Tex saves the Habsburg dynasty [Part 4] - Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts
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- Опубліковано 25 вер 2024
- #ultimateadmiraldreadnoughts #ultimateadmiral #blackpantslegion
This is not a serious take on naval history, but more a shitpost thereof. Please take everything I say with a grain of salt.
I'm sorry, Elmo Zumwalt.
The game is Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts: store.steampow...
In Ultimate Admiral: Dreadnoughts you play as the head of a navy doing what the head of navies do best - spend entirely too much money on holes in the water, or, in laymans terms, ships. You can design very stupid things. I do this.
Music from Epidemic Sound - www.epidemicso...
![Tex saves the Habsburg dynasty [Part 5] - Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/w2B5JgmAxjI/mqdefault.jpg)
![Tex saves the Habsburg dynasty [Part 5] - Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts](/img/tr.png)
"As stable as the pile of plates in your sink, so let's go clean those"
Thank you Tex... I was genuinely thinking about how I needed to do that...
Tex, you've made your navy into the evolutionary equivalent of a endurance pursuit predator.
Also my headcannon is theres a bounty on ships in your navy, where if you sink a battleship you gain a noble title. Leading to a rapidly proliferation of a gamblers culture in your navy to make up for not having a naval tradition
Other nations navies: “For the Homeland!”
Tex’s Navy: “Roger Roger”
they need to pull out some b1 battle droids from star wars for some slapstick comedy on deck 🤣
Tex: and here’s Afghanistan the angry kitty!
Afghanistan: (sad cat noises)
"... And the other half are for the luls"
That explains the Zumwhalt
Apparently this also explains the entire LCS program.🤦♂
And the America Class amphibs.
For Lols explains the existance of Van Zandt.
@@DeridusNahh that's just to ensure that the first and second largest naval aviation contingents are American.
"why are you going to war over food and spices?"
It's either vittles or money, and vittles are the better reason
"Sir! We're being attacked by 100 U-Boats!"
"What?! The Germans don't have a quarter of that, let alone in these waters. Let me see...no..."
"What is it, sir? Sir?"
"Dios ayudanos... Wilhelm's torpedo boats have found us..."
Speaking of Austro-Chinese fusion cuisine, I can confirm from personal experience that pork schnitzel with ground Szechuan pepper added to the breading is delicious.
Toss some country gravy on top and that'd sound divine!
My mouth waters at the thought of it.
@@corwinhyatt519 & @vaillencourt Holy fuck I have a food boner. And my stomach is growling IRL. Thanks for that.
Is that a thing
@@mikemcghin5394 I dunno, but I'm going to make it next time I do a grocery run.
I love how most of Tex conquests are motivated by his stomach
spaghetti al assassina, per favore...
'An army marches on it's stomach"
@@Coconut-219 I have, to my dismay, visualised a bunch of soldiers waddling on their stomachs, atrofied legs waving ineffectually in the air.
See, each of those 100+ torpedo boats spoke a different language of Austro Hungary
Seems legit.
"Allgemeines Quartier!"
"Što je rekao?"
"Hoće li četvrtinu nečega?"
"Proč si povídali, jsme v bitvě!"
"Czekaj, z kim znowu walczymy?"
"Ar kas nors matė mūsų torpedų užtaisus?"
"Hei, cine a lăsat aceste încărcături cu torpile aici?"
"Komu práve začala horieť paluba?"
"Kahretsin! Güvertem yine yanıyor!"
-One of the many shouted conversations which occurred during the formation of the formation during the fight. Do note: this isn't even all 14 of the Empire's officially recognized languages.
26:24 "I want people to be able to join me in my SHIP posting." -Tex
Top tier, good Sir. Top Tier indeed!
"If I get my battleships there; then I can work my magic. And by magic; I mean war crimes."
Gwad, I enjoy this series!
The American way.
In today's episode: Tex's great tax write-off.
How to retire a Fleet by Tex a Naval Doctrine.
Babe, wake up, Tex is playing ultimate admiral dreadnoughts again!
Space Invaders as naval doctrine.
The best strategy ever.
Tex makes ships that wobble so much it looks like they're trying to dodge shells
Matrix dodge by accident
His Italian torpedo boats were bobbing so much they looked like harbor buoys during a hurricane. Just straight up and down. It was at least a partial physics glitch. They put it in the intro for the Italian playthrough. 🤣
The refits will continue until morale improves
Good thing about pain waking you up: first click to a new Tex Plays.
Good thing about insomnia; you're still up.
@@America_Yea Get better, boys.
Asking the Hapburger fleet to not hit each other is a battle that cannot be won.
Because its their royal duty to ram their sister ships.
I wrapped up my American battlecruiser run in 1930, it was extremely silly watching battlecruisers outrun, outshoot and out-tank just about everything up until the British navy deployed relatively modern vessels.
Also silly, 30s Britain 50k ton battleships losing to American battleships in from 1907.
Hey Tex, looking forward to the next Tex talks history, my girlfriend adored the first one and we have adopted the 7 safety meme.
The sun shall never set on the paprika scented empire!
Primary Objective, fire torpedoes
Secondary Objective, vacate naval budget
3 hours of bote while I pretend to work? Thank you, Admiral.
That is an amazing conga line dance of doom, you just keep sending me... I mean ships at the enemy till they reach their preset kill limit and shut down, I think you should have Kif, I mean the editor, show us the medal you won
Part of me was hoping he'd bandbox select all those individually operating boats, click the 'AI On' button, turn off collision avoidance, and just sit back to watch the entire fleet come running in like a horde of feral dogs and make that patch of sea briefly more high explosives than water.
Bout to sit down and paint a SU-100 model assault gun and I needed something on in the background that isn't too intense but interesting and this appeared 43 seconds ago. Ah, perfect timing for the perfect vid.
While I agree with Tex that extending the timeline earlier into the 1860s would be great, I think what this game *really* needs is a way to pre-arrange squadrons and formations before hitting 'play' on the combat screen so you avoid the demolition derby as everyone tries to reposition.
The absolutely wonderful sound of Tex's disappointment with the maneuvers at the start of battles always makes me laugh
26 minutes, Tex speaks of friends.
If you supply a nation with ships, those ships will come to bat for you. I once supplied the ottomans and in return they sent their megafleet any time someone got lippy with me.
Ottoman stronk.
Admiral Tex of the Regia Marina learned that lesson the hard way. "A minor power" the government said, "supporting terrorists" the government said, "an easy fight" the government said...
A mix of Hungarian goulash with Japanese curry in this alternative timeline could actually be pretty good...
Sushischnitzel?
bote is the ship version of the hunchback... insane... simple... and in continous service for ages XD
あなたの偉大な神が千匹のシラミの子孫を送り、あなたのへそに巣を作りますように
またはそのような趣旨のもの
well damn...
Do what in my navel?
isekai manga book title or cake recipe? could be both...
That's harsh, Hirohito. What'd the Austro-Hungarians do to you? Raid the curry?
@@Deridus r/シューッという音
You and your boats have given me a reason not to sleep now, damn you admiral Tex.
I am now eagerly awaiting an 85 hour Tex Talks History.
My own Habsburg run ended in 1951, kept one of my 1890s Battleships until it got sunk in the '40s. The game said I was completely bankrupt, but I still had about thirty turns of burn, and it was mass refitting my old designs to modern oil that seemed to kill my economy.
"Japan is trying to be a dick..."
Did anyone else hear that as, 'Kurita is being a dick...' ?
The Bote class will one day fight the Borg at Wolf 359 alongside the B-52 at this point...
The grandfather of the last B52 pilot has not yet been born.
The KuK KM did have a class of semi-dreadnoughts that did stalwart service in the shore bombardment role during WW1 in Montenegro and Italy, but it was only 3 ships. Much like you suggested the rationale for their design was in part cost, in part the limit of 16K tons on the Trieste naval yards. They were originally planned to be all big gun, but displacement proved prohibitive, but were they built, they would have been the earliest dreadnought design. As it stands, they launched with 2x2 12" for and aft and 4x2 9.6" in corner positions.
A massive naval collision in the first thirty seconds of actual game. Of course.
- The Conga Line of Doom is iconic. I'm curious to see how effective line abreast would be with the massive torpedo boat fleet.
"I fart in the shower and giggle" LOL
Oh God!
The Kreigslatrine!;
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"Sir! We have kicked him right in the rudder bits!"
Oh Tex, no need to cut. I’m pretty sure at this point that most, if not all of us, will watch the whole 6 and a half hour video.
Ah yeas the saga of Boat continues
Jokes on you, I wash my dishes after eating! It's a big household, so it's an "after all meals" sort of deal. Also cats can't have any of the spices I like, and these fuzzy little gremlins just don't get the memo to stay out of the sink.
He did say that he would tell the devs to keep doing what they're doing, but I have this feeling that deep down.. he wants them to fix the way fleets move into formations. Knights clatter and shuffle and make clangy noises. Ships shouldn't do the same thing.
Look, when training budgets are down, are you gonna focus more on the steering or the shooting?
@@Jonnyg325 So it's like sparring with those cushioned staves but with 10s/100s ton displaced bathtubs.
While it could be improved, the sad/amusing truth is that ships did regularly collide during maneuvers back then. When you make a mistake with a 15,000 ton ship, you usually have about 30 seconds to regret it before it actually bites you.
The Golden Fleece boats can play bumper cars, as a treat!
“The best part of waking up…is Tex controls the Seas…”
Gawd the man is a naval Genius…Please Admiral Tex, do a play through with Mahan as President with TR following up and see just how crazy a jingoistic USA COULD have been! (And you guys thought the 20th was bad…. It could have been SOOOO MUCH WORSE!!!)
I mean, South America would look a LOT better than it does...and maybe some of Asia
spotting team on battleship "sir theres a snake of destroyers coming right at us"
- the snake
Just last night I wrapped up my 6th campaign. I played China and for the first time I ended it with a "Battleship" class "Experimental Turret Ship" from 1890 still afloat and throwing lead in the 1950's. It had 12" guns, gas turbine engines, a turtle back armor scheme, all of its casemate guns, a 25 knot top speed, and the same Captain. I had it paired up with my 89,000 ton Super Battleship from the late 40's.
A monitor and a Warhammer 40k battleship, that's a good pairing
I like History. I LOVE Tex’s History. I also LOVE garlic Baloney. 😂
Omg lol..."it's has completed its second objective.......which is leave my naval budget" that's fucking golden.
Tex's obsession with designing half-submarines is fascinating. Most of his boats spend more time underwater than above even before the enemy puts any holes in them.
uss monitor moments
"For the sake of brevity, shitpost." -Tex, 2024
How would you even justify the upgrade of a pre-dreadnought in the 50s? Imagine the faces of the government when suggesting this
- That's to suggest a politician actually knows the difference between a cruiser and a destroyer.😂
@@BlueMarten True, but imagine they flip through the files and notice the launch date
@@Panzerfan93 😆 - Decrepit Politician see launch date: "Oh I was born that year!"
@@BlueMarten The US Navy had a history in the 19th century of convincing Congress to 'refit' a ship and when Congress forked over the cash, the Navy took something like the ship's bell off and built an otherwise new ship around it.
@@boobah5643 that's amazing! 😆
I was introduced to you through old man reacts through your battletech lore and i got to say coming to your channel and finding actually good wh40k tabletop was a wondrous suprise
I love how his reasoning for invading places boils down to "think of the food"
90% of Torpedo Boat Captains give up before sinking that one huge Capital Ship.
Keep Gambling!
And on top of cleaning your sink, if you own the house and have a preassure washer, invest in a drain cleaner hose.
A thin, flexible,roughly 25-50yard long preassure hose that connects to the muzzle end of the preassure washer and has a round fixed or rotating brass knob with two or more rearward facing nozzles at the buisness end.
This hose is to be used at least every three years and whenever you get a blockage.
The hose is inserted from a service access downstream of the drain blockage. (Ie the street side so that you don't risk to flood your house/basement before you can clear the blockage.)
The cost of the drain hose and preassure washer will be less than a single call for professional emergency drain cleaners as long as you are gentle to your pipes, be especially gentle if if you have older cast iron or ceramic plumbing, those can be brittle as fuck...
A moment of silence please for Tex’s poor computer during that torpedo boat battle
I love the line. It's a boat. Made of..... boat.. stuff. Tex you are killing me.
I am never going to unsee goofy on the map 😂
I love your torpedo boats, they really do remind me of the pile of little pool toys my toddler likes to play with at the local Y, but (slightly) more dangerous.
"torpedo boat apocalypse" this needs to be a t-shirt bro
after watching a dumb series based on my favorite game series I'm glad Texas here to make up for the lazy Riders
Fluffy kitty and angry kitty =D goofys neck! I looked at these shapes and damn it, i'll never be able to unsee it now =D thanks again Tex you madman.
Granted all the ironclad stuff would be fun but I’d settle for a wrap around world map.
When your options are submarine, razorblades or refit, I'd expect bote to accept the very latter as many times as possible.
I'm actually in the middle of a US campaign. Currently January 1947, and it's been.....an interesting timeline.
- Had half of Europe at my doorstep on the Atlantic seaboard for a bit in the early 1930s
- Had a prolonged war with the USSR for a few years after that; to which I took half of Siberia from them, and I invaded central Russia, Moscow is in American hands.
- Early 1940s all of Europe erupted into war, Britian & Germany both dissolved after suffering economic collapse, I am currently taking England for myself.
My last playthrough saw Spain, the USSR and Italy dissolve. I, as the German Fleet, have managed to keep my original 1890's Battleships fighting (and winning!) up to the mid '20's. I also have a Coastal Defense vessel, the "Cancerous," that continuously claps everything below Dreadnaughts.
I'm loving this.
Nearly 3h of A-H naval madness, perfect for housekeeping chores!
See , your method of teaching history is amazing. I have learned more about detailed bits of history that I may have never heard of even though I am an avid reader. The Christmas video helped me really understand a Person/situation i had only heard referenced too, but never remembered when looking for a topic to look into - if this babble makes sense. any how, your method of filling the stream with history is greatly appreciated.
Joke's on you, Mr. Tex. I had taken care of my Pisa's tower of plates right before watching.
Why does it feels like Tex understands strategic theory better than the vast majority of actual military generals/admirals today
Tex, I am fairly sure your Torpedo Boat crews all receive the Hapsburg equivalent of the Medal of Honor upon assignment to one of them.
Heavy cruisers tend to be a waste of money at best. They just don't have what it takes for a fight and give oodles of victory points. The only use I have found for them is as literal paper weights for naval invasions but I always escort them with battleships. When engaging in battle, I usually order the CAs to away from the fight while the BBs do the real work.
Just to point out, the Hapsburg hasn't had a refit in two episodes despite you mentioning you were going to do so in both making Her more obsolete than the Hellers that chewed up the Spanish by a fair bit.
Thank you for reminding me to clean the sink, it actually needed it.
In this episode: Wienershnitzel Navy dominates Paella and Sushi Navies.
Tex here making the spanish fleet look like a late-wave tower defense game...
Nice music. Makes it Naval Looney Tunes. Tex is Bugs Bunny dancing across the Atlantic Stage to go poke USA’s Yosemite Sam in the eye.
Tex is truly one of the admirals of all time.
...After Tex took Taiwan, I began to have visions of him eating Kung Pao Gulash with chopsticks! 🤣
I see your point Tex, all I really wanted out of Taiwanese food while I was there was for the meat to be cooked for long enough and I think Austro/Hungary would sort that out in seconds.
I just beat the game in 1955 as Germany; all but two my 20 1890's BB's and my one and only 4500t CA made it all the way to the end. The conquest was completed... in *SCOTLAND!*
I'd really like to see the torpedo boats used in line abreast formation. Or at least for Tex to explain why that isn't a good idea. Loving all the UAD content!
Would be awesome to have a documentary history style video of the battles
Mercer Ravannion was not harmed during the making of this motion picture.
They already have the Monitor vs Virginia tutorials. The base for mid 1800s naval shenanigans is already there. Please be able to bend the devs' ear for a moment, Tex.
Proper gulash is spicy already or atleast its eaten with stuff like the local ajvar
"They all wanna build the yamato" honestly, late game battlecruisers with autoloaders. My US playthrough was carried 1930 onward with BC's and Large Cruisers- the Lexington and Guam class. 15 and 12 inch guns with autoloaders backed up by 4.7 inch secondaries. I could print them by the bushel while i reserved by big Iowa-likes for the biggest, roughest fights.
Austro Hungary vs Japan? I see Tex started the Steiner vs Kurita conflict early.
Austria-Hungary is closer to Marik than Steiner, anywho; otherwise, good observation!
My goal in my latest playthrough was to get 10% GDP growth. I succeeded. Then the latest update stopped nerfing my GDP during war.
Dreadnaught production just went BRRRRRR
Uh-oh? Uh-oh? We have uh-oh, over.
I've woken up to the first 2 and used 3 to fall asleep. I should not be awake right now.
LESS GOOOO!! WWAAAAAAAGGHHHH!!!
Suicide boats are hilariously effective in this game
Dinghies of Doom
Mr. Tex... Port Arthur is roughly 2 jumps from Luthien...
So, what you're saying is... Kurita has a back door?
@@Deridus everyone does
@@SecureGuitar So, there's a chance. What you're saying is I might finish what the Steam Kittens started.
Possibly...
@@SecureGuitar I will take "Possibly!"
Every time you say there's someone in the comments screaming, I just laugh and wonder "well why would they scream?" And then you went and gave bote 6-in guns. And for the first time in any of these I felt something stir. A terrible agony in my heart and a wavering question on my lips. Why? Why?! I am physically in pain now. Why?!!
*looks at zeewulfeh's icon*
Because you're a Clanner. :P
I decidedly support your choice of music. Be well as always :)