Sober Bert | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 201

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  • Опубліковано 28 лип 2024
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    Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss their favorite radio shows and podcasts, Scientology, how Peru lost Machu Picchu, what it takes to be an ambassador, and much more! Plus, Bert went to Jazzfest, and saw some of his favorite artists perform, and found some new favorites. Also, Bert is deciding to get sober to help ease his crazy schedule!
    tomsegura.com/tour
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    UA-cam Chapters
    00:00:00 - Intro
    00:10:08 - Conquering and Other Languages
    00:11:30 - Editing Things Out of Podcasts
    00:14:52 - Ila Loves Big Jay
    00:18:37 - Peru Lost Machu Picchu
    00:26:25 - Ambassador Bert
    00:29:39 - Joe Rogan, Howard Stern, Opie and Anthony
    00:37:54 - Bert Wants a Grandkid
    00:41:11 - Scientology
    00:43:00 - Jazzfest
    00:52:36 - Bert's Chair Accident
    00:57:09 - Cory Henry
    01:01:26 - Domi and Beck
    01:05:27 - Mos Def
    01:09:08 - Legendary DJs
    01:11:53 - Bert Going Sober
    01:21:18 - Crazy Schedules
    01:28:59 - Bert Wants to Run the NY Marathon
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,7 тис.

  • @sirsmokeefortwence25
    @sirsmokeefortwence25 10 місяців тому +5735

    I hate the highlights at the start. Like if I'm clicking an hour podcast, I'm already going to watch. I don't need all the best jokes ruined.

    • @johnkallday
      @johnkallday 10 місяців тому +417

      Yeah between that and the mattress shilling ads it makes me want to turn it off before it even begins.

    • @davidjosh5640
      @davidjosh5640 10 місяців тому +178

      Amen. Cheapening effect too.

    • @clevelandsteamer6016
      @clevelandsteamer6016 10 місяців тому +102

      Usually there's a timestamp to skip, but Native forgot and made the first timestamp at 10 mins instead of like 3 min.

    • @Rosskles
      @Rosskles 10 місяців тому +323

      ​@@johnkalldayThis free content really annoying you yeah?

    • @ttoms96
      @ttoms96 10 місяців тому +110

      Im glad youre still enjoying them this much im feeling like im scraping the bottom of the youtube barrel when i get to episodes of this podcast that include bert lol

  • @tommarino69
    @tommarino69 10 місяців тому +474

    Bert is the only man on earth who can interrupt his own interruption of something he interrupted.

    • @jasonwinterton9369
      @jasonwinterton9369 10 місяців тому +4

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @bromethiustrilbotbromeldeh6625
      @bromethiustrilbotbromeldeh6625 10 місяців тому

      Fuxc

    • @BigfootDK9
      @BigfootDK9 10 місяців тому +4

      This is the greatest comment I've seen this year! 😂😂😂

    • @sarahlowell3763
      @sarahlowell3763 10 місяців тому +1

      I just past to this part while reading this comment and I'm dying laughing. 🤣😂

    • @keyd_tv
      @keyd_tv 10 місяців тому

      ​@BigfootDK9 oh how easily it is to amuse the feeble minded

  • @TendoTheDude
    @TendoTheDude 10 місяців тому +255

    Bert: just so you know I'm not the sad alcoholic Joe was talking about
    Also Bert: freaks out when there's not enough liquor 30 seconds later

    • @Poo69691
      @Poo69691 10 місяців тому +8

      Was looking for this one, ikr

    • @mrsantos0712
      @mrsantos0712 10 місяців тому +1

      Facts

    • @schicoj0179
      @schicoj0179 10 місяців тому +1

      Does anyone know who Joe was talking about if not Bert?

    • @Poo69691
      @Poo69691 10 місяців тому +2

      @@schicoj0179 maybe ur mom

    • @mikefox1257
      @mikefox1257 10 місяців тому +3

      I made a comment too. Lol gets mad at Christianity because he wasn't brought booze that exact second such a spoiled drunkard fr

  • @wyatthausman4377
    @wyatthausman4377 10 місяців тому +141

    Took me two days to watch in sections, this whole Bert's alcoholism thing is getting super real and he has no idea. Tom here is breaking down his whole life and Bart goes.."noooo..."

    • @DirtyDan2500
      @DirtyDan2500 10 місяців тому +9

      Past few weeks for me tbh😢

    • @noname-ue7lb
      @noname-ue7lb 10 місяців тому +4

      His terrible laugh is far more detrimental to his life than the drinking. Alcohol you can stop. I think that disgusting laugh is uncontrollable. Alcohol might kill him, but the terrible horrrrrrible laugh is going to make his and everyone around hims life miserable and gross.

  • @yoBigWave
    @yoBigWave 10 місяців тому +2611

    I think Berts mic should be powered by a bicycle. it would solve his fat problems, and he would need to charge his mic up before every rant so Tom would finally get some time to talk.

    • @whoisharo4689
      @whoisharo4689 10 місяців тому +63

      Genius. They can hire Mark Roban to build that. Seriously.

    • @MrDank132
      @MrDank132 10 місяців тому +58

      Please run for president. You’re the problem solver we need!

    • @bnnyrabbit
      @bnnyrabbit 10 місяців тому +21

      But that would mean Tom actually has to talk and be funny. That’s a lot to ask of him

    • @BJack1983
      @BJack1983 10 місяців тому +8

      It would be easy. Dynamos have been around for a while

    • @marcogifuni999
      @marcogifuni999 10 місяців тому +7

      How the f we didn't think about this before! @ymhstudios please do this!

  • @Jassbusters
    @Jassbusters 10 місяців тому +297

    Bert will go to any length to convince us he’s sober except for not drinking.

  • @Derek-el5iv
    @Derek-el5iv 10 місяців тому +111

    Bert: *Imagines exactly how Nadav's life is and how easy it must be.*
    Bert: *very next sentence* "I don't get how people can look at my life from the outside and judge me."

    • @joshpierce4533
      @joshpierce4533 10 місяців тому +1

      😂❤.. most know someone like that😂 what was he getting @ when he brought up the viewers towards the end? Could you translate burtanese for me 🙏

  • @MyBlitz7
    @MyBlitz7 10 місяців тому +96

    Bert says “I don’t know I’m interrupting” and then goes into detail about how he knows he interrupts and does nothing to prevent it. He needs a shock collar so Tom can zap him every time he interrupts.

    • @Hungryhipoe
      @Hungryhipoe 10 місяців тому +2

      That would be a great idea for the podcast 🤣

    • @joshpierce4533
      @joshpierce4533 10 місяців тому +1

      😂😂 ide watch that over and over!! I think the battery would go dead b4 the pod ended😂

  • @wyatthausman4377
    @wyatthausman4377 10 місяців тому +302

    lol Bert's little brushes with self awareness are hilarious, the guy is like a puppy discovering its tail anytime he has a thought.

    • @infinite9100
      @infinite9100 10 місяців тому +14

      Hilarious? He’s a 50 year old man with less than 0 self awareness. That’s sad. The word you’re looking for, is sad.

    • @thisisme55555
      @thisisme55555 10 місяців тому

      Ahahahaha

    • @wyatthausman4377
      @wyatthausman4377 10 місяців тому +5

      @@infinite9100 well, sure. But I'm here for the lols not the sads

    • @wyatthausman4377
      @wyatthausman4377 10 місяців тому

      ​​@@Anoneemus_Noenayme couldn't agree more. But since he embraces being a lol cow. I will lol at him. Talk crap about him. Not something I would do with a regular addict. he is old enough to be my dad and I have zero sympathy for the egocentric garbage that falls out of his mouth.

    • @AW-vw4yn
      @AW-vw4yn 10 місяців тому

      It’s the only time he is funny

  • @JoshuaRivera-od9dc
    @JoshuaRivera-od9dc 10 місяців тому +314

    "you interrupted yourself" I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

    • @FloresG40
      @FloresG40 10 місяців тому +5

      😂😂💯

    • @antinsanwo
      @antinsanwo 10 місяців тому +3

      Time stamp?

    • @lampseven4894
      @lampseven4894 10 місяців тому +8

      A new level of narcissism for Bort

    • @jeremypenberg
      @jeremypenberg 10 місяців тому +4

      @@antinsanwoit’s in the middle lol

    • @reich4858
      @reich4858 10 місяців тому +9

      @@antinsanwo32:40

  • @kgonche
    @kgonche 10 місяців тому +41

    Bert has a peculiar talent where the more successful he gets the harder it gets to listen to him

    • @DailyShit.
      @DailyShit. 10 місяців тому +8

      It‘s called narcissism.

  • @identified_Vibe
    @identified_Vibe 10 місяців тому +33

    Bert getting that agitated that fast over not enough booze really is telling 😂😂

    • @kellyhazlett6638
      @kellyhazlett6638 9 місяців тому

      As an alcoholic... He's not wrong... Are we drinking or not? Miss me with that casual drink.
      Right or wrong, it's how it is

    • @chrisgravelle1492
      @chrisgravelle1492 9 місяців тому +1

      ​@@kellyhazlett6638Fr don't offer me a shot unless it's followed by 6 more, that's casual lol

  • @Stouffing
    @Stouffing 10 місяців тому +451

    Having not started watching yet, but based on the title, I assume Bert went one day without drinking except for the few drinks he had.

    • @supremebuffalo6322
      @supremebuffalo6322 10 місяців тому +23

      He only had like 5, bro. Thats pretty much sober 😂

    • @ericdelgadillo5327
      @ericdelgadillo5327 10 місяців тому +8

      literally says was recorded prior to bert being sober breh

    • @traseanderson1594
      @traseanderson1594 10 місяців тому +4

      Drank in this episode bud

    • @JuYuMa
      @JuYuMa 10 місяців тому +13

      He's pretty much sober. He only had a couple of pills the night before and then in the morning, some edible and some mushrooms. But no drinks, because he's sober now.

    • @ericdelgadillo5327
      @ericdelgadillo5327 10 місяців тому +3

      @@traseanderson1594 recorded PRIOR to bert decided to go sober

  • @kirbym3980
    @kirbym3980 10 місяців тому +121

    Watching Bert interrupt himself was priceless. 😂😂

  • @andys242424
    @andys242424 10 місяців тому +26

    This is Bert pleading for help without out saying it. I hope he can get some additional medical support to prevent the inevitable.

    • @18Callahan
      @18Callahan 10 місяців тому +9

      I think it’s Tom’s way of trying to help. Bert is definitely trying to do damage control because his raging alcoholic reputation isn’t a secret anymore.

    • @NoSe-ci5oc
      @NoSe-ci5oc 10 місяців тому

      @@18Callahansecret? Thought that was his whole career is based off of

  • @MrFlamesP
    @MrFlamesP 10 місяців тому +39

    It has to be pretty tough being Bert's friend. 🤣

  • @maxwellstylez
    @maxwellstylez 10 місяців тому +47

    "When you say yes to everything you're saying no to some things you really love" is a very great quote, I'll remember that

  • @Quietanarchy1
    @Quietanarchy1 10 місяців тому +105

    Scientology would never trust Bert to keep a secret

    • @andirush69
      @andirush69 10 місяців тому +5

      😂😂😂😂

    • @18Callahan
      @18Callahan 10 місяців тому +4

      His dad was a Scientology lawyer. Good grief.

    • @guyterrifico8293
      @guyterrifico8293 10 місяців тому +2

      he doesnt have to keep secrets , he just makes them up

    • @pickypoint640
      @pickypoint640 10 місяців тому +2

      Scientology won’t accept it because he’s taken psychotropic drugs. That is a hard out in the Scientology community.

    • @clevermissfox
      @clevermissfox 10 місяців тому +1

      ​@@pickypoint640how is that possible when they have so many members ? So many of those celebrities that joined have been or are currently on antidepressants or mood stabilizers

  • @heatherdias1454
    @heatherdias1454 10 місяців тому +26

    Bert also does this... he has a story he wants to tell, so he'll ask someone what they think about this or do you have any ____ stories, then he'll cut them off to tell his story he wanted to tell to begin with 😂😂😂

    • @sonnyboy1618
      @sonnyboy1618 10 місяців тому +2

      That's exactly it.
      He sets up his stories, pauses, and the delivers what he thinks is the punch line.
      Tom is really the only guy who understands this on an insane level

  • @gilliesmcintosh1051
    @gilliesmcintosh1051 10 місяців тому +58

    Hope Bert gets the help he needs but his ego and denial of his circumstances will be hard to overcome

    • @JolleBoiii
      @JolleBoiii 10 місяців тому +2

      Some would even say impossible

  • @thestraydog
    @thestraydog 10 місяців тому +357

    The only thing you need to do to get Brent to relapse is ask him if he wants a treat in a high pitched voice like he's a dog

    • @maddflavour6744
      @maddflavour6744 10 місяців тому +6

      brent

    • @jazzboifuckicontm5239
      @jazzboifuckicontm5239 10 місяців тому +10

      This is an incredible comment

    • @TheHomieFedSmoker
      @TheHomieFedSmoker 10 місяців тому +2

      Why this isn’t higher up is beyond me. Fucking incredible.

    • @jakeworldwide
      @jakeworldwide 10 місяців тому +3

      its funny because its very fucking true, he just wants to appease someone, anyone

    • @Mikey.M.V.P.1
      @Mikey.M.V.P.1 10 місяців тому +4

      Bit rich coming From one @ thestraydog to another 😂😂😂

  • @dpbugg01
    @dpbugg01 10 місяців тому +166

    The loosest term of “sobriety” ever - “I won’t drinks unless I’m doing a something’s burning I’ll have a cocktail or a 2 bears “ while nailing tequila 😂😂

    • @jeffhall768
      @jeffhall768 10 місяців тому +15

      That's not loose. That's just wrong

    • @chewy4641
      @chewy4641 10 місяців тому +7

      Proceeds to release 100 somethings burning in the next 3 months

    • @KT-cz7rm
      @KT-cz7rm 10 місяців тому +4

      It's like when my brother said he was only going to smoke if he was drinking. Bert'll pump out 4 seasons of something's burning in a week.

    • @lauriecampbell7642
      @lauriecampbell7642 10 місяців тому +1

      This! 😂 and I was hopeful after hearing how happy Tom was when he was talking about Bert being sober on ymh

    • @Revolution1117
      @Revolution1117 10 місяців тому

      He'll get "Bart Sober" and lose some weight again like a bunch of times before, but sooner rather than later he'll be fat & drunk again. Happens EVERY time. I got clean & sober in AA 18yrs ago and they talk about the need to have a "psychic shift" in thinking. Burnt will never have a psychic shift with the way he thinks...trust me.

  • @thetragicschoolbuspodcast
    @thetragicschoolbuspodcast 10 місяців тому +14

    I love how Bert's "Rock Bottom" is not liking a picture of how he looks. Not losing his family. Not getting the shakes from DT's. Just "Woah, I look fat in this"

    • @papa_pt
      @papa_pt 10 місяців тому +6

      "check out my shoulders though"

    • @LizardKing1324
      @LizardKing1324 10 місяців тому +3

      Just wait, if he keeps it up he's gonna have a stroke or organ failure

    • @kab9706
      @kab9706 10 місяців тому +1

      ​@@LizardKing1324he will. He looks like he's dying already

  • @VENOM_kills
    @VENOM_kills 10 місяців тому +7

    “When you say yes to everything, you’re actually saying no to some of the things you give a shit about.” Fuckin wise words from Timmy.

  • @scabbynack
    @scabbynack 10 місяців тому +68

    The look Tom does when Bert says he's jealous of Tom's schedule 🤣

    • @clevermissfox
      @clevermissfox 10 місяців тому +7

      01:20:38 those few frames of Tom's face need to be a gif 😂😂😂

    • @clevermissfox
      @clevermissfox 10 місяців тому +21

      And then Bert slips in a passive aggressive jab that his life/tour is crazier/more jam packed then the 'I'm Coming Everywhere Tour' bc he has to fly to Austin once a month to "do a podcast "...👀

    • @panini79
      @panini79 10 місяців тому +1

      Burt’s world💩💩💩burt burt burt burt

    • @user-dw2xk4rv6g
      @user-dw2xk4rv6g 10 місяців тому +9

      He’s almost a cartoon character of narcissism and delusion

    • @rafabar6652
      @rafabar6652 10 місяців тому +6

      @@clevermissfox to be fair Bert's life is for sure crazier but it's because Bert's crazier, not because some bs circumstances. He is blaming the world for who is

  • @KickassMcfly
    @KickassMcfly 10 місяців тому +185

    Before I even get into watching, I want to just extend a word of gratitude to whomever is in charge of audio levels at YMH ♥

    • @calebmc8915
      @calebmc8915 10 місяців тому +2

      found the Audio tech alt account, no but for real they are just right, mad props!

  • @RogueGrin
    @RogueGrin 10 місяців тому +33

    it feels like I'm watching bert in a therapy session while tom guides him through it as he studies him

  • @yourenotrelatable
    @yourenotrelatable 10 місяців тому +169

    I don’t think Bert has a fear of flying. He has a fear of being sober.

    • @ajrob77
      @ajrob77 10 місяців тому +6

      Exactly

    • @18Callahan
      @18Callahan 10 місяців тому +5

      Yes! Yes! Yes!

    • @ThnkDfrnt
      @ThnkDfrnt 10 місяців тому +11

      Everything is a reason (excuse) to drink. I'm honestly tired of his delusions.

    • @Fanuc_Operator1990
      @Fanuc_Operator1990 10 місяців тому +2

      So

    • @kab9706
      @kab9706 10 місяців тому

      ​@FandGee for real.

  • @David.5.6.7.8
    @David.5.6.7.8 10 місяців тому +21

    The look on the alcoholics face when he thinks there is no enough booze. He was this close to crying.

  • @Goblecory
    @Goblecory 10 місяців тому +23

    “Sober Bert” and they’re drinking right at the beginning 😂

    • @drivehard2395
      @drivehard2395 10 місяців тому +6

      He almost Hulk's out when there isn't enough booze on the table.

    • @charlespatterson9138
      @charlespatterson9138 10 місяців тому +4

      lol yea i know. yall dislike bert but i love the guy i find him.entertaining and a.great person innthe industry i never think bad about his drinking n stuff.we all do.our things but.i.wont lie that lil fit there was umm not my.favorite moment from him lol

    • @RedHotMother
      @RedHotMother 10 місяців тому +1

      soBERt should’ve been the title.
      Can’t believe they left that one on the shelf. Amateurs.

    • @drivehard2395
      @drivehard2395 10 місяців тому +1

      @@charlespatterson9138 Who dislikes Bert? lol.

  • @chicocasillas8633
    @chicocasillas8633 10 місяців тому +6

    Bert legit no joke needs help. Love the bears hope he gets the help he needs.

  • @ttccbbkk
    @ttccbbkk 10 місяців тому +21

    I keep rewinding bert seeing death at 52:37 😂😂😂 laughing to damn hard!

    • @robgiering
      @robgiering 10 місяців тому +3

      hahaha same now watch it in slow mo

    • @dinkising
      @dinkising 10 місяців тому

      @@robgieringgenius .. I’m literally crying.

    • @robgiering
      @robgiering 10 місяців тому +1

      @@dinkising lmao the way he snaps his head and looks at tom at the end kills me

    • @taylorburleson5080
      @taylorburleson5080 8 місяців тому

      I laughed so hard that I damn near peed myself. 😂😂😂Life flashed before his eyes.

  • @FoxIslandRailroadCo
    @FoxIslandRailroadCo 10 місяців тому +27

    Tim channeled that Conquistador reallllly effortlessly 😂

  • @reDmitry
    @reDmitry 10 місяців тому +57

    Sober Bert Episode where Bert is in fact not sober and is drinking through the entire episode. Makes sense

    • @lisawilliams6268
      @lisawilliams6268 10 місяців тому +5

      They posted in the beginning that this was recorded before he decided to be sober.

    • @reDmitry
      @reDmitry 10 місяців тому

      so title is a lie@@lisawilliams6268

  • @WisdomProfessor
    @WisdomProfessor 10 місяців тому +8

    Bert’s cardiologist calling him coupled with his quick dismissal definitely makes me think he was expecting some not so good news

    • @NewkLambesis
      @NewkLambesis 10 місяців тому +1

      He probably needs a quadruple bypass

    • @nea8098
      @nea8098 10 місяців тому +1

      the fact that u can hear the desperation in toms voice when he told him to pls take the call makes it so much worse

  • @richardh8944
    @richardh8944 10 місяців тому +48

    26 minutes in, Tom finally tells Bert " I think you should stay in the states " 😂😂😂

  • @Twenty-Seven
    @Twenty-Seven 10 місяців тому +111

    I love how every time Bert is on Two Bears, Tom's body language turns into a little kid listening to a teacher during story time.

    • @BallerTWashington
      @BallerTWashington 10 місяців тому +1

      I just thought something similar.
      Or like he’s cold how Rogan seemed on 2 Bears. It’s also like he has a second shirt down off his shoulders all the way down near his elbows, the way Annie Lederman likes to do with her outer shirts. Picture it being there on Tom, it’s amusing.

  • @chasesavvy918
    @chasesavvy918 10 місяців тому +5

    Bert rationalizing his alcoholism with “well I’m so busy!!” is a classic alcoholic trope

  • @bishoponeye4223
    @bishoponeye4223 10 місяців тому +2

    "Let me kill this so I can get rid of these tears" is the most Burt thing to say. ❤ 😂

  • @lovesthetunes
    @lovesthetunes 10 місяців тому +19

    Burnt saying "I'm not unhealthy" is WILD.

  • @ABN_TNKR
    @ABN_TNKR 10 місяців тому +21

    Brent interrupting himself while telling his own story is a new level 😂

  • @isla5041
    @isla5041 10 місяців тому +11

    Brent complaining about LeeAnne listening to someone tell a story and not trying to one-up them is one of the most Chrysler things ever.

  • @zachgeigan4403
    @zachgeigan4403 10 місяців тому +5

    Can anyone else join me in an applause for Tom’s record behind him. Keep an eye, dudes got allllll the fire sounds

  • @Floor_Rips
    @Floor_Rips 10 місяців тому +181

    Toms plea for Bert to pick up the phone from the cardiologist genuinely sounded desperate.

    • @anthonyzullo
      @anthonyzullo 10 місяців тому +39

      I've had a best friend for 19 years now and as we've aged we've made sure we have each other's backs. I used to be the Bert and he used to be the tom and now we've switched and I'm constantly worrying about him. After he had his baby he got depressed and randomly moved across the states without telling his woman, I called him and found out where he was, jumped on the next available flight and flew out to Arizona to bring him back. Told him he's either coming back and not continuing the cycle of shit dads, or I'm gonna bury him in the desert. He came back.

    • @ScorpionP2C
      @ScorpionP2C 10 місяців тому +18

      @@anthonyzullo Thats good, digging a hole in the hot desert is a lot harder and hotter than people think it is...

    • @rellenoz
      @rellenoz 10 місяців тому +10

      Tell me about it. I've had back problems ever since.

    • @rogerwilco1777
      @rogerwilco1777 10 місяців тому +14

      Yeah Mark Normand kinda dropped the ball about how many pills Bert was on for blood pressure, cholesterol etc..
      And shortly aft Toms plea to pick up the phone, Bert admitted he's on medicine for that stuff, but wasn't 'really sure' that stuff was a problem..
      I mean doctors don't put you on blood pressure and other meds unless you have those problems, so it just one more level of Bert's denial.
      ..and then he whines for 20 mins about how his life is so rough yada yada, basically making non stop excuses for his behavior..
      I hope one day he decides to listen to his friends and get some help. Xanax and heavy drinking are some of the hardest addictions to kick but he's got Dr.Drew and can afford the best treatment on the planet.. its just up to him to drop the ball, but his ego wont let him admit he's got a problem.

    • @treyarmstrong5803
      @treyarmstrong5803 10 місяців тому +7

      Didn’t last episode he said he was sober

  • @KogleyBroDude
    @KogleyBroDude 10 місяців тому +57

    Anyone else love it when berts going “all bert” and tom “jims” the camera

    • @xprettylightsx
      @xprettylightsx 10 місяців тому

      What does Jim’s the camera mean?

    • @KogleyBroDude
      @KogleyBroDude 10 місяців тому

      @@xprettylightsx theres a small tv show called the office where one of the main people is called jim he looks at the camera when shit is unreal

    • @nottomclancy2439
      @nottomclancy2439 10 місяців тому +7

      @@xprettylightsx Looking into the camera knowingly, like Jim from the Office.

    • @xprettylightsx
      @xprettylightsx 10 місяців тому +1

      @@nottomclancy2439 thank you for the reply

    • @dylanqualls8727
      @dylanqualls8727 10 місяців тому

      My favorite lol

  • @ericwaln2056
    @ericwaln2056 10 місяців тому +9

    Can you imagine if we all had a friend as loyal as Segura

    • @sonnyboy1618
      @sonnyboy1618 10 місяців тому +1

      Segura has the loyalty of a dog, but plays the part of the owner for Bert.

    • @keyd_tv
      @keyd_tv 10 місяців тому

      Sounds like you need better friends chief

    • @ericwaln2056
      @ericwaln2056 10 місяців тому +1

      @@keyd_tv if I treated my friends like Bert does, my boys would keep me arms length. Dude won’t let anyone join in the conversation, all he wants is a audience.

    • @keyd_tv
      @keyd_tv 10 місяців тому

      like i said get yourself better homies. there is a reason Bert is friends with some of the funniest people on the planet@@ericwaln2056

  • @harrisb1994
    @harrisb1994 10 місяців тому +2

    Bro when Bertrand thought he was falling out of the chair 🤣🤣🤣 I'm sweating I'm laughing so hard dear God!!!

  • @lanerommel9056
    @lanerommel9056 10 місяців тому +40

    Nadavs face after the German 😂😂😂

    • @anthonyzullo
      @anthonyzullo 10 місяців тому +2

      Mans was getting them ancestral ptsd flashbacks!

  • @djbullock4
    @djbullock4 10 місяців тому +9

    Berts temper tantrum at the unacceptable level of tiquila is hilarious, drinking Azul in a glass of ice like a heathen!

  • @kimberlykulis595
    @kimberlykulis595 10 місяців тому +3

    Bert- There’s always going to be “someone to catch up with”. You can’t forget to chill a minute and enjoy the journey.

    • @DailyShit.
      @DailyShit. 10 місяців тому

      Health does also catch up. He is not 30 anymore. Time to be „content“ with his situation.
      Even doing half the shit he does, he is still a multi millionaire

  • @axr42
    @axr42 10 місяців тому +3

    These guys are brothers; Tom's eyes when he says please to Bert for him to pickup the Cardiologist call❤

  • @BrianHughes777
    @BrianHughes777 10 місяців тому +28

    I'm an alcoholic with 20 years of sobriety. One of the huge fears I had regarding staying sober was losing my personality and never being or having fun again. I'm praying for you Bert. I would hate to see you become another tragic statistic.

    • @WickedSpade
      @WickedSpade 10 місяців тому +4

      Real shit. I smoked weed for years, I hate the people who say it isn't addicting. Maybe not physically but definitely mentally and I was afraid that if I quit I wouldn't enjoy things anymore since I was convinced I had to be high to enjoy everything (despite it giving me more and more anxiety everytime I smoked). I'm 3 years off weed now and couldn't be happier.

    • @Libbygrl22
      @Libbygrl22 10 місяців тому +6

      I’m 2 1/2 years sober I pray for Bert too. It is hard watching him in full blown alcoholism. I hope he gets better and the disease doesn’t kill him. Congratulations on 20 years, I cannot wait to get there. I did it for myself and my kids.

    • @YCWideawakeFinest252
      @YCWideawakeFinest252 10 місяців тому +1

      I was 16 years sober, until i had my first drink😃

    • @BrianHughes777
      @BrianHughes777 10 місяців тому +1

      @MsElisabeth22 thank you! Congratulations on your 2.5 years! It's so much harder for celebrities to get clean and sober because of the money and being surrounded by yesmen since they rely on the celebrity. I pray Bert hits a bottom before it hits him 🙏🏻

    • @phillipoliverholtz9226
      @phillipoliverholtz9226 10 місяців тому +1

      If bert was an alcoholic it wouldn't take this long to ruin him. No offence but some people just built different, hes never gonna be a statistic

  • @Gunline_Chief
    @Gunline_Chief 10 місяців тому +83

    Bert is what we call a “one upper”…tells a story like yours but makes it better

    • @CIRCLEOFTONE
      @CIRCLEOFTONE 10 місяців тому +8

      His stories are better though. He's wrestled bears, fallen off waterfalls plus he's chased waterfalls.

    • @charlespatterson9138
      @charlespatterson9138 10 місяців тому +5

      ill just stick to the rivers a d lakes that im used to

    • @giantturd5157
      @giantturd5157 10 місяців тому

      Wow what a mind blowing revelation you had

    • @legitiotjake
      @legitiotjake 10 місяців тому +3

      To be fair tho, I've only ever seen absolute losers poder over a "one upper"
      The rest of us don't compare ourselves to others constantly

    • @williamswiniuch7527
      @williamswiniuch7527 10 місяців тому +1

      I know a guy way worse at that then him lol

  • @lennylemens
    @lennylemens 10 місяців тому +2

    “I’m gonna tell you the 3 best parts of an experience you missed out on that you totally would have loved!” Classic Bart

  • @gian-phillipelomena8711
    @gian-phillipelomena8711 10 місяців тому +2

    Tom loves Bert, he was so caring in the way he spoke to him about the weight loss.

  • @Abstrakt_YT
    @Abstrakt_YT 10 місяців тому +26

    Missed opportunity to name the episode “Sobert”

  • @Daisy_Sparkles
    @Daisy_Sparkles 10 місяців тому +45

    This is so sad. Bert’s denial makes me super duper bummed. 😩 And poor Tom. To have to see his friend spiral despite pleas must be so hard.

    • @RumHam6969
      @RumHam6969 10 місяців тому +1

      yeah its starting to make me feel sad

    • @the4rtistandtheproduc3r
      @the4rtistandtheproduc3r 10 місяців тому

      ​@@RumHam6969sad for a drinker with a name like rumham is an interesting dichotomy. 😂

    • @RumHam6969
      @RumHam6969 10 місяців тому

      Never seen IASIP? The irony is i'm allergic alcohol @@the4rtistandtheproduc3r

  • @thecancellablepodcast
    @thecancellablepodcast 10 місяців тому +14

    Commenting from Dubai/Abu Dhabi, big fan of you guys and the podcasts. You definitely should come! Bill Burr was just here and he sold out the arena, Schulz show got sold out as well! You guys would kill it and definitely have the audience here.

  • @GMJ33
    @GMJ33 10 місяців тому +11

    Bert is so excited to drink he’s literally shaking

    • @user-te5sp
      @user-te5sp 10 місяців тому

      withdrawal shakes

  • @brendansmith4571
    @brendansmith4571 10 місяців тому +51

    Only 5:42 mins in and Bert is already showcasing his intelligence level 😂

    • @drivehard2395
      @drivehard2395 10 місяців тому +2

      Did he just realize "Oh, they've been at this for awhile?" lol.

    • @eddy7236
      @eddy7236 10 місяців тому

      Yeah. The Muslims are some of the OG slave traders 😂

    • @jamesjross
      @jamesjross 10 місяців тому +12

      He went FULL RWORD. He isn't "into history"... He gets drunk and falls asleep to history podcasts - AND TAKES IN NOTHING

    • @noomade
      @noomade 10 місяців тому +1

      It's so bad that I can't help but think that it is an act...

    • @interovic
      @interovic 10 місяців тому +2

      The muslim empire after Muhammad's death was huge. He really is R worded😂 so Arabs check, Muslims check

  • @frylock3720
    @frylock3720 10 місяців тому +125

    Bert sober is just beer and no spirits

    • @Ramboskates85
      @Ramboskates85 10 місяців тому +10

      Alabama sober 😂 kinda like California sober

    • @jonw8697
      @jonw8697 10 місяців тому +1

      which is more carbs lol

    • @crystalmethany6286
      @crystalmethany6286 10 місяців тому +4

      @@Ramboskates85dude I’m from California and idek what that means😂 is it just smoking weed?

    • @evanwright9016
      @evanwright9016 10 місяців тому +4

      ​@@crystalmethany6286Yep, weed and probably expensive wine.

    • @rogerwilco1777
      @rogerwilco1777 10 місяців тому +5

      a handful of xanax will mask the alcohol effects, just like he does every 'sober' october

  • @Nothingbutnet9
    @Nothingbutnet9 10 місяців тому +1

    The best part of this podcast is being able to hear the people in the background laugh. It always makes me laugh even harder

  • @jarrodtruax
    @jarrodtruax 10 місяців тому

    genuinely great episode. The Tom and Bert episodes had been so all over the place cause they hadn't been together a lot so they were rushing through stuff. This is feeling like some OG 2B1C.

  • @ThomasTk30
    @ThomasTk30 10 місяців тому +28

    Welcome back to , "Tom listening to Bert" on the YMH network. Now back to the interruption.

  • @danielmeuler2877
    @danielmeuler2877 10 місяців тому +44

    Welcome Back to "Bert acts like a Child and Tom pretends it doesn't bother him"

  • @TheLaw5310
    @TheLaw5310 10 місяців тому +3

    Bert's face with the chair accident is the best part of this episode !!

    • @DanielZeal
      @DanielZeal 10 місяців тому

      Dude I couldn't stop replaying it 😂

  • @chickhitlist
    @chickhitlist 10 місяців тому +14

    When Tom is talking Bert isn’t listening he’s thinking about what he wants to say next😂😂😂

  • @Recoveringdadpodcast
    @Recoveringdadpodcast 10 місяців тому

    I get excited when Bert gets excited!!! This episode was like giddy Bert and happy Tom. Good one!!!

  • @jamiemacdonald436
    @jamiemacdonald436 10 місяців тому +8

    I can't listen to Bert dance around the issue and make excuses. It's so infuriating. "It's not my drinking, it's my weight. My stomach is fat, my face is fat. I'm in good physical condition, I just did 50 pushups." I wish I could just reach out and slap some sense into him. But I've been down that road, and I realize it will only come when he is actually ready for it. Good luck, I hope your rock bottom doesn't kill you before you're able to make the change in your life that you need.

    • @sapphiresquire2943
      @sapphiresquire2943 10 місяців тому +1

      This.

    • @anthonyzullo
      @anthonyzullo 10 місяців тому +1

      Its kind of sad that you feel this way about a person that doesn't even know you exist. It's pathetic to be quite honest. Worry about your own life.

  • @StonkeyDomp
    @StonkeyDomp 10 місяців тому +24

    Shout out to Tommy for calling Bret out on interrupting himself!

  • @ryanhiggins7245
    @ryanhiggins7245 10 місяців тому +1

    I watched Barts reaction of the chair over and over and in slow motion, I haven't laughed that hard since kool-aid😂😂😂

  • @sceratt5313
    @sceratt5313 10 місяців тому +3

    I almost spit out my coffee when Bert’s chair moved omg lmfao

  • @JustABloke28
    @JustABloke28 10 місяців тому +12

    Lol. The disclaimer about Brett's drinking at the start 😂

  • @Tonaj3
    @Tonaj3 10 місяців тому +17

    Bert should release a special called Tom’s Stories where he can punch up the stories he doesn’t use! 😊

    • @timmayer8041
      @timmayer8041 10 місяців тому

      I think he pitched that once, but it wasn't limited to Tom, he would have random guests, they would tell their story, and he would then retell it, but punched up

  • @EricJh21690
    @EricJh21690 10 місяців тому +2

    52:37 I must have watched this like 4 times in a row 😂 Barts face

  • @eck413
    @eck413 10 місяців тому +1

    52:37 the shear terror and Burts face 😂😅😂😅

  • @supremebeme
    @supremebeme 10 місяців тому +38

    Tom is the Andrew and Bert is the Bobby of this relationship.

    • @robdubent
      @robdubent 10 місяців тому +9

      Except Bobby can manage to get sober and is funny

    • @DavidLopez-by6br
      @DavidLopez-by6br 10 місяців тому

      Bert is funnier

    • @18Callahan
      @18Callahan 10 місяців тому +1

      Bobby Lee is wayyyy funnier.

    • @STSGuitar16
      @STSGuitar16 10 місяців тому

      Thinking about the fact that Bobby fuckin Lee got sober years ago and Bert can’t do it is hilarious

  • @anthonyzullo
    @anthonyzullo 10 місяців тому +5

    "Here's what I hate about Peruvians..."
    "We are sponsored by DAFT KINGS!"
    lmfao! The transition was perfect!

  • @Harperadvertisingllc
    @Harperadvertisingllc 10 місяців тому

    Lmfaoo Bert's face when the chair malfunctioned 😂
    Bert, we worry about you.

  • @T.051
    @T.051 7 місяців тому

    "Ahhhhh fuck!!! 👀👀👀" The look on his face immediately says that he thinks someone set him up 🤣🤣🤣 i thought that i was dying laughing over that and then he hit us with "does that count as interrupting" and i absolutely lost it!!! Full on hyena/wheezing mode laughter!!!

  • @alicewonderland3464
    @alicewonderland3464 10 місяців тому +9

    Awe Bert is so adorable. Sharing stories like the ocean comment is a way to find common ground with people. I do it as well, I am aware of taking over conversations so it helps me let people finish and not interrupt. It’s hard but I get Bert so much, since I do the same.

  • @richardsimone2798
    @richardsimone2798 10 місяців тому +76

    Just saying I'm really rooting for bert staying sober and losing weight. I wanna see him succeed and speak the "self correction" talk into reality.

    • @GenericScreenName808
      @GenericScreenName808 10 місяців тому +5

      I called this after ari came on, finding a way to monetize his journey will be his next chapter, at least through the winter

    • @MrTwiggyyy
      @MrTwiggyyy 10 місяців тому +5

      @@quasmediaI agree, but I’m also certain he was at the point of having withdrawals which can be fatal. It’s recommended to ween off alcohol, but the common drug prescribed to counter the withdrawals is usually benzodiazepines. Benzos are also highly addictive and benzo addicts tend to drink while on them.
      Him stopping cold turkey could kill him, considering his ridiculous alcohol intake

    • @coffee.3.4
      @coffee.3.4 10 місяців тому +2

      @@MrTwiggyyyhowever you try to justify it ,he’s not sober .If he was really worried about having a seizure or something due to alcohol withdrawal,he would detox in the care of doctors in rehab like my mom did .He could afford literally the nicest one in the world .This guy isn’t going to get sober,he obviously doesn’t want to or have the will.

    • @MrTwiggyyy
      @MrTwiggyyy 10 місяців тому +2

      @@coffee.3.4 I’m glad your mom got the help she needed, but all of these are simply assumptions. We could all be wrong and maybe he is in the care of a doctor. Rehab isn’t for everybody, there’s plenty of addicts who have come clean without rehab. Yeah, fundamentally I was wrong but I wasn’t arguing whether or not he was truly sober, I was arguing why he may be drinking 1-2 drinks a day as opposed to his previous 10 drinks a day.
      Regardless, these are all adults and ultimately their choices don’t effect me so I’m not here to offer judgement, I’m here to offer perspective.
      I hope Bert finds the strength to stick around for his friends and family, I wouldn’t go as far as to wish non-sobriety on him.

    • @crystalmethany6286
      @crystalmethany6286 10 місяців тому

      @@coffee.3.4 glad to hear that your mom did it dude! Addiction is a byatch You’re absolutely right. It’s scary because his rock bottom will be his health since he’s a multi millionaire. He can do a supervised home detox, they just give him Ativan to help withdrawal symptoms and maybe anti seizure meds. A travel nurse comes once a day. He could totally step away for a minute and do that but he’s in denial.

  • @JHomieQuan
    @JHomieQuan 10 місяців тому +2

    When he said you should stay in the states I almost passed out laughing omfg😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @bagadoink
    @bagadoink 10 місяців тому

    I got so excited that he mentioned 2 people that I’ve already been following for a long time with Cory Henry and Domi and JD Beck. It’s one thing when comedians you like collab with each other, but when they start talking about people from other industries, it’s fun that things I love in different worlds come together.

  • @sambbk7203
    @sambbk7203 10 місяців тому +4

    I'm dying at Burt interrupting himself

  • @j.r.348
    @j.r.348 10 місяців тому +1

    The wonderful thing about listening to Bert is all the stories the world gets to hear for the first time. Of course he believes he is recounting actual history.

  • @keatonclark3017
    @keatonclark3017 10 місяців тому +11

    Tom looking to the booth whenever Bert says something ridiculous is the YMH version of the Jim from the office

  • @JEsposito729
    @JEsposito729 10 місяців тому +21

    DOMi and JDBeck deserve every bit of clout from this. Congrats, guys!

    • @jordanramirez2154
      @jordanramirez2154 10 місяців тому +2

      Between that and Cory Henry… this made my heart happy

  • @Golfrlaur
    @Golfrlaur 10 місяців тому +4

    Bert explaining Howard to Tom 😂

  • @ForrestRooney
    @ForrestRooney 10 місяців тому +1

    Love the pod Bert thinking his life is hard was the funniest part though lmao. I'd love your life. Like he can't choose to love differently 😂 hilarious
    Jokes aside love you both !

  • @jeremyjacobs8171
    @jeremyjacobs8171 10 місяців тому +13

    Yall should do more of Brent presenting his take on a historical event of some significance, and let Tom/Booth Boyz tear him apart. Its fun. 😂

  • @MikeH7186
    @MikeH7186 10 місяців тому +18

    I got anxiety from the end of this episode just listening to Bert talk about his insecurities about being behind Tom.

    • @mezamichael
      @mezamichael 10 місяців тому +2

      Bert is behind everyone and works like he knows it. Bert isn't busy because he's older than everyone, he's busy because he isn't as talented. I can't count how many guys have given him the same advice on podcasts and he just brushes it off.

    • @EvoMonsters
      @EvoMonsters 10 місяців тому

      @@mezamichaelno kidding, the problem is all of his buddies know it but none are brave enough to tell him

    • @mezamichael
      @mezamichael 10 місяців тому

      @@EvoMonsters they tell him he just doesn't listen to them. Even his show guests mention it and he just talks away. I believe he only hears his own voice.

    • @ThnkDfrnt
      @ThnkDfrnt 10 місяців тому +1

      Comparison is the thief of joy

  • @NickNoodles57
    @NickNoodles57 10 місяців тому

    Love all that you’ve done and brought to the table brotha! I feel emotional watchin bc it’s like we’ve all been on this ride with you since the jump.

  • @donnastaples8005
    @donnastaples8005 10 місяців тому +5

    Seriously, Bert needs to come up for air every once in a while!!

  • @Xxballin17xX
    @Xxballin17xX 10 місяців тому +5

    This is the most I’ve heard Tom on this podcast since it started 😂

  • @simonasselin2443
    @simonasselin2443 10 місяців тому

    Bert, you’re doing amazing bud!
    I understand and support your crazy way through this world. Keep up the good work, we need a beautiful soul like yours on this planet. I wish to you fucken Good health and progress! 🤘🏼

  • @eric_wiley
    @eric_wiley 10 місяців тому +1

    when they mentioned domi and jd beck, I dropped everything and put on that Tiny Desk Concert; wowowowowow what an incredible talent and duo. what am i doing with life, lol

  • @kerch-e
    @kerch-e 10 місяців тому +7

    After all these episodes I just noticed that the Tom bear gives the Bert bear a little belly tickle in the intro.

  • @stonedcaterpillar3342
    @stonedcaterpillar3342 10 місяців тому +5

    Bert having no clue about the Caliphates is peak two bears lmao

    • @ScorpionP2C
      @ScorpionP2C 10 місяців тому

      Christina should update him on why the Hungarians are the way they are, holding back the Ottoman empire and all :D

  • @MrChillman120
    @MrChillman120 10 місяців тому +1

    I say this with all love to Bert. Psychologically his issue with losing weight is that his body is subconsciously trying to match his ego. His ego presents a boisterous, hilarious bigger than life character and his body is adapting to this pressure. There are many amazing image reprogramming methods to change your view on weight and fitness to a point where the fat melts off. Technically humans went on for centuries yes 100s of years with one meal a day and walked 20k steps everyday. So you can also try that. All love and keep up the good work!