@@OBITOMAJIN yes we are not the prize but we can make money at our own too if all we wanted was money. however you cannot change the feminine nature, it’s your job to take action if you want her and it’s not her job to chase you if she got rejected 😉
I tell my wife one of the things that made me like her a lot was our first interaction. I was given her number by a mutual friend and decided to call. When I called her I spoke to her for a few minutes though she was about to hang out with some friends. She told me she had to go, but told me “Can I call you back tomorrow?”. I said yes and the next afternoon she called me and we ended up talking for 2 hours. It was a really good sign for me.
@@BlackBoyKingTV Right! And either way...phone call is jr. high...he did say wife...I hope they f* and still enjoy each other's company...um...maybe a better ending to the dude's comment! Lmao!?
1. Overemphasizes Independence 0:30 2. Communication Is Inconsistent 1:32 3. She Avoid Making Plans / Cancels 2:28 4. Keeps Things Vague 3:23 5. Contact Is Transactional 4:30
The last two words of your comment reminded me of the Stormtroopers in the 'These aren't the droids you're looking for..." scene in the original 'STAR WARS.' "Move along....move along..."
@@thedoneeye I cannot believe I did not see that before you brought it up 😂 looking for 2 specific droids in Tatooine. That’s what dating feels like in 2025
I was in my mid twenties at university and a bit older than my peers. One of my female friends had a friend who is super attractive. I didn’t approach her that way, but she said we should go out a few times. So I invited her to a movie, organized transportation, and when it was time to contact her to go she went radio silent. After a while she contacted me, apologized profusely, then rescheduled. I was a bit miffed but decided to give her another chance. Days later the exact thing happened again. So at that point I completely cut her off because what she did was disrespectful. When I saw her on campus I crossed the street and ignored her. What really bothered me is that she was the one who suggested going out in the first place. So late one night I see her calling me, and she’s crying and saying sorry. I let her know how I felt, accepted her apology, but never trusted her again and didn’t ask her to do anything because she clearly wasn’t into me that way. She was just a very attractive woman who enjoyed the attention she got from me. That sort of thing stings, and really stays with you.
At least you did the right thing and didn't eventually "tag" her a few times and get attached and have to realize the same thing the extended way! Try that in your 40s! LOL $ting$ SO GOOD boye!
I would've jst confronted her about this n told her she has massive issues when it comes to attention. I'm pretty sure she was also with more than jst yourself, but the moment they dumped her ass or moved on to someone better, she came crawling back to u.
Just had similar happen to me at 50yo. She was blowing up my phone and texting me nonstop for the first 10 days. I don't like phone or text communication when meeting someone, its not real life and cant see body language to gauge the context. First date, she felt insanely fragile and by the end of it was obsessing over her ex who hurt her badly. I put the brakes on, and if her brother hadn't asked me to date her, i would of ended it there. Tried to tell her lets revisit this when your healed up, but she saw that coming and interrupted me while i began to say it - couldn't handle the rejection. A few days later, she asked for another date, i agreed, we set a time. When that date day came, she had some work catastrophe occur and acted like she didn't even remember she had set a date. I believed she really ended up at her office though straightening out a mess. And, i let it slide. (shouldnt have, but i did) She asked for another date a few days later and again we set a time - tomorrow after work to catch a bite to eat on her way home from work. Im retired, so times dont really matter to me. And again when tomorrow came, she didn't remember and couldn't meet up - too tired.. (that was it for me). She apologized a few times, but i just heard excuses. I stopped replying to her messages, and if she would have called i wouldn't have answered. 2 days later she messaged me that she was dumping me. Had to heal, wanted to know if i would be interested in trying to pickup up where we left off. I shouldn't have responded. But, i did, told her her flaking was disrespectful af and i shouldn't, but because of what she is going thru, and knowing her brother, id entertain the idea. Haven't heard from her since. And im not gonna reach out to her. I'd bet she's been thru three other emotional support men since. Glad i shut up about myself and about my life thru all our contacts. Something was screaming to me, to keep distance. She basically walked away knowing nothing about me. i learned she was a complete wreck. She thought she was a 9 because of looks, though i saw her as a 3. Intelligent, but dumb. Drug history, emotionally wrecked, anxiety, ADHD. From me, she wanted a distraction, attention and validation. Which is not my job. There was nothing in there for me. Know your value gentlemen.
Yep it happens with attention seekers or potential gold diggers who are scouting a guy. Similar story happened to me but you learn and start to be more attentive of women of not just what they say but what they do.
There is a girl who wasted years of my life and almost everything in this video applies to her. I can't say it was her fault, as it was mine for tolerating it. She eventually blocked me out of nowhere and now I'm left with the feeling of shame because of how I allowed myself to lose my dignity chasing someone like that who never loved me.
Yes, been there, done that. It took me eight years to see the light. I always knew that *I* would have to give up on *her* for the truth to sink in, not the other way around, and that's the way things eventually turned out. Yes, she breadcrumbed me for years for her ego's sake, but here's no bitterness. It's entirely my fault I stuck with this absurd illusion for so long. We all have to own up to our immaturity and, somehow, transcend it.
A lot of us have been in the same or similar situations. I hope you're not too hard on yourself. I once dated this gorgeous woman for a year. It was an open relationship (that she wanted). I kept hoping it would evolve into something more. It eventually did. She told me she loved me and wanted a commitment, but there were so many red flags, mostly that she was emotionally unstable and had a drinking problem, so I backed out permanently. I get to shoulder some of the blame for tolerating a style of relationship that I was never completely on board with because of good chemistry and sex. Lesson learned.
@@JasonMarshMusic We all have to learn that both men and women are lost at sea when it comes to these relationships. We don't know what we want, let alone how to get it, and the only way out is through. The results can be tragic, though. I guess I should count myself lucky overall, but in dark hours I realize how I essentially lost eight years of my youth chasing a phantom. That's painful to accept - no wonder I spend so much energy repressing this realization.
He learned a valuable lesson do not let it get you down. It’s a steppingstone in life. Make sure you value yourself and you do not accept disrespect with that. You will find the right woman.
hey man I really don't blame you. I felt that way many years. especially through my 20s. I'm 33 now and recently met someone. I've been dating her for 7 months now... it's been my longest relationship ever. I feel like I got incredibly lucky but I feel the pain of not wanting to approach women because we're smart and know they all waste our time. it's unfortunate as hell. sadly I feel like my current partner is gonna dump me as soon as she finds someone apparently better than me... ugh. sorry bro.
Guys listen this is going to be important... when someone is trying to use you... stop and think do you deserve to be used or do you deserve to be respected? Your self respect and self worth is determined by you! stop looking at women who you deem beautiful as a trophy and treat her like a person and see how she treats you! if she still thinks she's better than you or deserves princes treatment, drop her immediately and don't look back. you can do the opposite of everything she likes and have her eliminate herself as well! stop accepting leftovers and borderline abuse for acceptance for someone that doesn't want you nor respects you!
I think you're right about respect. Tell the girl right up front what you're about and what you want. Don't make it about her. Be polite but not kind. They respect that. Not sure that anyone deserves anything in particular.
A classic example is when someone takes a long time to respond to a text message about re-confirming plans for meeting up. A simple way to test whether someone is playing you is to send that text on the morning of the day before the scheduled date. If they don't answer you within 3-6 hours, that usually is an indicator they're not fully invested in you. Especially since most people check their phones several times a day (e.g. lunchtime), and the responses requires a simple line of text.
Learn from your doctor's (dentist's, etc) office. What do they always do when you have an appointment coming up? They call/email you 36/48 hours in advance [Morning of the day before, like you said] and ask you to "confirm your appointment." This is your last chance to cancel. Why? Because it is their last chance, if you do cancel, to offer that time slot to some other patient. And notice that they Do Not Play. If you cancel day of, or no show? They will bill you anyway, like they warn you they'll do when you sign that patient information packet. Now, of course, you can't really bill someone for standing you up. But, they set a boundary, they enforce a consequence, and so can you.
My last talking stage lasted 2 weeks of her consistently being responsive, multiple texts, invested in the conversation, etc. Then the day before our first date she just ghosted entirely and never texted again. Sometimes it's hard to tell if they're wasting your time, or just genuinely are putting on an act for the attention and then when it becomes time to make it official, they go on to the next person.
Seriously, most of the time they don't know what they're up to either. But if things don't work out with her, always remember this: You've just dodged a bullet.
for the future, what you experienced is most likely "love bombing" which is a telltale sign of someone who is not emotionally available. if it feels like the initial communication is too good to be true, chances are it is and at the very least you need to pump the brakes and lower your expectations so that the ghosting won't hit so hard if it happens
let just be frank, some of them do have issues in keeping the communication. That for the first 5 days, they will just keep messaging you left and right, until the 6th day they can just ghost you. It could be like some drawing in to their orbit technique, where if they resent your personality, they only have you as a CONVENIENT friend. Then there is also any flip side, you have dodged the bullet.
I was dating this girl, she told me she met someone and is engaged after two months, She said I dress well, have a great sense of humor, but that I am too intelligent for her. She would rather be with someone in which she is the smarter person in the relationship. I looked at her and said I already knew smiled and walked away.
I had my fair share of matches where the girl I was matched with would show these signs. When they are very attractive, it's much easier to let them string you along. But at the end of the day, if they're putting in no effort, you just got to let them go and move along. You'll find someone else who will show you mutual respect.
I recently went through this. I was dating a girl for over 2 months from bumble, I was exclusively dating her and after 2 months she started dating another guy as well from bumble saying we agreed to openly date earlier. Even after two months she was not clear, or pretending to be not clear, but wanted me as a friend. I stopped talking completely, but it sucks.
Very tough decision but it was the smart one for you. Do not feed her ego or give her ‘options’. In a nutshell, no one likes being number #2. You’ll be fine, brotha! 👊
@mikenelson8377 thankyou bro, yes it was painful. I still am in the process of healing as it's just been two weeks after the breakup. But I am much better now and just as you said, I won't be anyone's OPTION.
@@palashtrivedi5622 of course! My best advice beyond what I’ve commented: live your BEST life. You don’t need a girl to live your best life. Keep smiling, have a good attitude and things WILL happen ☺️
The last girl I was talking to was doing the over complimentary strategy, which I did some research some time ago and it is also called "love bombing". She kept saying how chivalrous I was, and kept wondering why I was single. While we talked, I eventually found out she had a boyfriend, in which they were in a back and forth situation (going to couples therapy, getting separated, etc.). So I realized all she was looking for was for someone else to comfort her, using that love bombing strategy. Even if she ended up being honest saying she didn't want to use me as a rebound, it still felt like she was playing me. There was a mutual click which we talked about later on, but I was constantly in doubt. I decided it was best to step back and stop wasting time.
It becomes your fault when you don't listen or cling to a woman with these bloody flags for too long...Courtney is right about making sure you get these hints and act accordingly!
@@danielthurber77 I get your point, but the problem is that most men are not AWARE of these signs. Which makes them fall prey to women who will either waste their time and or become psychologically abusive. It doesn´t help either that the majority of men live with a scarcity mindset and feel like they have no shot with women. Of course they will be easily manipulated.
You have to learn that words are a poor medium of communication. when she says "it's your fault" she may mean "it's your responsibility". Man's role in a relationship is to "conquer" the woman. "Conquering" is hard to describe, the woman will behave erratically and the man has to correct her. If man doesn't correct her "bad behavior" she will not correct herself. The tragedy of woman is this "bad behavior" is the way she evaluates man. Compounded to this natural process, the social-economical-cultural conditionings, like being trained by parents and corporations and state institutions to "serve the country" or "serve the family" or "to be happy is to buy, eat, consume" Imagine girls prepared since birth to be married only to wealthy man. Like a dog. So the fight becomes to destroy this conditioning, and liek, if you're not wealthy, how do you even get to decondition such a woman? Only then can you proceed to conquer her according to the natural process. Then there's the Diznification of women, legions conditioned through music, books, magazines, fashion, cinema and so on, that they'll be saved by a pure hearted boy who will fight dragons and sh1t to get the girl. Only to discover that "all men are pigs", aka there's no pure hearted boy anywhere in the world.. So you have to decondition this behavior also.
It shouldn't. The fact that a video like this has to be made says a lot about the average female. This should not be the default behavior for half the fucking population, it's insane. Women need to be held accountable for their actions, and that starts with men not being thirsty ass simps giving them everything they want.
Fellas it's this simple there are only two kinds of women Those who reciprocate and those who don't who only want attention to boost their own ego which is manipulative and toxic
Hey Courtney! I just want to say thank you for all the content. You have greatly impacted me. I’ve been learning French and this week has been a challenging week. I thought I was fluent, only to discover not yet. Then I remembered my favorite Courtney quote: “Slow and steady wins the race.” I’ve gradually incorporated this in all areas of my life: guitar, French, exercise, and more. You are making a positive impact on the platform and I appreciate the positive videos. I’m talking to a new girl and I’m going to remember what you’ve taught me about girls.
Recently went through this with a gal, the inconsistent communication and constant weak excuses to ever get together, and whenever we did make plans, she canceled w/o making an effort to reschedule. I pushed her away twice, and she would always reach out to “try again” and apologize. I finally just told her to lose my number, then she reached out again when I ran into her, she was butt hurt that I didn’t say hi. Tired of these fake females.
These are all excellent points. The short version: If she's manifesting any of these behaviors, consider the "relationship" at an end. If she isn't interested in you now, she *definitely* won't be in the future.
The girl I’m speaking to now, I’ve met a couple of times. I honestly think she’s absolutely out of my league totally. I really do. Yet every time, she’s always wanting to hang out and go out with me. If she is genuine, she will make that time with you!
When one girl didn't answer me after I asked her if she wanted to have a steak dinner with me, I knew that was my answer so I threw her number away. Last time I seen her she said something about staying in contact, but there was no way I was going to be doing that again. I got no texts back from her so I stopped sending her any.
Can we all agree that in order to maintain love you have to max out Respect for loyalty Loyalty for respect Trust for support Support for trust All of these are a must for love if you lack any of these you don't have love you have uncommunicated expectations
Completely spot on. I had to learn these things the hard way. I wish this video came out years ago. The problem is, about 90% of women are going for the top 10% of guys. Average Joe's don't stand a chance. We end up on rosters and friend zoned. It's a bitter pill because, as a man, you want to think that you have a lot to offer, and I think I and guys like me do, but they don't see it that way because their superficial. It's better to just give up, because even if you land one of these women, they will always look to move up.
If someone cannot bring themselves to MAKE the time for you now during the dating stage, then that's a sign that they are not for you. I understand that life gets in the way sometimes (we're human after all), but it cannot be getting in the way all of the time. And if life is getting in the way all of the time, then do yourself and others a favor, and get your life in order because time is going to continue move on whether we like it or not!
That's what happens when you give women a mobile device with the ability to contact every man on the fucking planet from her pocket. they have too many options and they all conflate men wanting to fuck them with them providing something of value. So in turn they ALL have this insanely large chip on their shoulder for absolutely no reason besides thirsty dudes want to fuck them, and they can get that type attention whenever and wherever they want. It doesn't benefit anybody and it's a net loss for society as a whole.
Other signs I would add are her affection is conditional. Meaning she’ll go out with you if you do x. Or she’ll commit to a relationship if you do y. Those are red flags that she’s not interested in you for you, and once you stop doing “x” she won’t be around. Another sign is her communication and conversations are about her. She doesn’t ask a lot of questions to know who really are. How can you develop strong feelings for someone if you don’t know them.
My ex showed all these signs. Didn’t expect this from an older woman. There’s so much to learn and understand for someone to have a successful relationship/marriage
Just recently met a girl online. We chatted on a dating app a number of times, had a few things in common. I asked her if she wanted to get coffee. She said yes, but wanted me to answer a question before the date. She wanted to know if I was looking for perfection or a model type of woman. I said I'm not looking for perfection or a model, but I'm also not looking for someone that's unhealthy and overweight. She blocked me after that, lol. I didn't get the impression she was overweight based on her online photos. I guess she was just insecure.
My money says she would never date a man that's unhealthy and overweight herself. Women often create standards for men that they never hold themselves to.
@@jeffyk99or she could’ve been a feminist… I noticed that nowadays women stand behind other women even if they’re not like them or they don’t agree and I think the reason why women do it this is because they don’t want to rock the boat.
If you give a woman attention and she is not giving you as much or more attention, she doesn't care about you. Never give more than you get because that means she is using you.
Very good and comprehensive presentation Courtney. All 5 signs are for real and common. We are at a point now where you can judge someone's real interest in how quickly they respond to your texts. Not because that's a good thing but because that's how the chips fell.
Another great vid, Courtney. I've had my fair share of these. Fellas, we need to understand that women who do this are looking for a "best" option. So our only choices are to bail or talk to a number of women simultaneously and hopefully get lucky. Yes, it's basically a gamble we either play or not. Because if she's looking around while talking to you, you should probably do the same. Now in my late 40s, single, no kids, I chose to bail. Don't regret doing so.
These are key points that I myself have fallen for not knowing exactly what's going on. Reflecting on them after the fact I realized that I was projecting my level of interest on to the other person. You have to be cognizant that your mind may tell you what you want to hear which then you will ignore reality in order to construct a different reality. I believe this applies to both men and women and knowing when to cut your losses (not be bitter about it) Just move on. Pay attention to what people do not to what they say. That way you can spend your time, effort and energy on someone who will be more receptive, reciprocate your effort and whom you can build something with. Great video great topic very well covered.
These are all incredible points. Really strange to listen to. My narcissistic ex after months of abusing me got together with someone else straight away and then gets in touch with me two months later saying they are getting married and moving in together and it's "true love". Needless to say over a year later and she's still contacting me. Also, they most definitely do keep you in limbo. She was telling me she loved me after the third meeting. Definitely no true commitment. No deep conversation about anything. There was no mutualism. Thanks for the great video.
JAN. 21st, 2025 - wow - your VERY FIRST POINT ("stressing INDEPENDENCE") totally hit home, as well as several other points you made. In my 4th month of being ghosted "again" (multiple ghosting periods over a 9.5-year "friendship") .... and she has stressed MANY times her "independence FROM MEN" after her 5-year divorce proceedings with her "Ex" (yes, it took that long for the court proceedings). I provided "Emotional Support" for all 5-years during her divorce, endured ZERO "intimacy" with her; but always thought there was "hope". Now I know better - thank you Courtney!
I run a successful enough to live off business, I go to the gym, I have hobbies, and I have friends. If I can respond to someone through text atleast a few times a day I just don’t accept someone is “too busy” to respond to texts or plans requests in a reasonable time. Easily one of the biggest things that will turn me off to a woman, because if I can do it I know you can. Tik tok ain’t that intense babe 💀
Thinking this man...ELON MUSK can send tweets! He is insanely busy. If ELON can send a tweet or a text NO woman on planet earth can make that claim of being to busy. If she says that she is a liar and playing you. I am too busy = I am too busy for YOU! Classic woman speak.
No connection is worth mistreatment. Plus it’s easier for me to have compassion for what people have been through when I don’t allow them to take it out on me, because hurt people hurt people.
very good perspective. way too much bitterness in the dating world. as you grow in compassion you learn that these kinds of people have not healed enough to be healthy dating material, and you can't hate them but you also do not let yourself fall into the trap anymore
My advice: dont waste time on female friends. And dont even try to be around her just because shes pretty and maybe she will like you more than others.... Ive done it so many times and I simply was a beta orbiter, wasted lots of time and noone of them care about me.
This is good advice. I’d say we’ve all been there at least once. I’m definitely tired of being the good guy for women who just use you and want the same type of losers over and over.
Since you asked, I’d had a really cute and friendly young woman approach me at work with some very strong flirtatious body language and a suggestion that we should spend time together outside of work. I got her number and one day texted her asking her out on a simple hike in a popular area in town. She responded affirmatively but before I could text back, she sent a text saying she already had plans and would not be able to go with me, not suggesting any alternatives like ‘what about tomorrow, this weekend, or any other time’. Just a bow-out and thanks for inviting her. So that’s about it for me. She’s the one missing out, and she’s not the only girl in town. A little disappointing, but also kind of funny.
Makes me think of some other motive , why approach you and at work? I think maybe a set up for work harrassment. But yes, the lack of interest and specifically not asking to make plans BACK and saying what days they are open is the huge flag. BYE! 👋
Since the last two three days I have been thinking about taking a few steps back .. And now after watching this video I am sure about it . All the points match in my situation. And I am not gonna keep myself letting down . Keep growing brothers !!!!
This describes where I have been. Teasing romance and sex, but being friend zone. P-teasing to the max. We broke up when I insisted on more commitment.
Yupp just had this happen to me. All of what you said, and a really good first date. Then blew off plans and came back with some BS excuse. Made good on another plan, but was glued to her phone the whole time talking to someone else. Like hey, if we're hanging out, you should be present. It's one thing to periodically check your phone or respond to something important, but to be sitting there typing out long messages over and over again is so unbelievably rude. Like if you have somewhere better to be, go do that and not waste me time.
Courtney, thank you for this information. It's like you are sitting right in front of me telling me this so I could get it. Every point you made is what I am going through right now. This has been going on for a long time. Frustrating.💔
First video I ever saw of your Courtney and it was really good. The only other thing I would add you mention she’s using your time and energy, but also your money. Another caution is when they never use terms of endearment.
Great info. These experiences are sometimes necessary for us to grow, and to learn what to expect from women in the future. Fellas, stop putting ladies who clearly dont want you, on a pedestal. Get high paying jobs, get cut and jacked, enjoy life, and don't be afraid to place these ladies in YOUR friendzone.
A friend of mine is stuck with a witch that made him cried already. For example (so you know) she literally compared family wealth 🤡 (You ser the level of that bitch). They stopped talking then she got back because she lacks of attention of course. We all told him to stop. He said she didn’t really excused for all she did, he sees the red flags but go for it anyway….
I learned this the hard way in my mid 20s chasing a coworker. Arms length, didn't take good natured ribbing well at all.... That experience hit me hard and in hindsight there were countless red flags after the first outing and date. Vs other girls who make it clear the first date they are serious.
I encountered something similar to this, but I should've been honest with her from the get-go. But now I've learned that lesson and also thanks Courtney for these five signs.
Been struggling the past 16 months with a girl who has essentially been doing all of these things for a long time now. It hurts a lot and has been really hard to accept that someone who you see so much in just doesn't feel the same way anymore. Either way, thank you for these videos Courtney. I randomly discovered your channel recently and it has been comforting to listen to your videos about this sort of stuff.
I am dealing with a girl right now exactly like this. Called her out, and told her we should just be friends until she has ready for a relationship. She was clearly stringing me a long. Although we are supposed to be just friends, she is still talking to me as if nothing changed, and I don't want to ghost her because that is immature. But like, the more she talks to me the more I am starting to have feelings for her again.
I am in a similar situationship with a lady doing the same thing. I think she's amazing but she is doing several of the things in the video does not value my time, does not go out of her way at all to plan or do dates. Its hard moving on when you really like the lady but she's just not that into you. I don't even want to really remain friends because I like her much more than that. But the constant disappointment and stringing me along is hard on your health.
She is currently hitting me with time delays, pull backs, silent treatment, flaking, inconsistency, manufactured mood swings etc. When I fall back and get on with my life, she leans in and acts real nice. The funny thing is, she isn't fooling me. I'm not falling for these games. If anything, I am losing attraction and getting the proverbial "ick"
Thank you Courtney, really needed to hear that today, i was in a very similar situation at work, not in a romantic way, but was more like a one-sided friendship. Because of that, i figured out that in my life i was always searching for validation from others, specially woman, long story short, freeing myself from those toxic relationships led me to feel peace and relief in my life, and into a journey to love me more.
Important things: 0:29 First Thing ÷ Overemphasizes Independence; 1:31 Second Thing ÷ Communication Is Inconsistent; 2:27 Third Thing ÷ She Avoid Making Plans / Cancels; 3:21 Fourth Thing ÷ Keep Things Vague; 4:30 Fifth Thing ÷ Contact Is Transactional; and 5:56 to summarize all the told here. What you have told there Courtney is so true. Sometimes we notice things, sometimes we don't notice things. These games such as hot / cold, I call it yes / no games. And what I mean by saying this is that person is one day interested in you, one day is not interested in you; after a couple of weeks the person is showing so called interested again, and again, and it won't end. We all generally don't have games not just in 2025, but we don't have times for whole for the games, since time is very valuable resource that cannot be compensated. Use it wisely. I also notice that showing no interest in serious relationship is when some people do seek if someone is rich or poor, in financial way I mean. I'll explain what I meant by saying this. I meant that some people (either is men or women) are doing things to see to get very big amount of money, no matter if the rich person has good or bad intentions towards them. Also is not just money in the mind, but it's also constantly se* (24 hours a day). Honor exceptions to those who don't seek just either money or se*. I understand that the money and se* are important, but these things aren't the priority, and they shouldn't be a priority. The priority are following things: understanding, trust, support, respect, dignity, commitment and acceptance. I don't know about you dear people, but I as a gentleman, I don't prefer to have se* with no commitment. I also agree that it cannot just always have to be 50:50 like you said Courtney. It can also be finding a compromise which will be good for both sides. You have to look at the deeds, since deeds will say many things. So simply, just watch the deeds, and not the words. Also be relaxed and just go with the flow. When I was listening to you Courtney I remembered one thing one quote what Nicola Tesla told. He told this: "Sometimes the most is achieved when least expected." Meaning sometimes when you don't expect thing they will happen (in the positive way I mean, since it did happen to me that). I can also say that what a coincidence that we both upload videos on same day, Courtney. Thank you very much for your wisdom Courtney 🤓😎🥰❤💙🤍💓.
I'm literally right there rn. I've been in a relationship with this girl for 2 years, and she's been saying that her personality needs space since the start, but she's the one determining when we spend time and calls me needy when we don't, even if we hadn't done anything for a week or so, and it's just always so tense and feels like i cant say anything. but whenever i feel horrible about it she comes back and showers me with love even if i said something wrong. everything makes so much more sense now, im gonna wait a week or 2 to see if it gets better since she's been taking social space from me but hanging out with a friend (shes not cheating i know that) so we'll see i guess. but a lot of boxes were ticked here unfortunately if anyone reads this, don't end up where i am.
Men need to understand that a woman who TRULY wants you will do everything she can to be with you. Just like you would if you found a woman you fell for. Always think logically, with the head on your shoulders, or you’ll get what you deserve. Played.
The problem is when they do this after treating you like shit during a relationship, so you break up with them just for them to realize the fucked up and start giving you the attention they should have been giving you the whole time. and as a man you have to take that and walk away from it. I really don't think people understand just how hard it is to be a man sometimes, and situations like that just add to it.
I felt like shes talking about me😆 I do this all the time to avoid any men misunderstanding that Im into them. I also clearly say that Im not looking for relationships! we need to keep the distance to avoid getting close to someone you are not into!
I'm a girl, watched this in order to see where I tend to act wrong, since don't want to treat anyone unfairly Recognized myself in certain patterns, thank you for pointing them out, I'll continue working on myself and getting rid of the harmful inclinations :)
It's such a great video and quite educational, I must say. Not only we can apply this knowledge in the romantic settings of our lives, but also, doing an adequate stretch, in our relationships in general. Phenomenal!
Thanks. I've experienced what you take about. This video is just perfect. I told her to stop chatting me. She's not ready for a real connection, she's comes online and her visibility status shows online but she doesn't create time to chat with me. Even up until late into the night.
This game playing advice is true. What I found surprising is that women in their 40's and 50's do this also. I thought by their 30's women develop class and integrity, not still in high school.
part is I was in a relationship and I did not realized I was being played after seven months in it ended I've learnt a significant amount about what I should look out in a person that has great qualities and those to avoid. I won't lie I was frustrated and sad but chose to cut off all ties. to allow myself to move on and prioritizing myself and my dreams. moving forward if I do end up in a relationship I want someone who can make themselves happy whilst still enjoying my company and im able to focus on what I need.
Thank you for another brilliant lesson. I had a "cold" mother who never bother about my opinion, and all my relationships with women were the same unfortunate ones.
These were all signs that I failed to pick up on, but recently I discovered why. I listened to "The Body Keeps the Score" and it has helped me understand and work through my emotional trauma so much. Highly recommend it if you have ever felt burned in relationships or have difficulty expressing your emotions. You absolutely CAN have a good healthy relationship if you are willing to do the hard work on yourself.
Ugh this vid couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. I started finding myself falling for a girl at work who showed results in sales goals and we just shared similar work ethics I thought. I ended up running into her a few times and we actually shared some similar views and vibed. I would start teasing and throwing jabs and she would just laugh at all my jokes. I was always afraid to make any big moves though cause we were coworkers and I was afraid to get in trouble. This continued throughout the year as I slowly got more invested in her and she seem to in me where she started coming up to me when I was hanging to myself at work and even coming with me to an event. One day I went in she started bringing up how I don't look my age which means she spied on me cause I never told her but since then I think she gave up any interest she might've had because just before Christmas I got her to talk with me all engaged like we do in the break room and I got her to indirectly confess that she thinks it's weird for a guy at her other job who's about my age to be asking this other coworker about her age out. The message was pretty clear. She even leaked she was dating other guys recently but that they were weird. So I guess I've been played. The cherry on top was I decided to surprise her with a little gift for her efforts to try to dethrone me from top sales with this Christmas competition. She tried so hard so I gave her a surprise gift to which she responded omg! I'm totally going to get you something now! ...to which she never did. Kind of depressing but I guess I need to start walking home rather than taking just a step back. Easier said than done.
The inconsistent communication was killer. I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt because she's a mom and worked a lot of OT. But it took me too long to realize that I only mattered when her other options weren't around. I'm doing a lot better with that situation now but man that destroyed a lot of my confidence.
I've been through these 5 things way too many times, it's gotten to the point where I won't associate myself with women unless she has a man and he is there to be in the conversation with us
Its funny, I was going to write about my situation, but I realized that even if I am being played, at least I'm choosing who I get played by. It feels like 99% of people in general are just playing games, but we've been talking for a long time, and I have specific reasons to believe that she is being genuine. Everyone's situation is different, and it's up to you to determine if they are being genuine or not. Someone actually being very busy and very independent, while working on themselves, doesn't mean they aren't interested. Its when you know they aren't busy and independent, but they tell you otherwise, that is when you cut it off. I think the real key here is that she is willing to have the hard conversations about trying to understand what is wrong and how we can find a solution, on both sides. Open and honest communication, along with understanding and patience, is the only solid foundation of any relationship.
great vid. on point.If anyone wants to take it a step further, educate yourself on covert narcissism b/c the ability to identify one can save you needlless suffering. Covert narcissists can be men or women and they can make relationships a living hell. No way I'm falling got that again.
I just gone through a hard breakup. A few months ago, my five-year relationship ended, and it has been really difficult. I can't seem to get my ex lover off my mind, and I still love him a lot. Nothing I've tried to get him back has worked, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. Although sharing this here may seem strange, I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
Thanks to your useful information, I just looked him up online. amazing Father Obah Eze is really sincere, based on my online research. Once again, thank you ❤
Theres nothing to say. Only text to setup a date. And don't talk on the phone with her for more than 3-5 minutes. Your too busy. If she flakes on the date, or you don't have a good time on that date, block her.
I need to keep saved in a list so i remeber all this for when she comes back in 3 months or so. Its not that i didnt know all of this, its more that Its so easy to you know, wanting to forget when things starts to look up again, and then you know what happens.
Fellas, listen to this. Stop chasing women who don’t care about you at all.
Just stop chasing them all together bro lol success an money brings them to you they aren’t the goal or the prize.
Quit being Negative.
@@OBITOMAJIN yes we are not the prize but we can make money at our own too if all we wanted was money. however you cannot change the feminine nature, it’s your job to take action if you want her and it’s not her job to chase you if she got rejected 😉
@@MrTJMaddoxhe’s not wrong though, if someone doesn’t care about you, you shouldn’t do things for them .
@@MrTJMaddoxhow is that being negative ? If a woman doesn't care about you why would you waste any time with her ?
You deserve someone who deserves you. if she is recently out of a relationship and is not over him. Avoid. Opinions are my own.
Agreed
You can always trust in delicious spam. SPAM never let's you down.
It doesn't even have to be recently if she is α-widowed.
yeah lowkey it's kinda messed up instead of women just being Straight up they resort to this sneaky manipulative Behavior
@@CourtneyRyan Funny how you can complain about women, but men cannot. Sounds a little fascist.
If you’re always the one initiating contact, move on. She isn’t that into you.
This is probably the single most important advice I've had to self-learn the hard way.
This. And I hate that it took me as long as it did the figure THAT one out. 🤦🏻♂️
Same applies to anyone, regardless of sex.
@@MattKittredge2112 ...but you did learn that very important bit. Not everyone does.
True, but there's a cultural difference.
Korean women (almost) never initiate.
I tell my wife one of the things that made me like her a lot was our first interaction. I was given her number by a mutual friend and decided to call. When I called her I spoke to her for a few minutes though she was about to hang out with some friends. She told me she had to go, but told me “Can I call you back tomorrow?”. I said yes and the next afternoon she called me and we ended up talking for 2 hours. It was a really good sign for me.
Awesome, very natural flow. You took action and she followed
I'm sure that was 30 to 40 years ago and not between 2014 to 2025
@@BlackBoyKingTV Right! And either way...phone call is jr. high...he did say wife...I hope they f* and still enjoy each other's company...um...maybe a better ending to the dude's comment! Lmao!?
You better try the lottery cuz with that luck you'll probably win
Calling her instead of texting her first was probably huge for her too
1. Overemphasizes Independence 0:30
2. Communication Is Inconsistent 1:32
3. She Avoid Making Plans / Cancels 2:28
4. Keeps Things Vague 3:23
5. Contact Is Transactional 4:30
Thank you Recap Ruben! You are God sent
True that! Nice break down! Thank you!
It’s only a 6 min video….i don’t think we need chapters posted from you to “help us”. I think we can watch a 6 min video.
Not all heroes wear capes 👏👏👏
I always check these posts to see if the video is worth listening to. Thanks!
Why is nobody mentioning the book Magnet for Women from Cryptic Lore? It’s such a practical guide for understanding attraction better
thanks
If you’re not a priority at all, she’s not interested. Too many dudes chase women who are clearly not interested. Move along
That’s also why so many men are no longer “chasing”. Too few rewards in between attempts so not worth it to many.
They really need to teach the blackpill in schools, to ensure that the sub5s like myself don't do this.
The last two words of your comment reminded me of the Stormtroopers in the 'These aren't the droids you're looking for..." scene in the original 'STAR WARS.'
"Move along....move along..."
@@thedoneeye I cannot believe I did not see that before you brought it up 😂 looking for 2 specific droids in Tatooine. That’s what dating feels like in 2025
@@LordVader5738 You know dating has become difficult when even Lord Vader tunes into Courtney's site for tips 😉
I was in my mid twenties at university and a bit older than my peers. One of my female friends had a friend who is super attractive. I didn’t approach her that way, but she said we should go out a few times. So I invited her to a movie, organized transportation, and when it was time to contact her to go she went radio silent. After a while she contacted me, apologized profusely, then rescheduled. I was a bit miffed but decided to give her another chance. Days later the exact thing happened again. So at that point I completely cut her off because what she did was disrespectful. When I saw her on campus I crossed the street and ignored her. What really bothered me is that she was the one who suggested going out in the first place.
So late one night I see her calling me, and she’s crying and saying sorry. I let her know how I felt, accepted her apology, but never trusted her again and didn’t ask her to do anything because she clearly wasn’t into me that way. She was just a very attractive woman who enjoyed the attention she got from me. That sort of thing stings, and really stays with you.
The dilemma for us all because we are so attracted to them. In the end, all they want is attention.
At least you did the right thing and didn't eventually "tag" her a few times and get attached and have to realize the same thing the extended way! Try that in your 40s! LOL $ting$ SO GOOD boye!
I would've jst confronted her about this n told her she has massive issues when it comes to attention. I'm pretty sure she was also with more than jst yourself, but the moment they dumped her ass or moved on to someone better, she came crawling back to u.
Just had similar happen to me at 50yo. She was blowing up my phone and texting me nonstop for the first 10 days. I don't like phone or text communication when meeting someone, its not real life and cant see body language to gauge the context. First date, she felt insanely fragile and by the end of it was obsessing over her ex who hurt her badly. I put the brakes on, and if her brother hadn't asked me to date her, i would of ended it there. Tried to tell her lets revisit this when your healed up, but she saw that coming and interrupted me while i began to say it - couldn't handle the rejection.
A few days later, she asked for another date, i agreed, we set a time. When that date day came, she had some work catastrophe occur and acted like she didn't even remember she had set a date. I believed she really ended up at her office though straightening out a mess. And, i let it slide. (shouldnt have, but i did)
She asked for another date a few days later and again we set a time - tomorrow after work to catch a bite to eat on her way home from work. Im retired, so times dont really matter to me. And again when tomorrow came, she didn't remember and couldn't meet up - too tired.. (that was it for me). She apologized a few times, but i just heard excuses.
I stopped replying to her messages, and if she would have called i wouldn't have answered. 2 days later she messaged me that she was dumping me. Had to heal, wanted to know if i would be interested in trying to pickup up where we left off. I shouldn't have responded. But, i did, told her her flaking was disrespectful af and i shouldn't, but because of what she is going thru, and knowing her brother, id entertain the idea. Haven't heard from her since. And im not gonna reach out to her. I'd bet she's been thru three other emotional support men since.
Glad i shut up about myself and about my life thru all our contacts. Something was screaming to me, to keep distance. She basically walked away knowing nothing about me. i learned she was a complete wreck. She thought she was a 9 because of looks, though i saw her as a 3. Intelligent, but dumb. Drug history, emotionally wrecked, anxiety, ADHD. From me, she wanted a distraction, attention and validation. Which is not my job. There was nothing in there for me.
Know your value gentlemen.
Yep it happens with attention seekers or potential gold diggers who are scouting a guy. Similar story happened to me but you learn and start to be more attentive of women of not just what they say but what they do.
There is a girl who wasted years of my life and almost everything in this video applies to her. I can't say it was her fault, as it was mine for tolerating it. She eventually blocked me out of nowhere and now I'm left with the feeling of shame because of how I allowed myself to lose my dignity chasing someone like that who never loved me.
Yes, been there, done that. It took me eight years to see the light. I always knew that *I* would have to give up on *her* for the truth to sink in, not the other way around, and that's the way things eventually turned out. Yes, she breadcrumbed me for years for her ego's sake, but here's no bitterness. It's entirely my fault I stuck with this absurd illusion for so long. We all have to own up to our immaturity and, somehow, transcend it.
A lot of us have been in the same or similar situations. I hope you're not too hard on yourself. I once dated this gorgeous woman for a year. It was an open relationship (that she wanted). I kept hoping it would evolve into something more. It eventually did. She told me she loved me and wanted a commitment, but there were so many red flags, mostly that she was emotionally unstable and had a drinking problem, so I backed out permanently. I get to shoulder some of the blame for tolerating a style of relationship that I was never completely on board with because of good chemistry and sex. Lesson learned.
@@JasonMarshMusic We all have to learn that both men and women are lost at sea when it comes to these relationships. We don't know what we want, let alone how to get it, and the only way out is through. The results can be tragic, though. I guess I should count myself lucky overall, but in dark hours I realize how I essentially lost eight years of my youth chasing a phantom. That's painful to accept - no wonder I spend so much energy repressing this realization.
He learned a valuable lesson do not let it get you down. It’s a steppingstone in life. Make sure you value yourself and you do not accept disrespect with that. You will find the right woman.
No shame my bro! Learn, move on and be alone until your next lady is a responsive and romantic woman that you deserve!
I am in the early stages of a relationship with a woman like this. This is the sign to end it ASAP
Make it so. The wasted years soon add up, trust me.
Run bro! Don't get breadcrumbed at least...no matter how good the sex is too!
Yep. If you're here, it means your gutt knows what your heart doesn't want to admit.
You’ve answered your own question, move along bro 👊🏼 💪🏻
Do it for yourself
I've only experienced girls who play me like this. Have learned to not give them the time of day anymore. Good vid.
There's a lesson in there but you keep missing it. What's the lesson? it's not to throw the towel.
@ the only girls that have even entertained me are those women. I’ve only ever experienced rejection otherwise…and often times extremely harshly.
@@Anime1love You don't even know what he's been through so I don't see how you think you're qualified to conclude there are lessons to be learned.
Great recognition to change your philosophy.
hey man I really don't blame you. I felt that way many years. especially through my 20s. I'm 33 now and recently met someone. I've been dating her for 7 months now... it's been my longest relationship ever. I feel like I got incredibly lucky but I feel the pain of not wanting to approach women because we're smart and know they all waste our time. it's unfortunate as hell. sadly I feel like my current partner is gonna dump me as soon as she finds someone apparently better than me... ugh. sorry bro.
This is gold.... don't let someone get control over you...... once you get hooked you'll be settling for crumbs.......
Guys listen this is going to be important... when someone is trying to use you... stop and think do you deserve to be used or do you deserve to be respected? Your self respect and self worth is determined by you! stop looking at women who you deem beautiful as a trophy and treat her like a person and see how she treats you! if she still thinks she's better than you or deserves princes treatment, drop her immediately and don't look back. you can do the opposite of everything she likes and have her eliminate herself as well! stop accepting leftovers and borderline abuse for acceptance for someone that doesn't want you nor respects you!
I think you're right about respect. Tell the girl right up front what you're about and what you want. Don't make it about her. Be polite but not kind. They respect that.
Not sure that anyone deserves anything in particular.
" People can only play you if you let them". This line is best🔥🔥
A classic example is when someone takes a long time to respond to a text message about re-confirming plans for meeting up. A simple way to test whether someone is playing you is to send that text on the morning of the day before the scheduled date. If they don't answer you within 3-6 hours, that usually is an indicator they're not fully invested in you. Especially since most people check their phones several times a day (e.g. lunchtime), and the responses requires a simple line of text.
Learn from your doctor's (dentist's, etc) office. What do they always do when you have an appointment coming up? They call/email you 36/48 hours in advance [Morning of the day before, like you said] and ask you to "confirm your appointment." This is your last chance to cancel. Why? Because it is their last chance, if you do cancel, to offer that time slot to some other patient.
And notice that they Do Not Play. If you cancel day of, or no show? They will bill you anyway, like they warn you they'll do when you sign that patient information packet. Now, of course, you can't really bill someone for standing you up. But, they set a boundary, they enforce a consequence, and so can you.
@@vhb175 That is a great analogous example!
@@vhb175 This is actually a brilliant perspective. Yes, appointments must be kept. Thanks - I'll keep this in mind! 😁
My last talking stage lasted 2 weeks of her consistently being responsive, multiple texts, invested in the conversation, etc. Then the day before our first date she just ghosted entirely and never texted again. Sometimes it's hard to tell if they're wasting your time, or just genuinely are putting on an act for the attention and then when it becomes time to make it official, they go on to the next person.
Seriously, most of the time they don't know what they're up to either. But if things don't work out with her, always remember this: You've just dodged a bullet.
Maybe they wer with other guys as well at the same time, who knows.
for the future, what you experienced is most likely "love bombing" which is a telltale sign of someone who is not emotionally available. if it feels like the initial communication is too good to be true, chances are it is and at the very least you need to pump the brakes and lower your expectations so that the ghosting won't hit so hard if it happens
let just be frank, some of them do have issues in keeping the communication. That for the first 5 days, they will just keep messaging you left and right, until the 6th day they can just ghost you. It could be like some drawing in to their orbit technique, where if they resent your personality, they only have you as a CONVENIENT friend. Then there is also any flip side, you have dodged the bullet.
She’s getting ran through buddy 👍🏻
I was dating this girl, she told me she met someone and is engaged after two months, She said I dress well, have a great sense of humor, but that I am too intelligent for her. She would rather be with someone in which she is the smarter person in the relationship. I looked at her and said I already knew smiled and walked away.
That is a BS way just to tell you she doesn’t like you.
@@GD-sm5nzshe might as well told him he too nice. Not only she wasn't into him but she been talking to that other guy awhile too
@@GD-sm5nzNOPE!! SHE WANTED SOMEONE SHE COULD MANIPULATE!! Ole boy wasn’t going for that though he picked up on it right away.
I had my fair share of matches where the girl I was matched with would show these signs.
When they are very attractive, it's much easier to let them string you along. But at the end of the day, if they're putting in no effort, you just got to let them go and move along. You'll find someone else who will show you mutual respect.
I recently went through this. I was dating a girl for over 2 months from bumble, I was exclusively dating her and after 2 months she started dating another guy as well from bumble saying we agreed to openly date earlier. Even after two months she was not clear, or pretending to be not clear, but wanted me as a friend. I stopped talking completely, but it sucks.
Very tough decision but it was the smart one for you. Do not feed her ego or give her ‘options’. In a nutshell, no one likes being number #2. You’ll be fine, brotha! 👊
@mikenelson8377 thankyou bro, yes it was painful. I still am in the process of healing as it's just been two weeks after the breakup. But I am much better now and just as you said, I won't be anyone's OPTION.
@@palashtrivedi5622 of course! My best advice beyond what I’ve commented: live your BEST life. You don’t need a girl to live your best life. Keep smiling, have a good attitude and things WILL happen ☺️
it's cause women got so many options now
It's crazy how so many modern women think that this is OK. It's a morally reprehensible behavior and mindset. Needless to say, it's a huge turnoff.
The last girl I was talking to was doing the over complimentary strategy, which I did some research some time ago and it is also called "love bombing". She kept saying how chivalrous I was, and kept wondering why I was single.
While we talked, I eventually found out she had a boyfriend, in which they were in a back and forth situation (going to couples therapy, getting separated, etc.). So I realized all she was looking for was for someone else to comfort her, using that love bombing strategy. Even if she ended up being honest saying she didn't want to use me as a rebound, it still felt like she was playing me. There was a mutual click which we talked about later on, but I was constantly in doubt. I decided it was best to step back and stop wasting time.
This gives me faith in women again, that a woman herself can provide these no bull-shit advice without making it a man’s fault. Thank you! 🙏
It becomes your fault when you don't listen or cling to a woman with these bloody flags for too long...Courtney is right about making sure you get these hints and act accordingly!
@@danielthurber77 I get your point, but the problem is that most men are not AWARE of these signs. Which makes them fall prey to women who will either waste their time and or become psychologically abusive. It doesn´t help either that the majority of men live with a scarcity mindset and feel like they have no shot with women. Of course they will be easily manipulated.
You have to learn that words are a poor medium of communication. when she says "it's your fault" she may mean "it's your responsibility".
Man's role in a relationship is to "conquer" the woman. "Conquering" is hard to describe, the woman will behave erratically and the man has to correct her.
If man doesn't correct her "bad behavior" she will not correct herself.
The tragedy of woman is this "bad behavior" is the way she evaluates man.
Compounded to this natural process, the social-economical-cultural conditionings, like being trained by parents and corporations and state institutions to "serve the country" or "serve the family" or "to be happy is to buy, eat, consume"
Imagine girls prepared since birth to be married only to wealthy man. Like a dog.
So the fight becomes to destroy this conditioning, and liek, if you're not wealthy, how do you even get to decondition such a woman? Only then can you proceed to conquer her according to the natural process.
Then there's the Diznification of women, legions conditioned through music, books, magazines, fashion, cinema and so on, that they'll be saved by a pure hearted boy who will fight dragons and sh1t to get the girl.
Only to discover that "all men are pigs", aka there's no pure hearted boy anywhere in the world.. So you have to decondition this behavior also.
Don't worry, you'll get back to dating and remember why you lost faith in women in the first place, in no time.
It shouldn't. The fact that a video like this has to be made says a lot about the average female. This should not be the default behavior for half the fucking population, it's insane. Women need to be held accountable for their actions, and that starts with men not being thirsty ass simps giving them everything they want.
Fellas it's this simple there are only two kinds of women
Those who reciprocate and those who don't who only want attention to boost their own ego which is manipulative and toxic
Hey Courtney! I just want to say thank you for all the content. You have greatly impacted me. I’ve been learning French and this week has been a challenging week. I thought I was fluent, only to discover not yet. Then I remembered my favorite Courtney quote: “Slow and steady wins the race.” I’ve gradually incorporated this in all areas of my life: guitar, French, exercise, and more. You are making a positive impact on the platform and I appreciate the positive videos. I’m talking to a new girl and I’m going to remember what you’ve taught me about girls.
Oh this is so wonderful! I’m so happy I can help. Hugs 🥰
Recently went through this with a gal, the inconsistent communication and constant weak excuses to ever get together, and whenever we did make plans, she canceled w/o making an effort to reschedule. I pushed her away twice, and she would always reach out to “try again” and apologize. I finally just told her to lose my number, then she reached out again when I ran into her, she was butt hurt that I didn’t say hi. Tired of these fake females.
God has you, brother 🙏
These are all excellent points. The short version: If she's manifesting any of these behaviors, consider the "relationship" at an end. If she isn't interested in you now, she *definitely* won't be in the future.
The girl I’m speaking to now, I’ve met a couple of times. I honestly think she’s absolutely out of my league totally. I really do. Yet every time, she’s always wanting to hang out and go out with me. If she is genuine, she will make that time with you!
Up front trauma dumping is a big one too. It is done to shock you and keep her distance.
When one girl didn't answer me after I asked her if she wanted to have a steak dinner with me, I knew that was my answer so I threw her number away. Last time I seen her she said something about staying in contact, but there was no way I was going to be doing that again. I got no texts back from her so I stopped sending her any.
Exactly that's the worst when you put in real effort plan something they flake and they still expect you to contact them no no no.
@@bartsullivan4866 Some of Courtney's Videos hit close to what I have gone thru to. I wanted to ask how long should a guy wait for a answer?
Can we all agree that in order to maintain love you have to max out
Respect for loyalty
Loyalty for respect
Trust for support
Support for trust
All of these are a must for love if you lack any of these you don't have love you have uncommunicated expectations
Completely spot on. I had to learn these things the hard way. I wish this video came out years ago. The problem is, about 90% of women are going for the top 10% of guys. Average Joe's don't stand a chance. We end up on rosters and friend zoned. It's a bitter pill because, as a man, you want to think that you have a lot to offer, and I think I and guys like me do, but they don't see it that way because their superficial. It's better to just give up, because even if you land one of these women, they will always look to move up.
Nothing could be further from truth. What a powerful insightful message. Taken to heart!
Thanks a million.
If someone cannot bring themselves to MAKE the time for you now during the dating stage, then that's a sign that they are not for you. I understand that life gets in the way sometimes (we're human after all), but it cannot be getting in the way all of the time. And if life is getting in the way all of the time, then do yourself and others a favor, and get your life in order because time is going to continue move on whether we like it or not!
The inconsistent texting is all too common nowadays and I've felt with it, it sucks tbh gotta move on though
That's what happens when you give women a mobile device with the ability to contact every man on the fucking planet from her pocket. they have too many options and they all conflate men wanting to fuck them with them providing something of value. So in turn they ALL have this insanely large chip on their shoulder for absolutely no reason besides thirsty dudes want to fuck them, and they can get that type attention whenever and wherever they want. It doesn't benefit anybody and it's a net loss for society as a whole.
There's no such thing as busy, it called priority and you're not it! Stop wasting your time and energy on such person.
Other signs I would add are her affection is conditional. Meaning she’ll go out with you if you do x. Or she’ll commit to a relationship if you do y. Those are red flags that she’s not interested in you for you, and once you stop doing “x” she won’t be around. Another sign is her communication and conversations are about her. She doesn’t ask a lot of questions to know who really are. How can you develop strong feelings for someone if you don’t know them.
My ex showed all these signs. Didn’t expect this from an older woman.
There’s so much to learn and understand for someone to have a successful relationship/marriage
Ugh. Carbon copy of the recent relationship that just ended. I need to stop ignoring red flags!
Just recently met a girl online. We chatted on a dating app a number of times, had a few things in common. I asked her if she wanted to get coffee. She said yes, but wanted me to answer a question before the date. She wanted to know if I was looking for perfection or a model type of woman. I said I'm not looking for perfection or a model, but I'm also not looking for someone that's unhealthy and overweight. She blocked me after that, lol. I didn't get the impression she was overweight based on her online photos. I guess she was just insecure.
She blocked you. How romantic my guy! Her loss bro! Stay away from that woman.
The use fake pictures sometimes
My money says she would never date a man that's unhealthy and overweight herself. Women often create standards for men that they never hold themselves to.
So which means that she definitely was fat and overweight. The truth hurts that’s why she blocked you.
@@jeffyk99or she could’ve been a feminist… I noticed that nowadays women stand behind other women even if they’re not like them or they don’t agree
and I think the reason why women do it this is because they don’t want to rock the boat.
If you give a woman attention and she is not giving you as much or more attention, she doesn't care about you. Never give more than you get because that means she is using you.
Very good and comprehensive presentation Courtney. All 5 signs are for real and common. We are at a point now where you can judge someone's real interest in how quickly they respond to your texts. Not because that's a good thing but because that's how the chips fell.
Another great vid, Courtney. I've had my fair share of these. Fellas, we need to understand that women who do this are looking for a "best" option. So our only choices are to bail or talk to a number of women simultaneously and hopefully get lucky. Yes, it's basically a gamble we either play or not.
Because if she's looking around while talking to you, you should probably do the same. Now in my late 40s, single, no kids, I chose to bail. Don't regret doing so.
These are key points that I myself have fallen for not knowing exactly what's going on. Reflecting on them after the fact I realized that I was projecting my level of interest on to the other person. You have to be cognizant that your mind may tell you what you want to hear which then you will ignore reality in order to construct a different reality. I believe this applies to both men and women and knowing when to cut your losses (not be bitter about it) Just move on. Pay attention to what people do not to what they say. That way you can spend your time, effort and energy on someone who will be more receptive, reciprocate your effort and whom you can build something with. Great video great topic very well covered.
These are all incredible points. Really strange to listen to.
My narcissistic ex after months of abusing me got together with someone else straight away and then gets in touch with me two months later saying they are getting married and moving in together and it's "true love".
Needless to say over a year later and she's still contacting me.
Also, they most definitely do keep you in limbo. She was telling me she loved me after the third meeting. Definitely no true commitment. No deep conversation about anything.
There was no mutualism.
Thanks for the great video.
JAN. 21st, 2025 - wow - your VERY FIRST POINT ("stressing INDEPENDENCE") totally hit home, as well as several other points you made. In my 4th month of being ghosted "again" (multiple ghosting periods over a 9.5-year "friendship") .... and she has stressed MANY times her "independence FROM MEN" after her 5-year divorce proceedings with her "Ex" (yes, it took that long for the court proceedings). I provided "Emotional Support" for all 5-years during her divorce, endured ZERO "intimacy" with her; but always thought there was "hope". Now I know better - thank you Courtney!
I run a successful enough to live off business, I go to the gym, I have hobbies, and I have friends. If I can respond to someone through text atleast a few times a day I just don’t accept someone is “too busy” to respond to texts or plans requests in a reasonable time. Easily one of the biggest things that will turn me off to a woman, because if I can do it I know you can. Tik tok ain’t that intense babe 💀
Thinking this man...ELON MUSK can send tweets! He is insanely busy. If ELON can send a tweet or a text NO woman on planet earth can make that claim of being to busy. If she says that she is a liar and playing you. I am too busy = I am too busy for YOU! Classic woman speak.
No connection is worth mistreatment. Plus it’s easier for me to have compassion for what people have been through when I don’t allow them to take it out on me, because hurt people hurt people.
very good perspective. way too much bitterness in the dating world. as you grow in compassion you learn that these kinds of people have not healed enough to be healthy dating material, and you can't hate them but you also do not let yourself fall into the trap anymore
My advice: dont waste time on female friends. And dont even try to be around her just because shes pretty and maybe she will like you more than others.... Ive done it so many times and I simply was a beta orbiter, wasted lots of time and noone of them care about me.
This is good advice. I’d say we’ve all been there at least once. I’m definitely tired of being the good guy for women who just use you and want the same type of losers over and over.
4:00 "You'd make a great boyfriend." Unfortunately, not for her, but for "some other lucky woman," because I'm such an "amazing guy."
Since you asked, I’d had a really cute and friendly young woman approach me at work with some very strong flirtatious body language and a suggestion that we should spend time together outside of work. I got her number and one day texted her asking her out on a simple hike in a popular area in town. She responded affirmatively but before I could text back, she sent a text saying she already had plans and would not be able to go with me, not suggesting any alternatives like ‘what about tomorrow, this weekend, or any other time’. Just a bow-out and thanks for inviting her. So that’s about it for me. She’s the one missing out, and she’s not the only girl in town. A little disappointing, but also kind of funny.
Makes me think of some other motive , why approach you and at work? I think maybe a set up for work harrassment.
But yes, the lack of interest and specifically not asking to make plans BACK and saying what days they are open is the huge flag. BYE! 👋
Completely spot on. I've gone through this recently. Gents, let go of toxic people and time wasters.
Since the last two three days I have been thinking about taking a few steps back ..
And now after watching this video I am sure about it .
All the points match in my situation.
And I am not gonna keep myself letting down .
Keep growing brothers !!!!
This describes where I have been. Teasing romance and sex, but being friend zone. P-teasing to the max. We broke up when I insisted on more commitment.
Yupp just had this happen to me. All of what you said, and a really good first date. Then blew off plans and came back with some BS excuse. Made good on another plan, but was glued to her phone the whole time talking to someone else. Like hey, if we're hanging out, you should be present. It's one thing to periodically check your phone or respond to something important, but to be sitting there typing out long messages over and over again is so unbelievably rude. Like if you have somewhere better to be, go do that and not waste me time.
Courtney, thank you for this information. It's like you are sitting right in front of me telling me this so I could get it. Every point you made is what I am going through right now. This has been going on for a long time. Frustrating.💔
First video I ever saw of your Courtney and it was really good. The only other thing I would add you mention she’s using your time and energy, but also your money. Another caution is when they never use terms of endearment.
Great info. These experiences are sometimes necessary for us to grow, and to learn what to expect from women in the future. Fellas, stop putting ladies who clearly dont want you, on a pedestal. Get high paying jobs, get cut and jacked, enjoy life, and don't be afraid to place these ladies in YOUR friendzone.
First one already hit me🤦🏽♂️😭preciate it Courtney
I feel sad for guys who had to undergo these
We all do. I'm even undergoing it currently. Girls these days are just difficult
Just another Tuesday....
For me it was on a Monday.
A friend of mine is stuck with a witch that made him cried already. For example (so you know) she literally compared family wealth 🤡 (You ser the level of that bitch). They stopped talking then she got back because she lacks of attention of course. We all told him to stop. He said she didn’t really excused for all she did, he sees the red flags but go for it anyway….
Valuable experience
I learned this the hard way in my mid 20s chasing a coworker. Arms length, didn't take good natured ribbing well at all.... That experience hit me hard and in hindsight there were countless red flags after the first outing and date. Vs other girls who make it clear the first date they are serious.
I encountered something similar to this, but I should've been honest with her from the get-go. But now I've learned that lesson and also thanks Courtney for these five signs.
Been struggling the past 16 months with a girl who has essentially been doing all of these things for a long time now. It hurts a lot and has been really hard to accept that someone who you see so much in just doesn't feel the same way anymore. Either way, thank you for these videos Courtney. I randomly discovered your channel recently and it has been comforting to listen to your videos about this sort of stuff.
I've learned to not trust words. Only actions speak truth❤
Solid information. Loved it. Thanks much.
Liked the fact that you kept it short and concise too. 2025 is about saving time as your rightly said 💪
There are lots of good women...Hope Courtney makes a short concise video on this
I am dealing with a girl right now exactly like this. Called her out, and told her we should just be friends until she has ready for a relationship. She was clearly stringing me a long.
Although we are supposed to be just friends, she is still talking to me as if nothing changed, and I don't want to ghost her because that is immature. But like, the more she talks to me the more I am starting to have feelings for her again.
I am in a similar situationship with a lady doing the same thing. I think she's amazing but she is doing several of the things in the video does not value my time, does not go out of her way at all to plan or do dates. Its hard moving on when you really like the lady but she's just not that into you. I don't even want to really remain friends because I like her much more than that. But the constant disappointment and stringing me along is hard on your health.
stay strong king, hold the line and don't give in.
@@bartsullivan4866 Your weakness for her will get you critically wounded. Even worse, you'll blame yourself for those wounds in the end.
She is currently hitting me with time delays, pull backs, silent treatment, flaking, inconsistency, manufactured mood swings etc. When I fall back and get on with my life, she leans in and acts real nice.
The funny thing is, she isn't fooling me. I'm not falling for these games.
If anything, I am losing attraction and getting the proverbial "ick"
Get caught in bed with a younger, better looking girl if she's able to come to your house.
Then block her number immediately.
if you listen to your gut and have respect for yourself these things become self explanatory. great video
Thank you Courtney, really needed to hear that today, i was in a very similar situation at work, not in a romantic way, but was more like a one-sided friendship. Because of that, i figured out that in my life i was always searching for validation from others, specially woman, long story short, freeing myself from those toxic relationships led me to feel peace and relief in my life, and into a journey to love me more.
Important things: 0:29 First Thing ÷ Overemphasizes Independence; 1:31 Second Thing ÷ Communication Is Inconsistent; 2:27 Third Thing ÷ She Avoid Making Plans / Cancels; 3:21 Fourth Thing ÷ Keep Things Vague; 4:30 Fifth Thing ÷ Contact Is Transactional; and 5:56 to summarize all the told here.
What you have told there Courtney is so true. Sometimes we notice things, sometimes we don't notice things.
These games such as hot / cold, I call it yes / no games. And what I mean by saying this is that person is one day interested in you, one day is not interested in you; after a couple of weeks the person is showing so called interested again, and again, and it won't end. We all generally don't have games not just in 2025, but we don't have times for whole for the games, since time is very valuable resource that cannot be compensated. Use it wisely.
I also notice that showing no interest in serious relationship is when some people do seek if someone is rich or poor, in financial way I mean. I'll explain what I meant by saying this. I meant that some people (either is men or women) are doing things to see to get very big amount of money, no matter if the rich person has good or bad intentions towards them. Also is not just money in the mind, but it's also constantly se* (24 hours a day). Honor exceptions to those who don't seek just either money or se*. I understand that the money and se* are important, but these things aren't the priority, and they shouldn't be a priority. The priority are following things: understanding, trust, support, respect, dignity, commitment and acceptance. I don't know about you dear people, but I as a gentleman, I don't prefer to have se* with no commitment.
I also agree that it cannot just always have to be 50:50 like you said Courtney. It can also be finding a compromise which will be good for both sides.
You have to look at the deeds, since deeds will say many things. So simply, just watch the deeds, and not the words.
Also be relaxed and just go with the flow.
When I was listening to you Courtney I remembered one thing one quote what Nicola Tesla told. He told this: "Sometimes the most is achieved when least expected." Meaning sometimes when you don't expect thing they will happen (in the positive way I mean, since it did happen to me that).
I can also say that what a coincidence that we both upload videos on same day, Courtney.
Thank you very much for your wisdom Courtney 🤓😎🥰❤💙🤍💓.
Thanks for summarising but there’s no way I’m reading all of that.
@@Sharon-Slater1991 Thank you also. You're welcome.
I'm literally right there rn. I've been in a relationship with this girl for 2 years, and she's been saying that her personality needs space since the start, but she's the one determining when we spend time and calls me needy when we don't, even if we hadn't done anything for a week or so, and it's just always so tense and feels like i cant say anything. but whenever i feel horrible about it she comes back and showers me with love even if i said something wrong. everything makes so much more sense now, im gonna wait a week or 2 to see if it gets better since she's been taking social space from me but hanging out with a friend (shes not cheating i know that) so we'll see i guess. but a lot of boxes were ticked here unfortunately
if anyone reads this, don't end up where i am.
@trust God (how?) ..,watch "The Ninth Configuration"..,(you're welcome, Brother 🙏)
Men need to understand that a woman who TRULY wants you will do everything she can to be with you. Just like you would if you found a woman you fell for.
Always think logically, with the head on your shoulders, or you’ll get what you deserve. Played.
The problem is when they do this after treating you like shit during a relationship, so you break up with them just for them to realize the fucked up and start giving you the attention they should have been giving you the whole time. and as a man you have to take that and walk away from it. I really don't think people understand just how hard it is to be a man sometimes, and situations like that just add to it.
I felt like shes talking about me😆 I do this all the time to avoid any men misunderstanding that Im into them. I also clearly say that Im not looking for relationships! we need to keep the distance to avoid getting close to someone you are not into!
Thanks for your honesty. While I do have 2 gals, trying to get my attention..,I already have platonic gal pals @ church (stay blessed, Sister 🙏)
Every relationship, outside of direct family, is generally "transactional" to one degree or another.
I'm a girl, watched this in order to see where I tend to act wrong, since don't want to treat anyone unfairly
Recognized myself in certain patterns, thank you for pointing them out, I'll continue working on myself and getting rid of the harmful inclinations :)
that color looks so good on you, Courtney!🤩
It's such a great video and quite educational, I must say. Not only we can apply this knowledge in the romantic settings of our lives, but also, doing an adequate stretch, in our relationships in general. Phenomenal!
Thanks ma'am❤ it actually helped, I'm no longer confused now, literally feeled now that I actually wasted my time😢
Thanks. I've experienced what you take about. This video is just perfect.
I told her to stop chatting me.
She's not ready for a real connection, she's comes online and her visibility status shows online but she doesn't create time to chat with me. Even up until late into the night.
I used to fall victim to this but not anymore!
This is the video I was looking for. Thank you Madame you are such a good relationship consultant
Thanks so much for sharing this. I have seen these behaviors and have already learned how to recognize them, I still can appreciate this post. 👍👍
This game playing advice is true. What I found surprising is that women in their 40's and 50's do this also. I thought by their 30's women develop class and integrity, not still in high school.
well, shit, If women in their 40s and 50s do this, I'm mostly screwed.
@soccerlube Women don't grow up, they grow old. Women in their 60s and 70s do this too.
Which is why their still single. And the majority of the dating pool.
Its like you made this video with me in mind. My God this woman checked off every single box here.
This woman is spittin facts!!! 🔥🔥🔥
What a Random but Nice Coincidence that You Post a
Video on My Birthday!
Happy birthday! 🎂
Happy birthday!
I m done , completely done with these wicked witches .
part is I was in a relationship and I did not realized I was being played after seven months in it ended I've learnt a significant amount about what I should look out in a person that has great qualities and those to avoid. I won't lie I was frustrated and sad but chose to cut off all ties. to allow myself to move on and prioritizing myself and my dreams. moving forward if I do end up in a relationship I want someone who can make themselves happy whilst still enjoying my company and im able to focus on what I need.
Thank you for another brilliant lesson. I had a "cold" mother who never bother about my opinion, and all my relationships with women were the same unfortunate ones.
These were all signs that I failed to pick up on, but recently I discovered why. I listened to "The Body Keeps the Score" and it has helped me understand and work through my emotional trauma so much. Highly recommend it if you have ever felt burned in relationships or have difficulty expressing your emotions. You absolutely CAN have a good healthy relationship if you are willing to do the hard work on yourself.
Ugh this vid couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. I started finding myself falling for a girl at work who showed results in sales goals and we just shared similar work ethics I thought. I ended up running into her a few times and we actually shared some similar views and vibed. I would start teasing and throwing jabs and she would just laugh at all my jokes. I was always afraid to make any big moves though cause we were coworkers and I was afraid to get in trouble. This continued throughout the year as I slowly got more invested in her and she seem to in me where she started coming up to me when I was hanging to myself at work and even coming with me to an event. One day I went in she started bringing up how I don't look my age which means she spied on me cause I never told her but since then I think she gave up any interest she might've had because just before Christmas I got her to talk with me all engaged like we do in the break room and I got her to indirectly confess that she thinks it's weird for a guy at her other job who's about my age to be asking this other coworker about her age out. The message was pretty clear. She even leaked she was dating other guys recently but that they were weird. So I guess I've been played. The cherry on top was I decided to surprise her with a little gift for her efforts to try to dethrone me from top sales with this Christmas competition. She tried so hard so I gave her a surprise gift to which she responded omg! I'm totally going to get you something now! ...to which she never did. Kind of depressing but I guess I need to start walking home rather than taking just a step back. Easier said than done.
If she’s playing you, it’s your fault by giving women too much P credit. Treat them as a commodity and they won’t leave you alone
You saved many lives
The inconsistent communication was killer. I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt because she's a mom and worked a lot of OT. But it took me too long to realize that I only mattered when her other options weren't around. I'm doing a lot better with that situation now but man that destroyed a lot of my confidence.
I’m amazed at the lack of integrity and how women just use guys and attention who’re them. It’s so obvious and pathetic needy.
I've been through these 5 things way too many times, it's gotten to the point where I won't associate myself with women unless she has a man and he is there to be in the conversation with us
Its funny, I was going to write about my situation, but I realized that even if I am being played, at least I'm choosing who I get played by. It feels like 99% of people in general are just playing games, but we've been talking for a long time, and I have specific reasons to believe that she is being genuine. Everyone's situation is different, and it's up to you to determine if they are being genuine or not. Someone actually being very busy and very independent, while working on themselves, doesn't mean they aren't interested. Its when you know they aren't busy and independent, but they tell you otherwise, that is when you cut it off.
I think the real key here is that she is willing to have the hard conversations about trying to understand what is wrong and how we can find a solution, on both sides. Open and honest communication, along with understanding and patience, is the only solid foundation of any relationship.
Courtney, the big sister we all need but we don’t deserve 😘 because we are just a bunch of simps lol
I love this, short and sweet and to the point.
When they talk about independence, clear sign, I also do it when I am not interested.
great vid. on point.If anyone wants to take it a step further, educate yourself on covert narcissism b/c the ability to identify one can save you needlless suffering. Covert narcissists can be men or women and they can make relationships a living hell. No way I'm falling got that again.
I just gone through a hard breakup. A few months ago, my five-year relationship ended, and it has been really difficult. I can't seem to get my ex lover off my mind, and I still love him a lot. Nothing I've tried to get him back has worked, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. Although sharing this here may seem strange, I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
His name is Father Obah Eze and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
Thanks to your useful information, I just looked him up online. amazing
Father Obah Eze is really sincere, based on my online research. Once again, thank you ❤
You hit on every aspect of my current situation. I had a feeling I was being played, but I just can’t say enough. HELP
Theres nothing to say. Only text to setup a date. And don't talk on the phone with her for more than 3-5 minutes. Your too busy.
If she flakes on the date, or you don't have a good time on that date, block her.
I need to keep saved in a list so i remeber all this for when she comes back in 3 months or so. Its not that i didnt know all of this, its more that Its so easy to you know, wanting to forget when things starts to look up again, and then you know what happens.