The affair is a fantasy. You don't pay bills, deal with debts, raise kids, deal with in-laws, manage health concerns with your mistress. She may ever disappear for 5 days during her cycle. Hopefully cheaters realize this before its too late.
Oh, the lies of omission. The gift that keeps on giving! Poor little boy cheater. He’s complaining about how his finger hurts, when he’s the one who pulled the trigger on the machine gun & filled you full of holes! How is it that the fantasy affair means so much more than the devoted spouse who’s had your back through thick & thin? How nice that the cheater gets the adoration from a stranger that he’s denied his spouse of for the entire marriage! Lie #7: “I’m doing the best I can to save our marriage and make you feel safe.” When in reality, he avoids you like the plague! Doesn’t look for resources to help you heal or try to discover why he cheated, doesn’t try to make amends, repairs or restitution, avoids the difficult conversations that need to be had, offers no encouragement, doesn’t want to hear about your pain that he caused, doesn’t really try to reconnect. But, yeah. That’s him doing his best!
Omg i needed to hear ALL of this. I found out my husband had an affair and while it was short lived i struggled with understanding why it happened. Everything you said rang true to me with the lies i told myself. While my husband takes full responsibility for his action in having the affair i think he still believes the problems in our marriage were my fault. I can own up to my part in the downfall of our marriage but i know now after hearing this that it was his own issues that caused him to step out.
The worst is when they admit to an affair and think they now are absolved bc they were so honest. "Now let's move on to your flaws as a wife" is their next move. So frustrating.
I think the brokenness needs to be defined better because many cheaters use that as an excuse and then have pity on themselves and think the betrayed should just forgive and move on. Many cheaters are very very selfish people that allow themselves to become such a bad character of a person they have no cares for who they hurt to have what they want. Many times its thinking they have to have constant admiration, excitement and validation no matter what they get at home.. After being caught they feel it isn't a big thing and cannot even see the devastating destruction they have caused. Being allowed to just say they are broken and I will try to change, just doesn't cut it. They must understand they have to change their character or they will simply do it all again when the betrayed let's their guard down and is trying to rebuild the marriage. Many cheaters take the brokenness excuse and feel they don't have to do any work to rebuild trust etc.
Yes yes yes to all of that. Now its woe is me bc you'll never forgive me so why try. Thats when they start to be prideful and unsympathetic and a protective mechanism against your rejection. The best is when they now start suspecting YOU bc they know if roles were reversed they either would leave or revenge cheat
When the fruit of the unfaithful shows they are fully invested in the marriage again, but they still adamently deny it happened at all, should the betrayed stay? How long should one wait for the truth to come to light?
The affair is a fantasy. You don't pay bills, deal with debts, raise kids, deal with in-laws, manage health concerns with your mistress. She may ever disappear for 5 days during her cycle. Hopefully cheaters realize this before its too late.
Oh, the lies of omission. The gift that keeps on giving!
Poor little boy cheater. He’s complaining about how his finger hurts, when he’s the one who pulled the trigger on the machine gun & filled you full of holes!
How is it that the fantasy affair means so much more than the devoted spouse who’s had your back through thick & thin?
How nice that the cheater gets the adoration from a stranger that he’s denied his spouse of for the entire marriage!
Lie #7: “I’m doing the best I can to save our marriage and make you feel safe.” When in reality, he avoids you like the plague! Doesn’t look for resources to help you heal or try to discover why he cheated, doesn’t try to make amends, repairs or restitution, avoids the difficult conversations that need to be had, offers no encouragement, doesn’t want to hear about your pain that he caused, doesn’t really try to reconnect. But, yeah. That’s him doing his best!
Omg i needed to hear ALL of this. I found out my husband had an affair and while it was short lived i struggled with understanding why it happened. Everything you said rang true to me with the lies i told myself. While my husband takes full responsibility for his action in having the affair i think he still believes the problems in our marriage were my fault. I can own up to my part in the downfall of our marriage but i know now after hearing this that it was his own issues that caused him to step out.
The worst is when they admit to an affair and think they now are absolved bc they were so honest. "Now let's move on to your flaws as a wife" is their next move. So frustrating.
I think the brokenness needs to be defined better because many cheaters use that as an excuse and then have pity on themselves and think the betrayed should just forgive and move on. Many cheaters are very very selfish people that allow themselves to become such a bad character of a person they have no cares for who they hurt to have what they want. Many times its thinking they have to have constant admiration, excitement and validation no matter what they get at home.. After being caught they feel it isn't a big thing and cannot even see the devastating destruction they have caused. Being allowed to just say they are broken and I will try to change, just doesn't cut it. They must understand they have to change their character or they will simply do it all again when the betrayed let's their guard down and is trying to rebuild the marriage. Many cheaters take the brokenness excuse and feel they don't have to do any work to rebuild trust etc.
Yes yes yes to all of that. Now its woe is me bc you'll never forgive me so why try. Thats when they start to be prideful and unsympathetic and a protective mechanism against your rejection. The best is when they now start suspecting YOU bc they know if roles were reversed they either would leave or revenge cheat
They can also be addicts. Now that's really broken and needs to be addressed.
well I know this much…. The lies and trickle completely destroys any going forward period
Do you expect for a human, to not be angry longer that 1 day, when they find out that their spouse has had an affair. Thats completely unrealistic.
Wow...just wow! Right on point
When the fruit of the unfaithful shows they are fully invested in the marriage again, but they still adamently deny it happened at all, should the betrayed stay? How long should one wait for the truth to come to light?
Affairs are choices! Not your fault.
AWESOME.....JUST AWESOME!
SAY WHAT U WANT DO WHAT YOU LIKE...IF IT AINT BEEN SIGNED/ DONE BY ME...AND IT INVOLVES ME..YOU IN FOR GODDAMN FIGHT
Good stufff!
In my case it was the side chick telling him this and he believed it