My parents are so toxic that even though I want to love them, it just does not come out of the bottom of my heart. They are not also practicing Muslims. This is one of the hardest exams on earth to live with toxic parents.
Remember prophet Ibrahim and his father. And the quran still orders us to lower our wings for them in humility. And you being the best son and showing them true Islam in a gentle and kind way is the best form od dawah. May Allah guide them and us all.
Yes this is correct but Shaykhs need to address parents as well and tell them not to abuse their kids! It's not right we hear stories of parents abusing even killing their kids because they think they have the right to since it's their kids! No this is not correct as the kids are amanah from Allah s.w.t and should be treated with kindness and mercy! @imeverywhere9633
Same here but mine is practising. Despite knowing their deen they do a lot of wrong things. Troublemakers.. quarelsome.. backbitter.. they md my life a hell. But i kp my distance from em so they dont spoil my health.. despite all these i respect em. . .but i dont feel any love for em
This is my biggest test too I believe. It's sad, and what's worse is my parents don't like each other but live under the ssme roof. I was always the good child but almost reaching 30 and being at home has tested me in so many ways, it gets really hard.
SubhanalLah I could have written the same thing word for word, hang in there akhi let's keep praying for Allah to assist us in getting the best outcome with our parents
I'm going though the same thing. But my father doesn't even recognize my existence, we're two strangers linving under the same roof. Meanwhile my mother is nice, they don't talk at all.
SubhanAllah..! May Allah SWT protect us and our kids from getting this test and allow us Parents to be good role models to them, May Allah SWT bless us to love each other unconditional for the sake of his blessings and love...🤲🤲🤲
Make no mistake, in most cases when adult kids hate and resent their parents it’s because they: abused ( in many ways), neglected and were bad parents who should have never had children in the first place. Enough of covering up for crappy bad parents
@SpinozicTroll, Ameen. And before other people come here and start saying something like not all parents are so good or my parents are not good but they're bad, etc. Just please keep that between you and Allah and refrain from Backbiting, gossiping or slandering.
I don't like my parents either. My mother always gaslights me and pins my siblings against me. I am done with her tbh, i don't want to cut contact with her or my dad but i wanna keep a distance from them.
They will change, trust me. But it will take alot of time, i mean alot like 10 years or something. My parents were like these, My persistence logical talks and reasoning with them led to them questioning themselves and improving lot. Getting angry on them is the worst thing you can do. Start reasoning with them and make them question themselves.
Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatahu, many people in this comment section are either Gossiping, Back biting or Slandering their parents, siblings and/or relatives. This is haram. It is not aloowed to Backbite, Gossip or Slander in Islam and they can also be counted as Major Sins. So please nobody talk about themselves or their families more than what is needed as that might cause your good deeds to be taken away from you on the Day of Judgment to the person you had backbited. And you could also end up taking their bad deeds if all your good deeds are drained by them. So it's a very major sin that we should avoid at all costs. .. Please repost this, so that more people can know and keep it in mind.
I understand what you are saying and there still is something you can do for them which is sadaqah jariyah, although it's not the same as them being here, it still is showing kindness! Your prayers and sadaqah you make for your parents still count! Inshallah, may Allah ease our paths and forgive us and our parents.
Alhamdulillah, no matter how religious my parents were, they raised us well and if they were angry, I never scolded them. If someone wants to get married if they don't want to have children? That's better than having children, they will only be hurt💔😢don't get married or don't have children because the child will be difficult until they grow up and the resentment will be carried around 😢 The Parents who are savage may Allah guide them to the right path and they will love their child.🤲
Some people are just bad unfortunately. Some parents can even assault/SA or even kill their child. So it's not your fault, just uphold your end of their rights and Allah will reward you! May Allah make it easy for you.
Sometimes we wonder why X person is nuts/crazy then you meet X's parents and realize that X person is not so bad afterall 😅 it seems to come from whomever raised them or environment they were in. This is a possibility I've seen but of course doesn't apply to everyone you see.
It can happen. Some parents are brutal. They beat, berate, insult, and sometimes inhumane behavior. I am quiet and do not interact with them much. May be a call or two in a year.
Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatahu, Just a very important thing to point out is that even if they beat, insult or berate you, you are still obliged to keep ties with them and talk to them often not once in 6 months, try to do at least every 3 days at minimum, even if it's just a 1 minute call or just a single message saying Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatahu, or sending a Dua, or doing dua for them.
Its easy to say I don't like my parents,some use words like toxic...(how can we use such words to them whatsoever the reason) Soon we will be in their place and we will feel the same as they used to We don't know how good we will be to our children Its true parents behave strangely sometimes But it may be because of their health issue or because of loneliness or insecurity feeling Root cause are children in most cases
That is not a fair assesment at all. There are mothers and fathers who sexually abuse their children, slander them, hit them until they bleed, even kill them. This is not "strange" behaviour. This is insane. To blame the children is insane. Yes, some kids are bad. But there are forums with thousands of children and adults who's parents are narcissist, i.e. liars, abusers who ruin the child's life. Parents who have raped their child. "Soon we will be in their place and we will feel the same as they used to We don't know how good we will be to our children " there is a big difference between falling short sometimes as a parent, and straight up abusing them in a manner islam considers abuse. "But it may be because of their health issue or because of loneliness or insecurity feeling". Would you accept it from a child to have this excuse, that they are lonely and therefor berate their parents?
Uebgshwisbha allah is the one who gives them the ability ok. And please don't judge someone without being in their shoes. You don't know how mentally and life-ruining bad parenting can be. Just don't. Jazakallah. And say alhamdulillah you're not one of us. Alhamdulillah from my side also even if I'm in this scenario. Alhamdulillah.
@@nidaaffSalaam so true, no one knows or understands the hurt one is going through, unfortunately my life has been made hell by my own mother and brother since my dad passed away, only Allahtala knows the pain.
My parents are so toxic that even though I want to love them, it just does not come out of the bottom of my heart.
They are not also practicing Muslims.
This is one of the hardest exams on earth to live with toxic parents.
Remember prophet Ibrahim and his father.
And the quran still orders us to lower our wings for them in humility.
And you being the best son and showing them true Islam in a gentle and kind way is the best form od dawah.
May Allah guide them and us all.
Yes this is correct but Shaykhs need to address parents as well and tell them not to abuse their kids! It's not right we hear stories of parents abusing even killing their kids because they think they have the right to since it's their kids! No this is not correct as the kids are amanah from Allah s.w.t and should be treated with kindness and mercy! @imeverywhere9633
Ironic, isn't?
May Allah(swt) make it easy for you and guide you and your family to do whats good
Same here but mine is practising. Despite knowing their deen they do a lot of wrong things. Troublemakers.. quarelsome.. backbitter.. they md my life a hell. But i kp my distance from em so they dont spoil my health.. despite all these i respect em. . .but i dont feel any love for em
This is my biggest test too I believe. It's sad, and what's worse is my parents don't like each other but live under the ssme roof. I was always the good child but almost reaching 30 and being at home has tested me in so many ways, it gets really hard.
SubhanalLah I could have written the same thing word for word, hang in there akhi let's keep praying for Allah to assist us in getting the best outcome with our parents
I'm going though the same thing. But my father doesn't even recognize my existence, we're two strangers linving under the same roof. Meanwhile my mother is nice, they don't talk at all.
@cheikhmate Ameen
Alhamdulillah I have amazing parents, they made sacrifices for me to be here, without them I wouldn’t be the same person I am today
SubhanAllah..! May Allah SWT protect us and our kids from getting this test and allow us Parents to be good role models to them, May Allah SWT bless us to love each other unconditional for the sake of his blessings and love...🤲🤲🤲
Make no mistake, in most cases when adult kids hate and resent their parents it’s because they: abused ( in many ways), neglected and were bad parents who should have never had children in the first place. Enough of covering up for crappy bad parents
True facts indeed @@priusa8113
@@priusa8113exactly right. Let them rot in their old age
A very sensible answer!
My parents are kind to me Alhamdullah
Alhamdulillah may Allah preserve you and your family.
@SpinozicTroll, Ameen. And before other people come here and start saying something like not all parents are so good or my parents are not good but they're bad, etc. Just please keep that between you and Allah and refrain from Backbiting, gossiping or slandering.
Im surprised that was a sensible reply. I've seen many videos where they simply dismiss the childs suffering.... And say hadeeth accordingly
I don't like my parents either. My mother always gaslights me and pins my siblings against me. I am done with her tbh, i don't want to cut contact with her or my dad but i wanna keep a distance from them.
May Allah make it easier for you brother
They will change, trust me. But it will take alot of time, i mean alot like 10 years or something.
My parents were like these, My persistence logical talks and reasoning with them led to them questioning themselves and improving lot. Getting angry on them is the worst thing you can do. Start reasoning with them and make them question themselves.
@@AsifAnsari-nn8kk Not all parents have the same understanding like your parents...
@@AsifAnsari-nn8kk Not all parents have brains
@@MahirManazirNot all parents exist
Like spongebobs mom and dad
Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatahu, many people in this comment section are either Gossiping, Back biting or Slandering their parents, siblings and/or relatives. This is haram. It is not aloowed to Backbite, Gossip or Slander in Islam and they can also be counted as Major Sins. So please nobody talk about themselves or their families more than what is needed as that might cause your good deeds to be taken away from you on the Day of Judgment to the person you had backbited. And you could also end up taking their bad deeds if all your good deeds are drained by them. So it's a very major sin that we should avoid at all costs. .. Please repost this, so that more people can know and keep it in mind.
May Allah subhana wa ta'ala forgive us all and make us better parents. My chance to be a better child is over because my parents are gone.
I understand what you are saying and there still is something you can do for them which is sadaqah jariyah, although it's not the same as them being here, it still is showing kindness! Your prayers and sadaqah you make for your parents still count! Inshallah, may Allah ease our paths and forgive us and our parents.
Ameen
@SpinozicTroll By Prayers you mean Duas right?
After going through the comment section I had a sigh of relief to know that I am not the only one in the boat of the distressed children 😂😂😂
Preach, Sheikh! Allahu akbar!
Alhamdulillah, no matter how religious my parents were, they raised us well and if they were angry, I never scolded them.
If someone wants to get married if they don't want to have children? That's better than having children, they will only be hurt💔😢don't get married or don't have children because the child will be difficult until they grow up and the resentment will be carried around 😢
The Parents who are savage may Allah guide them to the right path and they will love their child.🤲
This happens when parents think they’re on the same level as their kids. They need to know the parents are parents , not kids.
If I'm good obeying my parents what makes them not liking us what is the reason behind this.
Some people are just bad unfortunately. Some parents can even assault/SA or even kill their child. So it's not your fault, just uphold your end of their rights and Allah will reward you! May Allah make it easy for you.
Sometimes we wonder why X person is nuts/crazy then you meet X's parents and realize that X person is not so bad afterall 😅 it seems to come from whomever raised them or environment they were in.
This is a possibility I've seen but of course doesn't apply to everyone you see.
It can happen. Some parents are brutal. They beat, berate, insult, and sometimes inhumane behavior. I am quiet and do not interact with them much. May be a call or two in a year.
Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatahu, Just a very important thing to point out is that even if they beat, insult or berate you, you are still obliged to keep ties with them and talk to them often not once in 6 months, try to do at least every 3 days at minimum, even if it's just a 1 minute call or just a single message saying Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatahu, or sending a Dua, or doing dua for them.
Its easy to say I don't like my parents,some use words like toxic...(how can we use such words to them whatsoever the reason)
Soon we will be in their place and we will feel the same as they used to
We don't know how good we will be to our children
Its true parents behave strangely sometimes
But it may be because of their health issue or because of loneliness or insecurity feeling
Root cause are children in most cases
That is not a fair assesment at all. There are mothers and fathers who sexually abuse their children, slander them, hit them until they bleed, even kill them. This is not "strange" behaviour. This is insane. To blame the children is insane. Yes, some kids are bad. But there are forums with thousands of children and adults who's parents are narcissist, i.e. liars, abusers who ruin the child's life. Parents who have raped their child.
"Soon we will be in their place and we will feel the same as they used to
We don't know how good we will be to our children " there is a big difference between falling short sometimes as a parent, and straight up abusing them in a manner islam considers abuse.
"But it may be because of their health issue or because of loneliness or insecurity feeling". Would you accept it from a child to have this excuse, that they are lonely and therefor berate their parents?
It's easy to say something like this when you haven't been a child to abusive oppressive parents!
The Kashmiri accent 😅
We only know 1 side of the story. They raised him..
Uebgshwisbha allah is the one who gives them the ability ok. And please don't judge someone without being in their shoes. You don't know how mentally and life-ruining bad parenting can be. Just don't. Jazakallah. And say alhamdulillah you're not one of us. Alhamdulillah from my side also even if I'm in this scenario. Alhamdulillah.
@@nidaaffSalaam so true, no one knows or understands the hurt one is going through, unfortunately my life has been made hell by my own mother and brother since my dad passed away, only Allahtala knows the pain.
Some parents deserve no respect nor love. However it is our duty to be on their side. It has nothing to do with one's feelings.