"Ok, so, that forest is forbidden? Is there anything you do to enforce that...? You actively send kids in there for detention. With a trained professor, right? With your caretaker and groundskeeper..."
Hagrid took them in there to investigate unicorns being killed and having their blood drained. Unicorns are quick, magical, and purely good, so anything that had killed them would be fast, powerful, and pure evil. And since they'd drunk unicorn blood, they're cursed and cannot be killed. So the oaf with 3 years of schooling, who was one of the only 2 adults on campus not allowed a wand, takes several children and a perpetually terrified dog to investigate. It's no wonder that man became a Hogwarts professor. That insane level of child endangerment is what Dumbledore aspires towards.
It’s almost like human society, regardless of its power, will have the same problems. I wonder if *checks notes* every single author ever has ever written about that
@@Qwerty0791 I mean, to be fair Hogwarts is just terribly planned school that is a death trap for students. Honestly it is a miracle that only few students die there yearly on average.
McGonagall, Definitely... Hagrid... the man who got a dragon egg... and when said dragon,who was venomous, bit a student told the student off... Fuck, he's still more trustworthy than the other teachers...
Other safety violations: -the moving staircases -the three-headed dog that protects a trapdoor which contains an evil plant -EVERYTHING about Quidditch -the nearby forests full of murderous and worse creatures -that one time actual incarnations of despair and death were stationed all over the place The list goes on...
@@TheJacksonField you could make a full-length, 20-episode series about this safety violation of a school and have enough material left over for a few bonus episodes about the class-action lawsuit against them.
The staircases are a big deal, definitely not OSHA compliant and they don't have barriers or railings on their entrances/exits while in motion, huge opportunity for someone to fall. Dog is a major issue in terms of risk, but they were forewarned about it - signage would have been prudent in reiterating that message for those who missed or forgot it. Quidditch is voluntary, though they do seem to lack appropriate liability paperwork. The forest is traditionally off limits and mentioned to be such - same situation as the dog. The dementors strike me as moreso the government hoisting additionally security onto the school, rather than the school inviting them onto the grounds. Overall, definitely would say Hogwarts needs to use the summer season wisely and reevaluate its safety practices and look into better signage and contracts/waivers.
IIRC it is mentioned somewhere that the moving staircases are actually safe because you magically can't fall off unless you try. But the illusion steps are either the magic of the castle intentionally trying to harm people or an old prank that the faculty can't figure out how to remove, or don't bother to try because anyone who breaks a leg can be healed with a simple spell or potion. A number of Hogswarts students might hex each other or have accidents, but wizards are stupidly hard to harm unless you use a dark curse, which are considered attempted murder or similar. Students aren't dying because any competent professor and many upper years can fix whatever happened easily. Outside some fanfics there had not been a death since Myrtle until the Triwizard tournament, and that would actually have been safe enough if not for the undead dark wizard deliberately murdering one of the students.
@@AnalystPrime That makes sense. Harry was essentially a muggle until he got the letter, but he seemed pretty chill with how much danger was going on around him that wasn’t Voldemort-related.
@@twoczents Umm, no? The Tri-Wizard Tournament hadn't been held in centuries, since long before Dumbledore was even born, so there's no possible way he "allowed it for years." Bringing the Tournament back was specifically a Ministry initiative done for PR reasons, and Dumbledore did not control the ministry, nor did he have the authority to cancel the tournament. But while Dumbledore had no direct authority over the Ministry, the Ministry DID have direct authority over Dumbledore. Remember when the Ministry got pissy and removed Dumbledore from Hogwarts entirely? Yeah, that happened TWICE in the series (once in Chamber of Secrets and again in Order of the Phoenix). Blaming Dumbledore for the Tri-Wizard Tournament is quite literally like blaming a High School Principal for bad education policy decisions made by the State Governor. In other words, it's a little nonsensical. EDIT: Also, it's worth noting that the terms "bystander" and "accessory" mean entirely different things in a legal context. A "bystander" is someone who had nothing to do with what happened. One who literally just happened to be standing nearby when a crime was committed by someone else. An "accessory", on the other hand, is a knowing and willing participant in the crime. You literally CAN'T be both.
@@rmartinson19 Dude, I really don't have the patience to explain what being a bystander is. It's OK if you don't want to see anything wrong with him. That's your opinion.
@@twoczents Lol, you don't have to explain it, because I just did. I also noticed a glaring lack of a response to any of the other points I raised. Also its not a matter of not seeing anything wrong with the character. Dumbledore has plenty of flaws. It's about not pretending characters are worse than they actually are. Fanon has been particularly unkind to Dumbledore over the years. Some of that is justified, but much of it - including your accusations toward him - are not.
@@twoczents Also, now that I think of it, what part of the Tournament was a crime? As far as I know, every part of the Tournament itself was perfectly legal. The thing was cancelled in the past for safety concerns, but obviously never outlawed. The tournament was certainly stupid, but "stupid" and "illegal" are not synonyms. The only part of any of it (besides what Voldemort and Crouch did) that was possibly criminal was Fudge's extra-judicial killing of Crouch after the fact. But even that might have been above board. The Ministry was apparently able to put a kiss-on-sight order for Sirius after he escaped Azkaban. So in all likelihood, that part might be entirely legal too, since Crouch was also a high-security escapee from the same prison.
I reckon wizards were just like, “oh, we can heal pretty much any wound instantaneously? Ok, safety can go out the window we don’t give a shit if kids get every bone broken.”
No wonder PTA dad Lucius Malfoy kept trying to get Dumbledore replaced as Headmaster--he was tired of hearing about all the negligent stuff his son was telling him about.
I like to imagine, Lucius malfoy turned a leaf in his life after 1981 and was now a proper family man that bribes people for the sake of his family. Then here comes draco with his stories about a dragon in first year, a case of continuous petrification of students, dementors, another dragon(this time there are four and fully grown), a toad as a teacher. And lucius is slowly losing it because he doesn’t know wtf is going on. There was nothing like this when he was in hogwarts, and there was a war going on during that. Then he goes on a contemplative mood, Which is the one on something, his son and his hallucinations or the headmaster actually allowing all these to happen?
I love how he's in the chamber of secrets in the first image where there's a 30-50 meter snake that can kill you by looking at you and then he just talks about Hagrid😂😂😂
I wouldn't describe Lockheart as evil, either. Just an incompetent buffoon. Although I guess he did try to erase Harry and Ron's memories. Also, Slughorn was fine. And Unmbridge didn't really "turn out" to be evil, she was always open about being a spiteful old toad.
@@stevenhetzel6483 welcome to the internet where people often express appreciation for dialogue they like by quoting it. You’re not going to like it here, so… go away.
"I'm sure the kids wear appropriate protective gear and the teachers are always there to catch them in case the net doesn't work?.... No net, you say? ... Whole arm had to be grown back over night in horrendous pain...I see... "
- "So, The Whomping Willow.." - "Yeah, about that. We needed to plant it to hide one of our students every month when he turned into a werewolf.." - "YOU ALLOWED A WEREWOLF TO ATTEND CLASSES HERE?!" - "Yeah. In fact, he will be teaching classes this year" - "O.O"
Students were being turned into stone in year two, and they didn't immediately suspend classes and send the students home until they figured out what's going on.
this might be my dnd side but we got kids whose can blow shit up with their minds if the get to emotional or say the wrong word. it a mircale the the death cant is so low.
@@adamorick2872 said Dumbledore, when brought to the stand during the class action lawsuit “The People versus Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry”
@@Aredel Fun factsies: Hogwarts is in the UK; Their Crown Courts (the equivalent of Supreme/Federal Courts, that try criminals), don’t list prosecutors as “the people”, it is only the crime. “Murder of XYZ”. The docket only lists the defendants and crimes, prosecutors are called Queen’s Counsel (QC) or now, KC, King’s Counsel for short.
It was guarding something. A warning sign would be ignored. A grumpy tree is much harder to work around. Also, they do seem to have good medical treatment.
The fact that the womping willow was put so Remus doesn't attack students as a werewolf. So essentially, to save kids from danger, Dumbledore decided to put a dangerous tree on Hogwarts
He would also be on the list, even if disregarding the books wich is worse, since he was the worst fear of a student and also insult or treat bad any student that don't belong in Slytherin and was a murderer and used dark arts in a evil group
@@aliceandrade7164 Neville was also heavily abused by his grandma to the point all his fears tie immensely if not more so to her. But that’s off the table longterm I guess 😘 “The turncoat spy during wwii was mean and did bad things” we know jkr doesn’t know how trauma or war works but like. A good soldier is not a kind man. Also magical Britain has less understanding of mental health and personality disorders than the American education system, no living person constantly having their cptsd fried under a live wire to keep them a sharp weapon is going to be like. Okay. Snape had some of the most normal trauma responses in the books, weirdly that makes them stand out as unusual in joanneville. Also, the people who think he’s an incel, and joling kowling rowling thinking her self insert is the only human part of a broken person are both ignorant and whiny. The fascinating relationships between class and race in Harry Potter are incredibly rich story soil. So it’s a shame a transphobic antisemitic billionaire with a hard on for police brutality a mile long has total narrative control. I think about neoliberal authors making dystopian YA with cardboard morals that are broken by their stories containing human beings despite their best efforts all day every day. This is where I lay my head and rot. Joanne has no concept of why fascism is bad. Do you?
@@Norinia I think they just magically happen to avoid the grounds and stuff. I'm more curious how come nobody's even noticed the Hogwarts Express. Also how something being "unplottable" (can't be plotted on a map) actually works.
@@NoriniaI remember reading something in the books about how it makes muggles think there’s a very important appointment they need to attend, though I don’t think it was specifically for Hogwarts.
@@kingol4801 So your defense is that a handful of 2nd-year students were able to figure out something that none of the professors could? That's just gross incompetence.
@@lozzipop4025 "Well, we DID send Lockhart in with them." "Uh huh. Right. And where is he now?" "...The Spell Damage ward of St. Mungo's...?" "That's a nice way of saying 'The Madhouse', now innit? You sent a quack down with two _WEE_ little lads to solve a problem that you should've called in an ARMY for."
@@duelgundam Teacher: "oh, he was of a better sound mind before going down there. He only became.... Unsound after trying to erase the children's minds." Safety Inspector: "He tried to erase the children's minds?!?" Teacher: "oh, yeah. But fortunately Mr. Weasley's wand has been broken since the start of the year, so the spell backfired naturally" 😊 SI: "... You allowed a student to attempt spells with a broken wand? One that's prone to backfire! That is incredibly dangerous!" Teacher: "oh. Mr. Weasley's fine. The worst he's gotten this year, is a spell that caused him to retch up slugs for an entire afternoon" 😊😊 SI: 👀 *writes down reminder to contact CPS*
A random addictive mirror, lax potions safety procedures, staircases that move randomly, no harnesses on quidditch brooms, a snake that kills you if you look directly into its eyes...
The snake wasn’t illegal when it was introduced, and then nobody knew about for a thousand years afterwards. And you can’t exactly address issues nobody knows about.
@@ragnkja not to mention that a second year had to figure it out whereas all the fine educators in the school (and the headmaster/s) were clueless…and they didn’t bring in the Ministry’s creature department or the department of mysteries…OR reach out to someone like Newt Scamander…
Oh Mason, you in danger boo. Mason about to receive that "Obliviate" spell. He's going to wake up at The Three Broomsticks with a Butterbeer in his hand and be so confused where the time went.
"They claim to love being uncompensated....right. I'll need to be seeing them..." Mumbles to self, "Hopefully their condition is at least adequate and you've been providing necessities like food and clean clothing. Good Gods! Is that a tea towel or a rag that poor thing is wearing!? And it's sobbing in absolute misery!"
Funnily enough, the floating candles are probably the SAFEST thing in Hogwarts. The dripping wax, however, would probably fall under the Food Standards Agency(although, iirc, there's a spell that prevents that, so.....)
“So you have soul sucking demons be your bodyguard?…one down on the list… and so you sometimes can’t control them or they just don’t listen to you?…. Yeah that’s another fine..” -Carl the other inspector
The charmed staircases for the girls dorms are a safety hazard too tbh. Between tripping hazards and half the dorm not being able to help in an emergency like ...not very well thought out i think
The girls can still leave their rooms they just can't go back up, it's more of a safety measure to make sure boys can't go up there. If anything it's sexist that the boys staircase isn't also charmed to prevent girls going into the boys rooms, the school was basically saying that boys can't be trusted but girls have free reign.
@@chrometheraptor the enchantment was probably made really difficult to tamper with out of caution. Or no one remembers how to remove it. Or no-one wants to bother. Or all 3.
Yet nothing to stop a gang of boys from hitting a lone girl in the Common Room with Petrificus Totalis and dragging her up to their dorms... Then the love potions so recklessly sold in Hogsmeade, or even just a decent relashio spell and she's a little plaything for all of them. Then the spells scourgify, episkey, and obliviate, and she doesn't even know any of it happened.
I mean, this is what happens to workers on factories as well when new directors roll in and start enforcing safety rules they did not have for the last 200+ years. People often choose convenient and familiar over safe.
Dumbledore’s side of this conversation would probably be 100x more fun. “No one has died on the grounds of the school for decades!” “Well, the forest isn’t technically on _school grounds_ and most of the students who went there are only missing, we never found any bodies” “No, of course the forest is off limits, why do you think we named it the FORBIDDEN forest? No students are allowed to go there. You know, unless they were found wandering around the castle at night because then they might receive detention to go wandering around the deadly forest on a different night.” “Of course they wouldn’t be _alone_ in the forest, they would have an extremely tame and easily frightened dog to protect them, nobody would get hurt!” “The whomping willow? Oh, please! The attacking tree is only there to conceal the entrance to the house where we keep the werewolf during full moons.” “The tree can’t exactly go anywhere, and what student would walk up to the punching tree?” “The tournament is perfectly safe we will keep chains on the dragons at all times and there will be an age limit to enter. But of course, if someone does manage to enter despite being underage then we’ll force them to compete even if they didn’t choose to themselves. It may be slightly deadly but still better than the alternative.”
To be fair, a death eater in the school is a bit more concerning than Peeves being annoying. He was a bitch, but he never made attempts on people's lives.
Don't go to Xaviers I rather take Hogwarts, keep your head down and you'll live - Sentries attack CXSFGY every day One mutant could look at you funny and poof You are definitely going to be killed for someone else's character development
Nah, heard way too many bad things about them. Think I'll become one of those fancy students at this Jedi temple place they keep talking about. With all these master Jedi around, I've got no worries.
Yeah we have much more advanced Medical techs and we did even a hundred years ago and no we keep adding more OSHA rules because like even if you can mend a woman that doesn't mean that a you would want someone to go through that drama in the first place and be the trauma alone which is open up a million lawsuit. Like for example thanks to safety belts and airbags were the safest generation of drivers that doesn't mean that it's okay to just drive around and run into every car like it's bumper cars
Exactly. All of these “dangers” are mitigated by super-medicine. I mean, you REALLY need to try to die, as only the use of dark magic can guarantee one’s most certain death (and using those is a capital crime anyway). Everything else, including broken necks and suicide, can be undone with a bunch of weird looking bottles. Hence why Harry Potter did not care too much about non-Voldemort dangers - they would surely hurt terribly, but would NOT be lethal nor their effects would be long-lasting.
Basilisk living in a toilet was a mystery. That is akin to saying that the school is responsible since some ancient cruptid or ghost (think the one from the “Ring”) woke up and decided to pop up in a bathroom. Or, similarly, that miners are responsible for the Godzilla deciding to erupt from the mountain they were digging in.
As per the forest thing, it is intentional cruelty. They have mega-magic that can treat pretty much any non-dark-magic wound. So, sending kids to the forest is akin to a form of torture, since their body can be easily pieced together afterwards, with no residual or long-lasting physical damage. And, likewise, this brutal method was detailed INTENTIONALLY by the author, as a criticism. Since Hogwards follows recently abolished medieval methods, it is a place of systematic discrimination (gender/magic genetic predisposition) and war crime-equivalent punishments. That anachronism was done intentionally to criticize it. It is a big deal in the book/movie that torture is not a good thing (repeated notions of rules being modernized and the whole “torture curse” moment) and that discriminating people based on their sex/genetic makeup is not alright either.
There’s even more if you do a part 3 -the giant snake -the giant spiders -when the room of requirement is the hiding place, just stacks and stacks of possible crushing -buckbeak did attack Draco (he did insult it, but that still is something that may not be safe) -everything Umbridge did -Norbert -the chess game -the Cornish pixies -dumbledore takes Harry with him to search for horcruxes -there was a literal battle fought -the dueling club -mandrakes -candles floating above them that can drip wax -a teacher uses forbidden curses on them -warewolf teacher -potions and spells that could kill if done wrong -mermaids -death eaters working there -centaurs And probably more that I can’t remember at the moment.
The “it’s always the ones you trust” gets me ever time
I’m dying😂
Right after he died, too.....
@@ezachleewright2309 wait no now I’m sobbing 😭 i didn’t need that reminder
He didnt need to do Hagrid like that, damn! 🤣
@@Dabawz_Lafrance eh the actor was a TERF just like JKR so whatevs
It's always the ones you miss
"Ok, so, that forest is forbidden? Is there anything you do to enforce that...? You actively send kids in there for detention. With a trained professor, right? With your caretaker and groundskeeper..."
The same person who didn't complete his schooling past third year (?) and isn't allowed a wand due a criminal record...
Plus his old dog 😌
To be fair he's a half giant but he's also armed with a crossbow.....and I should probably stop talking now
@@raerohan4241
Dumbledore: "He was cleared of those charges he could get a new wand if he wanted"
Hagrid took them in there to investigate unicorns being killed and having their blood drained.
Unicorns are quick, magical, and purely good, so anything that had killed them would be fast, powerful, and pure evil.
And since they'd drunk unicorn blood, they're cursed and cannot be killed.
So the oaf with 3 years of schooling, who was one of the only 2 adults on campus not allowed a wand, takes several children and a perpetually terrified dog to investigate.
It's no wonder that man became a Hogwarts professor. That insane level of child endangerment is what Dumbledore aspires towards.
Funnily enough, Hagrid’s hut is arguably a lot safer than the castle itself.
It’s always the ones you trust got me
how dare they disrespect Hagrid like that
Someone has not watched PS1 hagrid shorts
Yes the huge beast tamer alcoholic guy armed with a crossbow that's basically a ballista is the safest guy to be around.
@@beastwarsFTW not to mention that he has a half-brother who is a giant that he is storing in the nearby mysterious murderous forest.
Obviously Hogwarts cares about its students safety. That’s why they need their parent’s permission to go visit their local sweet shop.
Considering they sell sweets that can burn a hole into your tongue.. ;)
lol
Yet playing quidditch is completely fine
It’s literally the only thing they do need permission for.
The sweet shop is the most dangerous place of all.
"So what's this about keeping a three-headed dog that kills anyone who walks into the wrong room?"
"And making kids hunt a unicorn-blood-drinking creature as detention?"
It is a Locked room
@Giltspark especially not first-years
@Giltspark they were warned
@@adamatch9624 "Don't go in there" is the best way to make people go in somewhere, that's common knowledge by now
For real, there is so much shady shit that goes on that, without context, is strange at best, and criminal at worst lol
Even WITH context tho
Yeah, context only makes it worse, they have literal magic and still fuck things up.
And also _with_ context. To be clear.
It’s almost like human society, regardless of its power, will have the same problems. I wonder if *checks notes* every single author ever has ever written about that
@@Qwerty0791 I mean, to be fair Hogwarts is just terribly planned school that is a death trap for students.
Honestly it is a miracle that only few students die there yearly on average.
“So who is the Moaning Mertle?”
“She’s a girl that haunts a bathroom, got it.”
“Wait, haunts, as in she died and is a ghost?”
They cant tell him about the giant serpant in the sewers!
@@informationyesto be fair that one nobody knew about until harrys 2nd year and it was killed
To be fair, hagrid and McGonagall are like the only trustworthy adults in the wuole damn school
Still highly questionable with regards to who or what they think is reliable, tho.
McGonagall, Definitely...
Hagrid... the man who got a dragon egg... and when said dragon,who was venomous, bit a student told the student off... Fuck, he's still more trustworthy than the other teachers...
What did Flitwick, sprout and dumbledore ever do to you
@@donkekung4150 Well Dumbledore literally raised a kid to die...
@@robogamin9613 Did dumbledore make voldemort tether harry to his life?
'The only thing that should not be named here is the fine I'm about to give you guys'
Lmaooo
good one lol he should have put that in the video
50,000 dobbies?
@@mechtist So is someone quoting a line they appreciated just a foreign concept to you?
@@mechtist shh... let people enjoy things!
fine? that place is going to be shut down like yesterday...
I love imagining him being a muggle too and not knowing what the f is going on with half of these things
Nerd alert
@@navdeeprathore8932 k boohoo
He doesn't know a ton about magic but he knows a safety hazard when he sees one
@@navdeeprathore8932Bro is stuck in a 2000s Disney sitcom
@@navdeeprathore8932 are you aware that the current year is 2022 AD? Or do you think is 2022 BC
might be worth mentioning that 2nd graders made the identity theft potion in the bathroom, that’s be like a 13 yo making crystal meth in the backyard
Wait is that not normal......?
"The grounds keeper would not be allowed here if he wasn't trustworthy."
"Explain Flitch."
"....he has tenure."
and he actually misses the screaming..
Other safety violations:
-the moving staircases
-the three-headed dog that protects a trapdoor which contains an evil plant
-EVERYTHING about Quidditch
-the nearby forests full of murderous and worse creatures
-that one time actual incarnations of despair and death were stationed all over the place
The list goes on...
Part 2?
@@TheJacksonFieldYES
@@TheJacksonField PLEASEEEEE
@@TheJacksonField you could make a full-length, 20-episode series about this safety violation of a school and have enough material left over for a few bonus episodes about the class-action lawsuit against them.
The staircases are a big deal, definitely not OSHA compliant and they don't have barriers or railings on their entrances/exits while in motion, huge opportunity for someone to fall.
Dog is a major issue in terms of risk, but they were forewarned about it - signage would have been prudent in reiterating that message for those who missed or forgot it.
Quidditch is voluntary, though they do seem to lack appropriate liability paperwork.
The forest is traditionally off limits and mentioned to be such - same situation as the dog.
The dementors strike me as moreso the government hoisting additionally security onto the school, rather than the school inviting them onto the grounds.
Overall, definitely would say Hogwarts needs to use the summer season wisely and reevaluate its safety practices and look into better signage and contracts/waivers.
Just wait until he gets to the moving staircase. That thing is a lawsuit waiting to happen
And that's not even mentioning the illusionary steps on said staircase
@@nickfulton8173 There are illusionary steps on a real moving staircase?!? Is that like their equivalent of broken steps that need to be repaired??
@@Qwerty0791 No it's intentional which I believe makes it worse
IIRC it is mentioned somewhere that the moving staircases are actually safe because you magically can't fall off unless you try. But the illusion steps are either the magic of the castle intentionally trying to harm people or an old prank that the faculty can't figure out how to remove, or don't bother to try because anyone who breaks a leg can be healed with a simple spell or potion.
A number of Hogswarts students might hex each other or have accidents, but wizards are stupidly hard to harm unless you use a dark curse, which are considered attempted murder or similar. Students aren't dying because any competent professor and many upper years can fix whatever happened easily. Outside some fanfics there had not been a death since Myrtle until the Triwizard tournament, and that would actually have been safe enough if not for the undead dark wizard deliberately murdering one of the students.
@@AnalystPrime That makes sense. Harry was essentially a muggle until he got the letter, but he seemed pretty chill with how much danger was going on around him that wasn’t Voldemort-related.
In all fairness, the Tri-Wizard Tournament was actually Governmental negligence. The Ministry was in charge of that whole fiasco, not Dumbledore.
He allowed it and has allowed it for years. He's a bystander and accessory to their crime.
@@twoczents Umm, no? The Tri-Wizard Tournament hadn't been held in centuries, since long before Dumbledore was even born, so there's no possible way he "allowed it for years." Bringing the Tournament back was specifically a Ministry initiative done for PR reasons, and Dumbledore did not control the ministry, nor did he have the authority to cancel the tournament.
But while Dumbledore had no direct authority over the Ministry, the Ministry DID have direct authority over Dumbledore. Remember when the Ministry got pissy and removed Dumbledore from Hogwarts entirely? Yeah, that happened TWICE in the series (once in Chamber of Secrets and again in Order of the Phoenix). Blaming Dumbledore for the Tri-Wizard Tournament is quite literally like blaming a High School Principal for bad education policy decisions made by the State Governor. In other words, it's a little nonsensical.
EDIT: Also, it's worth noting that the terms "bystander" and "accessory" mean entirely different things in a legal context. A "bystander" is someone who had nothing to do with what happened. One who literally just happened to be standing nearby when a crime was committed by someone else. An "accessory", on the other hand, is a knowing and willing participant in the crime. You literally CAN'T be both.
@@rmartinson19 Dude, I really don't have the patience to explain what being a bystander is. It's OK if you don't want to see anything wrong with him. That's your opinion.
@@twoczents Lol, you don't have to explain it, because I just did. I also noticed a glaring lack of a response to any of the other points I raised.
Also its not a matter of not seeing anything wrong with the character. Dumbledore has plenty of flaws. It's about not pretending characters are worse than they actually are. Fanon has been particularly unkind to Dumbledore over the years. Some of that is justified, but much of it - including your accusations toward him - are not.
@@twoczents Also, now that I think of it, what part of the Tournament was a crime? As far as I know, every part of the Tournament itself was perfectly legal. The thing was cancelled in the past for safety concerns, but obviously never outlawed. The tournament was certainly stupid, but "stupid" and "illegal" are not synonyms.
The only part of any of it (besides what Voldemort and Crouch did) that was possibly criminal was Fudge's extra-judicial killing of Crouch after the fact. But even that might have been above board. The Ministry was apparently able to put a kiss-on-sight order for Sirius after he escaped Azkaban. So in all likelihood, that part might be entirely legal too, since Crouch was also a high-security escapee from the same prison.
I reckon wizards were just like, “oh, we can heal pretty much any wound instantaneously? Ok, safety can go out the window we don’t give a shit if kids get every bone broken.”
No wonder PTA dad Lucius Malfoy kept trying to get Dumbledore replaced as Headmaster--he was tired of hearing about all the negligent stuff his son was telling him about.
Honestly, I absolutely need a fanfic with that premises. 🤣
@@likemossIgrowonyou ooo now that I’d like to read!
I agree one hundred percent.
I like to imagine, Lucius malfoy turned a leaf in his life after 1981 and was now a proper family man that bribes people for the sake of his family. Then here comes draco with his stories about a dragon in first year, a case of continuous petrification of students, dementors, another dragon(this time there are four and fully grown), a toad as a teacher.
And lucius is slowly losing it because he doesn’t know wtf is going on. There was nothing like this when he was in hogwarts, and there was a war going on during that. Then he goes on a contemplative mood, Which is the one on something, his son and his hallucinations or the headmaster actually allowing all these to happen?
@@MaDmOnStErQr that's beautiful. 😂
Bruh the drawing on his clipboard 💀
What was it? I cant make it out
@@JordenJords A nice lady with big booba
@@JordenJords me neither :(
Yeah I noticed that lol
@@JordenJords the dark mark
honestly would love to read a series about a Magical Occupational Health and Safety Inspector just doing his job
Petrification Proliferation by White Squirrel has a comprehensive search by the DMLE after the basilisk that's similar in concept
The dead, hopeless eyes right at the beginning when you say “should be fun” is VERY on brand for health inspectors.
"Oh, so you did have safety measures when there was a killer on the loose?
... the safety measure was what now?"
"It's not a normal painting, she talks and doesn't open without the password!"
The dementors only try to suck the souls of people anywhere near them
“Oh,we just gathered everyone in the Great Hall for a slumber party 🎉 “
The safety measure was a lot of other killers on the loose
I love how he's in the chamber of secrets in the first image where there's a 30-50 meter snake that can kill you by looking at you and then he just talks about Hagrid😂😂😂
tbf its dead
@@mgbell4917 Still 10+ teeth full of lethal poison laying around in a school.
plus they had no idea it was there for centuries (I think centuries anyway)
@@TheSnailKing. nearly a millennium yeah
And it just has free access to the plumbing where it can kill people.
Safety audit guy: "Died", subtitles: "Been put into a permanent sleep".
Lupin wasn’t evil
He did everything in his power to make sure his wolf form didn’t hurt anyone
Cursed to be a werewolf that is a ticking time bomb in of itself.
I wouldn't describe Lockheart as evil, either. Just an incompetent buffoon. Although I guess he did try to erase Harry and Ron's memories.
Also, Slughorn was fine. And Unmbridge didn't really "turn out" to be evil, she was always open about being a spiteful old toad.
Yep, just go get a job at a school. Makes sense 😅
Yeah... we all saw how that went down in the end, didn't we?
@@JaslynFellows Let's hire a werewolf to teach a bunch of defenseless children! What could possibly go wrong!?
Is it normal for the defensive against dark arts teacher to be evil at the end of every year? Oh it is 😂😂😂
Don’t disrespect my boy Lupin
YUP. THAAAATS WHAT HE SAID. ITS IN THE VIDEO. THE SHOOORT SHORT VIDEO. I HADNT FORGOTTEN IT, CAUSE HE JUST SAID IT. THANKS FOR THE QUOTE THO
@@stevenhetzel6483 no one will like your reply. It’s desperately needy
@@stevenhetzel6483 welcome to the internet where people often express appreciation for dialogue they like by quoting it.
You’re not going to like it here, so… go away.
@@stevenhetzel6483 Bro you sound unhinged
"What's your school's sport again? And it revolves around flying and... bludgeoning? Riiiiiiiight..."
"I'm sure the kids wear appropriate protective gear and the teachers are always there to catch them in case the net doesn't work?.... No net, you say? ... Whole arm had to be grown back over night in horrendous pain...I see... "
Would like but, I don't want to ruin your perfect 444
- "So, The Whomping Willow.."
- "Yeah, about that. We needed to plant it to hide one of our students every month when he turned into a werewolf.."
- "YOU ALLOWED A WEREWOLF TO ATTEND CLASSES HERE?!"
- "Yeah. In fact, he will be teaching classes this year"
- "O.O"
I like how parents were fine with all of this but demanded that the werewolf teacher who was the best and most helpful one get fired
Students were being turned into stone in year two, and they didn't immediately suspend classes and send the students home until they figured out what's going on.
this might be my dnd side but we got kids whose can blow shit up with their minds if the get to emotional or say the wrong word. it a mircale the the death cant is so low.
@@Orsonfoe Try almost nonexistent lol. Turns out magic is just really good at covering for incompetence.
@@rakkis1576 I mean it is MAGIC so…
On year two of what? You lack perspective mate xD.
@@neruba2173 Harry's year two. We go by book years.
Moving staircases also breaking a few too many building codes
those stair cases are up to code.
That's how sally anne perks died you know, fell off from the moving staircase.
@@adamorick2872 said Dumbledore, when brought to the stand during the class action lawsuit “The People versus Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry”
@@adamorick2872the safety procedures and signage aren’t. Did you see any signs saying “CAUTION: Stairs may move underneath you”?
@@Aredel Fun factsies: Hogwarts is in the UK; Their Crown Courts (the equivalent of Supreme/Federal Courts, that try criminals), don’t list prosecutors as “the people”, it is only the crime. “Murder of XYZ”. The docket only lists the defendants and crimes, prosecutors are called Queen’s Counsel (QC) or now, KC, King’s Counsel for short.
Yes! The most unsafe school ever! 😂🤣😂 Someone needed to say it!
You missed so much but I loved it any way. I can just imagine Mcgonagal trying to lead you around the school and make it look less dangerous.
The irony is that the kids hanging around in the groundkeepers hut are in the safest place in Hogwarts
uhm remember follow the spiders? he should have known aragog would no let fresh meat walk
@@velvety2006 it still feels safer, that other parts of Hogwarts
@@doltramir it is not, they barely scaped from death from the spider
@@brendon205 vers the many times they where threatened by death in the actual school
@@brendon205To be fair, that was the forest, not the hut
Dumbledore: well if you whanna cut down the tree be my guest
Harry and Ron actually got in trouble for damaging it, so it's supposed to be there.
They fixed it after Harry and Ron damaged it! Also, it can be "placated" or "frozen", at least temporarily.
It was guarding something. A warning sign would be ignored. A grumpy tree is much harder to work around. Also, they do seem to have good medical treatment.
You would think there’s be a spell that could easily remove it. Wonder if the killing curse works on plants.
No don't tree is friend!!
Watching this video before and after reading the books and watching the movies is so funny 😂
The fact that the womping willow was put so Remus doesn't attack students as a werewolf.
So essentially, to save kids from danger, Dumbledore decided to put a dangerous tree on Hogwarts
They had to lock Snape in his office so he couldn’t give a tour of the school atrocities
“SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN.”
He woulda been snitchin right and left
And now he's my favourite teacher
He would also be on the list, even if disregarding the books wich is worse, since he was the worst fear of a student and also insult or treat bad any student that don't belong in Slytherin and was a murderer and used dark arts in a evil group
@@aliceandrade7164 Neville was also heavily abused by his grandma to the point all his fears tie immensely if not more so to her. But that’s off the table longterm I guess 😘
“The turncoat spy during wwii was mean and did bad things” we know jkr doesn’t know how trauma or war works but like. A good soldier is not a kind man. Also magical Britain has less understanding of mental health and personality disorders than the American education system, no living person constantly having their cptsd fried under a live wire to keep them a sharp weapon is going to be like. Okay.
Snape had some of the most normal trauma responses in the books, weirdly that makes them stand out as unusual in joanneville.
Also, the people who think he’s an incel, and joling kowling rowling thinking her self insert is the only human part of a broken person are both ignorant and whiny. The fascinating relationships between class and race in Harry Potter are incredibly rich story soil. So it’s a shame a transphobic antisemitic billionaire with a hard on for police brutality a mile long has total narrative control.
I think about neoliberal authors making dystopian YA with cardboard morals that are broken by their stories containing human beings despite their best efforts all day every day. This is where I lay my head and rot.
Joanne has no concept of why fascism is bad. Do you?
That guy is the only reason Hogwarts is invisible for normal people.
I kinda wonder what happens if/when normal people stroll on through.
@@Norinia I think they just magically happen to avoid the grounds and stuff. I'm more curious how come nobody's even noticed the Hogwarts Express. Also how something being "unplottable" (can't be plotted on a map) actually works.
@@Norinia if it was in America no amount of avada kedavra or blocking spells would save them from the bullets
@@NoriniaI remember reading something in the books about how it makes muggles think there’s a very important appointment they need to attend, though I don’t think it was specifically for Hogwarts.
Mason:are all the DADA teachers end up being evil at the end of the year
Lupin:😢😢
Mason's a dimension traveler. Everywhere all around. 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
"So tell me about this basilisk in the basement? Like, why hasn't anyone dealt with that in... how many years has it been down there?"
Because they did not know?
That is like government suing miners because Godzilla woke up in the mountain…..
@@kingol4801 So your defense is that a handful of 2nd-year students were able to figure out something that none of the professors could? That's just gross incompetence.
"oh it was dealt with.... By a twelve year old boy... Hmm okay... Where were the adults?" 💀😂
@@lozzipop4025 "Well, we DID send Lockhart in with them."
"Uh huh. Right. And where is he now?"
"...The Spell Damage ward of St. Mungo's...?"
"That's a nice way of saying 'The Madhouse', now innit? You sent a quack down with two _WEE_ little lads to solve a problem that you should've called in an ARMY for."
@@duelgundam
Teacher: "oh, he was of a better sound mind before going down there. He only became.... Unsound after trying to erase the children's minds."
Safety Inspector: "He tried to erase the children's minds?!?"
Teacher: "oh, yeah. But fortunately Mr. Weasley's wand has been broken since the start of the year, so the spell backfired naturally" 😊
SI: "... You allowed a student to attempt spells with a broken wand? One that's prone to backfire! That is incredibly dangerous!"
Teacher: "oh. Mr. Weasley's fine. The worst he's gotten this year, is a spell that caused him to retch up slugs for an entire afternoon" 😊😊
SI: 👀 *writes down reminder to contact CPS*
A random addictive mirror, lax potions safety procedures, staircases that move randomly, no harnesses on quidditch brooms, a snake that kills you if you look directly into its eyes...
The snake wasn’t illegal when it was introduced, and then nobody knew about for a thousand years afterwards. And you can’t exactly address issues nobody knows about.
@@ragnkja True, but they should evacuate the area if people and ghosts start getting petrified for unknown reasons.
@@stevenreckling203
Yes, that conclusion took rather longer to reach than it should, didn’t it?
@@ragnkja Moaning Myrtle is....very, very known.......
@@ragnkja not to mention that a second year had to figure it out whereas all the fine educators in the school (and the headmaster/s) were clueless…and they didn’t bring in the Ministry’s creature department or the department of mysteries…OR reach out to someone like Newt Scamander…
Oh Mason, you in danger boo. Mason about to receive that "Obliviate" spell. He's going to wake up at The Three Broomsticks with a Butterbeer in his hand and be so confused where the time went.
Either that or he gonna turn around and the basilisk is gonna cock his head an go "boo, I see you.." 👀
Him:“And how many kids would you say have died under your care?”
Subtitles: “how many kids have been *put into a permanent sleep* under your care”
gotta keep it pg?
@@velvety2006 most kids can hear though different subtitles is a bit strange
“I’d also like to ask about the unpaid workers in your basement”
"They claim to love being uncompensated....right. I'll need to be seeing them..." Mumbles to self, "Hopefully their condition is at least adequate and you've been providing necessities like food and clean clothing. Good Gods! Is that a tea towel or a rag that poor thing is wearing!? And it's sobbing in absolute misery!"
"You mean, volunteers?"
It’s actually volunteering
They're not humans,therefore human rights need not apply.
That's a joke but is legit how the ministry of magic treats fully sentient creatures
“no they like it!” *side eye*
Thought he would mention the floating candles aswell lol
Funnily enough, the floating candles are probably the SAFEST thing in Hogwarts.
The dripping wax, however, would probably fall under the Food Standards Agency(although, iirc, there's a spell that prevents that, so.....)
@@duelgundam I guess floating fire is safer than fire on wooden tables
Or the ghosts.
Lets see if he can try to do this in the backrooms.
“So you have soul sucking demons be your bodyguard?…one down on the list… and so you sometimes can’t control them or they just don’t listen to you?…. Yeah that’s another fine..” -Carl the other inspector
The charmed staircases for the girls dorms are a safety hazard too tbh. Between tripping hazards and half the dorm not being able to help in an emergency like ...not very well thought out i think
The girls can still leave their rooms they just can't go back up, it's more of a safety measure to make sure boys can't go up there. If anything it's sexist that the boys staircase isn't also charmed to prevent girls going into the boys rooms, the school was basically saying that boys can't be trusted but girls have free reign.
bUt tHE bOyS aRe uNTrUstwOrthy /s
If I’m remembering right, the stairs were made like that by the founders… but why hasn’t anyone changed them??
@@chrometheraptor the enchantment was probably made really difficult to tamper with out of caution. Or no one remembers how to remove it. Or no-one wants to bother. Or all 3.
@@evannewman3997 definitely all three
Yet nothing to stop a gang of boys from hitting a lone girl in the Common Room with Petrificus Totalis and dragging her up to their dorms... Then the love potions so recklessly sold in Hogsmeade, or even just a decent relashio spell and she's a little plaything for all of them.
Then the spells scourgify, episkey, and obliviate, and she doesn't even know any of it happened.
Doing hagrid dirty like that, Bruh 💀🤮🤣
Wait till the health and safety guys do Mario Kart tracks...
“It’s always the ones you trust”
So dark and so true
Professor Snape
As a kid, all I ever wanted was to go to Hogwarts, but as an adult Hogwarts is probably the singlemost terrifying location in all of fiction.
Is really not that bad, 7/10, defenetly worth it to learn magic and eat sweets
@@DM-Oz there's not even that many spell worth learning in the Harry Potter universe tbh.
@@2XocraM I disagree.
Also, is not that dangerous either, in fiction standards
It really is not as long as you don’t:
Go into restricted areas.
Don’t play stupid games to win stupid prizes (Quidditch).
@@DM-Oz bruh the sweets are just muggle sweets with some enchantments on them.
Dolores Umbridge actually brought a bunch of this up and everyone just sort of rolled their eyes
Well, sure. Because Umbridge was an absolutely horrendous person who could make anything sound like utter garbage.
I mean, this is what happens to workers on factories as well when new directors roll in and start enforcing safety rules they did not have for the last 200+ years.
People often choose convenient and familiar over safe.
Also in regards to attitude and such, after all, Umbridge's enforcement of rules wasn't exactly for the actual safety of others.
I mean, Umbridge also made students write with their own blood. So, yeah.
All of it was def better than what Umbridge did to them .
Hogwarts is so screwed, even handrails can't save it.
Dumbledore’s side of this conversation would probably be 100x more fun. “No one has died on the grounds of the school for decades!”
“Well, the forest isn’t technically on _school grounds_ and most of the students who went there are only missing, we never found any bodies”
“No, of course the forest is off limits, why do you think we named it the FORBIDDEN forest? No students are allowed to go there. You know, unless they were found wandering around the castle at night because then they might receive detention to go wandering around the deadly forest on a different night.”
“Of course they wouldn’t be _alone_ in the forest, they would have an extremely tame and easily frightened dog to protect them, nobody would get hurt!”
“The whomping willow? Oh, please! The attacking tree is only there to conceal the entrance to the house where we keep the werewolf during full moons.”
“The tree can’t exactly go anywhere, and what student would walk up to the punching tree?”
“The tournament is perfectly safe we will keep chains on the dragons at all times and there will be an age limit to enter. But of course, if someone does manage to enter despite being underage then we’ll force them to compete even if they didn’t choose to themselves. It may be slightly deadly but still better than the alternative.”
Hogwarts' safety violations could easily be 50 videos of content 😅
One channel made a song about Willy Wonka's safety violations, now they need to make a Hogwarts version ☺
"...There's a three headed WHAT now?"
Hahaha “you trust him, ok” hahaha
He has a lot of really good points lmao 🤣
The safety audit seemed to care a bit more about teacher’s intentions, and not enough about the giant snake or the poltergeist
This isn't the whole audit
Well what are they gonna do about peeves the Ghostbusters are in new York.
To be fair, a death eater in the school is a bit more concerning than Peeves being annoying. He was a bitch, but he never made attempts on people's lives.
To be fair to ghost can't seem to hurt anyone they just "hanging around"
Don't forget the stairs that move and rearrange themselves even if someone is on them.
That was only in the movies, but staircases that lead to a different place every Friday still don’t sound all that fun.
Not to mention the staircases with a phantom step.
@@Flutter_Potter
Yeah, thanks for reminding me.
Stairs but it is a functioning elevator able to have the exit go to different places.
So this Health & Safey inspector is the reason why Umbridge became the dean of Hogwarts....
"it's always the ones you trust"
You have truly audited.
That is how Voldemort should've taken down Hogwarts. Just send an OFSTED inspector.
In the first book that kept saying that Hogwarts was super safe yet they play sports that leads to kids falling 50 feet in the air on the weekly😭
That drawing on his “documents” 🤣spicy
I always wondered when children's services would show up 😬🤭😂 that school has WAAAAYYYY too many safety mishaps
Clearly this is a job for Gilderoy Lockheart.
I just wanna say that Mason is doing an amazing job on every single audit
Dumbledore: "obliviate"
"No one will know."
You could do an entire video about all the safety violations! 😂
Another channel made a song about Willy Wonka's safety violations and now they need to make a Hogwarts version ☺
I think this deserves an episode 2
Seven episodes please!
@@weareallbornmad410One for each of the films (or 8)
the safety auditor is my favorite character so far.. :D
Yes!
I'm a safety Officer at work and I feel this one to the core! I nearly fell off the couch laughing. Well done!
bro the drawing on that paper is carzy
Well this is why you go to Xavier's
Don't go to Xaviers
I rather take Hogwarts, keep your head down and you'll live
-
Sentries attack CXSFGY every day
One mutant could look at you funny and poof
You are definitely going to be killed for someone else's character development
Nah, heard way too many bad things about them. Think I'll become one of those fancy students at this Jedi temple place they keep talking about. With all these master Jedi around, I've got no worries.
With the motto of “Hope you survive the experience” who wouldn’t want to go to Xavier’s!
@@flerken4233 Atleast there true in marketing
@@blackhand441 would you prefer miss peregrine's
"hogwarts is the safest place here is"
I never really thought about it that way, the DADA teacher does always turn evil 😂
To be fair, in a world where you can fix a broken bone with the wave of a wand, any semblance of self protection gets thrown out the window.
Yeah we have much more advanced Medical techs and we did even a hundred years ago and no we keep adding more OSHA rules because like even if you can mend a woman that doesn't mean that a you would want someone to go through that drama in the first place and be the trauma alone which is open up a million lawsuit. Like for example thanks to safety belts and airbags were the safest generation of drivers that doesn't mean that it's okay to just drive around and run into every car like it's bumper cars
“Can you tell me why all the staircases rotate constantly which could cause the students to fall to their deaths. They use these stairs daily.”
In the book there are simply “stairs that lead a different place every Friday,” which is bad enough.
This has me in tears
The truly baffling thing is the lack of handrails in the Chamber of Secrets
Hogwarts selection process is natural selection
Her forgot about the stairs that just move randomly one wrong step broken neck but they also have super healthcare lol
Exactly.
All of these “dangers” are mitigated by super-medicine.
I mean, you REALLY need to try to die, as only the use of dark magic can guarantee one’s most certain death (and using those is a capital crime anyway).
Everything else, including broken necks and suicide, can be undone with a bunch of weird looking bottles.
Hence why Harry Potter did not care too much about non-Voldemort dangers - they would surely hurt terribly, but would NOT be lethal nor their effects would be long-lasting.
maybe that's why wingardum leviosa is one the first spells they learn to keep fellow students fall to their deaths from the stairs
I can't imagine what juvenile detention Schools must be like for wizards
Next you should definitely do Indiana Jones. Particularly the temple of doom
"have been put in a permanent sleep"
"Is there any form of safety in this entire school?.....Hogsmead?........That tiny little village? The kids need permission slips to go there?...ok"
Remember that one year where the embodiment of death was used to guard the kids? I bloody hate Dementors mate.
To be fair that was the government forcing the school to allow Dementors on the grounds, and the school was very much opposed to the idea.
"It's always the ones you trust"
An auditor would have a heart attack from seeing the problems with Hogwarts.
In the school's defense, the Tri-Wizard tournament was suggested and sanctioned by the government.
And it was centuries since the last tournament was held
Bro doesn’t even get to the moving staircases, detentions in the forbidden forest, or dueling club
I'd like to report the third floor. Yeah, the entire 3rd floor.
the script and voice acting is PERFECT
i love these videos. hilarious!
Didn't even mention the forbidden forest being used for detention, or the Basilisk living in a toilet
Basilisk living in a toilet was a mystery.
That is akin to saying that the school is responsible since some ancient cruptid or ghost (think the one from the “Ring”) woke up and decided to pop up in a bathroom.
Or, similarly, that miners are responsible for the Godzilla deciding to erupt from the mountain they were digging in.
As per the forest thing, it is intentional cruelty.
They have mega-magic that can treat pretty much any non-dark-magic wound. So, sending kids to the forest is akin to a form of torture, since their body can be easily pieced together afterwards, with no residual or long-lasting physical damage.
And, likewise, this brutal method was detailed INTENTIONALLY by the author, as a criticism.
Since Hogwards follows recently abolished medieval methods, it is a place of systematic discrimination (gender/magic genetic predisposition) and war crime-equivalent punishments.
That anachronism was done intentionally to criticize it.
It is a big deal in the book/movie that torture is not a good thing (repeated notions of rules being modernized and the whole “torture curse” moment) and that discriminating people based on their sex/genetic makeup is not alright either.
This vid is making me think twice about my application now
There’s even more if you do a part 3
-the giant snake
-the giant spiders
-when the room of requirement is the hiding place, just stacks and stacks of possible crushing
-buckbeak did attack Draco (he did insult it, but that still is something that may not be safe)
-everything Umbridge did
-Norbert
-the chess game
-the Cornish pixies
-dumbledore takes Harry with him to search for horcruxes
-there was a literal battle fought
-the dueling club
-mandrakes
-candles floating above them that can drip wax
-a teacher uses forbidden curses on them
-warewolf teacher
-potions and spells that could kill if done wrong
-mermaids
-death eaters working there
-centaurs
And probably more that I can’t remember at the moment.
Bro Mason is so powerful and dedicated that he travels through different universes to conduct his safety audits on everything