HITMAN: ABSOLUTION (Zero Punctuation)
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Hitman: Absolution.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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Fully agree with the score tracker. It makes me feel like I'm doing everything wrong on the first try like I was supposed to know.
Sounds like my father
@@DecisiveZoom you'll eventually have to talk to him, heart to heart if you ever want to find peace with him
That Dam Score tracker! I got Silent Assassin in one of them, by crushing my target with a safe as he was taking a piss. Then, walking back to the exit, I got 'tresspasser' and lost like 1,200 points. Cue crazed rampage, where I murdered everyone. The passer-bys, the police, the market stall workers, the SWAT that arrived, more of the SWAT, and then finally myself.
haha, it is such a fucking retarded feature, innit?
Hjernespreng Not really. It's meant to add challenge while not being overly demanding, as you are never forced to do it.
The Addiction 2 it still makes me feel like shit, i think yahtzee was right to put it in when you do a second run through or at least give people the option to disable it
1:31-1:37 Yahtzee predicted the "plot twist" in Batman v Superman three years early.
Wait, so both Batman and Superman are scared of theme park mascots?
The Nightcorien Geek Might as well be.
I KNEW IT THEY BECAME FRIENDS NOT BECAUSE THEIR MOTHERS SHARED THE SAME NAME. THEY WERE JUST IRRATIONAL IDIOTS SCARED OF MASCOTS
He also called the new death star with 3 lasers and basically jinxed in Bayonetta onto SSB. It's unbelievable.
except noy
i love how the voices tell him to seek therapy.
The therapy comment at the end actually made me chuckle out loud. Which is unfortunate because my oral surgery makes laughing hurt. So now my mouth is bleeding. Thanks +1
Well that went downhill fast...
huh
I was one of those lunatics that held a few top-ten records on these levels, so, that said, you didn't have to lose score for knocking people out. You lose 100 for the knockout, but simultaneously gain 50 if undetected, then another 50 if you hide the body. So, you could methodically knock out every enemy on the level for a grand total of... 0 points. Tada, stellar scoring system.
My main gripe was the focus meter. I kind of liked the old style where getting too close to a guard or moving suspiciously set him off, not having to press a button and hope he walks past you fast enough that your magic juice doesn't run out.
beep "That's 47 get him!"
I love this game but the disguise system is fucked, it's Silent Assassin levels broken
Nate Richards Silent Assassin?
Blue Shell Hitman 2: Silent Assassin. Basically the disguises in that game are so bad and glitchy i've lost count of how many times I walked into a room in a disguise acting normal only to hear either "OPEN FIRE" or to have everyone run away
Nate Richards Oh, I see. So basically how the TF2 disguise should work?
Blue Shell It's like the disguise system in TF2 if when disguising yourself, a huge text appears saying "HE'S A SPY" hovering over your head
Blazer Ashbringer That sounds like it could work, I'll give it a try. Cheers
I thought he put a bandaid on the bar code because he cut? Obviously not entirely, since you can see it, but I do remember a scene that involved a sharp object and blood going down his head early on in the game.
That's why for the first few bits, the bandaid is bloody.
To be honest, 47 actually cut off the barcode
I'm sorry, i took a nap halfway through your comment. So I'm pretty sure you're congratulating me on my astoundingly concise and accurate synopsis of the hitman franchise. Well I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Can't believe you didn't mention that stupid level in the fog near the end where you have to avoid a maze of mines laid on the roof as if any person would ever do that on the roof of a building, or has any logic linked to it, not to mention the fact it didn't fit in with any of the previous missions
***** So does spice
"I get enough of that from the voices"
"Could you at least give therapy a chance?"
no
Only flaw i saw in Absolution was: i could not pick my own load-outs from mission to mission..
Didn't stop me from buying the collectors edition that was gathering dust at my local game-stop for about 14$
not to mention.. your a killer.. killing should give you points..
if you kill all, no one talk.. idk, maybe its just me.
***** the point of being an assassin is you go in undetected, kill your target and make him 'disappear', and leave before anyone realizes that the dust has moved
assassins come in their own way.. some kill only the target.. some wipe out the block.. i sir, wipe out a 2mile radius, so i feel as though it should not be deducted. as long as i dont get caught i dont see the issue. =D
One thing i find weird is that in this stealth game, Agent 47 can take way more bullets than Adam Jensen in Deus Ex: HR, which is supposed to be either a stealth game or shooter, depending on how you want to play it.
In my first playthrough of Absolution, in the strip blub level, I literally walked up to the guy, while he was surrounded by other bartenders and people who went there, shot him dead, and still waited almost a minute before someone saw he was dead.
The best thing about Zero Punc's vids on youtube is that can finally read his parting snarky remarks without the pause thing obscuring the way :D
I was totally that person who always had to set the high score for a level. I actually made it into the top ten globally for one of the more difficult ones.
I'm glad you enjoyed my entirely accurate synopsis. But there's no need to keep praising it in such worshipful tones. Despite my obvious talent in recalling story-lines with complete and total fidelity, it does not qualify me as your deity.
The best way to play this game is to set the difficulty to purist so you don't have the score counter or instinct and just try to get through each level alive.
the other problem with purist mode is that the stealth is heavily broken and the disguise system is fucking pointless since u get spotted slower in ur suit than the actual uniform you just put on to disguise yourself with.
Except you still have instinct. You just don't have the gui element mana bar for it.
3:30
Actually the Sniper canonically takes pills that make him LESS continent so he can refill his Jarate jars faster.
I'm not making this up.
aproved
What I liked about the old Hitman was that you had the option of killing the main target and no one else, but Absolution forces you to kill everybody IT tells you to. And you have to kill TONS of people because that's all that game execs think that gamers want out of life.
"Absolution forces you to kill everybody IT tells you to"
Which, incidentally, would be the main targets, and no one else. It is possible to have a clean run in every mission. Killing others, or leaving them alone is your choice.
Christoph Brinkmann There are 4 people in the first mission that you must kill in the bullet time tutorial but other than that your definitely right.
Jimmy De'Souza I'm to awful at playing stealth games on high difficulties so I never knew that. Huh.
Jimmy De'Souza I wasn't a big fan of Absolution, but following around that guy for the first time, trying to find good spots to kill him and then realizing, "Shit, there's no one around, let's just kill him now", snapping his neck, and tossing him into the dumpster he was peeing on, was the first time in the series where I felt like a badass assassin.
Maybe it's just how I played Blood Money, but half the time when I got through the mission I was like, "Well, I did it, I guess. That was pretty sloppy."
Christoph Brinkmann I think hes talking about the broken stealth mechanics and disguise system that 99% of the time forces you to shoot through some sections.
Although Blood Money is my favorite, i still liked Absolution a bunch, even though it changed they had to do it because of the people who weren't that much in Hitman series and made it more mainstream for today's audience. But if you knock up the difficulty and try to remain unseen without killing anyone than the actual target, the game still has that hardcore old timey taste to it. It was made for noobs and pro's equally and it succeeded in it, which imo is pretty unique in gaming industry.
Then why call it Hitman anyway? When people are not interested in a certain game with a certain playstyle, why change of just for that audience? That makes no sense, its like saying "duh Splinter Cell is a Stealth game but its too difficulty for the Call of Duty audience so lets make it CoD with Splinter Crll slapped on it duh"
Suwat Saksri
You know why? Money.
borko3fkovixAC exactly
I don't think Hitman is hardcore, well maybe the first two, but Contracts and Blood Money are not hardcore, to justify that, I should say that I spent dozens if not hundreds of hours in Contracts and Blood Money(definitely hundreds of ours with Blood Money). I also don't think Hitman should be like splinter cell, where you must ghost through and not be seen by anyone. The best part about Blood Money and Contracts is that social stealth aspect, instead of being unseen you got to blend in, get a disguise, explore the level, plan out your assassination and then try and execute your plan, that was fun. In Absolution, you just go in and kill your target, levels are too small and closed down to allow for any kind of planning, exploration is gone, now you cannot be seen for more than 5 seconds, it's basically Splinter Cell. Which is to say, it's not a bad game, it's just a bad Hitman game.
I've seen some news about the next installment, as much as I remember, the developers said they are bringing back the sandbox, proper big sandbox, which is good, if they stick to their word and go through with. Damn, I wish for another Blood Money type of Hitman game, because by this point Blood Money's been completed many many many times, most if not all interactions discovered, would be good to get a new real Hitman game.
fucking hate the score tracker, should be taken off at lower difficulties. Not saying I want to go guns blazing through the missions, but when theres a guy in the way of my objective then I should be able to choke him out without worrying about a fucking score.
Lol return of the mad ocelot god near the end there. Love how yahtzee references past reviews xD
I have been watching his videos for a year now, and only now do I realize that... Well done.
Only thing I remember from this game is allot of Bloom. Lots and lots of fucking Bloom. And also the broken disguise system and that annoying score counter.
I just felt the map was linear. I had to run through dodging guards then get to the area that has the target. It wasn't an open world it was a straight line with a target at the end.
As much as I love Yahtzee's misanthropy, I do demand some accuracy. The reason 47 shot his old handler, Dianna, even though he didn't want to was because it was a contract. He ALWAYS finishes his contracts. He protected the girl because, again, it was a contract from Dianna in exchange for her forgiveness. (At least, I think that was the 'pay') He was bred to fill out his contracts with no regard to his personal feelings or desires and to do it well.
do you have any evidence for that?
that's what I thought.
I wonder if those kung fu super nuns teach domestic science at the all girls school during off hours
"I wouldn't stay my blade just because my target was also afraid of theme park mascots"
Let me introduce you to a movie called "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice"
So close to a million!
Just want to step in and say that it's understandable that you lose points for knocking someone out, because that provides evidence, and would cause a lot of alert if the unconscious body was found.
It's why you gain the exact same amount of points back for hiding a body - you're forgiven if you clean up after yourself.
No it is shit.
@@Cosimia reason?
I had a fun time with Absolution,the only things holding back for me was the non-existing loadout setup between mission,linear levels,but the worst thing had to be not having a sniper suitcase.
Oh don't you start telling me I have a problem! I get enough of that from the voices thank you very much!
so this could almost have a bit of a dream web design of puzzle solving ?
he didnt just put a bandaid over his barcode, he cut it off
yup
He did not cut it off, it was just symbolical.
McAkkeezz there is a scee in the game where he takes a knife to the back of his head and he throws a flap of skin into the sink as well as blood. he cut it off.
+blockhead134 He did not cut it off completely, he just disfigured it.
+blockhead134 +McAkkeezz He only cut off 2 numbers the 47 at the end (hence the blinky red icon at the start of every mission). It does not help the fact that there is still a huge fucking barcode on the back of his head.
Getting away from the scanner police is piss easy, just get rid of one vertical line on your barcode and you're golden. Because several years of retail work taught me a barcode doesn't register if one of the lines is missing.
I'm surprised he didn't mention the fact that the "agency" is wiped out by 47 at least once a game by this point. I swear that was the plot of at least two other hitman games.
One thing about Yahtzee's reviewing technique, is that if you are so relentlessly cutting and sardonic about anything you can make it seem... well, shit. I seriously love his deadpan delivery but I kinda worry about viewers who take his words as serious determinants in whether a game is worth their time or money.
A lot of people say his reviews is just bashing, so I guess your worry is very well justified. I love his reviews, he is very insightful. The grindhouse remark, for example, is pretty clever. It explains many of the choices they made for the story that just didn't make much sense to me before.
Klamath2046 Yes! that is a distinction that seems lost in videogame journalism.
For me personally I weigh the pros n cons when he reviews a game and decide from there wether I think the game is worth my time and money believe it or not I've been generally pleased with the outcomes
He presents his biases pretty well, so it's not like he claiming to be absolutely right when he talks about a game. DWarren's strategy of weighing the pros and cons works because Yahtzee usually doesn't give an overall rating. He just gives you an idea of whats in it and how he feels about it
Luckily it's not too hard to figure out whenever or not a game is fairly good or an absolute turd
no. this is the best intro music in the world. it deserves to be turned up way past 11.
It never actually passed my mind until you said it.
This is the thirst time I've watched this, and every single time my mouse has traveled instinctively to the home button after "So I guess what I'm saying is Absolution is several degrees better than a fish skeleton down the cockhole". It just sounds so much like a Yahtzee-style conclusion, my brain can't help itself.
This is a really good review of this game, he just said everything I thought when I played this game.
A floating invisible ocelot telling him to give therapy a chance.
Awesome.
the bar, you can pull a lever start a bar fight and beat up kane, lynch is at the shooting range aswell
This is my favorite Yatzee video. I watch it almost daily.
Exactly. We play Hitman in the same way. It feels much better to go in kill my target/s and then get out without anyone knowing I was there than it does to play a linear corridor shooter.
I love u bro, and i think you're a great person. Merry Christmas.
Patience is a virtue.
I have these headsets on and they are screwed up... They gave you a deep robot voice. Plus your accent was so freakin funny with that... :D
The thing I like to do the most in hitman is kill everyone off without anyone seeing me, picking people off one by one is incredibly fun.
"Could you at least give therapy a chance?" Hahah. That got me.
yathzee don't worry about the voices u only have to worry when u ask if ur crazy and not even the voices can say no without bursting out in laughter
Hurray! More Zero Punctuation, one of the few good things this channel uploads...
I love the intro!! Please just tweak the volume for these whiny ones and leave the same intro... Because it's amazing
I finished hitman absolution with $-9,000. Just because I killed the henchmen along with the targets, while still being stealthy.
Watch ALL the videos! AGAIN!
professor farnsworth walks in the room.
pf: GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, hitman is returning to the old formula for the next hitman game.
If I remember right, the previous games had a 'suspicion metre' that would let you know when your disguise was going to be blown, and the aiming being bad is more a feature than a bug - it discourages running and gunning through the level, right?
Even discounting the vastly more organic feel of Blood Money, compared to Absolution's arbitrary story focus, there is one fact one can't dispute from personal esperience: Blood Money is much easier on the eyes for those of us not playing on a HDTV
Assasins sneak to kill people possibly to make it looks like a mistake, Hitmen make sure that everyone knows it was a murder, and Rambo makes sure everyone that ever existed in the same space as the target is dead.
Close. Thomas Ruff is the photographer's name. The man pictured is presumably one of his relatives.
That mention of TF2 really caught me off guard, a rather pleasant surprise.
The thing about Hitman Blood money, is that it was much easier to go into a level and find 2 or 3 different way to complete your objective, just by hanging out in certain areas or walking around. Absolution.. I kept feeling like I was dumb for not noticing some ways to take out targets.. then I realized "Oh.. There is only 1 way unlike Blood money.." Other times the game was holding my hand showing me EXACTLY what to do with no room for creativity. And the disguise system.. Totally broken here.
I was really hoping he'd mention Kane & Lynch in there somewhere.
Uhh, I'd just like to point out (SPOILER) that the "change of heart" is not, in fact, a change of heart and is well explained at the ending. The rest of the video's spot on.
ok i looked for the vid and found several copys of many vids. by the sound of it im looking for one with a guy. and once again thanks
Yahtzee you have no idea how hard these games actually are when you play them by the book on the hardest difficulty.In hitman 2 you couldn't come anywhere near someone or they'd just freak out about you being bald,and having a face only a mother could love.
It's like he was going to cut off the barcode, but just kind of cut it, stuck a band aid across it and let it heal back by the end of the game.
"Do it again... But better!"
Someone was watching tron recently...
Absolution was good because it forced you think about what you were going to do, in Blood Money 47 had a fucking medicine cabinet hidden in his suit with syringes full of sleeping formula or poison. In Absolution, you have to plan ahead otherwise you'll miss your opportunity to kill your target (or targets) in a way that looks like a freak accident and the fact that you're reduced to nothing but your bare hands after escaping the hotel and you have to use a extension cord flex to garrote people shows that 47 is a true professional no matter what. Hate all you want but IO interactive show us why other assassin game series like the AC series pale in comparison to Agent 47's big bald shadow.
blood money made you think a ton more, walk into a room disguise as a guard but carry the wrong weapon and BAM you're dead, you couldn't really fight your way out of a situation and one more thing... YOU COULDN'T HIDE A SHOTGUN IN YOUR SUIT
4 syringes is hardly a medicine cabinet, and how exactly do you have to plan ahead when the game gives you free wallhacks that show where everyone is going? Blood Money required in-depth study of guard patrols and lines of sight, whereas Absolution was just a linear killfest in comparison.
I don't think you can but Assassin's Creed in with Hitman besides "assassination". They have their own styles.
Assassin's Creed is assassinating like a swooping eagle, jumping in abosolutely flawless ~maybe~ avoiding guards. While Hitman is assassinating as the man behind the curtain, you kill your target while your not even in the room because you've set up a deathtrap.
blood money was soooo much better than absolution,,,, just because of the amount of handholding found in absolution.... giving you a small linear area and saying "which of these 4 methods will you use to kill 'this guy'"...
whereas blood money gives you a huge open area and says "here's your target, do whatever"
only graphics whores would prefer absolution and its COD style -on-the-rails- type of gameplay typical of this inbred generation of casual facebook gamers who need onscreen prompts to be able to do ANYTHING.
TheTwistedbeaver I been gaming for over 30 years and hate games like COD so keep your BS assumptions to yourself. Also, I never said Blood Money was bad and still stand by the fact that Hitman is one the few series that hasn't been ruined by modern gaming yet. Hitman is great and you aren't, now move along little boy.
Hitman can make it look like an accident as well, there are various mechanics in the game dedicated to achieving this. In fact you score higher if you make it look like an accident, so one would think that Hitman is actively trying to make it NOT seem like a murder.
47 has always had a soft spot for innocence. He's befriended real nuns, priests, and children before. It's not out of character for him.
I wonder if the subtle reference at 1:54 was intentional.
Why couldn't 47 just put the plaster on his head WITHOUT the semi-successful cutting of his scalp? (i say semi-successful because he failed) . Or the master of disguises could wear a wig, or fucking spray paint the barcode - anything that made better sense
guys
he had a tracker under the barcode and he cut it out
Terrorstanius Terror you've commented on every person who didn't know there was a tracker. A+ for effort, mate.
Kalo Kertesz gotta help inform my niggas
Wasn't the previous hitman games scoring system too?
Professional , Silent assassin ranks etc
I posted this 3 weeks ago...and he did one recently, so I already know
this is the FIRST time EVER seeing a yahzee video under 100,000 views. THE WORLDS COMIN TO AN END
I played it, did the same thing, and dragged his body around directly in front of 3 other people (just for laughs), none of which noticed, but as soon as I put him in a dark corner away from people, someone started freaking out.
I see that metroinds never gets old =3
Yes. At first I hated the new disguise system but now I think it is for the best. Before it was enough ti kill one of the guards and you are able to go and do whatever you want with that disguise.
Spot on assessment, Yahtzee. And quite funny as hell as well.
Agent 47 didn't put a band-aid over his barcode. He cut off the skin that had the barcode on it then put a band-aid over the wound
If I followed the plotline right (I'm two years late to the comment party. . .) he cut his bar-code off, then put the bandage on it. Yeah. Some cleverness to Agent 47.
But you can still see the barcode.
He self mutilated for the sake of it.
linkno1 he cut out the tracker under the barcode
I love Absolution but I completely agree that the constant tally in the corner is annoying. Sometimes, some more interesting kills require some less-than-perfect tactics but watching your score plummet into negative territory really discourages you from even trying them.
Not to mention "the less you care"!
Give that guy a medal
He left one thing out, others of the same job will spot you.
Will definitely be taking 1:59 and using it as my Steam avatar.
He did a review and he liked it.
I feel my vocabulary increasing while I watch these videos...
Yet you still cannot deny any of my points, and I was not "hating" I simply went by what you said in your comment. Which basically boils down to "Hitman: Absolution is better because it hold my hand, and gives me more room for error."
not obsessed, most of the early cartoons like bugs and donald where actually aimed at both kids and adults. Also applies to mascots, most platform games in the 90's(croc, sonic, mario, donkey kong, sly cooper, spyro the dragon, crash bandicoot) and early 2000's. Anubis for example, ancient egypt. Comic books movies, stories.....
CLORSH
Oh my god, I lost my shit at that.
he actually cut off the barcode and then covered the wound with a plaster
Totally agree.
I was about to say the same thing, well said sir.
He did, on the 12th.
Agent 47's in Gryffindor huh? I guess that makes sense