite and for being the big sis I always knew I needed but never knew I had🤍

  • @katievanillla
    @katievanillla Рік тому +2

    I feel so annoyed when someone has a great personality, but because they’re not “ pretty” enough, someone with a really bad personality could have more opportunities than them if they looked “prettier”

  • @sanibabie
    @sanibabie Рік тому

    painfully relate to this, it feels like you're speaking my thoughts. its so nice to hear you talking about these topics

  • @Kittenwhiskersss
    @Kittenwhiskersss Рік тому +1

    It sucked i came from a small town where they based like beauty off of the same copy and paste. Blonde skinny cheer/dancer girl then I moved schools in a different town where everyone appreciated my smarts and looks and people would called me a fashionista. Bring in a more open minded campus and environment really helped me

  • @oxfeid
    @oxfeid Рік тому +2

    Jasmine ur legit a diamond in the rough and congrats on ur ted talkkk! also do u have any tips on how to be more productive????

  • @Alee.08_
    @Alee.08_ Рік тому

    its crazy how things about us are trendy. I have lots to relate about this and its how being a blonde haired blue eyes girl with a "perfect" body is super trendy likes thats so messed up like sometimes i get people come up to me and say stuff like "your hair and eyes are so pretty im so jealous" and its messed up bc it shows how much blonde haired and blue eyes are shown as "pretty" "beautiful" "trendy"
    Its also crazy how "you cant be Hispanic/Mexican/Spanish if you have naturally blonde hair and blue eyes" like that shows how much people are going with the what ever its called. apparently you cant even have your own ethnicity without getting comments bc ive had a lot of people calling me a "fake Hispanic" it really shows that people are so influenced by others. I hope you guys know that you don't need to fit into beauty standard to be beautiful. ❤

  • @harrypotterswifey
    @harrypotterswifey Рік тому +6

    hi jasmine i just wanna say thank you for all your videos and girl talks they really help me, i love you 💗

  • @anvii.sharmaa
    @anvii.sharmaa Рік тому +6

    hi jasmine!! these real talks are so encouraging and helpful ❤️❤️ love you

  • @Keesha
    @Keesha Рік тому +14

    So I’m black… let’s start there. But I too have hooded eyes, high cheekbones and full lips. I really appreciated watching you apply your makeup and I’ve picked up a few tips. Thank you. Also, I’m a bit older than you are, and I’ve learned that as you work on yourself, building and growing yourself your confidence and self love increases. That radiates into beauty. That’s why the people we believe are truly beautiful- often when you examine their faces, they’re often quite average. It also gets better with age. ❤

    • @Filmraven
      @Filmraven Рік тому +1

      That sounds like a gorgeous mix of features 🫶🏾

    • @Valentino016
      @Valentino016 Рік тому

      Same I have the same features

  • @alexx_xoxo
    @alexx_xoxo Рік тому

    i'm crying when you mentioned Ashley aka bestdressed, she's been my bestfriend during the start of pandemic, binge watch all her videos that totally make me feel good. And I am blessed I also discovered you for 2 years now. I miss best dressed here in YT tho 😭

  • @laylove000
    @laylove000 Рік тому

    Omg. Us younger girls and even guys definitely feel so much more of a pressure on looking a certain way for sure!! 12-15 years olds definitely are still young, yet us teens in that age range feel like we need to look more grown up. I’m tired of feeling like that bc we’re still kids. And we should be able to just live and not be expected to look a certain way!!

  • @disb5999
    @disb5999 7 місяців тому

    4:26 that's so true for me and i was shocked when it was the same for my boyfriend. He's really REALLY handsome, but he still had to work on other things, like intelligence: he always had the highest grades, he knows everything about anything, he reads a lot, he can really be one of those "1 in a million" of sucessfull people. No matter how beautiful you are, there will always be people that want you to STRESS about being the best, especially parents

  • @monikaho5775
    @monikaho5775 Рік тому

    0:47 Omg Via Li's videos are so good too 🥰 thank you for another great video Jas ❣️

  • @LexyBae
    @LexyBae Рік тому +1

    i definitely understand with the big lips - was always made fun of because of it back then, but then now they’re so accepting towards it.

  • @jenii.m
    @jenii.m Рік тому +1

    I could to talk about this topic all day cuz it makes me sad to only get treat better is to be "pretty"

  • @mansoor3159
    @mansoor3159 Рік тому +10

    Hey! Jasmine me and my sister really really love your contents so so so much and she loves your vlogs so so much and I wish you reach 900K Subscribers very very soon!💓💫😀

  • @maelysmejo6040
    @maelysmejo6040 Рік тому +1

    thank u for making this girl!! everything you said made sense and was sooo relatable and real

  • @onedirectionownsme6224
    @onedirectionownsme6224 Рік тому

    Thank you so so so much honestly I really needed to hear this because I've been struggling with my acne and I use makeup to cover it but yk it doesn't solve my lack of self love and you talking about all the things u said, I personally feel really heard and I feel alot stronger just by accepting my emotions by listeing to this. So thank you so much and I'm sending you lots lots of love 🤍🤍🤍

  • @MiaNWC
    @MiaNWC Рік тому

    I loved this video!!!! I'm 1 year older, but watching your videos over the years, I've always felt the big sis vibe anyway, and it's so cool growing with you and seeing you be more confident over the years.
    And idk if this makes sense to anyone else, but it's nice to see a Vietnamese girl do so well, too. I'm ethnically Chinese, but people always hate my birth country and only praise Japan and Korea while all these other East and SE girls are struggling 😭

  • @izzysouth25
    @izzysouth25 Рік тому +1

    This video lifted a massive amount of weight off my shoulders. Forever grateful for you and your authentic self. Never ever doubt the positive difference you make to so many young girls and women who watch your videos. You bring comfort and light to us 🩷

  • @j._lake
    @j._lake Рік тому +1

    3 MINUTESSSS!!!! So excited to watch

  • @divineantiwokewarrior
    @divineantiwokewarrior 3 місяці тому

    people that are pretty have a stronger divine blessing, the prettiness can to an extend be faked by divine blessing is very imoportant

  • @ayakappp
    @ayakappp Рік тому

    you’re such a role model 😢 i love you so much jasmine

  • @caroline_sm
    @caroline_sm Рік тому

    u have no idea how much this video helped me

  • @musiclover04428
    @musiclover04428 Рік тому +2

    Hi, this is for all the young girls out there! I already answered one of the comments with this but I will comment it here again:) Let me give you some big sister advice 🫶🏻 When you are around 13 you are actually still veery young, so you have your whole life ahead of you! Being „pretty“ doesn’t matter in the long run at all at this age believe me, it will do absolutely nothing. You are supposed to have fun and still enjoy being this age and go outside with your friends. I know you think „omg I’m a teenager now, I have to look pretty!“ (at least I thought like this) but you are actually supposed to just grow up. And that isn’t always „beautiful“. Everybody goes through weird and different phases throughout high school. When that is over things will come naturally and you WILL feel more confident in your body/looks. Comparison is a waste of youth. I’m sure you are already extremely pretty but we change and you will feel more at home in your body/looks and in yourself in a few years, trust me. And never ever change for anybody❤big love!!

    • @yourfavoriteoompaloompa139
      @yourfavoriteoompaloompa139 Рік тому +1

      “Feel home in your body/looks” and “Comparison is a waste of youth” really stuck out to me 🫂🫶🏽

  • @laurajimenae
    @laurajimenae Рік тому

    This video is very well elaborated!! The in-video captions, music, always immaculate as expected!!!❤‍🩹

  • @mayarakb652
    @mayarakb652 Рік тому +1

    This video made me soooo confortable, thank you Jas❤