The Dangers Of Being Too Nice
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
- The Dangers Of Being Too Nice
In this video, we'll discuss the dangers of being too nice and the importance of being authentic in your relationships. Learn how being too nice can lead to inauthenticity and hinder your personal growth. Discover the value of setting boundaries and the role of attachment in building genuine connections. Don't miss this eye-opening discussion on the dangers of being too nice.
Summary
00:06 🧠 Need for Connection and Being Real
We need to feel close to others and to be true to ourselves.
02:50 🛡️ Hiding True Feelings
Kids may hide how they really feel to get along or to fit in. This can make them do things for others too much or not know what they really want.
04:18 💔 Knowing When We're Not Being Real
We feel bad inside when we're not true to ourselves. Ignoring this feeling can make us sick. Problems can help us think about our lives and grow.
🔍 Key Insights Discovered:
💔 The emotional price of always pleasing others.
🌪️ The danger of ignoring your own needs and boundaries.
😖 The link between being 'too nice' and stress, burnout, and resentment.
💪 Relationship and self-care strategies for maintaining healthy, balanced relationships.
Dr. Gabor Maté will share his knowledge, personal experiences, and practical recommendations to help you find a harmonic balance between kindness and self-preservation.
Don't miss this chance to learn the value of setting boundaries and prioritizing your own well-being. To stay connected and enlightened, click the "Like" button, subscribe, and enable notifications.
🔔 Credit and connect: Very Special Thanks To Dr. Gabor Mate
🌐 Website: Website: drgabormate.com/
📸 Instagram:@gabormatemd
📱 Twitter: @DrGaborMate
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#dangersofbeingtoonice, #ExcessiveNiceness, #PeoplePleasing, #authenticity, #GaborMaté, #TooNice, #SelfCare, #SettingBoundaries, #AuthenticLiving, #Stress, #EmotionalWellbeing, #HealthyRelationships, #gabormate, childhood trauma,dr. gabor maté, dr. gabor mate, dr gabor mate,the dangers of being too nice, dr. gabor maté, the dangers of being too nice
Fockin sheit. This is me. So nice. Too nice. Always nice. Helpful, understanding, always willing to give up on myself, on my needs and caring for others. Now 46, suffering insomnia, fatigue, migraines, had cancer already at 32. Always tired, so tired that I almost don't have the strenght to move, and still ... forcing myself to cope, to be nice, to help, to work, to solve, to give ...
@Izabela Kaer, I am sorry to hear what you have been through. I hope things get better. The people who are dependent or near to you are blessed to have you in their lives.
That hurts to read. For what it's worth....I'm very sorry. The God in me senses 🙏 the God in you.
Buying love from others, and it never works. Instead, ralize you already are very much loved (the proof is that you are alive and supported by the universe) and from there start to give your love to all, including you. This way you never ever exclude yourself, and the body will start to heal because of this change in perspective. This is the love message for you. 💗
@@enaasica9109 💗 thank you, thank you so much
@@yourinnerchildmatters I had to cry, when I read your comment. Thank you so much ❤
@@izabelakaer9922 huge hugs for you dear. Keep going and be strong!❤💪
The problem with being too nice you can be exploited ,sharks smell vulnerable people and they eat you up. I wish I had listened to my inner voice 30 years ago.
They smell vulnerability
very true!
So true. Took me years to figure that out.
This is soooo me!!! And at 55, two years ago, I began my journey of healing. Starting my life all over again from scratch.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Glad to hear you are in the started your healing process! keep it up! bless you dear!
How can I start my life again..is it possible?I’m a woman of 56 years old.very lost and wounded..
@@mercyshanthi9555 I am sorry to hear what you have been through. I hope things get better.
You have to connect to your true self. If you haven't discovered out how to connect with yourself, living is a difficult and frustrating game. Because contentment is not a function of what we get or how people see us. It shapes our identity, manner of life, and moral character. Others may take away all of your "things," but they cannot take away who you are. You must develop self-love if you want to live a happy life.
Sending hugss to you dear and bless you...
❤🙏
Thanks a million for your reply😘will try to follow what you have advised..have Been always criticised by others including my close family members right from my childhood..abused by many in different manners..it has really taken off all my confidence but since I’m a believer ,I try to derive my strength and identify from the creator.God bless you for helping people to live their lives.
@@mercyshanthi9555 bless you more dear ❤
For 40 years I lived my life pleasing others, and had little benefits out of it. People move on and forget how we helped them, unless substantial. Many do not even realise we are helping them.
Help others but take care of your needs first. This is the lesson I learned.
Very well said. Thank you so much for sharing your insight about this, Bless you and your kind heart.
Wow this really resonated with me! A lifetime of being a people pleaser, putting everyones needs before my own... cumulated in a chronic disease that took years to get over. I still struggle with self love and care but I think I'm in better place than I was. More recently, two friends stopped talking to me because I put my needs before theirs... first time I ever stood my ground and said no, I can't do that... and they walked away, called me all types of things, caused so much pain and guilt but it made me realise that they weren't my friends in the first place and they were using me the whole time... it was a painful but necessary lesson to learn.
I went through this as well. But I see how freeing it was 🎉🎉
Thank you for sharing your experienced to us, it means a lot! I have been there too, so much guilt and pain, everyday is a learning and discovering. Bless you dear!
@@yourinnerchildmatters 🙏
They aren’t your real friends then! All healthy relationships are give and take.
@@soniathegemini1593 thanks for your thoughts, bless you
And its UNFAIR, because we didnt chose to be like this. Someone important to us weren´t giving us the attachment we needed, at a crucial time in our formative years. Which makes us seek it as adults - in a childish way (please love me, give me attention). When we realize this imbalance later, it creates anger, anxiety, depression as an extra punishment. BUT what I didnt understand for many years, I understand now; Learning to love yourself is absolutely possible and it WILL make you stronger and not rely on others for basic emotional needs. Which in turn will make you contribute much more to others, than you have ever done before. Just by being the true authentic YOU. 🥰
Very very well said! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Appreciated!
mmm, this profound ass truth right here tho🎯
🔥❤️🔥💯🔥❤️🔥
Good, but that would be still good if you all could read his books and see what he says about coregulation and the attachments, we can learn and together grow to a more functional path.
@@RodrigoLaiho7 thanks for sharing your thoughts. Glad you got copy of the book.
Good analogy
This is me, and I'm working on myself, being self aware. I'm by myself most of the time. Self care, being selfish. Someone told me I should volunteer, no I literally have done that most of my life. I had plans to do something and someone begged me to spend time with him. I had to keep my promise to myself. For me. I said no, I meant no, and I had the best time.
I have volunteered twice in my life, once for a youth club and once for a charity. I got thoroughly used both times. Never again.
This was excellent!! "Being nice is a coping mechanism" through lack of attachment. This is profound for me.
Glad to hear! Thanks for watching!
To avoid BURNOUT, I’ve really had to check my motive in everything NICE that I do for other’s. If it’s to look like a wonderful, kind, Christian…then I’m gonna pay for it, in stress, my body, my precious time, sacrificing relationships…!!!
But if it’s to bring GLORY to God, cause He asked me to do something…then the RESULTS are up to Him. The worry of other’s opinions are gone, and there’s a huge PEACE❣️😁 My STRENGTH will be given from the Lord to accomplish the task❣️
Thank you for your kind words. God bless you ❤🙏
I have spent my life being nice and "catering" to others putting them first and me last. I am so exhausted I have lost ambition and motivation. Spent almost two decades in addiction. I'm finally coming out of it and standing up for myself looking into career change and taking care of myself first before others. It feels strange and selfish to do so but I see now it is a necessary step and I am learning as I go. Thank you for some insight into why I behaved this way it makes sense now.
thanks for sharing your thoughts. Bless you and your heart. Im glad you are reconnecting to your self, its not too late. Life is YOLO, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, enjoy and go with the flow.
When he says "many people are very nice by suppressing their own needs", I'm thinking that is true for so many women, especially moms! More than men, I think...
Very true, because as a mother we
took on the stresses of our families
and our husband and we felt guilty
that we couldn't ease the stresses of
our families.
We are expected to cater to everyone else and put our needs last. Yes.
Correct
Comical. Men work themselves to DEATH. literally providing for those they love. 100’s of millions of them. Get over yourself with that self absorbed assumption
You obviously didn't look closely or holistically at all the "nice guys" in your life.
Also, the shadow manifestation of the caregiver is the overbearing mother who coddled her children thus made them into incompetent and infantile adults, so they'll never leave her.
Attachment is so important, and that's why neglect is the worst form of abuse.
thanks for sharing your insights, bless you!
God gives us special people like this Dr. He is such a blessing for us with his knowledge and compassion for humanity.
Very true!
I have always been way too nice and because of that I have been taken advantage of, been bullied, suffer from depression, have anxiety, and have such low negative self esteem. Everything that is described in this video has been my life. Every time I speak up for myself I get told to be nice when that was my being all of my life
thanks for sharing your experience with us. Sorry to hear the difficult situation you been. Hope you are ok...sending hugss to you dear... bless you and you ❤🙏
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you
@@annetteslife they get and got used to you being nice... it will take some time to getting used to you speaking up! But they will, just dont change your position. Many people try to find out your borders, they do something (bad) and if you dont make clear that what they have done is not ok, they will just keep doing it and/or increase the level. Then they take you being nice for granted... hope u will feel better, stay strong 🩶
@@someone-bt5lu everything thing you had said is very true. Thank you
Yes, lived my life like this due to an invisible childhood, and it was/is still a hard road finding back to me, knowing what I want (and not) when not having a voice was all I knew.
thanks you for sharing your experience. Bless you dear! ❤🙏
Could listen to this man for hours, always hits the nail on the head
Same in here! bless you
My favorite aunt was the nicest person I knew,she had a long life,but I have to say that she lost her only child,and kept being very nice,especially with me❤️❤️❤️❤️
Bless your aunt and you ❤🙏
The main reason why I spend so much time alone is that I find that in order to be myself I have to be by myself, and I’d rather have peace and be able to be honest and be myself than to have the constant irritation of people’s thoughts and beliefs, which creates stress from constantly having to either live a lie and put on a performance or to fight them off and push back against them.
Very well said, thank you for sharing your experience and your insight about this topic. Bless you dear ❤🙏
This is not only an individual mostly female problem, it's also a national collective trauma of the modrrn age. As females adjust and learn to love themselves some men are becoming angry, resentful even violent because they now have to spend more energy and time fulfilling there long list of demands in order for them to eck out some compassion for the other. Sad but 🙏🙏
Great observations. My neighbor is narcissistic and uses the “nice” word about people toooo much. My ideas: dresses can be nice, some pets are nice, people are kind. Kindness comes from the heart? Kindness maybe to truely help someone; nice is to make yourself feel better? Nutrition for your thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! appreciated much!
Been there, done that. This segment of information is the truth of what happens to us when we don't listen to our inner voice - we suffer the consequences.
Agree with you!
Yes I’m guilty of this and it’s like one’s life is on hold till everyone else is happy
Your not alone, i experience too. Bless you and your heart
So well said. I know the feeling so well. Thank you.
I’m kind, but never take it as a weakness.
Best ever talk and helping us understand that this is what life is all about. I know this for sure. Let go of mistakes and fear and trust your heart.
Very well said, thanks!
Thanks for sharing. Knowing the prevalency of narcissism, I try and make an inner judgement of others in how I determine if I want to know them more . If they can look at themselves objectively or not, is a big determining factor as that ultimately reveals a lot in another person. We all should have the right of self determination, and our indiscreet judgements can help us invaluably. Dr. Gabor, you are a wonderful voice of reason. Thanks for sharing. A person's maturity should be based on their ability to be self objective.
Vert well said bro, thank you so much for shing your thoughts. Highly appreciated! Bless you
Gabor you are a scholar and a blessing to humanity
Yes indeed, he is!
I think the problem with overly nice people is that they are subconsciously seeking seeking validation/approval or they're trying to cleanse a guilty conscience for something they did in the past or some type repetitive pathological behavior they know is wrong but continue with it. And unfortunately others can take advantage of this. That's just the nature of selfish people, they use the best parts of human nature for their own advantage, no matter the cost to others.
That is what the teaching of holy men is all about. The word submission is a repeative word in the coming kingdom of god who by the way is preparing the HELL (not SATAN, imagine that) for the disobedient, stiff naked children of the world. Yes god bless us all 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, much appreciated. Bless you dear 💗🙏
I have given up my personal power through being co dependent. Wish I would have realized this before it was too late.
Bless you dear!
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you.
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you.
I’ve NEVER felt that internal knowledge! The loss of important relationships when I tried to take some time for myself has been my only sign that I wasn’t being authentic 😢
hope you are ok. Bless you dear ❤🙏
Ok nice to learn about the problem but where’s the solution?! Tips.. next time please include parts of these pearls that he expresses in his conferences!
Solution is to be mindful and if in doubt walk alone, its best for your sanity.
Me too, always bent over backwards to help people my whole life and I still do to this day. one time I travelled far to stay with my sister-in-law while my brother got over a heart attack, doing the shopping, gardening, travelled 45 minutes there and back every day for a week to visit bro in hospital, fast forward 4 years and I bent over backwards again to help out while my bro suffered with cancer, shopping, gardening etc. Then the dreaded call that he was dying in hospital so I gathered up my relatives and rushed down to exeter (England) to be at the bedside, after the enevitable I stayed with his widow ( whilst back home my own wife was suffering with mental ilness distress ) drove my sister and sister-in-law and nieces anywhere that sister-in-law needed to go to do formalities.
Shortly afterwards I was cast aside by the whole family and had a charecter assasination job done on me.
Other numerous so-called friends have crapped on me over the years who I have gone out of my way to help.
My only friend that I have is my beloved wife of 40 years whom I adore.
I'm 65 and I have just 1 friend, my Wife Sandra.
That hurts to read. For what it's worth....I'm very sorry, to hear what you have been through. I hope things get better. The people who are dependent or near to you are blessed to have you and your wife in their lives. God bless you and your wife Sandra for being so kind to others...
❤🙏
So sad to hear but its called natural selection. In order for the selfish to survive the unselfish is given up at the alter. That is why Jesus was the person who died on the cross at 33yrs old and childless. Many of the prophets lived to a ripe old age and procreated enough to fill the earth 👨👨👦👦
Can't help been nice its way I was brought up...
And I will never cease to be human
Dr. Mate', using photos to convey your message lifts the ability to connect to the multifaceted information you share in your talks. (Especially when the subject matter requires an ability to embrace, take-in the message.) Thank you.
Well said!
Life is trying to wake us up and sometimes needs to kick us hard.
When this happens, we can either complain or we can look more deeply into ourselves. Clear seeing is everything.
Very true !
So incredible the way this men explain what happen, I was always traying to figure out what and why I act in certain ways.. thanks to his work on the book I finally can see more clear. But how can we heal afther we can see our own Trauma??
Thank you Dr. Gabor your work really have an impact in our lives
Yes, indeed he really have an impact in our lives. Thanks for watching! Bless You!
When you feel an emotion come up you try to grab on to it and try to get someone or something to change it or you push it away either way it stays in the body .. relaxing and letting it go helps the emotion dissolve away.
very well said. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. bless you
I wanted to be able to experience being an art student when I had supported my husband for 15 years- he still couldn’t trust me and he stalked / harassed and pushed me to seek a lawyer . I lost the house and custody of my son - alienated and blamed - my life never recovered as he played victim and married a hateful woman who wished I was gone . Only thing that comforts me is that God knows the truth .
Thank You for sharing your experience, i know how difficult that for you especially losing the custody of your son. Hope and pray everything will get better for you. As you said GOD KNOWS the truth, i believe you will get what your heart desires and deserved. sending hugs to you. Bless your kind heart dear, dont loss hope. Be strong for your son! ❤🙏
Yeah basically when we are nice, we get shat upon. Especially when we live in a world of phycopathes.
Learn to read people before letting them enter into your space; it's your space. Somehow we trust the wrong people from not having strong bounties then all hell breaks loose.
Then we have to relearn and do on and so on and so on. It's so exhausting.
That is true, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Bless you
I think of myself, without anything really, of being a roadblock. Because a roadblock is a rebel without a cause, but it's your best teacher.
thanks for sharing your insights
It’s all very well but nowadays our lives are complicated and difficult. It feels like an overindulgence to find ourselves as we truly are.
Very true, thanks for sharing your thoughts to us. bless you dear 🙏
Thank YOU, for sharing your thoughts and experiences on being "too nice"! The content hit the bullseye for me....thank you again, sir!
Bless you ❤🙏, thanks for watching!
You might become a helpful individual which is a ‘coping’ pattern not ‘quoting’ pattern. I ❤Gabor Mate, he is an amazing speaker.
thank you for your thoughts! bless you!
Thank you
Yes, in Arabic this internal voice is called the fitrah, we need to tune in. Thank you for this ❤️
Shokran ❤
Yep, gut feeling is always right.
Byron Katie
I need your Love.
Is that true?
I need my love is more like it.
Ultimately, what was true for the child is no longer true for the mature adult. He or she finds love within. We are all called upon to grow up and seeing and acknowledging our coping mechanisms is a beginning.
We are all doing it to ourselves, either being authentic or betraying ourselves in exchange for the approval of others, for security or pleasure of one form or another.
Thank you dr Gabor. I've just listened to this, and it's changed my life.
I am glad it helps. Thank you for watching and
I hope you can get the copy of book 📚The Myth of Normal: amzn.to/3UHiUeQ
My narcisist parent told me I was too nice but yet he abuse me. I was able to tell him how I felt all these years and that I forgave him.
Many relatives were angry because I didnt go to his furneral .I refused to here how great he was etc
He was flawed.andso I chose to forgive him and free myself. I love my family where they stay. I love the peace and the Grace and Mercy Christ has given me
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal and meaningful experience with us. Coming to terms with the complex nature of a relationship with a narcissistic parent needs great courage and self-awareness, and your story is really inspirational. Your choice to face your parent about the abuse you experienced and to forgive him, not for his sake but for your own, show your perseverance and inner strength. It's a very personal decision that demonstrates an admirable amount of self-love and healing. Regarding the situation with your family and your decision not to attend your parent's burial, it is important to prioritize your own healing and well-being over external expectations. Everyone's journey is special, and you made the decision based on what you thought was best for you. It reflects your sincerity and dedication to seeking peace and love in your life.
Remember that forgiveness is a journey, and it is more about letting go of the hold that past pain has on you than it is about approving the behavior of the person who hurt you. Your love for your family, as well as the sense of peace and grace you've discovered, are lovely manifestations of your inner improvement. Thank you for taking the time to tell us your experience. It serves as a reminder that healing is possible, and your courage can inspire others on their own paths of self-discovery and forgiveness.
Wishing you continuous peace and grace on your journey. Bless you and always take care of yourself 💫💕🙏
Thank you 😊 💓
thanks for watching, bless you!
Learning things like this about people I love is priceless. Yes about roadblocks. Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it thanks for watching
This knows the truth 🎯
But it is possible to be genuinely nice and kind and don’t look for attachment but when you need help you see the don’t have 1/10 kindness.
more GOLD . I don't even know what to say. I'm crying as his voice literally touches my soul 🙏
the words are almost secondary .. amayzin
thank you very much ❤🩹❤🩹❤🩹
so.. rage is the 'drama' of anger ... @@yourinnerchildmatters
Love ,the most difficult things are most compassionate,
This rings true for me. Thank you Dr. Gabor
thanks for watching, bless you dear
Really good thank u for posting -just bought the book
wow thats great. I hope you will enjoy and learn a lot of things from the book, as I do! bless you dear
When you too nice you become a people pleaser.
thanks for your insight.
And, nice folks remain godly folks....never become hateful like the enemy, just avoid at all costs
@@MONEYAINTATHANG100 thanks for sharing your insight. appreciated much! Bless you
Thank God for Gabor Maté ❤
thanks for watching 💖
Take care of yourself first.
Very true!
I changed my mindset. I always look at the bad in person first, then the good. I test them. I think to live my life like l am a millionaire. Always demand Respect.
thanks for sharing your insights.
So we'll explained, Dr. Mate
Thanks for watching, bless you!
Carl Rodgers springs to mind. Person centred authenticity, unconditional authenticity. But! that’s if you are a trained counsellor. Create a the bridge of authenticity. All humans have it but some times it needs to be brought out in you for you to realise you have it in you. The genuine feeling of respect for another human.
thats right!
In this video, Gabor Mate explains how we all experience a sense of betrayal when we are not fully ourselves. We can detect when we are being authentic or not. Some people experience an internal voice or sensation that they are betraying their true identities. Because of this, when we are not being real, the body also communicates with us. The body begs for you to stop as it talks, whispers, and finally screams. The "blocks" we encounter along the route are actually the most lovable aspect of ourselves informing us it's not the right path; doing so helps us reconnect with our genuine selves.
Thanks for watching. Please dont forget to LIKE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE! It means a lot to me ❤🙏🙏
I could listen to your wonderful voice the whole day long ❤ it has to come from a such deep place sweetheart
Thank you so much for listening 🙂
Not being myself gets draining after a certain time, takes off the inner peace and then comes the floods of thoughts.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, bless you
Absolutely amazing and essential truths in this video.
Thank you❤️
Glad it help 🥰❤ Thank you and bless you dear!
I have been too nice for most of my 70 years. Now I’m a nasty piece of work but only to people who have shown me they’re not worth being nice to!
thanks for sharing your thoughts, bless you 🙏
I was raised to be nice. What did i learn from it? Everyone hates me. I get taken advantage of. Treated with contempt. Noone fears retaliation from a nice guy- so people run you over whenever they want. In the end, i realise life sucks and i find most people despicable. Women are the worst.
I'm fluctuate between being too nice and too mean. It's weird
There are worse things in life then being nice. If it kills me then I'm us.
How do you get back in touch with your feelings and needs? How do you know what they are?
It's hard to be true to yourself. People outside of ourselves can try to influence or interfere with our wellbeing. People can attack others because they are insecure, have low self esteem, or are jealous of what others have. I have found this to be so in my life. I'm in my sixties now.
thank you so much for sharing your insights about this topic, i appreciated it very much. Bless you ❤🙏
The moment you try being not nice for the purpose of taking care of yourself people around you start saying you're hateful and that you don't have God in your heart. That you're a hypocrite.
That is true.
Love this. Thank you 🙏🏽
Glad to hear
excellent clip. The subtitles are way off on many parts and desperately need to be fixed
im sorry for that
Dr Mate has very young voice, it's pretty weird knowing that he's actually around 80.
Indeed ❤
Thank you❤
You're welcome 😊, thank you too 🙏✨💖
Wow!!!!!! Thank you!!!!
thank you dear for watching. Bless you
Thank you!
thanks for watching, bless you
I needed this
bless you dear ❤
Take care of you first.Practice saying NO to others..People will take advantage of you if you don't learn to define your boundaries and say NO!
thats very true, thanks for sharing your insight. bless you
Kindness is a weakness to the vast majority of people
thats true, thanks for sharing your insight. Bless you
Always try to be kind and considerate. But look after your own needs as well. You can't pull someone else up out of the ditch, if you are are down in the ditch yourself. All of the best of the World's best scriptures, have phases that read something like 'love your your neighbour as yourself.'
thanks for your beautiful insight about this topic. Aprecciated very much. bless you ❤🙏
🙋🏻♀️
Being too nice and being an addict can happen at the same time. And on top of that, depression, sexual abuse, OCD, ADD, and more.
MORE U MORE Perhaps humor and laughing can help us to get back in touch with ourselves.
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Words of true wisdom, thank you❤️🩹
The shadow manifestation of the caregiver is the overbearing mother who coddled her children thus made them into incompetent and infantile adults, so they'll never leave her.
I even had my former boss tell me that I'm too nice.
You nailed it Gabor.....
thanks for watching! bless you
I like being nice because it feels good to me. Fuck off if it pisses anyone off. When people are extra nice I am very careful with them you don't want to piss of people like that. Think of a dormant volcano.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, appreciated
🤣 im the exact same! When people tell me im too nice or that i shouldnt apologize i tell them fuck off im doing what I want. It's pretty lame that when people display kindness because they believe in it that there has to be some authority figure coming out of nowhere to say "ah youre a people pleaser and youre going to get cancer at 50 and die because youre nice to people". Lmao
@@noosy530 thanks for sharing your thoughts. bless you more ❤🙏
@@yourinnerchildmatters anytime sweetheart 😁💎
@ruby. That’s not what he is implying. He is simple saying if you are being nice to the point where your inner soul doesn’t want to do something or an action that seems to be kindness is a people pleaser. On the other hand if you feel good about doing it and it is in line with your soul that is true or authentic kindness as opposed to fake kindness. Fake in the sense that you feel obligated
Being too nice exposes vulnerability in most cases. After living almost a full lifetime one Life lesson has been learned. Be careful of nice people and don't trust them. Remember Pablo Escobar was known as a very nice man. 😉
Thanks for sharing your insight...
Repressed feelings will one day break free from our inferior mental functions.
It will hunt down the individual until he/she does not become authentic to self.
thanks for sharing your insights. Bless you
Amazing
thank you!
Everything Mate said here was correct, but he would've never labeled it "The Dangers Of Being Too Nice". Dr. Mate never used the word "nice". He mentioned "people pleasers." Are you trying to share Gabor Mate or are you trying to make this about having less compassion rather than more compassion? Please don't be one of those asses who try and make being nice a bad thing, some by changing the meaning of the word altogether. Also: Doctor Mate never blames anyone for any behaviour; he's only working on you alone whoever YOU happen to be.
Although I could be wrong. No harm intended.
Good comment.
Being “TOO nice” is what is being discussed here. Too nice literally means people pleasing
@@essjai5D Good thought; I understand the difference may seem anywhere from minimal to no existent for you, but there is actually a difference; being nice is a positive state of being. Being a people pleaser is a self destructive coping mechanism.
@@essjai5D But that’s not true. People pleasing is not the same thing as niceness. You can be kind while still being firm. It is kind to not give an alcoholic a bottle of liquor.
Also, a lot of the problem is not that the person is too nice, but that they are nice to the wrong person at the wrong time.
@@Paolo8772 thanks for your patronising comment sir. English is my first language thankfully, so I do know the difference between “nice” and “people pleasing”. As per my first comment we are not discussing the issues of being “nice”. We are talking about what in means to be *TOO* nice. In *this* context it is clearly being defined as people pleasing. If you don’t like how it was worded, just admit you’re being pedantic and call it a day, instead of turning it into some moral point
Thanks for telling us as adults ❤🎉we knew we we’re different 😂😂😂🎉🎉❤❤❤❤
Embracing our uniqueness is what makes life colorful and exciting! 😄🌈 Thank you for being a part of this wonderful community!🙌❤️
Love ❤️
The captions aren't correct
Sorry
and if people didnt respond "nicely" to my niceness id get upset over ..what I thought was more rejection...its like i put in the effort why cant you. But through this vid ive learnt its my problem ..Ill remember this msg throughout my daily interactions..
Im glad this clip will help you! Bless you and your kind❤🙏
Subtitles are incorrect at some points
Im sorry for that
After hearing all this about attachment, how do people in general look at themselves in the mirror and know that there are people so alone and so scared without anyone to protect and comfort them, people do not do anything about it. This is where mental health problems start. Yet, no one talks or does anything about it.
thanks for sharing your insights, bless you!❤🙏
No worries about that...I am not nice...my parents were worse. Niceness is heritable.
Bless you🙏
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank u..same to u!