How to Keep Your Wife Happy - Jon Richardson | NIDIOT | Universal Comedy
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- Опубліковано 17 лют 2022
- Jon Richardson has found the key to keeping his wife happy and satisfied.
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Twitter: / ronjichardson
Facebook: / ronjichardson
Website: www.jonrichardsoncomedy.com
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#StandUp #Comedy #JonRichardson - Комедії
Jon Richardson the guy who’s managed to make his OCD into a career. Hilarious
How does someone squeeze this much misplaced superiority into a single comment? It is almost approaching a modicum of actual talent.
@@elisabeths.7146 Why do you take so much offense to his comment?
@@Human-jv3zs i dont know i stop trying to understand
@@elisabeths.7146 "oh my god you are so right i cant believe people get away with this"- someone somewhere
James may?
This is the first I've seen of Jon Richardson. As someone who battles OCD daily, I have to say that he hit the nail right on the head. I honestly laughed outloud when he mentioned the tangled mic cable that had been burning my retinas 😂👏 Bravo that man. He's my new favourite.
Check out 8 out of 10 Cats, 8 out of 10 cats does Countdown, Taskmaster, and Meet the Richardsons, which he does with his wife. He's got some great stand up and has been a guest on numerous British panels shows. I love British and Irish comedians and he's one of my favorites.
He did a documentary called "A Little Bit OCD" where he learned more about himself and OCD. It's on UA-cam if you want to give it a try.
That's good stuff
I so agree with his point about toothpaste. Squeezing it from the middle is psychotic 😂😂
I do it just to prove that anyone who _cares_ how you squeeze a toothpaste tube is psychotic. Roll, middle, squeeze like a sphygmomanometer bulb, it all achieves the _same thing._
Do you still have metal toothpaste tubes? We have not had them for years, but I do remember if you don't squeeze the metal ones from the end, the bending the middle back and forth make is break and leak - so toothpaste squeezes out the sides and gets everywhere.
Our ones have been plastic for years, so it doesn't matter - they don't break. But it used to. A lot.
@@donrobertson4940 the real benefit of metal ones is that you can really roll them from the bottom tightly and they stay rolled, plastic ones tend to unroll themselves so toothpaste can be squeezed back into the empty bit...
You're right. Just squeeze it from just behind the part where it comes out from. Thank me later.
Fancy never sharing the same toothpaste for the rest of our lives? ;)
I may leave u unsatisfied but i wont leave u unbalanced 🤣🤣🤣
relatable.
It's mostly a joke... mostly, xD
That would actually matter to me 😅
@@Amaranthyne Me too
I need to hire Jon to clean my house to his standards. I'd love all the little lectures he'd give me too.
Thought about it, too, but there's more chance he'd burn the place down and start from scratch
@@innainna9372 "Is this electrical work up to code?, know what, fuckit i brought the bulldozer"
I love Jon SO MUCH! He makes my OCD look ultra-lightweight .
HAHAHAHA I was not expecting the final payoff at all.
What exactly happened? His wife called? So he did cheat after all?
@@CraftBasti No! He was thoroughly unmarried at this point. He and his *future* wife were exchanging numbers in the car, after a couple of dates and at that point, it was revealed to her [because it flashed upon his in car phone dashboard thingy] that he already had her in his phone as 'MY WIFE'.
Edited to add: Quoting another YT user @Samuel Turner to help make sense [and save me time]. The final payoff was a gag started earlier in the show.
'He was put in touch with his wife (Lucy Beaumont) by fellow comedian Roisin Conatly. She told him that she found someone for him (Lucy) and that genuinely she was going to be the one, and John wasn’t having it but to show that he would give it a go he saved Lucy’s number as my wife.
You can hear the full story in this vid at 3:45 ua-cam.com/video/bWqJxBfmjKg/v-deo.html
@@favouritemoon4133 u
@@favouritemoon4133 thank you for this added info. i didn't get it at all
Everyone in my family doesn't know how to squeeze out toothpaste. So I also have my own. Maniacs, the lot of 'em.
How did you end up alone in a family of toothpaste tube abusers?
Lately I have been buying toothpaste in a vertical tube you can keep upside down like ketchup. Furthermore it’s made of soft plastic so it gets back in shape after pressure. No more problems with squeezing from the middle.
@@pansepot1490 Unless they screw the cap back on sideways while still clutching it, so it's bent in the middle and can't even stand. Thanks, relatives, I didn't know dementia comes so early...
Yep I have mine in seperate drawer. Otherwise they’d use mine because they left the lid off theirs and dried it out.
"Happy wife, Happy life," because nothing rhymes with, "Happy husband" 😆😂
Happy husband, happy wine fund
Never met a single guy who has “happy wife happy life” as his mantra who was happy. They’re always just beaten down and defeated.
"Happy Spouse Happy House" if you wanna be politically correct
😂
The breaking of the form by a dressing the encore thing is so cool
This is comedy gold.
the last line is a callback from earlier in the special
Seriously though, improper dishwasher loading is a legitimate relationship ender in my book
You sound fun
I wouldn’t go that far but it is annoying, we just get the kids to do it now.
@@mrsstaff7876 as a child with dishwashing duties that hurt to read
@@okamiwithacamera6077 my kids are 18 and 19 now though
You must be single then.
Tik tok, it´s f*ck off o´clock - epic
his wakeup line 😅
I am now going to start using "Tick tock, f**k off o'clock"
I agree with most of these points and have the same conversations with my mrs since we married. I hate to be a pedant, but, if you died, she would then get the single occupancy discount again. Anyway back to laminating.
I’m not from England so I don’t know... but, would she? They have a kid who would be living there with Lucy... or is Single Occupancy only for adults?
@@cazkiwinz4300 yes kids don't count lol
Q. What kind of monster squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle?
A. My wife.
Oy Jon come on out for another we all miss you friend.
The real joke is that while you're lying they are also lying to you because they know your lying but it would be a mistake to call you on it haha
Great way to look at relationships: Its like toast, do both sides evenly and you'll be fine.
ironic that toasters should be some of the most inefficient kitchen appliances i have ever used, tho to be fair it is running on the idea of "heat wires really hot and try to singe bread" which isn't the most elaborate of concepts
I love this man…
My wife! 🤣🤣🤣
🤣😂🤣 he is me 🤣
A unique brand of humour.
1:15 I like the wave in the background at 1:17 based on the audiences cheer.
I didn't know Death the Kid did stand up comedy
That twisted mic cord is driving me crazy
Maybe I'm missing something obvious, but how did he have her saved in his phone as 'My Wife' if he didn't have her number yet?
yea...been trying to figure that one out too....we re probably just fucking dumb and missed something
He already did have her number. Roisin Conaty, the mutual friend who introduced them to each other, gave it to him and he jokingly saved it as "My wife". They're married now, so... :)
@@teagankonnerth1654 You didn't miss anything. He sets up the joke earlier on in the show, before this clip. Stijn has the details.
@@stijnoldenbeuving414 thanks, dude!
How could she struggle to pay the council tax increase if she killed him with the bad dishwasher filling since she would get the sole occupancy discount again once he wasn't living there anymore? His comedy rarely makes sense.
Lol oh
1:00 I see he predicted Eastenders
Winnit
Thenceforth is a real word. cool!
5:27 :D
"Tik-tok, f**k off o'clock!"
I've been married for 50 years. Now I squeeze the toothpaste in the middle as well. To hell with it!
Fucking nutjob.i love him.
So, the dishwasher, my mum i remember I had done the washing up when I was about 9 years old and she screamed at me saying the whole house was going to die because I put a dinner knife (not a sharp knife the cutlery kind) handle down and apparently we’re all gonna fall eye first on it and die.
Counsel tax - yes you lose single persons buy it’s then spilt between 2 people so it’s cheaper!
If you're paying the council tax 50/50, it's better than paying the 75% on your own
Man
That'd be pretty embarrassing wouldn't it
But at the same time, it could seem wholesome to her
Luck based I'd say
And I think I'm not only one who wants to hear the next part of the story
Spoiler alert, she is his wife now.
I also wanna hear the response, but it evidently worked out, cause she literally is now his wife.
@@chaoticneutral6288 Why did he not realize he already had her in his contacts?
Well, the contact name wasn't wrong
Does he even realize that you can just stuff your sleeping bag into it's sack without rolling it up? It's easier.
Easier, yes. More orderly, no.
You monster
Debatable
It's not easier or quicker because it never fits in properly that way, so then I have to take it out and roll it anyway
@@isabellakeman2016 It always fits in that way.
Never put knife's in the dishwasher it dulls them you think John would know that
I am pretty sure he owns a sharpening rod.
* Jon *
@@clownguy well he does have a wife and she does have a tongue ...
What does this even mean
@@JosephDiveley what ?
Ummm... I didn't get the punch line right at the end of the video... is there a part of the video missing or am I slow?? Why did he have her saved in his phone as his wife? Or is that the punch line and we're supposed to know that he saved her number as "my wife"? :/
Yep there was another story to do with how his friend gave him her number
Hol up. You get a discount for living by yourself in England ? Will someone please send my invitation already? I’m DYING over here!!
Only on council tax, which is about 900 a year that you pay to the local council for reasons. It's a 25% discount if you live alone with no other adults. If you're so hard up that a couple hundred quid would make a massive difference in your life then maybe you need to reassess your life?
@@mydogeatspuke how does having monetary struggles correlate with needing an assessment of your life?
Surprise payments come up, prices of everything are rising, rainy days happen, disability can influence budgeting needs; I can go on.
This is an extremely privileged and narrow viewpoint.
@@HomoLegalMedic if a couple hundred quid would make a massive difference then of course it correlates. I never said that surprises don't happen, but responsible people have money aside for that eventuality, because they know that these things can happen, and they budget what income they have rather than just spending it willy nilly in the hopes that someone else will give them extra if they need it. It isn't priveleged to put aside a couple hundred on the off chance you might need it one day and just not spend it. It's just responsible. Unless someone is homeless, it is completely possible to do this, and if they are homeless then the 25% council tax discount wouldn't matter in the first place since you need to be the sole occupant of a property that pays council tax to qualify for it. You're getting offended by your imagination.
@@mydogeatspuke I'm not getting offended, I'm pointing out an error.
80% of UK citizens have less than £500 in their bank account. That includes lawyers, doctors, nurses, soldiers, all people I would call "responsible". You're saying "unless someone is homeless" insinuating that people who aren't homeless can't have money troubles, and if they do, they're not responsible.
I'm a medical student in the UK. One car problem, a house repair, a single burglary all would ruin me; and that's with strict budgeting and a savings account. Some people don't have the availability to work and save, or restrict their budget anymore. I don't go out drinking, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't buy takeaways and I only buy under £15 video games on Steam sales.
Where do you think I need to reassess my life?
@@HomoLegalMedic I genuinely could not care less about you or your life story.
Yes lying is a great saver
bro the comedian s sound is 1000x lower than the public
Neurotics can be funny, which is fortunate, I guess. Psychologists are not cheap.
swap genders... and it's me and my gf. lol.
feels like i'm living with detective monk XD
When does the comedy start?
He sounds like, and even looks like, Tyson Fury.
Well this didn't work out for him.
In hindsight, these are all the reasons she left.
So why is she calling him when he already has her number?
You need to watch the full routine. He got given her number by the mutual friend that introduced them. I wouldn't want someone to know that I already had their phone number until after they told me - you'd look like a stalker. The joke was originally that he put the number in and wrote "my wife" as a bit of tongue in cheek. I hope that makes more sense now.
Yeah, I'm not a good liar and by consequence my wife fucking hates me.
Maybe she hates you because you keep lying to her?
My husband got over this by buying the pump toothpaste, becausr I ignoree him everytime
Is that why my grandparents had pump toothpaste?! It all makes sense now
He's the British Sheldon Cooper, isn't he?
Last Question
What's A Strudel ?
Bloody Candle On It
I don't really have OCD but I FUCKING HATE when people squeeze from the middle. Maybe if it's a new tube and then you can roll it later but I just can't stand all that wasted toothpaste and how horrible the tube looks!
These routines may end up aging like milk - either that or it's an itemized list of the benefits of the divorce.
I'm a dude (ginger) married to a woman (also ginger)...let me tell ya, it's been a journey so far lol 🍺😆
The mic cord would drive me insane.
Most women would love to have a husband like Jon. Makes life easier for them and less reason to nag.
LIKE
I've been married for 21 years and we have had separate toothpaste tubes for 20. It's one of the best decisions we've ever made as a couple.
(I'm the one who rolls it from the bottom.)
How to Keep Your Wife Happy - Jon Richardson | NIDIOT | Universal Comedy 1851pm 18.2.22 ahahahaha... it's your john.
Soy
Like Dillinger
Keep lying about what? 😂
I don't get it. The only way "My Wife" could have shown up on his dashboard is if he already had her number and had labelled it as that.
Mate I was thinking the same thing. Glad someone else picked that up too. Would’ve been a good punchline if it made more sense. great comic tho
The setup (when a mutual friend gave him her number saying she would be his future wife, he said okay and added it to his phone using "My Wife" instead of her name, not thinking he had any chance at all with her) came earlier in his act before this clip.
@@EnglishMike That makes sense. I though maybe I wasn't paying enough attention. I went back in the clip a couple of times to see if I missed the setup. But it wasn't there.
@@EnglishMike you right bro
@@MedEighty this video doesn't show the beginning of his gig.
actually the best way to stay married over thirty years like I have is to not lie.
When you fck up take responsibility for it.
And even when you know you are right don't rub her face in it.
Because in the end do you want to be right? Or do you want to be laid?
Anyone else notice the writing on his mic hand, OCD is so bad he makes sure he doesn't forget any routine.
Is this why she divorced you?
Am I the only one who doesn't care about things like where the toothpaste is squeezed? 🤣🤣
No, there's you, and Jon's wife. Everyone else does it correctly.
The few. I would kill someone if they squeezed my toothpaste from the middle. 🤣
If you’re reading this, marry me Jon.
i love jon but it does bug me a little that it said "my wife" when he didn't have her number yet...
It makes sense if you see the whole show. Earlier he tells a story about a friend who convinces him to call a girl she insists will be perfect for him. So he jokingly puts her number in his phone as "My Wife."
Let's hope for Jon's sake, she doesn't watch his shows...
British comedy is in a dire fucking state. Squeezing toothpaste is what qualifies as a joke now?
I have this problem the capital city called morality. And I'm really bad at lying so I just figured I wouldn't do it. No wonder women aren't happy with me I'm a bad liar. But I think it says a lot about someone if they force you to be a liar. But I just can't sacrifice my principles for you.
It's a bloody joke mate, it's not meant to be advice for real life 🤣
@@mg8642 except it's not just a joke, otherwise it wouldn't be funny to so many people. And he gave examples of how he lies, so unless he's lying about lying, and as a result lying about his OCD.. not just a joke.
Whoever edited in these laughs did a bad job
This is a life and death query ! Please answer promptly. What is happening on the 2nd balcony up there ? It doesn't seem like an audience. What is up with that ?
Your mother
UK comedy is a fucking corpse
Accent too strong
For some.
His girlfriend has absolutely drained the life out of him. I used to really enjoy watching him until the relationship controlled him to inertia.
What a rubbish comment, you have really embarrassed yourself
@@mg8642 ... Because?
@@mg8642 👏👏👏
They have been married for at least 7 years now and have a daughter. Called life that.
So he had a girlfriend on the side whilst married? And the girlfriend accidentally picked up his wife's phone?? Doesn't make any sense at all and not funny
No this is from several years ago. He’s talking about his interactions his wife but at the time they were boyfriend and girlfriend.
@@samuelturner6076 Still makes zero sense! So he was talking about the past with his then girlfriend, he gives her his number and she calls it so that he can have her number but it is already stored on his phone as "my wife"? So it's a psychic phone, is that the joke? Everyone in the audience finds it hilarious so clearly I'm the DF!
@@aquacruisedb No. He was put in touch with his wife (Lucy Beaumont) by fellow comedian Roisin Conatly. She told him that she found someone for him (Lucy) and that genuinely she was going to be the one, and John wasn’t having it but to show that he would give it a go he saved Lucy’s number as my wife.
You can hear the full story in this vid at 3:45 ua-cam.com/video/bWqJxBfmjKg/v-deo.html
@@samuelturner6076 Ahh ok thanks. So this is just a terribly edited video then. If you hadn't seen that then it just doesn't make sense
@@aquacruisedb It does though, at the beginning of the bit he already stated that he was talking about his wife and the video title implies that too and he acknowledged the potentially creepy situation of him having her number already saved as my wife.
In the first sentence of the bit at 3:09 he says “there’s one thing I did, which is like, this is, as far as I’m concerned if you stay with someone after this sort of thing happens, everything that happens hence forth is your fault.”… “and this is also the last bit as well”.
And at 4:35 he said “what happened when we first started going out”.