'Fantasy Rachel' has good taste in clothes, but 'Real Rachel' is the one it would be fun to have coffee with. I got rid of 'Old Linda' clothes and am now 'Jeans and T-Shirt Woman' (one of the lesser known Superheroes 😂) and I finally feel like me. Keep fighting the clutter, you're doing great x
"Fantasy Angie" wants a pantry full of glass jars and a bookcase full of books, though " Real Angie" knows she'll never use the jars or read the books, so after watching this, I'm having a good declutter and donating these things to someone who has the patience and time for these items. Great video😊.
“One day when I lose weight” 😬 I’ve actually lost weight recently and what I realized is that I still don’t actually want to wear my old clothes I held on to to fit into again “someday” so now when I don’t fit something, I get rid of it. I find someone I know who can wear it if it is still nice and new, or I give it to Savers and use the coupon they give me to buy something new :)
Yes, I always want to treat myself with new clothes after losing weight. I held on to a dress for 6 years because I thought I'd wear it again. Nope, still doesn't fit! And someone else could have had enjoyment from that item. :( I only wore it once for a wedding.
yes! I collect all my shorts and jeans and prom dresses. Why? In 10 years I never could go back to my teen body and most of that stuff is not even cute anymore, it is outdated. Some how I'm scared that I will wanna wear it and wont have it anymore. I'm hording stuff I dont even like. And yet I dont wanna donate it. It is the strangest feeling.
I will miss fantasy Rachel. She had a good beat and was easy to dance to! We always had so much at her dinner parties dressing up. After dinner it was so refreshing to walk through her gardens. When I got cold she quickly knitted me a sweater
Wannabe Better love this it made me laugh sooooooo much. You're clever. I am going to use this humour to create my own good bye letter to fantasy Leeza. Thanks for everything you will be part of my change. Fantasy Leeza enjoyed her Last party at fantasy Rachel's. She met a like minded guest wannabe better. She knew they spoke the same laungage. When She was full from all the lovely food that had been kept warm in the special catering style warmers. She took an amazing walk in fantasy Rachel's garden and was delighted by all the treasures and little surprises and garden ornaments hiding amongst the flowers and shrubs. After exploring all the new things she had experienced She pulled off her warm hand knitted jumper a kind gift from Fantasy Rachel jumped as high as she could and landed in her new life as Liveinthenow Leeza x Thanks 🤗🤗🤗
Man oh man. I'd have a really hard time with this. Ya know what it feels like? Like my real self is really boring. And when I did the konmari method, I kept the stuff that sparked Joy.... Which in a lot of cases was the fantasy self. Wow this would be tough. I've been on a minimalist journey since the new year, and this is something I really gotta think about. Awesome video!
I agree with this so much! I also kept a lot of stuff (clothes included) because they excited me in that "spark joy" kind of way. But like you said, they excited who I imagined myself to be, but not the real me.
Yes! I am really boring in comparison to my fantasy self as well. I feel like I hold onto stuff because I think well it wouldn't be that hard to schedule one day a year to do that hobby. But the truth is that it is really hard because I'll miss a day that I could have done something productive to my real life goals, not my fantasy goals.
This is the biggest hole in the konmari method for me. Stuff that sparks joy is often impractical and accessories to life, garnishes, rather than the functional stuff you use the most day to day.
YES! As someone mostly at home with young kids, my real self doesn't really spark joy right now so my fantasy self is really hard to give up! I love this discussion and I love this message Rachel - thanks for helping me work through the complicated inner weavings of my brain.
My fantasy self was SO hard for me to let go. I held on to so many clothing items thinking I would wear them again someday, but I finally let them go. It was hard, but I honestly feel better now. I think having a constant reminder of your fantasy self only serves to make you feel disappointed in who you really are, and that's just toxic
It seems like self-awareness is a big key in the de-cluttering process. Thanks for taking it to another level by addressing "fallacious fantasies". I really liked the orange geometric top. It goes with the poufs in your great room, LOL,
This the reason most people can never do a huge «decluttering marathon». The fact is the we can just buy the thing back if we desperatly need it. But this thought get i conflict with the fiction of the fantasy ( self image)
Girl, you nailed it! Fantasy of those hopes and dreams that stay hopes and dreams. Let’s see...Seasonal decorations to accentuate my homey house. Bins and bins of crushed and dusty decor.. ALL GONE! Extra sets of dishes, casseroles, cookbooks and the like!...GONE! Tons of Feng Shui books, sewing books and books I never had time to read...GONE! Finally, jewelry as gifts or not-my-style that I needed to hang onto as to not offend others. Costume Jewelry..GONE! Fine jewelry (well, I’m working on what to do with it). Thank you for another wonderful video, Rachel. Minimalism hear me roar!
I just have to pause this video for a moment, because I'm crying. :') They're not tears of sadness.. they're more like.. finding a new piece of the puzzle, just by accident and it fits perfectly.. those kinds of tears. I don't know really why you would start to cry over something like that but I just do. As if someone hands you something you didn't even want but you needed it so bad and you recognize it right away and you feel like you can breathe again.. and it hurts a little. in a way. but it's good. you know.. Those kinds of tears. Ok.. I'm going to continue watching now :') and stop crying. maybe. haha
OMG--this *SPEAKS TO ME SO MUCH* I have these types of clothes, profuse amounts of dinner party serving/decorative/wedding gifts for the fantasy dinner parties I've NEVER HAD! I have craft stuff and SO MUCH home decor stuff for the house I want to have one day but can't because it needs decluttering in order to see the fantasy come to life. My problem is giving away beautiful things with monetary value instead of selling & the selling just doesn't seem to be happening so I need to action removal. It's almost like I need someone else to do it so I don't even know it's gone. How do I get past this incredibly frustrating hurdle? I'm on the fantasy self merry-go-round from hell.
I wish that I had advice for you, but I’m in the same boat. I feel so guilty for giving things away that I know I paid good money for. I try to sell items here and there, but it’s a total hassle. So, I guess ultimately my fantasy self would sell stuff in order to not lose money completely. 🙄
I'm so the same especially with home decor. At first my home looked amazing with the things I bought but then I kept buying beautiful things and now it's too full of beautiful things!! Because I LOVE everything I find it impossible to part with any of it but I know that if I want my house to look good again I must. It's so cluttered.
MSL5 I feel the same. Yesterday morning I just plied it all in my hallway. Phoned a good cause to come and collect it and it was just gone. A chair, a sideboard, toys I love and I am heartbroken to let go of and are worth money, plus a little household stuff. It was really hard to let go. I just had to realise I have too much and I'm not living in the now and that's what I want. I still want that stuff it's sad but I have to move forward not be held in the past. Just do it is my advice. You will never feel ready that's the point. I need to repeat this still many times as I have a lot. Having someone come collect is the motivation to create the pile and then it is like someone just doing it for you like you said you wanted. Try it with a small amount and see how you get on. Good luck 🍀
Me too! Rachel's other video inspired me to get rid of a HUGE load which Salvation Army picked up. The biggest hurdle is the very first decision to not keep a "treasure" any longer. The money has already been spent - by a former you, and you cant go back in time and "unspend" it. Try putting it in a box and stashing it somewhere. In 6 months if you open it and still love it, it's ok to keep it! But you may find your emotional attachment to it is gone. Next decision - sell or donate? If garage sale or eBay are too time consuming for the $ you get from it, donate it with an open heart imagining how the next person gets to love it like you did. Then watch You Tuber Laura at How To Get Your Shit Together. She says you can be in a store and find something BEAUTIFUL, and you hold it and ADMIRE it, and then LEAVE. iT. iN. THE. STORE. !!! Whoever heard of THAT? Hahah! Good luck on your decluttering journey. The peace of mind and reduced anxiety are SO worth it!!
This is true for a lot of people, and I think a good question to ask is this: Do you REALLY want to throw a fancy dinner party? Think about it in terms of reality, not "yeah cause the table would be pretty" type of thing. Are you willing to spend the HOURS in the kitchen? The HOURS sending invitations? All that time PLANNING? Are you willing to give up over half your socializing time at this party in order to keep the kitchen/food prep in order? Is it worth the stress? After this party, are you willing to wash the pile of dishes? .... Now, after all that, if you are still saying yes, then THROW THE MOST GLORIOUS, OVER THE TOP PARTY YOU CAN!! ... BUT if all that sounds like unnecessary stress than IT IS. and what you need to do is LET IT GO. Maybe your style of party is just making a cute hot chocolate bar and having everyone come over for soup, salad, and bread. Maybe your style is pizza and ice cream for dessert. Either way, you should have a place that makes you happy to be in and not frustrated at yourself. Cooking in a kitchen of guilt is never fun.
This really opened my eyes to why I have trouble letting go of stuff. I have this fantasy self that will use these things one day. And, it's not just about keeping things, but buying more stuff as well. If I can keep this new mind set when shopping, maybe I won't bring home more stuff that will just sit in a corner for that someday when fantasy me emerges.
I follow Allison & this concept changed my life! It's really freeing! I realized how so much of my stuff is really self-criticism. Like I have stacks of parenting books that my fantasy self follows, but looking at them is a constant reminder that my real self is failing...it made it really easy to get rid of those books...because my real self is good enough. Really! Did I buy this cookbook because it makes me happy, or because I think I'm a terrible cook? If that book is criticizing the real me, it goes!
That one white top with the tie on the side was super cute! I would come steal that if it wasn't white. I've started lots of picture lists of all the stuff that the fantasy me loves. So many high-heeled boots and fancy dresses. She can visit them every day on Pinterest or Wish and none of the things take up any room in my closet.
Thank you for this video. Thank you to your subbie who asked you to do it. It's a great little mental game to help us realise the truth of ourselves. It really helps seeing others with the same struggles and watching you find ways to work it out helps. We cannot change all at once it's steady steps. Your recent purge was such a mental purge as much as anything. I found it hard seeing your garden stuff going. I felt it. I have been letting go And a huge amount was picked up yesterday. Furniture And toys. The toys were painful to let go. It's hard but necessary. I will have a chat with Fantasy Leeza now that you have introduced me to her. This has been fun. Thank you 🤗🤗🤗
You are a sharp dresser with the actual wardrobe that you wear. I love your style! But man this was a really good and helpful video. Because I realized that letting go of a few fantasy hobbies a while ago was the right decision. I also was a fantasy gardener, knitter, painter and party host. Probably not going to happen. The clarity from dumping all of those fantasy selfs is so refreshing.
Great video! I decluttered a whole lot of fantasy me as well. Stumbled upon the concept a while ago. It's like whenever you see your fantasy selfs suff you feel guilty for not using it! Getting rid of them is one less thing on the "to-do" list! Amongst other things my fantasy self was going to paint great magnificent oil color paintings with an easle on a big open feild. My hair tousled up in a bun with a brush handle, wearing a long bohemian/romantic skirt with paint splatters on. I was 37 years old when decluttering the art supplies that hadn't been touched since purchased at age 12... By the way. I never dress bohemian. I dress more like fantasy Rachel.
I realized alot of my `fantasy self`while doing konMari in my home (and watching your videos). It is so freeing to get rid of all the extra hosting things in the kitchen and all the pieces of this and that for projects you hope to do at some point in your life. I feel a lot more inspired now to do things that interest me instead of feeling guilty that Im not finishing all those old projects or following up on old interests. Rachel, I love your videos, you have such a great vibe!!!! You are inspiring so many people. Thanks xoxo
So very happy to see you back. I check every day. :) Love the theme of this. I carry a card with me when I go shopping with a checklist of questions to help me make better decisions. One question is "Is this purchase for my authentic self or my fantasy self?" That question kind of hurts every time, but it has helped me greatly.
I didn't realize I had a split personality until this video, it is so true though! Not sure if I am ready to completely let go of crafty Christi yet, think I will mull it over while the real Christi folds laundry...
Don't ever let go of your creative side, no matter how much laundry you have! Just because you don't have a whole weekend every week to devote to it is not a reason to dismiss that important part of you. If you only have four hours a month to devote to creativity, it is still a spark that ignites some passion in your life, instead of just boring chores over and over!
I so needed this video! Thank you! Now I have to go declutter some books that my fantasy self has all kinds of free time to read. And that my reality self can borrow from the library if the day ever comes that I actually do decide to.
the only books I own are either for work, uni or photopreps. All the other books are bookmarks or I'm currently reading - on my kindle. Saves so much space 😎
Wow, I am so glad you decided to post this. I have had the hardest time with the KonMari method because fantasy me is a great entertainer, avid sewer, cake artist, zero waste teacher, diyer, basically anything you can see on pinterest-er er... Real me has a house full of crap that I love, but never use. I am actually excited to see what my real house looks like underneath fantasy me's house. Thanks again.
Hi! This is my favorite video you've done. I love Allison's channel and highly recommend! Was excited to see that you followed up on her video. I don't see it as hacking others' ideas. I see it as learning from others and applying what we've learned to our own lives!
What a cute, honest and sweet Rachel! You speak to my heart and I am old enough to be your grandmother. Now I certainly need to address my fantasy self and thanks for reminding me.
Great idea! I think it's normal to try on different clothing styles, hobbies, household helps etc. But then we get stuck in the 'sunk cost fallacy' that tricks us into thinking just because we spent (or someone else spent) good money, and sometimes lots of money, then we're obligated to keep items around. My biggies: very expensive stand mixer and circular knitting needle set.
I found that when I first started decluttering it was easy. I made this decision and went crazy decluttering and van load after van load went away. I delved deeper and deeper and then got to my 'heart' clutter. The pain involved with that was VERY intense. Turns out I don't really like myself very much because.....I wasn't raised to believe I *am* likeable or even loveable. Then I met my husband....a person who loves me?! Brain finds it hard to compute that but 16 years later he's still here and he's still loving me. However, my heart. It still struggles. I wish I could find myself to be at least a little bit attractive or likeable. It's so hard and YES I can being a loving mother who tells her children they are valuable and loved and precious....but the record that plays in my mind, about me. That record plays a different tune
That is so sad, but I can totally relate to what you are saying. Well, you ARE likable, and you ARE lovable! 💜 People don't understand that when you don't believe in yourself as a child, it carries with you for the rest of your life. It's also very hard for me to defend myself against others. If it's about my husband, my kids or my family....WATCH OUT! Mama bear is vicious! But if it's about ME, it's like I am a totally different person. I had a horrible step- momster growing up. Let's just say, she made "Mommy Dearest" look like an angel. Well, I finally realized recently why I am this way. I had to suppress that natural instinct of Fight or Flight just to survive as a child, because I didn't have a choice to escape the abuse. It also affected my ability to listen to my gut about people that I meet. It's taken years to learn how to be a better judge of character. I have one of those awesome husbands like you, and 18 years later, I am still wondering how I ever got so lucky. Meanwhile, he tells me daily that HE is the lucky one. :)
Adventures with Amirah thank you for your comment. I am pregnant with my ninth baby and 99% of the time live very happily but sometimes. Sometimes I want to cry a lot and I have asked my husband a lot "why didn't my parents love me?" He is so gentle and says "they are broken people, just like you and me". It actually took 33 years for me to realise this about my childhood and once I realised....it's hard to forget.
I'll try to make my next one another decluttering one. I'm decluttering MORE clothes today actually (helping hubby do his too)...I should probably just turn on the camera. haha
You always talk about the things that I need to hear, the things I'm struggling with in the minimalism process. I thank you for being so honest and insightful! Some of the things that belong to the fantasy me are: piano music- I play piano at the intermediate level but I keep really high level music that I think I will master if I put the time into the; gardening stuff- bulb digger, 2 soil aerators, 2 different plastic edging rolls, all kinds of plastic empty pots, flower food, fertilizer, etc; scrap booking supplies-background paper, small frame paper, stickers, fancy scissors, glue dots, etc; cookware- i keep my souffle dish that I bought 35 years ago and have never once used, a bundt pan (never used), stoneware cookie sheet, pizza stone, and pie dish, juicer, waffle iron, omelet maker, coffee grinder, tiny cupcake tin. Oy!!!
The gray/silver skirt and the white tank would have been really cute!! And the block 3/4 sleeve shirt with the black pants I think would have been nice! When you start wearing that kind of stuff to business meetings or client meetings, you start feeling better about yourself and think it's more "normal" than "special". The rest of it, I totally get it!
I saw Allison's video originally and have been thinking about it since seeing it. It is fun to see your interpretation of it. You are brave and vulnerable! Very motivating and inspiring! Keep up the good work👏🏻
Really loved this video! This has inspired me to do something similar with my de-cluttering process. I'm only 2 weeks into my project, but I'm already feeling so much more free. Thanks for all that you do!
This has to be the funniest video we've (hubby and me) watched for awhile. We decluttered our shed and discovered there is a fantasy hockey player and artist living with us :D. Rachel we so enjoyed this glimpse of our fantasy selves and now use it often as we declutter and make our space a place we love to be in. Thanks for the giggles!
Thanks Rachel, you alerted me to the existence of Fantasy Pearl. When you spoke about catering equipment I knew that fantasy Pearl imagined she was baking and decorating fantastic biscuits/cookies. I have a huge and wonderful collection of cookie cutters which I never use but I'm pretty sure I know someone who will.
I love how you address these physiological barriers that go on in the mind as a minimalist, it's really refreshing to see after everyone just talks about the materialistic things
Those “what if/fantasy me” things are really the hardest to get rid of. I find it hardest to get rid of clothes in that category, because I am stuck thinking I might need them one day. I have pieces I haven’t worn in years because of that. Glad to see you got another video up, I always look forward to them. :)
You should take a look at Anuschka Rees and her book "The Curated Closet" (she has a blog as well). Her ideas have helped me quite a lot, when it comes to what should be in my closet and what shouldn't.
I love this concept, a lot of my over purchasing is driven by "fantasy self" buying. I really enjoyed hearing your take on this! I will keep this concept in mind while decluttering and hopefully when I'm in the store! 😀
*mind-blown* currently I have been struggling with boxes of things that I couldn't figure out what to do with and this is exactly what my problem is. Didn't have a name for it before and it makes complete sense. There is the real me and the person I wish I was. Time to let go and embrace ME! ☺️
This was really interesting! My fantasy self loves fancy outfits too ( saves them for best); has a large cookbook collection and kitchen appliances as she tries new recipes every week; loves crafts - crochet, sewing, bead jewellery making; she owns a modest amount of makeup as she dresses to the nines every day and did I mention jewellery?? Yep. It’s a common situation. You did well to let go of the unused fantasy items!! Cheers! 👍🌷
LOL. I think I came across the idea of the "Fantasy-Self" by accident when I found this really beautiful journal. I held it going "I can write some really beautiful poems..." and made excuses to keep it. Then this very, very frustrated voice came in and said "Ok. You've had this journal for how many years now and you haven't written a single word in it..." and pretty much broke down WHY I was NEVER going to write in it. Sudden light bulb moment. I went "Oh. My. You're right!" and applied that to EVERYTHING I was holding onto because "What if" and did the same thing. Crafting supplies, books I planned to read/finish reading, pens, clothes, knick knacks, everything pretty much went in round one, except that which I knew for sure I was going to use. I'm in the process of starting round 2. I'm just mentally exhausted because of work. But thank you for that reminder.
This is such a hard video to watch because Fantasy Jodi is a master scrapbooker who has amassed hundreds, if not thousands, of $ of supplies, while waiting for her new baby to get a little older so she has more time to scrapbook. Did I mention that Fantasy Jodi's baby is almost 14? Sigh...
I did this as well. Mine are 10 and 5 and I can finally do it together with them. But I think once the supplies are used up I won't be buying more. You can always donate them to a schools art department.
The struggle is REAL! It didn't help that one of my besties and neighbor used to sell creative memories. :( I have a bin of unused albums that I hate to part with, but I rarely do albums any more. I do a few with the kids, but they prefer Disney albums and could care less if something is acid free. LOL
I hope you don’t feel ashamed or upset that it took you another round of decluttering to get rid of this stuff. Just think of how much your mindset has changed since the first go around. It’s all progress and I’m glad you are sharing it with us! Love your videos and thanks so much!
I was checking youtube every day for the past week just to be sure that I didn't miss your video! 😊 Love this, will declutter, including some really nice dresses....strange but I still haven't been invited to any ball to wear them 😅 Keep up the good work, you always teach me something new and have the best personality ever! 🤗
I feel like this happens in relationships a lot too. You get caught up in your partner’s version of his/her fantasy life and you jump through hoops trying to fulfill it only to fail because 1) it’s a fantasy and 2) it’s not even your own.
Oh my goodness! This surprised me because I have never considered this about myself, and it is SO TRUE!!! I am a typical Meyers-Briggs ENFP personality type, always imagining the possibilities of situations and things. I have found that since I have had kids, that I don’t have the time for the hobbies that I IMAGINED myself doing... like, crocheting endless cute hats and sweaters for every child in my family, or actually completing a baby book for my 2nd or 3rd child, or making felt appliqué Christmas stockings... the list seems endless, and I only ever get as far as buying a shameful amount of stuff that clutters up my home in the process. What’s more, is I feel guilt or failure every time I see or think about those things. Ugh. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this video!!!
The "fantasy self" test is another good tool to declutter. My fantasy self has parties where I serve margaritas. I don't think I've used my margarita glasses more than once since I got them about 15 years ago :o)
welcome back 💖 nice to watch your video especially the parts you give away stuff... garage part is amazing. love and love it. very enjoy watching. Good. Stay healthy and stay happy.
It's 2020 and I just watched this video. While de-cluttering, my jewelry gadgets (hooks for earrings, pins for beads, tools, etc) sparked joy......for my fantasy self. The real me spent one afternoon trying to create my own jewelry and gave up in frustration. A few years ago lol. So today, after watching this, I put all my fantasy self's jewelry creation clutter into the donate box in the garage. Yay! No more looking at it and feeling inadequate and guilty. The real me feels better already :)
This is probably the toughest video to watch. You're so vulnerable to share who and what you are letting go of, and the effort is appreciated. It's hard to look in the mirror and be honest; thank you for doing so in front of thousands of viewers and encourage us to do the same!
Just today I got rid of several business suits and formal wear. It was painful. But then I stumbled upon this video and now feel validated. Thank you thank you! ❤ Just became a new subscriber look forward to more great content 👍
Thank you Rachel. I just sat down and figured out who is my "fantasy self" was. It was really eye opening and a bit of a challenge. For others thinking about doing this it is so therapeutic.
I love your videos. You are the most authentic "minimalist" UA-camr I have seen. You make this real. Thank you very much for inspiring this messy person, who is trying to be minimalist!
My fantasy self is definitely a crafter, for sure. Also an avid reader and super fit person who can totally still fit into all of her old clothes. lol Sounds like I've got a few areas I can work on, too!
Yes my fantasy self is a painter i have painted few but when i started decluttering with you tow years ago i realized it does not bring me that joy so i gave all the convas and colors to a friend that likes it
So much hard truth. This is pretty hard to swallow, but I'll definitely give some real thought to this as I go through my own decluttering process. Thanks, Rachel.
This was very helpful. The fantasy or aspirational self is a real thing. We buy and collect things for when we decide to become a great gardener or watercolorist. I bought a cheap watercolor set and then realized I had no talent. Your video touched on many reasons we all keep things that don’t serve us.
My fantasy self thought I would enjoy decorating a planner..so lots of dollars later, I find it boring and a waste of $$! ☹....also same for candlemaking!! 😕
I love this idea! & Great job!! I did this when I decluttered. I was the biggest DIYer you have ever come across! I could crochet (which I can actually do, just don't), refinish furniture, make DIY Christmas Gifts of all sorts, etc. I had an entire room and storage building dedicated to all of this, and it felt so good to declutter all of it!
I have lots of scrapbooking supplies and rubber stamps. I keep thinking I will do great things, but maybe that’s Fantasy Tricia. You’ve given me lots to think about.
I had watched Allison Anderson's video about decluttering the fantasy self and I loved it. So glad that you did a video, too. Didn't realize all the fantasy selves that I had. Will be working on decluttering them.
I missed you Real Rachel! So glad that you're feeling better and thank you for another great video 👍 I am now going to have a really good talk to Fantasy Sally see if she will take a long walk. . . . 😆
This was such a powerful video! Our house is a wreck right now because our floors flooded, were ripped up and this cool gray plank tile goes down in 2 days. Yippy! And then we can start living in more than 2 rooms. I'm totally using this as stuff goes back into the rooms. Thanks! 💙
This is amazing. I never heard of this....fantasy self. I have majorly purged for 2 years but this is life changing. Many things can go now hearing this....juicer, beautiful suit jackets, (I teach kinder) etc
I can see why you were tempted to keep the "Fantasy Rachel" clothes! They look great on you, it has definitely inspired me to take a look at a few of the "one day I'll wear this" clothes in my closet. Just because it looks good doesn't mean it works with my style, sending that stuff off into the world for someone else to look fab in would feel awesome compared to letting it sit around my house unused.
I love the idea of fantasy me vs real me! This is soooo true! It makes it easier for me to let go of things when I think this way! Thanks! Take care Vicki
Thank you! Fantasy me has all these hair products and flat irons, curlers...but real me wears hair just washed and blow dried with a little bit of product when I'm feeling "dressed up" and in a ponytail the rest of the time. Fantasy me has an hour to spend on hair, real me has 15 minutes if I'm lucky. Thank you for helping me see the real me just a little bit better!
Books! I have a vast collection of books I am never going to read again or feel like they are apart of me. Or books I know I don't have time to read. I love this idea of fantasy self its true we all have things we want to do or hobbies we wish we had more time for but instead we just collect junk! Thank you so much for this video hun!
This video hits just in time! Fantasy me is so good with crafts, she can turn junk into beautiful things she saw on Pinterest and can use her creativity there...I don't! I have to chose a real hobbie!
I've watched all your videos over the past few weeks & you have inspired me & given more great advice than any other organizer I've seen. Thank you so much!
Fantasy Carrie here.....I think this answered a lot of questions that have been hanging around with so much of that stuff I haven't been able to part with.....not use,just not able to part with....thank you so much for introducing me to fantasy Carrie... she has a lot of work to do and I will help her.......take good care ...
I envy your relatively stable point in life right now. I'm half in school and half working, so I keep two outfits I never wear except for interviews, maybe once a year. I hate how it throws off the versatility of my wardrobe. Sigh. I really enjoy your videos!
This video helped me get rid of many things that I had trouble letting go of. I think this one is my fav just because it really was a break through!! Now before I even bring a new thing into my home I'm able to decide if it's ME or fantasy me that will enjoy it.
I LOVE your videos, and this has been one of your best. I did something similar last weekend when I called myself out for holding onto things I'll never realistically use/wear/need. Putting this into a formal exercise is brilliant. I think it will help alot of people get over those final decluttering hurdles. Im so glad you chose to do this one, Rachel!
That was a wonderful video. I ended up buying so many cosmetics and makeup, clothes n shoes for my fantasy self. Thanks to the influence of social media and beauty and fashion blogs and channels for making me waste so much money. And thanks for all the project pan and minimalist bloggers and channels to make mr finally open my eyes. Lol
Great video! I can SO relate! I’ve retired, & though I have gotten rid of loads of clothes, I still have huge amounts left. I no longer attend professional meetings, stand before a college class daily, or do countless other activities necessitating that wardrobe. But it is SO hard to get rid of perfectly lovely clothes I really like! Now with the pandemic, I really have nowhere to go! And, yes, I have many of the same “fantasy selves” you have. Thanks for sharing & motivating me.
Loved this! Fantasy Wendy really is going to start home workouts or maybe even join the gym again. Afterall, she has all this workout gear that she NEVER wears 😂 plus she has beautiful cookbooks yet hates cooking 😂
Great video. I've known for a long time that my "fantasy self" and "real self" were two COMPLETELY different people. While I don't have an overcrowded kitchen, I do have a lot of bakeware that I rarely ever use. And I just don't do a lot of cooking either. I could probably empty out a cabinet or two. Then I'd have room to store more paper crafts, which is something "Real Sabrina" actually does. Lol
Thank you very much for this video. If I'm honest, I have this stuff too. (Language kits for languages I won't learn, weights I won't lift, fabric I won't quilt, make up I'm not brave enough to wear etc). Thank you for the motivation to let it go.
Thanks for the awesome video! I felt like you were reenacting my experience at the beginning of summer when I realized I didn't need 10 planters for my fantasy flower garden. As I was watching your video, I glanced over at my bookshelf and there were two balls of yarn and a knitting needle. They were there because I couldn't figure out where to put them. After watching the video, I gave them to my daughter, who is much better at knitting than I am. So much for my fantasy of knitting blankets and scarves! But I feel so much better.
One of my favorites from you by far. I will go check out the inspirational video as well. I love how you incorporate discussion and application. I started my journey in minimalism two years before you and have gone through all the stages you are going through. BUT your videos give me the courage to go back, reevaluate and take it to the next level. I've said goodbye to so many fantasy selves throughout the years and I'm a better me than ever. ❤️
Thank you for this video! It was SO helpful!! Fantasy me plays records on a record-player, grows seedings on his kitchen windowledge, reads about Art History, cooks with lentils, needs lots of chalkboard and poster pens because needs to make last-minute posters and display boards... etc
Real truths here that I needed to hear! It's time to re=evaluate the amount of crafting things I kept when I did my preliminary purge. Still too much and I KNOW my fantasy self is not going to be crafting seven days a week which is what I would have to do to work my way through all I kept! Thank you.
Fantastic vdo Rachel. Even i am a hoarder of things for my fantasy self. By the way, you looked awesome in those dresses. Throw a party to itself and wear them. You look too good in them.😍
Yay!!! So glad you posted! You are my fave youtuber! Fantasy me had held on to furniture galore because fantasy me is good at remodeling and repurposing old furniture... I just got rid of most of it last week!! Your videos have motivated me so much! so relatable😅
Last year I got into macrame. I made half a curtain but the string wasn't right so I threw it away. I also made a plant pot hangar which has been on my verandah, without a plant, for around 9 months. It was ugly and I always intended taking it apart and remaking it. It's now in the bin. Thanks Rachel!
It was really interesting to watch this video! My Fantasy Self loves to read, and sew (lots of fabrics, ribbons...). I decluttered all of this some time ago :)
Blessings of health to you and your pup, I hope you both - *scratch that* - you ALL stay healthy and well ☺ 💗 Also, SUCH a helpful video, I've watched it twice already and I'm sure I'll watch it a few more times still to keep me inspired and on the right track 👍
'Fantasy Rachel' has good taste in clothes, but 'Real Rachel' is the one it would be fun to have coffee with. I got rid of 'Old Linda' clothes and am now 'Jeans and T-Shirt Woman' (one of the lesser known Superheroes 😂) and I finally feel like me. Keep fighting the clutter, you're doing great x
ah, I love jeans and t-shirt woman :)
I'm a t-shirt and jeans girl too and I didn't know and a hero!Yay)
Linda Tait love this...so true!
"Fantasy Angie" wants a pantry full of glass jars and a bookcase full of books, though " Real Angie" knows she'll never use the jars or read the books, so after watching this, I'm having a good declutter and donating these things to someone who has the patience and time for these items.
Great video😊.
“One day when I lose weight” 😬 I’ve actually lost weight recently and what I realized is that I still don’t actually want to wear my old clothes I held on to to fit into again “someday” so now when I don’t fit something, I get rid of it. I find someone I know who can wear it if it is still nice and new, or I give it to Savers and use the coupon they give me to buy something new :)
so true!
Yes, I always want to treat myself with new clothes after losing weight. I held on to a dress for 6 years because I thought I'd wear it again. Nope, still doesn't fit! And someone else could have had enjoyment from that item. :( I only wore it once for a wedding.
yes! I collect all my shorts and jeans and prom dresses. Why? In 10 years I never could go back to my teen body and most of that stuff is not even cute anymore, it is outdated. Some how I'm scared that I will wanna wear it and wont have it anymore. I'm hording stuff I dont even like. And yet I dont wanna donate it. It is the strangest feeling.
Smart dresser Rachel come back!
So true.
I will miss fantasy Rachel. She had a good beat and was easy to dance to! We always had so much at her dinner parties dressing up. After dinner it was so refreshing to walk through her gardens. When I got cold she quickly knitted me a sweater
haha!! Oh man, now I miss fantasy Rachel too..! ;-)
Wannabe Better love this it made me laugh sooooooo much. You're clever. I am going to use this humour to create my own good bye letter to fantasy Leeza. Thanks for everything you will be part of my change.
Fantasy Leeza enjoyed her Last party at fantasy Rachel's. She met a like minded guest wannabe better. She knew they spoke the same laungage. When She was full from all the lovely food that had been kept warm in the special catering style warmers. She took an amazing walk in fantasy Rachel's garden and was delighted by all the treasures and little surprises and garden ornaments hiding amongst the flowers and shrubs. After exploring all the new things she had experienced She pulled off her warm hand knitted jumper a kind gift from Fantasy Rachel jumped as high as she could and landed in her new life as Liveinthenow Leeza x
Thanks 🤗🤗🤗
Love this!😂
Hahaha. So funny. Love it.
BAHAHAHAHA
Man oh man. I'd have a really hard time with this. Ya know what it feels like? Like my real self is really boring. And when I did the konmari method, I kept the stuff that sparked Joy.... Which in a lot of cases was the fantasy self. Wow this would be tough. I've been on a minimalist journey since the new year, and this is something I really gotta think about. Awesome video!
I agree with this so much! I also kept a lot of stuff (clothes included) because they excited me in that "spark joy" kind of way. But like you said, they excited who I imagined myself to be, but not the real me.
Yes! I am really boring in comparison to my fantasy self as well. I feel like I hold onto stuff because I think well it wouldn't be that hard to schedule one day a year to do that hobby. But the truth is that it is really hard because I'll miss a day that I could have done something productive to my real life goals, not my fantasy goals.
This is the biggest hole in the konmari method for me. Stuff that sparks joy is often impractical and accessories to life, garnishes, rather than the functional stuff you use the most day to day.
YES! As someone mostly at home with young kids, my real self doesn't really spark joy right now so my fantasy self is really hard to give up! I love this discussion and I love this message Rachel - thanks for helping me work through the complicated inner weavings of my brain.
My fantasy self was SO hard for me to let go. I held on to so many clothing items thinking I would wear them again someday, but I finally let them go. It was hard, but I honestly feel better now. I think having a constant reminder of your fantasy self only serves to make you feel disappointed in who you really are, and that's just toxic
It seems like self-awareness is a big key in the de-cluttering process. Thanks for taking it to another level by addressing "fallacious fantasies". I really liked the orange geometric top. It goes with the poufs in your great room, LOL,
This the reason most people can never do a huge «decluttering marathon».
The fact is the we can just buy the thing back if we desperatly need it. But this thought get i conflict with the fiction of the fantasy ( self image)
Girl, you nailed it! Fantasy of those hopes and dreams that stay hopes and dreams. Let’s see...Seasonal decorations to accentuate my homey house. Bins and bins of crushed and dusty decor.. ALL GONE! Extra sets of dishes, casseroles, cookbooks and the like!...GONE! Tons of Feng Shui books, sewing books and books I never had time to read...GONE! Finally, jewelry as gifts or not-my-style that I needed to hang onto as to not offend others. Costume Jewelry..GONE! Fine jewelry (well, I’m working on what to do with it). Thank you for another wonderful video, Rachel. Minimalism hear me roar!
OMG-so inspiring--what gave you the push?
Go girl! :) I need to tackle jewelry too... I've been thinking about it for months!
I sold some of my fine jewelry on ebay. Believe it or not, I made a nice chunk of change, enough to pay off a maxed-out credit card.
I just have to pause this video for a moment, because I'm crying. :') They're not tears of sadness.. they're more like.. finding a new piece of the puzzle, just by accident and it fits perfectly.. those kinds of tears. I don't know really why you would start to cry over something like that but I just do. As if someone hands you something you didn't even want but you needed it so bad and you recognize it right away and you feel like you can breathe again.. and it hurts a little. in a way. but it's good. you know.. Those kinds of tears. Ok.. I'm going to continue watching now :') and stop crying. maybe. haha
OMG--this *SPEAKS TO ME SO MUCH* I have these types of clothes, profuse amounts of dinner party serving/decorative/wedding gifts for the fantasy dinner parties I've NEVER HAD! I have craft stuff and SO MUCH home decor stuff for the house I want to have one day but can't because it needs decluttering in order to see the fantasy come to life. My problem is giving away beautiful things with monetary value instead of selling & the selling just doesn't seem to be happening so I need to action removal. It's almost like I need someone else to do it so I don't even know it's gone. How do I get past this incredibly frustrating hurdle? I'm on the fantasy self merry-go-round from hell.
I wish that I had advice for you, but I’m in the same boat. I feel so guilty for giving things away that I know I paid good money for. I try to sell items here and there, but it’s a total hassle. So, I guess ultimately my fantasy self would sell stuff in order to not lose money completely. 🙄
I'm so the same especially with home decor. At first my home looked amazing with the things I bought but then I kept buying beautiful things and now it's too full of beautiful things!! Because I LOVE everything I find it impossible to part with any of it but I know that if I want my house to look good again I must. It's so cluttered.
MSL5 I feel the same. Yesterday morning I just plied it all in my hallway. Phoned a good cause to come and collect it and it was just gone. A chair, a sideboard, toys I love and I am heartbroken to let go of and are worth money, plus a little household stuff. It was really hard to let go. I just had to realise I have too much and I'm not living in the now and that's what I want. I still want that stuff it's sad but I have to move forward not be held in the past. Just do it is my advice. You will never feel ready that's the point. I need to repeat this still many times as I have a lot. Having someone come collect is the motivation to create the pile and then it is like someone just doing it for you like you said you wanted. Try it with a small amount and see how you get on. Good luck 🍀
Me too! Rachel's other video inspired me to get rid of a HUGE load which Salvation Army picked up. The biggest hurdle is the very first decision to not keep a "treasure" any longer. The money has already been spent - by a former you, and you cant go back in time and "unspend" it. Try putting it in a box and stashing it somewhere. In 6 months if you open it and still love it, it's ok to keep it! But you may find your emotional attachment to it is gone. Next decision - sell or donate? If garage sale or eBay are too time consuming for the $ you get from it, donate it with an open heart imagining how the next person gets to love it like you did. Then watch You Tuber Laura at How To Get Your Shit Together. She says you can be in a store and find something BEAUTIFUL, and you hold it and ADMIRE it, and then LEAVE. iT. iN. THE. STORE. !!! Whoever heard of THAT? Hahah! Good luck on your decluttering journey. The peace of mind and reduced anxiety are SO worth it!!
This is true for a lot of people, and I think a good question to ask is this: Do you REALLY want to throw a fancy dinner party? Think about it in terms of reality, not "yeah cause the table would be pretty" type of thing. Are you willing to spend the HOURS in the kitchen? The HOURS sending invitations? All that time PLANNING? Are you willing to give up over half your socializing time at this party in order to keep the kitchen/food prep in order? Is it worth the stress? After this party, are you willing to wash the pile of dishes? ....
Now, after all that, if you are still saying yes, then THROW THE MOST GLORIOUS, OVER THE TOP PARTY YOU CAN!! ... BUT if all that sounds like unnecessary stress than IT IS. and what you need to do is LET IT GO.
Maybe your style of party is just making a cute hot chocolate bar and having everyone come over for soup, salad, and bread. Maybe your style is pizza and ice cream for dessert. Either way, you should have a place that makes you happy to be in and not frustrated at yourself. Cooking in a kitchen of guilt is never fun.
This really opened my eyes to why I have trouble letting go of stuff. I have this fantasy self that will use these things one day. And, it's not just about keeping things, but buying more stuff as well. If I can keep this new mind set when shopping, maybe I won't bring home more stuff that will just sit in a corner for that someday when fantasy me emerges.
I follow Allison & this concept changed my life! It's really freeing! I realized how so much of my stuff is really self-criticism. Like I have stacks of parenting books that my fantasy self follows, but looking at them is a constant reminder that my real self is failing...it made it really easy to get rid of those books...because my real self is good enough. Really! Did I buy this cookbook because it makes me happy, or because I think I'm a terrible cook? If that book is criticizing the real me, it goes!
oh wow, this idea is really interesting to think about. thanks for articulating it Tania.
That one white top with the tie on the side was super cute! I would come steal that if it wasn't white.
I've started lots of picture lists of all the stuff that the fantasy me loves. So many high-heeled boots and fancy dresses. She can visit them every day on Pinterest or Wish and none of the things take up any room in my closet.
ha! I loved that white top too! so great for all those business-creative team meetings you will need to attend.
Thank you for this video. Thank you to your subbie who asked you to do it. It's a great little mental game to help us realise the truth of ourselves. It really helps seeing others with the same struggles and watching you find ways to work it out helps. We cannot change all at once it's steady steps. Your recent purge was such a mental purge as much as anything. I found it hard seeing your garden stuff going. I felt it. I have been letting go And a huge amount was picked up yesterday. Furniture And toys. The toys were painful to let go. It's hard but necessary. I will have a chat with Fantasy Leeza now that you have introduced me to her. This has been fun. Thank you 🤗🤗🤗
You are a sharp dresser with the actual wardrobe that you wear. I love your style!
But man this was a really good and helpful video. Because I realized that letting go of a few fantasy hobbies a while ago was the right decision.
I also was a fantasy gardener, knitter, painter and party host. Probably not going to happen. The clarity from dumping all of those fantasy selfs is so refreshing.
Great video! I decluttered a whole lot of fantasy me as well. Stumbled upon the concept a while ago. It's like whenever you see your fantasy selfs suff you feel guilty for not using it! Getting rid of them is one less thing on the "to-do" list! Amongst other things my fantasy self was going to paint great magnificent oil color paintings with an easle on a big open feild. My hair tousled up in a bun with a brush handle, wearing a long bohemian/romantic skirt with paint splatters on. I was 37 years old when decluttering the art supplies that hadn't been touched since purchased at age 12... By the way. I never dress bohemian. I dress more like fantasy Rachel.
I realized alot of my `fantasy self`while doing konMari in my home (and watching your videos). It is so freeing to get rid of all the extra hosting things in the kitchen and all the pieces of this and that for projects you hope to do at some point in your life. I feel a lot more inspired now to do things that interest me instead of feeling guilty that Im not finishing all those old projects or following up on old interests. Rachel, I love your videos, you have such a great vibe!!!! You are inspiring so many people. Thanks xoxo
This video really helped me when it first came out. I ditched the fantasy seamstress and found the real artist in me! Thank you!
So very happy to see you back. I check every day. :)
Love the theme of this. I carry a card with me when I go shopping with a checklist of questions to help me make better decisions. One question is "Is this purchase for my authentic self or my fantasy self?" That question kind of hurts every time, but it has helped me greatly.
My fantasy self says "Noooooo..... !" Lol
What a good idea
I didn't realize I had a split personality until this video, it is so true though! Not sure if I am ready to completely let go of crafty Christi yet, think I will mull it over while the real Christi folds laundry...
Don't ever let go of your creative side, no matter how much laundry you have! Just because you don't have a whole weekend every week to devote to it is not a reason to dismiss that important part of you. If you only have four hours a month to devote to creativity, it is still a spark that ignites some passion in your life, instead of just boring chores over and over!
I so needed this video! Thank you! Now I have to go declutter some books that my fantasy self has all kinds of free time to read. And that my reality self can borrow from the library if the day ever comes that I actually do decide to.
Great comment! Yes, libraries are GREAT for our real self. (we have a lot of books too...)
the only books I own are either for work, uni or photopreps. All the other books are bookmarks or I'm currently reading - on my kindle. Saves so much space 😎
The fantasy me purchases the classics. The real me reads cozy murder mysteries.
Oh, books are my weakness.
Bridget mine too because I have alot of out of print books. That I love.
Wow, I am so glad you decided to post this. I have had the hardest time with the KonMari method because fantasy me is a great entertainer, avid sewer, cake artist, zero waste teacher, diyer, basically anything you can see on pinterest-er er... Real me has a house full of crap that I love, but never use. I am actually excited to see what my real house looks like underneath fantasy me's house. Thanks again.
Hi! This is my favorite video you've done. I love Allison's channel and highly recommend! Was excited to see that you followed up on her video. I don't see it as hacking others' ideas. I see it as learning from others and applying what we've learned to our own lives!
What a cute, honest and sweet Rachel! You speak to my heart and I am old enough to be your grandmother. Now I certainly need to address my fantasy self and thanks for reminding me.
Great idea! I think it's normal to try on different clothing styles, hobbies, household helps etc. But then we get stuck in the 'sunk cost fallacy' that tricks us into thinking just because we spent (or someone else spent) good money, and sometimes lots of money, then we're obligated to keep items around. My biggies: very expensive stand mixer and circular knitting needle set.
THIS! This is me. How do I get over it? I think I need someone else to take it all away.
As an avid knitter my needles get used daily. My biggie is the dinnerware and platters. Apparently fantasy me likes to cook.
thank you for naming the sunk cost fallacy. practical side finds it really difficult to get past this.
I found that when I first started decluttering it was easy. I made this decision and went crazy decluttering and van load after van load went away. I delved deeper and deeper and then got to my 'heart' clutter. The pain involved with that was VERY intense. Turns out I don't really like myself very much because.....I wasn't raised to believe I *am* likeable or even loveable. Then I met my husband....a person who loves me?! Brain finds it hard to compute that but 16 years later he's still here and he's still loving me. However, my heart. It still struggles. I wish I could find myself to be at least a little bit attractive or likeable. It's so hard and YES I can being a loving mother who tells her children they are valuable and loved and precious....but the record that plays in my mind, about me. That record plays a different tune
That is so sad, but I can totally relate to what you are saying. Well, you ARE likable, and you ARE lovable! 💜 People don't understand that when you don't believe in yourself as a child, it carries with you for the rest of your life. It's also very hard for me to defend myself against others. If it's about my husband, my kids or my family....WATCH OUT! Mama bear is vicious! But if it's about ME, it's like I am a totally different person. I had a horrible step- momster growing up. Let's just say, she made "Mommy Dearest" look like an angel. Well, I finally realized recently why I am this way. I had to suppress that natural instinct of Fight or Flight just to survive as a child, because I didn't have a choice to escape the abuse. It also affected my ability to listen to my gut about people that I meet. It's taken years to learn how to be a better judge of character. I have one of those awesome husbands like you, and 18 years later, I am still wondering how I ever got so lucky. Meanwhile, he tells me daily that HE is the lucky one. :)
Adventures with Amirah thank you for your comment. I am pregnant with my ninth baby and 99% of the time live very happily but sometimes. Sometimes I want to cry a lot and I have asked my husband a lot "why didn't my parents love me?" He is so gentle and says "they are broken people, just like you and me". It actually took 33 years for me to realise this about my childhood and once I realised....it's hard to forget.
Adventures with Amirah you are reading my mind and heart!!
Please do more decluttering videos! I really enjoy them. Keep up the good work Rachel
I'll try to make my next one another decluttering one. I'm decluttering MORE clothes today actually (helping hubby do his too)...I should probably just turn on the camera. haha
You always talk about the things that I need to hear, the things I'm struggling with in the minimalism process. I thank you for being so honest and insightful! Some of the things that belong to the fantasy me are: piano music- I play piano at the intermediate level but I keep really high level music that I think I will master if I put the time into the; gardening stuff- bulb digger, 2 soil aerators, 2 different plastic edging rolls, all kinds of plastic empty pots, flower food, fertilizer, etc; scrap booking supplies-background paper, small frame paper, stickers, fancy scissors, glue dots, etc; cookware- i keep my souffle dish that I bought 35 years ago and have never once used, a bundt pan (never used), stoneware cookie sheet, pizza stone, and pie dish, juicer, waffle iron, omelet maker, coffee grinder, tiny cupcake tin. Oy!!!
The gray/silver skirt and the white tank would have been really cute!! And the block 3/4 sleeve shirt with the black pants I think would have been nice! When you start wearing that kind of stuff to business meetings or client meetings, you start feeling better about yourself and think it's more "normal" than "special". The rest of it, I totally get it!
I saw Allison's video originally and have been thinking about it since seeing it. It is fun to see your interpretation of it. You are brave and vulnerable! Very motivating and inspiring! Keep up the good work👏🏻
Really loved this video! This has inspired me to do something similar with my de-cluttering process. I'm only 2 weeks into my project, but I'm already feeling so much more free. Thanks for all that you do!
Well, fantasy me read "shelf" and thought we'd be seeing a collection of elves on shelves or unicorns...but this was better :)
Carol McKenzie me too 😂
haha!
I also read shelf. ha ha I was wondering what a fantasy shelf was.
Lol...too funny! Although, I would've thoroughly enjoyed a collection of unicorns!
Rofl me too!
This has to be the funniest video we've (hubby and me) watched for awhile. We decluttered our shed and discovered there is a fantasy hockey player and artist living with us :D. Rachel we so enjoyed this glimpse of our fantasy selves and now use it often as we declutter and make our space a place we love to be in. Thanks for the giggles!
I missed your videos! Welcome back and I look forward to the next video :)
Thanks Rachel, you alerted me to the existence of Fantasy Pearl. When you spoke about catering equipment I knew that fantasy Pearl imagined she was baking and decorating fantastic biscuits/cookies. I have a huge and wonderful collection of cookie cutters which I never use but I'm pretty sure I know someone who will.
I love how you address these physiological barriers that go on in the mind as a minimalist, it's really refreshing to see after everyone just talks about the materialistic things
Those “what if/fantasy me” things are really the hardest to get rid of. I find it hardest to get rid of clothes in that category, because I am stuck thinking I might need them one day. I have pieces I haven’t worn in years because of that.
Glad to see you got another video up, I always look forward to them. :)
I agree. I think that's why I decided to try them on one last time. In part to show you all, but also so I have a memory of them to look back on!
You should take a look at Anuschka Rees and her book "The Curated Closet" (she has a blog as well). Her ideas have helped me quite a lot, when it comes to what should be in my closet and what shouldn't.
I love this concept, a lot of my over purchasing is driven by "fantasy self" buying. I really enjoyed hearing your take on this! I will keep this concept in mind while decluttering and hopefully when I'm in the store! 😀
*mind-blown* currently I have been struggling with boxes of things that I couldn't figure out what to do with and this is exactly what my problem is. Didn't have a name for it before and it makes complete sense. There is the real me and the person I wish I was. Time to let go and embrace ME! ☺️
Good luck!! :-D
This was really interesting! My fantasy self loves fancy outfits too ( saves them for best); has a large cookbook collection and kitchen appliances as she tries new recipes every week; loves crafts - crochet, sewing, bead jewellery making; she owns a modest amount of makeup as she dresses to the nines every day and did I mention jewellery?? Yep. It’s a common situation. You did well to let go of the unused fantasy items!! Cheers! 👍🌷
LOL. I think I came across the idea of the "Fantasy-Self" by accident when I found this really beautiful journal. I held it going "I can write some really beautiful poems..." and made excuses to keep it. Then this very, very frustrated voice came in and said "Ok. You've had this journal for how many years now and you haven't written a single word in it..." and pretty much broke down WHY I was NEVER going to write in it. Sudden light bulb moment. I went "Oh. My. You're right!" and applied that to EVERYTHING I was holding onto because "What if" and did the same thing. Crafting supplies, books I planned to read/finish reading, pens, clothes, knick knacks, everything pretty much went in round one, except that which I knew for sure I was going to use. I'm in the process of starting round 2. I'm just mentally exhausted because of work.
But thank you for that reminder.
I keep saving old Jean's thinking I'm gonna make a jean quilt. Maaaaaybeee 💗💗💗💗
This is such a hard video to watch because Fantasy Jodi is a master scrapbooker who has amassed hundreds, if not thousands, of $ of supplies, while waiting for her new baby to get a little older so she has more time to scrapbook.
Did I mention that Fantasy Jodi's baby is almost 14? Sigh...
Jodi G from FW, TX I am also a scrapbooking guru with 1000s of dollars worth of yellowing paper and stamps still in the package. :(
cutenurse79 Cutenurse79 And the acid-free stickers! Lol
Jodi G from FW, TX what are we going to do? I literally have bins of the stuff. Havent scrapped a minute in 4 years.
I did this as well. Mine are 10 and 5 and I can finally do it together with them. But I think once the supplies are used up I won't be buying more. You can always donate them to a schools art department.
The struggle is REAL! It didn't help that one of my besties and neighbor used to sell creative memories. :( I have a bin of unused albums that I hate to part with, but I rarely do albums any more. I do a few with the kids, but they prefer Disney albums and could care less if something is acid free. LOL
I hope you don’t feel ashamed or upset that it took you another round of decluttering to get rid of this stuff. Just think of how much your mindset has changed since the first go around. It’s all progress and I’m glad you are sharing it with us! Love your videos and thanks so much!
I was checking youtube every day for the past week just to be sure that I didn't miss your video! 😊 Love this, will declutter, including some really nice dresses....strange but I still haven't been invited to any ball to wear them 😅 Keep up the good work, you always teach me something new and have the best personality ever! 🤗
Haha - yeah fancy dresses are tough to let go of! But I bet you'll make the right choice for you :) Thanks for waiting patiently for this video!
I feel like this happens in relationships a lot too. You get caught up in your partner’s version of his/her fantasy life and you jump through hoops trying to fulfill it only to fail because 1) it’s a fantasy and 2) it’s not even your own.
Oh my goodness! This surprised me because I have never considered this about myself, and it is SO TRUE!!! I am a typical Meyers-Briggs ENFP personality type, always imagining the possibilities of situations and things. I have found that since I have had kids, that I don’t have the time for the hobbies that I IMAGINED myself doing... like, crocheting endless cute hats and sweaters for every child in my family, or actually completing a baby book for my 2nd or 3rd child, or making felt appliqué Christmas stockings... the list seems endless, and I only ever get as far as buying a shameful amount of stuff that clutters up my home in the process. What’s more, is I feel guilt or failure every time I see or think about those things. Ugh. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this video!!!
The "fantasy self" test is another good tool to declutter. My fantasy self has parties where I serve margaritas. I don't think I've used my margarita glasses more than once since I got them about 15 years ago :o)
welcome back 💖 nice to watch your video especially the parts you give away stuff... garage part is amazing. love and love it. very enjoy watching. Good. Stay healthy and stay happy.
Thank you :)
It's 2020 and I just watched this video. While de-cluttering, my jewelry gadgets (hooks for earrings, pins for beads, tools, etc) sparked joy......for my fantasy self. The real me spent one afternoon trying to create my own jewelry and gave up in frustration. A few years ago lol. So today, after watching this, I put all my fantasy self's jewelry creation clutter into the donate box in the garage. Yay! No more looking at it and feeling inadequate and guilty. The real me feels better already :)
This is probably the toughest video to watch. You're so vulnerable to share who and what you are letting go of, and the effort is appreciated. It's hard to look in the mirror and be honest; thank you for doing so in front of thousands of viewers and encourage us to do the same!
Just today I got rid of several business suits and formal wear. It was painful. But then I stumbled upon this video and now feel validated. Thank you thank you! ❤ Just became a new subscriber look forward to more great content 👍
Thank you Rachel. I just sat down and figured out who is my "fantasy self" was. It was really eye opening and a bit of a challenge. For others thinking about doing this it is so therapeutic.
Really cool concept. Thanks for sharing!
I love your videos. You are the most authentic "minimalist" UA-camr I have seen. You make this real. Thank you very much for inspiring this messy person, who is trying
to be minimalist!
My fantasy self is definitely a crafter, for sure. Also an avid reader and super fit person who can totally still fit into all of her old clothes. lol Sounds like I've got a few areas I can work on, too!
Yes my fantasy self is a painter i have painted few but when i started decluttering with you tow years ago i realized it does not bring me that joy so i gave all the convas and colors to a friend that likes it
So much hard truth. This is pretty hard to swallow, but I'll definitely give some real thought to this as I go through my own decluttering process. Thanks, Rachel.
This is exactly what I needed! I am going to face my fantasy self and relieve myself from a mental and physical clutter. Thank you so much!❤
You're very welcome :)
This was very helpful. The fantasy or aspirational self is a real thing. We buy and collect things for when we decide to become a great gardener or watercolorist. I bought a cheap watercolor set and then realized I had no talent. Your video touched on many reasons we all keep things that don’t serve us.
the white flowy sleeveless top actually looked comfy and cute ))
My fantasy self thought I would enjoy decorating a planner..so lots of dollars later, I find it boring and a waste of $$! ☹....also same for candlemaking!! 😕
Yay....Was hoping to see a video by you this week
I love this idea! & Great job!! I did this when I decluttered. I was the biggest DIYer you have ever come across! I could crochet (which I can actually do, just don't), refinish furniture, make DIY Christmas Gifts of all sorts, etc. I had an entire room and storage building dedicated to all of this, and it felt so good to declutter all of it!
I have lots of scrapbooking supplies and rubber stamps. I keep thinking I will do great things, but maybe that’s Fantasy Tricia. You’ve given me lots to think about.
I had watched Allison Anderson's video about decluttering the fantasy self and I loved it. So glad that you did a video, too. Didn't realize all the fantasy selves that I had. Will be working on decluttering them.
I missed you Real Rachel! So glad that you're feeling better and thank you for another great video 👍 I am now going to have a really good talk to Fantasy Sally see if she will take a long walk. . . . 😆
This absolutely rings true, I have heaps of Craft stuff that my fantasy self will one day do. I really need to clear out my Craft room big time.
This was such a powerful video! Our house is a wreck right now because our floors flooded, were ripped up and this cool gray plank tile goes down in 2 days. Yippy! And then we can start living in more than 2 rooms. I'm totally using this as stuff goes back into the rooms. Thanks! 💙
That was SPOT ON! I am an organized person in my fantasy only, as well. 🙄 Now I have a new decluttering goal.
This is amazing. I never heard of this....fantasy self. I have majorly purged for 2 years but this is life changing. Many things can go now hearing this....juicer, beautiful suit jackets, (I teach kinder) etc
I can see why you were tempted to keep the "Fantasy Rachel" clothes! They look great on you, it has definitely inspired me to take a look at a few of the "one day I'll wear this" clothes in my closet. Just because it looks good doesn't mean it works with my style, sending that stuff off into the world for someone else to look fab in would feel awesome compared to letting it sit around my house unused.
I love the idea of fantasy me vs real me! This is soooo true! It makes it easier for me to let go of things when I think this way!
Thanks! Take care
Vicki
Thank you! Fantasy me has all these hair products and flat irons, curlers...but real me wears hair just washed and blow dried with a little bit of product when I'm feeling "dressed up" and in a ponytail the rest of the time. Fantasy me has an hour to spend on hair, real me has 15 minutes if I'm lucky. Thank you for helping me see the real me just a little bit better!
Books! I have a vast collection of books I am never going to read again or feel like they are apart of me. Or books I know I don't have time to read. I love this idea of fantasy self its true we all have things we want to do or hobbies we wish we had more time for but instead we just collect junk! Thank you so much for this video hun!
This video hits just in time! Fantasy me is so good with crafts, she can turn junk into beautiful things she saw on Pinterest and can use her creativity there...I don't! I have to chose a real hobbie!
I've watched all your videos over the past few weeks & you have inspired me & given more great advice than any other organizer I've seen. Thank you so much!
Fantasy Carrie here.....I think this answered a lot of questions that have been hanging around with so much of that stuff I haven't been able to part with.....not use,just not able to part with....thank you so much for introducing me to fantasy Carrie... she has a lot of work to do and I will help her.......take good care ...
I envy your relatively stable point in life right now. I'm half in school and half working, so I keep two outfits I never wear except for interviews, maybe once a year. I hate how it throws off the versatility of my wardrobe. Sigh. I really enjoy your videos!
I can't believe how brave you are! You rock! Keep up the good work!
I love your honesty so much, and how all of this is about more than the "stuff".
This video helped me get rid of many things that I had trouble letting go of. I think this one is my fav just because it really was a break through!! Now before I even bring a new thing into my home I'm able to decide if it's ME or fantasy me that will enjoy it.
I LOVE your videos, and this has been one of your best. I did something similar last weekend when I called myself out for holding onto things I'll never realistically use/wear/need. Putting this into a formal exercise is brilliant. I think it will help alot of people get over those final decluttering hurdles. Im so glad you chose to do this one, Rachel!
I had anxiety even hearing all you were letting go of, lol. But after you set it out I could see myself doing it. Thanks!
That was a wonderful video. I ended up buying so many cosmetics and makeup, clothes n shoes for my fantasy self. Thanks to the influence of social media and beauty and fashion blogs and channels for making me waste so much money. And thanks for all the project pan and minimalist bloggers and channels to make mr finally open my eyes. Lol
Oh my! You made me realize that I have quite a few "fantasy selfs". Time to get rid of them. Thank you.
Great video! I can SO relate! I’ve retired, & though I have gotten rid of loads of clothes, I still have huge amounts left. I no longer attend professional meetings, stand before a college class daily, or do countless other activities necessitating that wardrobe. But it is SO hard to get rid of perfectly lovely clothes I really like! Now with the pandemic, I really have nowhere to go! And, yes, I have many of the same “fantasy selves” you have. Thanks for sharing & motivating me.
Loved this! Fantasy Wendy really is going to start home workouts or maybe even join the gym again. Afterall, she has all this workout gear that she NEVER wears 😂 plus she has beautiful cookbooks yet hates cooking 😂
Great video. I've known for a long time that my "fantasy self" and "real self" were two COMPLETELY different people. While I don't have an overcrowded kitchen, I do have a lot of bakeware that I rarely ever use. And I just don't do a lot of cooking either. I could probably empty out a cabinet or two. Then I'd have room to store more paper crafts, which is something "Real Sabrina" actually does. Lol
Thank you very much for this video. If I'm honest, I have this stuff too. (Language kits for languages I won't learn, weights I won't lift, fabric I won't quilt, make up I'm not brave enough to wear etc). Thank you for the motivation to let it go.
Thanks for opening up a new interesting part of declutering.
Thanks for the awesome video! I felt like you were reenacting my experience at the beginning of summer when I realized I didn't need 10 planters for my fantasy flower garden. As I was watching your video, I glanced over at my bookshelf and there were two balls of yarn and a knitting needle. They were there because I couldn't figure out where to put them. After watching the video, I gave them to my daughter, who is much better at knitting than I am. So much for my fantasy of knitting blankets and scarves! But I feel so much better.
One of my favorites from you by far. I will go check out the inspirational video as well. I love how you incorporate discussion and application. I started my journey in minimalism two years before you and have gone through all the stages you are going through. BUT your videos give me the courage to go back, reevaluate and take it to the next level. I've said goodbye to so many fantasy selves throughout the years and I'm a better me than ever. ❤️
Thank you for this video! It was SO helpful!! Fantasy me plays records on a record-player, grows seedings on his kitchen windowledge, reads about Art History, cooks with lentils, needs lots of chalkboard and poster pens because needs to make last-minute posters and display boards... etc
Real truths here that I needed to hear! It's time to re=evaluate the amount of crafting things I kept when I did my preliminary purge. Still too much and I KNOW my fantasy self is not going to be crafting seven days a week which is what I would have to do to work my way through all I kept! Thank you.
Fantastic vdo Rachel. Even i am a hoarder of things for my fantasy self. By the way, you looked awesome in those dresses. Throw a party to itself and wear them. You look too good in them.😍
Yay!!! So glad you posted! You are my fave youtuber! Fantasy me had held on to furniture galore because fantasy me is good at remodeling and repurposing old furniture... I just got rid of most of it last week!! Your videos have motivated me so much! so relatable😅
YES YES YES! I know that fantasy so well. I've gotten rid of a lot of furniture this past year as well. So far, no regrets at all! Good luck!!
Last year I got into macrame. I made half a curtain but the string wasn't right so I threw it away. I also made a plant pot hangar which has been on my verandah, without a plant, for around 9 months. It was ugly and I always intended taking it apart and remaking it. It's now in the bin. Thanks Rachel!
I love how honest you are, your video's are great to have in the background while I am doing crafts, the kind I actually do and enjoy ;)
It was really interesting to watch this video! My Fantasy Self loves to read, and sew (lots of fabrics, ribbons...). I decluttered all of this some time ago :)
Blessings of health to you and your pup, I hope you both - *scratch that* - you ALL stay healthy and well ☺ 💗 Also, SUCH a helpful video, I've watched it twice already and I'm sure I'll watch it a few more times still to keep me inspired and on the right track 👍