Thank you! I have been saying this for years! If someone is only having kids because they feel pressured by society then that is the WRONG reason to have them!
Exactly! It’s when ppl who don’t want kids have them the more likely they will be neglected and mistreated. We already have enough abandoned and abused children in foster homes as it is.
@@patty-pat-pat not as obvious as you would think. So many people say even if you don’t think you want kids you should have them because you’ll learn to love them, and you’ll regret not having them. Like, what if I regret having them?? Then what?
Love my kids, love my crazy goldendoodle but good lord…I’d have so much more time/money/sleep without them. I’m kidding but it’s a huge reality of being a parent. I celebrate my friends that decide to be child-free as much as my friends that decide to have children. Those are decisions they’ve have made to live their best lives. I hate when parents are so nasty to people that are child-free or attack child-free spaces.
Why when dogs are nothing like kids? They are nothing alike. You don't have to have children, but at least don't dehumanize them by comparing them to dogs. Thats like comparing a special needs person or an elderly person to dogs. Just because a human being needs care, it doesn't make them a lesser human that is like a dog. A child has a rapidly developing brain and a complex psyche, and anything you do or don't do while raising them will affect countless people that your child interacts with throughout their 80+ years of life (future spouses, children, friends, coworkers, etc..). It's a massive responsibility, and the human brain is extremely complex. Especially if any of them end up being neurodivergent like two of mine are. But a dog? A dog does not have a complex psyche and they basically just live for a few years to eat and poop while keeping you company. There is no comparison.
I strongly believe that neither people who want children nor people who don’t want children owe anybody an explanation. Want kids? Good. Don’t want kids? Good. Period.
I firmly beleive if someone is hating you for choosing not to have children it's because they chose to have children and now they are secretly regretting it.
Reminds me of a clip from a show where the aunt tells the niece to stay away from men (I forgot what the talk was about) and the niece, a grown ass butch lesbian woman, says "don't worry auntie, I will" while trying not to laugh. 😂😂
I have mad respect for people who do not want kids and take the appropriate measures to not have kids. There are so many unwanted kids with parents who don’t deserve them. I think not having kids if you don’t want them is incredibly responsible.
Yes this!! I have seen so many children with parents who didn’t want them and it’s always heartbreaking! I have a lot of respect for people who choose to not have children.
You are describing me. Chronic ED and depression. What kind of monster should I be if I brought a human to my -life- hell just because "I wanna be a mom" or "who' s gonna take care of me in the future"??!!! 😱 I have renounced to my desire of being a dog mom because I' m fully conscious that I' m unable to offer the life they deserve (a schedule, cooking fresh food, walking and playing outside, socializing with other dogs,...). After a research with our trusty vet, she chose an old blind ferret for me making sure I could cover all her needs (it includes that the vet will come to my apartment in case _Miss Ferretti_ needs medical assistance while I' m suffering a crisis). *AND PEOPLE WHO KNOW MY CONDITION STILL KEEP TELLING ME THAT A BABY WOULD BE MY REDEMPTION* 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️... (Allegedly mentally sane people🙄).
Sorta similar here, was a teacher and still work with children, love working with them, adore my friends' kids. Never felt a strong drive to have one myself. 🤷♀️
Honestly, enriching the lives of many children seems more helpful to society than having one or two children of your own... who are likely going to be spending a lot of time in childcare/school
I love kids, they don't judge, they (mostly) are the nicest people you'll meet, they come up with the most creative elaborate nonsense. But I *LOVE* that they go *back* to their parents. I *LOVE* that I don't have to deal with the situations where they eat turds, (kids eat literal shit, even their own). Love kids, they are great. But I will be giving them back to their parents, thank you.
I think child-free workers in child related industries are the BEST - the level of patience and empathy and consideration they give to children is Unlimited. I’m not saying parents can’t be talented in those job positions, but honestly they seem to run out of patience sooner than their non-parent colleague. Understandable because they never get a full break from childcare responsibilities to rest and recharge. I don’t dismiss the role a childfree adult plays in a child’s life - the younger generations benefit immensely from having adults who are childfree in their lives; their lives are enriched in ways that children whose circle of adults in their lives are all parents miss out on. Society at large benefits from both parents and childfree adults.
I never asked to be born, I'm not going to make someone else be born. I'll take care of my rescued dogs who also didn't ask to be born. The world is harsh.
My mom is one of 12 and the kind of running joke was that my grandparents didn't live on a farm and weren't Catholic, they just loved babies😅 Most other families at the time had lots of kids so they'd have help on the farm, like my dad, who is the oldest of 8 and grew up on a dairy farm with a father who probably should have chosen not to have kids...
These sentiments upset me so much. A lot of us are born unable to have children and give up after long, painful, exhausting and expensive fertility battles. Were we born without purpose? Should we un-alive ourselves as well? How utterly short sighted. Some people need to get over themselves!
Not being able to have children doesn't mean others should have to go out and want them or even agree that everyone should have them. I get that wanting a child is a powerful need many of us feel, but if you're feeling how you described then you have other issues going on as well that may need therapeutic interventions. Especially before you do have a child if it's in the cards for you. Your life should never be dependent on the existence of another being whether. That can create a whole bunch of problems with things like boundaries and over attachment if you don't get help for it.
Wait, what? I am agreeing with Robert here. I think it’s fairly clear I’m agreeing that it’s total BS to say your life only has meaning if you have kids. People who have that view are idiots, is what I was saying. Because it means my life has no meaning, even though I do actually want kids.
@@cerinekoWhat you said was perfectly clear. I have no idea how Millenial Spinster took your words that way. You are absolutely right that people who say that "life is meaningless without children" are insulting both to people who are child free by choice and those who are unable to have children. Your life has meaning regardless of whether or not you have children.
As someone with literal insane parents, I believe that there are plenty of people on this planet who have no business having children lmao. Also, the same people who say “who is going to take care of you when you’re old?” Are the same parents whose adult children don’t call them because they were insufferable parental figures. LAWD have MERCY 💀
I need to add a personal anecdote. I used to work with this woman in her late 50s who several times expressed how her only wish in life was to have kids. A colleague brought her bb to work once and that's literally all she talked about. She can't have children, so her life as a woman is thus incomplete. Nevermind the supposedly happy marriage, good career, health, friends and family. At one point I just had enough of it so i asked her if she ever considered adoption or foster care? She told me no because it wouldn't be the same. You dont want a child then, you just want to pass on your dna!
Good, adopted children suffer so much already. She doesn't sound emotionally invested in the genuine wellbeing of a complete being other than herself. They dodged a bullet. ❤
Couldn't she have just donated to an egg bank? Is that a thing? ☺️ Then her offspring would be out there living their lives, not having to be raised by her.
To me, this is a part of why I'm against paid surrogacy. It's wealthy people exploiting poor women (there's a reason we never seen rich women doing surrogacy for strangers) because they really really just want to pass down their DNA.
As a child owning person… I openly congratulate anyone who has made the choice to not have any. I’m so proud of anyone who has made that choice and doesn’t feel pressured to make more humans when they truly don’t want to! ❤
@@aliciagoveia7602 My apologies! ADHD strikes again; I missed the context from the video. I thought it was odd, because your comment was so sincerely supportive of common sense parenting; I should've put that together. So sorry. [I have an intense urge to delete my comment and slink away out of sheer embarrassment, but I'm going to leave this for any of my ADHD brethren who might've also gotten distracted and missed the joke. It's me, your cautionary tale, makin an ass out of herself in the comments section.]
Some parents need to be more honest about what it means to have a child. They tend to paint this perfect picture of parenthood, actively encourage others to procreate and act surprised/disappointed when someone choses to be child free. These are the same parents who purposely don't tell you the very real pregnancy/birthing horror stories and risks or the regret they feel when their children turn into little chaos demons.
Yes. No one talks about how in every Elementary school there is a statistical percentage of how the students will turn out - some sociopaths, psychopaths, criminals, etc. Even from loving and stable family backgrounds, and privileged upbringings, children become adults; and statistically speaking, some adults will make bad choices or commit bad acts. Every parent isn’t doing the world a favour by having children, even when they are great at parenting. Of course the species needs procreation to continue, but even wonderful parents have brought serial killers into the world. Plenty of criminals were not abused or traumatized in earlier years (some were, but then not all abused and traumatized children become criminal as adults either).
Nearly 34 and have never wanted my own kids. People telling me, "oh you'll change your mind eventually" or asking "are you SURE you don't want kids?" is so old and irritating.
Brace yourself for a few more years of those annoying questions.... they only stopped for me when I got into what I called the 'too old to have kids' category.
Lol, I’m quickly approaching 40 and my mom is getting worried. I’m her only daughter and I catch her glancing at mother/daughter/grandkids shopping together. I just can’t help feeling put off by kids. I just don’t like them. 🙅🏻♀️ My younger years when maybe I would’ve considered dating were spent taking care of my sick dad and looking after her medical and mental needs. Now that she’s stable, she’s wondering why I haven’t married and had kids. I just want to be left alone and focus on myself.
I'm 40 and have never wanted my own children. I have 3 cats, 5 dogs, 6 chickens and a turkey. I've always had the thought that if I ever want a child, I'll adopt from a foster home.
As a 40 year old Millenial I just want to say THANK YOU for articulating something I've had to justify the majority of my adult life. I am a cis-gendered woman and if I had a nickle for every time I was flat out told by mean spirited people that I did not have a purpose because I know I don't want kids I'd have even more disposable income. 😂 ❤ you!
I just turned 44… my husband and I really never wanted children. We were completely happy with it just being us. But one day life had other plans for us and we found out I was pregnant when I was 28. Our son is now 15 and he is our favorite person in the world, but he is our only child. The universe wanted to give us something we didn’t know we wanted I guess. He isn’t an accident or mistake. He is a love I can’t even explain… but because I had one child never made me want any more than just him. I live in a state where having a bunch of kids in your early 20’s is the norm and the fact that I had only one in my late 20’s and never had anymore gets me strange looks and questions, I completely I understand how others feel who don’t have any at all. I have married friends that have chosen not to have kids and I think that’s amazing for them! I also have friends who have five kids that are all grown now and having babies of their own and I think that’s a beautiful thing as well. And then there’s my bestie who has two kids that are around the same age as my son and she and her husband are the same age as myself and my husband and it just wonderful having a bestie who understands how you feel living in this state of mass reproduction. I applaud you for standing by your wants and needs and living your best life!
My Oma once said I was cruel for not giving my mother grandchildren. I told her she raised me to make my own decisions on what’s right for me. My mom used to love the thought of grandkids and now she says she doesn’t have the energy for them.
As a mom of three boys, i 100% APPROVE this message. Shii, theres PLENTY of times that even i want to have a nice little dinner date without having any children around me. 😅 Does that mean i dont love my boys? Absolutely not.. but we're all humans and should be able to live the lives we choose, without judgemt. People who are mad about a child free establishment are morons, and truly need to grow tf up. Period 💜
I'm a mum too and I also don't see a problem with child-free establishments either. There are places that cater specifically for children (Chipmunks, Chuck e Cheese etc) so why can't there be places specifically for adults too.
@@astoldbyhash Exactly! And having dedicated child-free establishments means adults may be more accepting of children in other restaurants since they have other options for a child-free night if they don't like seeing kids around.
Parent here. There are places where it is just common sense to not take your child. Like a bar or a midnight horror movie show. The fact they allow dogs instead of kids shouldn't really be that strange. I don't take my daughter to a dog park for example. I usually take my child where I know other children will be so she can socialize. Being a parent is also knowing your life will change and some activities will be put on hold, like going out at night to have drinks or watching certain types of films in the living room. And that's fine. I want to enjoy this time when she's a child, because one day she will grow up and I know I will miss these days.
This is my local! The Red Lion in St Albans. Can confirm that it's a fantastic cosy pub with the loveliest staff who adore dogs and I love it. I can't believe the reaction the sign has gotten! I've always thought it's brilliant and bold, personally I enjoy going to a child-free pub with gorgeous dogs everywhere. Support the Red Lion ❤
What I've come to understand is that people who get mad that other people for not wanting kids, have no real sense of self. Those people tend to have decided their children are their only cause to exist and either envy or inexplicably hate anyone who has found contentment in other milestones. Plus there are too many children in awful environments due to being born to parents who didn't have them by choice or otherwise were ill-equipped. I think people who chose to be parents don't fully consider that as an issue caused by forced parenthood.
Literally any time someone is upset other people choose to be child free, it's because they resent having kids and/or are hyper religious. Either way it's insane. I love my kids more than I can put into words but I also know what it's like being raised by someone who did not want kids. And THAT is the real issue
True, the people who are sincerely gobsmacked that I get called selfish or without purpose are always happy parents with a good sense of self who don't care at all whether I procreate or not.
I’m a boomer. Widowed 3 X, and childless. My own parents were wonderful, I just didn’t long to be one. Now, as matriarch of my family, being the favorite Auntie of all my nieces & nephews is enough. No one needs to take care of Auntie Mahem. She brings the fun. 😊❤ I agree with everything Robert said. Let everyone go to hell the way they want to.
I work in assisted living and have had quite a few residents who were child free, either by choice or by circumstance. Many of them have rich social lives, going out with friends, visiting with nieces, nephews, or children of friends that come to visit, and doing volunteer work. I've also had quite a few residents who spend much of their time alone because their children live across the country and aren't able to visit often, or have kids who don't visit either because they've basically gone no contact with their parents or because their kids are just a-holes who don't care. When people say that they don't want to have kids, believe them! Maybe they would have been great parents, or maybe they would have been terrible parents, and maybe it's best we never find out!😅
I'm a gen z (2002) and I've always disliked children. Now, I have a womb and apparently other people know more about me than I know about myself. I've always heard "you'll change your mind when your older!" or sometimes even "I was just like you when I was your age, but I changed my mind!" BS. The truth is, the older I'm getting, the more I don't want kids. I took care of my 8 years old cousin for 3 days and I've never been so miserable. I have a sever case of tokophobia (excessive fear of pregnancy and childbirth) and if I get pregnant, there is a high chance that I'll do unspeakable things to myself. Plus, I have sever body image issues, and the thought of not looking the same anymore gives me severe anxiety. I have anger management issues and lose my temper quickly (fortunately it's not as bad as it was before). On the other hand, partners can be unsupportive too, they may unload most , if not all the responsibility to me. There is another problem that society sees us as nothing but a vessel to pop out babies and nothing more. I worked hard for who I am and my status in society and if I become a mom, I feel like all my identity will be stripped away from me and I'll be boiled down to just a mom, not a scientist AND a mom, as if all the other things I've done doesn't matter anymore, as if my hobbies doesn't matter. The point is, people need to mind their own business. If someone decides to be childfree, they have a valid reason for it. Parenthood is not for everyone.
Hey! I'm a year younger than you and I too feel the same way. I don't like children and think babies are kind of gross. I also have a fear of pregnancy and childbirth and I have health anxiety, and being a sex averse asexual, being a mother is never going to happen for me. I'm much happier being a cat parent! Luckily I've never had comments from anyone about wanting to be childfree.
@@anonymousperson2839 lucky. I've heard it all the time... I'm a plant parent and I love my flowers and cactuses, but I'd love to have two dogs and a cat one day.
Good for you. Parenting is not for the faint of heart and I really commend women that know that they don’t want children (for any reason) and stick to it! I don’t like anyone that tells people what they think they actually want when it comes to having children 😢 not to mention those that may very well want children but actually can’t or are struggling. It’s just rude and unnecessary for people to stick their nose in 👎🏼 live and let live 🫶🏼
I'm a couple years older (1998) and I also don't want children. Knew about it from when I was a child myself. Not for me, I just learn to be with myself and survive in this world. I need a career and stability, and kids won't add to that, but take away some. (Plus from where I'm from in my social circle I had like 1 or 2 people who were great partners and parents, others are really terrible and it painted me the picture of larger demographic and made me want kids even less)
I have two dogs, two cats, two children, and a husband and I can tell you any child free place isn't just for people who choose not to have kids but also for parents who need some time away from their children. I'm all for child free places.
It’s so weird to me when people with child-aged offspring say they look forward to their children making them into grandparents. You’re having kids to have grandkids? Work harder at not messing up the kids you currently have instead of pining after hypothetical grandchildren.
I am childfree and I like kids, as long as I can give them back. My issue with parents and kids in public is when kids are acting out of pocket (screaming, running around, making messes, etc) and the parents don't do anything. Some parents get into a retail establishment and think its free range kid time, expecting store employees to babysit. I worked in a store that had a small selection of toys and parents would bring in their kids and drop them off in that area and just wander off to shop. Once upon a time I worked in a gamestop for a christmas season and it was super common for parents to drop their kids off like the store was a daycare. That's my issue with parents, a lot of them just don't parent.
As a mom of 3 wonderful beautiful children I FULLY support child free places. On the few and far between occasions where my husband and I get a break for a date night it would be great to go some place with only adults. I love kids in general always have but they can loud, crazy, and exhausting. So there is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting that in your establishment. Feel the same about child free weddings. The kid doesn't wanna be there anyway. They wanna be home watching other kids open toys on youtube.
There's a million and one places to go that accept children like what is the issue with keeping adult- only spaces that are more than just bars? And I love the idea of child free weddings as long as the bride understands that not everyone will be able to get childcare to attend. A bit of a tangent but my cousin got married last year and opted for a child free wedding. I politely declined as dad and I do not leave our kids with sitters. She was SO upset. Not like a "im so sad you won't make it" no, she asked me to reconsider multiple times and then told me I was being inconsiderate because she sent my invite extra early so I could plan ahead. Unfortunately that put a big rift between us
I have a teen son… even he hates going anywhere that has out of control children. Mind you, he was young once himself, but he is always like “if I acted like anywhere, you would have taken me home and talked the whole car ride about how we are supposed to act in public and then made me go clean my room when got back to the house.” And he is right. If he wanted to be out and about and have fun, he had to be respectful, still does. He is a good kid and raised with manners. I was raised in a military household and strict… I loosened up with him, but I still want him to grow up and be a good person. At this point I think I’m doing good because I can take him into Sephora and the only things he touches are the items I tell him to hold that I’m going to buy. 😂😂😂
My reproductive system is no one's business but my own! Why do people think it's ok to even ask? Could you imagine if I started asking people who have kids why they have kids? oh the offense! I am finally at an age where people stop asking why I don't have kids - thankfully!
I'm a mother of 3 and I would love to get away from my kids and others kids sometimes to have a drink or food in peace and quiet. That place seems like a godsend, honestly.
I’m 27, a full-time nanny, and I love kids. I think the greatest joy in the whole world is being loved by a child. I can’t wait to raise my own. HOWEVER- I know too many adults whose parents shouldn’t have been parents. We should all take advantage of the absolute luxury it is in the developed world to make the choice. I admire people for choosing NOT to have kids because they are not sure whether they want them. And hey, we can have a whole separate discussion on discipline and appropriate behavior in public, but you are not entitled to live your whole life without children. You’re part of this society and have to tolerate people you don’t like, just the same as being around other people’s kids. More child-free spaces? Dude, it’s a privilege to have any adult spaces at all, and SO MANY at that.
I am 55. I had 1 child. I have raised several rescue dogs. I did buy a home. I bought a home because when my husband retires, we won't be able to afford expensive rent. I think people should do what's best for them. I don't judge anyones choices. Do you.
It's weird to have a strong opinion about SOMEONE ELSE'S life either way. I don't want kids and my friends don't care. My friends have/want kids and that's great!
I have children, I have grandchildren, I also have 2 dogs. All of these things bring ME unspeakable joy!!! I often wonder if the people trying to shame others onto their “team” are really happy with their own life choices or are they making a desperate attempt to convince themselves that they are truly happy? I say do WHATEVER makes YOU happy. 😊
@@MisadventureMisty I feel your pain. After years of IBS-D I suffered a spinal injury that I have to take Morphine for pain relief. It has calmed down my D and given me the C. After trying all sorts of laxatives (great to make you move but whole wants a solid bowling ball moving through the eye of a needle?) I now take 4 softeners a day and eat veg, liquorice and popcorn to "help" move things along.
There are so many parents who should not have kids. When someone doesn’t want kids, I firmly believer that they are doing what is best for them. I’m a single mom of two teens and have been a single mom for 14 years and always had pets. It is challenging. We have to do what is best for us and accept others for doing what is best for them
So true 😢 the amount of true crime I see with poor babies being killed by their ‘parents’ is heartbreaking 💔 some people should definitely NOT have kids. So like you, I always just accept and commend those that know they don’t want them BEFORE bringing them into the world 🫶🏼 I’d never dream of asking or questioning anyones decision around children because it’s not always straight forward and there are plenty who would love nothing more but sadly it’s not happening right now for them 😢 empathy and understanding is all it takes, along with minding our own business 😊
I was at my county fair a few weeks back and saw a 3 year old by himself clearly lost and crying. Poor baby was so scared he hugged me and wouldn't let go. I stayed with him and my 2 kids while my husband went looking for help. Luckily he spotted a family nearby wearing the same shirts the little boy was wearing. The mom's reaction made my blood boil. She hadn't even noticed he was gone and then acted like it was just a regular fucking occurrence. She didn't even try to calm him down just dragged picked him up and went on her way. He looked so relieved when he saw her and she didn't even acknowledge his distress. And she had 3 more kids with her. It made me wanna take care of all those babies. I was inconsolable the rest of the night... I think about that little boy almost every day
@@mcd08 I am so sorry you and that little boy had to go through that. Women like that shouldn’t have the privilege/pleasure nor the ability to procreate (I’m trying to be nice). I can sense that this was a traumatic experience for you ❤️. I hope you were able to calm down and do something nice for yourself.
Everything you said in this video is like you took the words right out of my head. It's uncomfortable the lack of self-awareness parents can have about trying to force their own misery on other people. Like oh, well, I caved into the societal pressure of MarriedHaveKids because I didn't have the autonomy to realize i didn't have to do that, and because I just blindly said yes so must you. If I had a nickel for every time a parent bitched and cried about having to raise a kid, then turned around and tell me I should have one, I'd have a significant amount of money but still not a fraction of what it costs to raise a kid.
As someone who has worked with aged care, people really really don’t understand how many elderly people spend their last years alone and die alone, lucky if their family visits a few times a year or at all. Having kids is not guarantee your twilight years will be full of family and love.
I wish this was more wide spread in your generation. My parents are 64 and have spent the past 15 years resenting that I don't want kids and pushing me to have them, while bashing the fact I have a cat that I care for "too much". Listening to some of these millennials really feels like listening to my parents and their friends, aka regurgitating the stuff their own parents told them.
@mordecaiissad8529 more and more of us are coming around, we simply must DEMAND change! We need to all learn to pay attention to ourselves and not on others.
@mordecaiissad8529 Well there's a difference. I don't care whether other people have kids. I would be disappointed if I didn't have grandchildren though.
My friend got sterilised at age 21 because she was determined she never wanted children. She is now 55 and has never once regretted her decision. People should concentrate more on their own lives and less on what others are doing.
I'm 27f. Husband and I both got sick and ARE SICK of having the conversations and feeling like we have to explain why we dont want children, like.....my husband and I both just....dont. No malice, just a decision. People AND "FAMILY" absolutely assume the "typical" reasons. Now? We use malicious compliance to highlight the other possible side: how some women are UNABLE to for various health reasons, by spinning a medical condition I don't have and watch how fast the rude and intrusive people back-track and start the "Ohh I'm sorry for asking, please forgive me" You should be sorry. And we don't. Screw you. Like, some people without kids, MAY want them but can't HAVE them, yet people forget that possibility. Lol of course the ONLY reason people don't have kids is cuz they just hate them. 🙄 Imagine walking up to strangers and assuming you know their business. Now you're getting cursed out and blasted for not minding your own, congratulations 😂😂 Absolutely love you and James!!! 💜🖤💜🖤
I don’t believe that you should need to explain to anyone why you’ve chosen not to have children, just like people don’t have to explain why they want children. It’s up to you and your partner, nobody else.
My friend, now in her 50s, used to do the same. When people asked/were being weird she'd make a pensive sad face and say something among the lines of "we've been trying". They never even mentioned any specific health issue, just left it to the other people's imagination. They always freaked out and stopped asking.
I’ll say this: children and dogs are very similar in that they’re the reflection of who raised them and how they were raised. Some are very well behaved, some are absolute terrors. Whose fault is it?? The parents.
That is so untrue. I’ve known many families where one kid is an angel and the other horrible, with the same parenting. Also special needs kids often melt down no matter what you do.
Children are their own beings. Unlike dogs, who are arguably maleable all their lives, there is a point children do infact have their own personalities separate from their parents, their own beliefs separate from their parents and make their own CHOICES separate from their parents. Forcing a lack of accountability on those children, like you're attempting to do, so you can just blame the parents is exactly the problem in this world.
I love kids. I’m a professional nanny for over 14 years and raised many kiddos since birth. I have a 4 year old step son I’ve been in his life since he was 2. I really want children of my own but it’s been a struggle for us. That’s ME I also totally understand and respect the child free community! I get it! I also believe not everyone should be parents. If someone has a lot of trauma or just doesn’t feel like they would be a good parent chooses to not have a child I fully respect that instead of having a child because people tell them they have to have children.
They are making choices now that are affecting the rest of their lives. Many don't want marriage or kids. I heard they don't want to own a home and work at a Job a long time. I'm gen x And remembered telling my mom at 17 I wanted no kids.
Telling someone to off themselves because they don't wanna have children is completely INSANE. Like. Ma'am. Or Sir. I don't wanna have children so there's no risk of me passing my awful mental disorders to my kid or they'll be the ones offing themselves before turning 20 thank you very much 😭
I honestly would like to adopt someday, I've been thinking about two kids around the age of 5-6 since I was a teenager and I still think the same as an adult BUT I need to: Have enough money to give them comfortable lives, have a good and stable relationship with someone that thinks the same as me, have my mental health as good as possible and healthy ways to deal with life and ways to stable myself back if I ever get a mental breakdown - which is still in process and it's gonna take aaaaa whiiileeee for me to confidently say "I'm fine" and not only that but keep that "fine" for more than 2 days without completely losing it, and I wanna be sure I've done everything I wanted that having a child could impact negatively like hiking, camping, skydiving, street fighting, hunting a serial killer, going to jail for killing said serial killer, ghost hunting where maybe I'll find the ghost of the serial killer I killed, etcetera I could go on and on sorry for the rant lmao
I am 42 and don’t have kids. Ive known for much of my life that was something that was just never for me. I also work in child protective services. When some find out I don’t have kids, they get all freaked out and confused. Bottom line-I do love kids and protect them for a living, even putting myself in dangerous situations just to protect them. I just chose to have a life (my life, not yours) where it never felt right for me. Thank you for bringing this up Robert. Been frustrating for much of my life (especially 20s and 30s) getting scoffed at like I was scum of the earth or asked what was wrong with me for choosing not to have kids. I respect those that choose to and respect those who choose not to.
Thank you for working in protective services. It's a crazy hard job and very misunderstood by the public. Putting your safety on the line on behalf of strangers is huge deal. I hope you are well supported and take care of yourself.
The sad part is, it is probably safe to assume that your job often consists of saving kids from their own parents. And somehow, people will still think you’re somehow less qualified than all parents by default. Meanwhile, you’re out here doing the job that these kids’ own parents have been failing at this whole time.
Being called out whether or not you are a parent is ridiculous. As a boomer from forward thinking families, parenting is a choice. Each generation tries to parent better than the last; be it waiting longer, career choices., improving life/financial, etc. There have always been childless people. There is nothing wrong with these choices. It is personaĺ, it is private and it can change. To each, his own. Myob. Have a lovely day. 😊
They can go literally anywhere else 😂. I worked with two people who were talking one day about how sad it was that our older clients with complex mental illnesses, didn’t have children. ‘They don’t have anyone to take care of them’. ‘Having children is my greatest achievement’. I wanted to turn around & say ‘do you not think surviving a complex mental illness their whole life is not equally, if not more of an achievement?’. I also always think that people who believe they are entitled to their kids taking care of them when they’re old, are the same people who’s kids will not want to take care of them when they’re old 😅. A lot of kids are great as individuals, the same as adults. I’m not having kids because I know that I am not healed enough to not pass on my generational trauma 🤷🏻♀️. Not having kids can very much be the responsible choice. If we cannot raise them right for whatever reason, it’s better to not have them.
As someone who wants children but currently not in a position to have any and may never be able to, it’s very upsetting to hear that my only purpose in life is to have children…
This is crazy to me. I have wanted kids since i was 17. My best friend was NEVER fond of kids or babies. We have been best friends since SHE was 17 and i was 18. It has been 11 years strong now❤❤ Never would judge her and she would never judge me.🥰 We uplift and encourage each other's lifestyles.
@@the.office.alliance4736 how tf is that creepy??? and also, not a girl, thanks! i am aroace as well; kids are the last thing i will ever want in this life. sorry you can’t find happiness outside of being a parent or whatever…
As a 39 year old married woman that wishes to remain child-free by choice....I honestly think all the hate comes from parents that are secretly jealous of child-free people and so they double down on put downs to justify their decision in their own mind. Most of my friends have children, and I don't give them a hard time at all. But I also don't want to have to be around the children if I can help it 😂
It's up to the individual! As a childless person, asking someone why they don't have kids is NOT OK. Some people women aren't ABLE to have kids for a myriad of reasons. It can be a hurtful question, and it's NOT YOUR BUSINESS. Let people live. 🙄
Yea thank you! I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to see this. I always feel like people forget about women who cannot have kids. I have a myriad of health issues that will make this impossible for me from any avenue, but in a different life if I was given a different hand I would have loved to be a mom
When you realise you do not want to raise a child, you are doing a service to the world. Our niece married a gorgeous husband, and they decided against children. We applaud their preference and wish we had more people like them.
The problem isnt whether or not ppl want or dont want children. Its when people make that their whole personality. Just because something works for you doesn't mean it works for everyone else
Fellow Gen X’er I’m mother to a chihuahua and that’s enough for me. I don’t hate kids. I’ve been a child minder and fostered about 80 young people. I think I’ve done my bit looking after children that others couldn’t or wouldn’t.
I have a child and a grandchild. Love them, adore them, wouldn’t trade having them for anything that could be imagined. The idea that they are the only thing that give my life purpose is baffling. In fact, there was a time when my daughter was a toddler and my whole life revolved around parenting her and that was probably the deepest depression I’ve ever been in feeling like I had no other tether to life than being a parent. Having a child should absolutely be a personal choice and as a survivor of ab*se, I highly encourage anyone who doesn’t want kids to please please please NEVER have kids.
As someone who’s worked with shelter dogs before and has worked with sick children the last ten years I have pretty strong opinions on this. Firstly I just have to put out there that not all people should have either dogs or children, there are neglected children and dogs everywhere. I have never wanted children of my own, mostly because I’ve struggled with my mental health my whole life and sometimes I can barely take care of myself, to bring a child into the world when I barley manage myself would be incredibly selfish of me. We have to remember that no child has asked to be born, and if we bring a child into the world we have to be sure that we are doing absolutely anything in our power to keep that child safe, happy and healthy. Your child doesn’t owe you anything and if you don’t treat them right they have the right to decide to not have you in their life. Just because I don’t want kids of my own doesn’t make me hate them. I work with kids, and I see kids fight for their life everyday and they are incredible. I also have a niece that I would drop absolutely everything for in a second. But sometimes I don’t really feel like being around kids. About dogs on the other hand, I feel similar. If you can’t take care of that dog, you should not own one. I’ve seen dogs thrown onto the street, dogs that had the chip cut out of them so that the owner won’t be found and so on. It’s heartbreaking. I feel strongly that if you know that you are not able to take care of a child or a dog (or any life that you bring into your life) you should absolutely not bring a living, feeling and dependent creature into your life. It’s more important to make the world a better and safer place for the ones that already exist.
Momma of 2 here. I don't get people who hate on those who hate child-free people. I don't get people who hate on parents. Just leave each other alone and live your life. Literally no one cares that you hate kids, or that you hate/are jealous of child-free people. Also, I love dogs but I wouldn't own one because they're more work than a cat. But I do miss having that unconditional love that my cat won't give me lol
Even when you have a child, people judge you for having only one! “They need a sibling” “you’ll change your mind later” FULL STOP NO 😂 I’m fine with my one baby girl and 3 cats lol
I think it's also important to note the fact that some parents struggle with infertility. And with time, perhaps they will eventually grow to accept that they may not be able to have children of their own. Because this is an extremely sensitive topic, most would simply prefer sharing about being happy child-free, rather than having to explain over-and-over again about why they don't have children. And if they already say they are happy, no one should ever doubt that they can feel happy while being childless. In summary, people should just mind their own damn business!
I have so much to say!!! (1) It's so funny to me that parents feel that there should be places exclusive for families and family friendly entertainment but when adult only places exist... they lose their minds. The response to this Tweet reminds me of the girl that tweeted there should be adult exclusive flights offered by airlines for people who want to travel childfree and parents lost their minds as if people having access to things exclusively for them meant they would lose access to things that have always been available to them. (2) Children do not give your life purpose. If you only have purpose after having children then you never had purpose in the first place. Your children will go on to live their own lives meaning the season where you are an "active" parent (I know parents are always parents BUT your kids won't always needs you and they will figure out things for themselves and build their own lives outside of you) will end and what then? Do you return to being an aimless purposeless being? Find purpose in yourself, not others. It's also weird that I most often see men and women alike project this narrative on women specifically but you (for the most part/ speaking from a heteronormative position) need a man and woman to procreate so why aren't these opinions ever levied against men? (3) Outside of a lot of millennials have difficult childhoods themselves -- a lot of us have seen our parents identity and value become entangled in our existence. Meaning most of us could never exist as who we were and what we wanted to be because our parents were living through us. Every thing they never had, every opportunity they did not receive -- when we chose different, when we desired something else, we were made to feel guilty and ungrateful and so many us of are fearful that is now engrained in our DNA and we'll become parents like our own which is the worst. Or even worse than that, we could become contrarians who are so obsessed with not being like our parents that we end of making our own children worse off by being the complete opposite (i.e. like people with authoritarian parents often times become passive parents). (4) Millennials in a LOT of ways are more irresponsible but in other ways are more responsible. Rather than having kids we can't afford in an unsafe and vile world where we guilt them (much like our parents guilted us - sacrifices, lost dreams, forgotten ambitions and such), we're doing the smart, responsible and honorable thing of NOT HAVING F**K*N KIDS! (5) Everyone needs to mind their damn business and let people exist the way the choose (but definitely not p*d*s, r**ists and ab**ers -- they should be shunned and all burn in the depths of hell., respectfully).
I'm so glad that I'm 50 and no one bugs me anymore about having kids. I've heard so many of those arguments/insults. Some to my face. Some from strangers 🙄
I'm 49 and still get bugged about it, though now it's more likely to be men who still want kids and can't understand why I wouldn't want to carry their spawn. No matter that I try to explain I doubt I could anymore, even if I wanted to. (Seriously, I took biology, why didn't you??)
As someone with 2 kids, I wouldnt mind a business that is kid-free! I would get a babysitter and probably visit! Also, I was in a restaurant where a child's diaper literally OVER-FLOWED. He was sitting in a high chair and it just kept squishing out the waistband of his pants. The stench filled the whole room we were eating in. HOW the parents didnt notice is beyond me! I can see why someone wouldnt want to have an experience like that 😳
I loved this. And adored your laugh after saying ‘people aren’t depressed because they don’t have children’. Yes! Obviously it’s different for those who wanted to and can’t… but for those who are happily childfree, it’s part of our happiness ❤
In my opinion, parents who have children just to have someone to take care of them or to have grandchildren when they are old are selfish and stupid. There is no guarantee that your child will take care of you. What if they decide to move far away? What if your children do not want to have children? These type of parents don't understand that their child doesn't owe them anything. This argument always makes my blood boil when people bring it up in discussions lol.
Considering Europeans were colonizers, Americans were slave owners, the same church people who claimed to care about people were also the ones causing harm, I don't think empathy was ever a thing.
@@papertape7911 It was always a thing, it's just that on large scales, our leadership systems tend to favour people that lack empathy (because they'll do whatever it takes to make it to the top, regardless of ethics). Then the people at the top influence people below them. People don't like to believe it, but most humans stick to the status quo. That applies both to bad things, as well as good things. If we had more examples of good people, it would also influence us to be better. I think the media also plays a huge role here, since they tend to report mainly bad things and target specific demographics, people become so much more jaded and prejudiced than we would otherwise
I think cell phones started it. I'm Gen X and I have a cell phone but I'm not tethered to it. I don't rely on it to conversate with other people or to get to know them. The world has gone online for those things it seems. It's difficult to understand the human condition if we stay on our phones behind closed doors. Empathy does exist but we need to get out and spend time face to face with other humans.
@@cindyms.1237through my phone & the connections i've made to others with it, i have gained more empathy & intersections in my compassion by talking with so many different kinds of people & educating myself on the world. in "real life", i was neglected & surrounded by christians & conservatives who actively wished harm on the most vulnerable in our world. if i did not have access to the internet, idk who i would be, but more likely than not, i would be a much sadder, crueler person. obviously, not the case for everybody. i think in so many ways, the internet does expedite harm through hate campaigns, doxxing, etc etc. but it's not purely a tool for harm.
@@cindyms.1237I don’t think it’s cell phones. We’re just more connected and informed of literally everyone’s opinions. But to say the world used to be better is revisionist history. Being on your phone is not interesting to you but some people it is. I also don’t think the amount of empathy has changed. I think we’re just all in consciousness right now and able to comprehend the world sucks as much as it’s beautiful and awe inspiring. It’s easy to look backwards with rose colored glasses and harder to look forward with hope
I absolutely love these videos. Please keep them up. I actually laughed out loud during this one (who knew LOL is a thing). Thanks so much! I really love your content!
If people don’t want to raise children and choose not to have them, BRAVO! Choosing to not do something because it’s “expected” shouldn’t be put down. I have four children and there are days I question my sanity, but it’s rewarding to see them turn into loving, open-minded individuals.
I’m a mom…but also a wife and friend and woman…my children don’t define me, nor should they! I’m glad to know that people are recognizing they don’t want children…way too many people have children because they think they have to and not because they want them. People are just dumb to get upset about other people’s choices!?!?
I can definitely understand both sides. Of both the kids and dogs arguments. Life is freaking hard man. Just let people live and find what brings them happiness.
I was called "selfish" for not initially wanting children. Then, when I decided I wanted to have a child. I was called "selfish" once again when I waited until I was 30 to have a child. No one should be shamed for not wanting to have a child. Just because you have children, it doesn't mean everyone should or wants to. Even parents want child free spaces. We need a break from our kids. I have never understood people who think their kids should be brought everywhere they go. The last thing I want while I am getting a massage or a meal at a nice restaurant is to hear a kid pitching a fit.
My child-free friends make the best aunties! I think it’s important to have friends that are child free to help remind you that you were someone before your became a parent. When I had postpartum anxiety, my child free friends all had my back. Life is hard no matter what life you choose, we should just have everyone’s back.
Notice how when you ask people with children why they have them it’s always a selfish reason. It’s to uplift them and make them feel better. I find the people on that thread to be so sad. You don’t have a purpose outside of your kids? You don’t think that you’ll make sufficient and lasting relationships that will take you until you die without the forced bond of blood? Like are your kids your only friends? You don’t have a life outside of that? It’s so sad to see bc life is full of things that have purpose that aren’t starting a family. So they are just outing themselves as terrible, uninteresting people that you wouldn’t be around if you weren’t related to them. And that’s so sad. Just such a sad and negative mindset.
God I was asked that question once and was like deer in headlights. My twins were a "happy little accident" like Bob Ross says lol and I told the person that my kids were unplanned but im so happy they're here. They looked at me like I had two heads😂 kids weren't in my life plan, but they have taught me more than I could ever teach them. And I think something that so many parents don't understand is that your children are yours to keep safe and nurture until they're ready to go on their own and THATS IT. Your child does not belong to you, they belong to themselves for the world. The moment they are born it's just a countdown until they leave. And that's how it should be viewed. You don't put children in this world in hopes they'll stick around you forever.
Yes, I also always felt like it was very deterministic. So having kids is the only fulfilling thing but then you basically create new humans for them to also not have any use or fulfilment until they procreate. That seems like such a bleak view of life.
I am a dog owner and also have a 15 month old toddler. I don’t understand on either side why people can’t just do what they choose with THEIR life. It’s their life who cares! Both are precious and deserve to go out into the world without people having something negative to say. With that being said yes babies and dogs can’t and shouldn’t be allowed everywhere. I don’t understand why there’s so much hate.
As someone who teaches children, some of the children I teach don’t have support and understanding from their parents at all. Often these things get pushed towards teachers to take care of. A lot of parents don’t take having children seriously enough. It’s more damaging to judge people for not wanting children because children deserve a lot of love, care, and patience. A lot of adults don’t even have that for themselves. Telling someone to have kids when they don’t actually have the desire is so baffling. I’ve thought for a while about if I want kids and I still don’t know. Id like to be in a place where I can give as much love to them as possible if I were to have them. Especially because it’s a life in my hands.
I have 2 toddlers and am pregnant with a 3rd. So many ‘friends’ have said we are nuts and so many derogatory things. And it’s like… I’m not asking y’all to pay for these kids so what does it matter?
😂😂😂!! See 3-4 kids seems “normal” to me?? The way people speak to mums while pregnant and after is so insane to me. People are so involved for absolutely no reason
The outrage I received from ppl I barely know when I say I plan to adopt ... that no man will want to marry me... that it's selfish to deny my future husband the opportunity to pass down his family's name??? As if the adopted child doesn’t take their new parent’s name anyway. I want to pull my hair out
I'm a parent , was a nanny and have worked in a school with 4 and 5yr olds. I love children..children are great...however badly behaved children with no boundaries or discipline are vile!!! My children were brought to be polite, well behaved and never ran around having tantrums!! The phrase "hell is other people's children" is true!!! Unfortunately, some parents don't discipline their children, allow them to run around screaming, THEY are to blame!!! Same can be said of dog owners..but that's on them!!! There are good parents and good dog owners. I have no issue with people who want pets and not children...it's called CHOICE!! There's nothing wrong with not wanting either, either. I think you should be able to have child free spaces!!! I think there should be dog friendly places. Let's just get over ourselves and allow people to do whatever makes them happy..just don't bring your naughty vile brats into a restaurant where I'm going to!!! 😂😂😂 xxxxx
As someone who has a lovely child who I love very much and likes kids in general, I would still prefer to sit by a dog than a random child I don't know for a 9 hour flight. 😂 Seriously though, I totally agree it's so ridiculous how we are fighting each other about the kid/dog issue. People criticized me before I had my son (for not having one), now people criticize me for only having one... I'm not sure you can "win" this argument. If someone wants a child and wants to be a good parent, go for it! If you do not want to be a parent, don't be a parent. There are plenty of parents who don't like their kids all that much and don't want to put in the effort to give their children safe and loving lives. Being a parent does not make you a saint just like being child-free does not make you a demon. As for having dogs or kids in restaurants, I would say that if you have a well-behaved child or a well-behaved dog, I will welcome you with open arms into any restaurant I'm eating in. If your dog is snapping at people or barking incessantly, maybe find outdoor seating or take your food to go and eat at a park. If your child is throwing tantrums and being crazy, same. I think it's about being considerate to the people around you and recognizing that sometimes your child or dog can be a bit much and then you might need to excuse yourself for the benefit of other patrons. Great video, Robert! I love your hot takes and I always laugh when I watch your videos.
We are 3 minutes in and i have already laughed more than i have in a long time. you are so funny in the way you express yourself and not afraid to be politically incorrect in the best way. you are the kind of person you would want to hang out with- happy we all get a bit of you here on yt
I’m 33, I got married at 20 and had my two kids at 22 and 23. I have a cousin who is a year younger than me, she’s gorgeous, has a great career, and she’s a ton of fun. I cringe any time my older (boomer 😅) relatives ask her if she’s met anyone, does she want to get married, have kids, etc 😵💫 I try to change the subject but you know how that generation is when they get on a tangent lol. I never ask her about those personal things, instead we talk about her work, my kids, her hilarious cat Binx, trips we would like to take together, home decor, all kinds of things. I don’t know why some people think we all need to live the same life!
I didn’t want kids, changed my mind, had a kid that I love more than anything. I had a cat first that was my child that I loved more than anyone and I spent every last penny on his vet bills during college. And I still don’t care if people don’t want kids! Live your life. With kids or without. Single, not single. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, who cares. I wouldn’t have pets or children if I couldn’t afford it. No one should be shamed for not having kids if they 1. Can’t afford it or 2. Don’t want them.
If someone does not want kids, they shouldn't have them. Children should be wanted and cared for and loved.
Thank you! I have been saying this for years! If someone is only having kids because they feel pressured by society then that is the WRONG reason to have them!
Exactly! It’s when ppl who don’t want kids have them the more likely they will be neglected and mistreated. We already have enough abandoned and abused children in foster homes as it is.
Absolutely
Captain obvious
@@patty-pat-pat not as obvious as you would think. So many people say even if you don’t think you want kids you should have them because you’ll learn to love them, and you’ll regret not having them. Like, what if I regret having them?? Then what?
Owning dogs has shown me that children are not for me. The shaming people do needs to stop. To each their own.
Yes exactly
fr I was already not going to have kids, but having a high energy dog really solidified my opinion
Love my kids, love my crazy goldendoodle but good lord…I’d have so much more time/money/sleep without them. I’m kidding but it’s a huge reality of being a parent. I celebrate my friends that decide to be child-free as much as my friends that decide to have children. Those are decisions they’ve have made to live their best lives. I hate when parents are so nasty to people that are child-free or attack child-free spaces.
Omg this is literally me, i had no desire for kids and now with my elderly dog its solidified that decision
Why when dogs are nothing like kids? They are nothing alike. You don't have to have children, but at least don't dehumanize them by comparing them to dogs. Thats like comparing a special needs person or an elderly person to dogs. Just because a human being needs care, it doesn't make them a lesser human that is like a dog. A child has a rapidly developing brain and a complex psyche, and anything you do or don't do while raising them will affect countless people that your child interacts with throughout their 80+ years of life (future spouses, children, friends, coworkers, etc..). It's a massive responsibility, and the human brain is extremely complex. Especially if any of them end up being neurodivergent like two of mine are. But a dog? A dog does not have a complex psyche and they basically just live for a few years to eat and poop while keeping you company. There is no comparison.
I strongly believe that neither people who want children nor people who don’t want children owe anybody an explanation. Want kids? Good. Don’t want kids? Good. Period.
Don’t want kids, period, really made me laugh 😂
I firmly beleive if someone is hating you for choosing not to have children it's because they chose to have children and now they are secretly regretting it.
Saying “please don’t procreate” to an openly childfree person is giving Princess Bride “that word… I do not think you know what it means”
😂😂
Reminds me of a clip from a show where the aunt tells the niece to stay away from men (I forgot what the talk was about) and the niece, a grown ass butch lesbian woman, says "don't worry auntie, I will" while trying not to laugh. 😂😂
It’s almost like not procreating was the whole point of him posting the picture 😂
"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -Inigo Montoya
Some really shouldn’t just saying.
I have mad respect for people who do not want kids and take the appropriate measures to not have kids. There are so many unwanted kids with parents who don’t deserve them. I think not having kids if you don’t want them is incredibly responsible.
Right??? 🙌🏼
Yes this!! I have seen so many children with parents who didn’t want them and it’s always heartbreaking! I have a lot of respect for people who choose to not have children.
Thank you!!! This 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Exactly!!! 👏🏼💯🖤
You are describing me. Chronic ED and depression. What kind of monster should I be if I brought a human to my -life- hell just because "I wanna be a mom" or "who' s gonna take care of me in the future"??!!! 😱 I have renounced to my desire of being a dog mom because I' m fully conscious that I' m unable to offer the life they deserve (a schedule, cooking fresh food, walking and playing outside, socializing with other dogs,...). After a research with our trusty vet, she chose an old blind ferret for me making sure I could cover all her needs (it includes that the vet will come to my apartment in case _Miss Ferretti_ needs medical assistance while I' m suffering a crisis). *AND PEOPLE WHO KNOW MY CONDITION STILL KEEP TELLING ME THAT A BABY WOULD BE MY REDEMPTION* 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️... (Allegedly mentally sane people🙄).
I'm a childcare worker and it's my absolute dream job. Also, I'm child-free by choice.
Blows people's minds... 😂
Sorta similar here, was a teacher and still work with children, love working with them, adore my friends' kids. Never felt a strong drive to have one myself. 🤷♀️
Honestly, enriching the lives of many children seems more helpful to society than having one or two children of your own... who are likely going to be spending a lot of time in childcare/school
Children are ok in doses, not all the time.
I love kids, they don't judge, they (mostly) are the nicest people you'll meet, they come up with the most creative elaborate nonsense. But I *LOVE* that they go *back* to their parents. I *LOVE* that I don't have to deal with the situations where they eat turds, (kids eat literal shit, even their own).
Love kids, they are great.
But I will be giving them back to their parents, thank you.
I think child-free workers in child related industries are the BEST - the level of patience and empathy and consideration they give to children is Unlimited. I’m not saying parents can’t be talented in those job positions, but honestly they seem to run out of patience sooner than their non-parent colleague. Understandable because they never get a full break from childcare responsibilities to rest and recharge. I don’t dismiss the role a childfree adult plays in a child’s life - the younger generations benefit immensely from having adults who are childfree in their lives; their lives are enriched in ways that children whose circle of adults in their lives are all parents miss out on. Society at large benefits from both parents and childfree adults.
I never asked to be born, I'm not going to make someone else be born. I'll take care of my rescued dogs who also didn't ask to be born. The world is harsh.
Thanks for adopting, not shopping. 🙏🏾
100% I^m 44 with a husband and 2 cats! finaly someone who understand, idk why ppl never mention o even think about this, thx
it's wild to me that people care so much about other people's choices, like y'all just need to mind your business and let people live lmao
🎯👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
I guess in order to be better than everyone else you need to know what everyone else is doing? 😆 That's at least my theory.
Ikr!!!
Same! Like I literally don’t have enough time in my day to care this much about other peoples decisions 😂
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
5:33 - "let's farm some children"
My husband is one of 10 children. I'm convinced farming children is a real thing.
I like to call them litters. I have 2 kids which is hard enough. There's no way kids with a bunch more siblings are getting the attention they need.
Yep. My mom is one of 13, my grandfather was one of 16, grandmother was one of 17. It's 2024, let's not do this anymore.
My mom is one of 12 and the kind of running joke was that my grandparents didn't live on a farm and weren't Catholic, they just loved babies😅 Most other families at the time had lots of kids so they'd have help on the farm, like my dad, who is the oldest of 8 and grew up on a dairy farm with a father who probably should have chosen not to have kids...
@@shaunacorrigan9372 This is exactly why my family always had a ton of kids, yeah. Dairy farm.
It's a good way to get a TLC show 😂
These sentiments upset me so much. A lot of us are born unable to have children and give up after long, painful, exhausting and expensive fertility battles. Were we born without purpose? Should we un-alive ourselves as well? How utterly short sighted. Some people need to get over themselves!
Not being able to have children doesn't mean others should have to go out and want them or even agree that everyone should have them. I get that wanting a child is a powerful need many of us feel, but if you're feeling how you described then you have other issues going on as well that may need therapeutic interventions. Especially before you do have a child if it's in the cards for you. Your life should never be dependent on the existence of another being whether. That can create a whole bunch of problems with things like boundaries and over attachment if you don't get help for it.
Wait, what? I am agreeing with Robert here. I think it’s fairly clear I’m agreeing that it’s total BS to say your life only has meaning if you have kids.
People who have that view are idiots, is what I was saying. Because it means my life has no meaning, even though I do actually want kids.
@@cerinekoWhat you said was perfectly clear. I have no idea how Millenial Spinster took your words that way. You are absolutely right that people who say that "life is meaningless without children" are insulting both to people who are child free by choice and those who are unable to have children. Your life has meaning regardless of whether or not you have children.
As someone with literal insane parents, I believe that there are plenty of people on this planet who have no business having children lmao. Also, the same people who say “who is going to take care of you when you’re old?” Are the same parents whose adult children don’t call them because they were insufferable parental figures. LAWD have MERCY 💀
35 yes old, married , childfree, 3 dogs. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Sounds perfect!
Unconditional love. Always happy to see you. Always eats their food. Never told they hate you! ❤ That does sound wonderful too.🎉
@@Robert_Reacts Yeah I got my kitties, which is for the best...can't pass down the mental illnesses or all the cancer if you just adopt a pet!
goals
We're 41 and 44, 2 dogs, a cat, and going on a cruise in October 😅 i love my nephews though
I need to add a personal anecdote. I used to work with this woman in her late 50s who several times expressed how her only wish in life was to have kids. A colleague brought her bb to work once and that's literally all she talked about. She can't have children, so her life as a woman is thus incomplete. Nevermind the supposedly happy marriage, good career, health, friends and family. At one point I just had enough of it so i asked her if she ever considered adoption or foster care? She told me no because it wouldn't be the same. You dont want a child then, you just want to pass on your dna!
Good, adopted children suffer so much already. She doesn't sound emotionally invested in the genuine wellbeing of a complete being other than herself. They dodged a bullet. ❤
EXACTLY!
Couldn't she have just donated to an egg bank? Is that a thing? ☺️ Then her offspring would be out there living their lives, not having to be raised by her.
@@sheelfjohnsonI’ve donated eggs four times. It’s a thing in Australia.
To me, this is a part of why I'm against paid surrogacy. It's wealthy people exploiting poor women (there's a reason we never seen rich women doing surrogacy for strangers) because they really really just want to pass down their DNA.
As a child owning person… I openly congratulate anyone who has made the choice to not have any. I’m so proud of anyone who has made that choice and doesn’t feel pressured to make more humans when they truly don’t want to! ❤
As a parent you mean?
"child owning" 👀
It was a joke because Robert said it first, jokingly… 🙄
@@aliciagoveia7602 My apologies! ADHD strikes again; I missed the context from the video. I thought it was odd, because your comment was so sincerely supportive of common sense parenting; I should've put that together. So sorry.
[I have an intense urge to delete my comment and slink away out of sheer embarrassment, but I'm going to leave this for any of my ADHD brethren who might've also gotten distracted and missed the joke. It's me, your cautionary tale, makin an ass out of herself in the comments section.]
@@ohreally1997 neurodivergent Crew ✌🏻 no worries!!
Some parents need to be more honest about what it means to have a child. They tend to paint this perfect picture of parenthood, actively encourage others to procreate and act surprised/disappointed when someone choses to be child free. These are the same parents who purposely don't tell you the very real pregnancy/birthing horror stories and risks or the regret they feel when their children turn into little chaos demons.
The same type that lie about their perfect marriages also😂
Yes. No one talks about how in every Elementary school there is a statistical percentage of how the students will turn out - some sociopaths, psychopaths, criminals, etc. Even from loving and stable family backgrounds, and privileged upbringings, children become adults; and statistically speaking, some adults will make bad choices or commit bad acts. Every parent isn’t doing the world a favour by having children, even when they are great at parenting. Of course the species needs procreation to continue, but even wonderful parents have brought serial killers into the world. Plenty of criminals were not abused or traumatized in earlier years (some were, but then not all abused and traumatized children become criminal as adults either).
Nearly 34 and have never wanted my own kids. People telling me, "oh you'll change your mind eventually" or asking "are you SURE you don't want kids?" is so old and irritating.
Brace yourself for a few more years of those annoying questions.... they only stopped for me when I got into what I called the 'too old to have kids' category.
Lol, I’m quickly approaching 40 and my mom is getting worried. I’m her only daughter and I catch her glancing at mother/daughter/grandkids shopping together. I just can’t help feeling put off by kids. I just don’t like them. 🙅🏻♀️ My younger years when maybe I would’ve considered dating were spent taking care of my sick dad and looking after her medical and mental needs. Now that she’s stable, she’s wondering why I haven’t married and had kids. I just want to be left alone and focus on myself.
My mom didn't stop with those comments until after my mid-forties even tho I'd been serious about not wanting kids ever since I was 11 or 12.
In my 50s and going through the menopause was the BEST as it allowed me to say I was genuinely too old to have kids. Only now has the pressure abated.
I felt the same about kids all my life ...
I'm 40 and have never wanted my own children. I have 3 cats, 5 dogs, 6 chickens and a turkey. I've always had the thought that if I ever want a child, I'll adopt from a foster home.
dogs, cats and chickens 😮😊 awesome. I just have plants.
A turkey??? That's sick!
39 and have never wanted children either but my goals are to have all the animals like you do. :)
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻specifically about adoption as there are so many sad kids who need love and stable homes
You're my hero!
As a 40 year old Millenial I just want to say THANK YOU for articulating something I've had to justify the majority of my adult life. I am a cis-gendered woman and if I had a nickle for every time I was flat out told by mean spirited people that I did not have a purpose because I know I don't want kids I'd have even more disposable income. 😂 ❤ you!
I just turned 44… my husband and I really never wanted children. We were completely happy with it just being us. But one day life had other plans for us and we found out I was pregnant when I was 28. Our son is now 15 and he is our favorite person in the world, but he is our only child. The universe wanted to give us something we didn’t know we wanted I guess. He isn’t an accident or mistake. He is a love I can’t even explain… but because I had one child never made me want any more than just him. I live in a state where having a bunch of kids in your early 20’s is the norm and the fact that I had only one in my late 20’s and never had anymore gets me strange looks and questions, I completely I understand how others feel who don’t have any at all. I have married friends that have chosen not to have kids and I think that’s amazing for them! I also have friends who have five kids that are all grown now and having babies of their own and I think that’s a beautiful thing as well. And then there’s my bestie who has two kids that are around the same age as my son and she and her husband are the same age as myself and my husband and it just wonderful having a bestie who understands how you feel living in this state of mass reproduction. I applaud you for standing by your wants and needs and living your best life!
My Oma once said I was cruel for not giving my mother grandchildren. I told her she raised me to make my own decisions on what’s right for me. My mom used to love the thought of grandkids and now she says she doesn’t have the energy for them.
As a mom of three boys, i 100% APPROVE this message. Shii, theres PLENTY of times that even i want to have a nice little dinner date without having any children around me. 😅 Does that mean i dont love my boys? Absolutely not.. but we're all humans and should be able to live the lives we choose, without judgemt. People who are mad about a child free establishment are morons, and truly need to grow tf up. Period 💜
Agreed
@@ladyd562able 😊💜
I'm a mum too and I also don't see a problem with child-free establishments either. There are places that cater specifically for children (Chipmunks, Chuck e Cheese etc) so why can't there be places specifically for adults too.
@@astoldbyhash Exactly! And having dedicated child-free establishments means adults may be more accepting of children in other restaurants since they have other options for a child-free night if they don't like seeing kids around.
@@astoldbyhash exactly!!! Couldn't have said it better myself love!
Parent here. There are places where it is just common sense to not take your child. Like a bar or a midnight horror movie show. The fact they allow dogs instead of kids shouldn't really be that strange. I don't take my daughter to a dog park for example. I usually take my child where I know other children will be so she can socialize. Being a parent is also knowing your life will change and some activities will be put on hold, like going out at night to have drinks or watching certain types of films in the living room. And that's fine. I want to enjoy this time when she's a child, because one day she will grow up and I know I will miss these days.
You’d be surprised how many people bring their kids into bars! We’ve had people in our bar bring children in at 11/12 at night!
I completely agree, but the problem is that common sense is no longer common.
@@amandachesser6709 oh god lol, I shouldn't be surprised to read this but I am
“I could just lay in a room of puppies and pass away…A dream.” Same Robert, same. I would think I was already dead and in heaven ❤🐶🐾
This is my local! The Red Lion in St Albans. Can confirm that it's a fantastic cosy pub with the loveliest staff who adore dogs and I love it. I can't believe the reaction the sign has gotten! I've always thought it's brilliant and bold, personally I enjoy going to a child-free pub with gorgeous dogs everywhere. Support the Red Lion ❤
What I've come to understand is that people who get mad that other people for not wanting kids, have no real sense of self. Those people tend to have decided their children are their only cause to exist and either envy or inexplicably hate anyone who has found contentment in other milestones. Plus there are too many children in awful environments due to being born to parents who didn't have them by choice or otherwise were ill-equipped. I think people who chose to be parents don't fully consider that as an issue caused by forced parenthood.
Absolutely agree!
A hundred percent!
This is such a great point!!!!!
Literally any time someone is upset other people choose to be child free, it's because they resent having kids and/or are hyper religious. Either way it's insane. I love my kids more than I can put into words but I also know what it's like being raised by someone who did not want kids. And THAT is the real issue
True, the people who are sincerely gobsmacked that I get called selfish or without purpose are always happy parents with a good sense of self who don't care at all whether I procreate or not.
Child owning💀💀💀💀
👀
Parents 🤷🏽♀️
Aka my mom 👩 She would say this shit
i died lmfaooooo
Dehumanizing vulnerable human beings isn't funny or cute.
I’m a boomer. Widowed 3 X, and childless. My own parents were wonderful, I just didn’t long to be one. Now, as matriarch of my family, being the favorite Auntie of all my nieces & nephews is enough. No one needs to take care of Auntie Mahem. She brings the fun. 😊❤ I agree with everything Robert said. Let everyone go to hell the way they want to.
I work in assisted living and have had quite a few residents who were child free, either by choice or by circumstance. Many of them have rich social lives, going out with friends, visiting with nieces, nephews, or children of friends that come to visit, and doing volunteer work. I've also had quite a few residents who spend much of their time alone because their children live across the country and aren't able to visit often, or have kids who don't visit either because they've basically gone no contact with their parents or because their kids are just a-holes who don't care. When people say that they don't want to have kids, believe them! Maybe they would have been great parents, or maybe they would have been terrible parents, and maybe it's best we never find out!😅
I'm a gen z (2002) and I've always disliked children. Now, I have a womb and apparently other people know more about me than I know about myself. I've always heard "you'll change your mind when your older!" or sometimes even "I was just like you when I was your age, but I changed my mind!" BS. The truth is, the older I'm getting, the more I don't want kids. I took care of my 8 years old cousin for 3 days and I've never been so miserable. I have a sever case of tokophobia (excessive fear of pregnancy and childbirth) and if I get pregnant, there is a high chance that I'll do unspeakable things to myself. Plus, I have sever body image issues, and the thought of not looking the same anymore gives me severe anxiety. I have anger management issues and lose my temper quickly (fortunately it's not as bad as it was before). On the other hand, partners can be unsupportive too, they may unload most , if not all the responsibility to me. There is another problem that society sees us as nothing but a vessel to pop out babies and nothing more. I worked hard for who I am and my status in society and if I become a mom, I feel like all my identity will be stripped away from me and I'll be boiled down to just a mom, not a scientist AND a mom, as if all the other things I've done doesn't matter anymore, as if my hobbies doesn't matter.
The point is, people need to mind their own business. If someone decides to be childfree, they have a valid reason for it. Parenthood is not for everyone.
Hey! I'm a year younger than you and I too feel the same way. I don't like children and think babies are kind of gross. I also have a fear of pregnancy and childbirth and I have health anxiety, and being a sex averse asexual, being a mother is never going to happen for me. I'm much happier being a cat parent! Luckily I've never had comments from anyone about wanting to be childfree.
@@anonymousperson2839 lucky. I've heard it all the time... I'm a plant parent and I love my flowers and cactuses, but I'd love to have two dogs and a cat one day.
Totally agree with everything u said! I love the smell of no kids in the morning!
Good for you. Parenting is not for the faint of heart and I really commend women that know that they don’t want children (for any reason) and stick to it! I don’t like anyone that tells people what they think they actually want when it comes to having children 😢 not to mention those that may very well want children but actually can’t or are struggling. It’s just rude and unnecessary for people to stick their nose in 👎🏼 live and let live 🫶🏼
I'm a couple years older (1998) and I also don't want children. Knew about it from when I was a child myself. Not for me, I just learn to be with myself and survive in this world. I need a career and stability, and kids won't add to that, but take away some.
(Plus from where I'm from in my social circle I had like 1 or 2 people who were great partners and parents, others are really terrible and it painted me the picture of larger demographic and made me want kids even less)
I have two dogs, two cats, two children, and a husband and I can tell you any child free place isn't just for people who choose not to have kids but also for parents who need some time away from their children. I'm all for child free places.
It’s so weird to me when people with child-aged offspring say they look forward to their children making them into grandparents. You’re having kids to have grandkids? Work harder at not messing up the kids you currently have instead of pining after hypothetical grandchildren.
I am childfree and I like kids, as long as I can give them back. My issue with parents and kids in public is when kids are acting out of pocket (screaming, running around, making messes, etc) and the parents don't do anything. Some parents get into a retail establishment and think its free range kid time, expecting store employees to babysit. I worked in a store that had a small selection of toys and parents would bring in their kids and drop them off in that area and just wander off to shop. Once upon a time I worked in a gamestop for a christmas season and it was super common for parents to drop their kids off like the store was a daycare. That's my issue with parents, a lot of them just don't parent.
As a mom of 3 wonderful beautiful children I FULLY support child free places. On the few and far between occasions where my husband and I get a break for a date night it would be great to go some place with only adults. I love kids in general always have but they can loud, crazy, and exhausting. So there is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting that in your establishment. Feel the same about child free weddings. The kid doesn't wanna be there anyway. They wanna be home watching other kids open toys on youtube.
Mom of two, fully agree
There's a million and one places to go that accept children like what is the issue with keeping adult- only spaces that are more than just bars? And I love the idea of child free weddings as long as the bride understands that not everyone will be able to get childcare to attend.
A bit of a tangent but my cousin got married last year and opted for a child free wedding. I politely declined as dad and I do not leave our kids with sitters. She was SO upset. Not like a "im so sad you won't make it" no, she asked me to reconsider multiple times and then told me I was being inconsiderate because she sent my invite extra early so I could plan ahead. Unfortunately that put a big rift between us
I have a teen son… even he hates going anywhere that has out of control children. Mind you, he was young once himself, but he is always like “if I acted like anywhere, you would have taken me home and talked the whole car ride about how we are supposed to act in public and then made me go clean my room when got back to the house.” And he is right. If he wanted to be out and about and have fun, he had to be respectful, still does. He is a good kid and raised with manners. I was raised in a military household and strict… I loosened up with him, but I still want him to grow up and be a good person. At this point I think I’m doing good because I can take him into Sephora and the only things he touches are the items I tell him to hold that I’m going to buy. 😂😂😂
Yassssss! I get asked a lot why we don't have kids, but I don't get why it's so confusing that I just don't want kids!!
I don’t get why people ask that question. I’d be afraid to ask that and the person wants kids but can’t have them.
My reproductive system is no one's business but my own! Why do people think it's ok to even ask? Could you imagine if I started asking people who have kids why they have kids? oh the offense! I am finally at an age where people stop asking why I don't have kids - thankfully!
@Thistastesbad at what age does that happen? Asking for myself 😂
Some of those responses are 🤣🤯🤪🥸😒🥴☺️🙃🤭
I love the smell of no kids in the morning!
I'm a mother of 3 and I would love to get away from my kids and others kids sometimes to have a drink or food in peace and quiet. That place seems like a godsend, honestly.
I’m 27, a full-time nanny, and I love kids. I think the greatest joy in the whole world is being loved by a child. I can’t wait to raise my own. HOWEVER- I know too many adults whose parents shouldn’t have been parents. We should all take advantage of the absolute luxury it is in the developed world to make the choice. I admire people for choosing NOT to have kids because they are not sure whether they want them. And hey, we can have a whole separate discussion on discipline and appropriate behavior in public, but you are not entitled to live your whole life without children. You’re part of this society and have to tolerate people you don’t like, just the same as being around other people’s kids. More child-free spaces? Dude, it’s a privilege to have any adult spaces at all, and SO MANY at that.
I am 55. I had 1 child. I have raised several rescue dogs. I did buy a home. I bought a home because when my husband retires, we won't be able to afford expensive rent. I think people should do what's best for them. I don't judge anyones choices. Do you.
It's weird to have a strong opinion about SOMEONE ELSE'S life either way. I don't want kids and my friends don't care. My friends have/want kids and that's great!
It’s so weird that even strangers would care so much!
My gawd, it's like people take it personally if you don't want what _they_ want! 🤣
The eye-contact whilst sipping, " I hope you're regular" was STARTLING! 😂😂😂
I have children, I have grandchildren, I also have 2 dogs. All of these things bring ME unspeakable joy!!! I often wonder if the people trying to shame others onto their “team” are really happy with their own life choices or are they making a desperate attempt to convince themselves that they are truly happy? I say do WHATEVER makes YOU happy. 😊
“I hope you’re regular”. “ Do you know how much human skin is flying around?” DYING!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 💜💜💜💜💜 This is pure comedy gold…..
😛🖤🖤🖤
As a fellow IBS sufferer, I'm very often TOO regular!
@@hellsbells8689IBS-C and am I NEVER regular. I almost spat out my drink when he said that because I wish I was 😂
I' m literally tearing🥹. This is one of the best wishes that someone can have for me and it shows true affection. Happyintestiness is a treasure🖤🖤🖤
@@MisadventureMisty I feel your pain. After years of IBS-D I suffered a spinal injury that I have to take Morphine for pain relief. It has calmed down my D and given me the C. After trying all sorts of laxatives (great to make you move but whole wants a solid bowling ball moving through the eye of a needle?) I now take 4 softeners a day and eat veg, liquorice and popcorn to "help" move things along.
There are so many parents who should not have kids. When someone doesn’t want kids, I firmly believer that they are doing what is best for them. I’m a single mom of two teens and have been a single mom for 14 years and always had pets. It is challenging. We have to do what is best for us and accept others for doing what is best for them
Yassss! 🙌🏼
So true 😢 the amount of true crime I see with poor babies being killed by their ‘parents’ is heartbreaking 💔 some people should definitely NOT have kids. So like you, I always just accept and commend those that know they don’t want them BEFORE bringing them into the world 🫶🏼 I’d never dream of asking or questioning anyones decision around children because it’s not always straight forward and there are plenty who would love nothing more but sadly it’s not happening right now for them 😢 empathy and understanding is all it takes, along with minding our own business 😊
I was at my county fair a few weeks back and saw a 3 year old by himself clearly lost and crying. Poor baby was so scared he hugged me and wouldn't let go. I stayed with him and my 2 kids while my husband went looking for help. Luckily he spotted a family nearby wearing the same shirts the little boy was wearing. The mom's reaction made my blood boil. She hadn't even noticed he was gone and then acted like it was just a regular fucking occurrence. She didn't even try to calm him down just dragged picked him up and went on her way. He looked so relieved when he saw her and she didn't even acknowledge his distress. And she had 3 more kids with her. It made me wanna take care of all those babies. I was inconsolable the rest of the night... I think about that little boy almost every day
@@jesclifford88 you nailed it!❤️
@@mcd08 I am so sorry you and that little boy had to go through that. Women like that shouldn’t have the privilege/pleasure nor the ability to procreate (I’m trying to be nice). I can sense that this was a traumatic experience for you ❤️. I hope you were able to calm down and do something nice for yourself.
Everything you said in this video is like you took the words right out of my head. It's uncomfortable the lack of self-awareness parents can have about trying to force their own misery on other people. Like oh, well, I caved into the societal pressure of MarriedHaveKids because I didn't have the autonomy to realize i didn't have to do that, and because I just blindly said yes so must you.
If I had a nickel for every time a parent bitched and cried about having to raise a kid, then turned around and tell me I should have one, I'd have a significant amount of money but still not a fraction of what it costs to raise a kid.
As someone who has worked with aged care, people really really don’t understand how many elderly people spend their last years alone and die alone, lucky if their family visits a few times a year or at all. Having kids is not guarantee your twilight years will be full of family and love.
"I don't like broccoli I'd better end it all" 💀😂🥦
Such is life !
I feel this way about peas 😂
@@lilscenechick1995 I know peas are horrible but I swear life is still worth living 😭😂
Im 60. I'd like all of us to do our part to brack these old-fashioned ideals please!! We all get to do whatever the hell we want to do
I wish this was more wide spread in your generation. My parents are 64 and have spent the past 15 years resenting that I don't want kids and pushing me to have them, while bashing the fact I have a cat that I care for "too much". Listening to some of these millennials really feels like listening to my parents and their friends, aka regurgitating the stuff their own parents told them.
@mordecaiissad8529 more and more of us are coming around, we simply must DEMAND change! We need to all learn to pay attention to ourselves and not on others.
@@mordecaiissad8529- we can NEVER care for our cats too much!!! ❤
@mordecaiissad8529 Well there's a difference. I don't care whether other people have kids. I would be disappointed if I didn't have grandchildren though.
@@Kinikia95 I'd have to respect their decision even if it were difficult
My friend got sterilised at age 21 because she was determined she never wanted children. She is now 55 and has never once regretted her decision. People should concentrate more on their own lives and less on what others are doing.
People who want kids didn't have to take care of their siblings instead of having a normal childhood. Either way, live and let live.
I'm 27f. Husband and I both got sick and ARE SICK of having the conversations and feeling like we have to explain why we dont want children, like.....my husband and I both just....dont. No malice, just a decision. People AND "FAMILY" absolutely assume the "typical" reasons.
Now? We use malicious compliance to highlight the other possible side: how some women are UNABLE to for various health reasons, by spinning a medical condition I don't have and watch how fast the rude and intrusive people back-track and start the "Ohh I'm sorry for asking, please forgive me"
You should be sorry. And we don't. Screw you. Like, some people without kids, MAY want them but can't HAVE them, yet people forget that possibility. Lol of course the ONLY reason people don't have kids is cuz they just hate them. 🙄 Imagine walking up to strangers and assuming you know their business. Now you're getting cursed out and blasted for not minding your own, congratulations 😂😂 Absolutely love you and James!!! 💜🖤💜🖤
I love the smell of no kids in the morning!
I don’t believe that you should need to explain to anyone why you’ve chosen not to have children, just like people don’t have to explain why they want children. It’s up to you and your partner, nobody else.
My friend, now in her 50s, used to do the same. When people asked/were being weird she'd make a pensive sad face and say something among the lines of "we've been trying". They never even mentioned any specific health issue, just left it to the other people's imagination. They always freaked out and stopped asking.
I’ll say this: children and dogs are very similar in that they’re the reflection of who raised them and how they were raised. Some are very well behaved, some are absolute terrors. Whose fault is it?? The parents.
Exaaaaaactly!
That is so untrue. I’ve known many families where one kid is an angel and the other horrible, with the same parenting. Also special needs kids often melt down no matter what you do.
@@marlowilliams4264 its never the same parenting. Every living thing is shaped by individual experience.
Children are their own beings. Unlike dogs, who are arguably maleable all their lives, there is a point children do infact have their own personalities separate from their parents, their own beliefs separate from their parents and make their own CHOICES separate from their parents. Forcing a lack of accountability on those children, like you're attempting to do, so you can just blame the parents is exactly the problem in this world.
@@marlowilliams4264 Exactly! This opinion is entitled and sheltered.
It is so wild that some people were coming after the dude but it didn’t seem like many people stopped to consider he didn’t make that sign
I love kids. I’m a professional nanny for over 14 years and raised many kiddos since birth. I have a 4 year old step son I’ve been in his life since he was 2. I really want children of my own but it’s been a struggle for us. That’s ME I also totally understand and respect the child free community! I get it! I also believe not everyone should be parents. If someone has a lot of trauma or just doesn’t feel like they would be a good parent chooses to not have a child I fully respect that instead of having a child because people tell them they have to have children.
Gen Z is still soooo young. Why are we pressuring people to have babies IN THEIR 20'S???? like girl let me get through Uni at least 😩
Because that’ll give us more time to think and thinking is dangerous
Not even that the majority of us can barely even afford to take care of ourselves. How in gods name are we supposed to take care of a child.
They are making choices now that are affecting the rest of their lives. Many don't want marriage or kids. I heard they don't want to own a home and work at a Job a long time. I'm gen x And remembered telling my mom at 17 I wanted no kids.
I never wanted kids for as long as I can remember, very simple to understand
My son is the same. I stand by his decision.
Got head lice from a child in a pub once. Never got fleas from a dog in a pub.
Im a parent who was previously childfree, and let me tell you..one of the top reasons people dont want to have kids is OTHER PARENTS!
Telling someone to off themselves because they don't wanna have children is completely INSANE. Like. Ma'am. Or Sir. I don't wanna have children so there's no risk of me passing my awful mental disorders to my kid or they'll be the ones offing themselves before turning 20 thank you very much 😭
I honestly would like to adopt someday, I've been thinking about two kids around the age of 5-6 since I was a teenager and I still think the same as an adult BUT I need to: Have enough money to give them comfortable lives, have a good and stable relationship with someone that thinks the same as me, have my mental health as good as possible and healthy ways to deal with life and ways to stable myself back if I ever get a mental breakdown - which is still in process and it's gonna take aaaaa whiiileeee for me to confidently say "I'm fine" and not only that but keep that "fine" for more than 2 days without completely losing it, and I wanna be sure I've done everything I wanted that having a child could impact negatively like hiking, camping, skydiving, street fighting, hunting a serial killer, going to jail for killing said serial killer, ghost hunting where maybe I'll find the ghost of the serial killer I killed, etcetera I could go on and on sorry for the rant lmao
Those people are the ones who should not have had kids.
I am 42 and don’t have kids. Ive known for much of my life that was something that was just never for me.
I also work in child protective services. When some find out I don’t have kids, they get all freaked out and confused.
Bottom line-I do love kids and protect them for a living, even putting myself in dangerous situations just to protect them. I just chose to have a life (my life, not yours) where it never felt right for me.
Thank you for bringing this up Robert. Been frustrating for much of my life (especially 20s and 30s) getting scoffed at like I was scum of the earth or asked what was wrong with me for choosing not to have kids. I respect those that choose to and respect those who choose not to.
I love the smell of no kids in the morning!
Thank you for working in protective services. It's a crazy hard job and very misunderstood by the public. Putting your safety on the line on behalf of strangers is huge deal. I hope you are well supported and take care of yourself.
The sad part is, it is probably safe to assume that your job often consists of saving kids from their own parents. And somehow, people will still think you’re somehow less qualified than all parents by default. Meanwhile, you’re out here doing the job that these kids’ own parents have been failing at this whole time.
Being called out whether or not you are a parent is ridiculous. As a boomer from forward thinking families, parenting is a choice. Each generation tries to parent better than the last; be it waiting longer, career choices., improving life/financial, etc. There have always been childless people.
There is nothing wrong with these choices.
It is personaĺ, it is private and it can change.
To each, his own. Myob. Have a lovely day. 😊
They can go literally anywhere else 😂. I worked with two people who were talking one day about how sad it was that our older clients with complex mental illnesses, didn’t have children. ‘They don’t have anyone to take care of them’. ‘Having children is my greatest achievement’. I wanted to turn around & say ‘do you not think surviving a complex mental illness their whole life is not equally, if not more of an achievement?’.
I also always think that people who believe they are entitled to their kids taking care of them when they’re old, are the same people who’s kids will not want to take care of them when they’re old 😅.
A lot of kids are great as individuals, the same as adults. I’m not having kids because I know that I am not healed enough to not pass on my generational trauma 🤷🏻♀️. Not having kids can very much be the responsible choice. If we cannot raise them right for whatever reason, it’s better to not have them.
As someone who wants children but currently not in a position to have any and may never be able to, it’s very upsetting to hear that my only purpose in life is to have children…
THIS!
This is crazy to me. I have wanted kids since i was 17. My best friend was NEVER fond of kids or babies. We have been best friends since SHE was 17 and i was 18. It has been 11 years strong now❤❤ Never would judge her and she would never judge me.🥰 We uplift and encourage each other's lifestyles.
You make me laugh way too hard with your personality, Robert. Your silly voices and faces just do it for me😂❤
i’ve known since i was 12, absolutely certain by 14. i’m turning 21 this year and i still feel the exact same
@@wooogie672 What a lovely blessing to know what you want in life🎉❤
@@wooogie672I'm sorry but that is so creepy and I don't 100% believe that in the slightest. Clearly a very easily lead girl.
@@the.office.alliance4736 how tf is that creepy??? and also, not a girl, thanks! i am aroace as well; kids are the last thing i will ever want in this life. sorry you can’t find happiness outside of being a parent or whatever…
"Let's farm some children!" 😅😂
"I hope you're regular." Thank you, Robert!! You too. ❤
"How much human skin you're swallowing?!" Robert!! 😂💀
As a 39 year old married woman that wishes to remain child-free by choice....I honestly think all the hate comes from parents that are secretly jealous of child-free people and so they double down on put downs to justify their decision in their own mind. Most of my friends have children, and I don't give them a hard time at all. But I also don't want to have to be around the children if I can help it 😂
It's up to the individual! As a childless person, asking someone why they don't have kids is NOT OK. Some people women aren't ABLE to have kids for a myriad of reasons. It can be a hurtful question, and it's NOT YOUR BUSINESS. Let people live. 🙄
Yea thank you! I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to see this. I always feel like people forget about women who cannot have kids. I have a myriad of health issues that will make this impossible for me from any avenue, but in a different life if I was given a different hand I would have loved to be a mom
Childless at 53. Zero regrets.
When you realise you do not want to raise a child, you are doing a service to the world. Our niece married a gorgeous husband, and they decided against children. We applaud their preference and wish we had more people like them.
The problem isnt whether or not ppl want or dont want children. Its when people make that their whole personality. Just because something works for you doesn't mean it works for everyone else
Yessssss! Well said!
Gen X checking in. Happy for ppl with kids but no kids here, never wanted them.
Yep! I love the smell of no kids in the morning!
Fellow Gen X’er I’m mother to a chihuahua and that’s enough for me. I don’t hate kids. I’ve been a child minder and fostered about 80 young people. I think I’ve done my bit looking after children that others couldn’t or wouldn’t.
Yup, that regret still hasn't kicked in even though 50 is around the corner.
I have a child and a grandchild. Love them, adore them, wouldn’t trade having them for anything that could be imagined. The idea that they are the only thing that give my life purpose is baffling. In fact, there was a time when my daughter was a toddler and my whole life revolved around parenting her and that was probably the deepest depression I’ve ever been in feeling like I had no other tether to life than being a parent.
Having a child should absolutely be a personal choice and as a survivor of ab*se, I highly encourage anyone who doesn’t want kids to please please please NEVER have kids.
As someone who’s worked with shelter dogs before and has worked with sick children the last ten years I have pretty strong opinions on this.
Firstly I just have to put out there that not all people should have either dogs or children, there are neglected children and dogs everywhere.
I have never wanted children of my own, mostly because I’ve struggled with my mental health my whole life and sometimes I can barely take care of myself, to bring a child into the world when I barley manage myself would be incredibly selfish of me. We have to remember that no child has asked to be born, and if we bring a child into the world we have to be sure that we are doing absolutely anything in our power to keep that child safe, happy and healthy. Your child doesn’t owe you anything and if you don’t treat them right they have the right to decide to not have you in their life.
Just because I don’t want kids of my own doesn’t make me hate them. I work with kids, and I see kids fight for their life everyday and they are incredible. I also have a niece that I would drop absolutely everything for in a second.
But sometimes I don’t really feel like being around kids.
About dogs on the other hand, I feel similar. If you can’t take care of that dog, you should not own one. I’ve seen dogs thrown onto the street, dogs that had the chip cut out of them so that the owner won’t be found and so on. It’s heartbreaking.
I feel strongly that if you know that you are not able to take care of a child or a dog (or any life that you bring into your life) you should absolutely not bring a living, feeling and dependent creature into your life.
It’s more important to make the world a better and safer place for the ones that already exist.
Momma of 2 here. I don't get people who hate on those who hate child-free people. I don't get people who hate on parents. Just leave each other alone and live your life. Literally no one cares that you hate kids, or that you hate/are jealous of child-free people. Also, I love dogs but I wouldn't own one because they're more work than a cat. But I do miss having that unconditional love that my cat won't give me lol
😂😂😂 cats are eviiiiil and cute at the same time
Cats have humans as pets let’s face it they are in charge 😂
@@Robert_Reacts Yes, I'm jealous of all the cat videos where felines snuggle and love their humans. My cat is not that lmao
I am fortunate to have found lovey, needy cats! Lol
@@seekingvision Mine is, I still chase mine around begging to be loved lol
Even when you have a child, people judge you for having only one! “They need a sibling” “you’ll change your mind later” FULL STOP NO 😂
I’m fine with my one baby girl and 3 cats lol
Yessss!!
So true! I'm an only child and I never wanted siblings, nor did I feel alone. My parents were fine with just having one baby.
Thank you so much for talking about this! I feel like more people need too!
I think it's also important to note the fact that some parents struggle with infertility. And with time, perhaps they will eventually grow to accept that they may not be able to have children of their own. Because this is an extremely sensitive topic, most would simply prefer sharing about being happy child-free, rather than having to explain over-and-over again about why they don't have children. And if they already say they are happy, no one should ever doubt that they can feel happy while being childless. In summary, people should just mind their own damn business!
I have so much to say!!!
(1) It's so funny to me that parents feel that there should be places exclusive for families and family friendly entertainment but when adult only places exist... they lose their minds.
The response to this Tweet reminds me of the girl that tweeted there should be adult exclusive flights offered by airlines for people who want to travel childfree and parents lost their minds as if people having access to things exclusively for them meant they would lose access to things that have always been available to them.
(2) Children do not give your life purpose. If you only have purpose after having children then you never had purpose in the first place. Your children will go on to live their own lives meaning the season where you are an "active" parent (I know parents are always parents BUT your kids won't always needs you and they will figure out things for themselves and build their own lives outside of you) will end and what then? Do you return to being an aimless purposeless being? Find purpose in yourself, not others. It's also weird that I most often see men and women alike project this narrative on women specifically but you (for the most part/ speaking from a heteronormative position) need a man and woman to procreate so why aren't these opinions ever levied against men?
(3) Outside of a lot of millennials have difficult childhoods themselves -- a lot of us have seen our parents identity and value become entangled in our existence. Meaning most of us could never exist as who we were and what we wanted to be because our parents were living through us. Every thing they never had, every opportunity they did not receive -- when we chose different, when we desired something else, we were made to feel guilty and ungrateful and so many us of are fearful that is now engrained in our DNA and we'll become parents like our own which is the worst. Or even worse than that, we could become contrarians who are so obsessed with not being like our parents that we end of making our own children worse off by being the complete opposite (i.e. like people with authoritarian parents often times become passive parents).
(4) Millennials in a LOT of ways are more irresponsible but in other ways are more responsible. Rather than having kids we can't afford in an unsafe and vile world where we guilt them (much like our parents guilted us - sacrifices, lost dreams, forgotten ambitions and such), we're doing the smart, responsible and honorable thing of NOT HAVING F**K*N KIDS!
(5) Everyone needs to mind their damn business and let people exist the way the choose (but definitely not p*d*s, r**ists and ab**ers -- they should be shunned and all burn in the depths of hell., respectfully).
I'm so glad that I'm 50 and no one bugs me anymore about having kids. I've heard so many of those arguments/insults. Some to my face. Some from strangers 🙄
I’m sorry you had to go through that, your body your choice
I'm 49 and still get bugged about it, though now it's more likely to be men who still want kids and can't understand why I wouldn't want to carry their spawn. No matter that I try to explain I doubt I could anymore, even if I wanted to. (Seriously, I took biology, why didn't you??)
As someone with 2 kids, I wouldnt mind a business that is kid-free! I would get a babysitter and probably visit! Also, I was in a restaurant where a child's diaper literally OVER-FLOWED. He was sitting in a high chair and it just kept squishing out the waistband of his pants. The stench filled the whole room we were eating in. HOW the parents didnt notice is beyond me! I can see why someone wouldnt want to have an experience like that 😳
I loved this. And adored your laugh after saying ‘people aren’t depressed because they don’t have children’. Yes! Obviously it’s different for those who wanted to and can’t… but for those who are happily childfree, it’s part of our happiness ❤
In my opinion, parents who have children just to have someone to take care of them or to have grandchildren when they are old are selfish and stupid. There is no guarantee that your child will take care of you. What if they decide to move far away? What if your children do not want to have children? These type of parents don't understand that their child doesn't owe them anything. This argument always makes my blood boil when people bring it up in discussions lol.
Yassss! 🙌🏼
I don't think that empathy is as much of a thing as it used to be if it ever used to be.
Considering Europeans were colonizers, Americans were slave owners, the same church people who claimed to care about people were also the ones causing harm, I don't think empathy was ever a thing.
@@papertape7911 It was always a thing, it's just that on large scales, our leadership systems tend to favour people that lack empathy (because they'll do whatever it takes to make it to the top, regardless of ethics). Then the people at the top influence people below them.
People don't like to believe it, but most humans stick to the status quo. That applies both to bad things, as well as good things. If we had more examples of good people, it would also influence us to be better.
I think the media also plays a huge role here, since they tend to report mainly bad things and target specific demographics, people become so much more jaded and prejudiced than we would otherwise
I think cell phones started it. I'm Gen X and I have a cell phone but I'm not tethered to it. I don't rely on it to conversate with other people or to get to know them. The world has gone online for those things it seems. It's difficult to understand the human condition if we stay on our phones behind closed doors. Empathy does exist but we need to get out and spend time face to face with other humans.
@@cindyms.1237through my phone & the connections i've made to others with it, i have gained more empathy & intersections in my compassion by talking with so many different kinds of people & educating myself on the world. in "real life", i was neglected & surrounded by christians & conservatives who actively wished harm on the most vulnerable in our world. if i did not have access to the internet, idk who i would be, but more likely than not, i would be a much sadder, crueler person.
obviously, not the case for everybody. i think in so many ways, the internet does expedite harm through hate campaigns, doxxing, etc etc. but it's not purely a tool for harm.
@@cindyms.1237I don’t think it’s cell phones. We’re just more connected and informed of literally everyone’s opinions. But to say the world used to be better is revisionist history. Being on your phone is not interesting to you but some people it is. I also don’t think the amount of empathy has changed. I think we’re just all in consciousness right now and able to comprehend the world sucks as much as it’s beautiful and awe inspiring. It’s easy to look backwards with rose colored glasses and harder to look forward with hope
I absolutely love these videos. Please keep them up. I actually laughed out loud during this one (who knew LOL is a thing). Thanks so much! I really love your content!
If people don’t want to raise children and choose not to have them, BRAVO! Choosing to not do something because it’s “expected” shouldn’t be put down.
I have four children and there are days I question my sanity, but it’s rewarding to see them turn into loving, open-minded individuals.
I’m a mom…but also a wife and friend and woman…my children don’t define me, nor should they! I’m glad to know that people are recognizing they don’t want children…way too many people have children because they think they have to and not because they want them. People are just dumb to get upset about other people’s choices!?!?
A hundred percent!
I can definitely understand both sides. Of both the kids and dogs arguments. Life is freaking hard man. Just let people live and find what brings them happiness.
Exactly this!
I was called "selfish" for not initially wanting children. Then, when I decided I wanted to have a child. I was called "selfish" once again when I waited until I was 30 to have a child. No one should be shamed for not wanting to have a child. Just because you have children, it doesn't mean everyone should or wants to. Even parents want child free spaces. We need a break from our kids. I have never understood people who think their kids should be brought everywhere they go. The last thing I want while I am getting a massage or a meal at a nice restaurant is to hear a kid pitching a fit.
I really love your personality, no matter what youre talking about you always make me smile just because of how you present yourself x
My child-free friends make the best aunties! I think it’s important to have friends that are child free to help remind you that you were someone before your became a parent. When I had postpartum anxiety, my child free friends all had my back. Life is hard no matter what life you choose, we should just have everyone’s back.
Exactly I love that 🖤
Good perspective!
Notice how when you ask people with children why they have them it’s always a selfish reason. It’s to uplift them and make them feel better. I find the people on that thread to be so sad. You don’t have a purpose outside of your kids? You don’t think that you’ll make sufficient and lasting relationships that will take you until you die without the forced bond of blood? Like are your kids your only friends? You don’t have a life outside of that? It’s so sad to see bc life is full of things that have purpose that aren’t starting a family. So they are just outing themselves as terrible, uninteresting people that you wouldn’t be around if you weren’t related to them. And that’s so sad. Just such a sad and negative mindset.
Yesss omg so well said ! 🖤
God I was asked that question once and was like deer in headlights. My twins were a "happy little accident" like Bob Ross says lol and I told the person that my kids were unplanned but im so happy they're here. They looked at me like I had two heads😂 kids weren't in my life plan, but they have taught me more than I could ever teach them. And I think something that so many parents don't understand is that your children are yours to keep safe and nurture until they're ready to go on their own and THATS IT. Your child does not belong to you, they belong to themselves for the world. The moment they are born it's just a countdown until they leave. And that's how it should be viewed. You don't put children in this world in hopes they'll stick around you forever.
Yes, I also always felt like it was very deterministic. So having kids is the only fulfilling thing but then you basically create new humans for them to also not have any use or fulfilment until they procreate. That seems like such a bleak view of life.
THISSSSSS
I am a dog owner and also have a 15 month old toddler. I don’t understand on either side why people can’t just do what they choose with THEIR life. It’s their life who cares! Both are precious and deserve to go out into the world without people having something negative to say. With that being said yes babies and dogs can’t and shouldn’t be allowed everywhere. I don’t understand why there’s so much hate.
As someone who teaches children, some of the children I teach don’t have support and understanding from their parents at all. Often these things get pushed towards teachers to take care of. A lot of parents don’t take having children seriously enough. It’s more damaging to judge people for not wanting children because children deserve a lot of love, care, and patience. A lot of adults don’t even have that for themselves. Telling someone to have kids when they don’t actually have the desire is so baffling. I’ve thought for a while about if I want kids and I still don’t know. Id like to be in a place where I can give as much love to them as possible if I were to have them. Especially because it’s a life in my hands.
I love that your silliness from the Twin Channel has started to come through on the Robert Reacts channel as well!
😂😂😂
@Bardes82 I seriously was waiting for James top pop off a "Dog owning b**ch" at some point
I have 2 toddlers and am pregnant with a 3rd. So many ‘friends’ have said we are nuts and so many derogatory things. And it’s like… I’m not asking y’all to pay for these kids so what does it matter?
😂😂😂!! See 3-4 kids seems “normal” to me?? The way people speak to mums while pregnant and after is so insane to me. People are so involved for absolutely no reason
What do they expect you to do with your kids, go to the hospital and ask for a return 😂.
The distain, the grammatical and semantic correction, the sass, I love it! You sir are unique and exquisite.
The outrage I received from ppl I barely know when I say I plan to adopt ... that no man will want to marry me... that it's selfish to deny my future husband the opportunity to pass down his family's name??? As if the adopted child doesn’t take their new parent’s name anyway. I want to pull my hair out
I'm a parent , was a nanny and have worked in a school with 4 and 5yr olds. I love children..children are great...however badly behaved children with no boundaries or discipline are vile!!! My children were brought to be polite, well behaved and never ran around having tantrums!! The phrase "hell is other people's children" is true!!! Unfortunately, some parents don't discipline their children, allow them to run around screaming, THEY are to blame!!! Same can be said of dog owners..but that's on them!!!
There are good parents and good dog owners. I have no issue with people who want pets and not children...it's called CHOICE!! There's nothing wrong with not wanting either, either.
I think you should be able to have child free spaces!!! I think there should be dog friendly places. Let's just get over ourselves and allow people to do whatever makes them happy..just don't bring your naughty vile brats into a restaurant where I'm going to!!! 😂😂😂 xxxxx
As someone who has a lovely child who I love very much and likes kids in general, I would still prefer to sit by a dog than a random child I don't know for a 9 hour flight. 😂 Seriously though, I totally agree it's so ridiculous how we are fighting each other about the kid/dog issue. People criticized me before I had my son (for not having one), now people criticize me for only having one... I'm not sure you can "win" this argument. If someone wants a child and wants to be a good parent, go for it! If you do not want to be a parent, don't be a parent. There are plenty of parents who don't like their kids all that much and don't want to put in the effort to give their children safe and loving lives. Being a parent does not make you a saint just like being child-free does not make you a demon. As for having dogs or kids in restaurants, I would say that if you have a well-behaved child or a well-behaved dog, I will welcome you with open arms into any restaurant I'm eating in. If your dog is snapping at people or barking incessantly, maybe find outdoor seating or take your food to go and eat at a park. If your child is throwing tantrums and being crazy, same. I think it's about being considerate to the people around you and recognizing that sometimes your child or dog can be a bit much and then you might need to excuse yourself for the benefit of other patrons. Great video, Robert! I love your hot takes and I always laugh when I watch your videos.
😂I'm sorry but did I write this? 100% spot on with everything
We are 3 minutes in and i have already laughed more than i have in a long time. you are so funny in the way you express yourself and not afraid to be politically incorrect in the best way. you are the kind of person you would want to hang out with- happy we all get a bit of you here on yt
I’m 33, I got married at 20 and had my two kids at 22 and 23. I have a cousin who is a year younger than me, she’s gorgeous, has a great career, and she’s a ton of fun. I cringe any time my older (boomer 😅) relatives ask her if she’s met anyone, does she want to get married, have kids, etc 😵💫 I try to change the subject but you know how that generation is when they get on a tangent lol. I never ask her about those personal things, instead we talk about her work, my kids, her hilarious cat Binx, trips we would like to take together, home decor, all kinds of things. I don’t know why some people think we all need to live the same life!
I didn’t want kids, changed my mind, had a kid that I love more than anything. I had a cat first that was my child that I loved more than anyone and I spent every last penny on his vet bills during college. And I still don’t care if people don’t want kids! Live your life. With kids or without. Single, not single. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, who cares. I wouldn’t have pets or children if I couldn’t afford it. No one should be shamed for not having kids if they 1. Can’t afford it or 2. Don’t want them.