Happy Weekend everyone and hope you all have a strong ending to June! Hope you find this video useful! Also, we are hoping some of you could help translate some of our videos to other languages: ua-cam.com/users/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UCkJEpR7JmS36tajD34Gp4VA&tab=2 This will help those who have hearing impairment or those who can benefit from other languages.
You don't have a problem - they do. Avoid them. An observable subject in our current era that has a plethora of Medias fostering the attitude via Opinion-Commentaries for the goals of Profit, Manipulation, and Control. Playing to the fears, paranoiass, insecurities, and prejudices of the vast Public and overwhelmingly number of Adolescent Ego Minded. Conscious Application of Thought with a Standard of Ethics represents a Mature Minded individual. We all have our moments of anger or breaking points when Selfish or Bully/Narcissists play their games to evoke drama and feed their Egos. Best to Boundary-up, and if necessary interaction results in their baiting - step back breathe and realize "They are emotionally capped at about 5th grade." I had an episode today - didn't respond at my preferred best - unleashed the wrath of Irish Tuths with descriptive color. I realize I must continue to work on my self growth and remove venues of social contact with Narcissists and the Narcissistic individuals. *They don't change - but We can.*
Some of us are highly sensitive people and empaths. I am. It is easy to absorb the negativity of other people. Do a google search on HSP Highly sensitive people.
Same! But don't let them ruin your day cause of little judgment, you must love yourself even if there judgement hurts you , let's be clear if they said something bad at you they are not going to make your dreams come true, this is life you need to exept all kinds of ppl , tell them : thanks buti'm happy for what i'm doing and what i'm doing is helping me like in the vid
I find that highly judgemental people never seem to change, i just avoid them when i can and focus on the people I like. In a workplace when it's tough to avoid them I just let them speak and say what they have to say, I don't apologise if I've done nothing wrong and I will stick up for myself if I need to, but just letting them get stuff off their chest seems to end the conversation quicker.
Jay Man depending how close I am to the person, it is hard for me to not take it personally at times. Even knowing they are full of it, I am overly sensitive. I gotta grow, get some emotional maturity/mastery, to get to where you are.
B. Colwell yeah, it is easier said than done. I did alot of reading into stoicism, I could pick and choose the stuff that helps me. If your an introvert there's a book called 'quiet: the power of introverts' I found this very helpful to help me feel more at ease with who I am, another book I recomend is called 'happy' by Darren brown. It's a really interesting read. There may be skepticism as to how much a book can help and maybe I found it more helpful than you might but you've got nothing to lose by reading these.
- dreamsaboutlondon - I'm not claiming to have all the answers, im only saying what may help. If it's family then what I would do is put up with it, and again, try your best to ignore whatever negativity comes, after all if it's only for one day then let them do what they have to do, focus on the end of the day. One benefit about it being family though is that personally I would feel much more comfortable about speaking up about how you feel, they'll still be family at the end and you may feel better for it. Make whichever decision feels most right for you.
No matter what your problems are, being a jerk to others is a choice. And jerks don't deserve to be helped, and certainly don't deserve thanks for their bad behavior.
LittleLulubee I think you misunderstood the reason for the advice. Saying thanks is not for their benefit, it's for yours. Takes a person out of the powerless victim position and, if done sincerely, throws off judgy mcjudgy (and shuts them up hopefully). Otherwise, to avoid sarcasm, say it silently, again to reframe ur own POV, leave the negativity with them. But I see what ur saying.
Sometimes saying thanks to jerks, feeds their ego and makes them feel superior and better than others. Honestly it depends on the jerk. If you see a good,kind and caring side to the jerk and he/she can change then saying thanks may be useful, otherwise show them no mercy. If you've been nice to them for a while and they still keep hating on you, just as much or more, they don't deserve your precious kindness. I hate people who take advantage of other people's good will.
Vegan4ever That's not the case. If someone says Thanks but I'll do it this way it definitely does not empower the other. And it definitely does not make them feel superior over others. Thank's but I'll do it this way is saying this is the end of discussion.. If you want to fight more please do attack.
Isabella Wahlers Some people are psychopaths/sociopaths and those people are usually undeserving of any love. They don't even feel the slightest bit of remorse for anything. They lack true empathy and are narcissistic. They only care about personal gain. They can however act like normal people and deceive people but they would only be acting. A kid in my school would just start getting more violent, abusive and malicious, the more nice I was to him. I started ignoring him and when he says anything to me, I am very rude to him This keeps him a little quiet. Some people are too far gone for you to help them.
It hurts me when someone who's usually friendly to everyone else is mean or judgemental towards only me. Makes me feel like I'm DEFINITELY doing something wrong, or else why would they target me specifically? Its even more difficult if they have a higher social standing than you because then other people who don't even know you start to think you're a bad person when you don't even know what you did wrong! Does anyone else have this problem?
Yes, I have this problem, too. I feel judged all the time for things that have nothing to do with me & things that don’t make sense by people who have higher social standings than me who are nice & friendly towards others. All I can say is love yourself, because if their cruelty isn’t true, it’s not true.
I face this. Even a positive comment of mine about others is taken negatively and spread around with a lie. They're not only jealous but highly judgmental. I need to learn more. How to deal with such people...
I’m in the same boat & I have dropped these judgemental friends who find fault with me when I say something, they start interrogating, making me feel like there is something wrong with me. Now I am very wary who I make friends with now. 😟
The only friends I have are online and my family is toxic. Also the person who's in charge of me is mentally sick, they don't have empathy. I even think they take pleasure out of my mom's and my suffering.
Phoenix at least you are aware. Keep a healthy distance as much as possible until you can get out and away, and then be proactive in clearing away all the toxic after effects of living in that environnent. There is no escaping some amount of contamination but again you seem aware, not in denial, so you have a good shot at full recovery with time and therapy, journaling, CBT, etc. Good luck.
this is so important right now, since my grandma is like this. but you can't talk with her or stand up. sometimes you just have to ignore people who hurt you. even if its family.
@@kweeby2928 first of All i'm sorry your ma is like this! I hope you know you're worthy of everything, despite what she said (: And secondly, you dont have to excuse her actions, just because she is family. Maybe thats what she did with her mother, but you certainly dont! Try to forgive yourself though. Its never easy with mentally ill people in the family, but that doesnt give them an excuse to treat others without a little sign of respect.
I remember learning 'I' statements in school. They taught me that instead of saying, "You're stupid," I should say, "I feel that engaging with stupid people is a waste of time."
‘-‘ a8lue OH. MY GOD. Same here. I need my own space also. Do you live with them still? I still live with mine 😩. No offence if you’re a girl but having sisters is the worst. And when I tell on them, they don’t get in trouble that much, doesn’t listen or listen to me and I’m an adult sibling, constantly name-calling, I try to ignore them but somehow a small argument happens, back-talking sisters, I’m still looking for a job or two jobs. My life is just miserable right now. 😩
@@MicJackson58 I have sisters too,my twin sister is ok but my older is worst bcs she is in team with my mom who make everything to dramatize anything,in any moment of day and night,lucky with my dad who is ok too:)
Nobody deserves hurtful, demeaning judgment. This is not to say that feedback cannot be constructive. It is the intent of the feedback. I know certain loving people who can give you a reality check in such a loving, supportive way that you actually feel empowered at the end of it. And then there are people whose praise is also toxic. Backhanded, or sarcastic. This is because the intent is to hurt you, to make you feel like shit. And it’s done by people who are struggling inside like the video described. Watch out for such negative people. Don’t let their words cut you. You are all beautiful and deserve encouragement and respect. Much love.
I've had to deal with judgmental people on my life especially my family. I'm never good enough, why are you wasting your time in college, your lazy, I wish you were never born, and on and on. No wonder I'm so negative towards myself and attract these people in my life. Every time I get ahead of the game, I get knocked down. I'm really at the point of when I graduate next summer I'm moving away. I know this won't solve any problems but it will stop the nagging of my family.
Yes, this is me. We are so similar. I’m so tired of being put down. Every time I go forward someone pushes me back down. So tired. I hope things get easier for you.
You're not alone... Indeed it's hard to swallow when the judgmental come from the family which we trust and love them so much. But yeah, I have to save myself from the toxic circle which will ruin and effect my mental health. So, thank God now I have move far away from them and happier. I hope God make your affairs get easier & may you always have a nice day ✨❤️
Some of us don’t have loving supportive people in our lives. So many people are nice to your face but they talk behind your back. I learned this by how quick gossip travels. I started telling certain people certain things just to see how fast rumors travel
My parents are both very judgemental about certain things and always point out the negative aspects in people. I'm a rather sensitive person and take things personally so their constant criticism really wears on my self esteem.
@Sophie Allen Mine are more along the lines of 'you'll never be good enough to meet our standards'. Which include getting married and having kids. Both I'm not ready for in the slightest.
@Sophie Allen Being an adult who had to move back in with my parents that's not really an option. I've also had health issues which have prevented me from working so no money to get my own place and no luck finding a job I'm certified for.
My parents were judgmental. I had to teach myself the tools in this video in order to have friends. My sister didn’t and she has only a couple of friends.
It's so easy to get obsessed with our critics! We look over the people who love us to impress the people who judge us! Learning how to be grateful for the people who matter and not focus on our haters is a monumental task. But it is very possible and necessary:)
*It’s crazy how someone judges me based off my reaction to something immature they’ve said, then they label me based off my reaction. Reactions don’t equate to our whole character. Some man said I seem cool but very angry, what a nice compliment? Um? I never get called angry, and he provoked me. Insane.*
I haven't watched this video at the time of writing this comment but there's always someone who hates me and talks trash about me in school and also physically abuses me. I'm always so nice and kind to everyone yet there are people who completely hate my guts and want to see me suffer. I really appreciate you guys making these videos.
I know it's hard to be kind but try to be strong because we all make choices - to be nice or mean to other people. Your kindness will return to you 100 fold and those who are mean to you will pay for it. Also if you pass this test, your future will be free of judgemental and nasty people. Kindness always prevails. Best of luck :) Peace and Love
The people in my life that are judgemental are my parents. Whenever I give my parents space, they try to call me back and try and argue even more about the situation they were being judgemental about before.
When I meet a highly judgemental person, I usually remind myself that I´m doing as best as I can and they have no right of telling me how to do my job. I know best where I can improve, and if they think otherwise, they´re wasting their energy, since they don´t know where I can improve. Basically: I just tell them to shut up. They´ll try a few more times, but once I start throwing around mean words (or furniture), they usually stop. One time I told the to shut up, but they didn´t listen, so I said it increasingly firmly a couple more times, with my teacher within earshot, and when they didn´t stop, I chased that guy down the hallway to a door he tried to open, but I tackled him in the back, jamming my elbow, which is rather pointy due to me being rather skinny, between his shoulders. The ambulance said he´d be fine, and since my teacher had seen the guy provoke me, I got away without a problem, since the guy knew I was prone to violence when provoked. However, usually I couldn´t control myself for that long, so my teacher told the police that the guy was obviously aiming to provoke me, with the clear intent of triggering a violent outburst on my part. Long story short: I got applauded for my above-average level of self control, and he got in trouble for intentionally endangering his fellow classmates.
i am on same page with the behaviour you showcased. there's a line or boundary which if someone keep violating intentionally, they needs to be shown that it is not acceptable and won't be tolerated. being naive or nice to others don't help in such scenarios. you can't pretend to be harmless. you need to show some controlled aggression which can be raised to a higher level as per requirement. that's where emotional intelligence is helpful which is a trainable skill. and need to be taught in schools.
My elder sister is just like this..she works in MNC have a good lifestyle,and about me I m still searching job..but I never used to b jealous of anyone...but she constantly pokes me all the time,about how I should look,how I should eat,how I should sleep..how I should wakeup...I used to sleep early and wakeup early,and she like watch movies till late night..but her constant reminders,hurts me shatters me...she jus don't evn care f others feelings,so opiniated,so judgemntal....I m tired f searchng ideas to deal her... earlier I used to cry alot over her negatve statemnts..but now I jus shouts on her,I knw it's nt going to work...but I really want her to know,how much she suffocates others
My dad is an extremely judgmental person. Not towards me, weirdly, but towards everything and everyone he doesn’t know : that The Voice contestant that he literally insulted for not having a great voice (it wasn’t even that bad), any music I listen to, any scene in a movie that is a tad too long… The problem is, it’s been poisoning me since I was a little kid, and even though I try my best to keep an open mind, it’s like i’m programmed even when he’s not here to judge things just like he would, and to think about what he would say. Whenever I listen to a song I used to like, but that he criticized, his criticism keeps haunting me and I can’t focus on the song anymore. It’s exhausting and it’s had an impact on many aspects of my personality growing up, like being addicted to other people’s opinions about me and everything I watch/listen to.
I am a judgmental person but I don't judge someone out loud. I'm usually very reclusive and I like to stay away from certain people as I do not trust them instinctually
No criticism here, just hope you don't miss out on meeting the amazing people out there while trying to dodge the lemons! At the same time your instincts are there to keep you safe so we always have to trust them. Great book out there: Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. Cheers!
This last week this channel has been helping me so much with my life.I really appreciate how much you guys do for me,and the best part is you guys stay humble and thank us,you guys are due for great success.
Awaken The Greatness Within That seems the best way to deal with it and I've had to stop contact with many people, including family members, who are extremely judgemental, not to mention abusive. 🙁
my father definitely falls under this type of personality. Next time my parents argue I'll try helping my mother with these tipps. (can't show her the video because she doesn't understand english so well)
Hi, good, always be with your mother, she needs you, if you have judgemental type father, becoz am facing the same issue. But my son is too small, still he always caring me, and suppoting me 🥰
This video is probably what I needed the most at this moment. There's a guy in my class that apparently is nice to others, except me. We aren't the closest classmates and he is just so judgmental at every action I make, specifically in art class where I feel more confident about myself, he sit near to me and, when I do something good like drawings or paints I do receive a lot of bad comments from his part. It's that bad that I even thought I wasn't good enough, and every nice comment from my art teacher were just lies. Now I know that my anxiety cannot handle comments like that, thanks for this video, it was so helpful to stand up about myself.
I ended up quiting my job because i couldn't stand my boss anymore. I worked there for four years and was the first and oldest employee they had. Right now, I can't find another job and have to live with my mom again, but I really couldn't stand it for no longer. I'm clumsy and a bit distractfull to be honest but always did my best and took more responsibilities than I should to, but wasn't enough for her, so I left. I thanked her for the opportunity and wished the best.
preciesly becuase of the amount of people surrounding me that behave this way and being so judgemental, I'm now becoming so much more conservative. i used to love sharing to people about things that i like or made me happy, but turns out there are so many them who only know how to judge and degrade people. This is why i don't like talking so much about myself to people anymore...
This video seriously underestimates how nasty people can be. I've tried to help many people out of dark places and often it ends with me being stabbed in the back. No good deed goes unpunished, not to be a cynic but that's the world we live in.
It's okay to be a bit cynical. My motto is to treat people well but always expecting the worst just to be prepared so when they stab you you are disappointed but not surprised. So I think cynically but I don't act like one. Good people DO exist but they are rare gems and hard to find and you will find a lot of shtty one before that.
I find that judging those who judge you before they do helps. After all, the judge and the impartiality are within of us all, so who cares for the approvals of others?
When people judge me I remind them not to forget kind and loyal in their assessment, (and that they're judging me at their own peril - aka proof of kindness.)
I love all the Psy2Go team, but Star Martin is probably the voice that calms me the most. Thank you for helping us deal with this topic. Lots of support 🙌🏻
I use to ask them for goals of their feedback. Sometimes I can ask them for more complex explanation of their point of view and keep asking questions towards their goal of judging. Usually works like a charm. In work environment usually this is the first and last attempt to judge me. I think they remember the struggle to rationally explain their uncontrolled behavior, so they keep their mouth shut.
tdegler this is what I do too. I have been saying “why do you think that?” Or “what makes you feel that way?” Normally the first one but that always shuts them up because they never had a real explanation of why. If they do then I always say “so you think...because...” 99.9% of the time I can rebuttal it by saying “that’s not true because....” they most of the time keep going in circles with whatever they say and so I have to keep repeating basically the same convo. It’s almost funny when you catch them like that. I have learned to screenshot whenever something like that happens to me so I can refer back to it if it happens again with the same person. Especially if they say something completely different the 2nd time I’ll always point them out on it.
Wow that’s really good because this sounds like you are being humble and ask for their opinion (and they love to give opinions in the first place that’s why they are judgemental)
Thats great ,I wish I could use it but its a different world here.Women around me judge based on what I consider vain things ,like skin complexion.Fairness is a national obsession in my country.So I get to hear things like ' ah ya I wondered why he married you in the first place.you arent even fair' ( this was said by an aunt when I got divorced) 😅😅. I said ,ah no he married me cz I have a masters degree,I have worked in 4 countries,travelled to 18 and earned more than him 😅, and my skin being brown isnt the reason for divorce.Another lady I know judges people on what they wear.Dressing smart is absolutely great, but calling out people who, for whatever reason, arent dressed well is so...cheap.The woman being criticised is an electrical engineer,financially indepedent, bought 2 houses of her own.If she wears frumpy clothes, so be it 🤷🏻♀️.Women seriously need to build up other women but nope,lets see what brand of bag she is carrying,even if its brought by husband's money.🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🙄
Hi, my boyfriend is highly judgmental so sometimes it's hard but i see through him and unknowingly used some of these methods 😊 but thank u for making this video and more tips how to deal with it 😇
I’m here after a friend embarrassed me in front of my other friends. She said all of her negative impressions about me. I hope I have watched this video before it all happened.
The judgemental people I deal with are always making me out like I'm either a hypocrite or stupid. And it has messed with my reality for like a couple years now. I can tell they are somewhat being judgemental but I found calling them out on it they deny and gaslight me into believing I'm crazy. I hate this it always ruins my day. I'm glad not the only one who has to deal with it.
I'm esfp and hsp and all my friends and i in high school/college hated judgmental people as we felt they drag you down. We were a lot more mature back then. I don't want to change who I am as I think it's healthy to think that way.
Number one should have been: don't be useless. Whenever someone judges you, especially when they're a boss, a teacher or a (senior) family member, before you go into de-escalation mode, stop yourself for just a moment and ask yourself: do they have a point? Am I the problem here? Even if these people are overly negative in their criticism, usually there's something to it that should be taken seriously. Unless your screw-up is obvious, be constructive and ask how the situation can be fixed and/or avoided in the future. Be grateful that these people make the effort to actually approach you and try to better you. Most judgemental people I had to deal with never really became my friends, but they all taught me something, and often I could earn their, sometimes grudging, respect.
I'm a very judgemental person, but I rarely ever express my thoughts. I am also always watching myself because I think that almost everyone is as judgey as me, and don't know who will be outwardly so or shun me.
In my family, they all judge people. I don't though, since I don't really like going outside of my house. But when people at school start to judge me, I brush it off since I know who I am.
My ex best friend was one of those people. I guess she became highly judgemental because of the problems she had with her parents. The problem was that the negative energy from her home was poured directly on me and even other people around us. She would make comments about me that would really hurt me just because she was in a bad mood and then wouldn't even apologize. And she would also talk about my other friends behind their back just because I was spending more time with them and she was jelaous (now I was spending more tme with them because I was tired of her hurting my feellings). I understood that she had problems and I tried to help her so many times but she always cut me off.One day it got too much and after I snapped at her and told her everything that was on my mind I just stopped being her friend. I actually am happier now even tho it's really hard to lose your best friend of 5 years but I'm happier this way.
It seems like this exact problem is what made me grow apart from my best friend in high school. Her parents were having issues too and she would say critical things that I don't think she realized hurt people around her. It drove our friends away from both of us and the negative energy made me feel terrible. I don't see her as much anymore and as much as I care about her I just couldn't be around her as much for my own mental health. It was messy and it sucks :(
Hi, I really appreciated that you told us this story, I am in a similar situation, I really care for people around me but my ex best friend does not care for me and hurt me many times. How did you live with the pain?
This is what I would be if I was a judgemental person. My parents have issues, I keep that pain inside of me & people judge me for that. I try my hardest not to judge other people. I’m sick of being judged.
This is really good advice! Currently, no one is being judgmental to me, but I think it's important to develop these skills so that when I do get judged, I'll know how to handle it.
If I see a highly judgemental person I get as far and as fast as I can to be away from them. And yes they project their own shortcomings onto you. Sometimes it's just as simple as they want to feel superior to someone. It's often ppl who have low self esteem that do that. Boundaries are essential.
Nothing. I'm always harder to myself than others may speak. That's a different kind of curse. But i learned to create a new instance, something calm and reliable. If i'm to hard or to focused, i now can address myself easier to change the bad habit. It's still not perfect.
3:20 I have Judgemental family Members and everytime I live with them. They Barely help me and they judge me! This video made me feel Better. Thanks 😌 !
Having empathy and compassion for a scumbag doesn’t mean you have to help them find themselves. Chances are engaging with them will just enable them to use and abuse you.
[Oversharing] I’m in this kind of situation rn… My roommate started to be more judgy towards me recently… It’s not even the actual talks where she’s honest about what bothers her that kick me out of my daily routine but rather the little moments where she’s saying things in a passive aggressive way… Today I struggled with stomach pain and digestion again and told her that I tried to eat chips too soon. She said ‘can you not leave the chips away for ONE week?’ which is sadly ironic because the last time I struggled with the same problem she told me that I should just eat what I want and not be so scared of eating normal too fast again… I called her out on that but I don’t think she got what bothered me about it: Both times she basically told me that I was doing it wrong and she would’ve done it right. Maybe I should move. I grew up in a dysfunctional family with very similar patterns where the thing that actually broke me were the little daily comments and me swallowing them down because they’re ‘just little comments’ right? I just got out of that and I don’t wanna get stuck in something like that again and we try to find solutions for these things since months…
Everybody: That's my parents right there! Me: I can't relate nobody in my band wants to be friends with me cause of the person I date. They don't even care who I am or me as a person all they see is, that. (Honestly it's sad but I've learned to filter out all the judgemental people in my life due to this, but it still hurts ya know?)
My two friends judge me about the clothes I wear. I know they don’t sound like good friends but they aren’t judgemental in other aspects. I don’t know what to do and I feel such anxiety when they wanna meet up with them outside of school (our school requires uniform) . I really hope talk about it will help me. I already feel a bit lighter
Okay sure, judgmental people are everywhere, no matter how old you are. But when you're in school, you just don't have that much of a choice. You're in this group of people where some are (hopefully) nice and some suck, and there's not much to do but avoid those you dislike. And it's hard. So just because I needed you to hear this: If you are watching this video because of all those judgmental people in school you're forced to live with, IT. GETS. BETTER. I promise. And you'll meet people who get you and feel like you. I've become almost invisible in school because of my fesr of judgment and I thought it'd never get better. But it did. And judging won't help those people. But someday, you'll think back to them and know that this was hard but you did it and you didn't judge others the way they did. Now go and do what you want to do because you're an amazing person with great taste and strong opinions and you can and should like and dislike whatever you want to. Don't let them tell you anything. You're an individual and it's a good thing not to fit in sometimes. Now go and be the dope person you are and remember,, I feel you. So, so many people do. You're not alone. It gets better.
I only knew overly judgemental people too once, the school I was at was like a nest of false snakes, they were always gossiping about what the unpopular people did. Then I changed schools and on my new school there were lots of friendly people who didn't judge people based on things like appearance. What I want to say is: don't give up hope. If the situation is bad, it can only get better again someday.
Being a learning disabled individual. I feel like I deal with that almost everywhere I go. It's like when people get wind of my disabilities, It's like they feel like they have help "fix it". I'm 42 years old and I don't think it has ever stopped getting annoying. As it is now, I try to practice empathy, kindness, and understanding. It battles with the need to tell someone to go fuck themselves.
Great vid noone knows what people are going through think if we all try to be a bit more compassionate and less hypocrital of others we dônt know there stories more empathy is needed !
sure we have to practice compassion and empathy, that goes for everyone. but know when to stop and put some distance (esp when it's getting too bad for your mental health!). Remember that these people, no matter where they came from, can change IF they acknowledge their trait and want to change.
I tend to isolate myself because ppl in my family are so judgemental but yet had the same problems when they was my age! Growing up everything thing was a secret and hidden that why I be so angry now. You can't play the blame game or put others down when u made the same mistakes.I lean more on my friends because they are more understanding and not attacking me. I just made 30 I just don't have time for ppl and their critisims if u not gone help the situation.
My friend is very judgmental. I love her to bits but she always assumes I am trying to critisise her. Like she came in with a handbag instead of a rucksack one-day, and I simply asked; "are you going to wear that handbag now?" And before I could say "it looks really nice", she said "I can wear what I want, just because you don't like it!" Very annoying. Thanks for this! Definitely needed it :)
Thanks for this one, very useful. I particularly appreciate the tact of not taking on their stuff. So many adults were raised by critical parents, and in turn spend their lives taking everyone around them to task. The two take aways for me are that point of not taking it personal and also understanding that these folks are ripping into the next co-worker, family member, store clerk ("I want to speak to the manager!") when you're not there.
There was 2 people I knew in high school who were highly judgmental towards anyone for no reason at all. Alot of it stemmed from me being autistic and being heavily into metal music, Back in High school I wore band shirts and shirts with guitars on them and all the time I heard it by the school principal that people were spreading rumors about me doing drugs and drinking underage which I never had done. With the autism either I got called the R word or manipulated by my own peers. High school was hell for me.
I assure myself that anyone in the world can abuse me or be horrible towards me. Then, I rarely care about anyone's opinion or judgement to me. I just learn if anyone's opinion is worthwhile, otherwise I don't let them enter my mind and drive me nuts 😊😊
There are some highly judgemental "friends" that I want to stop talking to but they will bad mouth me later to other people. Everyone knows eachother in my city, so I'm concerned.
my friend always laughs at things I wear or makes me feel embarrassed for being clumsy. she also dominates every conversation, orders things for me & talks over me when we're with other people. I have a hard time opening up and creating conversation. Anyways, I never know how to confront it but it all bothers me and I feel like I need to say something to continue a healthy friendship. Im taking everything she says personally, nowadays and I dont know what to do about it.
Searched about this,ANG guess what? I have no friends. Everyone's backbiting/judging me At first i ignored them,but it's been a year and I'm TIRED of them, I don't know,i really don't wanna end my life..no motivation just strength.
I hear you, judgemental people are everywhere, and it's usually those with inferiority complex that judge others first. What I usually do is to look at their most unattractive feature and tell myself, hey they're not so great either.
Happy Weekend everyone and hope you all have a strong ending to June! Hope you find this video useful! Also, we are hoping some of you could help translate some of our videos to other languages: ua-cam.com/users/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UCkJEpR7JmS36tajD34Gp4VA&tab=2 This will help those who have hearing impairment or those who can benefit from other languages.
O.o
Does the link work? Oo
Yeah
Can you do a video why people stop talking to you?
Yeah, we can do that. Stay tune!
i need this. i’m such a sensitive person :( just the littlest bit of judgement towards me can ruin my day
Brianna Rose me too I am 12 and I'm am trying to change my self
Same!
You don't have a problem - they do. Avoid them.
An observable subject in our current era that has a plethora of Medias fostering the attitude via Opinion-Commentaries for the goals of Profit, Manipulation, and Control.
Playing to the fears, paranoiass, insecurities, and prejudices of the vast Public and overwhelmingly number of Adolescent Ego Minded.
Conscious Application of Thought with a Standard of Ethics represents a Mature Minded individual.
We all have our moments of anger or breaking points when Selfish or Bully/Narcissists play their games to evoke drama and feed their Egos.
Best to Boundary-up, and if necessary interaction results in their baiting - step back breathe and realize "They are emotionally capped at about 5th grade."
I had an episode today - didn't respond at my preferred best - unleashed the wrath of Irish Tuths with descriptive color.
I realize I must continue to work on my self growth and remove venues of social contact with Narcissists and the Narcissistic individuals.
*They don't change - but We can.*
Some of us are highly sensitive people and empaths. I am. It is easy to absorb the negativity of other people. Do a google search on HSP Highly sensitive people.
Same! But don't let them ruin your day cause of little judgment, you must love yourself even if there judgement hurts you , let's be clear if they said something bad at you they are not going to make your dreams come true, this is life you need to exept all kinds of ppl , tell them : thanks buti'm happy for what i'm doing and what i'm doing is helping me like in the vid
I find that highly judgemental people never seem to change, i just avoid them when i can and focus on the people I like. In a workplace when it's tough to avoid them I just let them speak and say what they have to say, I don't apologise if I've done nothing wrong and I will stick up for myself if I need to, but just letting them get stuff off their chest seems to end the conversation quicker.
Jay Man depending how close I am to the person, it is hard for me to not take it personally at times. Even knowing they are full of it, I am overly sensitive. I gotta grow, get some emotional maturity/mastery, to get to where you are.
B. Colwell yeah, it is easier said than done. I did alot of reading into stoicism, I could pick and choose the stuff that helps me. If your an introvert there's a book called 'quiet: the power of introverts' I found this very helpful to help me feel more at ease with who I am, another book I recomend is called 'happy' by Darren brown. It's a really interesting read. There may be skepticism as to how much a book can help and maybe I found it more helpful than you might but you've got nothing to lose by reading these.
yeah and what if its family? eventually you have to see them and even if it's just on a birthday.
- dreamsaboutlondon - I'm not claiming to have all the answers, im only saying what may help. If it's family then what I would do is put up with it, and again, try your best to ignore whatever negativity comes, after all if it's only for one day then let them do what they have to do, focus on the end of the day. One benefit about it being family though is that personally I would feel much more comfortable about speaking up about how you feel, they'll still be family at the end and you may feel better for it. Make whichever decision feels most right for you.
Jay Man I am highly judgemental and I try not to project my own doubts on otherd
No matter what your problems are, being a jerk to others is a choice. And jerks don't deserve to be helped, and certainly don't deserve thanks for their bad behavior.
LittleLulubee I think you misunderstood the reason for the advice. Saying thanks is not for their benefit, it's for yours. Takes a person out of the powerless victim position and, if done sincerely, throws off judgy mcjudgy (and shuts them up hopefully). Otherwise, to avoid sarcasm, say it silently, again to reframe ur own POV, leave the negativity with them. But I see what ur saying.
Sometimes saying thanks to jerks, feeds their ego and makes them feel superior and better than others. Honestly it depends on the jerk. If you see a good,kind and caring side to the jerk and he/she can change then saying thanks may be useful, otherwise show them no mercy. If you've been nice to them for a while and they still keep hating on you, just as much or more, they don't deserve your precious kindness. I hate people who take advantage of other people's good will.
Vegan4ever That's not the case. If someone says Thanks but I'll do it this way it definitely does not empower the other. And it definitely does not make them feel superior over others. Thank's but I'll do it this way is saying this is the end of discussion.. If you want to fight more please do attack.
Vegan4ever Thank you for this. This is the exact experience I've had.
Isabella Wahlers Some people are psychopaths/sociopaths and those people are usually undeserving of any love. They don't even feel the slightest bit of remorse for anything. They lack true empathy and are narcissistic. They only care about personal gain. They can however act like normal people and deceive people but they would only be acting. A kid in my school would just start getting more violent, abusive and malicious, the more nice I was to him. I started ignoring him and when he says anything to me, I am very rude to him This keeps him a little quiet. Some people are too far gone for you to help them.
It hurts me when someone who's usually friendly to everyone else is mean or judgemental towards only me. Makes me feel like I'm DEFINITELY doing something wrong, or else why would they target me specifically? Its even more difficult if they have a higher social standing than you because then other people who don't even know you start to think you're a bad person when you don't even know what you did wrong!
Does anyone else have this problem?
Please try to ignore them. They do not deserve to be with you. Always have faith on yourself. Good luck😊
Yes, I have this problem, too. I feel judged all the time for things that have nothing to do with me & things that don’t make sense by people who have higher social standings than me who are nice & friendly towards others. All I can say is love yourself, because if their cruelty isn’t true, it’s not true.
I face this. Even a positive comment of mine about others is taken negatively and spread around with a lie. They're not only jealous but highly judgmental. I need to learn more. How to deal with such people...
Same
I’m in the same boat & I have dropped these judgemental friends who find fault with me when I say something, they start interrogating, making me feel like there is something wrong with me. Now I am very wary who I make friends with now. 😟
The only friends I have are online and my family is toxic. Also the person who's in charge of me is mentally sick, they don't have empathy. I even think they take pleasure out of my mom's and my suffering.
Phoenix at least you are aware. Keep a healthy distance as much as possible until you can get out and away, and then be proactive in clearing away all the toxic after effects of living in that environnent. There is no escaping some amount of contamination but again you seem aware, not in denial, so you have a good shot at full recovery with time and therapy, journaling, CBT, etc. Good luck.
Then stand up for yourself and your mom !
this is so important right now, since my grandma is like this. but you can't talk with her or stand up. sometimes you just have to ignore people who hurt you. even if its family.
- dreamsaboutlondon - my grandma is like that too.
My whole family is like this
Exactly, and my mom always told me to forgive and show empathy torwards her, but it never feels like she is actually caring about me mentally.
@@kweeby2928 first of All i'm sorry your ma is like this! I hope you know you're worthy of everything, despite what she said (:
And secondly, you dont have to excuse her actions, just because she is family. Maybe thats what she did with her mother, but you certainly dont! Try to forgive yourself though. Its never easy with mentally ill people in the family, but that doesnt give them an excuse to treat others without a little sign of respect.
@@not-a-ghost2206 thank you :3
Watching Psych2Go at 3am because
P R I O R I T I E S
We feel loved Patrick. Thank you for the support and loyalty!
Patrick Daubert WEAK I'm here at 6 am
IDK k. Dude i've been there since 1945 you cant beat me 😮
Patrick Daubert Same
Toy Daubert lol
I remember learning 'I' statements in school. They taught me that instead of saying, "You're stupid," I should say, "I feel that engaging with stupid people is a waste of time."
My entire family in a nutshell, can’t wait to move out..
‘-‘ a8lue OH. MY GOD. Same here. I need my own space also. Do you live with them still? I still live with mine 😩. No offence if you’re a girl but having sisters is the worst. And when I tell on them, they don’t get in trouble that much, doesn’t listen or listen to me and I’m an adult sibling, constantly name-calling, I try to ignore them but somehow a small argument happens, back-talking sisters, I’m still looking for a job or two jobs. My life is just miserable right now. 😩
SAME
how are u?
U good?
@@MicJackson58 I have sisters too,my twin sister is ok but my older is worst bcs she is in team with my mom who make everything to dramatize anything,in any moment of day and night,lucky with my dad who is ok too:)
Nobody deserves hurtful, demeaning judgment. This is not to say that feedback cannot be constructive. It is the intent of the feedback. I know certain loving people who can give you a reality check in such a loving, supportive way that you actually feel empowered at the end of it. And then there are people whose praise is also toxic. Backhanded, or sarcastic.
This is because the intent is to hurt you, to make you feel like shit. And it’s done by people who are struggling inside like the video described.
Watch out for such negative people. Don’t let their words cut you. You are all beautiful and deserve encouragement and respect.
Much love.
I've had to deal with judgmental people on my life especially my family. I'm never good enough, why are you wasting your time in college, your lazy, I wish you were never born, and on and on. No wonder I'm so negative towards myself and attract these people in my life. Every time I get ahead of the game, I get knocked down. I'm really at the point of when I graduate next summer I'm moving away. I know this won't solve any problems but it will stop the nagging of my family.
Yes, this is me. We are so similar. I’m so tired of being put down. Every time I go forward someone pushes me back down. So tired. I hope things get easier for you.
You're not alone... Indeed it's hard to swallow when the judgmental come from the family which we trust and love them so much.
But yeah, I have to save myself from the toxic circle which will ruin and effect my mental health. So, thank God now I have move far away from them and happier.
I hope God make your affairs get easier & may you always have a nice day ✨❤️
Some of us don’t have loving supportive people in our lives. So many people are nice to your face but they talk behind your back. I learned this by how quick gossip travels. I started telling certain people certain things just to see how fast rumors travel
My parents are both very judgemental about certain things and always point out the negative aspects in people. I'm a rather sensitive person and take things personally so their constant criticism really wears on my self esteem.
@Sophie Allen Mine are more along the lines of 'you'll never be good enough to meet our standards'. Which include getting married and having kids. Both I'm not ready for in the slightest.
@Sophie Allen Being an adult who had to move back in with my parents that's not really an option. I've also had health issues which have prevented me from working so no money to get my own place and no luck finding a job I'm certified for.
Yes me too. It’s exhausting.
My parents were judgmental. I had to teach myself the tools in this video in order to have friends. My sister didn’t and she has only a couple of friends.
It's so easy to get obsessed with our critics! We look over the people who love us to impress the people who judge us! Learning how to be grateful for the people who matter and not focus on our haters is a monumental task. But it is very possible and necessary:)
💛 Yes, thank you. 💛
This resonated
/haters gonna hate/
Its best to know that your not that important so theyre opinions mean absolutely nothing
*It’s crazy how someone judges me based off my reaction to something immature they’ve said, then they label me based off my reaction. Reactions don’t equate to our whole character. Some man said I seem cool but very angry, what a nice compliment? Um? I never get called angry, and he provoked me. Insane.*
Hi if you’re reading this. Please remember you’re beautiful 😍and I hope you are having a wonderful day!
From a small youtuber in Australia! 😚🐻🤓
thank you! :)
Even you are very beautiful 😊
I haven't watched this video at the time of writing this comment but there's always someone who hates me and talks trash about me in school and also physically abuses me. I'm always so nice and kind to everyone yet there are people who completely hate my guts and want to see me suffer. I really appreciate you guys making these videos.
@Sophie Allen Thanks for your kind words. I seriously appreciate it
I know it's hard to be kind but try to be strong because we all make choices - to be nice or mean to other people. Your kindness will return to you 100 fold and those who are mean to you will pay for it. Also if you pass this test, your future will be free of judgemental and nasty people. Kindness always prevails. Best of luck :) Peace and Love
The people in my life that are judgemental are my parents. Whenever I give my parents space, they try to call me back and try and argue even more about the situation they were being judgemental about before.
4 am. I should probably sleep.
We all should be haha. Anyone want a video on night owls?
Psych2Go Yus *- *
Yes!!
Psych2Go OMG, Yesss.
Psych2Go
Sure
When I meet a highly judgemental person, I usually remind myself that I´m doing as best as I can and they have no right of telling me how to do my job.
I know best where I can improve, and if they think otherwise, they´re wasting their energy, since they don´t know where I can improve.
Basically: I just tell them to shut up. They´ll try a few more times, but once I start throwing around mean words (or furniture), they usually stop.
One time I told the to shut up, but they didn´t listen, so I said it increasingly firmly a couple more times, with my teacher within earshot, and when they didn´t stop, I chased that guy down the hallway to a door he tried to open, but I tackled him in the back, jamming my elbow, which is rather pointy due to me being rather skinny, between his shoulders.
The ambulance said he´d be fine, and since my teacher had seen the guy provoke me, I got away without a problem, since the guy knew I was prone to violence when provoked. However, usually I couldn´t control myself for that long, so my teacher told the police that the guy was obviously aiming to provoke me, with the clear intent of triggering a violent outburst on my part.
Long story short: I got applauded for my above-average level of self control, and he got in trouble for intentionally endangering his fellow classmates.
Hidden Shadow 👍 well played sir.
You have to stand up for yourself when people are putting you down for no reason.
i am on same page with the behaviour you showcased. there's a line or boundary which if someone keep violating intentionally, they needs to be shown that it is not acceptable and won't be tolerated. being naive or nice to others don't help in such scenarios. you can't pretend to be harmless. you need to show some controlled aggression which can be raised to a higher level as per requirement. that's where emotional intelligence is helpful which is a trainable skill. and need to be taught in schools.
My elder sister is just like this..she works in MNC have a good lifestyle,and about me I m still searching job..but I never used to b jealous of anyone...but she constantly pokes me all the time,about how I should look,how I should eat,how I should sleep..how I should wakeup...I used to sleep early and wakeup early,and she like watch movies till late night..but her constant reminders,hurts me shatters me...she jus don't evn care f others feelings,so opiniated,so judgemntal....I m tired f searchng ideas to deal her... earlier I used to cry alot over her negatve statemnts..but now I jus shouts on her,I knw it's nt going to work...but I really want her to know,how much she suffocates others
My dad is an extremely judgmental person. Not towards me, weirdly, but towards everything and everyone he doesn’t know : that The Voice contestant that he literally insulted for not having a great voice (it wasn’t even that bad), any music I listen to, any scene in a movie that is a tad too long… The problem is, it’s been poisoning me since I was a little kid, and even though I try my best to keep an open mind, it’s like i’m programmed even when he’s not here to judge things just like he would, and to think about what he would say. Whenever I listen to a song I used to like, but that he criticized, his criticism keeps haunting me and I can’t focus on the song anymore. It’s exhausting and it’s had an impact on many aspects of my personality growing up, like being addicted to other people’s opinions about me and everything I watch/listen to.
I am a judgmental person but I don't judge someone out loud. I'm usually very reclusive and I like to stay away from certain people as I do not trust them instinctually
No criticism here, just hope you don't miss out on meeting the amazing people out there while trying to dodge the lemons! At the same time your instincts are there to keep you safe so we always have to trust them. Great book out there: Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. Cheers!
I love this behavior honestly.
I don't see any problems in doing this. I think it is great, though.
Engaging in number 7 right now. Thank Psych2Go!
Just limit your time around them or avoid them at all together.
Yay i love this channel 😀😀 you made me love psychology
This last week this channel has been helping me so much with my life.I really appreciate how much you guys do for me,and the best part is you guys stay humble and thank us,you guys are due for great success.
As soon as I know the other person is a judgmental person, I delete them from my life. I don’t want negative people in my life. Positivity is the key.
Awaken The Greatness Within That seems the best way to deal with it and I've had to stop contact with many people, including family members, who are extremely judgemental, not to mention abusive. 🙁
@@cyndigooch1162 yeah the most problems seem to come from family these days. It’s weird tbh. But we have to do what’s best for our mental health.
my father definitely falls under this type of personality. Next time my parents argue I'll try helping my mother with these tipps. (can't show her the video because she doesn't understand english so well)
Hi, good, always be with your mother, she needs you, if you have judgemental type father, becoz am facing the same issue. But my son is too small, still he always caring me, and suppoting me 🥰
This video is probably what I needed the most at this moment.
There's a guy in my class that apparently is nice to others, except me.
We aren't the closest classmates and he is just so judgmental at every action I make, specifically in art class where I feel more confident about myself, he sit near to me and, when I do something good like drawings or paints I do receive a lot of bad comments from his part.
It's that bad that I even thought I wasn't good enough, and every nice comment from my art teacher were just lies.
Now I know that my anxiety cannot handle comments like that, thanks for this video, it was so helpful to stand up about myself.
I ended up quiting my job because i couldn't stand my boss anymore. I worked there for four years and was the first and oldest employee they had. Right now, I can't find another job and have to live with my mom again, but I really couldn't stand it for no longer. I'm clumsy and a bit distractfull to be honest but always did my best and took more responsibilities than I should to, but wasn't enough for her, so I left. I thanked her for the opportunity and wished the best.
James Michel they would have stuck together and deny it. I should have recorded
Same. Keep a distance. As long as I'm happy and you're happy, that's enough.
preciesly becuase of the amount of people surrounding me that behave this way and being so judgemental, I'm now becoming so much more conservative. i used to love sharing to people about things that i like or made me happy, but turns out there are so many them who only know how to judge and degrade people. This is why i don't like talking so much about myself to people anymore...
This video seriously underestimates how nasty people can be. I've tried to help many people out of dark places and often it ends with me being stabbed in the back. No good deed goes unpunished, not to be a cynic but that's the world we live in.
It's okay to be a bit cynical. My motto is to treat people well but always expecting the worst just to be prepared so when they stab you you are disappointed but not surprised. So I think cynically but I don't act like one. Good people DO exist but they are rare gems and hard to find and you will find a lot of shtty one before that.
@berserker3414 100% that's my motto too
I find that judging those who judge you before they do helps. After all, the judge and the impartiality are within of us all, so who cares for the approvals of others?
💯💯💯
i cant stand these kind of people
Sometimes i just walks away y'know.
not really worth my time to deal with these person.
How I deal with judgmental people well...Thanks to my "very" judgmental family, I just ignore them and look away.
I feel like it’s so clear that we’re changing the topic.
When people judge me I remind them not to forget kind and loyal in their assessment, (and that they're judging me at their own peril - aka proof of kindness.)
I love all the Psy2Go team, but Star Martin is probably the voice that calms me the most. Thank you for helping us deal with this topic. Lots of support 🙌🏻
I love your guy's videos. They help a lot. Thanks for putting in time and effort💜
Sweet voice..❤❤
Glad you love her voice!
Thank you 😊
@@StarMartin Your welcome Your welcome it's adorable!!
I love how everyone here on the comments shares their own personal story and just be open about everything.
I use to ask them for goals of their feedback. Sometimes I can ask them for more complex explanation of their point of view and keep asking questions towards their goal of judging.
Usually works like a charm.
In work environment usually this is the first and last attempt to judge me. I think they remember the struggle to rationally explain their uncontrolled behavior, so they keep their mouth shut.
tdegler this is what I do too. I have been saying “why do you think that?” Or “what makes you feel that way?” Normally the first one but that always shuts them up because they never had a real explanation of why. If they do then I always say “so you think...because...” 99.9% of the time I can rebuttal it by saying “that’s not true because....” they most of the time keep going in circles with whatever they say and so I have to keep repeating basically the same convo. It’s almost funny when you catch them like that. I have learned to screenshot whenever something like that happens to me so I can refer back to it if it happens again with the same person. Especially if they say something completely different the 2nd time I’ll always point them out on it.
Thank you, will be using it, in fact, can't wait :D
Wow that’s really good because this sounds like you are being humble and ask for their opinion (and they love to give opinions in the first place that’s why they are judgemental)
Thats great ,I wish I could use it but its a different world here.Women around me judge based on what I consider vain things ,like skin complexion.Fairness is a national obsession in my country.So I get to hear things like ' ah ya I wondered why he married you in the first place.you arent even fair' ( this was said by an aunt when I got divorced) 😅😅. I said ,ah no he married me cz I have a masters degree,I have worked in 4 countries,travelled to 18 and earned more than him 😅, and my skin being brown isnt the reason for divorce.Another lady I know judges people on what they wear.Dressing smart is absolutely great, but calling out people who, for whatever reason, arent dressed well is so...cheap.The woman being criticised is an electrical engineer,financially indepedent, bought 2 houses of her own.If she wears frumpy clothes, so be it 🤷🏻♀️.Women seriously need to build up other women but nope,lets see what brand of bag she is carrying,even if its brought by husband's money.🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🙄
I still wish there'd be a public Discord server about this channel.
I love your videos because they are all very useful and inform me about certain things
Thank you for making this channel
We're glad! This keeps us going! :)
When there's too much drama at school, all you gotta do is..... WALK AWAYAYAY
That little girl made my day with that vine!
I deal with judgemental people by replying polite in 2-3 words sentences
Going to use this topic for my presentation on Monday ^^ This channel is definitely my favorite, I learnt alot!
Already 3:25 AM but still watchinf random videos about how to deal with judgemental people
How to firmly stand your ground but not in a too serious way but also they get your point
Hi, my boyfriend is highly judgmental so sometimes it's hard but i see through him and unknowingly used some of these methods 😊 but thank u for making this video and more tips how to deal with it 😇
I’m here after a friend embarrassed me in front of my other friends. She said all of her negative impressions about me. I hope I have watched this video before it all happened.
The judgemental people I deal with are always making me out like I'm either a hypocrite or stupid. And it has messed with my reality for like a couple years now. I can tell they are somewhat being judgemental but I found calling them out on it they deny and gaslight me into believing I'm crazy.
I hate this it always ruins my day. I'm glad not the only one who has to deal with it.
"It's hard to think that's why most people judge."
This’ll help me with my parents, so thank you so much!
I'm esfp and hsp and all my friends and i in high school/college hated judgmental people as we felt they drag you down. We were a lot more mature back then. I don't want to change who I am as I think it's healthy to think that way.
Number one should have been: don't be useless. Whenever someone judges you, especially when they're a boss, a teacher or a (senior) family member, before you go into de-escalation mode, stop yourself for just a moment and ask yourself: do they have a point? Am I the problem here? Even if these people are overly negative in their criticism, usually there's something to it that should be taken seriously. Unless your screw-up is obvious, be constructive and ask how the situation can be fixed and/or avoided in the future. Be grateful that these people make the effort to actually approach you and try to better you.
Most judgemental people I had to deal with never really became my friends, but they all taught me something, and often I could earn their, sometimes grudging, respect.
I'm a very judgemental person, but I rarely ever express my thoughts. I am also always watching myself because I think that almost everyone is as judgey as me, and don't know who will be outwardly so or shun me.
In my family, they all judge people. I don't though, since I don't really like going outside of my house. But when people at school start to judge me, I brush it off since I know who I am.
My ex best friend was one of those people. I guess she became highly judgemental because of the problems she had with her parents. The problem was that the negative energy from her home was poured directly on me and even other people around us. She would make comments about me that would really hurt me just because she was in a bad mood and then wouldn't even apologize. And she would also talk about my other friends behind their back just because I was spending more time with them and she was jelaous (now I was spending more tme with them because I was tired of her hurting my feellings). I understood that she had problems and I tried to help her so many times but she always cut me off.One day it got too much and after I snapped at her and told her everything that was on my mind I just stopped being her friend. I actually am happier now even tho it's really hard to lose your best friend of 5 years but I'm happier this way.
It seems like this exact problem is what made me grow apart from my best friend in high school. Her parents were having issues too and she would say critical things that I don't think she realized hurt people around her. It drove our friends away from both of us and the negative energy made me feel terrible. I don't see her as much anymore and as much as I care about her I just couldn't be around her as much for my own mental health. It was messy and it sucks :(
Hi, I really appreciated that you told us this story, I am in a similar situation, I really care for people around me but my ex best friend does not care for me and hurt me many times. How did you live with the pain?
This is what I would be if I was a judgemental person. My parents have issues, I keep that pain inside of me & people judge me for that. I try my hardest not to judge other people. I’m sick of being judged.
This is really good advice! Currently, no one is being judgmental to me, but I think it's important to develop these skills so that when I do get judged, I'll know how to handle it.
This is such a helpful video!!
If I see a highly judgemental person I get as far and as fast as I can to be away from them. And yes they project their own shortcomings onto you. Sometimes it's just as simple as they want to feel superior to someone. It's often ppl who have low self esteem that do that. Boundaries are essential.
Nothing. I'm always harder to myself than others may speak. That's a different kind of curse.
But i learned to create a new instance, something calm and reliable. If i'm to hard or to focused, i now can address myself easier to change the bad habit. It's still not perfect.
3:20 I have Judgemental family Members and everytime I live with them. They Barely help me and they judge me!
This video made me feel Better. Thanks 😌 !
Having empathy and compassion for a scumbag doesn’t mean you have to help them find themselves. Chances are engaging with them will just enable them to use and abuse you.
[Oversharing]
I’m in this kind of situation rn…
My roommate started to be more judgy towards me recently… It’s not even the actual talks where she’s honest about what bothers her that kick me out of my daily routine but rather the little moments where she’s saying things in a passive aggressive way…
Today I struggled with stomach pain and digestion again and told her that I tried to eat chips too soon. She said ‘can you not leave the chips away for ONE week?’ which is sadly ironic because the last time I struggled with the same problem she told me that I should just eat what I want and not be so scared of eating normal too fast again…
I called her out on that but I don’t think she got what bothered me about it: Both times she basically told me that I was doing it wrong and she would’ve done it right.
Maybe I should move.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family with very similar patterns where the thing that actually broke me were the little daily comments and me swallowing them down because they’re ‘just little comments’ right?
I just got out of that and I don’t wanna get stuck in something like that again and we try to find solutions for these things since months…
Everybody: That's my parents right there!
Me: I can't relate nobody in my band wants to be friends with me cause of the person I date. They don't even care who I am or me as a person all they see is, that. (Honestly it's sad but I've learned to filter out all the judgemental people in my life due to this, but it still hurts ya know?)
Thank you 😊😊😊
You're welcome!
My two friends judge me about the clothes I wear. I know they don’t sound like good friends but they aren’t judgemental in other aspects. I don’t know what to do and I feel such anxiety when they wanna meet up with them outside of school (our school requires uniform) . I really hope talk about it will help me. I already feel a bit lighter
it’s been a year but I hope you’re doing great ;_;
This channel is really dope. Always gives the best advice👍🏾👍🏾❤️
I love your videos!!😊
All of you keep up the good work!!
We will always support you!!❤
Lol it’s like 5:08 in the morning I didn’t sleep but I mean worth it
Where are you from? :)
I am from Ohio 😂
Okay sure, judgmental people are everywhere, no matter how old you are. But when you're in school, you just don't have that much of a choice. You're in this group of people where some are (hopefully) nice and some suck, and there's not much to do but avoid those you dislike. And it's hard. So just because I needed you to hear this: If you are watching this video because of all those judgmental people in school you're forced to live with, IT. GETS. BETTER. I promise. And you'll meet people who get you and feel like you. I've become almost invisible in school because of my fesr of judgment and I thought it'd never get better. But it did. And judging won't help those people. But someday, you'll think back to them and know that this was hard but you did it and you didn't judge others the way they did. Now go and do what you want to do because you're an amazing person with great taste and strong opinions and you can and should like and dislike whatever you want to. Don't let them tell you anything. You're an individual and it's a good thing not to fit in sometimes. Now go and be the dope person you are and remember,, I feel you. So, so many people do. You're not alone. It gets better.
Wait, you're saying there are people who are not like this?!
I only knew overly judgemental people too once, the school I was at was like a nest of false snakes, they were always gossiping about what the unpopular people did. Then I changed schools and on my new school there were lots of friendly people who didn't judge people based on things like appearance.
What I want to say is: don't give up hope. If the situation is bad, it can only get better again someday.
Being a learning disabled individual. I feel like I deal with that almost everywhere I go. It's like when people get wind of my disabilities, It's like they feel like they have help "fix it". I'm 42 years old and I don't think it has ever stopped getting annoying. As it is now, I try to practice empathy, kindness, and understanding. It battles with the need to tell someone to go fuck themselves.
Thank you for the guide. Crossing my fingers that I can help my partner out of the darkness.
💛 I wish you all the best in helping your partner get out of the judging cycle/or the cycle of being judged 💛
I never judge anyone unless they're hurting someone else. There's a reason behind everything, but there's no excuse for harassment
Great vid noone knows what people are going through think if we all try to be a bit more compassionate and less hypocrital of others we dônt know there stories more empathy is needed !
sure we have to practice compassion and empathy, that goes for everyone. but know when to stop and put some distance (esp when it's getting too bad for your mental health!). Remember that these people, no matter where they came from, can change IF they acknowledge their trait and want to change.
I tend to isolate myself because ppl in my family are so judgemental but yet had the same problems when they was my age! Growing up everything thing was a secret and hidden that why I be so angry now. You can't play the blame game or put others down when u made the same mistakes.I lean more on my friends because they are more understanding and not attacking me. I just made 30 I just don't have time for ppl and their critisims if u not gone help the situation.
Thanks
I now know how to act around myself better
Finally, I know how to act around my family
These psychology tips are really hard to use in the moment, but they're good tips though!
My friend is very judgmental. I love her to bits but she always assumes I am trying to critisise her. Like she came in with a handbag instead of a rucksack one-day, and I simply asked; "are you going to wear that handbag now?" And before I could say "it looks really nice", she said "I can wear what I want, just because you don't like it!" Very annoying. Thanks for this! Definitely needed it :)
After watching this vid I know I’m doing ok still to my best possible ability in the true reality of living life forward
Thanks for this one, very useful. I particularly appreciate the tact of not taking on their stuff. So many adults were raised by critical parents, and in turn spend their lives taking everyone around them to task. The two take aways for me are that point of not taking it personal and also understanding that these folks are ripping into the next co-worker, family member, store clerk ("I want to speak to the manager!") when you're not there.
Love this channel🖖🏼🤘🏼
I love this channel so much !!! Everything is so true!!! Thank you for making all these videos
There was 2 people I knew in high school who were highly judgmental towards anyone for no reason at all. Alot of it stemmed from me being autistic and being heavily into metal music, Back in High school I wore band shirts and shirts with guitars on them and all the time I heard it by the school principal that people were spreading rumors about me doing drugs and drinking underage which I never had done. With the autism either I got called the R word or manipulated by my own peers.
High school was hell for me.
I assure myself that anyone in the world can abuse me or be horrible towards me.
Then, I rarely care about anyone's opinion or judgement to me.
I just learn if anyone's opinion is worthwhile, otherwise I don't let them enter my mind and drive me nuts 😊😊
There are some highly judgemental "friends" that I want to stop talking to but they will bad mouth me later to other people. Everyone knows eachother in my city, so I'm concerned.
my friend always laughs at things I wear or makes me feel embarrassed for being clumsy. she also dominates every conversation, orders things for me & talks over me when we're with other people. I have a hard time opening up and creating conversation. Anyways, I never know how to confront it but it all bothers me and I feel like I need to say something to continue a healthy friendship. Im taking everything she says personally, nowadays and I dont know what to do about it.
Your friend is fake. Simply don't respect you but gradually destroy you.
Searched about this,ANG guess what?
I have no friends.
Everyone's backbiting/judging me
At first i ignored them,but it's been a year and I'm TIRED of them, I don't know,i really don't wanna end my life..no motivation just strength.
I hear you, judgemental people are everywhere, and it's usually those with inferiority complex that judge others first. What I usually do is to look at their most unattractive feature and tell myself, hey they're not so great either.
"When you realise you yourself are very judgemental sometimes😶"
Thanks Psych2Go. Finally some different content. I appreciate it a lot!
I have to get up early but hey it's only 3 am. Who needs sleep
SAME!
Yay 50th view!! I really love your videos Psycho2Go!!