why I'm NOT frugal (as a minimalist)
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- Опубліковано 8 чер 2024
- I used to be someone who wasn’t very good with money. I spent every single penny I had on clutter that I * FOR THE MOST PART* didn’t need and ultimately ended up getting rid of. I was so concerned with “not having enough” that I overconsumed my way into both an excess of belongings and a scarcity of money.
But I’m not frugal.
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If you're new here, welcome! I'm Madi, creating videos about minimalism and slow living every Tuesday or Wednesday. In my videos you will see my minimalist home, my capsule wardrobe, decluttering, inspiration for slow living with kids, intentional living, minimalist finances, things I no longer buy, things I no longer own, things I buy more of as a minimalist, and just overall my passion and inspiration for simple living!
#minimalism #money #frugalliving #minimalist
why I'm NOT frugal (as a minimalist)
Chapters:
00:00 my journey with minimalism & money
01:05 why I'm NOT frugal
01:41 thoughts about debt
02:18 healing your ideas about money
03:41 level up your clothing
06:24 level up your food
06:56 travel & experiences
07:29 investing in YOU
07:35 therapy & mental health, self-worth
07:50 our external environment affects our internal environment
08:20 what's next after you begin minimalism
09:59 outtakes
DISCLAIMER: Links included in this description may be affiliate links. If you purchase a product with the links that I provide, I may receive a small commission. However, there is no additional charge to you. I appreciate your support!
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Love the “living this life on debt and payments is not freedom.”
I was the girl buying all the clearance items. Getting the “most” for my money even if I didn’t totally love the clothes or things I was buying. Then feeling like my home was overcrowded with average things that didn’t bring me much joy. Well years later I’m simply suffocating under all the stressful stuff that fills our tiny home with baby #6 coming in a few weeks. I found your videos this spring and my “spring cleaning” has been going on all summer into fall! My mindset has shifted so much and I’ve donated and thrown out piles and piles of stuff! I’m breathing a little easier and the kids and my husband have all gotten on board too! There’s more to do in our home but I’m so thankful for all these videos you’ve made to help lead me on this beautiful journey to minimalism and slow living. I’m half way through reading The Minimalist Home by Joshua Becker! Just thank you.
God Bless you on the coming coming little one I am a mom of 6 but the are adults now . They range in age from 35 to 27 .I homeschooling them and made a our food from scratch. We werwert overwhelmed with toys , but we did have tons of clothing seeing we live in northern New England ,we did have seasonal clothing changes , but we had way too much everyday attire . A fellow homeschooling mom told me of a friend of hers who had five kids . The kids had five outfits each and an outfit for church. I had never heard of such a thing and I also heard from another mom of 4 who politely declined some of the kids outgrown, but still in beautiful conditiond clothing. Thinking back I wish I thought to question them about the small number of outfits , had I limited the clothing , I m8ght have saved myself a lot of work. Hindsight is 20/20
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In Germany we have a saying, if you buy cheap, you buy it twice.
My husband calls it "the poor man's tax"
Interestingly, what you said about emptying your life of all types of clutter and feeling the emptiness really struck a chord with me. I recently retired and I’m feeling that emptiness, and letting that process happen feels calming and good. I don’t know what my future will develop into, but this calm quiet feels like giving my authentic self a chance to be heard.
Love this, I can just feel how bright your future is!
I love this!! I’ve learned my love language is feeding my family and having a home full of good food. I’ve budgeted for once a month costco trip and stocking up on essentials and love having the opportunity to do that because of my budgeting and staying within my means (only recently!!) it’s been a slow process!
Thank you for normalizing this kind of lifestyle. ❤
I used to be frugal, but I now say I am a intentional spender. I no longer buy things just cause they are on sale, but decide to invest in quality where it makes sense. I appreciate the message.
I just moved and I’m doing a deep purge of a lot of stuff I’ve been accumulating over the years. It’s nice to walk out in my garage and see the walls and floor and not stacks of boxes and bins. I always thrift and buy second hand but I love your point about buying quality new items because your worth it! Especially the food!
I'm in tears. This was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm going to beeeeeeg my husband to get me your course for my birthday. I have a condition called Lichens Sclerosis and I feel like it's robbed my womanhood. I want to live life to the fullest but constantly live with guilt and scrambling to figure out who I am so I can be the best wife and mother to my two little ones. I'm feeling very confused and lost. I do have confidence in the Lord though and I feel like He lead me to your channel. Thank you for this video and all the others. I have watched them all multiple times.
Also, your videos always feel like a giant warm hug. ❤
Hi there! I have it too but in my mouth. It heals with time, don’t worry. Purslane helps. Turmeric, antioxidants, vitamin c, b vitamins especially folic acid. Also it can be from chronic inflammation from a pathogen, so very good hygiene and getting lots of air and circulation. Vitamin D and sunshine. Try to lower your stress levels, yoga and meditation has helped me. Get good nutrition and exercise. You got this, just let your body go through the process it needs too and don’t fret, all will be well.
I can confirm all of these things are helpful in battling inflamation related conditions and I wish you both the best of health and a speedy recovery for Kay!
@@obsidianbutterfly2857 wow thank you so much!
@@pinobluevogel6458 sweet! Thank you!
So good to hear your voice again, Madisun. Always calms me right down. I have been really struggling and do not have a home for myself right now. I was very much in love with my last home but because it needed work and my landlord was not going to keep it up I decided to leave. Life took an unexpected turn and I have been living with family members for over two years now after developing chemical sensitivities from buying a brand new home. It’s been a wild ride. Heartbreaking. I could really use some prayers that I will find the perfect home that I can call my own again soon. One that I feel healthy in. I always always look forward to your videos. It’s bittersweet but they make me happy and hopeful for the future.
This is so timely! I realized at the beginning of fall that I wasn’t going to use the internet to be my only source of “information “ and finally spent time to track down professionals and experts to help me navigate those areas in my life that were not working. And they hadn’t been working well for five years! Spending money outside of your health insurance was it. Not self diagnosing anymore and finally building lasting relationships with people who know what they are talking about has been the most fulfilling thing I have ever done for myself. Your videos always contain such sound advice and wisdom Madi. I love them!
I'm not garbage, I don't need to take trash from others... Huge lesson in my life. From refusing to sit on fastfood trash in a friends truck, letting go of hoarding boxes, and not accepting the broken trash of others on Buy Nothing Groups... Huge shift in mindset for me. I still thrift, but very mindfully... Treasures only, no trash, and only things that are needed and enhance my minimalist quality of life
Question about your 10 item wardrobe. Do you still find yourself having to wash the things you wear after one wear? Because only having 10 items, do they wear out faster having to wash so often?
completely agree with what you’ve said on not thifting clothes anymore, for a long time that was the only way I shopped as I felt so guilty about how many clothes there were already in the world but found myself not liking how anything fitted on me as it never felt right and always well worn in but not to my body, since investing in better quality clothes from new makes me feel so much better and confident which in turn makes me feel I can do good in the world in other ways
I love all the ways you aren’t frugal, I relate to them for sure! I got rid of 90% of the things I owned almost a decade ago and wow did it change my life! I love what you’re sharing, I’m continuing to learn from you!
Clicked on this so fast! Thank you.
I love your videos
Your videos are always inspiring! Thanks you for the reminders of what’s important.
I relate a lot. It was nice to see a new video up!! I watched it twice to listen extra carefully. I totally like releasing things. It is so wonderful to do.
I resonate with this sooo much! A quality life is 🤌
Yay a new video!! Thank you for your wisdom ❤❤ sending love!
This was such a timely reminder as I'm looking ahead to the new year. I recently saw a video where a psychiatrist was talking about the trauma related to survival behaviors like "dumpster diving" and chronic thrifting. Sure, it can be wonderful to rescue something valuable and antique from the landfill, but your point about the impact that this has on your self-image is so poignant. It's important to evaluate the motivation and energy behind our behaviors, especially if they are praised as being "frugal" or "thrifty". We run the risk of making ourselves feel cheap in the process.
Yes!!! This so resonates with me. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your thoughts, experiences, and practices around money. ❤
Thank you so much for talking us through this. It was very clarifying. Especially growing up in a family that being frugal was so highly praised. It still feels hard for me to buy really nice clothes and not feel guilty about it. I'm so grateful for you and the way your journey is helping mine. I really like your shirt. Would you be up for sharing where you got it?
This was powerful, thanks Maddie... I think I need to watch it again!
This feels like it comes 100% out of my current brain! Doing exactly this shift right now and realizing how wonderful I can feel. Thanks for the inspiration and you go woman! ❤
Thank you so much for this video 🥹 I needed that
I love and appreciate you so much Maddie! Thank you❤😊
Absolutely loved this video and agree. I don’t want the fast fashion or home decorations. I’m so thankful for your channel🤍
I really liked this. I just scheduled an appt at a ND today! Here's to health and wholeness.
"It feels right to live a life that's meant for you" that's good
Madi, I missed your gentle influence on my life these last few weeks. X
A lot of power in this video Madi. A lot to ponder and think about
Needed this thank you. I do keep grabbing those free items from the side of the street or thrift stores. I grabbed a couple shirts today - when Im simultaneously, continuously telling myself I deserve the nicer things, I want the nicer things, I feel better in the nicer things etc. Thanks love, shift made! 💙💛💜
Love your videos Madisun ❤. You inspire me thank you ❤
I appreciate that you refer to the origination or etymology of words. Words are incredibly powerful, honestly they are "spells" - we spell out words.. words are casted spells. We become what we think. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
This was great! I love this mindset of abundace❤❤❤
Thank you for your wonderful words and amazing work Madi!🧡 This summer I quit my well-paid job for the sake of a simpler, deeply satisfying life. Thanks for empowering us women to take these important, life-changing steps!🙏🏼 Warm hugs from Germany to you!
I watched this twice because it had so many little nuggets that I want to think about. 💜❤️
What a great video, sweet lady. I'm so glad to see a new generation of young mamas taking this approach to life. Really enjoyed this.
thank you dear Madisun - timely as I am packing up to move into a lovely new home - which needs only what it needs and not more
Great insight. Also import to remember wages have also not increased in alignment with record profits and inflation. That is also a huge factor. In addition to the burden of medical debt. It's easy to blame just the individual.
Agreed. A lot of debt isn't in fact consumer- it's education, and (for the US), medical.
LOVED this video!
I like to think of our bodie as a vessel (like a wine bottle) - of course we want to decorate it! We might want to change its shape - just be cautious of when we focus on the vessel at the deteriment of the spirit inside
I always get so excited to watch your latest videos. What you share on here is so counterculture in the best way. I align with so much of what you said and also felt called higher, thank you. This video reminded me of 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, thank you for being an example of not just living a quiet life, but finding joy in that way of living.
You are already changing this world ❤
This is so sweet. Thank you ❤️
Yes! 💯 I’m 64 years old Madisun and I regard myself to be an intelligent human annnd I’m subscribed to your videos and always look forward to them buuut today’s video…🎉💡epiphany!!! Thank you!
I really needed to hear this, living a life full of abundance. Less over more. Quality over quantity.
Hi lovely lady! Great video. Really resonated with me. ❤ Thank you!
Just started the day wt your video. Thank you sooo much.
Love your videos. ❤ I look forward to them every week. Would love to hear more about your diet. I have struggled back and forth with veganism but trying to find balance. Sounds like you have struck that balance. Would love for you to share more. Thanks for your beautiful content. It is a fresh of breath air in this world. 😊
Love this ❤ Thank you
I really liked what you said about not thrifting anymore. I’ve been an avid thrifter for the past 20 years at least, but I’m feeling less and less of a pull to go thrifting. Honestly, with all the fast fashion out there, I feel like it’s getting harder and harder to find quality clothing at the thrift stores anyway.
Well said!
I made the same shift as you, I was always buying second hand but now I take Time to chose high quality stuff that will last longer and that I will care for!
Thank you for this video.❤
Thank you for your support!
Great video! I agree!
This video is just ❤❤❤
love your voice love your videos!
Thank you!
Love this ❤ has helped me have a boost.
I could of nearly purchased so many items online .because it was easy to, or they pop up on your social media, but then thought I don't really need them.. they are nice but I have them already.. just in a different colour or style. So it is definitely helping me make better choices and not keep adding because I want it. The better quality items over more cheaper.❤
Will you be doing any Christmas videos ?
Even slowing down at Christmas .. by not saying yes to every gathering.. or booking every event. Xxx
It's a long process but thank you.
You are wise beyond your years, Friend. 😊
YES 100% to all of this!!
Great video ❤
Lovely video Madisun :)
ACT YOUR WAGE..... it's helped me throughout my journey with you.. and in my everyday life.. if I cant afford it, I can save for it or I dont really need it..
its like, when I see a drawer full of junk, I remember, what would Madisun do?
I have an injury that slows me down so I do one drawer at a time.
ive done my main bathroom and cleaned out my laundry already.. and it feels sooooo good walking into these spaces of declutter..
This needs to be hears by everyone in America. Thanks for sharing 👍 ❤
Thank you!
*heard not hears 🤩
I loved this video! It’s true that you have to spend money to make money. And money spend on your health makes you the richest person, because if you ain’t got your health you have nothing. ❤
I’ve started doing this myself ❤
would love to get there and allow myself to buy new nice cothes made ethically and environmentally friendly. Iam a single mom of two and so far made it to eating healthy foods. Keeping the kids away from accumating clutter with toys and spending money on these spontaneous wishes and souvenir stuffed animals and too many Legos its a working progress
you need a certain financial stability to start this lifestyle though bc things cost more to start with and its a bigger risk, bc we don't know how long will your child like the more expensive dress for example or toy...
This was exactly my point in the post I made, the financial stability seems like a challenge.
However in the other part: In my humble opinion, you can never have too many legos ;)
Kids truly learn a lot from building with it and it will keep them entertained for years on end and it basically is virtually unbreakable so lasts forever.
Thank you, Beautiful Girl! I feel the same about clothing. No more second hand. Like you, I invest in lovely, ethically made clothing, mostly from the Swedish brand Gudrun Sjoden. Pieces with a Boho vibe in natural fibers. Key is eliminating retail therapy -- I seek long term contentment over a short term buzz. You are very wise. ❤❤❤
Thank you for this video. ♥♥♥♥♥
I don't sacrifice my happiness, being intentional with everything I do like having clothes I like and going out to eat with friends when I want. Basically less, but better mindset.
I love the narration and stories of the video, but it did not answer my questions. I was more interested in how you could spent so much of your time living slow and still was able to survive in a comfortable life.
The country I live in is cheaper (in terms of food / rent / necessities) but still, me and my partner both have to work for us to live our life in reasonable comfort and afford everything that we need. Don't get me wrong, we are comfortable for the time being, we have no debt at all and some savings. But working less, or even thinking about raising a family in a similar slow style, seems rather impossible unless I somehow land a job with crazy good pay outside of my current line of work.
It almost seems like how my parents raised me is a thing of the past. My father was able to support a family and a house on a quite normal job, with normal hours, while my mother was able to stay at home and take care of both me and my brother. It always felt like the best and most supportive childhood anyone could ever wish. And now it doesn't seem like my generation or the ones after it are able to do this anymore. Don't get me wrong, we both work hard at what we do, far harder than my father ever did (if what he told me was true), but the times have definitely changed in that hard work no longer pays more, it is just a requirement for any job these days.
I have to give you my respect for how you guys handle it and not give in to the 'rat race' of our society and economy, but it seems like a very challenging thing to do for sure!
Love your videos Especially when you said just because it’s a bargain or nice doesn’t mean we need it
Im guilty of hunting for a bargain at charity shops probably have a little problem with it as I shop for things that still have the original tag that my children can grow into or I want
I don’t pick things up off the road though that’s a bit yucky and I’ve never been into nails or hair in England we have charity shops and if there’s something I want I generally look in those first if can’t find it I will buy new obviously I don’t buy everything from charity shops but a lot and sell it or donate it once the children have grown out of it or I no longer use it xx
Thnx❤
Yes & amen!! 👏🏼👏🏼
Beautiful Video :)
I really feel what youre sayin
I’ve lived in a self build 7m tiny house with my partner and little toddler for the past 5 years ❤ it’s allowed us to save up a 25% deposit on land and start building our dream little eco home. Living this way has shown us we have no interest in having excess rooms because we’d just have to fill them and clean them. I love the quote that’s something like ‘we hold the inventory of all our families stuff in our heads’. I feel that. I’m constantly de cluttering and I’m also moving away from fb marketplace finds and second hand unless they’re basically new and a brand I know is high quality. I have a Pinterest board of stuff I want to buy and i put it there while I mull over whether to purchase or not. I don’t hold onto stuff I don’t like, wear or use… I allow myself off the hook and donate or sell it.
Also thanks for the inspiration, watched this vlog then rampaged the tiny house and chucked out 2 bin bags worth of stuff for the op shop!
How has minimalism shifted your mindset about money?
Minimalism has changed my life, but it has been an ongoing journey. I still have a lot to learn.. I have to remind myself it took 30+years to get to where I was… it may take a few years to get to where I want to be. As far as money goes, I think being minimal in my purchases helps me have permission to spend when I really want to. The money is there because I didn’t blow it on something frivolous.
Madisun.... Your videos are so inspiring! Where are you? Are you taking a break?
I spent almost my entire life either going through trauma or carrying it...this past year and a half, your content has truly helped me transform my life. It opened my eyes..to my own heart because so truly connected with yours and what you share with us. You are leaving a legacy and helping so many. Happy to see a new video today❤
Where is your bed frame from? Sorry lol love the video!! 🥰
I agree with what you said about focusing on restriction with food rather than health and abundance, and how it doesn't lead to a healthy relationship with food. But at the same time I keep going in circles trying to understand this. If I focus on eating tasty nutritious food rather than tasty junk, it still translates to a feeling of being restricted in my mind. Like "I can have this but I can't have that" - which makes me want it more. Did you ever experience this? If you did, how did you get past it?
I would say - eat healthy most of the time and eat unhealthy sometimes. In this way you will not feel restricted. It works for me. P.s. in case you eat a lot of unhealthy now, try to reduce it slowly, not in one day.
What advice do you recommend for people who already have lots of student loans?
Loved your perspective on thrifting! I've always felt that way but was never able to put it to words. By the way, is there any way to get the Wholehearted Journal without a credit card? I wanted to buy it since it came out, but was so disappointed to see the site only took credit cards...
Debit cards are accepted :) Thanks for the comment
Can you share some brands for quality clothing? 🙏
Do you have any what I eat in a day videos?
First, great to see you "back". This has been such a hard topic to deal with and be more observant of. I know D. Ramsey talks about a zero credit score, and I respectfully disagree. Most people need a good credit score to rent an apartment, to buy any car (used or new) or even get Internet from a company. I don't say this to be argumentative, just to say you can live the vision you are sharing and still have a great credit score because you are being financially responsible without total frugality. Enjoyed hearing your thoughts on this topic and ways you have implemented it. Thank you for sharing!
I respect that
Could you do a video on Christmas gifts? I want to get my kids all the things, but I know that might cause more stress in the long run. How do you go about Christmas gifts?
I have some ones from last year 👍🏻
While I love your philosophy in general, I’m not sure it applies to home owners in modern days, it wouldn’t be attainable without borrowing money… at least where I come from
I watched a video from Paper Town Home (I think that is the channel) yesterday on the 10 item wardrobe. I have been hooked on the idea, but there are boundaries because I live in extreme temps both winter and summer. She talks about overcoming the obstacles. I shifted my wardrobe yesterday. This might be a topic idea. Ask for obstacles people have and give solutions to overcome them.
She lives in California where most days are lovely. Easy for her.
Thanks for the idea
@@conscioushomestead I know that is the struggle I find with most people who do the 10 item wardrobe. The YT video I mentioned tried to answer some of those challenges even though she lives in a similar climate.
@@MadisunGray I’ll start with the struggles. 😉. I live in an EXTREME climate. It can be over 100 degrees in the summer, but -30 (-50 with windchill) in the winter. We can have a 60 degree temp shift in a single day. Our highs might be in the middle of the night and our lows at 3 pm. One or two layering shirts will not work in the winter. You will smell badly. My huge struggle is 1) what counts as a core piece and what counts as an extra? 2) how many extras is too much? For winter you have to have a minimum of two of each (so 10-12) just for layers and that is just under pieces and things like scarves, hats, gloves, boots, and coats, etc.
@@angelamelum4304 Maybe don't worry too much about the exact number of items that you wear, but about the functionality of the clothes. If you need summer or winter clothes, you will need them. In your case, those clothes are a necessity. Its the same for people that leave in really rural areas, they will need a car to get anywhere, while I can get by with just owning a bike and having a trainstation in walking distance.
Just keep everything you absolutely need and figure out your 10 item wardrobe for the clothes you wear inside. This is not something that needs to be absolutely perfect, it is your life and you do whatever you think is good.
My husband is a teacher and doesn’t make a lot. I am unemployed and can’t find a job at 46. I have a 22 year old who has uncontrolled epilepsy with mental capacity of a 9 year old. I have about $230k worth of debt. My house is literally falling apart and the foundation is cracked making the walls cracked inside and the floor tiles breaking. I’ve had water leaks due to the plumbing being bad from said foundation issues. The house is 10 years old! Not under warranty anymore. My teenage daughter is acting up. Lying and failing school. I can’t homeschool because I do have to get a job and can’t stay home with her. I’m about 100 pounds overweight and blame it on the stress of my life. I have no control and no hope. Teachers make just over $50k a year. To pay our bills and survive is more than a little challenge right now.
All that to say. I adore your content. But something about this video really makes me angry. I don’t have family. My husband and I are both only children and we both grew up and escaped our parent’s abusive alcoholism.
I’ve been through hell and am still there most days.
Your videos usually inspire me. But this one got under my skin. Feels awfully privileged and sanctimonious.
sending you love
You have so much going on. I lost my little sister four years ago and have fallen into a deep depression, battling a shopping addiction and suicidal thoughts. I have a lot of struggles like you, my living situation isnt ideal and i have toddlers and a child with autism. Its a daily battle. Not everyone can relate because everyone has been dealt a different hand in life, but i try and focus on the small moments i can find happiness and peace in. Take care of yourself. Sending love to you n your family.
@@nattyophelia7879I appreciate this reply. It helps. Thank you.
I understand this is her lifestyle and what works for her and I accept what she is saying , but I Do live minimally and frugally due to having a large family and wanting to keep our large home, keep it heated and provide healthy food and be home with my kiddos, unfortunately ately not everyone is wealthy and we .are our own choices in life and have to work with what we have. I live in a small town where we have 4 food pantries and I know many families that have to visit them weekly just to eat. This is the reality of life. I pray for your family today.
You can easily get a fast food job, they’re always hiring. Your husband can get a new higher paying job or he can add on an evening and weekend job. He could also tutor. At this age for your daughter homeschooling would not be beneficial.
Hey Maddie, i don’t have kids and i’m not religious. Do you think the course is still a good fit for me? Thank you
Definitely. I think it applies to everyone ❤️
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❤❤❤
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vocal fry
Student loans are not extravagance.
Thank you for saying this.