Commitment Issues | Men's Round Table | A Black Love Series
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- Опубліковано 5 сер 2024
- Men's Round Table, hosted by Brandon Bryant @Wallstreetpaper, features black men of differing ages and relationship status weighing in on everything love and relationships, from dating apps to commitment and marriage.
Filmed Pre-covid
For more information and articles on this topic visit www.blacklove.com
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Being a black woman. I salute these BLACK KINGS!!!!!!. Thank you for being transparent!
Having kids is a lifetime decision too. Be mindful of who you choose to have your kids with because it’s for life. Hopefully that person is your husband or wife and not someone you have no desire to be with long term.
Came here to say this!
Exactly why I don't have children yet. I have not meet a woman who I can see being my wife and the mother of my children..
I don't get how women will have kiss, hit not marry.. being with the guy for 10+years, many kids no marriage
@@bplatonova I will partially agree with your statement about having many children and no marriage....
However coming from a long-term relationship (20 + years 2 children) I thought this was the person I would be with for the long haul. Midlife crisis hit him hard where he decided this was not what he wanted with me now that our sons are of age.... depression hit him and he ran....to only end up less than 2 years later with my "friend" of 20 years....we were still seeing each other and had things still tied together (bank acct, car insurance, etc)..sometimes it's an inherent flaw in them as well. If they don't have the healthy and solid foundation to look to then unfortunately it filters into their current relationship 🤷🏾♀️ijs from experience
@@honeylove116 girl, why you sound like me? I'm in the same boat, 15 years, midlife crisis hit him and now he wants an asian women. I'm still here because I lost my job
The fear of missing out is real; however, one must realize that there will always be a more attractive or more successful or more whatever man or woman than the last one.
As an adult, we need to learn self-control. Self-discipline. Good morals. And the fear of God. When individuals possess these fruits commitment won't be foreign. I believe anyone who sees everything as an argument does not know have communicative skills to handle conflict and one's difference or accepts one's perspective
I'm Hispanic and come from a lot of the same childhood experiences these men are speaking to. Broken families, giving up when things get tough, dealing with toxic situations, etc - all became normalcy for me. I'm 30 years old, and I'm trying to break the cycle. I'm trying to be the better man, the better person, that I've never had in my life. It's so hard, emotionally and mentally to outgrow the way our brains become hardwired from our experiences. All this just to say that I'm almost in tears hearing these folks talking about these things because it makes me feel less alone in my internal struggle to commit in all aspects of my life, and be the man a good woman deserves.
Keep up the great work homie! The honesty is key to the improvements ur manifesting. We're all in this together. Stay solid. 👊🏾
Commitment comes with responsibility. My mother and father never argued in front of me because she didn't want me to know what they were talking about and getting bad habits. 💯
Same here.. but I also never learned how they solved their problems either..
@@DivaDivine88 exactly. Not seeing your parents participate in self management and progressive relating and high communication during challenging times is not a benefit. Unfortunately we see either hyper abusive mannerisms or depressed appearing as if we’re always good mannerisms. Our parents are dynamic beings just like we are, but often they did not have the tools. And secondly, it sets us up to not get a honest take on what working Thru things cooperatively looks like. And last many of our parents stayed in safe relationships because they had fear of making changes or going against the grain especially if they did not have the financial means to make a way.
I agree that family members try to force people to get married all the time. We should know where we are in our journey and appreciate it and continue growing as an individual.
The most common misconception is that men are afraid of commitment, but the pressures of failure far outweigh anything else. You can fail at business, learn from it, try it again... WITHOUT emotional trauma, insecurities, and resentment...
Men love differently, women (generally) can fall in love multiple times in their lives.. Men have one and a possible, anyone after that is in comparison to that "one.." Fear of losing that or thinking you've found it and being tricked is crippling in the moment.
Very interesting . Pls elaborate on the one and the alternative. Is that like the one that got away and is it that way cos men close off themselves to protect from getting hurt?
Facts!
You can overcome the "one" if You correct Your blueprint ... the "one" may have been a temptation and therefore outrshined the true "ONE"...prayer will definitely help...I wish all the best...and by the way...woman also do have the "one" and the rest often stays in comparrisson...but when You heal You set the blueprint right
Hmm interesting perspective. Some men are not mature when they find a good woman. He would waste her time stringing her a long until she has enough and leaves a for her sanity and preservation.
I wish everyone was able to be honest about where they are before starting a relationship. If someone doesn't love themselves to a certain degree they shouldn't be in a relationship. It causes a lot of problems.
Some people can't give love and some people can't receive love.
Great conversation...fear of committment = lack of confidence in yourself and your principles
Perfectly put
I wish the guy explaining his story could got the chance to finish
I agree! I feel like the man in the middle who’s pretty much the host should wheel the conversation back in more, opposed to focusing on the joking side.
@@jayc5756 I think he lacks relationship maturity, which causes the distractions during the conversations.
Omg..... yes I was getting so annoyed, the guy in the middle tends to cut everyone off and likes to joke instead of allowing people to finish their thoughts...
I see what you are saying. He’s just not interested in hearing the journey of his commitment SMH
@pmarie YES! I agree! He’s annoying and I’m sick of him laughing!
Thank you for the transparency. Please keep these conversations, coming because for me it helps me to understand the logic behind a man's thinking.
Check out relationship talk uncut Uncensored. It's all about relationships from both man and woman perspective. Very good podcast
Once again, the Men's Round Table delivered. The fact that they get to the heart of the subject matter without being evasive makes this worth watching. They also do a really good job of allowing each other to speak. Do a show or extend their talk time. This is wonderful!
I absolutely agree
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Top Reasons in the USA for divorce
Money
Infidelity
Conflict
Commitment
Addictions
Bonus reasons
Social Media
Communication effectively
Physical Appearance
FIX THESE IN YOUR SINGLE SEASON ❤
Period!! Fix these in your single season A.k.a. Heal.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤
Yes ma’am !!
Who and What needs to be fix?
I’m in a relationship now and I refuse to marry this Woman unless the issues we face now are addressed and discussed and actively worked on.
@@FlawlessSpit I agree 100%
FOMO is really holding a lot of us from the true joys of discipline 🙌🏾
Absolutely!
Women get scared to men, shocking that more women do not talk about this. I want to married one day but I have to admit. I'm scared as hell lol .
Thanks for sharing that. Some women will feel that way but still demand it from a man and even use her body to pressure him into it but really not even sure her self totally
Be honest with yourself and be honest with women. There are women who will go for a moment in time and some women who won’t. But the key is being honest with the woman. Women are not made of glass. We are resilient and we won’t break.
Or maybe men are being honest, but women aren't willing to listen. Be honest, how many women you know that go to deal with a man in hopes to "change his mind" on some of his boundaries, like having children?
I know quite a few.
I got married at age 24 (two years out of college) in 1983 and still married. It was interesting and insightful listening to this conversation among these youngers Brothers and it caused me to reflect. When I was their age there were no outlets for these types of conversations among my male peers and therapy wasn't even a consideration, especially within my family, social or professional circle, so a lot was trial and error to develop our blueprint for a successful and meaningful marriage. I have many friends who've been married 20+ years and also those that didn't last long. As I read an article this morning it mentioned something I've heard often in the past and have implemented in my mindset when it comes to pursuing activities, goals, career choices etc. Ask yourself what is your "Why"..it surely holds true for pursuing and engaging in relationships. Good conversation Brothers!
Statistically people who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce.
SSSOOOO TRUE!!!
I doubt men are watching this comments section but the issue is fomo & sexual discipline. Start to practice sexual discipline while single. Make a decision to remain disciplined
So transparency, openness, honesty and sharing and caring is the new black! I love it!
If ur scared to get married be scared to have kids. Please stop disappointing women& kids..years of promises etc....sit at the head of ur table..be a leader.
Facts
close your legs. Women choose men to sleep with not the other way around. Be accountable for your decisions
I really enjoyed hearing these men's perspectives. It really does show how important it is to choose your partner/spouse/community wisely. Imagine the bad decisions we could have avoided if we all had wise elders, parents to go to for advice. A lot of hurt and broken people are taking advice from hurt broken people.
I've never been married or seen a healthy marriage. However, I do believe wonderful things can happen when a man and woman get married with clear intentions of building, unifying, problem solving and growing together. I have done and continue doing a lot of work loving, healing myself, and bringing myself joy. I'm not looking for a husband to fix me or make me happy or complete, but one where we compliment each other.
Great video. Some of the best advice I received as a new wife (from a married couple at my church that had been married for years) was that our honeymoon/newlywed stage could last our entire marriage... Praise God 15 years later I know what they mean 😄. The funny thing, I was actually one of those girls that grew up not wanting a husband or kids, lol.
👏👏👏Hats off to these men for being open, honest and vulnerable.
I love this. As a brother in his late 30s, this is one of the first times that I’ve heard brother speak openly about this topic. It’s good to know I’m not alone
Key point, "the blueprint wasn't properly mapped out". How does one get somewhere if they don't know how to get there?
The guy in the black sweater, and the fella next to him are insightful. "Meaningless sex!" -well it meant something to me- "If there is no real connection, then it's all meaningless man, you know what I mean...let's get real."
What are boys told about marriage and fatherhood when they are growing up? What are their expectations about commitment? Why do men have difficulty becoming emotionally attached to their children after separating from their children’s mother?
Some women are toxic and others chase their baby daddies away
It’s definitely the message given to boys who become men that creates the issue. If they were taught that their is joy in matrimony and fatherhood oppose to it being the end of all good things they would move through the world differently and probably harm less women along the way by not treating them like sex bags.
@@tcking86 I disagree on a point where you have mentioned men should be taught not to take women as sex bags look at it today the modern day women aren't willing to commit as well i have gone through trauma on the women i have met all they have done is nothing but harm as a man what am i supposed to do? Definitely i might also start just having casual dates and sex without having a mindset of commitment
@@iandiru6433 comments like this aren't helpful to the dialogue and are rooted in personal bitterness based on experience, anger, etc. Blaming a member of the opposite sex for all of your woes in life while simultaneously treating them like objects will further drive a wedge between the sexes.
@@iandiru6433 I wish men would stop using this as an excuse for not having a relationship with their child. Unless the court bans the father from visitation due to being violent or dangerous he can't legally be "chased away" from seeing his child. If she won't let you see them then take her to court and get an order for visitation.
The black men round tables are absolutely amazing! 🤩More of these please!
A man should first always understand who he is, whether or not he has boundaries, standards and have the ability to think for himself in spite of all of the pressures around him.
Great conversation.... commitment is a scary word for many due to our own personal fears and experiences and due to those failed marriages and relationships around us... I struggle with vulnerability at times... I’m happily single and I have no regrets at this point. If I had married when asked, I’d be in divorce court two times over, lol... glad I’m just chilling 💃🏾
Feels good to hear and see men sit down and share their beliefs, fears and feelings.
I’m a woman and I use to be afraid of commitment. I was afraid of the responsibility but also finally agreeing to it and then you realizing that I am not enough and leaving me behind. So, I just ran whenever the opportunity came. Or, said “yes” but was always secretly mentally planning my escape for when this goes wrong.
How do you feel about commitment now?
I used to be like this too!! Crazy how trauma can have so much impact on this.
@@ExcaliburSPO I like the “idea” of it. And, I watch lots of videos on marriage. And, I try to learn how to make it work. But, it’s a constant battle between feeling it can be successful and thinking it’s an illusion that humans are trying to force. I am committed to my dreams and the process it takes to get there! But, I get really nervous about the concept of two people being exclusively committed to each other and actually still feeling alive/happy. If we forced our friend to only have us as a friend, would the friendship still be the same? Would we love each other as much as we do without the diversity and ability to compare it to our other friendships?
@@Christimony222 that's fair...it's possible that our concept of forever and happiness are flawed. Personal opinion...it's simply saying "I want to experience life with this person, and I'm curious to see how he/she develops...I want the front row seat". Finding that person...whole other story...
Then again, it helps to know ourselves...perhaps Marriage isn't for more of us than we think. Perhaps the relationship will look different than what we're seeing...so many possibilities - understandable why we get paralyzed with choice
It’s interesting to hear the guy said he’s risk his life to go have sex with a woman, but never thought of the risk or consequence of how the woman would feel knowing he just wanted her for sex and nothing else. It was more about him and how his actions negatively impact him but not how he negatively impacted others. Men’s minds are interesting. I often find them always concerned with self, and not others. Where women, not all, tend to think more about others. In all I find men are more self serving whereas women sacrifice
This is true. Men and women are socialized to be this way.
I would add women are socialized to think of others to their own detriment and to think of themselves also in the relationship is seen as selfish and wrong.
I disagree and I believe your comment proves how women always think their perfect and can’t admit any wrongdoing within themselves.
I could listen to this all day. I love Timon, by the way, his energy. I appreciate this intellectual conversation x.
Very educational, we need more time . A full hour of this convo men hardly talk as is
I don’t like the interruptions while someone is in the middle of sharing life difficulties such as the man sharing a near death experience related to sexual desire. It’s important to Listen .. especially if all these men say their love language is communication. Overall I really enjoyed listening to what each had to share. Thank you for offering these insights into peoples experiences.
Wow, that was one of the best episodes. I love the transparency.
I love that men are being open and candid about the subjects discussed in this series
This was good!!! Thank y'all for being so vulnerable and transparent!
Thank you so much for the sincerity to be willing to share your life experience you are for sure helping a lot of black women like me. To learn from black men point of view makes me understand the attitudes and behaviours.Thanks so much.
I’ve been looking for this! I’m here to listen and learn. Thank you for inviting me in.
Thank you gentlemen for sharing. So many of us out hear scared to say all you did. I’m still a firm believer in love and commitment. My kids deserve a solid foundation and family model and that starts with my partner and I. Let’s stop this baby momma / baby daddy culture. 👏🏻
So appreciative of the honesty and candor here
So refreshing to watch. Thank you Kings, love from Nigeria🇳🇬❤️
So blessed by this conversation. The book Adventist Home is a good one; it includes some eye opening statements about marriage and correlates with some of the things that were discussed in this video
Why y'all cut mans in the pink shirt like that. He was speaking big fax.
Very, it’s only the one in the middle, he tends to cut everyone off instead of allowing them to speak. A bit annoying
@Ap G guy in middle is HIGHLY ANNOYING
@wallstreetpaper , thank you for facilitating this in depth conversation about commitment. It is refreshing to hear a male's perspective on this topic.
This was a real conversation between men. Thanks for the transparency
I love love love hearing the first man speak and when he is at the table.
Yes Kings 👑!!!! Here for this👩🏽💻
Just blessed my little ears! Love this conversation!
I like this type of talks, keep them coming..
These are very powerful and insightful conversations 👏👌🙌
💎dropping gems.. This was great!
It the honest for me.. Thank you black men's...
Great video and a lot of wisdom guys 👍🏽
Well spoken gentlemen! Sending love ❤️ from Dallas.
I needed this and captures a ton of my thoughts
Check out
Relationship talk uncut Uncensored
It's a pod cast on relationships with 2 guys and 2 women. Very good
"A wife bringing out the best in you"...(being the missing piece)....that part
This was so good!!
LOVE THIS!!
Excellent conversation brothas.
I loved this! Very transparent
Love it!!! 🙌🏾
I stumbled on this. But GOD! Very Good, Subscribed
The ALCHEMIST IS THE BEST BOOK EVER!!!!💪💪💪🙌🙏
The host needs to realize that he has a MIC on! He always makes jokes, laughs, or comments, in the middle of someone telling a story that we all want to hear and then we don’t get to hear it anymore. Let them talk!!!
Agreed! I was thinking the same thing 😔 Let your guests finish their complete thought without interrupting with jokes. Great segment as usual 🙏🏽
Love this 💞🙏
honesty best policy thank you guys for all
The man second from the right is 🔥- what a great dialogue!
Great honest conversation!
Real men talk. I like this!
It took courage for him to disclose that accident, and glad he did. I agree that that disclosure could possibly save a life💛
Awesome conversation!
Guys well done...thanks for being honest
This was a great conversation. I hope the guy in the middle changes his thoughts about marriage...and then sends me a DM lmao.
Kings🤴 conversations 💯
BlackMEN building, talk, that's important, praise God
When he said is that a hole in the wall 😂😂😂
Family and kids are a huge spiritual and financial responsibility.
Another excellent segment. We all have been brainwashed into thinking we need to get married. But like the brother pointed out we need to know ourselves first. Commitment is scary but, self love and acceptance is the most powerful. Thanks for the video.
great conversation
Men aren't the only ones with commitment issues!
Black Jacket.. I loooove your voice.
Wow!!! @Stephon was 🔥🔥🔥
We have prepared our children for children, marriage and relationships from childhood. We gotta stop doing life haphazardly.
Intelligent men. Bravo.
I think I understand Timon on another level. I was raised in that type of family where we don't say "I love you", "I'm sorry", my parents would jst buy gifts to apologise. I was more reserved, still am. I'm single because all the guys I've met happen to be what I term 'broken souls'. They've been hurt, cheated on, abused and do not want to let go. At first, I see the things I like in them but as time goes by I'm just like hell no. I'm out! Because they'd portray those bad actions that were done to them to me. So, wow! I'm in the waiting😊 anyone else in the waiting?
Black shirt: "Is that a hole in the wall?"💀
Other guy: Squirrel 😩🤣🤣🤣
Great show. Love it. I think one of the reasons men don't want to commit for "fear of missing out" is because older men can date for a long time, even if they are 50, they can still date 30 or 40 year old women. For women, it's harder. Passed a certain age we have more difficulty finding a man, mostly because of society's view on older women and younger men. It's accepted that 50 year old men can date 30 year old women. But the opposite is really not as accepted.
It’s always so interesting that the only container for seemingly having progressive loving relationships, that is promoted is solely seen as monogamy only. There are so many open honest and progressive ways to have loving relationships that don’t involve one on one partnership. Some folks are not built for monogamy and it doesn’t make them any less committed, loving, progressive, and spiritually mature. Other than that, it’s refreshing to hear the dialogue with men who are clear minded and vulnerable.
For me I see, it os either a person who is into a commited relationship or isn't. Either raised for loyalty or for autonomy. Mixing the two is a recipe for disaster. It is like, you cannot throw a sweet water fish into the sea.
Yes norm
Is there a way to watch this in full?
The gent in the middle cuts off very good and necessary conversation with his jokes. It takes away from the wisdom being shared.
Can the moderator please allow the others to finnish talking, annoying sometimes when they are getting to an interesting point or thought but you’re joking or laughing. Other than that, anazing insight from everyone. Thanks for these discussions! Interesting indeed
I enjoyed listening to you men speak your truths. It's interesting and it also helps me see that the bible really is mankind's blueprint.
💯
Those 5 year relationships are a dozy boy
The marriage is broken because she was never the one. The percentage is small for people who should be truly married.