Why And HOW The Narcissist Will Bait You
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- Опубліковано 1 тра 2023
- Gain a deeper understanding of why and how narcissists use baiting as a manipulative tactic in this informative video. We'll explore the intricacies of toxic relationships and the psychological abuse that often occurs. Learn about red flags, self-esteem, and boundaries, and discover strategies for healing from narcissistic abuse. Whether dealing with a covert narcissist, navigating through love bombing and devaluation, or facing baiting tactics after discard, this video provides valuable insights to help you protect yourself and regain control.
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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
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Narcissists existence is truly exhausting. And frankly what a waste of life, theirs and their supplies. I will never understand the disorder. To live your life solely for destroying it and never experience happiness, deep emotional connection with anyone. Horror!
Once you’ve got their number, it’s best to avoid them altogether.
Not b/c they’re so scary, but rather they’re toxic.
I choose those who are drama-free every time 💙
You can never ever win an argument
That's because they are masters at twisting and twisting the truth . . . and lying.
Seriously..... Even if you have all the science evidence based facts and evidence, they will still claim they are right, a "genius".
I new a narcissist with a palates certificate who was convinced they can heal my genetic autoimmune disease. Genetic, as in I have a special gene that triggered the autoimmune disease, Ankylosing Spondylitis. Palates is NOT going to remove a gene from my body...... Even the best scientists and doctors have not yet found a cure for autoimmune disease, it can only be managed.... 😒😣🤦♀️
This person claimed they are a "genius", and somehow smarter than my doctors, physical therapists, dietician, rheumatologist, and other specialists...... This person also tried to tell me I didn't have Ankylosing Spondylitis and had arthritis..... They tried to tell me I'm not immunocompromised, and covid is "just a cold", and I was "overreacting" about the pandemic..... Even though ALL my doctors and specialists (with college degrees, NOT certificates) were saying the direct opposite. I went No Contact. Next week, I will be No Contact for one year! ❤
Ever
Have won thus the spam
They are pot stirrers, they enjoy any chaos they can start!
NEVER take the bait...NEVER!!
So ....true it's
control thats what they love ❤️
Absolutely. The subtle control is the most lethal. If the narc can control the conversation, controlling the relationship is the next step.
During an argument my narc family member was being very vile and insulting me calling me a loser and a bunch of expletives that I didn't achieve anything etc.
He also claimed I was really jealous of him and his life because "he could just tell". It took everything within me to walk away rather than getting into an argument. At that point he said "oh yeah yeah you don't have an answer because it's all true and by walking away you are proving everything I say right" he followed it up with
"It's not my fault you're jealous of my life"...
At the time I was so hurt because of the nastiness and utter vile rubbish he was spewing.
These days I laugh at that stupid interaction for what it was. Utterly pathetic.😆
One thing for sure is narcs don't like it when they can't get into a nasty fight that they are gunning for.
isn't that such an old script and one that I've heard from my narc family member hundreds of times... that's why we are now estranged and it's going to stay that way unfortunately (or rather fortunately) I'm going to see to it that I don't get hoovered in again.
@@SusanNagy Yes Susan it's like a script they all memorise as they all sound very much similar. Definitely one of the many reasons I am also estranged from the said person.
Yes absolutely you have to do what's best for you.
On the flip side if a long time family scapegoat finally stands up for themselves they are labeled a "shit starter." You simply cannot win. Just walk away.
@cassiebennet4262 yes that's exactly it because if I would try to stand up for myself then I would be told I was being argumentative and starting things up. It's infuriating.
Until I learned what was really going on and took control back, he could bring bring out of me someone I wasn't. I remember saying, rather yelling, "I don't do drama! This is not me!"
You’re not alone! My ex was the ONLY person who could get me to react so emotional. To this day, I still don’t understand it. I wanted so badly to be seen and understood and that’s something he intentionally withheld. And then he’d accuse me of the opposite of who I am, and that drove me nuts. He would even tell me a food he knew I hated and would tell me I liked it. It was total mindfu**ery!
Wow 100% true. I did not bite on the reactive baiting - at this point I realized what she was about and ghosted her from that point on. It was the best move I could ever have done. Not reacting is so important.
Well done!!
My narcissist father tells me the most fantastical lies that are so easily disseminated, then he will change the story only a short time later to another narrative completely , it's so exhausting . As many have said before the best thing to do is to go no contact .
I had to go no contact with my 82 year old narc mom. Iam 60 and since she moved down the street 3 years ago I have been having multiple health issues. I haven't talked to her in 5 months now. She put her house up for sale, gave away all the things I gave her through the years and moved away without telling me where she went. She has baited me via my brother and sister in law and she left me a strange letter before she left. It makes me feel sad but iam also very relieved she is gone!
They will use everything that they know about you to bait you, and as soon as they know everything about you, game on 👍 Christina thanks for the video and BTW it's good to hear from you 🙏🦋
When you don’t react, they appear to just turn it up, for example, they just turn up out of nowhere and just stare at you holding a glare at you for at least five seconds, like they are desperately drawing from a straw trying to get the last bit of water from an empty cup, bloody weird I say.
Why grayrocking doesn’t really work.
Your contribution in personal sanity check of narc victims is uncountable.
Thank you.
All the tricks in the book even the ones I didn’t know
Usually the case. These relationships offer the kind of education you’ve never wanted!
I do not trust my narcissistic husband at all, his abuse gets more subtle and more subtle, tries many ways to get my “ goat” and get me upset! He uses everything against me. I am not perfect, but learning not to react is helping. What he uses is fake, fake compliments, fake flattery, I do not buy it anymore! He knows my buttons, and is learning new ones!
This was done by my daughter in front of a judge. She had estranged me, all I could was leave the courtroom and scream. It just blew me away why my daughter did what she did.
Over time i learned to deliver my thoughts about her ( the narcissistic creature i once was involved with ) in a precise , acerbic way and only when no one else was around ( although she tried to make me react with an audience around time and time again ) and then just walk away and leave her alone with her immrnense frustration. I was really good at it ( don't mess with an angry empath when his empathy is almost turned off ) Drove her crazy. She deserved it.
Nice. Done it a few times it works really good. But don't put others at risk of harm unknowingly if there is a child or someone else unprotected. The narc will vent on them. That's why I don't do it,he will harm mom more as retribution
When I listen to things like this it just reminds me that we have to always rise above, keep our cool, see the game for what it is all the while deciding they are actually very nasty and horrible people in our lives and that's fine, but what about if you're having an off day? A day where you're hormonal, or catching a cold or days where you know you're just plain in a mood because yes, we do hear all the ways and techniques and ways to try and get on the top of our game (sometimes I do believe that it causes Shame in us) because we believe it's always on us to rise above, be the relatable authentic person who others can relate to but when we are the ones that are at our wits end and we need to blow up, it's only healthy because we are taking a lot of abuse because sometimes you may be on a short fuse, on a shorter temper that usual and I think we just have to allow ourselves to be somewhat imperfect and after not beat ourselves up on it and actually deciding that whatever you said the other person actually deserved it because you might have been sensitive that day because you wouldn't have thought to mind your form.
Yep, you aren't allowed to have an off day when with a narcissist
@@summersalix I just think even if they don't like it we have to remember we are human beings who do get angry and allow ourselves that privilege even if they won't. Anger is a natural emotional response especially when your spoken to like something off their shoe you can only take so much but allow yourself that privilege to say okay I blew up, I needed that, I can't be on form ALL the time without being hard on ourselves tearing in to ourselves feeling like we ought to have rose above how about we be kind to ourselves? They'll always be terrible to us but we can and give ourselves a break without shaming ourselves
Yes my mother was trying to do this last night she was trying to start an argument with me saying that my other daughter's know that I favor my youngest daughter and in my head I was thinking you're projecting onto me and confusing me with yourself and how you favor your youngest daughter but of course I didn't take the bait and I just ignored her baiting.
My husband with narcissistic traits had not had any great narcissistic supply from me in months. So he baited me with an old bad habit of his that he’d actually broken, because he knew in a second it would cause me that same anxiety and I would flare up, explode and he just literally sat there and watched. I apologized later, I told him I meant every single word I said and still do, but I should not have lost my cool and yelled it at you. That’s what his supply is- when he can get people to lose their cool, etc. I’d been “ ego fluffing “ him all year. I wasn’t apologizing for what I had said to him, I apologized for yelling and stated I should have talked quietly and calmly, therefore letting him know it worked for a minute but I knew what he was trying to do.
I told my caring son who my narcissistic husband, is trying all his tactics on to him to do what he wants, not caring my son’s needs at all, to get on with own life, do not buy into his game, he hurt my son once real bad,
The last time I talked to my ex, I asked her to tell me when my stepson is about to graduate. Her response "... yeah he needs someone to take him camping and fishing." Basically saying that he needed a better Dad. I ended up hate texting her for 30mins. I felt terrible, I called to apologize a few days later and she told me that she had sex with someone else.
Sorry you’re dealing with that but I hope you were able to find some closure 🙏❤️
@@CommonEgo Thank you for showing me that there's nothing wrong with me. Not blaming myself has been the hardest part to learn. You have been a savior.
They turn their kids against you and sic them on you. They use rejection😮They gossip call you the gossip. When you defend yourself they say we do not talk about family after they ruined your reputation Abusive..Gaslighting their favorite weapon, use guilt..they must be in control..but it is an illusion
I remember this group of narcissist talking about how if they just flattered this lady a bunch that she would give them what they wanted
That’s amazing. You write well and seem very smart, and I am sure good looking as well. Your smile lights up a room. Can you help me move my refrigerator tomorrow afternoon? Thanks babe! 🤣
@@latentsea 🤣
As usual great video!!!
OMG! I was just saying that this morning. We have been getting along for a little bit now. It’s my husband and we work together. I just said this happens just when I’m thinking oh everything‘s “OK“ and then boom! A bomb comes out of nowhere and I think what the hell just happened?! So I said I’m preparing because I know 8:45 that’s gonna happen. It’s a cycle.
Yup all of the above
I understand perfectly about the baiting and triggering. I’ve been dealing with a 70/5 year old widdow baby boy that does the stupidest crap just to get a reaction out of me so he can run around in his drama queen act that I’m the one with anger issues and he’s so scared 😱 ahhhhh
How to handle baiting with lies...what response should i give
Came in time ❤️
I stayed friends with both my best friend and her ex after they broke up. Her ex is also one of my husbands rather few friends.
The breakup was about three years ago.
I recently learned from my friend that she realized he was gaslighting her on and off for seven years and she finally broke up when he tried to make her see me less because I was emotional and that made her “too emotional” and it was “bad for her”.
I supported him after the breakup and hugged him while he cried in our kitchen. I feel so fucking betrayed! He tries to take my best friend away from me and then let me comfort him after she broke up?!
Fucking mess atm…
That is crazy
Thanks 🙏🏽
Don't take the bait
Now I dont know anymore. All these videos suggest to ignore it, but all that does is make me a doormat for abusive folks. 😢 And I am not even talking partner or family, but just random strangers from daily life..
Learn to say "no". I've even sometimes have said, "I can't", because I truly couldn't (emotionally, physically, or financially) do what they wanted. Sometimes I didn't have the energy or the time or even the desired to do what they requested. But in the past, before I realized what was going on (that people were taking advantage of my caring heart), I always said "yes" because they needed help. The more times I said "no", the easier it got. I still say "yes", but I'm more decerning as to who i
or what I say "yes" to.
Walk away from them ignore who cares what they think they're strangers right? Why care what a stranger thinks about you?
Provoking 😮
But the real thing is 11 months after my horrible breakup ( she went to the police 3 months after she found out that she could not get half the value of my estate in fact 5 days after my lawyer told her) is that I know that I am a good man even if I say this myself, I don’t want to be alone, but there is a big but !!! . The drama she created will follow me for the rest of my life, and means I have a n intergrated suspension for other women eventhow I should not have
Suspicion
How do I act if or when my daughter comes back to me her mother?
Flattery
One thing i dont understand. She does this alot, however, the only reaction she gets is silence. Everytime. Why does she continue?
Illicit reaction
Illusion
I was raised on 😜Mad magazine, Snappy answers to stupid questions.
Block
Love bombing 💣 compliments 😮
😂
People who are obsessed with narcissists are also narcissistic.
Or just non narcissistic codependents who ruminate until they heal.
What about people who are obsessed with narcissistic people who are obsessed with even more narcissists?