Thank you so much for this! As a parts work coach who is an autistic and alexithymic person diagnosed late in life (almost 56) I relate to all that you say here, especially how IFS is lifesaving! After multiple wrong diagnoses, wrongfully medicated, and lots of therapy (since age 8) that did close to nothing to help me and often hurt, I feel so relieved that IFS exists, that IFS embraces autistics, and the fact that we can work so successfully within the IFS model.
Thanks so much Sarah. I am 62, IFS Practitioner. Now I understand why in some areas IFS therapy didn't help. So much, including feeling the feelings of others, which is great in my work, too much in the world. Especially when people are saying things that is different from what they feel...
Great information! Sarah Bergenfeld did a splendid and thoughtful presentation. I was just noticing, at the end of this session there was mention about support links etc. Was it the intention to include Ms Bergenfeld's website information linked under this video?
I am not a practitioner - just have come across & tried to benefit from it. This was an extraordinary chapter. Both content & delivery were resonant, even moving. Hope to see/hear a lot more from Sarah in the future, especially on this channel. 🙏🏽
I am nearly 65 and I’m in the process of getting an autism diagnosis and learning about IFS. I found this to be both a wonderful resource and very validating.
this is really great. but can we stop saying things about how women have more societal pressure than men so autism is harder for them. autism can be absolute hell for anybody at times. men have expectations that force them to shut down, deny, disociate, act different to the way they feel with the consequences as dire as loss of work, social inclusion or even violence and death - even if they are ND! I work in a traditionally men's environment and if I didn't know the appopriate times to protect myself I would be face on with the type of toxic and outdated cultural/group mess of abuse and underhanded behaviour that no HR video on bullying and harassment by toxic masculinity etc could dream up let alone produce. so why do we have to devalue thier suffering and struggles - they are utterly inhumane and a stain on God given dignity - so that we can highlight other's? neither is good. each is horrific and awful and heartbreaking each have their own unique taste of hell at the hands of unconcious troglodytes it feels extra hurtful when it comes from another NT and one in healing and in IFS It doesn't give appropriate validation to the inhuman hell for NT women because it's only saying it is as bad as the balance of the comparison to what is described of men's but it's much more awful. and for men who suffer the same sorts of pain that can only be reconciled by the depth of Self and cannot truly be known and understood by ND friends and family - it doesn't help things by being further uncaring, (if only by default) and it's more devaluing and off the mark for the depth of NT women's pain Parts work needs to be brought to what is too often hand in hand with another problem - unskillful ad misinformed feminism + self victimization wanting to support women needs to be from real care and truth because otherwise it gets nowhere in helping them because it creates a battleground and it's damaging for all involved, the proponents aswell I'm only saying this because it's already a public thing so will be good to say while it's in the open - (I know abuse/trauma/familial poverty and it's shame, i'm compassionate about deep childhood wounding but also assured of the importance of speaking openly generally and now if it might help others) - from the story shared it could be understood that feelings may exist around that but this is yt, lots watch and it's just not cool or kind - (effects are still there even if it was said without much awareness) moreso if it's done by NDs and especially in cases like this - NT's and NT therapists. thanks for the great video. I will check that book for sure. Best
Thank you for the comment and for watching. I agree that men with autism also struggle intensely and did not mean to imply otherwise. Intersecting identities increase the challenges we face as autistics, whether it be gender, race, economic or otherwise. There is room for everyone for sure.
What I find interesting as I am sharing about my own diagnosis, and also your work, those who saw your presentation, only remember you saying Self is Autistic in Autistic people..there is the unconscious bias. So clearly
How can Self be autistic (@ #32 mins)? My understanding is that in IFS, Self is a type of God reflection (Imago Deo in Christian theology), unbroken, undamaged, and universal for all. This Self can neither be autistic nor non-autistic, as categorization does not apply. Though Self-like autistic spectrum managers may appear in IFS, that's not true Self. The answer @50:30 speaks to lowering the bar of Self for the purpose of relatability and acceptability to a diagnosis. For me personally (with many traits on the spectrum) this is unacceptable. As it is written, '“For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?' But we have the mind of Christ.'" (1 Cor 2:16). Imago Deo! Imago Deo!
Just because we all have a self doesn't mean that we all have the same self, it's a unity through diversity. And being autistic means having fundamental differences in how our minds work, compared to allistics. Which is not profane, damaged or broken; just different. And speaking from experience, when I've hit states of self before the aspects of who I am that are hallmark (and decidedly positive) autistic traits don't melt away. They're there in harmony, unbridled, they're my 8 C's.
Thank you so much for this! As a parts work coach who is an autistic and alexithymic person diagnosed late in life (almost 56) I relate to all that you say here, especially how IFS is lifesaving! After multiple wrong diagnoses, wrongfully medicated, and lots of therapy (since age 8) that did close to nothing to help me and often hurt, I feel so relieved that IFS exists, that IFS embraces autistics, and the fact that we can work so successfully within the IFS model.
I’m so glad this was done by an actually Autistic therapist. Wonderful!
Thanks so much Sarah. I am 62, IFS Practitioner. Now I understand why in some areas IFS therapy didn't help. So much, including feeling the feelings of others, which is great in my work, too much in the world. Especially when people are saying things that is different from what they feel...
Curious what areas do Ifs not work?
Great information! Sarah Bergenfeld did a splendid and thoughtful presentation.
I was just noticing, at the end of this session there was mention about support links etc.
Was it the intention to include Ms Bergenfeld's website information linked under this video?
Thank you for this, really helpful both professionally and personally, especially how to first meet the parts and also legacy burdens and blessings 🌞
I am not a practitioner - just have come across & tried to benefit from it. This was an extraordinary chapter. Both content & delivery were resonant, even moving. Hope to see/hear a lot more from Sarah in the future, especially on this channel. 🙏🏽
newly self diagnosed autistic and SO glad to have found that IFS is complementary. Makes sense that it's helped me so much pre-diagnosis
I, too was diagnosed at a later stage in life, 50 years of confusion. I wish that it was diagnosed at a early age.
Thank you so much Sarah. This information and your perspective is very helpful!
Thanks, really enjoyed listening to this, just did A Q score and got 38, though I'm still not sure if it is developmental trauma or Autism
I think this was very insightful. Sarah has a unique perspective and presence! Hope a lot in the ifs community and beyond will get to watch this.
I am an autistic male new to IFS wow
I am nearly 65 and I’m in the process of getting an autism diagnosis and learning about IFS. I found this to be both a wonderful resource and very validating.
Wonderful to know that IFS works so well with asd.
autistic women's husbands😰??
this is really great. but can we stop saying things about how women have more societal pressure than men so autism is harder for them. autism can be absolute hell for anybody at times. men have expectations that force them to shut down, deny, disociate, act different to the way they feel with the consequences as dire as loss of work, social inclusion or even violence and death - even if they are ND! I work in a traditionally men's environment and if I didn't know the appopriate times to protect myself I would be face on with the type of toxic and outdated cultural/group mess of abuse and underhanded behaviour that no HR video on bullying and harassment by toxic masculinity etc could dream up let alone produce. so why do we have to devalue thier suffering and struggles - they are utterly inhumane and a stain on God given dignity - so that we can highlight other's?
neither is good. each is horrific and awful and heartbreaking
each have their own unique taste of hell at the hands of unconcious troglodytes
it feels extra hurtful when it comes from another NT and one in healing and in IFS
It doesn't give appropriate validation to the inhuman hell for NT women
because it's only saying it is as bad as the balance of the comparison to what is described of men's
but it's much more awful.
and for men who suffer the same sorts of pain that can only be reconciled by the depth of Self and cannot truly be known and understood by ND friends and family - it doesn't help things by being further uncaring, (if only by default)
and it's more devaluing and off the mark for the depth of NT women's pain
Parts work needs to be brought to what is too often hand in hand with another problem - unskillful ad misinformed feminism + self victimization
wanting to support women needs to be from real care and truth
because otherwise it gets nowhere in helping them because it creates a battleground and it's damaging for all involved, the proponents aswell
I'm only saying this because it's already a public thing so will be good to say while it's in the open - (I know abuse/trauma/familial poverty and it's shame, i'm compassionate about deep childhood wounding but also assured of the importance of speaking openly generally and now if it might help others) - from the story shared it could be understood that feelings may exist around that but this is yt, lots watch and it's just not cool or kind - (effects are still there even if it was said without much awareness)
moreso if it's done by NDs and especially in cases like this - NT's and NT therapists.
thanks for the great video. I will check that book for sure. Best
Thank you for the comment and for watching. I agree that men with autism also struggle intensely and did not mean to imply otherwise. Intersecting identities increase the challenges we face as autistics, whether it be gender, race, economic or otherwise. There is room for everyone for sure.
Please comment the presenter's full name. I want to follow her
Sarah Bergenfield
What I find interesting as I am sharing about my own diagnosis, and also your work, those who saw your presentation, only remember you saying Self is Autistic in Autistic people..there is the unconscious bias. So clearly
Thank you!!
How can Self be autistic (@ #32 mins)? My understanding is that in IFS, Self is a type of God reflection (Imago Deo in Christian theology), unbroken, undamaged, and universal for all. This Self can neither be autistic nor non-autistic, as categorization does not apply. Though Self-like autistic spectrum managers may appear in IFS, that's not true Self.
The answer @50:30 speaks to lowering the bar of Self for the purpose of relatability and acceptability to a diagnosis. For me personally (with many traits on the spectrum) this is unacceptable. As it is written, '“For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?' But we have the mind of Christ.'" (1 Cor 2:16). Imago Deo! Imago Deo!
Just because we all have a self doesn't mean that we all have the same self, it's a unity through diversity. And being autistic means having fundamental differences in how our minds work, compared to allistics. Which is not profane, damaged or broken; just different.
And speaking from experience, when I've hit states of self before the aspects of who I am that are hallmark (and decidedly positive) autistic traits don't melt away. They're there in harmony, unbridled, they're my 8 C's.