Love Is Blind with Cole Barnett | Not Skinny But Not Fat
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- Опубліковано 5 гру 2022
- Season 3 of Netflix’s Love is Blind was wild! The drama was at an all time high, and most of it was brought by the very tumultuous relationship of Cole Barnett and Zanab Jaffrey. Cole joins the podcast today to give us some answers! Does he feel bad about the backlash Zanab got on the internet? Does he have any regrets about how he treated her? Would he have said yes at the altar? How are his DMs looking these days? Also, when has he last spoken to Zanab, and what does he think of all the shade she’s throwing!?? And yes we also talk about Cutie Gate. Listen to this juicy ep now!
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100% support Cole. Cole was not innocent, BUT he was remorseful. Zanab projected her own insecurities and created false victim narratives in order to destroy Cole’s character.
Nah he was an ass. Kept telling her he prefers another woman. Of course she felt insecure
No he told her that he finds other women attractive. No one is an angel
What exactly did he do wrong tho. He was a chill dude throughout the whole process. Y’all seem to not understand these people where speed dating for a few days before they all meet the other sexs .. it was totally innocent. He wasn’t the only male or female in the series who has said they are attracted to other people
@@iriscarlo8566 he never said that. You’re just like zanab, hearing things that were not said 😂 he said he finds Colleen attractive. My husband finds other women attractive. I find other men attractive. If you’re a secure, emotionally stable person, it’s not a big deal
@@VisceralCarbon Just a chill dude bruh.
One thing I will say about Cole is that he seems very emotionally balanced and mature. Able to see where he was wrong in a situation, reflect, take accountability and reject parts of the equation that don’t belong to him.
I love his ability to grow and develop. I hope his next wife will be the one! Wishing him ALL THE BEST that life has to offer.
It’s kinda satisfying to see that Cole gets to be on a big podcast.
Especially considering that zanab hasn’t been on any. I think she did one and the channel has hardly any subscribers 😂
Too bad it was with this lame podcaster that will find anything wrong with everyone except her beloved Kardashians. Pathetic
@@PHL82 if you're not a fan, why you here?
Glad to see Cole pushing back! He should have been able to do that at the reunion, but got the gang up instead. Love this side of him.
40:31 - with the cuties receipt, you can definately judge her....
The cuties scene was his saving grace....SO GLAD it came out.
"I don't think Colleen is that hot" the way I would've spit out my water if I had been drinking any when I heard that 😭
AMANDA, I used all caps because I pray you see this comment- you owe Cole an apology. I really hope you make things right. Between the invasive questions, to the telling him handle to future relationships. You were telling him to lie!
It's funny because people are constantly saying that Cole is "immature" when in reality he's incredibly emotionally mature, as reflected in his expectations around emotional honesty and authenticity. Lots of people struggle with expressing how they feel and shy away from sharing their feelings out of fear of rejection. So yea, he could do with learning to not throw other people's feelings under the bus by oversharing, but his ability to articulate his feelings is actually admirable
Yup the immature one is Zay for sure
Totally agree! I just commented this same thing!
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Exactly! He’s the mature one. Being goofy doesn’t make a person be immature on the inside really.
The interviewer here was awful
It is rare for a man to be this genuine and self reflective after a woman has hurt him and damaged his ego (that much).
I feel he absolutely deserves major credits for that.
After all that has happened he still is acknowledging Zanab's pain is legit for her, the way she experienced it.
He probably won't read this, but I hope he has a lovely woman sit on his face and showing him some genuine love real soon. ♡
I didn't like him in the beginning but now easily he's one of my favs. He didn't deserve to be portrayed the way he was.
LOL, going to coffee with his ex and still trashing him over a year later - Cole taking the high ground is so refreshing.
People would stop dragging her if she would stop dragging a man who refuses to be unkind to her right now. It's pretty simple. The fact that Cole said she is a good person, despite how awful she has been to him since the show says volumes about the difference between the two of them.
Say it for the people in the back!!!
He seems like genuinely a good dude. He's not perfect but what Z did to him was so un called for. Glad he's doing well for himself and also glad Netflix showed that scene to show that what Z was saying was blown way out of proportion
He's so sweet and genuinely likeable.. I wish him all the best!
Cole did an EXCELLENT job in this interview. I feel like you were criticizing him and telling him to lie to her. She is so insecure it didn’t matter WHAT or HOW much he lifted her up. She would find anything to complain about bc of a narrative she tells herself. It is NOT his job to constantly lift her up when she can’t lift herself up; that’s an unhealthy relationship.
I cannot stop commenting how awful the interviewer is.
The interviewer really thought she was a psych doctor. It was bad.
@@PHL82exactly 💯. And he was so sweet he let her talk down to him and judge and tutored him and didn't say anything back. He could've definitely put her in her place if he wanted with all her unnecessary advices and judgements and teachings .
I like that he took a step back for a couple of weeks and that he's now doing interviews.
The more I learn about him, the more I like and admire him ❤
It feels good to hear him speak with confidence and self-assurance. I've been in the same situation where a bunch of people who didn't know me on an intimate level falsely accused me of maliciously hurting someone else and it takes such a toll on you.
Yes! It's seriously one of the worst feelings. It really hit me hard at the wedding when his friend reassured him "you're about to be surrounded by a bunch of people who KNOW you." That was the perfect thing to say and I'm sure exactly what Cole needed to hear in that moment.
I’m proud of him for recognizing that he couldn’t fix her insecurities with affirmations
40:31 you also cannot blame Cole or judge him for what Zanab is feeling on the inside. That’s her responsibility. You cannot make it other peoples responsibility to fix your insecurities or know what you are feeling inside if you do not communicate.
YES SIS! Her insecurities are on HER and HER ALONE. It's not Cole's responsibility. That interviewer is bias indeed.
This woman flops most of her interviews. Why was this not done in person. It came off so ghetto
Yes! Also, she shouldn’t ask questions she didn’t want the answers to. Especially, when it comes to rating or comparing. I didn’t think Cole was wrong for being honest. That’s on her honestly because she wouldn’t have felt any better if he’d have lied.
True. I think the important thing here is that he did not know that what he was saying was hurting her. It's not like Matt, who was looking at a crying Colleen and did not stop. Cole was absolutely oblivious. But if they had talked about the topic and he knew that this would hurt her, I think he would be responsible for what she was feeling. Talking as somebody with a lot of insecurities around food and weight. It is really helpful, if your partner knows about it and doesn't say triggering things.
@@bobococo89 Hard disagree, he's the one who made her feel insecure by constantly complimenting other women and trying to chase after Coleen when he was engaged to his fiance! He doesn't deserve any sympathy for that.
I like how Cole was the one getting dragged through the dirt but SK ended up being a liar, and Brennon has a history of domestic violence.
Right? The “unvirtuous” one ended up being the most virtuous of them all.
Wait what??? Brennon what??
What? Where do I get this info?
It wasn't DV? I saw aggravated assault
ua-cam.com/video/EKSoufgQiWQ/v-deo.html
here’s a link!@@unwinedinewiththethompsons5082
No. You don’t lie to someone if they ask you a question. Please, woman. We’re not some porcelain little girls that cannot handle a true answer IF WE ASK. Please. This is so wrong for both men and women. We do not need to be treated like we’re stupid and weak. That’s why I much prefer old school feminism than this modern concept of protecting women’s emotions.
Agreed. And it just perpetuates sexist stereotypes about women's value/needs being centred on their looks and men being the strong unemotional ones. If you straight up ask someone to rate you on a scale of 1-10 and then ask them to rate someone else and you can't handle the honest answer, that's on you and your insecurities
I think it's awful how he was treated. He tried so hard to brighten her mood with his silly, light hearted banter, and she turned everything around on him. I feel light she crushed a part of his spirit, and I hope he is able to heal. It was insane how much he was gas lit by zaneb. I hope she gets help.
Cole is so right, Zanab’s insecurities made her interpret things incredibly differently than they were intended, could Cole have been more sensitive? Sure. But also, she didn’t communicate that to him. Instead she took offense allowed it to eat her up, and projected her feelings all over everything and became bitter, sarcastic, and snarky.
I can’t tell you how many times my husband has said something similar about saving my appetite bc he knows I have very little ability to eat large meals all at once. I have low self esteem so I could easily take that badly, but I have enough self awareness and trust in my husband to know that’s not how he means it.
The comment about food definitely reminded me of my husband too. I've asked him to please not comment on my eating unless he genuinely thinks I have forgotten what time it is or that we're having dinner soon or something. Because it does personally bother me when he makes those comments, even though I know he doesn't mean anything bad by it at all.
I feel like the problem with a lot of women these days is that they have become so "empowered" with the "girl power" narrative that they are so quick to condemn men after any mistake. It's like nobody is able to give their man any kind of benefit of the doubt.
I mean, just earlier today my husband said something that I thought was pretty offensive. But then he explained himself and I realized I understood what he meant, and he wasn't wrong exactly, but I just think he could have phrased it more delicately and in a less inflammatory way.
So his crime wasn't being a horrible, mean person... his crime was simply not phrasing something in exactly the best way he could have. Which is not a big deal at all, and something any wife should very easily give grace about and let go. But Zanab just doesn't seem capable of that.
Also, probably not a popular opinion, but I feel like Zanab is really milking the situation because she wants to take the route Deepti took. Her experience with Shake is probably why she got a book deal. I feel like Zanab is trying to take the same path, but it's not working well haha.
Yeah, I'm feeling like all publicity is good publicity to her.
Nah, season 2 and 3 were filmed almost at the same time weirdly. Deepti is so different from Zanab. She is an inspiration, and she was so much nicer to Shake than he even deserved. Cole is nowhere near as mean as Shake.
"Zabab and Cole's ex-wife "Can lick their wounds all day." 🤣
Way to go Cole!!! Handled everything honestly and openly. Look forward to seeing more from him!!!
I can listen to Cole talk all day. Would be awesome if he had his own podcast or reality show.
Thanks for this awesome interview.
I hate that people are telling him "don't be so honest" cause some people appreciate 100% brutal honesty. My husband is like that and I love that I never have to guess if he means what he says and guess what... I dont play mind games with him because it doesn't work with him. If I need affirmation I ask for it.... not ask him a loaded question.
People need to learn to have HEALTHY honest relationships and not tell guys that they need to learn how to play girls games. The girls need to Stop. Playing. Games.
I love Cole, he seems so genuine and mature.
"You guys wanted to bone?" That's a very disrespectful question, just because you do not understand the religion and mindset. You can see how Cole also stops a bit before answering it very elegantly.
Cole’s alright. I have an eating disorder and am insecure (trying to work on it through therapy). In the past I have dated guys like Cole, meaning very light-hearted, silly in a funny way, just cheerful and funny guys. It never worked out and I felt manipulated and attacked all the time. It was a huge problem for me. Now I date people that had to deal with their own insecurities, that consequently can understand mine, this way they can relate and understand each other much better.
The way Zay reacted to that cuties story reminded me of myself in the past. I am sorry because Cole seemed very affected by the way she treated him at the altar, and I totally get it. That wasn’t right nor fair. I hope everything works out for Cole. As I said, our traumas are not other people’s responsibility, especially if we don’t explain where we are coming from and tell other people how we need to be treated in order to feel loved and appreciated in a relationship.
She dealt with the whole situation in the worse possible way, and now the Internet hates her, which is not cool. But the internet is what it is.
Cole, stay honest, please. Just never ever treat a woman or talk to a woman as you would do to a male friend. We don’t work that way, trust me. Especially when it comes to our physique, always try to be extra careful and extra attentive, because the pressure most women have felt during their adolescent years just fu**ed up with our lives forever, unfortunately.
You’re cute, intelligent and nice, you’ll be fine bro!
Thanks for the entertainment (from Italy)✌️
Love your Comment! So insightful and wise. All the best to you!
@@KL-sr5jv Thanks! Likewise. Take care
I figured Zanab has an eating disorder and had one before Cole. That's really good that you are self aware of that issue. I never had an eating disorder, but I do get triggered from things that other ppl might not be triggered by. How do you manage them?
@@cookiecookielookies Sorry for the extra-long answer. I hope this can help.
I can tell you what has been working for me, but different types of therapy work well for different people. I had to learn (through therapy) what my "Schemas" were - that is called “Schema Therapy”, a subcategory of Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).
Many of us who have eating disorders or substance abuse disorders have sudden, intense reactions that activate very quickly when we feel some particular feelings. Our brain associates those particular feelings to traumatic events from the past, back to our childhood.
Those quick reactions are in fact a form of self-defence and compensation that we learned at a young age and have now crystallized, so those are quick and automatic (you wouldn't notice them).
Like, my eating disorder is very much related to feelings of exclusion (not being seen from others) or "rejection", as I process them.
To be honest, my childhood wasn’t even that bad, but my parents created a very toxic environment of constant fighting and overall insecurity that fuc**d with my head.
Whenever I feel rejected, that takes me back to those old traumatic years, so that’s a feeling that I cannot handle properly, and I would need food to compensate and feel good again, else I would implode.
Now I have learned that those feelings of rejection sometimes are just not accurate (I wasn't being rejected) or let’s say the intensity of those feelings as I feel them is not always accurate. I learned how to notice when a "Schema" activates. So, I try and take control and don’t let the schema control me.
The way I do that? I don't dismiss my feelings. I say to myself something like: "Love, we are very sensible when we feel rejected, but let’s consider straight up facts before reacting. Your friends love you, they demonstrate that to you constantly, and I know, they changed their plans today and you were the last person who got informed. Now, let's take a couple of hours and see if we feel the same way afterwards. If we do, we can call our friends and tell them how we feel."
And since I accept my traumas and feelings and at the same time don't react straight away, I calm down (I use some tricks, like breathing exercises or visualizations) and most of the time, in a half hour or so, I see that I wasn’t being rejected in the first place or that the intensity of those feelings wasn’t in fact accurate for that particular situation. It was only the old bloody Schema already activating (that bastard!).
Now I can see what is happening while it is happening, and consequently I acknowledge the pain (because now I know exactly where it comes from) and reassess the situation after a pause. Mindfulness can help with taking that pause, so you can take some time before reacting.
It took me almost 4 years of therapy to get where I am now but let me tell you… it was, it is, totally worth it.
Good luck, wishing you the best!
I appreciate hearing perspectives from people who've dealt with earing disorders. I want to be fair to everyone involved and not just side with one person unfairly. Your comment sounds like what I assumed was happening with these two abd it's just a sad, sucky situation all around.
This interview makes me like Cole even more!
Honesty is the best policy!!!
She was acting as if she was a psych doctor. She’s terrible.
She's telling him not be brutally honest. That's why you don't ask the fish you ask the fisherman how to fish
Hurt people hurt people.. Z has her own problems to work through before she can be with someone.
Don’t ask him to lie. People that are honest are the ones you want to have around.
👏🏻👏🏻
She kept going on about the rating, completely ignoring that Cole said 1. That was his dynamic with Zanab and 2. She also was honest about him not being her type physically and told him on many occasions.
Thank you for interviewing Cole. My take on this:
- (a) Don't lie. I believe no woman or man is to be rated - everyone has flaws and yet everyone is unique. The husband hardly tells me I'm beautiful - yet tells me "I love you" every day - is enough for me to feel beautiful.
- (b) I realise marrying a person who is NOT your type lasts longer (happy to have a debate on this) -- I've seen many of my friends (male and female) marry someone who is not their type and last longer in marriage. I married that is not my type - we're 6 years in - not smooth sailing - but still together.
- (c) Just be yourself from Day 1. Yeah sure, Cole is immature / light-hearted / loves to banter / too honest. There will be someone for you who can vibe your energy -- or at least doesn't bring you down just to lift themselves (high) up.
- (d) You are not responsible for other people's trauma (other than yourself). Especially past trauma before they met you. Understanding they have trauma (or you have trauma) is good enough. Tip-toeing / walking on eggshells / trying to avoid the subject - it doesn't help your partner to overcome the negative emotion and convert it into a positive one. People who learn to overcome trauma and change it into something positive are the best / most confident people.
Cole was kinda goofy and oblivious... but Zanab was straight up gaslighting, malicious, twisting his words, smearing his name to others, etc. Despite her attempt to play victim I'm gladmost people can see the truth of things now.
Lol “being brutally honest, you know, never really works for anybody” 😂
I needed to hear that!
He honestly sounds like a really cool guy, not sure why he came across as so douchy in the show. If this is what reality tv does to a person's image, I'm glad I've never participated to a show like this, it sounds so traumatic.
Wow who knew Cole actually is actually very mature!!! Like, no joke he's more mature than the rest of the cast in reality!!! So funny how the script flips.
I think that Cole actually acknowledging that her feelings were valid because she felt them but I do agree that it was unfair of her to keep those things from him rather than communicating how she felt so he could have a chance to make amends and make it right and see her perspective. She didn’t give him the opportunity to do that because I don’t think she wanted him to. She still has a lot of work to do on herself and her own perception of herself and her feelings so that she can be confident in communicating with a partner in a way that is open rather than closed off and almost on defence constantly. It was uncomfortable to watch truly. I feel he was really misrepresented on this show based on Zinab’s portrayal of behind the scenes and then the edit. He totally said some stupid shit but I don’t believe that that deserves public humiliation. That is extremely harsh “punishment” to choose and plan to place on someone else especially someone you claim to love because they hurt your feelings. I just think she went too far and too petty without being very self aware in her part to play in the relationship. It was pretty wild to see.
They just met so she definitely should have been clear about her insecurities instead of asking him to rate her.
We all seek some degree of admiration in our partner often tied to an attribute we feel we're missing. For Cole that was probably the grounded energy and "deeper" conversation he had with Zay; for Zay that was probably the light hearted energy and emotional openness Cole had. When our insecurities go unchecked they can cause us to resent these characteristics. I hope Cole finds someone who loves him as a whole and accepts him for who he is
Why is the interviewer telling him how he should have handled his relationship and judging him?
Great question
Love how he countered the interviewer when she mentioned it is necessary to lift your partner up more with affirmations because I would have said the same thing. Absolutely, you *should* lift your partner up but there has to be accountability on the other side of that too because you can do the "right" thing all day every day but if someone doesn't do the work they need to do on their end, the negative will penetrate whereas the positive will barely scratch the surface.
Not every girl wants to be complimented all the time omg
Annoying interviewer. Only watched for Cole. Glad to see he’s emotionally recovering. Sounds like he’s matured a lot from this! So happy for him❤️
I know, I couldn't even finish it. The point is for the interviewer to use her platform to give Cole a voice and be neutral. If she interviewed Zay, she wouldn't cut her off and will allow her to add more lies about Cole.
i just want to say, this interview was conducted so well and it was so enlightening, so thank you for that. I had to go back and rewatch their entire wedding segment because for some reason, I was convinced that he was going to say yes so hearing him say that it was a definitive NO made me rethink a lot of things. But after rewatching... Everything he said tracks with expecting to continue to date after both saying no. I believe that he wanted them to make it to a "yes" that day but that their relationship needed work so it was a "no for now". But now knowing that SHE was supposed to also be a "no for now" and then humiliated and dumped him instead... She even said their love was worth fighting for... And afterwards she says that he NEEDED to be told some things to not do that a girl again. And she kept saying that she couldn't marry him, but she didn't have to in order to keep working things out and they had already agreed not to anyway. And even his friend said "I thought they were on the same page" when she was walking away. I believe she had every opportunity to express her doubts and criticize him but she was hurt by some of his words/actions and probably especially by him saying he wouldn't marry her, so she thought "after everything this MF put me through, devaluing me, and now he wants to essentially reject ME because he thinks I'M making HIM feel inferior. We'll see who rejects who..." But obviously, that anger doesn't just erase the genuine love and need for acceptance and affirmation she felt, so it was easy to tap into that as well for the wedding. That's the best guess I have.
This guy was done wrong - So glad they showed the cuties scene.
They really tried to tear this guy down at the reunion. Borderline bullying in my opinion. He was honest about where he messed up, and he took responsibility. A lot of things they said about him were ridiculous and it was a false narrative. Didn’t enjoy seeing the hate towards him
Me either in fact I was really bothered by it especially when I saw that they didn’t keep the same energy for Bartiste
I love cole. I knew Z was going to cause problems the moment she didn’t want to take off her makeup. Like he is so secure & open & she’s so insecure & wants to seem like the victim but thankfully didn’t work in her favor lol
You just made that up. She took her make up off….without him prompting her.
@@princessjasmine4723 I’m not saying he prompted her lol. I’m saying she made a big deal of taking it off on her own!
I agree she kept asking and asking him then when he agreed she looked different she got upset
@@kellyalejandra2563 not what your comment says. She never wanted to keep her make up on.
Just out of curiosity, did you also think Deepti was manipulative and insecure last season? I have a theory about why yall like Cole so much but hate bartise and shake….
@@princessjasmine4723 no I loveeeeee Deepti!! Lol
Cole is a sweetheart, so sad to see how Zineb treated him. She acted like a scorn woman, I know that tv makes everything look different but what she did at the alter was so wrong. Like one thing I that I think was shown on tv was that was really stupid of cole was asking her if she’s bipolar. But I think it was just an ignorance thing because I knew what he meant that it was just the wrong word. Cole seems to be very genuine, it was sad to see everyone gang up on him at the reunion it was so sad. The fact that it’s all filmed I think is even more traumatic
Such a great interview! Thank you!
I'll hold my tongue about the interviewer but TEAM COLE! Idc what he has done or not done. I believe him BEFORE I'll ever believe the rest of the S3 cast
Ghetto interviewer. Does she not have a studio
@@PHL82 I watched another interview with Cole and there are a black couple from a reality show that gave a GREAT interview and even did a mental health check on him to see if he's okay. They didn't cut him off and allowed him to say his truth! That's the way interviews should be handled.
@@bobococo89 I watched that interview as well. It was great. I am not sure what this girl does? Is she a podcaster? If I were Cole I would have walked out after the first 20 minutes. He has class. I assumed he knows she’s an armature…Kim gave this girl a chance and my God she must be mortified as well.
I’m a relatively new listener but every time I tune in, Amanda is always such a great interviewer! You speak with grace and empathy while getting the info us viewers want!! Thank you, you’re amazing and keep up the great work!!
This was such a great interview. I would actually argue that Cole was probably one of the more mature guys in the third season. Despite what zanab says, he doesn’t seem to have any problem taking accountability for the way his words or actions hurt zanab. He acknowledges that her feelings were valid and acknowledges that he was the cause of those feelings , whether or not those were his intentions. I truly feel like he’s a good guy, I think zanab needs to take notes from cole on how to hold herself accountable for the way she treated him as well. Neither of them were angels but I only see one person willing to recognize their faults and learn from them. The other is just taking every opportunity to hurt and embarrass the other person.
I don’t know if he was incorrectly portrayed on the show but he comes across here as being quite solid and mature. Zanab’s actions since the show ended have been immensely immature in comparison.
He said it on "fit men cook" youtube channel/podcast that the editing was made to have him be young and immature and her older and wiser. Irl he owns a houses and flips property and resells them afterwards. Her place wasn't shown because it didn't fit the narrative. The talked a lot about his faith and even went to a religious counseling together and that wasn't shown either. Overall his values were removed from the show.
Great interview! Down the middle and you asked probably every question that viewers have. And you managed to get really good answers. Well done, Amanda!
Lmao at him saying he doesn’t think Coleen is that hot
Uhh, why is the interviewer defending Zenab so much? When asked about the cuties scene, you say “We can’t judge her for that?” YES. We most definitely can. Cole offered her a fricken poke bowl, he asked WHY she wasn’t eating because he was concerned. Cole never intended to hurt Zenab, and Zenab intentionally stabbed him in the heart on the wedding day, embarrassing him in front of his friends. She had mal intent while Cole (still said some immature things), never intentionally wanted to tear her down. He constantly confirmed and re-affirmed that Zenab was beautiful. He complimented her MORE than any freaking normal man does, ever. BECAUSE she has insecurity, she fully believes she is unattractive. Therefore, nothing Cole could say or do could change her belief about herself. To the interviewer, I know you want to stay neutral, but seriously consider that after the cuties scene aired, most people (unless they’re completely delusional) can see that Zenab twisted and LIED to everyone at the reunion because in her mind, she had made up the narrative that Cole thought she wasn’t good enough. Her perspective is skewed & if you don’t see that, then yours is too!! #teamcole
Exactly. Like maybe she should’ve interviewed her instead. Wtf?
Agreed. He has said she was beautiful over and over again.
@@bobococo89 I thought once they had gotten past the ratings thing, he was naturally complimenting her and telling her she was beautiful. Zanab brought a lot of that on herself, especially when she wasn't telling him how much it was affecting her. I think her beauty was growing on him in ways he hadn't realized before, and he was expressing it. I think she has an axe to grind, at the reunion, and she was using it at the wedding and reunion.
Cole seems much more mature than people realize. Zanab is just looking for folks to gas her up and continue to tear down Cole.
I think it’s because the host had criticized Cole during the season in favor of Zenab so she maybe doesn’t want to feel stupid
@@deeniesmothers9310 Exactly!
You gave a really good interview! Asked all the right questions, was fair, & held him accountable when it was necessary. I’m glad this video popped up as a suggested video for me.
Something that doesn’t get brought up is how one’s lack of inner-beauty can make them irritating to look at. Zanab’s early treatment of him could have brought down his level of attraction to her. So, she made the mistake of asking questions she wasn’t ready to hear the answers to. He would have benefited from lying or dancing around the question. It’s also not normal to be pitted into impossible scenarios where an honest person will have to lie to appease her
Zanab has huge, crippling insecurities that no man will be able to deal with. She needs lots of therapy about the loss of her parents and body image issues.
Cole needs to develop his radar to stay away from women who have massive insecurities as he is very open and honest. He should not have to change except that he needs to be able to “read the room”
This made me like Coke even more. I agree with some of the other comments, the interviewer was generalizing about ALL women. We are not ALL the same, if those are the things you need, just say so. I don’t want to be lied too.
I AGREE!!
Coke 😂
Agree 👍 and brutal honesty doesn't have to be brutal if it's delivered with empathy and respect.
Glad to see cole stand up for himself, a lot of your questions were not very respectful. on the topic of asking a man to rate you out of 10 and other women out of 10 is extremely bad, immature behaviour, that is only to sabotage things.
Great dude. Love that’s he’s chill and laid back. He’s unfiltered and goofy but really a wonderful person.
Thank you both for the interview it was great to know more
This is a wonderful interview. Probing, holding to account but kind and respectful. That clown that interviewed Zanab needs to come and observe how it’s done. That was painful to watch.
The thing that gets me, that nobody mentions is that she never straightforward said yes she wanted to marry him when he asked her repeatedly flat out. She used "100% sign me up," in response to a lot of "ifs," and hypothetical stuff that she changed the subject to and he/nobody noticed. I knew she was going to say no for sure, but I didn't expect her to be so vindictive and unceasing to this day.
Cole should be the Bachelor.
Now that would be THE plot twist!
This would be epic
He kind of has all the goods for the show, plus he loves Jesus? Definitely a shoe in. I want him to be a little older, though. He's 27 now, so maybe.
That is a crossover I would actually welcome!
I hate how everyone bullied him, it was soo sad to see.
I’m glad to see so many Cole supporters here. He and Z just happened to meet and it brought out her greatest trauma, fears and insecurities, and it combusted. He has a god heart and I felt badly for him on the reunion. In another timeline or life, he and Z would have been a great match.
I hope he continues to be honest and not lie.
Great Interview! Genuine answers, that show maturity, introspection and humbleness. Here is something to learn for all of us. Don't judge based on a storyline of a TV show.
Great interview!!! 👏👏👏
Not super happy about her basically saying women need to be lied to. I married my brutally honest husband, and it's one of the things I appreciate the most about him, and I don't really need to be complimented about my looks all the time, that's honestly being insecure.
He handled the interview pretty well, Zainab I don't think is a very nice person.
As a female I would like to add that not every one of us craves compliments on our looks! For the most part I dislike them. Seriously. Because I feel that my intelligence is almost always overlooked because of being "pretty". If I am in a relationship with someone it is nice to occasionally be told I look beautiful or whatever but I will always prefer compliments about what I am doing, my skills, intelligence, kind heart etc...
Part of the reason is that our looks don't define who we are and we have so little control over that it's such a shallow thing to build your self worth off of.
Yeah I find it insulting as well. I've actually started calling out people on empty compliments. Its definitely a turn off for me on people.
My partner and I are pretty transparent to each other about finding other people attractive. And there will always be someone more attractive than me, it doesn't mean my partner doesn't find me attractive or doesn't prefer to be with me. My bf is still my favourite person in any room with people, and he knows that. I'd be more insecure if he was only with my for the way I look. This narrative of lying to women to make them feel better about themselves is actually kind of anti-feminist in my opinion
I like compliments on my looks and all, but when my husband compliments me on my personality or skills it's a completely different feeling that I often prefer.
Yes! Appearance based comments are superficial and nothing more. A true compliment is a thoughtful one, based on your character and who you truly are, not what your vessel, clothes, makeup, etc. looks like.
I loved what Raven said to the camera after Bartise started telling her how hot she was. "He didn't have any of these compliments for me in the pods." It's not always a nice thing to just be praised for being attractive. That literally has nothing to do with who you are.
@@mignondejager7286 I totally agree. I loved what Cole said to Zay about the whole "I only have eyes for you" thing being BS. Because it obviously is. Literally nobody on earth only has eyes for their partner. We all recnogize when other people are attractive. That doesn't mean you have to lust after them or try to cheat or something. But to pretend you don't even see it is just weird.
This was really good interview these are the questions I’ve been wanting to know from his perspective
Team Cole since day one
Absolutely loved this interview! Personally, I didn't feel like Cole was all that bad. I'm so glad the cutie scene was shown to us so we could see what really happened 👀 Zanab came off like a scorned woman and what she did at the altar was horrendus!! And the clapping after her tirade was so obnoxious. I dont blame him one bit for being confused by her, one second its "I love you so much," the next she is completely tearing him apart on TV and in front of his family/friends. Cole seems like a really genuine person who is just trying his best.
The rating thing was a trap, every answer would be bad, because she would know, if he would lie.
I doubt he'd ever see this but if so Cole don't stop being honest please. Dishonesty is a recipe for disaster. If you think about it your honesty may have saved you from divorce #2. The rating thing is such a lose lose situation for anyone. And if anyone asks you to rate their looks on a 1-10 scale...run. And if they then probe to rate others on a 1-10 scale...run faster. You need someone that's confident in herself. Good luck in your future ✌️
I couldn’t agree more. I loved the interview, but hated the generalization of women. If someone asks you to rate them, it’s def. a bit of a red flag, but I’d you answer honestly (as you should) they can’t use that against you. Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to. The thought of “sometimes lying is better” makes me cringe. Always be honest.
Yeah this might be an unpopular opinion, but I think it was ultimately for the better that that incident happened when it did, and not after they had both said "I do." If it's gonna break, let it break sooner rather than later
I think honesty is good, but sometimes you don’t want to do what Dr. Kirk Honda calls radical honesty and have some tact. If asked to rate, say something like that’s not fair you’re gorgeous, and I also love you for more than your looks.
@@djk5v I agree-there’s a way to be honest but still be respectful. I just don’t like the idea that lying is somehow the right route.
@@JuliaZaretskaya YES! He said a few things like women vs men- it's not about gender!! Anyone would be hurt by what Zanab said at the wedding. Also a lot of women are not like Zanab!! I wouldn't want someone to lie to me, and I also wouldn't ask to be rated bc I know I would be upset if I had a low rating. Zanab seems to have a lot of insecurities that she needs to deal with before getting in a relationship. My issue with Cole is not that he said she's a 9/10, but when he talked to the cameras at the pool scene- he said he feels the physical connection with Colleen and the emotional connection with Zanab. He asked where is the between? So I wonder if Zanab had a feeling that Cole was lying about the 9/10 bc that's a high number but why would he make it seem like he only had an emotional connection with her? I think he is lying somewhere. The rating was fine with me if it was his honest rating
Brutally honest works for me. Let’s stop normalizing that ALL girls NEED to hear about their looks and that their significant other must complement then on it as the first thing that comes to mind. My husband is like yours he always complements my attributes and not so much my looks, even so I know I’m hot it makes me feel way valuable to hear all the other insight that he has on me, that’s why I marry him. We will all be saggy at one point in our life’s. Your husband is right you are smart and that’s so dang BEAUTIFUL, ageless beautiful. Cole you’ll find someone special that will appreciate your honesty and that they don’t just need your constant validation on their looks.
The fact that it’s over a year later and she dated him for only a few weeks, makes it so low rent that Z would even bother. Like move on With your life and stop being so angry.
It's funny Cole brought up the pool. In the pods she claimed to be a "carefree adventurous traveler". So when she didn't even want to get in a pool, I was like "Yep she's full of it".
Also she looked really uneasy being outside when they were playing the games too. So she is definitely more indoor high maintenance diva which isn't for Cole because he's outdoor active.
In the end Zay is a cautionary tale to always pay attention to how a woman acts and not what she says. She clearly just told Cole what he wanted to hear.
We love you Cole!
I'm actually really proud of myself for intuiting his nature from the get go. This gives objective truth to the positiveness of him that is spliced in editing.
Great interview! I vote for Cole for the next Bachelor! :D
Amazing interview 🙌🏽
Omg I love this!
i love Cole, he’s so genuine
Why lift someone up over and over to not be believed. He was honest. Everyone has eyes. Love his honesty.
As far as the comments he made in the pool to Colleen. After being on 3 different tv shows I KNOW for a fact that the producers goaded those reactions out of him. Notice how each time there was an uncomfortable or awkward dynamic between two people they would cut to THOSE two people having a conversation about it. Idk if they’re allowed to discuss exactly what questions they were asked and when. I can guarantee you the producers explicitly placed them IN those predicaments and noticed how often every contestant is drinking alcohol. They KEEP these contestants (the cast) under the influence ti increase the chances that there is drama because drama SELLS. Colleen’s response to Cole’s compliments was totally human. She had been REJECTED by him and she cried about it to him saying in person that he found her attractive. Who wouldn’t be even a little flattered about that?? It didn’t need to blown so far out of proportion the way it was BUT it’s TV!
I loved him. He's a bright light in the world. He has fun energy and deserves to be someone who is cheerful and bright as he is.
Love Cole even more after this interview 😊
Great interview with Cole. I think it affirmed that he’s a good dude. The interviewer though? Not soo much. 🙄
loved her
@@aathenaiz6151 She was kind of a snarky bitch to him.
She kept interrupting and kept trying to defend zenab
@@SweetsRN When did she defend her? I think the host did a good job
I loved this interview and you were a great interviewer, BUT why are you generalizing women like that?! A lot might not love being rated like that, BUT I do prefer honesty over lies all day. Even if it hurts my feelings. And on the flip side there’s prob. plenty of men who get their feelings hurt with a rating, but also others who would prefer honestly. It’s probably healthier as a whole to not generalize. I understand your intent wasn’t bad. And again, great interview and questions.
The “ you fatten yourself up “ comment was a response to her saying “ you fatten me up “ which was her being weird about her diet and weight.
I honestly was thinking about restarting my sm presence JUST to basically defend Cole lol. I thought he was a bit clumsy in his words but that’s it. I don’t feel he was malicious or vindictive in anyway. The genuine flames in his eyes and his attempts to truly make up for whatever he had said or done (when Zanab brought those things to his attention) was sincere! Not to mention after being torn down and attacked by almost everyone in that reunion the way he broke down and apologized AGAIN… that dude ain’t as bad as that effing woman Mande him out to be. What she did at the wedding was SO uncalled for and down right cruel! My heart broke for him.
Oh and Cole Z 1000% knew how damaging what she did at the alter was. Especially after all the conversations the two of you had that you two wouldn’t be saying yes… she plotted and strategically planned to RUIN Cole without his knowledge in front of his family and friends. That was 1000% intentional!! 10000%!!!
I live in dallas and got the message too. I totally thought it was a scam!
TEAM Cole 100% .