Should You STOP DATING if You’re Broke?
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- Опубліковано 30 чер 2024
- I got the honor of having a quality convo with my friend Stephan Labossiere-aka Stephan Speaks-who’s an author, speaker and certified relationship coach who helps people heal from their past trauma and improve ALL their relationships (including their relationship with God). We went deep into what men and women need to understand about each other, the right way to heal, and what it really means to be “high value.” I know this episode will encourage you guys!
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Hey, fam! I’m Anthony. I’m fired up about meeting you where you are in a real, relevant, and relatable way. Here on this UA-cam channel, we’ll be having honest conversations about finding our authentic selves by living life based on spiritual, financial, and mental freedom. At the age of 19-homeless and deep in debt-I turned my life around by becoming debt-free, and I decided to spend the rest of my life helping people avoid the same money mistakes I made. Today, by the grace of God, that’s what I’m doing every day with AO Enterprise. You can rock with me on Instagram @AnthonyONeal or online at anthonyoneal.com.
I would say dating while broke can keep you broke as well
Try to tell my nephew this all the time . Can't move forward if spending alot on his girlfriend
@@rogers5622 Spending is only one part of the equation. They steal your time too, which could have been used to earn more money.
@@Anonymous-md2qpDouble attack, like a sandwich, bread toast on both sides... You spend money that you earned through your hard work, and also all the time spent with, and about her: Planning dates, reservations, etc... On the other hand if you were a workaholic at least you would be earning money and you wouldn't have time to spend it. Both are unhealthy extremes but the latter serves your purpose, not hers.
Keep grinding brothers
It's simple. Eat rice and beans. Get a second job for the weekend for your girl. You'll be able to an Instagram model no problem for 2 years. But if you don't advance your salary to $60k and above your dead meat!
Well said my bro
If you broke you should go to work….Not date
I'm 14 & this is deep
Then get deppresion and go AWOL. Yes, really great advice.
@@zaneshark it’s the sh** I tell u, I dig it.😅
A psychiatrist will cure your depression, a girlfriend will make your situation even worse. Trust.
Do you know what's worse than dating when you're financially broke?... Dating when you're spiritually and mentally broke. That's a whole other topic though...
But so true Sealz!! See many people miss or overlook what you speak of but it’s crucial. It’s more than money. Yes money matters too but people need to heal. Wholeness is important. We can work on getting the money but let’s get healthy and whole mind, body, and spirit.
@@joycewatt800 you said all truths there Joyce! 👑
I feel attacked
@@superduperjoi6800 lol no dont be like that, you got this, just gotta make a lil tweak here and there for your own peace of mind
Yep yep
Having dated a broke man i can attest to this , you lose respect, you resent him it's frustrating
Exactly we’ll said, never date a man who has less than you. Only date men who have what you have or better.
Yes it is.... This so called relationship is draining.... He got mad when I told him that he has pull himself out of the gutter..... Yep I lost respect for him.
@@leelee185Wow, so can’t he has less than you, his money doesn’t make him who he are!
@@dcalex2425 I dated someone who had less than me and the issue with that is I would help him out and he began to take advantage of my kindness and became to comfortable with it and I felt used. So I no longer date women who have less than me.
As a chronic dater of broke men I can say all of this is very true… so glad I let go of my fix-a-dude mentality. Praise the Lord for deliverance!
It's codependency, that's my issue, most of these behaviors start in childhood. People pleasers mentality. Think about the relationships that you had with your caregivers and family.
What do you care? As a woman you don't have to pay for anything.
you dated broke dudes because a big wallet cant push your guts.
@@jenniferhaynes8625 therapy can be helpful.
I wish I can afford therapy. I need to budget better. My mom is an alcoholic and I am very codependent now. God help me
As a broke dude who's been in a long term relationship, I take this as a sign to start working on myself.
You can be broke still dating
You right famo we have to put something on the table if I can't do that im not dating either
Good luck to you
Us real women will definitely show appreciation.❤
Give that woman an award. You truly don’t understand how hard it can be to be with a broke dude. Especially when he stays broke the entire relationship 😂
Agree, let's work on ourselves mentally and financially before dating anyone.
🎯🎯
truth
I should.
No doubt
Yup, dating while broke is a complete drain mentally and emotionally. I don't understand why anyone would even want to date in that situation. Being single is the VERY least of your problems
I agree. Not only can dating expensive but if you're worried about your finances, it's distracting. There's no way a body can enjoy wining and dining if you don't have the cash for rent.
Facts!
Facts
You don’t want your brokenness to be dictating your decision. That’s line got me laughing. If you are broke, dating should be the last thing on your mind.
Yes but some people still do, sadly enough
Exactly
Making babies too
People try to fill voids instead of deal with their issues
As a broke dude, I approve of this message
😂💀
🤣
@Alfsnowball I totally understand where you’re coming from, but don’t speak that to the Universe.
as another broke dude, i also approve this message 😂
When I was broke, I didn't feel right tryna get at a female. My brother can't pay his phone bill n still chasin' pu$$y
I'm not broke but I'm not where I want to be, so I'll wait until the time is right before I start dating.
If you're broke, your priority should be finding a job (or a better job).
You can’t just snap your finger and get a good paying job lol. Here in Miami majority of jobs pay minimum wage…
It don’t matter what type of job you get if you don’t know how to manage your money you gonna stay broke that simple
Get a job and then invest correctly, then you’ll be good
@@onpoint4227 ikr straight facts you smart
@@Rashaadthegr8 true
I dated a broke guy before and it was a disaster I was always paying for stuff and spending money to help him and he was not even worth all the headache and in addition to being broke he had nothing to offer and brought nothing to the table. As time when on I started to resent him and decided to end things. If your not financially stable and your life is not in order do not bring a woman in your life.
In your city, what’s the salary number that makes a man no longer broke?
Hear to this ladies! It's the truth, I unfortunately married to a broke man who used religion to pressure me into marriage, once married I was the one looking jobs for him while he wasted our money as if we were millionaires. I went from not having debt to owing to different people and Banks which I am still playing on my own, even after we got separated. Unfortunately I didn't have in hand this valuable information ♡
Don't see if there's potential in a person, see if there are results!
How did he pressure you to married him when he is broke 🤔🤔🤔🤔. Both partners should also have a separate bank account
If you could've done better, you would have. That man was your vibrational match
@@maitai3539 religious pressure, he ask my mother for her help as we were already living together. She is very religious so she helped him, telling me he had potential if I just supported him. She was the one to tell me to divorce him 6 months later
@@mfit7110 You obviously don't know what it is like to be manipulated mentally and emotionally by the person who should protect you the most, a mother. I was doing awesome before him, and I am doing amazing now single, thank you. And no he was not my vibrational match, I thought I was helping him reach higher, but eventually just became the mom of a lazy man. I didn't want to reject him just because he was going through a difficult time, but it was him who didn't care of getting out of that situation, unfortunately that's not something you can realize right away
@@sofiasoto2214 I RESPECT YOUR CHOICE BECAUSE OF RELIGIOUS REASONS AND YOUR MOTHER. BY CHOICE A WOMAN SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BUILD A MAN,HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO OUT IN THE WORLD BUILD AND COMPETE AGAINST OTHER MEN.
Yes, your money is a reflection of your lifestyle/decision making.
"Men tend to pick women based on where they are (financially)". That's an interesting point. 🤔
Cause they dont like the ones who are financially well off, they want the broke ones or the ones that live in the projects so they can feel “needed” smh
So men are choosing women with money? So feminine
He’s righttttt. Having dated with a broke man.
I was happy to help him because I loved him a lot but at the same time I was a bit depressed because I was feeling worried,stressed and drained. Also I couldn’t imagine bright future because money can limit so many things and the only thing I could imagine for our future was surviving as we were doing.
He ended up dumping me and I think it was for the best. I wouldn’t have been able to do because I was so obsessed over him.
Now I’m much happier and have ambitions and hopes. I focus on my career because I learnt lesson from him and I don’t wanna be staying broke when I get to his age.
I think I still like him as a person but I realized love can’t cover everything to have a good relationship and I just don’t think dating with someone who is broke is wise.
What if you were broke? Should I date you ?
What’s the number that makes you broke? How much money is enough?
I agree. Also when you date someone who is broke or who isn’t in the financial position to really have a good time outside of the house it becomes frustrating. For me it’s like oh wow this person is kind and really nice but oh we aren’t on the same page. So I literally end up going to all of the places I enjoy with my homegirls and family while they have to stay at home because they can’t afford to go. A relationship can’t last long term like that because it gets boring. Like if I want us to enjoy an activity then I would have to pay for the both of us. I don’t do that. So it’s a no for me.
What you said up there has nothing to do with subject period:::
Where you live, what’s the minimum he has to earn to not be considered broke?
The guest is 💯 right! I dated an extremely attractive man who wasn’t as established as I was. I tried to overlook the dynamic, but it just didn’t work. There was a lack of respect subconsciously on my end; and resentment on his end. Never again!
I think it’s important to have a line between someone who is broke and someone who is working on setting themselves up for the future. Many of the couples I know who have been married 30 + years started out as young people who were young in their careers and living with their family still. I don’t think living with family means you’re broke. I think it’s sad that people think that way. Just look at how they use their time /resources and the reasons for doing what they’re doing. Look at the other cultures who live with their family for a long time.
Talks like these will make the dating harder.
He literally defined what being broke is for the purposes of this conversation, though. He SAID, broke=not being able to survive on your own.
That may work when your younger, college age maybe. Not so much when you're older. Only speaking from my experience.
Speaking from a strong Alfa female, he is soooo right! I dated a guy who I cared for and taught him to make a business for himself with tips and good advice. In the end we taught eachother things and unfortunately it didnt work out. Now I rather have a man come fully equipped and not have to teach him. A man who is on the grind and trying to do better for himself is sexy!!!! Lazy men dating or not working is a turn off.
Dating is not a priority when you’re broke. It’s not cute.
I’m broke and I just graduated from university and I agree with you. I’m trying
That’s a big difference 😂
It's Anthony's laugh for me😂😂 he knows it's true. I completely agree with this guy and I believe most times God keeps you broke when you have issues to deal with before bringing someone into your life. I think most people miss this phase because they are too caught up on their desire for companionship.
He also believe in a budget for each date… which is why he’s laughing and about to have a heart attack. 😅He’s in disagreement. We know Anthony got bread but he doesn’t believe in splurging it while dating. Can’t blame him though.
Plus financial stability brings confidence to a man
Yes! men do not need to date until they are stable and secure in their finances as well as mental. My man's father told me these modern men are vastly disappointing to him. This is a true Man speaking.
For a lot of Men they aren’t financially stable until their 30s. Should they skip their 20s?
Exactly I respect a man who has his money right
We need to put metal shop, wood shop, and auto shop back into schools. There is a dearth of labor in the trades. I can't meet a blue collar business owner that doesn't complain about not being able to find good help. A man that can use tools, has the tools to not be broke.
All fact except for 1 situation : when you AND her are broke. That 's how I met my girl and I swear it's been nothing but good vibes
Good vibes don't pay bills, though. Personally, my vibes aren't good if I'm broke and stressed out. 😂
It’s because compatibility goes beyond things you both like. Being in a similar circumstance helps because there is nothing to really judge eachother on you both are in the same boat. With the right teamwork and dedication. It can be a happy ending. Gotta make sure neither party is lazy tho because that’s where the problem arises
@@vklkg5486 sge ghosted me bro 💀 her ex came back in town outta nowhere and that mf is rich... It is what it is it was hard but i moved on I guess.. video is fqcts at last 😭
I am guilty of the “project” scenario and had no clue until watching this....ladies, it does not work...and it’s not helpful to him....omg so much of this is soooooo true.
Being broke and dating don’t mix. It’s so terrible going out with a guy who needs me to bring my half. It never works and it’s always problematic. I avoid broke men like the plague. I told my female friends that I wouldn’t bother wasting my time building up up a broke unskilled man. He must already be well established. Call me delusional or materialistic, I won’t settle for less
🎉
Karma ,,,
Dating as a broke woman is not great either XD I can’t look my best on a budget.
Listening to this interview kinda hurt but hella real 😂
OMG! Very accurate!
I felt everything you said!
This is why a man/woman should be financially stable before trying to commit in a relationship especially a marriage! ❤️🙌🏽❤️
I’m so glad he cleared that myth up at 7:57.... we do care about looks more than men think we do. Just in a different way.
in which way?
@@jaydenwinter4647 women care in the way a man carries himself, exudes confidence (not arrogance). He doesn’t need to be 6 feet tall, with a bufff body, but he needs to walk tall. Personal hygiene is a 100% turn off or on. Hair cut, nails clipped and clean, wears a belt to keep his pants up, shoes clean, visits a dentist regularly, uses lotion on his body. Looks like you could take him to meet your family, without first doing a makeover, and I’m not talking about the actual clothes, the essence, the energy of a man needs to be right. Speak English, be respectful and considerate. Hth
If You're Broke,My Advice is to keep your behind off the dating scene until you get your mind and your money Right because dating is NOT FOR BROKE A**ES!
🤔Ru God to decide that
@@godwillbongani5240 no I'm not god but when was the last time that you used love to pay for any of your dates,Let along pay your bills?I'll wait!
@@bp22470 hence i said are you God to decide who should date me as a person i would advice broke people to focus on their finances but i will never tell them to date love does not pay bills but love is the foundation you can have money in the world it does not mean a good relationship plenty of rich and finacially stable people still divorce relationships have no formula seen broke people in happy relatinships the only challenge is finances i think as people let us mind our business and stop giving advice where its not needed most of these guys who talk about finances have rotten personalities to the core because the only value they bring to a woman is money so many men are worried about money and less on the character and wonder why they cant keep a relationship
Not to date
He's right about us women having it easier finance wise. It's just a practical thing. Any couple having a kid biologically should be prepared for the woman needing more rest time than expected. You never know what could happen, so the guy needs to be able to carry the main bills.
This guys wisdom is pretty astounding
This video is so important. Every man and probably women actually need to hear this.
Yep 👍 so true
This is REAL STRAIGHT TALK‼️
As sad as this formula sounds, the spoken words here are truthful.
If the man is insecure due to her accomplishments, he will drag her down.
God help this society to elevate the men.
Men need to find more possibilities where the boys are "raised" rather than babied to successful men in a balanced way.
The True Christian men in this world need to step up and raise upgraded men.
Sad that this has to be said. People don’t have pride or shame anymore. And lack plain logic. There’s this attitude of “take me as I am”. If you’re dating wir intent to marry why would you date if you have no home/apt for this woman to come back to with you? If you’re not in a position to feed her if she so happens to lose her job. It’s just not logical, or practical. Dating while broke tells me you have no foresight. You didn’t think about life post the excitement of dating.
They are called sociopaths.....
Meanwhile she has a paid off car, buys sme property for herself, and has her spirt, finances and mental in order..he sees this and wants to use wht she has to lift him up..its sad reality
THIS is what boiled up into my relationship break down. This just validated everything I just lived. Thank you❤
So many false narratives. In the majority of relationships there isn't infidelity. A woman who dates a man who doesn't earn at his peak yet doesn't not mean he will cheat on her when he does. Smh. This dude, smh.. but he did make some good points. Women will resent you and see you as a child. The toxic side in women will come out if you don't make enough for sure.
Yap. I have had a date with a guy who didn't get a job and broke and here I am thinking sir you should focus on yourself first before going on a date because I wouldn't go on a date looking for a partner before being financially stable.
Men shouldn't date until they're married.
He is soooooo on point!!!!!
Yup. That's why I gave up on dating. Women need financial security to engage in a relationship.
Yuppppppppppppppp cause im not trying to depend on no man I rather stuggle on my own
Wow… he was spot on. That dude was preaching fire. I wish I had watched this 6 years ago.
Finding the one is difficult when you don’t have your basics locked down. I will say though if you are financially stable don’t think that you can take a person who doesn’t have their basics because it can increase the gap no matter how much love you got. Both people should have their basics on lock.
He isn't lying.. Word 4 word is true.. That hold me down until I come up BS is just BS..& when or if he get on his true colors come out.. & u can't respect a man that isn't a leader.. And true that sometimes women date below for a project or insecurities.. Don't date if broke or broken..!! It's not healthy!
I loved watching this video. Thanks guys. True words.
If you broke, then you should not be even be thinking about dating. You need to be think about getting that money and save.
Took the words straight from my mouth... and my mind. This is SO precise
I agree with all this. I also had a man try to bring me food late at night when I was younger when he saw me getting in shape. He was jealous. This was about 20 yrs ago and I never forgot it.
To his benefit ny man gice me every little oenny he got and goes out hus way to make me feel protected which is priceless for me having been through a violent background
As a woman with a lot going on you are right but he must want it more if I'm motivating u you must elevate or u will be left.
Wow this man has great insight! He is very perceptive.
Outstanding advice 👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
It's dangerous for both men and women to date broke. Dangerous to a man's ego. Dangerous to a woman's emotions and even her very life, especially these days. Hypergamy for women is best for both parties.
Good reason to avoid women period
Sir...Sir!!! You better tell that truth!!!! I swear!!!
The vast majority of millionaires are married. That’s a fact. Relationships don’t make you broke, there’s a variety of other things that do that.
You don't need to be a millionaire if you're not married. Marriage is what eats up a mans bank.....
@@Rashaadthegr8 more married Men are millionaires because they need more money to stay with and maintain the marriage. Women waste money..... do you understand now
@@mfit7110 yeah, like men gamble it away and need the newest games and have side chics and spend more in them than their wives n kids...mmmk gotcha
This is gold! so real and at the same time hilarious!! xD love it
Broken Men Women Should Not Date! Amazon
Y’all gotta to talk about being spiritually broke as well.
@Alumani David straight facts. When a partner is spiritually dying or dead, there can not be any substance in the relationship.
True
Alumani good point!!
Thanku stephen u are on point, great courage, the truth stands, thanku, so true, money doesn't change a man, it merely reveals who they are
It's so true this was a greats conversation
I honestly feel this message was for me as man right now who is not financially stable there was not one lie told
Just from the title, no need to watch the video. The last thing on your mind should be dating.
😂😂😂😂😂 word
Real talk!
Plan and vision! Amen!!!
Great conversation!
Look at Anthony rubbing his belly when they are talking about Dad-bods 😆😆😆
Yes! "Mmmmmmhhh!!!!" While rubbing. Like yeah, I'm marrying material 😂.
Wow. He dropped several gems !
You guys definitely make a lot sense 😮
🗣🗣🗣 the truth Stephan 🔥
It’s not just “broke”. If you can cover your bills and have a little left to stash, -it ain’t enough. You need to be GAINFULLY employed. As in, making more than enough to save, make investments and have a budget that can pay for the “fun stuff” as defined by the woman. Broke should be redefined. Anything less than gainful, don’t waste your time.
Exactly I can’t date a man who don’t have the basic but I’ve tan across men who only provide those basics for themselves they don’t have the extra funds to date which is a problem/issue for me and that’s where the brokenness is a problem for me I can’t date someone who can’t provide what I can provide for myself I like to travel, fine dining and doing things that involve entertainment it’s not fun when you’re partner can’t provide those yes sitting in the house and chilling is fine but date nights are necessary!
Exactly, men can have a steady job , pay all their bills if they combine resources with friends.
Anthonys reactions 😂😂😂
Stop dating while you're broke.
This is amazing 👏
This mans going offfff on this joint
🔥🔥🔥 FIRE ASF. LOOKING FOR THAT KINGDOM MAN WHO IS BUILDING THE FOUNDATION 🔥
This guy is speaking facts!
Wow! This so on point! Just Blocked & Delete a Old friend for this very reason! 😅
Absolutely . That's the world as we know it .
This is soo good watching now twice.
I’ll tell you dating and actually having a full relationship while broke is super hard and it eats away at your relationship. I know from experience
This dude speaking facts
wowowowowow the truth has been spoken. thank u
Truth spoken here.
Great Convo
There's so much truth here. I was dating a guy who didn't have a cash flow problem, he had a vision problem. There wasn't a solid foundation and he couldn't clearly articulate a vision for his life. He talked about all the ideas he had, but the action didn't follow. He hopped from job to job, idea to idea, quick scheme to quick scheme. After a while I definitely lost respect for him and everything sounded like cap to me. There were definitely times where I felt like I had to be his mom...and that's not at all what I'm interested in.
This man is dropping gems.
Whooooo lol I'm so glad I watched this. I agree with everything you said.
I'm not broke or anything of that nature but I don't care for dating right now this is some really good wisdom ❤️🤠
nothing but facts🎯
Thank you for defining “broke”. My ex thought I was supposed to have enough money to cover my bills and expenses for 6 months. I didn’t have that, but I had my own place and car and enough money to cover my bills and still help him with groceries and loan him and others money.🤷🏽♀️I never knew how I should feel about my financial status. I think I’ve only borrowed money once in my adult life and that was over a decade ago🤔maybe 2. I’ve never really cared about how much the other person had so long as they were covering their own responsibilities the majority of the time. I don’t mind occasionally helping. What would be a problem would be if they needed me to cover all their bills and expenses. I’d have to say something then😬🤷🏽♀️
I do wonder why a guy is interested in me when there are so many other women out there that are curvier, thicker, make more money, and have a greater education. I don’t care as much about how the guy looks, the level of education they’ve completed, or how much money he makes as I do about the quality and quantity of the time we spend together. Just 🤷🏽♀️how is it when we’re together?
Girl you have no standards. And i am sorry to say this, do not be a victim of femicide. Date a man who has something to lose. That way, he wont go apeshit when the relationship ends.
He thought you should be good for 6 months out but then he would borrow money from you?? Are you still with this dude?
You sound like such a nice person. I wish I could know you
Truth, I been through this, yes he will take everything you have to offer to build him but subconsciously he resent you bc you emasculated him and once he gets hisself to a better level 9/10 he will leave and find the woman he really wants. Men naturally wants to lead and provide and if that’s striped away he won’t choose you. On flip side she’s secretly or openly upset bc he was her project and she feels like his mom. No real respect will be given on either end so it’s not worth it. Men are hunters and they will figure it out if they apply their selves.
Preach!
Facts, men will get what they can
Yes lol do not not date if you broke
At the end of the day dates aren’t bout the money but you need money to do different events also in a way it gauges (to the woman) what you can afford/put effort into and it’s less stressful to date with money than without