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*WORST* Thing Someone Said About My Amputation - *She Wouldn't LET Me Leave!*
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2020
- I had a very uncomfortable and bizarre exchange while getting groceries not that long ago! Maybe don't say these things...
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Fourteen years of pain and failed ankle surgeries brought me to 2018, when I made the difficult decision to become a twenty-seven-year-old below-the-knee elective amputee. This channel is to document my journey of amputation surgery, recovery, and reclaiming my life.
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MY AMPUTATION STORY - IN VIDEO:
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Day in the Life of an Amputee: • A Day in the Life of a...
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#amputee #amputeestory #whatnottosaytoamputees
People don't seem to realize (for most of us) going outside is not a once in a year event. We can't just be given inspirational speech every time we go grocery shopping. For people meeting us it's an event but for us meeting people is not and that's why the way we see that moment is so unequal. They feel like "this thing is happening I must do something !" when we feel like "I'm doing groceries". And it's exhausting to be treated as an event constantly.
Disabled people are inspirational. Because you never know when it might happen to you. But....what happened here makes me slightly uncomfortable although sweet
wtf
Thanks for sharing your experienced insight! Your insight reminds me how some celebrities are grateful for and actively seek out small towns who let them 'be normal.'
Yes that's a good metaphor ! We need to be treated in a way that it's ok to be treated every day, not ok to be treated once in a while.
@@Kelly-ew9vf Depends on what they're inspirational for. Disabled people are not inspirational just fo simply existing and living their lives
When my oldest daughter was four, she had two friends at dance named Ciara. She said you could tell them apart because CiaraD had long hair-never mind CiaraP used a walker. It’s all about perspective. There’s more to people than one thing 💛 All good things to you, my friend!
I’d have been so tempted to interrupt and ask “What makes you think I don’t feel valuable?” But you’re right, snark doesn’t achieve much.
Snark does not achieve much, but honestly, it is just *so* rude to expect a stranger to tell you their life story, and it's equally rude to assume you know a stranger's life story based on a small snapshot you see, whether that is a missing limb, or a kid who is having a tantrum.
I love hearing about people's lived experiences that are different to mine, but what they share should be on *their* timeline. No one owes strangers the stories about their lived experiences. No one. It's awesome when people want to share, it's awesome to watch, and learn more, but it's rude to expect that information to be shared, and it's rude to make assumptions right off the bat.
Strangers in public are not public property: they are people, too. Don't touch them without permission, don't go on a long-winded inspirational speech without permission, don't be rude about asking what happened (a simple "May I ask about your leg?" suffices. They can either say 'yes' and tell more if they're in the mood to share or 'no,' if they have a goal to get in and out of the store quickly). Accept when others do not want to share their lived experience with you.
That wouldn't have been snark. That would have been a legitimate question that that lady should probably really hear
Lmao...oh man... I just knew this was pretty common. I had a similar situation where one of the workers at the rehabilitation center says to me, don't worry, you're still pretty hot so blah blah blah.
I just chuckled and say I wasn't worried in the slightest...I lost my leg, not my sense of style or being.
My prosthesis is not decked out in cheetah print for no reason after all 😁💁🏾♀️
I'm still through the physical therapy stage and walk like a newborn calf but I'll get there... There's no ifs or buts about it.
I’m not an amputee but I can definitely relate to some of this. Especially when you talked about how you being an amputee can take over conversations. When I am forced to mention my celiac disease due to people trying give me food and not taking no for an answer or having to ask people to go to a different restaurant so I can go too - somehow that derails the whole conversation and we suddenly have to have a whole discussion about it. And I know it comes from a place of curiosity and care. But sometimes I just want to feel normal
I'm sorry. I completely understand. I would recommend telling people you are simply allergic to wheat/grain, and they should back off quickly and give you peace and quiet.
I am beef intolerant, and when I tell people this, I get bombarded with questions. Then they tell me they couldn't live without beef, or they are very confused. Once I tell them I'm allergic to beef, they back off ASAP.
I've observed that they are making gluten free options so much tastier now too, and more stores are carrying gluten free items. It's nice how stores are trying to be more accommodating to those with special diets
What she said was okay if, she was your friend and you were expressing self doubts. Otherwise, she should have just said have a good day.
I have a natural gift for sticking my foot in my mouth, then try to explain that I meant no harm to anyone. I'm just trying to be a nice human and end up sticking my other foot in my mouth. So, I usually don't say anything like I normally would to anyone else.
I just read my note and maybe using a foot metaphor wasn't the best choice. Like I said, I have a natural gift.
So, what should I do?
I admire how kind you are when talking about these things. It’s so easy for us to react with anger and blame the ignorant person for making us feel bad, but you don’t do that. You always reiterate that you do NOT blame them and appreciate that they’re trying to be kind and you’re just trying to educate them on how it came across. And even if you don’t explicitly say it, you’re spreading the message that the rest of us should think about other people’s actions like that, too. It takes true strength of character to be able to do that and do it consistently. I have no doubt that you struggle sometimes because you’re human, but you seem to always come back to this place of understanding and positivity toward others that is amazing. I’ve never been able to sustain that for more than a couple days.
So yeah… my point is that I admire you and your outlook on life.
I 100% know what you mean, I am 4'10 and I am constantly told I am not worthless just because I'm short. Sometimes I find that it starts to trickle in to my thoughts.
I'm 4'10 too well I'm only 12 but I feel like I won't grow anymore my ex friend made fun of me for being short (she was 4'11)pathetic I think
@@kaciisummer-leigh7846 most boys get a big growth spirt between 12-15 so just wait and see.
If it helps it’s just people being idiots. I’m 6” and a woman and I get so many pointless comments or compliments about my height it’s almost as if my only valuable trait is that I can reach shit on the top shelf.
@@codename495 yeah, people just look at someone and assume that there view of that trait is shared by everyone else.
To comment something like that unprovoked definitely did not come from nothing.
Molly Burke has told about her meeting new people and the conversation always being about her being blind.
It is not inpolite to suggest maybe talking about something else. I suspect most people would understand that it doesn't have to be about the disability all the time
I’ve found your videos whilst I’m currently sat in hospital waiting for the finalisation of my bellow knee amputation love all the info I’ve gained from watching you and would love to try the cream once I get on the road to recovery! #skincare
I wish you a nice recovery!
Good luck!
Having a chronic illness or disability feels like a tattoo. It's not something that you are constantly thinking about, but sometimes people want to share their opinions on it because it is new and interesting to them. My illness is invisible most of the time, so when it does show up, it feels more like walking into a room of people suddenly taking notice of something that is always a part of me. It is exhausting sometimes to tell the same stories again and again, even if people are not intending anything negative. Also #Skincare because washing your hands is great until they crack and bleed.
I have considerable facial scars. My friends tell me they don’t see them but I know people meeting me for the first time do
When I got most of my scars following a car accident. I took up swimming for gentle exercise. After one swim an attendant came up and told me I was offending their patrons and could I not come again.
I was stunned. I was 19/20 I was already self conscious because I had not only face scars but a huge one on my hip and another big one on my foot and being fresh they were that hella deep purple all deep scars are.
So much of me wanted to scream abuse at her about it wasn’t a choice it’s not like I had Genitals tattooed all over the place or rude words Or disturbed graphics. No. These were not choice. And I can’t imagine choosing to have the scars I have under any circumstance.
I think I mumbled well I didn’t choose to have the scars and left and didn’t go back. Not because they asked me because screw them getting money from me after that and I had every right to be there as much was the next.
Being different looking does get us all comments. “Mummy what’s wrong with her face” cheers kid.
But coming from adults. Unless she found you crying in the toilets and when asked said I’m useless and ugly. The build up speech was out of order. Even if meant well. As you say.
Don’t assume we aren’t ok with our differences. Even if we didn’t choose them we aren’t all circling the drain of dispair (well not always even if we do sometimes) but do the right thing and not make a damn scene of it
I saw a girl in a shop struggling not to cry. Now I’ve spoken to her many times but it was not my place to say anything in front of others. So. I sought her manager and asked if she could find someone to stand in for her for a little as she was struggling and went about my life. Next time I saw her she thanked me. Now. I never found out why and I never asked to be identified although I’m sure the look of concern on my face was there but they also know me in there so probably told her it was me. She never had to say thank you. No one needs to be struggling and sure if it was an empty shop I might have said you ok? Anything I can do to help and if she had burst into tears I’d have hugged her if she wanted but never assume someone’s path is like your own. If they are close to breaking it still doesn’t mean they want your opinion on it.
No one needs to hear things like “you did well in that considering ”
We each handle our differences in different ways. For some amputees I’m sure missing their leg/arm is currently a major Hindrance but have some people not seen the disabled Olympics? Those guys do stuff I couldn’t do and more. It’s not always what blocks us it can also spurn is to prove we didn’t need it anyway
all of this!!!!! and question: did you find another place to swim? swimming is great for you body in general and just a pleasure to do!
Couldn’t not have said it any better myself!! 👏🏻
And I am sorry you had such a bad experience at that pool I hope you found another place to swim.
Well said!!!
Also i hope you found another place to swim or another exercise or hobby that you enjoy bc dang that lady was mean as hell
This is 2 years late but I agree! I don't understand why people are so freaked out by scars, they are just scars. Kids asking is generally just out of curiosity and no ill intent, but adults know better.
With the cooler weather coming, it’s always good to moisturize your skin and take care of your body. #skincare.
When I see a prosthetic limb, I always wonder how it works to stay attached to the body as long as the person needs it, and also if it is painful to wear them, use them. I would love it if you made a video about it !
I remember after I had my neck fusion I was waiting at a pharmacy to get medications. It was just after I finally got my neck brace off, so my scar on the front of my neck was more obvious. This stranger just randomly from a distance was like hey did you have such and such surgery. I did blah years ago, and just kept going on an on, well this made me feel super uncomfortable. I mean I was at least 15 feet from this person and not only were they trying to have a conversation about this from a distance over top of other people, but they were also pointing out my scar. Which I am not ashamed of, it is just another mark as proof of me trying to help myself to not be disabled. It didn't work, but to have this being pointed out and brought to the attention of the entire pharmacy and part of a store, since it was in a grocery store, really made me feel uncomfortable and singled out as being different. While I am sure she meant well and was just trying to relate I really did feel singled out. So that is one time something like this happened to me. I honestly didn't think much of people noticing my scar as much either till that moment either. This was over 2 years ago and I still remember it, so I guess it did have at least some impact on me, even if it seems insignificant. #skincare
Yup...the moment I sit in my electric wheelchair people treat me like I dropped all my IQ points or have a traumatic brain injury. They also start asking inappropriate questions, usually sexual, like they have every right to do so. Plus why and when did it become ok for complete strangers to touch, rub and hug me just because I am in a wheelchair?
Really uncomfortable xx
I tried to wrap my head around why people would think it's okay to do this to someone... and my brain locked up. In all seriousness, I- I don't even... O.o
@@snarkdragon ...to top it off, I have a pain condition which means that the touching, rubbing, and hugging can really hurt me....granted mainly spine and right side limbs.
As for sex...they are always surprised that I have a partner, we are engaged and that he is able bodied. I always get the "how do you two..." questions....I just ask them if they were absent from the sexual education lessons at school, it usually shuts them up lol xx
yeah... same here ^^
Thanks for taking the time to share your experience, Jo!
Thank you for sharing this story. I am never sure what to say and what not to say. Thank you for taking the time to share this much needed insight. Much appreciated.
Although I don't have the same disability as you do, I have had some really weird things that people have said to me too. I remember being in a grocery store on a weekend trip with our friends and some lady came up to me and said that I will feel much better from the knee replacement about a year after the surgery. My thoughts were the same as yours. It has also stuck with me as well. I wanted to just say, that I am 5 years out from my last surgery and no it's not going to get better.
I TOTALLY get where you’re coming from! I have a hidden disability so when I talk about some limitations I have or how I can’t do or go certain places or things, people always act apologetic. And I get that they’re doing it from a place of good intent, but it just makes me feel like they are putting me in this box with all my limitations. #skincare
I winced before you even finished the story. Damn! You are too kind, honestly!
Thanks Joe, a friend of mine recently lost from the knee down as well, well my friend's wife. I recommended your channel and she's been watching it a lot. Thanks for doing what you do
I’ve been having a really hard time the last few years, especially since my father passed almost 2 years ago but your channel has helped me so much. Especially on the more difficult days. So I just want to say thank you so much. I love your channel.
I was having thoughts about suicide, when I went to school. One of the other students helped me to talk with my teacher, who decided that for the next month we would use one lesson each week to talk about why I didn't thrive in school... That was the four worst lessons of school ever. I actually liked school, but was teased by my peers because I was different. My health was really bad, and I had a lot of limitations due to low energy. God helped me get out of the constant consideration of suicide later. Now I am learning to accept my limitations because of chronic illness.
I'm trans and I've been looking for a good repairing lotion because my dorm is super dry and the binder chafing gets real really quickly if not taken care of as soon as it starts!! #skincare
Sometimes it's just so hard to know what to say in these kind of situations. I often get comments about how smiley and happy I am, and I am a smiley and bubbly person, but I get 10x more now I use a wheelchair vs invisible disability. There's this idea that all disabled people hate their lives and are miserable, but honestly I'm much happier as a wheelchair user!
I have never felt worthless or anything like that for being disabled. I am not sure how I would react to that, probably just do what you did. People mean well but geesh! Happy to see all the sponsers you have been getting girl!! #skincare
I love your merch! Thinking of buying the anchor shirt for my mom and the elephant one for me!
I'm hoping to order an anchor shirt and/or hoodie. An anchor is a very meaningful symbol to me.
I have really sensitive skin and it's so hard for me to find lotion that hydrates and doesn't irritate. Excited to try something new! #skincare
Also, you rock Jo! Always look forward to your videos and how fun and down to earth you are. 😊
For starters, you are beautiful. That has nothing to do with your amputation. I love that you share so much with us strangers that make us feel more like friends. I love both of your channels.
Jo, you manage your difficulties with grace and that just shows what a wonderful person you truly are. I am fairly sure this woman meant to lift you up, without a clue that she let you down. Great to hear about your sponsor #skincare. As a diabetic I am always looking for a better option. Plus I do wear a brace on my right ankle due to a car accident as I shattered my ankle and have had three surgeries. May need it fused or removed. So the lotion would be a happy welcome!! Back to you, thank YOU for being such a great influence and teacher for all who are managing chronic issues - no matter what they may be. Your light shines, and I just love to see your fur babies. I just love the dog in the bathroom - gorgeous!! Just like you. Keep shining on, and there is a saying someone shared with me that I do my best to remember when feeling challenged, “What others think of me is none of my business!! What I think of me is what matters most”!! You have a great attitude about life and it shows with how you live your life to the fullest, all challenges are handled with grace and dignity, you never give up and you share your knowledge with all who need to hear it!! Thanks for being you, sending ☮️ n ❤️ from sunny 🌞 Arizona 🌵🌴
Your videos always make me feel better 😊
I wonder if it came from a place of 'I feel worthless and not beautiful' and so seeing you without a leg she thought how much harder it would be to have that mindset AND be missing a leg
I saw lady that was an amputee at the grocery store about a month ago. I told my husband, wow, she is amazing. I was so impressed with her. She was athletic and fit. It it wasn’t in spite of her being an amputee, it was because it could be so easy to sit back and feel likes victim, but she was moving forward and impressively. It was inspiring.
Awesome video Jo, your my favourite UA-camr!
I love you and molly Burke and i can't choose who I like better they are both amazing people
Hi Jo, just found your video randomly, and I wanted to say you seem to be a lovely, happy, fun person who I would love to hang out with, regardless of limb count ;)
And this is one of the reasons why I choose self-checkout 😂
Same!! I’m not a huge fan of people in general 😂
Yep.. 😂
I love your West Coast vibes, your videos always make me so happy! You seem to be one of the most genuine people on UA-cam!
I know the feeling of being told you will bounce back especially when you are just trying to pick up something and get on with your day. It does have it's advantages one day I was out shopping and stopped for lunch at a Cracker Barrel now remember I made the choice to have my leg removed. I was wearing shorts and having a good lunch when I asked my server for my check she told me that my lunch had already been paid for. To this day I still don't know who did that but I did pay the gesture forward. So stay positive and keep moving forward. #skincare
I saw someone with a star wars prosthetic leg and it was so cool
I think at the end of the day it's about getting to know and understand a person for who they are. People are complex and can't be classified or understood by a singlular physical characteristic. It's like you said at the end of the video. Your channel covers not only living with a disability, but your interests, love of the outdoors, love of animals, etc. Things that can't be understood without taking the time to learn about about an individual, no matter the situation.
I had an long ago bf who's sister was a btk amputee. I would have noticed your leg, or lack thereof, and started a conversation about her and all the problems she had with prosthetics. She was still her, I never thought it made her less than, I just felt for her when she went through pain and frustration.
Hi Jo you are very beautiful and I really like your smile, so keep up with what you are doing because you look and come across as a person who knows what you want.
I would have said "I'd love it if you would bag the groceries.... I'll call my spouse for a pity party thx😄"
You are too nice lol. Some people mean the opposite to what they say.
This reminds me of some of the experiences Shane Burcaw has had...like the woman who “scream prayed” over him on his and Hannah’s first date to “cure him and give him a good life”...and he responded...”I do have a good life...”
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your journey with us. I have multiple chronic illnesses and have heard similar sentiments on occasion. Thank you also for working with a skin care brand. Hope it’s helpful. #skincare
At my line of work, I meet a lot of people. I have always been fascinated by human’s ability to adapt after physical changes to their body, and I therefore notice prosthetics very fast. Generally, I think it looks awesome. It’s just the physical proof that this person has adapted to a drastic change. But, on to my story: I was at work, guiding people on to the correct busses. A woman comes along with a couple of big suitcases, wearing a knee-long summer dress. She’s putting the suitcases into the bus’ cargo-space (don’t know what it’s called, English is not my first language), and I notice her prosthetic leg. She hasn’t done anything to hide it, so I assume she’s not embarrassed over it. I take a few steps closer to her and comment “hi, that’s a cool looking leg you’ve got there” with a smile. She thanks me, and we go back to doing what we were doing. Another lady walks up to me and whispers “you can’t say stuff like that! It’s rude and can hurt her feelings!”. I get a bit confused by this, so I go back to the first lady and asked if what I said was rude and/or hurtful, since another lady said it was, and that I apologize if it was. She answers “it’s a lot better than other comments I’ve got, at least your comment was positive.”
Those of you who wear prosthetics, how would you react to my first comment? Was it as rude as the second lady said it was?
Am I romantizing amputations with this kind of comment?
Sorry but this is cracking me up because it's making me remember the person who was trying to comfort me when my best friend died. It was like she had a list of all the least helpful things to say to a bereaved person and wanted to make sure she didn't miss any. At first it hurt but after a while it got to be funny because it was just one unhelpful thing after the other. I had to fight not to start laughing because poor Sharon really was trying to be kind. She did, paradoxically, end up helping me feel better because she made me laugh -- though I had to wait until she'd left the room -- and to this day I still laugh about it. Weird in that her comforting words ended up making me feel better precisely because they were so relentlessly unhelpful.
Hi Jo, as always, thanks for posting your videos. I honestly think the checkout lady was projecting her beliefs that every disabled person feels inadequate. She probably has feelings of her own inadequacy so she felt the need to over step her boundaries. I mean she didn't even know you but she believed she knew how you felt about your situation! You sounded very gracious in your response. As I commented before, I worked in the healthcare field and I was exposed to many people with health challenges. First and foremost, You see the person for who they are and not the disability. We are all essentially the same. We need love and acceptance, not judgement. I can tell you're a very caring person and I really enjoy your videos! Thanks again.
I get you Jo! Although the person didnt mean any harm with her words,the point of it was that it wasn't nessasary to inform you of it all, something like dont try to fix what is not broken!🤷♀️
I really think that lady needs to hear someone ask "why do you assume that?" so that she can refect and maybe gain some understanding of her own mindset regarding such things
Oh my gosh, exactly!!! Some people who mean well, make you into the freak show so easily. And those who just don't care - who stop and openly stare at you like you're on display. Wow. It's so hard to deal with at times. I lost my leg to a disease I didn't know I even had. One minute I had a leg, the next I didn't. I had no choice. It was that or you'll die basically. And dealing with the lose of the limb and the need to gear up and fight this disease, was overwhelming. And attempting to move on with my life and the general publics reaction. More than I could deal with pretty much became a shut in. I really wish people would realize that they need to respect other people. They have no idea what is happening in a persons life surrounding these issues. I'm still in counseling due to that. I'm getting there, cause I will not lose the fight, but it's so hard to deal with people. Totally get this video.
I am an bka and would love to try out skincare..people are always saying things when you are an amputee. Some good and encouraging and some can be rude without realizing it..
I have recently found your channel, & have quickly watched a lot of your videos in a short amount of time! I lobe how positive & inspiring you are. You're amazing! 💙
I really have the worst dry skin... Love to try this!
#skincare if it helps with eczema that would be amazing. I always have issues finding the right lotion because I also have allergies and very sensitive skin.
for some reason the grocery store seems indeed to be the place of awkward compliments for/even though/despite disability. I get those for shopping on my own in a wheelchair. I know they mean well, but at 35 I'm definitely old enough to go on my own... ;) But yeah, I always remember a witty comeback waaay too late and then spend too much time and energy overthinking the situation. One day our time will shine to open our mouths to say exactly the right thing.
Btw wave your leg as you please. There's no style guide. You do you. It's the coolest outro any way!
I remember being at a water park and I was sitting down somewhere and I saw a girl with a prosthetic leg. I really wanted to just go up to her and simply say "I really like your leg." But I didn't because I didn't want to say anything insensitive. I think I'm just dumb and I think prosthetics are so cool.
Just had surgery so #skincare
I hope you have a good recovery! 💙
Good luck with your recovery!!!
@@FootlessJo thanks I'm doing good
I have a rare skin condition and I’m about to have surgery soooooo #skincare
I had surgery in February
I think you handled that situation as best you could under the circumstances. It's unfortunate that some people don't understand how their words don't match the intent. It really isn't your responsibility to educate these folks individually. Hopefully this video will help convey your message beyond this audience to create some positive change. (On a side note, I hope you are doing well with the fires and predicted snow tomorrow. Stay safe!
I have found a similar situation with my wheelchair. People think that I should hate it, but I actually love my wheelchair. It gives me freedom and is awesome. I don't really care that I have to use a wheelchair, AT ALLl. But when people assume that I feel pathetic and gross or sad I feel the same way as you... The difference might be when there is a sudden trauma that PUTS you in a chair or leaves you without a leg. It can be shocking and you very well might hate yourself for a bit. But when you 'choose' amputation over pain, or a wheelchair over pain, then I think you appreciate it more?
Hi, Jo! My right ankle is messed up, always swollen, it hurts to touch, etc. Getting my ankle surgery to replace my ligament on the 1st of October. I’m super nervous but it’s just another surgery, I guess. We’re doing everything we can so I don’t have to consider amputation in the future.
Anyways! Enough rambling, but your videos are super inspirational and your iwalk 2.0 videos and review is actually super helpful to know that there’s a dependable device out there so I don’t have to be on crutches throughout my 3 month, non weightbearing recovery. I love you! Stay safe 💛✨
You are inspiration for many people for what they will live...... So charming , and inspirational content
Thank you and love you❤️
Hiii from Estonia!
Your beautiful jo sorry that person made you feel uncomfortable your awesome your definitely none of those things you are precious jo I never met you but I count you as a good friend love you jo
I got a weird story too.
I felt like this when I was waiting to turn left on a slow moving 4 lane road. Someone in the oncoming lane stopped against their right away to let me turn. I didn't go, and waved them on so I could turn once I was able to see a clearing for myself. They just sat there, insistent that I take advantage of their good deed and cross two lanes of traffic because they were stopping a lane and expected me to trust them that the other lane, that only they could see, was clear of oncoming traffic. Nope and nope.
But what do ya do? It's like they got flustered, like I was refusing their generosity. Yeah I felt weird too but geez, don't do that.
I love your videos I’m getting my leg amputated in October on the 6th and you really helped me though my decision making lol
Part of this video stuck with me. You mentioned being that overly nice person and making that mistake then never having tried. I find myself guilty of this all the time like I'm sure many others in the comments are as well. I often miss read the situation and try and give my overly helpful input which can seem controlling. You however normalized that to me. Like it's best to come from a place of somewhat understanding and make that mistake and learn then be intentionally ignorant and put people down. Overall though I do agree that you should think before you speak, for lake of a better phrase.
Thank you so much for speaking out about this! I have shaved my head for a long time because of my sensory disorder and sometimes because I'm more femme presenting people feel the need to support me as I or a loved one go through cancer. It is so incredibly awkward to have to be like "um, I don't have or know anyone with cancer." It's odd because so rarely my disorder and disability are invisible.
Also in terms of the sponser I have incredibly sensitive skin so #skincare is always a challenge. I would love the chance to try a lotion that you recommend.
I used to get the cancer conversations all the time! I shave my head because I wanted to try it and found that it's my favorite hairstyle for myself. I've gotten many "Thanks for doing what you're doing" and people telling me about their cancer stories. It can be a lot.
You are very articulate!
I really appreciate that - thank you!
That stuff would be great here in FL for my residual limb. I sweat a lot and always end up with little irritating spots on my limb. #skincare!
Despite her good intentions she definitely went about it the wrong way. I imagine her unconscious bias played into it and she was projecting how she imagines she were to feel as an amputee. It definitely says more about her and about her mind set that she felt the need to "reassure" you that you are still beautiful and still have worth, under the assumption that you would believe the opposite. #skincare
The thing is we shouldn’t feel “crap” because someone says this and that. Isn’t it enough?
If you want to think about every person including family words then they keep affecting you... and you just remind everyone else that ppl comment like this and this is not appropriate etc.
I would just do what I do with any other person. Compliment something about them I find cool. “Wow that’s such a cool tattoo, I’m such I wimp I don’t think I could commit” “Your hair is so pretty! Mine never behaves” “THATS DRESS IS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE” compliments cost nothing and you never know, it might make their day or give them a confidence boost. Saying someone is “still pretty despite blank” is just weird, why can’t they simply be pretty in their own right?
Hi love your videos
I'm going to have to look into this lotion. I have locomotor disability from degenerative joint disease so I'm always fighting with skin irritation.
Thank You Ma'am!
Posting on Facebook...
People ASSUME that I don't like the way I look and I have heard all of the bullshit "compliments". I am not "beautiful for a big girl, I am beautiful period.". I know that I am beautiful, I never said I was ugly. I said I was plus-sized, dark-haired, tall, and a woman with 3 X Chromosomes and I accept myself that way. There's no point in hating myself. And why would I want to look like the people who spew hatred at me?
Jo, love your content. Thanks for being real and honest. As a nurse during the pandemic my skin is suffering from all the handwashing and sanitizers. Would love to try this product that you recommend. #skincare
Yeah I super believe she wanted to lift you up
Colorado in a wheelchair?I don't think my chair would budge on snow or ice!👻
On the bright side, you still have your knee! Learning a prosthetic knee sucks! From Florida!
Thanks so much, Jo. People have said things like that to me, because I have a knee fusion.
An executive director at a Vista ,California Post Acute Unit basically called me worthless ,When she said to me on the phone," I look forward to meeting you"Found out through the reliable grapevine that the executive director "DISCRIMINATED AGAINTS ALL BELOW THE RIGHT KNEE AMPUTEES"
I’m also a below the knee amputee. I would love to know if the lotion works for you? #skincare
I have had all my toes on my left foot amputated over the years. About 4 years ago, I was in Borders Books looking at bookmarks wearing a pair of sandals; so you could see I was toeless on one foot.
A little boy (aged 4 or 5) behind me in line with his mom saw my foot and asked where my toes were. He wasn't malicious, just curious. I told him I got a cut and my toes got infected and the doctor had to make them go away.
The mom looked down and saw my foot and started screaming at me to get away I was going to infect her son. And how dare I show off being a freak in public and leave.
I told the 'lady' I'm not infectious and I'm not leaving. She started calling for security. The cashier just rolled their eyes and ignored the situation. She kept yelling as the kid looked on in silent embarrassment.
As she's screaming I pointed to my foot and asked the kid, 'Wanna see something cool?'. The kid looks at my foot and I try to wiggle my non-existent big toe; which makes the muscles on the front of my foot do the wave.
The mom scooped up her kids and ran out of the store screaming. I left a few minutes later with no bookmarks because I didn't want to patronize a store that let customers be harassed by other customers.
And I've never worn sandals since.
The number of people who have told my AK amputee husband they hope he feels better soon, or hope he heals fast, or just ask how he broke his leg (he prefers underarm crutches because he's figured out how to use them hands free) is truly stunning. Though he does tell people he broke his leg clear off which is amusing (to us at least). It's one thing when it's kids (he's always been ok with that, even more so now as a dad), but the comments that grown adults make is.....just wow.
I think there have been times I *wanted* to ask about what made someone different, but didn't. A lot of that is the the community I grew up in. So many of my classmates had adaptive gear to help them get around. It's also the whole "that person already knows they don't look just like me, so why point it out and ask personal questions about it" thing.
When I hear the same comments, I usually know that they are about to ask what happened in order to get the amputation.
Honestly it's very annoying.
I'm only 3 months in and such comments make me get agitated
Yeah ..... I was diagnosed with PTSD...... the first thing someone said to me was thank you for your service...... only I never served in the military..... mine was from domestic violence. What do you say to someone? I dont like talking about it in person with people, that's part of my PTSD....
Not related to the video, but your hair Jo!!! So long and pretty!!! 😍
As a wheelchair user, I get strangers trying to Do A Charity At Me daily. It took me a while to develop the confidence, but now I've got a loud, strong WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU/WHY THE FUCK WOULD I NEED THAT in response. I still have terrible memories of like, the time in grad school a stranger in the dining hall blocked the orange juice machine to forcibly pray at me to fix my legs and I couldn't roll my eyes hard enough.
love your videos. ❤️❤️ you’re such an amazing person. congrats on your #skincare sponsorship!!!!
I really need this kind of lotion. I've noticed as the weather gets hotter, big bad heatwave in LA, I can see the skin on my residual leg is breaking down. #skincare. I know people feel bad we are not like them, but I wish people would keep it to themselves sometimes. I'm sorry you felt bad. We are all just people at our core right? I would rather people joke about it. My favorite from a stranger...you must be able to drink a lot with that hollow leg! Cracked me up and actually made me feel special...lol!!
I have had really sensitive skin my whole life and am always looking for a good lotion that isn't irritating! #skincare
As someone with disability/chronic illness I've had some weird comments. But most have been really positive or funny. I'm young and look healthy at 23 but I walk with a cane and sometimes a walker. (My cane is decorated with duct tape) I've had a few elderly people challenging me to races!
...if only you had been wearing your 'staring' t-shirt for that conversation! 🤣🤣🤣
#skincare
In Aurora Colorado at the children’s hospital 🏥🥰
I am watching you for a long time and you are so funny 😂and honest👌✌️😘
I love your channel! You're such a wise person and I'm glad you're able to share that with everyone. #skincare