One of the most important things for a man is to be able to speak what’s on are mind and not hold in all are emotions. I’m glad he has someone special that can be there for him when he needs it the most.
@@Cussy69_420 he never said it didn’t apply to woman. But it’s obvious why he didn’t feel the need to say ‘women’ and that’s because they are already known to speak their emotions already, whereas men usually don’t speak up.
No one cares. Men are "provide or die" like Chris Rock said, only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are terrified of this world and that's how we end up so estranged and sad. And still. No one gives a fuck.
The problem is, that mentality was created by men for men. Men need to fight to change those standards and teach their sons, brothers, friends, and strangers
I can relate with him very much, friends/family/partners can only tolerate so much. When he starts tearing and talking about Mia, that moment when he looks down I know this feeling ans it's heart breaking, being helpless, pushing everyone away specially that one at the top of the list, putting them through he'll, lies and shit and they still show up and find time. This resonates so much it leaves in a feeling that there is and will be hope for me or anyone else struggling. 🙏
How anyone can watch this and not be moved to tears is beyond me...this is like seeing the real shia for the first time...becoming a parent and spouse changes you..it makes you love someone more then yourself...and that is an extremely powerful motivator people...I believe him..that he has changed and am so happy for him and Mia and their baby..I wish them every happiness the world can offer
I know next to nothing about Mia Goth, and I walked away from this interview with the utmost respect for her. The story Shia told about their reconciliation was the most touching thing I have ever heard. May God continue to bless them.
Hard not to get emotional watching this because it’s raw and unfiltered sadness happiness guilt self-worth salvation and a few other things all mixed in one story. The fact that none of his family came and then his wife was there for him when he was most vulnerable and kept him going, that’s something as a man I hope to find one day, someone who won’t just be there for the good times but when I’m at my lowest of lows
Damn man..Jon just letting Shia let it all out..Great interview and great to know we got Shia back..Man gotta talk too doesn’t matter what kind of situation is going on..
As a recovering alcoholic, a working alcoholic I burned a lot of bridges and my behavior that I experienced during my binges hurt a lot of people. Lost my killer job, got duis back to back to back. It's tough to deal with but when people and family make time to not worry about what you've burned. It's incredibly life altering to see who's still around you. Much love and respect for Shia. Stay up brother 🙏 I feel your pain.
Recovering addict going on a few years. I can never express or repay my gratitude to my family. I put them through absolute hell. My parents having to bear the burden of knowing they're probably going to have to bury their son. Stealing from my sisters. Only coming around when I needed money for drugs. I don't deserve my family, I know that, but I'm eternally grateful for them. No matter what I did, there they were. Never gave up and I know they wanted to. Every time I said I wanted help, my parents were the first to drive me there knowing I was probably going to check myself out but hoping that this was the time it stuck. I shouldn't have lived past my mid 20s, here I am alive at 31. Now I have an absolutely amazing job I never thought I'd be able to hold. I am actually happy to wake up most mornings now and I owe it all to my family. Congrats on you're sobriety my friend. Hope you live a long and happy life.
@crackerjackrappr I too spent my 20s partying and drinking it up. Now at 33 I can definitely relate to your story. It's humbling on all levels no doubt. The length we go when we're going thru it is probably the hardest thing to have to deal with but in the end. We're still here and I am grateful for you taking the time out of your night to tell me your story and to wish me all the best. I wish you nothing but many blessing and a Long happy healthy life my friend. 🤙👊
I feel this man’s pain, my wife saved my life, God put her in my life to remind me that i deserve to be happy. Solitude is like a cancer, often not visible but it kills you inside. To get emotionally naked like this is sometimes good I commend him, I could never do that, I don’t know how. Wish this man the very best and may God give him the fortitude to keep pushing forward…….remember if all goes south brother I CANT CALL IT will always be the way….
"The ministry of presence." Reminded me of a true story my father told me of a time he was hurting. His Father had just passed away, and he had no one else in the family that was really there for him. He thought it best to press on through his emotions and continue working (he was a welder back then). During lunch, he sat down, alone. He was in pain. Not crying or anything, but you can just tell when someone is going through it. This lady he worked with sat down next to him because she knew what had happened, and just stayed there. My dad bawled his eyes out, and they didn't speak a word to each other. When the break was over, he just said "Thank you" and they both went on their way. Sometimes, we don't need someone to give us a solution, a statistic, a study or something that has "worked for everyone". We just need them. People. I'll never take the people in my life for granted.
Sober almost 10 months before my birthday, therapy and parenting classes. This interview touched my heart, I still don’t have a lot friends around and get lonely. I focus on my Son and hope someday there is someone there to be around for me
I have a lot of respect for Shia. Man has been thru real hardship and endured a lot of trauma and doing his best. Its even harder when no-one cares or shows up for you.
When you bottle things up and you live in a way that prevents you from facing your faults and short comings. You lose all sense of reality, that’s a very dangerous thing. I truly hope Shia is staying strong and keeping true to himself.
I am late to the BERNTHAL as podcaster yet will be an avid listener/ watcher/ sharer now. Do you see the way he holds SHIA with his eye contact with no interruptions? That is compassion mastery right there. I have watched these fine actors roles but this was next level. I am going to happily consume THE REAL ONES now!
That was bone crushingly honest. A potentially big lesson for anyone watching. Us men need to connect more with our vulnerabilities. Brings us closer to ourselves and the people around us.
Godbless ya ! You deserve the best !! You are a talented young man !! Enjoy your work !! ! I’m Sure you have more to come! I had to overcome my demons ! Still fighting!! Just like you !! Thanks for sharing !! God bless ya ❤
He's done a lot of ish but my understanding of him, any man, has got to be limited. I'm a woman, most women are inherently equipped with skills and abilities that make you understand other people. Better equipped than a man, generally speaking of course. BUT. I'm not a man, I have no idea how it feels to be a man, everything that goes on inside a man... I can only understand what's communicated, body and verbal language say some things, not everything. That I know from just human experience.
@@zeuna I haven't spoken to everyone to find out. At a guess I'd say at some point most people break off a relationship which causes emotional hurt so yes. I don't entirely know what exactly happened with Shia but I'm assuming you mean physical hurt, in which case I'd say no. But I don't think anyone gets out without making a mistake.
@@zeuna I do think everyone has hurt someone. Have you met someone who has gotten through life without doing so? I’m a woman too. I’ve seen my mother torture my father (and herself) and know women are very much capable of causing hurt. Look around at comments all over youtube and in real life; suddenly everyone is a self-diagnosed victim of a narcissistic abuse. 15 years ago we weren’t living in today’s pro-“no contact” culture, where we trust a person’s self report of “narcs” in their family, often the “narcissist mother” trope is reinforced and perpetuated by the masses of people who empathize and submit to this new cultural logic of identifying as a victim of narcissistic abuse. I’m being somewhat facetious here, but my point stands: how many female commenters are so quick to drag their family background/the dynamics of their family of origin as an easier solution to the problems we all face being human? A solution that is reassuring to our own egos, telling eachother and ourselves that we are not the one at fault, it is our upbringing, our “narc” parent, the expectation of “unpaid emotional labor” - we’ve medicalized the language of family dynamics, of human nature, to such a point that they have begun to lose clinical significance in terms of psychological treatment, and you find yourself suddenly in a world where all your clients are repeating what they believe to be therapy terminology that they picked up from some hack with a youtube channel, telling people what they want to hear, which is that they themselves bear no responsibility in interpersonal relationships besides setting boundaries with another party and if they trespass those bounds (regardless of relationship; all the same whether it is your mother or your husband or your casual friend) your only option is to “go NC” - non-contact - with the spouse or parent or sibling. I know i’ve gotten off the topic, but I feel that the idea that there are people who exist (assumedly tilting female in demographic terms) who can go through their lives never hurting others. From a psychologist’s POV, this seems to me to be rooted in the same poor self-exculpatory logic as the “find the narc” phenomenon that has been growing in recent years, to the point of becoming common parlance for a client _coming in_ to therapy for the first time, with no personal background or study in this field beyond a youtube influencer psych education. If you never hurt another person in this life you are a perpetual victim, because human life is full of suffering and because our species is a fundamentally communal system. So long as we interact with others, a person will inevitably hurt and be hurt in the due course of ones lifetime. The key is taking personal responsibility where it is due, acknowledging that we are all tainted by sin and are in that way by our very nature doomed to imperfection. Doomed to be hurt, and doomed to hurt others. There are no perfect men or women who don’t make mistakes, who can get out of this life without having harmed another in some way (granted they survive beyond the age of reason and live to adulthood, of course). This doesn’t mean there is not a perpetrator and a victim in cases of abuse; it does mean though that we must take responsibility for what we have control over-our own conduct, our own relationships with others. I worry for those who are so taken with contemporary trends of outsourcing all blame to one scapegoated family member as in the case of the many people coming to therapy with issues of their own that - so long as they are encouraged to name and shame problematic family members as pathological in themselves - they do not and cannot have the eyes to see, because they are too blinded by hyperfocus on the misconduct of others. we are all human, we all err; more importantly, we don’t always even recognize it when we do and the results-the hurting another person-is hidden before one’s very own eyes. Think again to the type of person for whom everyone else in their life is an irredeemable narcissist: with such a mentality, the one who is likely to bear the brunt of such conduct is the person’s child or children. Imagine being so preoccupied with the ways in which you were wronged in childhood by your mother that you begin to not see how you are, in doing so, reproducing the same dynamics in front of and for your own child who is immersed in this victimhood narrative of the mother, a child whose emotions seem less important therein, in hearing endless enumeration of perceived wrongs that were perpetrated by mother’s “narc” family before the child was even born, that they now have to bear for their ever-suffering mother. In a few years we will reap the rotten fruits of this family grievance culture, a crude exaggeration of freudian thought that the same types of people would have mocked were it not repackaged for mass consumption and adclick revenue on youtube. It’s a perverse distortion of reality, a scientistic excuse to dispense with what we know of human nature and structural family relations based in an appeal to the ego (hey, you are just a victim! never mind that if you were to go to a psychotherapist, it would not be your mother who would be diagnosed with a personality disorder but you yourself - but that’s the old way of thought! now things are easier; people are good or bad, victims or abusers, either guilty of hurting others or totally innocent, a person who makes mistakes or a victim of those mistakes (therein rendering the victim discursively incompetent to make such mistakes themselves! didnt you hear me? i said im the VICTIM of narcissists, that means i’m not one! if my boyfriend abuses me, i am the victim of abuse and therefore exculpated of having to consider myself as a potential perpetrator!). If you can find me a counter-example of someone (short of Christ lol) living to adulthood without sinning against others and causing someone else significant pain, i’d love to see it :-)
This guy is still my inspiration. He is not into the Hollywood thing. He sticks up for family. He's broke but hes healing himself. God bless her and him. 🙏
When I went to therapy after jail and rehab (it was part of my sentence to go do therapy for the last 9 months of my prison time) there was a meeting and all families were invited. It wasn't clear, if someone from.my family would show up. But when that day came, everyone (parents, sisters, cousin, even my sisters husband) showed up. And the fact alone, that they came and were present that day, meant so much to me.
I’ve been there too, abandoned and without help, support, guidance etc. Only one thing got me through, myself and refusing to give up and cave in. You will find the path to better days I can promise you that just as long as you refuse to go down. Temporary pain for long term gain
I understand what shia is saying I can relate to,sometimes I feel like nobody even likes me but then I realize that there people who actually care and those are the people you trust.
Everyone has the potential for a true redemption experience in life...let Shia go through his journey, share his raw thoughts and let him do the work on himself without negativity from people. We are all one circumstance, one decision away from being Shai....From needing kindness and grace to atone, repent, better our family's lives...whatever your specific situation may be. Be kind and give grace.
I agree with you, he fucked up hard, and he should be held accountible ( SA and his other allegations are very bad and should not be overlooked) but I think u can see by this whole interview that he is a deeply flawed person, but knows he's done horrible stuff yet wants to do the right thing, and I think that's great. I like to believe people can become better (not always good but better human beings).
Damn.. Shiea hurting me right now.. never put my hands on a woman but I know the pain of no one being there through your shit… the ministry of presence.. although you don’t know me, this interview was a ministry of presence.. you’re helping people man.. straight up.
Love is God, and God is Love. This is the same as the Grace God has for us, it is not earned, it is not deserved, God's Grace is the Love given to us freely and undeservedly.
I don’t think Shia is a bad guy. He’s made a lot of bad choices and how he treated Twigs and Mia was really bad, but after seeing this, I truly believe he’s a good man that’s made a lot of bad decisions. I respect Jon for interviewing Shia
my gosh im crying... I lost the love of my life because I wasn't willing to talk about my problems and I left her not because I didn't love her but because I thought it was the right way to protect her because I thought I wasn't good enough, there was a better man waiting for her somewhere, I was sure of that. The last sentence she said was: “One word and I’ll stay with you.” I did not say anything... Now, more than a year later, I also realized that I wasn't interested in anyone else because that was her and there was no one else who was there for me, without me noticing, she was always there. She taught me empathy, unfortunately I only realized that with the last sentence when she was gone. So guys, talk is worth its weight in gold, words are worth more than actions, but combined with actions, words are the way to go in a relationship because a relationship means facing life together and not alone. Shia realized it probl. in the last moment, but he take this moment. love this guy for this.
I REALLY PRAY THAT HES DOING WELL 🙏🏼. I was going to Eurth Cafe in Pasadena and saw him walking. He didn’t look too 3:50 good. I pray his demons leave him alone and be happy with his wife and child
The most famous person in the rehab, a world famous actor and NOBODY shows up for him?? 🥹 This poor broken, lonely man. My heart is breaking and I’m so happy he found God. Bless him
he was an abuser and hurt a lot of people, you shouldn’t blame them and i don’t think shia does either. the reason he was there was to be a better man for the people he loved.
YOUR truth is Beautiful Shia and I've never seen your work so can't comment there. I also have a spouse like your Mia but in reverse I'm the wife with the great husband. 1 day at a time with God to help you is all you have to think about and all you will need. God bless you and yours.
I will always have this memory of when I was dying and feeling confused scared because my sugars were high and I didn’t knew what was going on so they’d end me to the ER my parents weren’t their I was so alone even me dying won’t bring anyone to see me or to be with me and yet they want to check up on me when they want to I swear
"EMPATHY". WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER, BUT WE LAUGH, CLOWN AND DISRESPECT EACH OTHER. PS. F, MONEY, WE NEED IT BUT IT DOES NOT MAKE ANYONE BETTER OR WORSE THAN THE NEXT PERSON. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Yesterday i suddenly started to shout everything thats going on in my life in my girlfriends apartment(the fucking pain and suffering in my mind just exploded) in front of her. I was drunk ye but, the way she showed me thats everything is going to fine was.... She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and said, i love you as the way you are and what ever you are going thru, we are going to defeat it together my hub... At this point, i started crying, loudly. If i dont marry that woman at some point, no1 will!!!! I love her sooooo much!!!!!!!!!!
My man Jon bernthal nearly in tears over his story and what he had to share. Real friend.
That's because John knows the struggle of the real world so he gets what Shia is feeling
You do know he's a professional actor right?
One of the most important things for a man is to be able to speak what’s on are mind and not hold in all are emotions. I’m glad he has someone special that can be there for him when he needs it the most.
*our
Not are
@@Marc-io8qm “um… it’s actually our, not ‘are’🤓👆🏼”
True! But doesn't this apply to women too? Don't get me wrong, I totally agree with you, but for women it's the same, right?
@@Cussy69_420 he never said it didn’t apply to woman. But it’s obvious why he didn’t feel the need to say ‘women’ and that’s because they are already known to speak their emotions already, whereas men usually don’t speak up.
I think he wanted to say their
Shia is the proof that men need to be able to express their thoughts and feelings and not be afraid as being seen as "weak".
Yeah but he’s willingly making a change, men are weak if our mindset is “woe is me”
@@AmirHussain-bi2vx this is true
No one cares. Men are "provide or die" like Chris Rock said, only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are terrified of this world and that's how we end up so estranged and sad. And still. No one gives a fuck.
The problem is, that mentality was created by men for men. Men need to fight to change those standards and teach their sons, brothers, friends, and strangers
Fuck you the guy is a ms 13 he ain’t on that soft shit 😂
“you heard her voice, she’s like a fucking angel, know what i mean?”
it genuinely warms my heart how much he respects mia
Who is Mia?
He made the Punisher cry.....
I can relate with him very much, friends/family/partners can only tolerate so much. When he starts tearing and talking about Mia, that moment when he looks down I know this feeling ans it's heart breaking, being helpless, pushing everyone away specially that one at the top of the list, putting them through he'll, lies and shit and they still show up and find time. This resonates so much it leaves in a feeling that there is and will be hope for me or anyone else struggling. 🙏
Never lose hope friend...because we all fall down..its in the getting back up that we find true salvation and freedom...I will show up for you...
Are you doing better?
Shia’s experience is so powerful. I’m so happy for him, Mia, and their growing family. That’s true love. Tough love.
Real talk. Not sugar coating anything, he’s just being real. Love his attitude and positivity
Realest person in Hollywood.
How anyone can watch this and not be moved to tears is beyond me...this is like seeing the real shia for the first time...becoming a parent and spouse changes you..it makes you love someone more then yourself...and that is an extremely powerful motivator people...I believe him..that he has changed and am so happy for him and Mia and their baby..I wish them every happiness the world can offer
Wait I just foound out they have a child. Are Shia and Mia back together again?
@@akshayamanivannan yes they are married and have a beautiful little girl
It’s called acting bitch
Healing is beautiful and the ability to be honest and find your words is part of that beauty.
Pure unfiltered emotion. Well done for letting it out Shia.
Already seen the whole interview, but this scene still gets to me.😭🙏👍
I know next to nothing about Mia Goth, and I walked away from this interview with the utmost respect for her. The story Shia told about their reconciliation was the most touching thing I have ever heard. May God continue to bless them.
Hard not to get emotional watching this because it’s raw and unfiltered sadness happiness guilt self-worth salvation and a few other things all mixed in one story. The fact that none of his family came and then his wife was there for him when he was most vulnerable and kept him going, that’s something as a man I hope to find one day, someone who won’t just be there for the good times but when I’m at my lowest of lows
The ministry of presence… So well said Shia… I admire you so much as a man and an actor…
I appreciate how vulnerable Shia is. I know where he's coming from.
My all respect for JB specially that how he never interrupt, but all listening and understanding, men needs to express and to listen to. So 👏 Bravo!
Mia Goth seems like such an angel.
Wow this is so raw and powerful
Good talk man 👍👍I respect this guy for putting it out there.
It’s truly heroic to hit rock bottom and choose to believe you are worth saving
Damn man..Jon just letting Shia let it all out..Great interview and great to know we got Shia back..Man gotta talk too doesn’t matter what kind of situation is going on..
i love this dude alot, This is the best interview ever, God Bless this dude to change his life around... You'll never see an interview this authentic
We as men need to come together.
❤❤😭😭😭i can feel that love omg that is beautiful!!
Thank you for this...
As a recovering alcoholic, a working alcoholic I burned a lot of bridges and my behavior that I experienced during my binges hurt a lot of people. Lost my killer job, got duis back to back to back. It's tough to deal with but when people and family make time to not worry about what you've burned. It's incredibly life altering to see who's still around you. Much love and respect for Shia. Stay up brother 🙏 I feel your pain.
Recovering addict going on a few years. I can never express or repay my gratitude to my family. I put them through absolute hell. My parents having to bear the burden of knowing they're probably going to have to bury their son. Stealing from my sisters. Only coming around when I needed money for drugs. I don't deserve my family, I know that, but I'm eternally grateful for them. No matter what I did, there they were. Never gave up and I know they wanted to. Every time I said I wanted help, my parents were the first to drive me there knowing I was probably going to check myself out but hoping that this was the time it stuck. I shouldn't have lived past my mid 20s, here I am alive at 31. Now I have an absolutely amazing job I never thought I'd be able to hold. I am actually happy to wake up most mornings now and I owe it all to my family.
Congrats on you're sobriety my friend. Hope you live a long and happy life.
@crackerjackrappr I too spent my 20s partying and drinking it up. Now at 33 I can definitely relate to your story. It's humbling on all levels no doubt. The length we go when we're going thru it is probably the hardest thing to have to deal with but in the end. We're still here and I am grateful for you taking the time out of your night to tell me your story and to wish me all the best. I wish you nothing but many blessing and a Long happy healthy life my friend. 🤙👊
I feel this man’s pain, my wife saved my life, God put her in my life to remind me that i deserve to be happy. Solitude is like a cancer, often not visible but it kills you inside. To get emotionally naked like this is sometimes good I commend him, I could never do that, I don’t know how. Wish this man the very best and may God give him the fortitude to keep pushing forward…….remember if all goes south brother I CANT CALL IT will always be the way….
Mad love and respect for Shia !!!
"The ministry of presence." Reminded me of a true story my father told me of a time he was hurting. His Father had just passed away, and he had no one else in the family that was really there for him. He thought it best to press on through his emotions and continue working (he was a welder back then). During lunch, he sat down, alone. He was in pain. Not crying or anything, but you can just tell when someone is going through it. This lady he worked with sat down next to him because she knew what had happened, and just stayed there. My dad bawled his eyes out, and they didn't speak a word to each other. When the break was over, he just said "Thank you" and they both went on their way. Sometimes, we don't need someone to give us a solution, a statistic, a study or something that has "worked for everyone". We just need them. People. I'll never take the people in my life for granted.
I really liked this story..
I hope your father feels better now!
🌻🙂
Sober almost 10 months before my birthday, therapy and parenting classes. This interview touched my heart, I still don’t have a lot friends around and get lonely. I focus on my Son and hope someday there is someone there to be around for me
I have a lot of respect for Shia. Man has been thru real hardship and endured a lot of trauma and doing his best. Its even harder when no-one cares or shows up for you.
We all need a friend like Jon Bernthal
Shia is legit my hero. Like I grew up w him with Even Steven and I'm going thru the same stuff now. It's so hard. I just wanna meet you man.
When you bottle things up and you live in a way that prevents you from facing your faults and short comings. You lose all sense of reality, that’s a very dangerous thing. I truly hope Shia is staying strong and keeping true to himself.
I am late to the BERNTHAL as podcaster yet will be an avid listener/ watcher/ sharer now. Do you see the way he holds SHIA with his eye contact with no interruptions? That is compassion mastery right there. I have watched these fine actors roles but this was next level. I am going to happily consume THE REAL ONES now!
泣けた… Shiaの心に触れた気がして、美しさと強さを感じた。
This got me balling my eyes out I can feel other people's pain and heartache
The level to which he is able to articulate that period of time in his life is a direct reflection of just how INTENSE things were for him then💯 Wow🔥
Mia is quite a human being, a magnanimous soul
I highly suggest that everyone watches the full interview!
We hear you, We Feel you, We Understand you. Don’t lose sight of the horizons. No one will ever know if we don’t speak. Respect.
That was bone crushingly honest. A potentially big lesson for anyone watching. Us men need to connect more with our vulnerabilities. Brings us closer to ourselves and the people around us.
Godbless ya ! You deserve the best !! You are a talented young man !! Enjoy your work !! ! I’m
Sure you have more to come! I had to overcome my demons ! Still fighting!! Just like you !! Thanks for sharing !! God bless ya ❤
This guy has made mistakes but it's hard not to love real people.
He's done a lot of ish but my understanding of him, any man, has got to be limited. I'm a woman, most women are inherently equipped with skills and abilities that make you understand other people. Better equipped than a man, generally speaking of course. BUT. I'm not a man, I have no idea how it feels to be a man, everything that goes on inside a man... I can only understand what's communicated, body and verbal language say some things, not everything. That I know from just human experience.
No one gets away from life without making mistakes.
@@TaxemicFanatic Do you think everyone has hurt someone/people at some point in their life?
@@zeuna I haven't spoken to everyone to find out. At a guess I'd say at some point most people break off a relationship which causes emotional hurt so yes. I don't entirely know what exactly happened with Shia but I'm assuming you mean physical hurt, in which case I'd say no. But I don't think anyone gets out without making a mistake.
@@zeuna I do think everyone has hurt someone. Have you met someone who has gotten through life without doing so?
I’m a woman too. I’ve seen my mother torture my father (and herself) and know women are very much capable of causing hurt. Look around at comments all over youtube and in real life; suddenly everyone is a self-diagnosed victim of a narcissistic abuse. 15 years ago we weren’t living in today’s pro-“no contact” culture, where we trust a person’s self report of “narcs” in their family, often the “narcissist mother” trope is reinforced and perpetuated by the masses of people who empathize and submit to this new cultural logic of identifying as a victim of narcissistic abuse. I’m being somewhat facetious here, but my point stands: how many female commenters are so quick to drag their family background/the dynamics of their family of origin as an easier solution to the problems we all face being human? A solution that is reassuring to our own egos, telling eachother and ourselves that we are not the one at fault, it is our upbringing, our “narc” parent, the expectation of “unpaid emotional labor” - we’ve medicalized the language of family dynamics, of human nature, to such a point that they have begun to lose clinical significance in terms of psychological treatment, and you find yourself suddenly in a world where all your clients are repeating what they believe to be therapy terminology that they picked up from some hack with a youtube channel, telling people what they want to hear, which is that they themselves bear no responsibility in interpersonal relationships besides setting boundaries with another party and if they trespass those bounds (regardless of relationship; all the same whether it is your mother or your husband or your casual friend) your only option is to “go NC” - non-contact - with the spouse or parent or sibling. I know i’ve gotten off the topic, but I feel that the idea that there are people who exist (assumedly tilting female in demographic terms) who can go through their lives never hurting others. From a psychologist’s POV, this seems to me to be rooted in the same poor self-exculpatory logic as the “find the narc” phenomenon that has been growing in recent years, to the point of becoming common parlance for a client _coming in_ to therapy for the first time, with no personal background or study in this field beyond a youtube influencer psych education. If you never hurt another person in this life you are a perpetual victim, because human life is full of suffering and because our species is a fundamentally communal system. So long as we interact with others, a person will inevitably hurt and be hurt in the due course of ones lifetime. The key is taking personal responsibility where it is due, acknowledging that we are all tainted by sin and are in that way by our very nature doomed to imperfection. Doomed to be hurt, and doomed to hurt others. There are no perfect men or women who don’t make mistakes, who can get out of this life without having harmed another in some way (granted they survive beyond the age of reason and live to adulthood, of course). This doesn’t mean there is not a perpetrator and a victim in cases of abuse; it does mean though that we must take responsibility for what we have control over-our own conduct, our own relationships with others. I worry for those who are so taken with contemporary trends of outsourcing all blame to one scapegoated family member as in the case of the many people coming to therapy with issues of their own that - so long as they are encouraged to name and shame problematic family members as pathological in themselves - they do not and cannot have the eyes to see, because they are too blinded by hyperfocus on the misconduct of others. we are all human, we all err; more importantly, we don’t always even recognize it when we do and the results-the hurting another person-is hidden before one’s very own eyes.
Think again to the type of person for whom everyone else in their life is an irredeemable narcissist: with such a mentality, the one who is likely to bear the brunt of such conduct is the person’s child or children. Imagine being so preoccupied with the ways in which you were wronged in childhood by your mother that you begin to not see how you are, in doing so, reproducing the same dynamics in front of and for your own child who is immersed in this victimhood narrative of the mother, a child whose emotions seem less important therein, in hearing endless enumeration of perceived wrongs that were perpetrated by mother’s “narc” family before the child was even born, that they now have to bear for their ever-suffering mother. In a few years we will reap the rotten fruits of this family grievance culture, a crude exaggeration of freudian thought that the same types of people would have mocked were it not repackaged for mass consumption and adclick revenue on youtube. It’s a perverse distortion of reality, a scientistic excuse to dispense with what we know of human nature and structural family relations based in an appeal to the ego (hey, you are just a victim! never mind that if you were to go to a psychotherapist, it would not be your mother who would be diagnosed with a personality disorder but you yourself - but that’s the old way of thought! now things are easier; people are good or bad, victims or abusers, either guilty of hurting others or totally innocent, a person who makes mistakes or a victim of those mistakes (therein rendering the victim discursively incompetent to make such mistakes themselves! didnt you hear me? i said im the VICTIM of narcissists, that means i’m not one! if my boyfriend abuses me, i am the victim of abuse and therefore exculpated of having to consider myself as a potential perpetrator!).
If you can find me a counter-example of someone (short of Christ lol) living to adulthood without sinning against others and causing someone else significant pain, i’d love to see it :-)
No lie I cried hearing this man
Feel it Shia 😥 We heal when we speak honestly brother......thanks for this Jon Bernthal 🙏
This guy is still my inspiration. He is not into the Hollywood thing. He sticks up for family. He's broke but hes healing himself. God bless her and him. 🙏
When I went to therapy after jail and rehab (it was part of my sentence to go do therapy for the last 9 months of my prison time) there was a meeting and all families were invited.
It wasn't clear, if someone from.my family would show up. But when that day came, everyone (parents, sisters, cousin, even my sisters husband) showed up. And the fact alone, that they came and were present that day, meant so much to me.
I have seen Shia Lebeouf's journey for a long time since I first saw him in Transformers 2007.
I'm at one of my life's toughest and saddest moments, and no one is there for me. This gave me hope.
I’ve been there too, abandoned and without help, support, guidance etc. Only one thing got me through, myself and refusing to give up and cave in. You will find the path to better days I can promise you that just as long as you refuse to go down. Temporary pain for long term gain
I understand what shia is saying I can relate to,sometimes I feel like nobody even likes me but then I realize that there people who actually care and those are the people you trust.
when you see a tough man cry, you must shut up look at him and just listen
....no comments no ur opinion, he will ask when his time is there for it
Shia, thank you. I’m there, I need this
Something about Shia and how he speaks hits differently
Everyone has the potential for a true redemption experience in life...let Shia go through his journey, share his raw thoughts and let him do the work on himself without negativity from people. We are all one circumstance, one decision away from being Shai....From needing kindness and grace to atone, repent, better our family's lives...whatever your specific situation may be. Be kind and give grace.
I agree with you, he fucked up hard, and he should be held accountible ( SA and his other allegations are very bad and should not be overlooked) but I think u can see by this whole interview that he is a deeply flawed person, but knows he's done horrible stuff yet wants to do the right thing, and I think that's great. I like to believe people can become better (not always good but better human beings).
I can relate to this man currently. A lot.
Damn.. Shiea hurting me right now.. never put my hands on a woman but I know the pain of no one being there through your shit… the ministry of presence.. although you don’t know me, this interview was a ministry of presence.. you’re helping people man.. straight up.
Another great "chat" , Mr. B
This is enough to make a grown man cry.
Just betas
Shia has no one to blame but himself for his screwed up life. That is the first step on the road to recovery.
Love is God, and God is Love. This is the same as the Grace God has for us, it is not earned, it is not deserved, God's Grace is the Love given to us freely and undeservedly.
We love you Shia 👏🏾🙏🏾🤎
Best to you brother.
🥲 Shia, has done some growing up. Well done. We all deserve forgiveness when we hold ourselves accountable.
Loved them both in Fury.
Damn. Wasn't expecting to cry over a 3 min video .
Damn this got me crying literally
Jon, thank you for talking to Sheila like this.
This, This hit hard.
When he paused for a sec you can tell he’s hurt bad
daymn man the Lady of yours is a Queen 🥲 and bro u the King 🥲🥲
I don’t think Shia is a bad guy. He’s made a lot of bad choices and how he treated Twigs and Mia was really bad, but after seeing this, I truly believe he’s a good man that’s made a lot of bad decisions. I respect Jon for interviewing Shia
When you’re in that sort of place you remember who was there for you and who was not. I know what he means
Finally found a version of this part with no horrid background music that is louder than their voices
This had my eyes wet this def a real one
3:30 I like this “the ministry of presence”
You I gotchu ! I was just busy! 💯💪🏻
When you go out in public today, and ask a man, “how are you?” And he says, “I’m alright.” Trust me, that man is not “alright”
This shit right here put a lump in my throat. He’s one of the few real people in Hollywood
Even Jon got emotional
my gosh im crying...
I lost the love of my life because I wasn't willing to talk about my problems and I left her not because I didn't love her but because I thought it was the right way to protect her because I thought I wasn't good enough, there was a better man waiting for her somewhere, I was sure of that.
The last sentence she said was: “One word and I’ll stay with you.”
I did not say anything...
Now, more than a year later, I also realized that I wasn't interested in anyone else because that was her and there was no one else who was there for me,
without me noticing, she was always there.
She taught me empathy, unfortunately I only realized that with the last sentence when she was gone.
So guys, talk is worth its weight in gold, words are worth more than actions, but combined with actions, words are the way to go in a relationship because a relationship means facing life together and not alone.
Shia realized it probl. in the last moment, but he take this moment. love this guy for this.
I REALLY PRAY THAT HES DOING WELL 🙏🏼. I was going to Eurth Cafe in Pasadena and saw him walking. He didn’t look too 3:50 good. I pray his demons leave him alone and be happy with his wife and child
The most famous person in the rehab, a world famous actor and NOBODY shows up for him?? 🥹
This poor broken, lonely man. My heart is breaking and I’m so happy he found God.
Bless him
he was an abuser and hurt a lot of people, you shouldn’t blame them and i don’t think shia does either. the reason he was there was to be a better man for the people he loved.
Shia needs this. He is a good man. He is rich and famous but he is me
YOUR truth is Beautiful Shia and I've never seen your work so can't comment there. I also have a spouse like your Mia but in reverse I'm the wife with the great husband. 1 day at a time with God to help you is all you have to think about and all you will need. God bless you and yours.
I will always have this memory of when I was dying and feeling confused scared because my sugars were high and I didn’t knew what was going on so they’d end me to the ER my parents weren’t their I was so alone even me dying won’t bring anyone to see me or to be with me and yet they want to check up on me when they want to I swear
The SAN PEDRO CACTUS we can see behind is a powerful psychedelic for shamanic deep inner work.
ANYONE GONNA GIVE CREDIT TO MY BOY FOR REALLY LISTENING TO SHIA ?
Gotta love Shia lol
We all need God! God is with us in the best and worst of times!
God bless Shia and I pray God to look over him!
God sended that women
Im so glad shia is at a better place
Dude he’s aware of his shit. He’s gonna be just fine. He’ll do good
real.
"EMPATHY". WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER, BUT WE LAUGH, CLOWN AND DISRESPECT EACH OTHER. PS. F, MONEY, WE NEED IT BUT IT DOES NOT MAKE ANYONE BETTER OR WORSE THAN THE NEXT PERSON. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
He will not divide us!! 😂
1:50 got it for me 😢
Is he talking about Twigs or Mia?
Yesterday i suddenly started to shout everything thats going on in my life in my girlfriends apartment(the fucking pain and suffering in my mind just exploded) in front of her.
I was drunk ye but, the way she showed me thats everything is going to fine was.... She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and said, i love you as the way you are and what ever you are going thru, we are going to defeat it together my hub... At this point, i started crying, loudly.
If i dont marry that woman at some point, no1 will!!!! I love her sooooo much!!!!!!!!!!