My Codependent Mom has Died and Now I Must Let Go Even More
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- My codependent mom has died and now I must let go even more. My narcissistic dad has not and will not change. As a daughter of a codependent mom and a narcissistic dad, my only choice is to control what I can and to let go of the rest.
If you are the child of a narcissist, you may also be the child of a codependent. You may have been exposed to dysfunctional and toxic dynamics throughout your childhood. You may fear the narcissistic parent and feel compassion for your codependent parent and although this is normal, I would like to suggest you take a giant step back and see the big picture.
If you can relate to having been exposed to the codependent narcissist dynamic throughout your lifetime, you may be codependent yourself and even attracting narcissistic people. You may not know how to feel your feelings, honor your boundaries, or believe you have a right to live outside the narcissist's control.
This video is dedicated to my mom, who passed away on my birthday, who I believe was cognitively and emotionally paralyzed by codependency. My mother was also the adult child of an alcoholic and a victim of narcissistic abuse, although if she were alive, she would strongly disagree.
Like many codependent people, my mother had an uncanny ability to make herself believe everything was okay even when things were obviously NOT okay. In spite of my father's selfishness, maliciousness, and abusive behavior, my mother adored my father.
Because you have honored me with following my work, I wanted to share this very personal time in my life with all of you, in the hopes that me sharing how I am getting through this time, might help some of you who are also struggling with letting go of things you cannot control.
Rest in everlasting Peace mama...you are finally FREE of codependency and narcissistic abuse!
SHINE ON MAMA--SHINE ON!!!
Thank you for inadvertently teaching me the necessity of learning how to love the self.
Children of narcissistic parents, who are now suffering from codependency symptoms, may be struggling to learn how to love themselves after narcissistic abuse. Narcissists tend to attract people pleasers, or codependent personalities. Because codependents are eager to please, because they seek outside validation, they are easy targets for narcissistic lovers, and friends.
It is not easy to learn how to love yourself after narcissistic abuse, but with the right codependency recovery tools, it is possible. It is even possible to find love after codependency.
Lisa A. Romano is a world-renowned Certified Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in codependency, narcissistic abuse, the law of attraction, and mind shift training.
Her books are;
The Road Back To Me
My Road Beyond The Codependent Divorce
Codependent Now What? It's Not You-It's Your Programming
Loving the Self Affirmations 1 & 2
Quantum Tools To Help You Heal Your Life Now
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Today we say goodbye to my mom forever. It has been a rough couple of days complete with a ridiculous go around with my brother. Totally unnecessary--old family b/s rearing its ugly head. It is time to detach--observe--and to hold onto a higher thought. The rabbit holes are everywhere now. Before leaving my home today, I had to stop by this video to read many of your beautiful comments. Knowing there is a tribe of others out there that understand this journey we are on--helps tremendously.
Thank you for being a part of a community of adult children who just want to understand why they attract narcissists, cannot love themselves, who feel unworthy, and not enough. Thank you for sitting with me through my videos and allowing me the opportunity to come into your hearts and your minds. Thank you for helping me make sense out of my own pain. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to turn negative experiences into positives.
If what I learn in my life helps some of you let go, love the self, and find happiness and peace then making these videos and commenting on posts is so worth it.
I am grateful to come to a place where I can observe, feel, and honor the disconnect that always existed between my mom and me, and I can also appreciate how dementia gave me the mom I always wished I had. Dementia dissolved that barrier created by ACOA crap--it dissolved her passive aggressiveness--there was no more gaslighting--there was only, "Hello Lisa, I love you" and through a smiling face to boot.
May you all find a way to let go--whether your narcissistic parents, loved ones, spouses, girlfriends or boyfriends are ever able to get out of their own way.
Dementia helped my mom let go of whatever demons were holding her back from accepting and giving love freely, and especially with the one person she always had a hard time loving and accepting...me...
I will need your prayers and uplifting thought today Dear Ones...
I love you all..
We are ONE..
Children of the same Creator--
Just here--trying to figure it all out--so we can ENJOY this ABUNDANT planet we all call HOME!
Love,
Lisa xoxoxoxoxo
I know how days like today feel in life and I really feel for you, Lisa. So many people here are sending you love and light...
Bless. Your video was so touching. You are an inspiration. Hope everything goes well xx
Oh my God Lisa my condolences. I am in tears , I’ve really been thinking about you and your videos and thinking about how I want to overcome my codependent like you did. Your mother went through so much pain, this is the worst feeling ever I can sympathize.
I am so sorry for your pain. I know it tremendous. I love your open and free expression. Please know you are loved and appreciated by so many. Love and prayers for you Dear One.😘💞
Thank you to all of you who have helped me feel so much more peaceful at this time. My mother died, IMHO never really being free. As an unrecovered adult child of an alcoholic, who married a narcissistic adult child of an alcoholic when she was only 19, her entire existence was lived unconsciously seeking validation and love from the outside. My mother lived in denial of just how traumatic her childhood was. She was a caretaker at the age of 4, tending to her siblings, trying to clean the house and make up for her drunk mother and father's neglect. My mother did take her pain out on me--we never had a bond--I felt abandoned--very much like I am sure she did with her own mother. That is what UNCONSCIOUSNESS does. Living below the veil is a reactive existence. Although my mother chose not to drink--she did not have the life skills or the awareness to NOT pass along her childhood dysfunction. No, this is not her fault--but there were casualties. HOWEVER, this daughter has learned how to let go, honor her self, and how to break the cycle of CODEPENDENCY in her family line. Dementia softened the angst between my mother and I, and towards the end, it was as if, the mother I always wanted to know had emerged. Dementia, somehow stripped my mother of her fear, her trauma, and her uncomfortableness with connecting with me. Seeing my mother lose her ability to care for herself, allowed me to let down my guard and my fear too. Growing up, I never knew when my mother would throw shade my way. However, her illness turned out to be a miraculous tonic for the rift that had stood between us for so long. I want you to know that I am doing well--and even better than I ever could have expected. I am grateful for my recovery and the codependent tools I have learned along the way that have allowed me to detach, love the self, stay in the flow of non-resistance, and to let go of what I know I could never control. We are ALL on the same path. We are all children of the same creator--and ultimately we are all here to learn to love the self--no matter how many people 'out there' cannot and are incapable of loving us. When we come to this place--of acceptance--we can also slip into the abundance of grace--beauty--and splendor that is all about our glorious planet. There IS LOVE EVERYWHERE--but only when you have learned to DISCIPLINE your mind enough--to let go of what needs to be gone in your life--can your eyes be drawn to the beauty around you. YOU ARE LOVE--no matter what--YOU ARE LOVE--and when you KNOW this to be true--you will be overjoyed and even surprised at the beauty and abundance that was around you the whole time. Thank you again--for being a part of this AMAZING healing UA-cam FAMILY--Thank you for subscribing--thank you for supporting me--thank you for loving me--and for helping me feel as if my pain has helped some of you...WE ARE ENOUGH!!!!!!! I bow to the love and the light that is ABSOLUTELY in YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.
Well said..🙏🙏🙏
Lisa🌸
Thank You for teaching me how to detach emotionally from the things I hold dear and close to my heart...My life was filled with narcissism until I awakened at 52..now 54 as of 2/28...my two adult children tainted by this hidden demon could have been the icing on the cake to my demise...but the veils were removed and im a survivor and in healing mode everyday...not willing to allow my 3 grandsons this same fate....I concider myself the narc slayer of the family now:):(...no more no more no more...
You are a beacon a ray of light through a darkness that can barely be explained unless you are talking to another victim...so please know you are a lamp for us all....I love you and I Thank you with my entire being.
Shine on!!!!
#Condolences
My thoughts of love and light are with you and yours as you navigate your mother's transition. You are a recently-discovered companion on my wholeness journey. :) I am thankful for you and all that you do in the name of multidimensional health for the highest good of all.
Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. My Prayers are with you
Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. Yes Lisa your pains from the past you used it for good and are helping me and many others. I brought three of your books two of them arrived yesterday and I can’t stop reading! I’m listening to you And reading at the same time! I have to get out of those traps of long ago set by my parents. I love you so much!! Thank you for giving to me hope and making me hopeful. God bless you!
Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Love and light and the very best to you.
You are such a beacon and a beautiful light for so many that have been hurt by narcissist. Your work may not saved your greatest hope to save, your mother, but the ones you have saved is probably in the hundreds if not thousands. All of what you have endured is not in vain. Including this.
Thank you J Romeo....
It’s hard to deal with such opposite emotions: the love you naturally feel for your parents and the confusion, hatred, and therefore guilt, you feel for all the pain they make you go through ... I feel connected to your pain because I have had to deal with the same disfunction throughout my entire life ... you are like a hero to me Lisa, a role-model, and a source of hope and inspiration, I am 62, will turn 63 in April, my dad passed in 2008, and right now I’m trying to find peace of mind ... I don’t want to see my mom, she just turned 83 this past February 27, I keep my distance, I didn’t say happy birthday, and I now understand so much thanks to you, I am still dealing with my emotions of love towards her, but hatred and resentment at the same time, and guilt, and fear of perpetuating the role she gave me of being the black sheep of the family and the source of her pain. You have helped me in a way you can’t imagine. You have helped me understand a little bit, well, a huge bit! Thank you so much Lisa!! I just want you to know that I’m there with you to give you a big hug, and with that big hug give you a feeling of strength and love. I see you as a sister because you even look like one of my real sisters ... we are all dealing with the same kind of stuff ... so thank you again, I love you ❤️💕 namaste dear Lisa, thank you for calling all of us your followers your dear ones!! It means a lot, ❤️ 💕
This video will be a beacon of light for many years to come, guiding ppl who are lost in the world of Narcissism! Her mom was apart of this guiding light. She was the conduit for a beautiful lesson to us. Together they co-created a blue print teaching us how to control what we can and let go of what we can not!! She’s our “Lisa is our Guiding Light” in dark times! This too shall pass!!!
So sorry for your loss and having to witness how narcissistic your father is even at her death. No they never change. You are so right, it is us that have to change. This was a great video, thank you. Take care, enjoy your time with family and friends. I think taking everyone on a bus was a fantastic idea.
Amen, Khamsin.
Ditto!
And much love to ya Lisa! You have opened my eyes to the Narcissist that tormented my Mom, my brothers and me.
This made me cry. Same here, same thing. My mum died Christmas day a few days ago, and the flood gates opened with the dynamics of our relationship, the step dad who came into my life and got inbetween us. My life of who I was as a kid. All of it, it's very strange. My mum, dementia, got up out of her chair in the common room in the care home, walked to the front common room, sat down on her own, and died. I now feel I have a non restrictive relationship with her, without him who abused her. She was not easy to get on with and wasnt there emotionally for me. But we could laugh so much. She didnt want anyone to bother over her. Dementia, she struggled. He spoke to her so disrespectful with no patience, complaining about how she shat all over or how long it took to eat. She was diabetic, he brought her chocolate every day. No compassion. He denied me access to her alone. But I told the care home about him. I saw mum and in a lucid moment told her I knew he was controlling .. she was pleased I knew. My mum was abusive, immature, angry at things that had happened .. but she didnt deserve any of it, she was miserable and caustic with him, but codependent with him. I realised this year about him. My kids dont know. I disappeared from him. Long story. Mum is now dead, he now has a pacemaker and he now is alone. And I am resembling in my mind who I am and who me and my mum were without him.
Sincerest condolences, sending you love x
Received xoxoxo
Thanks for an inspirational share Liza.
Hold on too Jesus's last words.He also said,"forgive them Father,for they know not what they do."
Wow, Lisa sorry for your loss. Please know that the dysfunctional nature of their relationship brought us together. And as such, you have helped me to hang on in this life. For the first time in 10 years, i have hope, because of you. One day I hope you and your family will come to visit me in Africa, so i may show you the greatness of this continent. May you find comfort
You are a beautiful daughter and such a loving energy 💚 Love you Lisa ☀️ Very sorry for your loss
Namaste Tamika--peace has come--all is well..love you too xoxoxo
You won’t see this but what a beautiful tribute to your mom ❤️ as I look back now ( automatic pilot ) when my dad passed away he was a narcissistic alcoholic. I don’t remember feeling anything. Now on my recovery some 26 years later I now understand I was incapable of feeling or even knowing what it was .
it took me sixty years to understand and make sense of what my father was to me and my mom and siblings. i didn't understand why i felt relieved when he passed. didn't attend his funeral even though my brothers and sisters did. never visited his grave and didn't even realize that he was in the same cemetery as my beloved sister. what i have come to learn about how my life had been colored by this "dark force" has finally crystallized for me. i have learned so much thanks to people like you on youtube, lisa. i have learned to spot the narcissists and steer clear of them. i'm grateful for never again giving away my life and nearly my sanity to the intractable evil that lives for itself. malignant narcissism is the only "disease" that victimizes everyone but the sick one. it is so very important that you have afforded your mom's family and friends an avenue to remember and grieve her. my condolences, lisa. peace.
sophie morrison your words validate me, resonate with me. Thank you.
Very powerful. I've been trying to save my mother from her co-dependence. This video snapped me out of trying to control something I can not. Thank you. My blessings Lisa
Your clarity about the funeral and the best option for family and friends shows your strength and love, even while suffering this loss. So glad you were able to break free, God is so good.
She finally gets to be her true Self. I wish you nothing but love and peace during this difficult and painful time.
Lisa, I am sad about your loss. My Mama died in September, one day before her 75th birthday, so I know your pain. I know too, that the complexity falls away in our initial grief and we’re left staring at the pure love that was ... and is ... us, Mother and Daughter. I know in my heart that she was proud of your many accomplishments and that she loves you deeply. My heart is with you sending all the good energy I can. I love you. Godspeed to your Mama and condolences to your family. 🙏🏼💕✨
namaste Lisa, I'm sure your mom is proud of how her daughter managed the situation like a true powerful spirit that she is now and have always been, she's definitely in bliss right now out of this physical limited world .. thank you my dear I bow to the love and light that's absolutely in you
Dear Lisa
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and my condolences go out to you and your family. Your hard work is not done in vain. You reach out to so many people you probably can't imagine. I cried when I hard this news, know that you are not alone.
Thank you so much for your good work I am grateful to you x
Sending lots of love Lisa. xx
Thinking of you Lisa! Sending you love and light 💕❤️🌈
My deepest condolences Lisa heal in your own unique way it's never easy to lose a loved one your mom is forever in your heart. 🦋🌷♥️
Sending blessings of love to you and your family
Lisa, my heart goes out to you and to those that love your mother. You are amazing to have risen above such family dynamics and thank you for sharing your journey with us. Rest in peace 💗💗💗🌞🌞🌞
You are powerful, beautiful and Loved. Thank you for the light you openly share. May it come back to you in your darkest hours.
Thank you for your revelations about your mother.
I had anger toward my mother that went unexplained. I know the N-father was abusive, so my anger was “justified”.
Until you mentioned your mother’s anger toward you as a child, it finally made sense! SHE helped to create part of my lack of self-worth, not just by her lack of modeling a strong, healthy woman in a difficult relationship, but by her taking out her frustrations on me and my siblings.
Im dealing with the awareness of “perfection” being a strong hindrance to a happy life for me. I MUST, am willing to, let go of perfection.
Blessings for you, at this challenging time!❤️
Oh Lisa, so sorry to hear about your mom.
But, she's not suffering anymore. It's a shame for the life she chose.
But, if she hadn't, you my dear would not be the person that you are today...you have helped people grow & be strong enough to go on with our lives.
I love you Lisa.
As you have said, Keep Moving Forward.
Much love & light to you & yours. Blessed be.
Much respect to you! Your dad probably wishes nobody would show up seeing how difficult he is making it for everyone. Him seeing how you will bring some decency and respect for your mom and loved ones will sure to get a rise out of him. Happiness is not his strong suit when it comes to anyone . He is a fool. And will have a rude awakening. This to you cannot control. As a mom... I'm positive your mom will see you as the mom and person she could have been. She knows now. She is proud of you and greatful beyond words. Your her angel!!!
I know honey. I have that kind of mom, too. Not as malignant as yours but tough just the same for any child. Birthdays and deaths have a lot of coincidences in my life. Your blessed that you were born with an empath! You soul was more advanced when you were born! My sibling are and mother is, my dad passed away. All covert narcs. I was the loving kind child. I understand you. I was gaslighted as child so I got out of house. I had a life of kind friends that helped me. Discovering this aha was 2 years ago when I had a narc boyfriend and was trying to look up what the hell is wrong with him. It’s all came to light. My siblings, my mom and my Dad. I wish I could share my stories with you.
A loss is a loss is a loss. I’m sorry for your pain. Many losses are a relief and painful.
my deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family. I admire your strength and resilience and your compassion for your mother. sending love ❤️ ❤️
I went no contact with my family of origin. Within a couple months the ex narc and I had also parted ways.
It was an awakening.
Lisa, I am so sorry for your loss. I agree, its so hard to let go of what you cannot change. Bless you on your birthday too! I'm sending loving vibes your way.
BRILLIANT idea of renting a bus for all her closest friends and family, Lisa! Wow!! You are SUCH a beautiful example of strength and survival through narcissism and truly a beacon of light for so many, including myself. Thank you for sharing your personal story, and I am sending you my love and light and praying for healing and love during the coming days💙🌟
This is one of the most beautiful, moving videos I have ever seen. Thankyou for sharing this difficult time and for the work you do
Namaste Vicki Lynn
Love you Lisa. Thank you. I’m Narc free but all alone right now from family/friends. At these darkest moments , you help me make it through. This video resonates. The most painful of the past is how awful things were done but it was accepted like it was normal. No validation, no feedback. I Knew of the Pink elephant/alcoholism 30 yrs ago but never knew the deeper putrid layers. I never knew of the Narcissist. The past and the world today makes sense now. Im working on boundaries and protective force fields for when out there. It is exhausting. They’re everywhere.
They are everywhere but we also are everywhere!. If we, empaths, empower ourselves no more narcs will have power in our lifes!.. we will see them like a part of the landscape!. I am sure beautiful people are waiting us as new family when we health!!. Keep walking!. Lighter days are waiting for us!. -🙄
Go forward, letting go and letting go some more, with great courage. I can feel the love your mother struggled to show you finally being there in some way! I'm glad she had friends that you will be able to be with. Namaste and so much love.
Take good care of yourself and fly free 💖🌹 May your Mom rest in peace and love.
I am sorry for your experience the same that motivate you to be at so higher place and to thrive and make people around the world heal after you succeeded in this journey of loving and healing the SELF. I observe that narcissists live longer than their codepedendant victims ( my grandmother was raped, abused for 54 years and died 9 years earlier than her husband sociopath). My heart goes to you dear Lisa
Hey J F . Thats a real good point. My codependant father died 11years ago but my mother is still going strong at the age of 82 controling those she still can..!!!
J F why is it that they can live longer?!?! They’re so toxic and cruel! My mom is the narcissist and my dad is the sweet codependent my dad is in his 90s my moms in her late 80s even now she’s so controlling and uncaring to him it makes me angry and sad. I hope he lives longer than her!
norton done because they do not consume themselves as the victim suffered the abuse inflicted and I really recommend you all to read an worldwide life changing book scientific also THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE ( i bought in kindle format i had it in on click the app is free) where is explained how emotional trauma is stored in our cells and in time if we do not heal as Lisa Romano described her physical symptoms before healing, can create cancer, auto immune diseases and heart and endocrine diseases. The new branch in medicine called PSYCHONEUROIMMUNOLOGY exactly this is studying right now which is a breakthrough. My heart goes to you
J F thank you!! I will get that book! The Lord God is really helping me to grow in so many ways. He brought me to Lisa’s channel and WOW I have never felt so happy about a God given gift of Lisa and many of her followers. I will absolutely go out and buy that book. I just order some of Lisa’s books and still haven’t received them as of yet. I like to read and read A lot!! Health physical and mental mainly I don’t have time for novels as of yet. I’m on the path to healing. My love to you! You are a gift as is Lisa 🎁
norton done you are on the right path. I feel your hunger to grow and heal and because you search these answers they will come to you progressively. Happy for your journey. The books you can have them in real time by installing the app which is free KINDLE on every It support and read them right away - for ecological and practical way I bought all my books in kindle format from AMAZON. You are blessed for the awakening in this lifetime and Lisa is our amazing emotional and quantum guide. Namaste:)
Your solution, hiring the bus and honoring those who also loved her, and your level of mastery of self even while you grieve, are pure soul beauty. ❤
You go girl!!! Your strength shines through in this video and I feel you. Sending you love, light and my deepest condolences. Your have a beautiful soul that shares truth, love and knowledge to help others awakened. I'm so glad I found you, and you are you!
Hi Lisa, you moved me to tears with your strength and dignity. You have helped me more than you will ever know and I always pass on your name to others who ciukd do with your kindness, wisdom, experience and honour. I'm so sorry you are grieving the death of your mother. She will be forever proud of you. Big Scottish love and big to you. Namaste. X
Some people find peace & comfort in codependency. RIP to your mom
AdrienneStarr is that so? To b happy that ur a slave? I dont believe that. Sorry.
My deepest and most sincere condolences to you and your family Lisa. A few months ago, quite by accident, I found out my severely narcissistic mother had passed seven months earlier. Thank God I had done the healing and forgiveness work long ago. She had discarded me when I was a toddler and any attempts I made in my adult life to have a relationship with her failed. I never stood a chance with the woman. Now that she's crossed over, I talk with her regularly. My mother too was a bi-product of a very sick dynamic. Although I know I deserved so much better than what I got, I am grateful that I grew to a place of being able to see it all so clearly, forgive and have compassion for her... in my case... from a distance. Thank you for sharing so openly with us and for all that you do. You are a major inspiration in my life. Much love and big hug to you!! xx
Oh dearest Lisa, I am so overwhelmed with emotions as I watched and listened intently to you so eloquently share quite possibly your deepest level of grief thus far. I have learned so very much from your strength, grace and class as you have heeded the calling not only for yourself and your children but, for everyone else who's found themselves in that dark and lonely corner. I can say with complete certainty that you are honoring your mother's legacy in the truest way of honor, love and compassion! You, Lisa A. Romano, are one of the very few people to have penetrated the wall of steel surrounding the core of my heart and soul. You are one amazing soul shining so brightly for those of us who had come to terms with just existing until our time is up. I love you, Lisa and I feel your grief yet at the same time, I understand the relief of your closure. You are even more beautiful today then I once knew you to be. I would love to be in touch with you one on one via email when things settle with you and your family. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. XOXO
I am sorry for your lost. I lost my mother 28 years ago to kidney failure who was codependent her father abused my grandmother & cheated on her. Also my father who cheated on my mother who abandoned 4 kids while she was basically dying. My father came from an alcoholic mother & father whom I NEVER met. I have a half sister who I adore & I let go of that anger before he passed away 10 years ago. Unfortunately, I met & married a person in the same profession as my father for 18 years, I am going through a nasty divorce & we have three children who he cheated & abandoned us. I see the pain in my girls eyes & hearts. He even went to far to discipline our 16 year old daughter, it was his weekend & he already lives with his gf & her kids since he left. Authorities we're called as he is the police as the Detective completed this investigation nothing was done. I believe they protect their own. He hit her multiple times actually punched her in the head. He to is a police officer along with his girlfriend . I understand my daughter has to have a level of respect & said things towards his gf that didn't need to be said she was angry & afraid & he feelings their feelings are never validated..Like mine. I am doing the best I can with the sources I have. The 10 year old is still young but she was there at the time of the incident still loves her father & feels ok to be over there. My oldest 19 is in college & living in the dorm close to home because I had to sell our house & move into an apartment & didn't know where or how far from her school she was going to travel by train.( it's in the same city). So many things have happened in a small amount of time for me & them. I keep going..getting through it. The checks he has to give me since he actually prints out pay to the order of Ex Raquel Molina.
Free at last. Too bad she couldn’t evolve like you did. Tragedy of codependency. Sending love gratitude and healing to you Lisa.
Hey Lisa. Thank you for sharing. .So brave doing a video at this sad time. I feel so much for you lisa, it's a wonderful idea to take your mom's friends and family to the funeral. Your Dad cant control Everything... Sending you so much love from England.. 💖💖💖💖💖💖
Lisa, you are an amazing example of healing from childhood trauma, (which can carry into our adulthood) and walking in the light and love.Thank you for your transparency, and sharing. I often refer to my friend that is in a wheelchair, that I was in an emotional wheel char for ALOT of my life. I’m greatful that you are doing what you can, for you, your Mom’s friends, and overcoming evil, with good.(Romans 12:21) 🙏🏼❤️🌷 God bless you, and may creator be close with you during this time.
Lisa, thank you for sharing your authentic self. I feel so sad for the narcissist and the world they create around them. Your message of 1 2 3 is very helpful. May you feel the love from this community as you put your mom to rest. Rest in peace, Lisa's mom.
Condolences! Thanks for your honesty and sharing. 💞
Lisa I’m so sorry to hear your mum died on your birthday. What a sad day for you. You have helped me so much and I love all your videos. Sending you a massive bunch of imaginary flowers here from me in England 💐 . I’ve been codependent, and suffered two abusive relationships, but now I’m free and emotionally I’m such a better place.
My dad died three years ago this month. He was a man of heart and sound convictions, and I miss him so. My mums in a carehome with severe Dementia . She had Narcisstic traits and could be very abusive towards me. Now she can say nothing.
You have made that difference here with your words , and I see you as a strong and courageous women.
Sympathetic healing wishes to you at this difficult time. Namaste and god bless.
🙏🏼💕🌈🌸🇬🇧 xxx❣️
Love to you and great respect for your work at this and all times
Dear sweet lisa you are a woman whit a heart of gold, and im crying and i feel your pain of losing your mum, my sincerest condolences, i so can understand that you could never reach more mum, but it is not your fault dear Lisa,you did the best you could, im in the same situation, when i was in my 20ties i saw the unhealty dynamics between my parents i talked to them many times how unhealty the mariges was and beg them to go in to therapie they dragged me Always in to there fights, my mother was scared of my father and was running for him,my father could not feel compassion for here,, my mother had me when she was almost 18 and my father was 20 ,im also 53 and they are still married unbelieveble but true, i distance myself from them 8 years ago,because my mother was Always asking me what do yoy think what he said to me? at the end i said 24 years ago i told you bouth that it is a realy unhealty marrige but when he bought here a expencive precent,that was his way to shut here up, the dead of your mum do a lot to me firts i feel for you and sending you so much love, and it also frigtening me because my mom is now 70 and my hands are tight to my back knowing i can not give here the information what i learn from you Dear Lisa, wishing you love and light X
So, so sorry for your loss Lisa! I know it hurts on so many levels right now. As you said though, 'she is codependent no more, shine on mama'. Sending love and virtual hugs to you and your family. Thank you for sharing. Even in your grief and emotional pain, you reached out to help us. You are awesome.
Blessings to you.. May your mother rest in peace. May you live in peace. I want to express my thanks you tenfold for the inspiration you have provided.
Happy b dear one, I wanted to save my mom too, blessings & love you helped me beyond words sending you strength during your loss peace my sister!!
I’m sorry Lisa. Thank you for sharing with us even during such a hard time.
So beautifully raw and brave and honest, even in your pain...I cried for you listening to this, and for me too as I remember feeling so very similar after my mom died. I wish peace for you and your family Lisa during this most difficult of times. ❤
'I choose love'. I love that. This is beautiful Lisa. Sending you much love and light🙏. I too, choose love🙏💝.
You are in my thoughts and prayers, Lisa. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us - even the toughest ones. You are helping and saving even more people than you know. Sending you love and hugs.
Sending you so much love and support Lisa. I truly admire your strength in all of the complexities. You are beautiful between smiles and so appreciated. Blessings, love and deep gratitude
My deepest condolences Lisa. You've helped me so much and even now, in your time of grieving have inspired me with your strength and compassion. I will keep your mom, you and your family in my prayers. Much love and light to you.
Sorry, Sistah Sin, my deepest condolences.
My folks were brilliant intellectual alcoholics and had minors in drama at college. I still can't decipher which one was the Narcissist. And who was the codependent. Sucks to be us.
Although in the 80's we started seeing Adult Children of Alcoholics and understanding codependent behavior, I didn't learn all my lessons.
Thought I had conquered this in the 80's. Nope. Parents are passed.
Have Narcissism in my children. I married one.
Thank you, for sharing your faith, hope, and knowledge, sister.
Beautiful lady💖 you have such strengh.Sending love 💞
This video really shows the seriousness of the Narcissist/ Codependent relationship even at the end of ones life. I see that bus trip as a way for you to make some beauty from the ashes literally. I watched a movie called Meditation Park last night about an elderly couple from Hong Kong who had a dysfunctional relationship. At the end of movie this little lady FINALLY says the words "It's not all about you." As she walks away it felt like she was walking out of prison that she had been held hostage for so many years even though some of it was of her own making. That is how I feel now that my Dad passed 16 months ago. I no longer feel like a hostage physically but I still feel I need to be set free more emotionally and spiritually. Thank you so much for walking through your journey of life with us. My heart goes out to you as you process this all publicly. You are a courageous women. HUGS
Thank you for sharing, Lisa. Sending love and light 💖🙏
A beautiful revelation. I will glean from this video when the time comes. Thank you.
thank you for being so open....may the Angels comfort you Dear One.
The same thing happened to me when I left my wonderful narc ex husband. My mother told me she didn't see anything wrong with him. And it was so sad that I was getting a divorced. She passed in 2014. She knew what was going on for a long time. I guess it would make her look bad. Thank you for your wisdom.
My condolences to you and to yours. I will keep you in my prayers, Lisa Romano. I will pray that the love, the light you shine so brightly, is reflected in us and finds it's way back to you, so you can heal too...
Thank you Travis...
I Am So Sorry for Your Loss 💝 Wrong or Right, it’s still hard and it will still stir up a lot of emotions 🎁 Be Kind To Yourself as You Heal Through this Sacred Process Love 💗💗💗
I'm so sorry Lisa. May she rest in peace. Much love to you and your family.. We love you!! Stay strong 💜
Lisa, my condolences to you and your family. May you continue to have love and strength. You have definitely made such a positive impact on so many lives, mine being one of them. I definitely would be proud to have you as a daughter. I thank you for your transparency, your vulnerability and honesty. The way you're handling the funeral arrangement situation is admirable. May you continue to let your love and light shine. Thank you so much. You are truly loved and appreciated. Michelle. Namaste. 🌹🥀❤
Awwww Im so so sorry Lisa Romano I send love and comfort to you at this time. My condolences to you and your family. You take what time you need to grieve. 🙎🙏🙌🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜
Namaste dear one...
Bless you. Loved your heartfelt video. Your soft spoken voice. Your candid. I too have a mom who birthed me at age 17 and resented me her whole life. Blamed her whole life on me, made me a scapegoat. My father, too, blamed me for having a miserable life with my narcissistic mom. She is 70 now and doesn't speak to me anymore after I told her I know she's a narc. I had to accept that. i dread the day I'll get a call or an email informing me of her physical death although in another way she has already died to me. But the grief goes on. I received comfort from watching your video and I thank you. Sending you love during this hard time.
I think that's probably one of the most powerful videos I've ever seen on youtube Lisa. Holding light and awareness at such a challenging time and being able to share that with us, is awe-inspiring. I will be thinking of you next Tuesday, from across the world and praying a supernatural peace and clarity for you. Every blessing ❤❤❤
Your life is like a mirror of my own.......I so admire how you are honoring your feelings and practicing self care in all of this. I'm so glad I found you, and that you are sharing all the lessons that you have learned.
Sending you my condolences and lots of love. I think it is very significant that she passed on your birthday. Thank you so much for your openness and courage to share this with all of us. You are helping so many of us Lisa. Thank you for being an inspiration. You are such a beautiful, powerful soul. ❤️❤️❤️ much love
My condolences. Thank you for sharing your story. Peace.
May she rest in peace, many blessings .
I've always wondered how I'll feel when this moment happens for me... I'm thankful you've shared this difficult time so that maybe this moment can be less frightening for those of us who have this moment yet to come.
So sorry for your loss...I love watching your videos, so love your work. Thank you for sharing your stories.....it has made me realize what my child was like and I now I am in the waking process... Love you☺
By the way I am also an alcoholic. I had a bit of relief when my father died. I knew he would never hurt anyone ever again. And then I thought about how much that would annoy him going through eternity not being able to punish or cast judgement on others. He had a special hatred for me and I was his only child. He was always going to teach me a lesson. At the end he said I wish I could have done more for you. I said no thanks...you've done way to much already. He knew what I meant.
Thank you for sharing how you walk your talk, even when it's absolutely the hardest to do. It's inspiring to hear a specific story about how you can choose love even as you're coordinating an event with someone so incapable of true compassion. Your vulnerability is a precious gift to those of us who follow you.
Lisa I am sending you healing thoughts, and vibrations, as you've done for me. My heart goes out to you, and breaks a little for your mom's experience. Thank the universe that she's in a better place!! Love Love Love to you Lisa! The mama I never had
I wish that all the comfort encouragement insights and strength you have shared with us be reflected back infinitely magnified to you to support you in this heart wrenching time...
Thats the weirdest and most spiritual thing i have ever experienced in my life i am stunned.
Firstly i am so sorry for your loss.
As a single mum of a one year old little boy i have a codependent narc/ bpd mum. My father is bipolar irresponsible and uses drugs and i have gone no contact with him. My mum gaslights me and makes me question my perception of reality. She makes out ' its just how ive seen it' that i have 'made it up in my head' and has done this recently infront of my little boy so i am trying to find the strength to not speak to her as she needs me more than i need her. She needs my son 'on her side'. She looks after my son one day a week so i can have a break but it feels conditional on me neglecting my own life, putting up with manipulation and emotional abuse which she will deny. My whole family cant see what she does! She is asleep no matter what i try to explain and i feel so angry at her and frightened to go out into the world alone. This video had me in bits but the way you are handling your situation with such strength (and with such spiritual intelligence) has advized me on what to do in my own situation. Anger is destructive and going forward i am going to focus on breaking the cycle of shitty programming passed down through the generations. Im sad my mum one day will pass away and i will never have had the relationship the little girl in me hoped for. How strange we have never met, never will and yet you have given me sound advice that resonates so much with me it gave me goose bumps and made me so emotional.
I am going to focus on being the best mother i can be validating my son and enjoying every minute of the present. A big shift is happenening for me and you have been helping me along the way. But this video in particular has reinforced the things i am now awakened to and what i must do no matter how scarey.
Namaste xx
hugs Lisa for all you do and sharing it with us...and yes it still hurts when you can save some one you love who does not want help...so so sad people live this way..but you can not save who do not reach out their hand...blessings for strength for the coming days.
I started watching your channel after my mom passed. Sometimes we lose our loved ones more than once. Grief is rough.
Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear the news of your mom's passing. Sending you lots of love and light ❤
Dear Lisa,You have shown me in your vulnerability and in your strength who and what I want to be. Having grown up in a vacuum I didn't have good role models for what was healthy. I thank the Universe every day for leading me to you. Even in your grief you are showing us how to deal, how to cope, how to choose love. Bless you, Dear One!
Love to you from Claire in New Zealand. You have saved me in so many ways. I will never forget how much you have influenced me. I keep being blown away by how amazing you are every video. Thank you. 🌼🌼🌼♥️
I get it now. I get it now. I get it now. Thank you.
Listening to your experience was utterly painful and strangely encouraging at the same time. May you find the space, peace, and strength you need for your journey forward.
Thank you for being vulnerable. I heard "letting go" in your message, something I've been struggling with. "Change the person you can change...and know that it's you, not your parents."
"If you are the child of a narcissist, you may also be the child of a codependent. You may have been exposed to dysfunctional and toxic dynamics throughout your childhood. You may fear the narcissistic parent and feel compassion for your codependent parent and although this is normal, I would like to suggest you take a giant step back and see the big picture."
Yep. My situation. Narcissistic dad and codependent mom. I watched my dad, who was struggling with a weigh problem, rip my mom to shreds over gaining weight. Now, I hear my dad berating my mom over the phone in a similar tone. As a minister, he wouldn't have DARED addressed one his parishioners like he addressed her, and he wouldn't dare speak to "outcasts" he ministered to the way he has addressed me. I'd like to call BS on that to him to his face, but he would deny it.
Many blessings sent your way. Your videos are helping me so much!!
Lisa,
I can feel your pain. Both my parents are gone.
Prayers and love for you and your family.
Lisa, I want to bless you at this time, because I hear the empathy you have toward people and the love that flows from your being. I came across your meditations in December and have been so encouraged and helped. While listening to your meditations, your gentle speaking, with the clarity of subjective experience speaks to the very core of my soul. For the first time in my life I feel like someone in this world understands the depth of my pain that I have felt due to not only the lack of care but also the cold rejecting cruelty acted out toward me from my family of origin. The abandonment from the womb by my adult child depressive mother and the cold cruel shame from my narcissitic father child who was himself rejected by his father, are not my issues, although for many years believed that their lack toward me was because I was not good enough. To be able to objectify the behaviour of those ones, and to begin to clarify my own beliefs from those scripts which were put into me, gives me hope for my future as I start to let go of old soul injuries, at last. I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you. Your work, your person, your love and empathy touches me, and I want to encourage you to know that your work touches the deepest parts of my soul, and speaks love into me. Jesus knew pain of rejection and could respond by asking his Heavenly Father to forgive them. In some way I hear your words as Jesus incarnation, speaking the same things into my heart. Please receive this as a blessing, and thank you again. Garth.
I hope that the time your Father has left is time he chooses to use in healing. I hope you and your family find comfort in knowing she is able to Rest In Peace now. And I hope you know that you have saved many more than one family from the generational trauma of codependency. My family is one of them. Sending love and all good wishes to you, especially these next few days. 🦋
I was in tears watching this video this morning Lisa. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. Thank you so much for being so open and sharing your life experiences with us. I know that is the hardest thing to accept when family hurts us. You are so strong Lisa and my role model. I started on my road of healing from codependency about 5 months ago. Thanks to my therapist and you, I finally know why I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin for so long. Sending you love and light and all the best!
I hear you Lisa and I am so very sorry for your pain and loss. Prayers for peace and harmony.
Sending my love and praying you are comforted at this time. You are doing an amazing work and I respect you even more now.
I appreciate your honest thoughts and heart. . I’ve only been listening a few weeks to your you tube channel. I cry a lot. I’m not sure why. Im just gonna feel whatever comes up. I have recently lost my husband to suicide who I was married to for 35 years! It was devastating! I had no idea I was codependent and never heard of narcissist. Ever! 60 years old and very codependent. I’m healing. It’s true thus lifestyle almost killed me! I’m sending you hugs and love. You have a lot of gifts and I enjoy your work. I can’t wait to read your books. Love and light to you dear one. Namaste