Getting old should not mean losing control | Nicole Ruggiano | TEDxFIU
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- Опубліковано 22 лис 2024
- Older people don't lose control over making decisions about their life. Its gets taken away from them.
Professor Nicole Ruggiano is an expert on health and long-term care policy, chronic care and supportive services for aging adults. Her research agenda focuses on home and community-based services for older adults with chronic conditions. She is currently investigating health self-management and self-direction among older adults with chronic illnesses and disabilities. Her published articles on this topic advance current understandings about the role that older adults play within the health and disability support systems and advocate for more person-centered practices and policies that promote autonomy and choice within these systems. She is an assistant professor within the FIU School of Social Work and a John A. Hartford Geriatric Social Work Scholar.
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Nicole's message is important, because interference with older peoples' decision-making can be a major factor in destroying their self-esteem.
Very true! Also, I have found that older adults are likely to be secretive about problems they are facing in their lives, because they fear that their decision making power will be taken from them. This can put them at even greater risk.
One of the most powerful message that has been delivered.. This young woman, at 37, I must say is not only brilliant but also way ahead of her time. I expect to see more of her kind. Truly a compassionate being. Bless her soul. :)
Thank you so much for your kind words! I continue to work on these issues by promoting policies and services that support older patients' preferences.
This is such an important talk, thank you! It made me think of my cousin with Asperger’s: She often knows what’s best for her but others wanna control all of her decisions, not only when she asks for help.
It’s a fine line.
Being a senior Yoga instructor, I witness seniors struggling to maintain independence. Being mindful of what having choices taken away feels like will help protect the right to make those choices. It feels good knowing there are other people my age fighting for freedom of independence for all.
Thanks, Gabriel! If we can't get support for aging independently from people of all ages, we will never see progress!
@@nicoleruggiano2710 I agree, we can start by changing one mind at a time. I try to encourage and inspire independence in my senior Yoga classes. Keep up the good work!
Thank you, Linda! I am so pleased at all of the positive feedback from the talk. So many people have been able to relate to my study and have told me about ways that they are changing how they approach the older adults in their lives.
Nicole Ruggiano (67
At what point do you take car keys away? Because if they don't get taken away early enough, they can really hurt people. Nobody gives their keys up voluntarily. I'm ok with risky decisions that impact the individual, but when they could hurt others, then I get uncomfortable.
I initially read this and thought wow 15 minutes, ugh. well I was happily proven wrong, thank you for a compassionate self evaluating ( for me) ted talk. This in 15 minutes has changed everything I think about ageing.
That's so kind, Amanda! I understand that gerontology is a topic that does not always excite people. I'm glad that you found it insightful and that it gave you new perspective!
We as a society need to stop taking away elderly people rights! I agree 100% with you Nicole.
Thanks, Frances! Just saw your comment.
Excellent talk, Nicole. You have done a marvelous job of intertwining research and personal stories to make this issue very powerful to us all. Congratulations.
Linda Harootyan g
Very good points Nicole! Thank you for illustrating some excellent examples of ageism.
I saw this happen with my own parents and tried very hard to honor their ability to retain their personal power for as long as possible. The sad part about aging is how we lose our personal power.
It is very sad! And sometimes it is difficult to promote older people's autonomy, even when we want to. Much of the issue is how we currently have institutions and service systems set up.
What great points, Heather! Although older adults are often more at risk of having control of their lives taken away, you are correct that people of all ages would benefit from a person-centered approach. Rather than viewing person-centered aging as a gerontological concept, maybe it is more appropriate that we view it as a life course approach.
Very inspiring talk. I will not treat my aging parents indifferently. I will not take away their rights to make their own decisions for themselves unless I'm asked. You are awesome, an eye opener. Good job 👏, thank you!
Lulu
Thank you! I'm happy that you found it informative and helpful!
yes?
This amazing woman hits the hard truth about how we all might have our rights taken away just because we have aged. Thank you.
You are so kind, Gloria! I'm glad that you thought it was a good message to put out there.
This is one reason I always sleep 8 full hours every night. And why I exercise diligently . To ward off the physical decline that will give away my control to other people
THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I am 70. My hair is white and I have wrinkles. I watch how people who don't know me tend to respond to my appearance with a dismissive assumption about people my age. Those who discover how fit or energetic or unconventional I am express surprise.They can't believe that I am 70. As if being 70 necessarily dictates being in serious decline.
My greatest fear - far beyond any fear of dying - is to be "buried alive" by well intentioned people who strip me of control and dignity "for my own good". Those stereotypes that dismiss the personhood of those made vulnerable by age, help to reinforce that stereotype and add to the losses that otherwise comes with ageing.
Thanks for sharing your story, Kathy! Your experience is very similar to those who were in my study. We shouldn't be shamed or dismissed as we get older! For instance, I HATE when I see older people be infantalized by people in public by calling older people "sweetie" and "honey." Keep breaking stereotypes and teaching others that 70 can be just as productive and active as 30 (and in some cases, even more so!).
@@nicoleruggiano2710 Hi Nicole, thank you for your talk. I enjoyed it immensely and I could not agree with you more on your talking points. I do however have both a confession and question to ask you. I am one of those people who call everyone 'hun' or 'love' as a term of endearment or because at the time I was not aware of their name. What do you propose is a term that can be used in that context when either you have not been given a name and or are simply passing you by in a one off interaction? I wish to consciously make the change and would love your insight on this. Thank you.
@@kaelnorr What an interesting question that I have had many conversations about! Truthfully, I would not be considered an "older" person (though I seem to be sailing through middle age rapidly! LOL), but I do not like when people younger than me call me hun or sweetie. But maybe that's because my thinking is already "age forward." I don't interpret such terms of endearment as purposeful offenses, but prefer that people do not do this to me. I don't think that we always have to use names. For instance, "Thank you, hun!" can be just as nice as, "Thank you!" But if we really want to value the person as an individual, it most likely wouldn't hurt to ask their name. "Excuse me. What is your name?...Thank you, Sam!" I would find that appropriate if I were interacting with someone I didn't know in public. Best of luck!
I truly appreciate hearing your story Kathy! You are a role model with your spirit.
Well said. Thank you
I'm 62 now but already planning on living with my oldest son and his family because aging is a one way a trip and solitary living shortens lives.
Most people do not plan ahead for their later years - often because they don't want to think about getting older. Good job at getting a head start and being proactive at your next stage of life! You are 100% correct in that isolation is a big risk factor for physical and mental health problems for older adults. Loneliness has actually become classified as a diagnosable condition in medical care.
thank you so much for your brilliant talk, your understanding and compassion
Thank you! It was only made possible by the brave people who were willing to share their stories. It's important that their voices are heard. Research can be advocacy!
Good talk. I agree with all of your points. I also think some of your ideas traverse all generations and should be considered. Doctors and other people like to make decisions based on "scientific studies" and statistics all too frequently. Your examples of the man who enjoyed a drink for the sake of the quality of his life and the lady not wanting her pain meds due to adverse side effects are relevant to all of us. Too many restrictions and rules make us all unhappy.
Listening is really the solution as an individual usually knows themselves better than someone else. "Listening" is also why I have always adored and admired the elderly, as their lives have slowed down usually, and they have time to give you attention. I grew up as the daughter of a geriatric nurse, and I spent many weekends at nursing homes in the lounge hanging out with all of the old people while she worked. They were often times more interesting than the friends my own age.
As my own parents age, I will try to remember to consider their "person" if and when they should need my support.
Great points, Liberty! Yes, there is a movement towards person-centered care for people of all ages. Some barriers exist, though. For instance, some providers THINK that they are promoting self-determination, when they really aren't. Also there are disparities in access to the internet and information, so some patients can advocate for themselves more than others, regardless of age.
Thanks.
Excellent! Thank you!
Thank you. I wish I had seen this while my mom was still alive 😕
Karen - So sorry that your mom has passed away. While some people have told me that the points in my talk can bring up feelings of regret about our past interactions with older people in their lives, I remind them that oftentimes our urge to have control over older people comes from feelings of love and protection.
If you let the elders have "person centered aging" the consequences have to be dealt with. Sometimes they aren't fair to the children and siblings who have to pick up the pieces of the messes that happen. It is the difference between being "Me" focused, or "Us" centered.
Great points, Paul! I also am a researcher on caregiving, which helps keep me aware of the balance that is needed between keeping older adults autonomous and infringing upon other family members' health and well-being. In the 15 minutes given in the TEDx talk, it's a challenge to identify all of the layers to this issue. At the end of the day, it unfortunately often boils down to what (limited) options that families may have to draw from in order to support their aging relatives later in life. Thank you for adding this to the discussion, though!
I am now 41 years old and every time I see an old man, I always think to myself, if I make it, one day, this will be my future. I will be this old man. I will not have the same youthful look that I have now. I will be old, wrinkled, and fragile. My biggest concern is if I live to be 80+ years of age, what will my life be like?? Will I have health issues, financial struggles, loneliness?? Will I pass away before my wife does or vice versa?? Will I end up dying alone in a hospital bed with only strangers around me?? Will I be ignored, avoided, and rejected by society?? I wonder how different I will see this life compared to how I see it now. All I can do for now is get as close to God spiritually as much as possible. I want to go with God. I sincerely hope God has mercy on my soul. This life is only a temporary stage, only a dark, blind, illusionary place which was never meant for us to stay in.
While we can anticipate that aging may not go so well for all of us, we can use our younger years to be proactive in setting the stage for positive aging! Trying to stay healthy in our younger and middle years, being active with organizations and hobbies, and healing relationships as needed while we are getting older can help improve our experiences later in life. Many of the things you mentioned are outside of your control. Some are more important than others - does it matter if you have wrinkles if you have family and friends around you? I wish the best for you and that you can age gracefully and healthy!
Beware the odd knock on the door and introduction, "Hi, we're here to help." Just thinkin'...
One of my former teachers!
Fantastic ❤
Thank you!!!! I'm glad that you found it relevant.
wonderful
Thank you so much!
Is it possible to have Closed Captioning for this video?
Taking control away from older people makes me mad
Hello, what is the name of the study you were discussing?
The original study was titled Consumer direction in long-term care, but later the study design was altered to interview any older adults addressing a chronic condition and receiving ongoing medical and/or social support for it. If you are interested, some of the related research articles include:
gerontologist.oxfordjournals.org/content/55/6/1015.short
www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01634372.2011.638701
www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01634372.2014.898008
jag.sagepub.com/content/35/4/401.short
journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0164027514527974
Thank you for your interest!
I encourage anyone who would like to engage in a dialogue about person-centered aging (or any other take-away from the TEDx talk) to leave a comment!
I had a taste of aging as I was struggling with two unexpected illnesses. One was orthopedic and severely affected mobility. Wow, I have so many regrets how I might have been a better daughter and a granddaughter. I was suddenly marginalized and treated differently immediately. Suddenly, with a cane, younger people became patronizing and called me "dearie". OMG! I could go on and on with more blatant examples of improper behaviors now directed at me. Thank you Nicole for bringing to light the last sacred cow of prejudice; how we treat the aging (who must have done something right to still be here right?).
Spoken to people who arent poor .
Car keys is another whole area. .
Very true! The audience (live and internet) for this talk will tend to be people of privilege who have more options than those with little resources. However, know that the people who were represented in the study that is the focus of this talk come from all income levels. This wasn't a talk based on the experience of just white, non-Hispanic, affluent older adults. There was a lot of diversity in the older adults who were interviewed and contributed to this message. It's true that low income will result in fewer options for older adults. However, family decision making is something that affects families from all backgrounds. Thank you for adding this to the ongoing discussion!
She doesn't take into consideration that the medical professional is taking everything into consideration to their health and she acts like this is some kind of control. Its up to them and yes the children shouldn't have a say in this but the doctor is the expert on the medical issue and that must be taken into consideration. Overall a very biased talk that doesn't really have a lot of substance other than young people need to listen to old people sometimes
Thank you for your perspective, Quintin! I don't think that the take-away should be that we disregard medical expertise, and there isn't any part of this talk where I made such a claim. However, the point of the talk is that older adults' perspectives are often ignored or minimized by others, especially by those in the medical community. They aren't given a full array of choices about their health and lives, which everyone should have available to them in order to make the best decision for their health and lives. I can't disagree that there is bias in the talk - all Ted Talks are biased in that they are presented from the perspective of the presenter. However, the talk is grounded in evidence and the perspectives of older adults (not just my perspective), which means that it is more than just my opinion. There is research that backs-up the claims made in the talk, even if some disagree with them.
I am now 41 years old and every time I see an old man, I always think to myself, if I make it, one day, this will be my future. I will be this old man. I will not have the same youthful look that I have now. I will be old, wrinkled, and fragile. My biggest concern is if I live to be 80+ years of age, what will my life be like?? Will I have health issues, financial struggles, loneliness?? Will I pass away before my wife does or vice versa?? Will I end up dying alone in a hospital bed with only strangers around me?? Will I be ignored, avoided, and rejected by society?? I wonder how different I will see this life compared to how I see it now. All I can do for now is get as close to God spiritually as much as possible. I want to go with God. I sincerely hope God has mercy on my soul. This life is only a temporary stage, only a dark, blind, illusionary place which was never meant for us to stay in.
Very true! We never know what the future holds. Interestingly, later I did a study on Baby Boomer's perceptions on retirement. Many of them said that they knew that chronic illness or disability would impede their ability to work and recreation, but they made no plans ahead of time to prepare, because they felt that it was something you cannot prepare for.
Woah!!!!.........