And also get blamed for anything your siblings did, and because I'm the oldest, I apparently influenced them to do all the illegal and messed up things they did and even still do today as adults. It's mind-boggling and exhausting.. I recently had to go full no contact with my mom and all 3 of my siblings..it sucks
My mother would impulsively cut off my long wavy hair & tell my father it was my idea. He wouldn't speak to me for weeks because my long hair reminded him of his beloved grandma. This went on for years. Always unpredictable from my perspective. 😢 Dad never believed me. Thank you for validating our experiences.
My mom always wanted to cut off my hair too. My hair was long and thick and she was jealous of it because hers was short and thin. She always used to joke that she was going to cut mine off and put it on her head. Being a loving daughter, I let her cut off my long hair and gave it to her to have a hairpiece made out of it, but she never did. She just kept it in a box in her closet. She was so happy to cut off my beautiful long hair though. She couldn’t wait to go get the scissors when I finally gave her permission to cut it. I’ve grown my hair back out since then and no longer live with her. She still makes comments about how my hair is too long and I need to let her cut it whenever I visit her. I like having long hair. I wish she would leave me alone about it. She’s always body shamed my sister and me in different ways. My sister no longer talks to her. I found it too hard to go no contact so I’ve gone low contact.
That's awful. I thought mine was bad. Everytime I come home from the hairdressers she says "oh they've layered your hair" " they've thinned your hair" " your too old to have hair that long" and so it goes on. She took me to a dietician at the age of 13 because according to her I was fat. I was 7and a half stone and 5ft 2. The dietician told her off and suggested she got some help. She told her I was hourglass shape and that my weight was borderline too low considering I still had growing to do. This still goes on and I'm 45 😂 I just nod say yes and do what I want.
My mother used to belittle me in front of GROWN MEN when I was a child. It started before I was even ten years old. She ALWAYS had to have men’s attention even though she’d always tell me “men ain’t shit”
What about any boyfriend's? My Mom was inappropriate with them. Always had to make me look bad. She ruined every relationship I had and then I dated a narcissist. They became a team! I'm the scapegoat kid also. I ended cutting my whole family off. They enabled her abuse and my fathers sexual abuse while telling me I was crazy. I made it all up. I'm healing now and have found Jesus though and I forgave them. For my soul
@@marybeth3660 I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I never brought boyfriends near enough because I always feared what she’d do. My mother would take any man who would have her. ❤️
Yep, that's what my own daughter did, but she is Bipolar and he put her like she was his wife and I was just the maid and babysitter, mind you she was hurting me, then he played victim after he hurt me and so did my son, all 3 of them against me, when I have 2 back surgeries and digestive ISSUES, mind you I got blamed for his lies, because he said that I did something that I never did, but he causes ISSUES..
They can even turn our husbands and children, our nuclear and extended families, our teachers, our friends, our neighbors, and even strangers who she met in a long journey against us. I've been living like this for decades. When I cut her off, she flew into a rage and made me the guilty one.
Wow! This is 100% true. She always did this to me. Everyone believed her except for my youngest brother. She even wanted my children to be closer to her than to me. When they were teens she would say to me, “I try to get them to say negative things about you but they just won’t go there.” Who would do such a thing? She always saw me as the competition! Sick. Thank you Danish for your validation.
You summed up my whole life! 🤯 Like wow, I am blown away. My Mom literally did every single one of these things and still tries to as much as possible. I lived in a big family but was always alone and ostracized. My mom blamed everything on me and made everyone in my family believe everything was all my fault. I wasn't able to have a relationship with my dad till after I moved away and here I am at 40 and she still tries to ruin it. My brothers don't talk to me because they still see me as the villain, praise my "perfect" mother and see me as a trouble maker who ruins the family. Thank you for this video. It helps make sense of things and validates that I'm not crazy. What she did and is doing is real. I'm not crazy
Oh you’re not crazy I was from a large family she’d be mean and cruel she’d ridicule you in front of visitors I was always in tears when visitors came I was happy to see them but that’s when she’d ridicule me till I cried and she was happy. She’d tell dad that I’d been a little bitch and he had no reason to not believe her then my eldest sister told him a few home truths. I think he looked for it but she mainly did it out of his sight. The reason she didn’t like me was A. I wasn’t a boy and B I was born on a Saturday and ruined her weekend. C. I reminded dad of his favourite deceased sister. She died six years ago and I haven’t shed a tear we had nothing so I lost nothing.
@@Bille62 I understand the "I wasn't a boy" thing! That was one of the reasons my mom was the way she was towards me. I was the "aw crap, it's a girl" who messed up her bunch of boys. She always preferred boys and had 5 of them. I was the only girl. The one who ruined everything in her world just by being born.
My mother can’t stand my father (they’re still married only because boomers aren’t known to divorce even if they hate each other) but she doesn’t want anyone else to have him either. She once mentioned that she’s “sure” Dad will remarry shortly after she passes. She’s not sick. Many men do remarry shortly after loosing a spouse (men can’t be alone for a minute, especially if their wives have literally done everything for them). Mother is jealous of me for the high quality men I’ve dated (then married), and has remarked, “how do YOU get such good looking men?” She’s jealous of my home, car, job, free time, geographic location where I live. She criticizes all of that at any opportunity just to create drama. For example, we could both have EXACTLY the same microwave but somehow HERS would be better, even if I got mine for a cheaper price. It’s exhausting growing up in a house like that.
I was Married to a Covert Narcissist and we have two daughters together extremely jealous of everything there was always a problem if I spent time doing anything with our two daughters. GOD-BLESS.
They also paint us with colours to flatter infront of people so that they will praise her as a very good mother, but behind the scenes all we got was beating, abuses both physically and emotionally and mentally😢
I have experienced this with my stepmother, which rings so true. Even worse, with a stepmother she writes you off as just as bad as the ex wife immediately despite being a child. She believed my mother told him to get a new family so he did. It is messed up sadly.
Completamente cierto!!! ella impone su hipócrita narrativa a toda la familia y tú no tienes más remedio que alejarte. Gracias y un abrazo desde España 💪🇪🇸
I’m a caregiver for my narcissistic mother. She made my life hell on earth during my father’s decline, time in palliative care and eventual passing from cancer. She was cruel to him as well since he wasn’t as useful to her. He had brain cancer and she used to yell in his face that he was “losing it,” and then when he would react poorly to her cruelty, she would come to me and say he was verbally abusing her. I knew what she was like, so I often had to stand up for my dad. Being her caregiver…I wish I had gone no contact with her decades ago. I am contemplating just leaving. I gave up my career and left my city across the country to move back in to my childhood home and help out with my dad. I wish I had left after his funeral.
Yes! And only as a grown up and especially after you become a parent yourself only then you will begin to understand what you went through and how wrong and really weird it was.
As an Only child of a NARCISSISTIC Mother..it was a daily HELL on earth!!! Later in her late 70s after my father died..she had only me to turn too! I took her in and then she started doing the same between me and my husband.😢
Just when you let your guard down & think they have softened up,their claws come out again& it's still the same manipulative she devil underneath the fake mellow facade.
It's like you were living my life.. so weird.. and she was a minsters wife..of course no one believed me about anything...she spent her whole life turning my dad and brothers against me.. then my daughter .. then tried it with my grandkids.. It's terrible but I only felt relief when she died.. now I alternate between anger and sympathy when I think about her.. sympathy bc I can't even imagine the hell that went on in her head
My hair was cut to match my brothers. We got our haircuts at the barbershop. She wants the pictures from my childhood where I matched my brother in appearance.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Big Hug. She may want the pictures but you don't have to give them... They are YOURS 🙏 Praying healing for your heart
This is what my mother has been doing to me all my life even as an adult and my mother and father have long been divorced she still calls him and sends him msgs to make him fight with me making up stories
Literally left my narc mom, enabler dad, and enabling siblings 3 weeks ago today. I still get texts from mom complaining. I was the scapegoat and I’m thankful I left in the early hours of the morning when I did. She’s turned my family against me and tbh I’m okay with that since I’m with someone that actually cares and it’s unconditional. Debating if I should go back to no contact with her. To anyone wondering if you should leave, do it. It’ll help you so much and the guilt isin’t easy but it does end up being worth it.
That wasn't my mother, at least not to me; but that was my father. He saw me as a competition against his smarts and drove the entire family against me. My mother and my sister fought a lot, but I also have a feeling it was in part because my father elected my daughter as his clear favorite and made her go against everyone else, which made her confrontational (and also very lonely after he died).
Yes, once, I told her that my dad was on my side, she immédiately said an awful sexual thing that I could not even write... You're right, she thinks you're a rival, she always told me I was ugly and that she regretted I was born
My mother always compares everything about me and my life with her and her life and always wants to convince me and everyone else that she is better then me. That is only 1 of the many narcissistic traits I discovered she has. #survivor #healing
exact my experiance. My Narc.Mom died 25 jears ago and now i' am understanding how evil she was. She separated me from my dad and also from my own children and all relatives. I could' not see this when i was young, naive and totally busy over the time. May god forgive her and her abusing relatives. This is soo hard and painful, i never could be in peace with her until she died. Thanks for this Info
My narcissistic mother alleged I tried seducing her husband when I went to visit him to see my half brother who was little at the time. I was a teen and I was crying every night because I missed him so much as she won’t let me see him when I moved out and wasn’t speaking to her. My only chance of seeing him was when he was with his dad. I was so ashamed and disgusted by what she was saying that I didn’t even answer her back.. how naive I was wow it took many many years for me to understand why she was lying so much and tarnishing me with everyone like that. I was her scapegoat I was the only child who said NO to her and I’m glad at least for that! 😂 despite a proper suffering on every level for about 20 years!! 🦾 stay strong peeps!
Mine told people I seduced my stepdad, had an affair (absolutely none of that happened) and that's why they had to get a divorce. Couldn't be that he left her because she beat him up all the time. /s I haven't seen him since the day he kicked me out after HS graduation. Why I share that is to let you know you are not alone. But it was hard enough hearing sexual rumors about myself and who knows what else as an adult. But you had to take that rumor on as a child and I'm sorry you had to deal with that sick 💩. I totally understand, my little brother was everything to me. He died from addiction, too much trauma. But you went into the belly of the beast to love and support yours. I hope he understands now. 💜💜💜
@@StephieGsrEvolution Thank u Stephie 🙏 for the validation.. yeah a few years later the beast and her husband also separated and she said the exact same thing.. that me and my sister (from the same dad) are the reason for her divorce and ruining her life.. how typical! 😀 she doesn’t even say why? We weren’t even living with her!!! I’m so sorry about your brother 💔💔💔 mine still lives with her under her manipulation and at 22 says he is deeply depressed at times. I pray he sees sense soon. X lots of love.
@@StephieGsrEvolution yeahhhh....I bought a bed, bedding and desk and set up a room for her in my house and offered for her to move in or simply spend the night after watching a movie, since it was late-whatever she felt was best...among some of the things she said that night...was that she "knew you [me] were trying to kidnap" me[her]. I've never wanted to throw someone out so hard! I get it. She's trauma bonded and all she has known are abusers and controllers. It's just hard to have a heart to help someone get away (the Mom was trying to have her declared insane--additionally keeping her from sleeping and illegally withdrawing her from law school without her consent or knowledge)-and have her say that. No one stays in my house against their will.
Yes yes and yes!!! I live this with my daughter and ex wife( I’m no contact). My ex created a riff with my daughter and me( and others) decades in the making. Could never build a normal relationship with her( my child). When my ex was ready and could not control me anymore, she blew her narc whistle and started the war. I walked away. Much better life sans them.
I can praise GOD, that my Pop saw through her insanity. We had a very close & awesome relationship. He passed last year & now, I've had to walk away from the mom & younger sister. I'm finally on my healing journey 60 yrs later. But your correct, she was extremely jealous of my relationship with Pop. Now she says your just like him. She thinks it's an insult, me, I laugh & say THANK YOU!
Narc mother pos told me how much she hated me from day1. Told me "I'M the only one who is allowed to be daddy's little girl". Try being a child and figuring that one out. Spot on, Danish.
Thank God 🤲, I had a wonderful, loving mother!!! But my husband did the very same to our five year (!) old son back then! He incited the whole family against me and of all people, against my son. It was so cruel, and we felt so helpless!😢 The only person, who fought for him was me!
It was a stepmother for me so she went full force on me. She openly tells the story of how I apparently wronged her at the age of 3 years old. My father and family actually support her and that story. She emotionally abused the living daylights out of me and still tells a story of being victimized by me.
Remember! You are currently going through the process which made your parent a narcissist. They was unable to stay hard with emotions created on them by their parent or someone. They suppressed those emotions. So they became narc. 🗣 Your easiest decision also was to be a narcissist. Though you unaware, You can still do it. Right now. It change whole world view of you you also become internally dead person. 👿 But you did not give up. You still trying to be a the normal person. Reason is you are very brave and bold. 🔥 Stay strong 💪. When the time come let the narcissist go of your life.
Yeah, I think though its more like she is so insecure and self oriented that she doesnt at all see "you" as separate, she thinks of you in her mind as an object or tool (becuase deeply she sees herself this way, very harsh and critically as ugly wrong bad etc, does not have compassion for herself)....she will call you a prostitute, and blame you for everything she thinks and feels and play victim to your actions. She feels a deep need to destroy and harm something else (to avoid feeling pain and being honest with herself) and you are the only thing she has power over (she must play innocent/fun to society, play good wife to husband, and she wants her sons approval and validation). She doesn't hate "you", she doesnt exist as a whole person and does not have a role model of functional or empowered, full women. She hates first those who violated-used-rejected-betrayed her and second herself because she (in most cases) stayed loyal to her abusers (less--small and weak and stupid in her own eyes/mind to please their egos), ignored her own suffering, silenced her voice, and betrayed her own body/soul to "keep going and survive" but really just kept abusing herself to the point where her childhood, emotions and body aren't hers anymore. She is in a hell of her own unconscious making (by not assuming her power or coming in alignment with truth)--but a convenient one where she's in safe and familiar territory and can control pain to some extent in hers and others lives. She thinks that in destroying something else, then she will stop feeling this annoying hateful rage inside. Its like the devil though, posession, its deeply not personal at all, if you are strong enough as a woman you will gain your life by resisting playing these games and starving the demonic force that holds your mother. But you will have to admit to yourself that she is incapable of loving you, and that you will never be perfect (all good-all bad) and you will have to accept the pain and loss and ugliness of the whole situation, which is very very difficult for people especially children to do--its scary, uncertain and just plain dangerous when you realize what is going on and how little support or trust you have in your life, that you maybe were not "loved" by her ever, but used as a tool always.
💯💯💯 well said! And worse, if she's sociopathic enough, she will continue decades after estrangement to keep trying to destroy you. Death doesn't even seem like it will end it. I spend my time wishing her soul peace now and praying over and over not to have to deal with her in any way shape or form for all eternity.
True. After decades of not being believed and not taken seriously by many family members. Silenced, bullied and ridiculed by siblings who went through the same BS. The truth finally came out!! After one favourite sibling lost it all. Other siblings and family members came in rushing and wanting to talk and show empathy. They believed me and now and understood my choices. But it's too late. I helped my sibling and went grey rock. It's over. No more abuse in any aspect of my life
Thank you for such a profound response, as this is my life in a nutshell. Including, attempting to treat my daughter, her only grandchild, the same way she treated me. I wish us all healing, happiness, and peace
My mum found out I was S.Abused by my youth worker at 16 years old. She never supported me. It was a horrible time. She made up instead that I was sleeping with my step dad who I consider to be my father. No thought of that kind was in my head. He was just the only person to love me and care about me. My mum would get jealous when I would harm myself and have to go to the hospital. She would threaten my step dad and say she will leave him if he follows the ambulance to the hospital where I was being admitted. This traumatic event really messed me up as I felt like I couldn’t talk to my step dad or be alone with him without feeling like I was in the wrong I subconsciously developed the thoughts of uncomfortableness around him and always watched what I said and avoided hugging him. I was scared to and I felt wrong for doing so. Even though I hadn’t been doing what mum accused me of. I swear to god she hates me.
Well youve just described my mother and her family. My dad always stood up for me, he knew what she was doing and she hated me even more for it and turned her whole side of her family against me, i didnt give af i hated them all anyway theyre boring, judgemental freaks. My dad was an only child who was close to his parents and i was so close to his mum and she always stiod up for me where my mother was concerned to the point she wanted me to go and live with her but of course the narc said no, who would she rip to shreds on a daily basis if i wasnt there? Certainly not my brother!
Yes, they are experts. Both parents N's. It was a lonely, chaotic, abusive childhood. Its not much different 5.5 decades on; except there is only the N mother now. Same clown, same circus, revised tricks. She has reminded me recently that she is sick of me and I should unalive myself. Its a modern version from childhood where I was told she should of terminated me. (considering the neglect which enabled child SA, I concur).
But My daughter always became very very nasty . Even when she was 6 like constant hitting on the wall and calling me all the time in the night when her father was with me. Now she is 26 and always wanted .also het half sister. Keep me separate from her father. When he was dying 4 weeks ago. I visited him in hospital and i notised how strange they looked when his face light up seeing me. He wanted to hold my hand all the time.
My dad died because of this reason narcissistic wife who happens to be my biological mother . Long story short she would tell me all sort of stories that I hate dad from the age of 5-6 later I realised. I am very sure wherever dad is he’s doing better than before alas he had chose death over divorce as my mom wasn’t ready to give him one . How she tricked me took me with her abused me there kept me away from my father 🙂 but yes she’s suffering, A LOT.
My father and my stepfather. I went "no contact" because she has proven over 50 years she's a narcissist. Since then, things have been peaceful. Sadly she treated my sister like a mini me. Then she did the whole thing over again with my daughter. She's psycho and I will play "ding dong the witch is ⚰️" when I find out she's facing her judgement.
My mother... She used me as a target of sexual experiments, to see if i could feel sexual feelings. Because she was confused, why she was not sexual arroused. And to know if her daughter could experience sexual things. My father never knew. I never told... She said shhhuuut wither finger, never tell anyone. She said...put your underwear on again, when the doorbell rang. So i obeyed. It is horrible. No one believed.... Not even psychiatrists. I could never be in a healthy relationship anymore. Thank you mamy.
The narc objectifies his daughter, and they would sleep in the same bed, and yes, his mom was the cult leader, she never had to even get up,she had 8 kids hand feeding her, I never saw her even go outside.. just sat Infront of the TV and screamed at her adult kids , bring her tea, I couldn't talk to her, I felt such a bad energy , and everyone would give me dirty looks. Very horrendous.
I lived this. I pray for any woman who goes through this. ❤
Same here😢
❤
Mee too..
Me too
Me too. Since childhood my mother alienated me from my siblings (brothers)n my dad
It is a real, very brutal torture to have a narcissistic mother...
Yes! And you also get blamed for anything the mother does wrong.
Yes!
And also get blamed for anything your siblings did, and because I'm the oldest, I apparently influenced them to do all the illegal and messed up things they did and even still do today as adults. It's mind-boggling and exhausting.. I recently had to go full no contact with my mom and all 3 of my siblings..it sucks
Sick + Warped + Jealous + Evil = *Narcissist* .
My mother would impulsively cut off my long wavy hair & tell my father it was my idea. He wouldn't speak to me for weeks because my long hair reminded him of his beloved grandma. This went on for years. Always unpredictable from my perspective. 😢 Dad never believed me. Thank you for validating our experiences.
gosh 🫢
That's awful that your mum did that and that your dad did that too!
Mine too did that when I was a kid.
My mom always wanted to cut off my hair too. My hair was long and thick and she was jealous of it because hers was short and thin. She always used to joke that she was going to cut mine off and put it on her head. Being a loving daughter, I let her cut off my long hair and gave it to her to have a hairpiece made out of it, but she never did. She just kept it in a box in her closet. She was so happy to cut off my beautiful long hair though. She couldn’t wait to go get the scissors when I finally gave her permission to cut it. I’ve grown my hair back out since then and no longer live with her. She still makes comments about how my hair is too long and I need to let her cut it whenever I visit her. I like having long hair. I wish she would leave me alone about it. She’s always body shamed my sister and me in different ways. My sister no longer talks to her. I found it too hard to go no contact so I’ve gone low contact.
That's awful. I thought mine was bad. Everytime I come home from the hairdressers she says "oh they've layered your hair" " they've thinned your hair" " your too old to have hair that long" and so it goes on. She took me to a dietician at the age of 13 because according to her I was fat. I was 7and a half stone and 5ft 2. The dietician told her off and suggested she got some help. She told her I was hourglass shape and that my weight was borderline too low considering I still had growing to do. This still goes on and I'm 45 😂 I just nod say yes and do what I want.
My mother used to belittle me in front of GROWN MEN when I was a child. It started before I was even ten years old. She ALWAYS had to have men’s attention even though she’d always tell me “men ain’t shit”
What about any boyfriend's? My
Mom was inappropriate with them. Always had to make me look bad. She ruined every relationship I had and then I dated a narcissist. They became a team! I'm the scapegoat kid also. I ended cutting my whole family off. They enabled her abuse and my fathers sexual abuse while telling me I was crazy. I made it all up. I'm healing now and have found Jesus though and I forgave them. For my soul
@@marybeth3660 I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I never brought boyfriends near enough because I always feared what she’d do. My mother would take any man who would have her.
❤️
Omg same here
@@marybeth3660God bless you ✨
Many times it is the daughter that tries to wake their father up to her mother's abusive nature.
He will protect her like the enabler he is.
Yep, that's what my own daughter did, but she is Bipolar and he put her like she was his wife and I was just the maid and babysitter, mind you she was hurting me, then he played victim after he hurt me and so did my son, all 3 of them against me, when I have 2 back surgeries and digestive ISSUES, mind you I got blamed for his lies, because he said that I did something that I never did, but he causes ISSUES..
@@sonyvalencia💯💯💯 That's exactly what my dad did throughout our lives! He never stood up for us, not once! 😡😡😡
Facts my mother in a whole nutshell
A gal gets pushed into the competition and guilted for being there.
❤😂🎉🎉🎉 WOW you just read my whole childhood!!!!😢 yup, I was raised by a Narc.........I survived and am in therepy
Absolutely the same symptoms when a narcissistic father to daughter.
These people set up the appearance of this type of problem and cause the child misdirection and profound confusion.
Resonates and once my father passed away, continued to target me with siblings
Even the grand daughter. Experienced this first hand. Worst part colourism in Asian households makes it worst.
Oh my gosh - to hear it verbally … thank you.
They can even turn our husbands and children, our nuclear and extended families, our teachers, our friends, our neighbors, and even strangers who she met in a long journey against us. I've been living like this for decades. When I cut her off, she flew into a rage and made me the guilty one.
Wow! This is 100% true. She always did this to me. Everyone believed her except for my youngest brother. She even wanted my children to be closer to her than to me. When they were teens she would say to me, “I try to get them to say negative things about you but they just won’t go there.” Who would do such a thing? She always saw me as the competition! Sick. Thank you Danish for your validation.
Danish everything you said here is 100% correct. The pain an NPD mother inflicts is not like anything else. I just love your videos.
This is so true... and in my experience, my mother then turned her hatred towards my daughter, her only female grandchild.
A narc mother make the victim daughter think whether she is her step mother 🤔
This is so true 😢.
You summed up my whole life! 🤯 Like wow, I am blown away. My Mom literally did every single one of these things and still tries to as much as possible. I lived in a big family but was always alone and ostracized. My mom blamed everything on me and made everyone in my family believe everything was all my fault. I wasn't able to have a relationship with my dad till after I moved away and here I am at 40 and she still tries to ruin it. My brothers don't talk to me because they still see me as the villain, praise my "perfect" mother and see me as a trouble maker who ruins the family.
Thank you for this video. It helps make sense of things and validates that I'm not crazy. What she did and is doing is real. I'm not crazy
Oh you’re not crazy I was from a large family she’d be mean and cruel she’d ridicule you in front of visitors I was always in tears when visitors came I was happy to see them but that’s when she’d ridicule me till I cried and she was happy. She’d tell dad that I’d been a little bitch and he had no reason to not believe her then my eldest sister told him a few home truths. I think he looked for it but she mainly did it out of his sight. The reason she didn’t like me was A. I wasn’t a boy and B I was born on a Saturday and ruined her weekend. C. I reminded dad of his favourite deceased sister. She died six years ago and I haven’t shed a tear we had nothing so I lost nothing.
@@Bille62 I understand the "I wasn't a boy" thing! That was one of the reasons my mom was the way she was towards me. I was the "aw crap, it's a girl" who messed up her bunch of boys. She always preferred boys and had 5 of them. I was the only girl. The one who ruined everything in her world just by being born.
I was step father, and I wanted to help her daughter grow, well she made sure I won’t even have a little talk with her daughter😢😢
She even insinuated that my dad and I were having a se*ual relationship because we were close. I asked God why she hated me, JEALOUSY
Same here, it was sickening.
My mother can’t stand my father (they’re still married only because boomers aren’t known to divorce even if they hate each other) but she doesn’t want anyone else to have him either. She once mentioned that she’s “sure” Dad will remarry shortly after she passes. She’s not sick. Many men do remarry shortly after loosing a spouse (men can’t be alone for a minute, especially if their wives have literally done everything for them).
Mother is jealous of me for the high quality men I’ve dated (then married), and has remarked, “how do YOU get such good looking men?” She’s jealous of my home, car, job, free time, geographic location where I live. She criticizes all of that at any opportunity just to create drama.
For example, we could both have EXACTLY the same microwave but somehow HERS would be better, even if I got mine for a cheaper price. It’s exhausting growing up in a house like that.
I was Married to a Covert Narcissist and we have two daughters together extremely jealous of everything there was always a problem if I spent time doing anything with our two daughters. GOD-BLESS.
Girls of narc mother's Unite Forever!!!!
They also paint us with colours to flatter infront of people so that they will praise her as a very good mother, but behind the scenes all we got was beating, abuses both physically and emotionally and mentally😢
oh yeah! the beating was so harsh, she started out of nowhere to beat the crap out of me when all i did was tryin to avoid her
I have experienced this with my stepmother, which rings so true. Even worse, with a stepmother she writes you off as just as bad as the ex wife immediately despite being a child. She believed my mother told him to get a new family so he did. It is messed up sadly.
This too common. 💜
Completamente cierto!!! ella impone su hipócrita narrativa a toda la familia y tú no tienes más remedio que alejarte. Gracias y un abrazo desde España 💪🇪🇸
I’m a caregiver for my narcissistic mother. She made my life hell on earth during my father’s decline, time in palliative care and eventual passing from cancer. She was cruel to him as well since he wasn’t as useful to her. He had brain cancer and she used to yell in his face that he was “losing it,” and then when he would react poorly to her cruelty, she would come to me and say he was verbally abusing her. I knew what she was like, so I often had to stand up for my dad.
Being her caregiver…I wish I had gone no contact with her decades ago. I am contemplating just leaving. I gave up my career and left my city across the country to move back in to my childhood home and help out with my dad. I wish I had left after his funeral.
Yes! And only as a grown up and especially after you become a parent yourself only then you will begin to understand what you went through and how wrong and really weird it was.
Now that I think about it, my grandmother would always try to make me feel bad for having a good relationship with my father.
As an Only child of a NARCISSISTIC Mother..it was a daily HELL on earth!!!
Later in her late 70s after my father died..she had only me to turn too!
I took her in and then she started doing the same between me and my husband.😢
Just when you let your guard down & think they have softened up,their claws come out again& it's still the same manipulative she devil underneath the fake mellow facade.
I hope that you put her in a nursing home. I’m an only child of my narcissistic mother too. No one deserves to be their punching bag.
It's like you were living my life.. so weird.. and she was a minsters wife..of course no one believed me about anything...she spent her whole life turning my dad and brothers against me.. then my daughter .. then tried it with my grandkids.. It's terrible but I only felt relief when she died.. now I alternate between anger and sympathy when I think about her.. sympathy bc I can't even imagine the hell that went on in her head
Yes! That’s exactly what she did and I couldn’t ever figure out why 🥺
You are so correct! My mother was a toxic and narcissistic person! Is like being in prision😮😢
My mother did this with me n my all brothers,she hates my father
My hair was cut to match my brothers. We got our haircuts at the barbershop. She wants the pictures from my childhood where I matched my brother in appearance.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Big Hug. She may want the pictures but you don't have to give them... They are YOURS 🙏 Praying healing for your heart
Mine too did that exact same thing.
This is what my mother has been doing to me all my life even as an adult and my mother and father have long been divorced she still calls him and sends him msgs to make him fight with me making up stories
Literally left my narc mom, enabler dad, and enabling siblings 3 weeks ago today. I still get texts from mom complaining.
I was the scapegoat and I’m thankful I left in the early hours of the morning when I did.
She’s turned my family against me and tbh I’m okay with that since I’m with someone that actually cares and it’s unconditional. Debating if I should go back to no contact with her.
To anyone wondering if you should leave, do it. It’ll help you so much and the guilt isin’t easy but it does end up being worth it.
Thank you for explaining this so perfectly. This is why I alwaya say, everyone should not be allowed to have kids.
Can you talk about how a narcissistic father acts toward their son?
That wasn't my mother, at least not to me; but that was my father. He saw me as a competition against his smarts and drove the entire family against me.
My mother and my sister fought a lot, but I also have a feeling it was in part because my father elected my daughter as his clear favorite and made her go against everyone else, which made her confrontational (and also very lonely after he died).
😢God only knows
Yes this was my step mother.
And she won. I don't see my father anymore. And she told lies to all the other family members about me.
Yes, once, I told her that my dad was on my side, she immédiately said an awful sexual thing that I could not even write...
You're right, she thinks you're a rival, she always told me I was ugly and that she regretted I was born
My mother always compares everything about me and my life with her and her life and always wants to convince me and everyone else that she is better then me.
That is only 1 of the many narcissistic traits I discovered she has.
#survivor #healing
Yes...so hard to explain your father after years of grooming.
Spot on. I still have nightmares of her and I'm in my 60's and she has been dead for years.
This is exactly what happened to me.
exact my experiance. My Narc.Mom died 25 jears ago and now i' am understanding how evil she was. She separated me from my dad and also from my own children and all relatives. I could' not see this when i was young, naive and totally busy over the time. May god forgive her and her abusing relatives. This is soo hard and painful, i never could be in peace with her until she died. Thanks for this Info
It's a problem even if you're adopted. 😢
My narcissistic mother alleged I tried seducing her husband when I went to visit him to see my half brother who was little at the time. I was a teen and I was crying every night because I missed him so much as she won’t let me see him when I moved out and wasn’t speaking to her. My only chance of seeing him was when he was with his dad. I was so ashamed and disgusted by what she was saying that I didn’t even answer her back.. how naive I was wow it took many many years for me to understand why she was lying so much and tarnishing me with everyone like that. I was her scapegoat I was the only child who said NO to her and I’m glad at least for that! 😂 despite a proper suffering on every level for about 20 years!! 🦾 stay strong peeps!
Mine told people I seduced my stepdad, had an affair (absolutely none of that happened) and that's why they had to get a divorce.
Couldn't be that he left her because she beat him up all the time. /s
I haven't seen him since the day he kicked me out after HS graduation.
Why I share that is to let you know you are not alone.
But it was hard enough hearing sexual rumors about myself and who knows what else as an adult.
But you had to take that rumor on as a child and I'm sorry you had to deal with that sick 💩.
I totally understand, my little brother was everything to me. He died from addiction, too much trauma.
But you went into the belly of the beast to love and support yours. I hope he understands now.
💜💜💜
@@StephieGsrEvolution Thank u Stephie 🙏 for the validation.. yeah a few years later the beast and her husband also separated and she said the exact same thing.. that me and my sister (from the same dad) are the reason for her divorce and ruining her life.. how typical! 😀 she doesn’t even say why? We weren’t even living with her!!! I’m so sorry about your brother 💔💔💔 mine still lives with her under her manipulation and at 22 says he is deeply depressed at times. I pray he sees sense soon. X lots of love.
@@LallaHind 💜💜💜praying for your brother, lot's of love back!
😢my dear friend to a "T"--and the Mom is old now! And still abuses the daughter! Like SO bad!
She's got to get away. It only gets worse.
@@StephieGsrEvolution yeahhhh....I bought a bed, bedding and desk and set up a room for her in my house and offered for her to move in or simply spend the night after watching a movie, since it was late-whatever she felt was best...among some of the things she said that night...was that she "knew you [me] were trying to kidnap" me[her]. I've never wanted to throw someone out so hard! I get it. She's trauma bonded and all she has known are abusers and controllers. It's just hard to have a heart to help someone get away (the Mom was trying to have her declared insane--additionally keeping her from sleeping and illegally withdrawing her from law school without her consent or knowledge)-and have her say that. No one stays in my house against their will.
@@hoperules8874 what a great friend you are! 💗
If it's too much, you may need to let her go, which is sad for her.
My father does when I was 3 but still what you said is absolutely true about my mother.
Yes yes and yes!!! I live this with my daughter and ex wife( I’m no contact). My ex created a riff with my daughter and me( and others) decades in the making. Could never build a normal relationship with her( my child). When my ex was ready and could not control me anymore, she blew her narc whistle and started the war. I walked away. Much better life sans them.
U should do a topic on why narcissist daughter hates their mother
Yep this was my mom. It was so confusing at the time. As I got older, she just got more inappropriate
I can praise GOD, that my Pop saw through her insanity. We had a very close & awesome relationship. He passed last year & now, I've had to walk away from the mom & younger sister. I'm finally on my healing journey 60 yrs later. But your correct, she was extremely jealous of my relationship with Pop. Now she says your just like him. She thinks it's an insult, me, I laugh & say THANK YOU!
Narc mother pos told me how much she hated me from day1. Told me
"I'M the only one who is allowed to be daddy's little girl". Try being a child and figuring that one out. Spot on, Danish.
What you said is 100% true..
Thank God 🤲, I had a wonderful, loving mother!!! But my husband did the very same to our five year (!) old son back then! He incited the whole family against me and of all people, against my son. It was so cruel, and we felt so helpless!😢 The only person, who fought for him was me!
Ewww
Oedipus Complex ...NARC neighbor daughter doesn't speak to her- no wonder..
Danish, do NARCS get along better with NARCS?🙄 🤔
Usually they don't, but it depends if they have common enemies. At some point they usually turn on each other.
Agreeeeeeee
It was a stepmother for me so she went full force on me. She openly tells the story of how I apparently wronged her at the age of 3 years old. My father and family actually support her and that story. She emotionally abused the living daylights out of me and still tells a story of being victimized by me.
Remember! You are currently going through the process which made your parent a narcissist.
They was unable to stay hard with emotions created on them by their parent or someone. They suppressed those emotions. So they became narc. 🗣
Your easiest decision also was to be a narcissist. Though you unaware, You can still do it. Right now. It change whole world view of you you also become internally dead person. 👿
But you did not give up. You still trying to be a the normal person. Reason is you are very brave and bold. 🔥
Stay strong 💪. When the time come let the narcissist go of your life.
Absolutely true.
You’re on a roll now Danish! 😢
Yes. Dats y my dad dint speak to me at all.. for 28 yrs till he died. Zero communication n I mean zero.
Her cult enables and feeds into her delusions by her trauma bond, or else she will abuse them too. They are weak and terrified of her behaviors.
Yeah, I think though its more like she is so insecure and self oriented that she doesnt at all see "you" as separate, she thinks of you in her mind as an object or tool (becuase deeply she sees herself this way, very harsh and critically as ugly wrong bad etc, does not have compassion for herself)....she will call you a prostitute, and blame you for everything she thinks and feels and play victim to your actions. She feels a deep need to destroy and harm something else (to avoid feeling pain and being honest with herself) and you are the only thing she has power over (she must play innocent/fun to society, play good wife to husband, and she wants her sons approval and validation). She doesn't hate "you", she doesnt exist as a whole person and does not have a role model of functional or empowered, full women. She hates first those who violated-used-rejected-betrayed her and second herself because she (in most cases) stayed loyal to her abusers (less--small and weak and stupid in her own eyes/mind to please their egos), ignored her own suffering, silenced her voice, and betrayed her own body/soul to "keep going and survive" but really just kept abusing herself to the point where her childhood, emotions and body aren't hers anymore. She is in a hell of her own unconscious making (by not assuming her power or coming in alignment with truth)--but a convenient one where she's in safe and familiar territory and can control pain to some extent in hers and others lives. She thinks that in destroying something else, then she will stop feeling this annoying hateful rage inside. Its like the devil though, posession, its deeply not personal at all, if you are strong enough as a woman you will gain your life by resisting playing these games and starving the demonic force that holds your mother. But you will have to admit to yourself that she is incapable of loving you, and that you will never be perfect (all good-all bad) and you will have to accept the pain and loss and ugliness of the whole situation, which is very very difficult for people especially children to do--its scary, uncertain and just plain dangerous when you realize what is going on and how little support or trust you have in your life, that you maybe were not "loved" by her ever, but used as a tool always.
💯💯💯 well said!
And worse, if she's sociopathic enough, she will continue decades after estrangement to keep trying to destroy you. Death doesn't even seem like it will end it.
I spend my time wishing her soul peace now and praying over and over not to have to deal with her in any way shape or form for all eternity.
True. After decades of not being believed and not taken seriously by many family members. Silenced, bullied and ridiculed by siblings who went through the same BS.
The truth finally came out!!
After one favourite sibling lost it all. Other siblings and family members came in rushing and wanting to talk and show empathy.
They believed me and now and understood my choices. But it's too late.
I helped my sibling and went grey rock. It's over. No more abuse in any aspect of my life
Spot on.
Thank you for such a profound response, as this is my life in a nutshell. Including, attempting to treat my daughter, her only grandchild, the same way she treated me. I wish us all healing, happiness, and peace
@@lioness138w6 Sending all my love and strength your way, you're doing a great job just by being aware and caring
My mum found out I was S.Abused by my youth worker at 16 years old. She never supported me. It was a horrible time. She made up instead that I was sleeping with my step dad who I consider to be my father. No thought of that kind was in my head. He was just the only person to love me and care about me.
My mum would get jealous when I would harm myself and have to go to the hospital. She would threaten my step dad and say she will leave him if he follows the ambulance to the hospital where I was being admitted. This traumatic event really messed me up as I felt like I couldn’t talk to my step dad or be alone with him without feeling like I was in the wrong
I subconsciously developed the thoughts of uncomfortableness around him and always watched what I said and avoided hugging him. I was scared to and I felt wrong for doing so. Even though I hadn’t been doing what mum accused me of. I swear to god she hates me.
Well youve just described my mother and her family. My dad always stood up for me, he knew what she was doing and she hated me even more for it and turned her whole side of her family against me, i didnt give af i hated them all anyway theyre boring, judgemental freaks. My dad was an only child who was close to his parents and i was so close to his mum and she always stiod up for me where my mother was concerned to the point she wanted me to go and live with her but of course the narc said no, who would she rip to shreds on a daily basis if i wasnt there? Certainly not my brother!
1000% fact!
It's hell
Truth
Yes, they are experts. Both parents N's. It was a lonely, chaotic, abusive childhood. Its not much different 5.5 decades on; except there is only the N mother now. Same clown, same circus, revised tricks. She has reminded me recently that she is sick of me and I should unalive myself. Its a modern version from childhood where I was told she should of terminated me. (considering the neglect which enabled child SA, I concur).
This is so true!
But
My daughter always became very very nasty . Even when she was 6 like constant hitting on the wall and calling me all the time in the night when her father was with me.
Now she is 26 and always wanted .also het half sister. Keep me separate from her father.
When he was dying 4 weeks ago. I visited him in hospital and i notised how strange they looked when his face light up seeing me.
He wanted to hold my hand all the time.
🙏
Thanks this is very correct 💯
My dad died because of this reason narcissistic wife who happens to be my biological mother . Long story short she would tell me all sort of stories that I hate dad from the age of 5-6 later I realised. I am very sure wherever dad is he’s doing better than before alas he had chose death over divorce as my mom wasn’t ready to give him one . How she tricked me took me with her abused me there kept me away from my father 🙂 but yes she’s suffering, A LOT.
Like Snowwhite.
Yes ❤.
Yup
Its pathetic......
My father and my stepfather. I went "no contact" because she has proven over 50 years she's a narcissist. Since then, things have been peaceful. Sadly she treated my sister like a mini me. Then she did the whole thing over again with my daughter.
She's psycho and I will play "ding dong the witch is ⚰️" when I find out she's facing her judgement.
this is why i will never let anybody from my family near my children if ill ever have them
💯💯💯
What about the other way around when the daughter is a narcissist?
My mother...
She used me as a target of sexual experiments, to see if i could feel sexual feelings. Because she was confused, why she was not sexual arroused. And to know if her daughter could experience sexual things.
My father never knew.
I never told...
She said shhhuuut wither finger, never tell anyone. She said...put your underwear on again, when the doorbell rang.
So i obeyed. It is horrible.
No one believed....
Not even psychiatrists.
I could never be in a healthy relationship anymore.
Thank you mamy.
The narc objectifies his daughter, and they would sleep in the same bed, and yes, his mom was the cult leader, she never had to even get up,she had 8 kids hand feeding her, I never saw her even go outside.. just sat Infront of the TV and screamed at her adult kids , bring her tea, I couldn't talk to her, I felt such a bad energy , and everyone would give me dirty looks. Very horrendous.
Truth
Yup