Tex saves the Habsburg dynasty [Part 3] - Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts
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- Опубліковано 4 кві 2024
- #ultimateadmiraldreadnoughts #ultimateadmiral #blackpantslegion
This is not a serious take on naval history, but more a shitpost thereof. Please take everything I say with a grain of salt.
I'm sorry, Elmo Zumwalt.
The game is Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts: store.steampowered.com/app/10...
In Ultimate Admiral: Dreadnoughts you play as the head of a navy doing what the head of navies do best - spend entirely too much money on holes in the water, or, in laymans terms, ships. You can design very stupid things. I do this.
Music from Epidemic Sound - www.epidemicsound.com - Ігри
![Tex saves the Habsburg dynasty [Part 4] - Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/2Zc0OnGzqdQ/mqdefault.jpg)
![Tex saves the Habsburg dynasty [Part 4] - Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts](/img/tr.png)
Tex, please. The ship of Theseus is a thought experiment, not a naval doctrine.
not with that attitude it isnt 😂
I think to really embrace the spirit of the dynasty you need successive generations of warship that are very closely related to one another. Practically siblings even
With massive prows.
@@foxp2483 Leading the fleet chin first
I just need a sonar bubble on the front of mah ship
Gotta have that excessive Hapsburg Torpedo Bulge
Hehe " bulge"
Picric acid: "It's a lively one, and it does not like the human skeleton."
Halifax: "Our everything is burning."
Portal 2 *nods* Noice.
Lovecraft and King now writing about the masters out over the water who whisper in a thousand alien tongues and come riding iron cauldrons. To feed their victims strange soups.
"Ya, ya! Ghoul-lash! Ghoul-lash! Gib'mir'mare Ghoul-lash!"
The scribbled writings of a semi-drowned Italian sailor of the AHE Navy, ca 1905
Somehow, an non-anglophile HP Lovecraft terrorizes me.
"Is this cursed? Yes. Will I stop? No." is the exact energy I expect from BPL vids, and are words to live by lol.
that really is the BPL energy that attracts us
Lol "Do some math, I know there's schools..."
*10 minutes earlier*
"Our training funding is down to 40% which should be fiiiinnnee..."
Even in an alternate universe the Bureau of Ordnance can't get their torpedoes to work
First Italy, now Austria-Hungry! Maine cannot catch a break. Time for Lobster-Schnitzel and Red Snapper Hotdog Paprikash!
"If it's an embarrassment but it works then put on the clown suits and hold my picric acid." - anonymous Hapsburg Admiral
i love texes approach of "yes these are an obsolete abomination of naval design - but if this bothers you so much, you gotta sink em yourself" XD
The American navy with 100 languages in each ship.
Phillipino and Spanish captains just casually insulting and threatening eachother.
Haitian destroyers occasionally lose the odd Torpedo when French subs are around.
Any Squadron stationed in South America is made up of 17 varieties of Latino most of whom hate eachother.
Irish manned battlecruisers are ready and willing to blow up London at a moments notice.
The Italian Squadron is feared throughout the world
U.S.S. Alaska is famous for being the first naval ship with an indigenous captain. He wasn't given the appointment; he simply climbed aboard when the previous captain rammed through the ice flow he was walking across. Following an argument which neither side understood and an Oregonian being thrown overboard, the ship had new management. He gives orders exclusively in glares and regularly threatens people with a harpoon, but he's doing a decent job.
That Pablo Escobar in a pickelhaub and THAT sort of mustache is a cursed thought.
Tex always sounds so happy when he gets access to picric acid.
Ah the clam chowder Ghoulash navy goes forth
pro tip 20 4 inch guns on a scout cruiser at this era is pantsshittingly scary
In this episode: Admiral Tex avenges the death of Emperor Maximillian I Hapsburg of Mexico.
I liked the Andrey Pervozvanny class pre-dreadnought on the loading slide at 1:02:00 The strange fortresslike midsection appeals to me, as well as the fact that she was sunk by cheapo torpedo boats in accordance with Texian naval doctrine
Tex you absolute genius! I cannot stop watching these. The humor is top notch and the fact that history is tossed in is chefs kiss. But please activate the border highlight thing so we can see the heretical shape of the Austro Hungarian empire
I love the absolute insanity of the boat class, Admiral Tex is becoming one of the hight light of the week..... keep up the shenanigans
I think it's poetic the empire which out stayed it's welcome and is long in the tooth is keeping a navy that's out staying is welcome and is long in the tooth
That "American Exceptionalism" campaign is obscene.
I am about that far in my own American campaign, only a small sliver of Germany is left and Japan was untouched until they drop their alliance recently.
All my ships are really expensive but my current fleet right now is 43BB, 25 BC, 55CA, 110CL, 320DD and 100 of the best submarines and I still have over a trillion in reserve.
Fun fact I kept a battle ship class of 8 called "Throat Punch USA" class from 1907 to 1948 and served admirably even taking out battleships over twice its 23,000 tonnage. Its was a great ship, just had to keep it at long range.
Never really took exceptionalism as overt aggression, more just being contrarian to european fads
@DIEGhostfish french: we 'Ave a chezz board and wine what do you have
American: Nacho cheese. And beer, while watching a sport. Beat that!
@@DIEGhostfish fads like workers rights, human rights and sustainable urban design? XD
"We made this!"
America: ".......we own this"
Honestly not all that different except we just had no one to tell us "no". I imagine they did at some point but Tex can clearly be a bit contrarian at times and US GDP go BRRRRRT
In this version of history the Fish people aren't from an isolated village but an isolated aristocracy.
The smonk heralds the approach of doom.
"My guys are shooting at movement" is also how your players went through Magistratus Mundanus
Austrian Colombia.
That’s… a thing.
Hapsburg governance returning to Colombia is amusing
I managed my first complete playthrough a week ago as China, all the way to the end, without getting fired or curb stomped into oblivion. It was a lot of panic, and a lot of not getting annihilated by the French.
However, now I am playing Germany as I like to roll the dice and let them decide what nation I am playing. The current operation is "If it belongs to France, no it doesn't."
So...I cannot help but observe that New Providence has managed to throw off British sovereignty and remain officially ungoverned since 1906, while Britain also appears to be losing quite a few transports in the North Atlantic.
I can only conclude that, somehow, almost two centuries later, the Pirate Republic has resurfaced and *is WINNING.*
"Klangenfurt" is the sound of all of Tex's ship conducting their customary pre-battle hull bumps.
This timeline is even weirder for Odesa than the regular one, definitely looking forward to seeing my hometown churn out beasts of steel for the glory of Habsburgs
"Klagenfurt" is a town in Carinthia. Great place to visit, bad place to live. Carinthia is Austria's Florida.
Fun fact: The town's name translates to "ford of woes" which is pretty metal.
That abrupt cut to "and then audio problems, so here's a quick summary of Austrian-Hungarian shenanigans" really felt like something out of a Monty Python sketch. And then Maine kicked the weirdos out, but then said Weirdos took Borneo from Japan! It only cost a Battleship to do so, but otherwise a fair trade.
1:34:19 I for one would join the BPL to crowdfund a show where Mr Tex travels around America and then South East Asia (or/and thereafter elsewhere around the world) to see things, eat food, and talk random interesting history, geography, etc.
I think it'll be great - even when Tex stays off to one side out of view of the camera while he laconically talks, while other BPL folks are videoed just hanging out with Tex as part of the adventure.
i got to see the invasion of spain live one day when tex popped in the discord voice chat and started ship posting it was fucking glorious
Good morning sailors! 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡
All hands, man your battlestations!!
Full ahead and MAKE SMONK!!! 💨💨💨💨💨
When you finally build new cruisers the NEED to be named " Bigger Bote "!!
It needs to be!
"and I doubt they would have fleet problems capable of understanding any of this"
Glorious
Just what my friday morning needed. Thanks tex!
I've been watching your stuff from the beginning, and I still love it, keep truckin, you are an American Treasure. You make this old jarhead giggle.
Glorious longplay! Thank you for doing something you adore and edutaining us at the same time.
Chimichurri is indeed awesome. There's an empanada place near me and they carry it as a dipping sauce.
This is by far my favorite series on youtube! SS13 was my favorite but this is not just funny but much zen.
Love this video series. Thanks Tex. Your humor and gaming style is fun to watch. Plus your general and expert knowledge of the subject matter makes it almost worth buying and playing the game. :)
Much appreciation for another banger
Is that the Goat?
Tex: Now my guys are at Knife fight distance.
ME: KNIFE FIGHT CITY!
YEEEEEESSSS! Omg perfect timing... i realize you release these late at night a lot... and it's always good timing for me.... (-_-) where are the cameras in my house!? =D
Scrapping a ton of Torpedo Boats not realizing you sent 10 BB's to hang out at sea by the Suez for giggles to intercept a theoretical asian fleet that was no where on the radar.
A Big Dreadnought with only Torpedoes..
Or a hundred small ships each carrying 10 torpedoes each, travel really fast, deliver the torps and then flees.
Ooh Tex speaking Swedish!
One way to pronounce it is S-ve-ri-ge. Ve as in We. Ri as in Riches. Ge as in Ge-Force.
Indeed. What do you expect from a woodland-sea-faring people? You should see our Subs and modern jets 😏
ADD: Regarding the recipie... What the hell does " _put on a jar_ " mean?
I'm loving this series.
these goofy campaigns are the best. keep it up.
William Burjan (Alternate History Bill Burr): "Why the FUUUUUCK is there goulash in Boston!?"
"The Reaver" is a cool title actually
Alternate history is why I watch you play this
Objective of navy: keep people away from your shores.
Patrol the Mediterranean, and be a weirdo
Japan would be a cool playthrough, but it's more obvious than Italy or Austro Hungary. Too bad there's not a mod for the HRE. Now there'd be a challenge.
Not wise, suggested, or sane
Goulash in Boston
"By my waxed mustache, no."
US thinks you're still playing Italy.
Just in time to get me through my shitty job that's getting me through college. Thank you tex, your oration gets me through my life.
"Go ahead and do a search for p. a." Then stop the time it takes until some three letter agency knocks down your door. ;)
Love you tex. Finally took the plunge on watching these videos. And it caused me to buy the game Finally. After doing the naval academy for a while, now on my first campaign as the Japanese.
Would love to see your yacht club playthrough.
I think it's a good time to point out that Franz Ferdinand wanted to use the main guns of a Battleship to hunt whales while out to sea.
I would love to see the house Steiner approach to this game
It's kinda vulnerable to mines, once those start showing up, because they won't let you mount any mine clearing equipment aside from triple hulls, torpedo bulges, and water pumps.
Mind, you're going to want those anyway as torpedo ranges start getting up there.
I'm not sure that's viable. The Steiner approach involves building a stupid amount of high quality large war machines and sending them into the enemy. This only works for Steiner because they're a massive merchant alliance loaded to the gills with endless money.
I decided to try it out. I've conquered half the planet as japan ive never built anything smaller than a heavy cruiser. Good stuff@@dutchvanderlinde248
My grandfather was an orphan after ww1, and said he remembered they fed him lobster so much he couldn't eat it
I remember watching a history program that mentioned prison riots because of the excessive amounts of lobster being served.
@@trentonarney6066 yeah, up until his death, well after he had a successful life. He couldn't eat lobster.
"Coastal defence ships aren't meant to cross the ocean"
HMVS Cerberus would beg to disagree.
Well considering it did not go through the Atlantic ocean to get to Australia i would say it did not cross an ocean, just multiple seas with many pitstops.
@@NightLexic true but the trip was certainly unprecedented
Yeah, the updated Heller design was slightly better, but at triple the cost to build and maintain.
I'm sure the Navy guys loved it, but the accountants were crying in a corner.
On the one hand, he could have just paused the refits if he was worried about the immediate costs.
On the other, It'll probably take less time and cost about the same to build better ships from scratch.
Tex: "I have these new ports and they are mine."
Me: Menthol is a hell of a drug.
Austro Hungary has one of my favorite Hulls. Their version of the Modernized Dreadnought is slow, but ludicrously durable, packs ample Deckspace, and can exceed 90,000 tons. With Citadel 4, Torp Protection 4, and Triple Hull, the damn thing scores a high enough resistance to achieve -80% Damage from guns. So long as you keep it to 22-24 Knots top speed, you can mount 7x 16.9 inch dual barreled turrets centerlined on the deck. You can also pull off a 28 inch belt/deck with an all or nothing armor scheme + Citadel.
I can't help but think fewer triple turrets and a smaller citadel* would be better. Yes, lower fire rate, slower turret rotation, and a slight ding to accuracy, but even so.
* Yes, you save displacement by keeping all your important stuff in a smaller portion of the ship; hanging turrets at the end of the hull can get you wider firing arcs or help balance the hull, but doing so will also make your citadel bigger, its armor heavier, and generally make it easier to hit.
@@boobah5643You want the turrets on the end of the ship to maximize the protection provided by the Citadel. That, and doing so significantly cuts back on your pitch & roll.
The ding to your accuracy isn't insignificant, especially given that stability isn't exactly that particular hull's strong suit.
Oh hey, the Austro-Hungarian polka cover of Fortunate Son is great! I’d love to hear the full version.
its in the credits
An asymmetrical masterpiece.
the only way for the torpedo booats to cros the ocean is by tying them together for better seaworthyness
I'm currently doing a run as America where I tunneled to get Battlecruiser tech in 1910, turns out very fast, very heavily armed warships work very well when your enemy can't aim right.
Good work tex, Love watching you waffle on about botes while eating my oats. keep it up!
As someone who works daily with toulene, it's some spicey stuff. Great for washing crude oil off your hands and gear. Not recommended to do when a smoker though. Thankfully it evaporates quickly, you just got to deal with the smell.
Intro was awesome.
Also thanks for sparing your northern neighbor. Have some maple syrup. On the house.
love it!!!
How have I only just noticed Yarmouth is down as a port. Always fun to see the home town show up, but no way in hell are warships docking there.
you have a great voice i assume that is you singing cooool !
Can always rely on the bpl to enable my sleep procrastination with 4am uploads
This is fantastic stuff...
But i gotta admit, id love some more magistratum mundanus....
Happy easter, love you all!!!
American History: Remember the Maine! American Alt-History: Remember Maine?
1:37:34 I am pretty sure that there was a typo, but the idea of the Kaiser putting on the Ritz to the Americans to get them to back off and agree to peace is really, really funny.
The Bote Class, the HBK-4G of the Med & Atlantic, circa 1907.
Nah, more like a Hollander. JUST the big ass weapon (torpedo in this case) at the cost of all else. The Hunchie is actually good as a long term design.
@@dutchvanderlinde248 The Hollander at least as range on its side, something the Bote lacks, though I see your point. Hunchback IIC it is.
Majestic murica
(No hitman stream from Tex) (No hitman stream from Tex) (Uncontrollable sobbing)
Chimichurri is pretty darn good though I prefer it as a marinade and seasoning rather than a sauce.
"France, Germany, and Austro-Hungary are one power bloc now"
+cue generations of British statesmen dying of apoplexy+
I am less than three minutes into this video. Tex's personal run of American exceptionalism is just that, exceptional.
But now I must wonder: Is Tex's run here what started the nations of the Earth to be finally united into one, grand Super Earth? I am hard pressed to find anything else that could have broken through the morasse of human existence and unified all of the disparate elements of humanity into one unified front that must one day find another foe to turn it's ire upon.
After the people of Earth were unified, what other course was there but to become somehow better, somehow above the rest, some kind of Super Earth?
After the unification, there must have been backlash, for no perfect system is without it's dissidents. How many propagators of falsehood had to fall before before the truth could shine through? Long wars must have been fought against these naysayers, these heretics, for they spoke against the Truth and their voices spoke to the dissolution of everything, they spoke only of the individuality that had led humanity astray for so long. Their silence was not a punishment, but a mere mercy that had been held at bay for too long.
And what awaited our laudable rise? What awaited us in our inexorable expansion into the stars? More naysayers. Those who would break from our great Enhanced Democracy and seek to shirk their responsibility to spread it across the sea of stars! They fell quickly, but made pale imitations of our great Humanity to fight against the truth!
They would be cast down, though their sins would be manifold.
What else did the Legion of Democracy, the Hammer of Morality find in their grand pilgrimage across the starry sea? Fel creatures that sought to obscure the light of Democracy with their wiles. Though it took many battles, and many lives, they too were vanquished.
Though humanity, fighting for liberty and all things that were right had overcome many an adversary, we had not seen the end of conflict yet.
Another foe had set it's sights upon the gleaming beacons of freedom and liberty, and wished to quell their scintillating light. A tide of insectile beings became another of Super Earth's foes.
These once docile creatures began to eviscerate the agricultural hand of Super Earth, and by extention, attempt to dim Her glorious light. Raid by raid, they sought to extinguish humanity, and through many punitive actions, Super Earth repelled them.
Enhanced Democracy now balances on a knife edge. Though many have fought and fallen, our mission is as clear now as it has ever been. We, the Democratically alloted forces of Super Earth must ever go forth unto the breach, to close shut the jaws of dissention and disarray. We must drop upon our foes like the great, heavy hammer of everything that is right.
I accept this mantle, do you? For only now do I realize what it truly means to be a Helldiver.
If the Bote-class is such an embarrassment, then what about the USN? Checkmate, Mainers.
When this series started for some reason i thought Tex was making a much more normal fleet then his Italian campaign....... I was mistaken.
Idea: pick a high industry nation and build only small boats. Torpedoes, destrpyers and smaller cruisers
Add on: you Must fit atleast one of the biggest guns you can on every ship
Klagenfurt is indeed a real place in southern Austria
"The United States and Italy are now fighting, which is.... Why?"
Because the Americans got Austro Hungry and Italy mixed up, and they meant to be at war with Italy this whole time. Don't worry, it could just as easily been Greece.
"Every country is American" yes Tex, just like real life 😂
Cooking is a science. And I will try the reicpe. Thank you.
HP Lovecraft was in Brooklyn and Providence. Never Maine, I don't think. But i like the idea still.
Star Trek says Unified Ireland by 2030... No pressure My Irish Cousins...
The Kingdom of Brance.
I'd enjoy reading some books by Stephen Double King
Hey tex, love watching these horrifyingly amusing movies. Do you think this game would make a good background for a short little naval history series from the legion?
If you can knock out Cthulhu by ramming him in sure 8 inch guns would work.
Thank you for letting Canada exist
Technically it wasn't Canada who burnt the White House down, it was British troops allied with Canada who invaded Washington in retaliation to USA burning down a few Political buildings in Upper Canada earlier in the war.
But sure we'll take that win, I mean there is a whole section of the Geneva Convention because of us in WW1 so...
Funny enough I only learned of the Rainbow Warplans because of board gaming. One year someone gifting me a copy of Avalon Hill's Plan Black.
Exceptionalism is such a broad term, to me it usually just means "Not doing what's popular in europe at the time."
And taking over the world was super popular in europe at the time, so it feels a little conformist
American torpedoes continue to be a meme...
"Klagenfurt" is a Austrian town near Lake Wörthersee. The town's name could roughly be translated to "ford of laments". ("ford of accusations" or "ford of complaints" might be offered by some online translators, but is ethymological wrong.)
Citadel 2, gives you more belt armor. Crank like 12" total