I Hired A HITMAN To Kill Everyone I Worked With | BitLife

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  • Опубліковано 13 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,6 тис.

  • @nathanfake9163
    @nathanfake9163 4 роки тому +3892

    "He apologized and wished me a nice day."
    Hitman: *pulls up* Hey, money?
    Paddy: Money machine broke.
    Hitman: Understandable, have a nice day.

    • @notbillymays
      @notbillymays 4 роки тому +30

      @Anna! I love sех! Тар on my photo no one likes you

    • @overlordproductions1
      @overlordproductions1 4 роки тому +7

      Lol

    • @overlordproductions1
      @overlordproductions1 4 роки тому +19

      Billy Mays no need to be rude just cuz of the inappropriate name lol

    • @sssasquatch-
      @sssasquatch- 4 роки тому +40

      OVERLORD PRODUCTIONS she has a virus in her about page

    • @w.a.r.ydruid5643
      @w.a.r.ydruid5643 4 роки тому +6

      Hannibal Lecter... I thought he was rich why does he kill people for money if not to eat them? And which version is he the 90s version or the 2015 version? How is paddy not dead yet or is he? Why do I have so many questions?!

  • @FB_60
    @FB_60 4 роки тому +2652

    “I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead” says Jack as he has spontaneously fallen into major depression.

    • @MartinFinnerup
      @MartinFinnerup 4 роки тому +53

      "Spontaneously".
      He only accidentally killed someone and then got scammed by a hitman he sent after his a-hole of a step dad.

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому +2

      Hi Ethan Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

    • @FB_60
      @FB_60 4 роки тому +3

      ImFoxy that’s crazy bro

    • @FB_60
      @FB_60 4 роки тому +3

      ImFoxy, but why tho

    • @schnoig_
      @schnoig_ 4 роки тому +1

      ImFoxy Damn bro, but no one asked.

  • @windmage121
    @windmage121 4 роки тому +1800

    "Your wife called out another man's name during sex."
    Jack: "Wait, who's name was it?"

    • @HoloUniversee
      @HoloUniversee 4 роки тому +41

      Death note reference 😂 so his wife's name is Ciara (read as Kira) hmmm

    • @E__Saurabh
      @E__Saurabh 4 роки тому +45

      It's so he can hire another hitman

    • @sierramistd2182
      @sierramistd2182 4 роки тому +16

      Holo Universe My name is Ciara and I cringed every time he pronounced the wife’s name as Kiera.

    • @Elizabeth-bv1yl
      @Elizabeth-bv1yl 4 роки тому +50

      SierraMist :D that’s the irish pronunciation of ciara

    • @MattiesGaming
      @MattiesGaming 4 роки тому +4

      @@HoloUniversee your a member very good person

  • @Faptimus420
    @Faptimus420 4 роки тому +5348

    "You bit your co-worker, Emma's, skull!"
    "She died from her injuries."
    *_WAS THAT THE BITE OF '87?!!_*

    • @FinalMasterM
      @FinalMasterM 4 роки тому +112

      Darn, beat me to it.

    • @clairissafix8077
      @clairissafix8077 4 роки тому +43

      Faptimus420 damn I was gonna write this and lol fnaf reference

    • @ny_trolenne8631
      @ny_trolenne8631 4 роки тому +13

      HAHA

    • @BlueC0rd
      @BlueC0rd 4 роки тому +19

      Uhh don't R/woooosh me but a skull wouldn't be the bite of '87, if it said the frontal lobe it'd be it.

    • @sharkarp3376
      @sharkarp3376 4 роки тому +3

      Faptimus420 Ummm. Prolly. But bitlife ain’t fnaf 4. *IDIOT*

  • @mmgmagic
    @mmgmagic 4 роки тому +3251

    Nathan: *Farts.*
    Paddy: *I'm about to ruin this man whole life.*

    • @angelcdeath
      @angelcdeath 4 роки тому +54

      Crop dusting... punishable by death. What a world of straining, pent up butt holes we're making.

    • @Dark_Liam32
      @Dark_Liam32 4 роки тому +2

      yep

    • @yoshiwiiremotewithwiimotio2947
      @yoshiwiiremotewithwiimotio2947 4 роки тому +29

      More like:
      Nathan: Farts
      Paddy: I'm about to ruin this PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIFEFORMS Entire fucking respiratory system!

    • @cailean-tendo6711
      @cailean-tendo6711 4 роки тому +3

      This is the best bit life vid ever :)

    • @lilyflavin5108
      @lilyflavin5108 4 роки тому

      The Comment Crusader I’m not going to like your comment because it’s at 666

  • @trqshy
    @trqshy 4 роки тому +1293

    Someone: *refuses to talk to Paddy*
    Paddy: *so you have chosen death*

  • @aldothelizard6669
    @aldothelizard6669 4 роки тому +2065

    imagine being his last co-worker
    "hey man did you notice that it's only us that went to work today"

    • @DONTDISLIKEMYVIDEOS
      @DONTDISLIKEMYVIDEOS 4 роки тому +94

      I SHOOT WITH BANANAS BOOM BOOM

    • @jacksepticeye
      @jacksepticeye  4 роки тому +759

      Better be nice to me

    • @peter-ww6tl
      @peter-ww6tl 4 роки тому +34

      Plz spare my family

    • @KStone22
      @KStone22 4 роки тому +71

      @@jacksepticeye oh no, Paddy took over Jacks channel!

    • @jonwall8747
      @jonwall8747 4 роки тому +13

      Please just don’t use the bees man

  • @RadioAF8
    @RadioAF8 4 роки тому +2173

    *you failed to find a hitman to take care of your stepfather*
    Jack: "he has too much power "

  • @ramdassingh6053
    @ramdassingh6053 4 роки тому +334

    Jack: slight inconvenience in his life
    Also Jack: Peace was never an option

  • @JaraelMoonsilver
    @JaraelMoonsilver 4 роки тому +2183

    Paddy: “I’ll bite her skull”
    Game: “...and I stabbed her 37 times in the chest”

    • @thepeepeepoopooman2194
      @thepeepeepoopooman2194 4 роки тому +223

      28 STAB WOUNDS
      im sorry.

    • @piKKiT_
      @piKKiT_ 4 роки тому +82

      @@thepeepeepoopooman2194 didn't wanna leave him a chance, huh!

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому +1

      Hi JaraelMoonsilver Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

    • @Sirvanquish
      @Sirvanquish 4 роки тому +37

      @@piKKiT_ you stabbed him again and again and again

    • @gentlemen750
      @gentlemen750 4 роки тому +21

      I-is that Llama with Hats reference...?

  • @thedarklord3724
    @thedarklord3724 4 роки тому +1749

    Jacksepticeye:
    Happiness: 100%
    Health: 100%
    Smarts: 100%
    Looks: well that dosent matter
    Me: good message

    • @AxxLAfriku
      @AxxLAfriku 4 роки тому +2

      Wird es in die tegut message because I don't have a pretty face but I am the famous UA-cam legend

    • @galacticliberty
      @galacticliberty 4 роки тому +2

      Hey, I make content :)

    • @erikwoodruff5643
      @erikwoodruff5643 4 роки тому +20

      Also Jack: "I'm 40, let's commit a crime"

    • @josephcooper171
      @josephcooper171 4 роки тому +3

      Stfu

    • @FranciumBoron
      @FranciumBoron 4 роки тому +7

      @@josephcooper171 Is that really supposed to work?

  • @Carter121301
    @Carter121301 4 роки тому +688

    Game: "She told you to shut up."
    Anti disguised as Jack: *ThAt'S tHe WrOnG aNsWeR!!!*

  • @avibensimon8513
    @avibensimon8513 4 роки тому +578

    Jack: slaps Nathan on nose
    Game: 28 STAB WOUNDS!

  • @familytime3945
    @familytime3945 4 роки тому +493

    Jack: what person would kill a random prostitute?
    Also Jack: kills someone for farting

  • @randomcrusader5632
    @randomcrusader5632 4 роки тому +298

    When he hired the the hit man his happiness went up to 92%
    Someone enjoys murder

  • @atoucaaan
    @atoucaaan 4 роки тому +800

    Imagine ripping one in someone’s vicinity, so they hire a hitman to kill you

    • @lassliegen
      @lassliegen 4 роки тому +4

      😂😂😂

    • @woteveruk1
      @woteveruk1 4 роки тому +47

      what? you mean thats not a normal thing to do?

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому

      Hi Dixon Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

    • @KolchaksGhost
      @KolchaksGhost 4 роки тому +4

      Pro gamer moment

    • @Flowerbarrel
      @Flowerbarrel 4 роки тому +7

      It must have been a really bad one. Like the kind that could kill someone.

  • @xxdamastaboixx9836
    @xxdamastaboixx9836 4 роки тому +679

    “I have now killed 3 people, should I make it a 4th?”- future serial killer jack, 2020

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому +1

      Hi xxDaMastaBoixX Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

    • @itsmejak7888
      @itsmejak7888 4 роки тому +9

      @@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014

    • @mamoonahabib2648
      @mamoonahabib2648 4 роки тому +7

      Jack the ripper 2020

    • @xxdamastaboixx9836
      @xxdamastaboixx9836 4 роки тому

      Hello ImFoxy. I am the master boi.
      Jack the Ripper lol

    • @reallife19
      @reallife19 4 роки тому +2

      technically isnt it *current* serial killer?

  • @christianhammond8071
    @christianhammond8071 4 роки тому +416

    Jack: We forgot about paddy Fitzpatrick for a while
    Me: We forgot about Minecraft for a while too

    • @ilyhuwu1330
      @ilyhuwu1330 4 роки тому +1

      Christian Hammond EXACTLY

    • @kenzierasmussen442
      @kenzierasmussen442 4 роки тому +2

      Christian Hammond so much shade...XD

    • @rekt5507
      @rekt5507 4 роки тому

      @@kenzierasmussen442 r/wooosh

    • @Turdeez
      @Turdeez 4 роки тому

      🆈🅴🅰︎🅷

    • @sammythescrub5258
      @sammythescrub5258 4 роки тому +4

      @@rekt5507 I don’t think that’s how you woosh

  • @CoryGrey45
    @CoryGrey45 4 роки тому +980

    *Ciara pisses him off
    Sean: “My hitman fingers are tingling”
    😅😂🤣

    • @CoryGrey45
      @CoryGrey45 4 роки тому +19

      Cheers for the heart, Sean 🙃

    • @urnansbakedbeans4933
      @urnansbakedbeans4933 4 роки тому +12

      I love sean

    • @Heywoodjablowme1
      @Heywoodjablowme1 4 роки тому +3

      Cory Grey
      F

    • @corruptedproductions5024
      @corruptedproductions5024 4 роки тому +1

      That name caught me off guard but my murder weapons start saying that they are the best when I get pissed but it's usually the paring knife but yeah not that odd

  • @taylorford7609
    @taylorford7609 4 роки тому +1461

    Jack: it’s crime time
    Me in my head: it’s crime time, it’s crime time, gather all your friends it’s crime time, it’s crime time it’s crime time the only cure for sadness

    • @swiftlyaswiftie
      @swiftlyaswiftie 4 роки тому +47

      W-what are you going to do with your friends? Murder them?

    • @silvermask3950
      @silvermask3950 4 роки тому +18

      @@swiftlyaswiftie killing is fun Hihi🔪🔪🔪

    • @emmarose7159
      @emmarose7159 4 роки тому +73

      No it should be "the only cure for madness"

    • @DragonGunzDorian
      @DragonGunzDorian 4 роки тому +17

      I think crime time should be the only cure for boredom.

    • @NitroNick9000
      @NitroNick9000 4 роки тому +3

      Ok cool, I wasn't the only one who thought that

  • @skylerralls5678
    @skylerralls5678 4 роки тому +221

    I've watched the high pitch "oh Mr. Hannibal" at least twenty times by now. He sounds like a chipmunk

    • @stephaniefuller9973
      @stephaniefuller9973 4 роки тому +9

      I literally recorded that part so I could watch it forever because I almost peed myself laughing at it the first 5 times😂

    • @ily8780
      @ily8780 4 роки тому +12

      16:24 is a replay button :)

    • @clashofmagic6672
      @clashofmagic6672 4 роки тому

      @@ily8780 nah

    • @gangstascott3759
      @gangstascott3759 3 роки тому

      :)

    • @gangstascott3759
      @gangstascott3759 3 роки тому +1

      @@ily8780 i hope your username is true

  • @finbarrdarcy5929
    @finbarrdarcy5929 4 роки тому +789

    “Maybe because she flicked on of my balls and I couldn’t concentrate”
    That seems too realistic to have been made up on the spot. Care to tell us something, Jack?

    • @A-Minorrrrrrr
      @A-Minorrrrrrr 4 роки тому +78

      Storytime : MY BALLS BECAME DYSFUNCTIONAL DURING SEX **GONE SEXUAL**

    • @AxxLAfriku
      @AxxLAfriku 4 роки тому +2

      I am the most famous German of all time and now I'm making English videos for my fans in America

    • @mukimurco1426
      @mukimurco1426 4 роки тому +34

      @@AxxLAfriku HI! Hitler

    • @count-countess8464
      @count-countess8464 4 роки тому +2

      hahaha

    • @samuelkollbrunner5701
      @samuelkollbrunner5701 4 роки тому +2

      @@mukimurco1426 XD

  • @Cup0fCoco_
    @Cup0fCoco_ 4 роки тому +164

    This video was 23 minutes and 57 seconds of Jack releasing his inner-Anti

    • @corvcrawler
      @corvcrawler 4 роки тому

      glitchy boi boutta have a fun time

  • @colleenglanville8293
    @colleenglanville8293 4 роки тому +227

    "I'm Happy To Know That Your Body Is 60% Water, Because I'm Thirsty."
    If I heard someone say that to me I'd probably go hide lol! 😂😂😂

    • @RivkahSong
      @RivkahSong 4 роки тому +9

      I love a bad pun so that would probably work on me, ngl. 😂

    • @colleenglanville8293
      @colleenglanville8293 4 роки тому +1

      Rivkah Song It's a pretty dirty pun lol! I wish I had a pun to fit in this! 😂😂😂

    • @nicolemiles3801
      @nicolemiles3801 4 роки тому +4

      I said vampires were real and nobody believed me, whos sorry now

    • @colleenglanville8293
      @colleenglanville8293 4 роки тому

      nicole miles I mean I guess that explains why they drink human blood, so they can suck all the water out of you lol! 😂😂😂

    • @Sleepy_Sunshine
      @Sleepy_Sunshine 4 роки тому +1

      it is pretty weird if you imagine it in a deep rumbling voice

  • @snorseburger7381
    @snorseburger7381 4 роки тому +517

    Jack: "I Hired A HITMAN To Kill Everyone"
    Me: "Man its about time Paddy lost it."

    • @janishere4935
      @janishere4935 4 роки тому

      Hi snorseburger btw?????

    • @snorseburger7381
      @snorseburger7381 4 роки тому +3

      K1NG sup. I’m not trying to be mean this seems like a bot comment, if it’s not though I looked at a vid of yours and I saw trap town on it I just wanna say watch out for them they are bots.

    • @libbyf51
      @libbyf51 4 роки тому +2

      SnorseBurger i think it’s a bot they’ve been putting this on every comment

    • @pixiepassive8332
      @pixiepassive8332 4 роки тому

      Gave you a nice Subscribe 😉

    • @snorseburger7381
      @snorseburger7381 4 роки тому

      Pixie Passive thanks! Hope my vids don’t disappoint! Although they are kinda trash accept for my recent one

  • @dr.k8610
    @dr.k8610 4 роки тому +887

    Everyone else: multiple quick lives per episode
    Sean: one life over many months

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому +3

      Hi Swan Ronson Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Raw

    • @Inzanity_Play_Houze
      @Inzanity_Play_Houze 4 роки тому +27

      ImFoxy why am I seeing you comment the same exact thing to everyone’s comments? Like seriously what’s the point

    • @itsmejak7888
      @itsmejak7888 4 роки тому +12

      @@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014

    • @Ashtora
      @Ashtora 4 роки тому +11

      i like it a lot better this way tbh

    • @dariushajnala5562
      @dariushajnala5562 4 роки тому +1

      @@Ashtora ye

  • @cabbage_house2549
    @cabbage_house2549 4 роки тому +92

    16:19: literally just got shivers down my spine.
    16:23: wheezing with the voice changer.
    Two different emotions in a span of 5 seconds.

  • @camden9895
    @camden9895 4 роки тому +167

    Ciara: refuses to go to counseling Jack: Ciara! MY HITMAN FINGERS ARE TINGLING!

  • @gnome.
    @gnome. 4 роки тому +609

    Everyone else: tries to become a millionaire in this game
    Jack: ''HITMAAN''

    • @Vortex1yt
      @Vortex1yt 4 роки тому

      RedPanda the absolution lives on

    • @corruptedproductions5024
      @corruptedproductions5024 4 роки тому +4

      Yes the best route save money then kill them all

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому

      Hi redPanda Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

    • @CraftBlox45
      @CraftBlox45 4 роки тому

      I dont have Bitizen

    • @itsmejak7888
      @itsmejak7888 4 роки тому

      @@CraftBlox45 you don't need bitzen to become.a millionare

  • @spudthepotato2564
    @spudthepotato2564 4 роки тому +32

    Sean: *tries to murder his stepdad*
    No one wants to do it
    Sean:HE HAS TOO MUCH POWER

  • @wyntxr
    @wyntxr 4 роки тому +236

    "Now that's a lot of damage!"
    Childhood memes. Never get old.

  • @KingColinForReal
    @KingColinForReal 4 роки тому +565

    Jacks title of video:
    "I Hired A HITMAN To Kill Everyone I Worked With"
    UA-cam sees title: this video is not available in your country

    • @alliknowis6528
      @alliknowis6528 4 роки тому +42

      NordVPN: Allow us to introduce ourselves...

    • @junpeixix
      @junpeixix 4 роки тому +26

      Hippity hoppity get off my property *This video is sponsored by NordVPN. Click the link in the description and get 69% off your first year.*
      (Nice.)

  • @rubenrivas247
    @rubenrivas247 4 роки тому +89

    Jack: I hired a hitman to kill my cow-worker for squeaking a fart in front of me
    me: *holds in fart*

  • @nathanwilson5869
    @nathanwilson5869 4 роки тому +309

    Jack: “I just killed someone!!”
    Wait, what about the people you hired a hit man for?!?!?

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому +1

      I’m Foxy Not Related To the game Tho Btw Rawr

    • @itsmejak7888
      @itsmejak7888 4 роки тому +18

      @@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014

    • @ncrawford5673
      @ncrawford5673 4 роки тому +7

      @@lyfverse stop spamming this stupid comment

  • @howardlo7548
    @howardlo7548 4 роки тому +47

    Me: What's the secret to a Positive mental attitude
    Jack "Paddy Fitzpatrick" Septiceye: the secret ingredient is crime

  • @manifestationsofasort
    @manifestationsofasort 3 роки тому +58

    "Ciara had a second trimester miscarriage." *Happy music proceeds*

  • @at_home_lobotomy8514
    @at_home_lobotomy8514 4 роки тому +167

    I love how every chance this game gets it'll remind you that you stole a car 😂
    "Yeah your *STOLEN* car's engine broke down, do you wanna repair your *STOLEN* car? The one that you *STOLE?*

    • @ZeroWildFyre
      @ZeroWildFyre 4 роки тому

      Upvoted off 69. No need to thank me

  • @copperhands5468
    @copperhands5468 4 роки тому +1386

    Someone: *doesn't say hello to Jack*
    Jack: MY HITMAN FINGERS ARE TINGLING!!
    Edit: WOW! I never had this many likes before

  • @AnonymousFloof
    @AnonymousFloof 4 роки тому +80

    "Nathens dead! thats what he gets for squeezing out a fart infront of me!"
    Jacksepticeye 2020

  • @savannahbootz7690
    @savannahbootz7690 4 роки тому +39

    Paddy: 99.9% enjoyment
    His wife: 100% enjoyment
    Sean: PROBABLY BC SHE FLICKED HIS BALLS AND HE COULDN’T THINK STRAIGHT.
    Me: HeY A MaN LiKeS WhAt He LiKeS.

  • @leosydlik2278
    @leosydlik2278 4 роки тому +179

    Jack: Crime’s easy
    All Australians: yeah look where it got us!!!!

  • @anarchyahoy1363
    @anarchyahoy1363 4 роки тому +35

    Jack: I just killed someone!
    while giggling hysterically
    huh. sounds oddly familiar.

  • @idontevenknow9540
    @idontevenknow9540 4 роки тому +432

    Jack: "He's had a miscarriage with his beautiful wife"
    Me: Thats not somethin you hear everyday

    • @DONTDISLIKEMYVIDEOS
      @DONTDISLIKEMYVIDEOS 4 роки тому

      I am better then howtobasic !!! HELP ME AND SHOOT ME IN MY FACE

    • @vtz2002
      @vtz2002 4 роки тому +2

      @@DONTDISLIKEMYVIDEOS k.

    • @leytonv.3269
      @leytonv.3269 4 роки тому +1

      KING AUTISM TV hahahahahhahaa not gonna watch em :)

  • @besosiriusrn
    @besosiriusrn 4 роки тому +154

    "I tried to talk to my co-worker Sophie about -how many people I've killed- my greatest achievements"

  • @D3vilB4sket
    @D3vilB4sket 3 роки тому +4

    16:09 I really enjoyed that conversation about the Stanley Cup, Jack

  • @CelestialBunnyPaws
    @CelestialBunnyPaws 4 роки тому +182

    "Let's go for a NO-"
    My relationship with the gym.

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому

      Hi Kitty Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

    • @itsmejak7888
      @itsmejak7888 4 роки тому +2

      @@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014

    • @tara4257
      @tara4257 4 роки тому

      @@lyfverse 😳uhm

  • @sophiebear546
    @sophiebear546 4 роки тому +64

    "It's crime time! It's crime time, gather all your friends is crime time! It's crime time! The only cure for anger" 🤣

  • @ruffrabbit894
    @ruffrabbit894 4 роки тому +4

    16:24 “OH MR. HANNIBALLLL.” Favorite part 10/10, Mads mikkelsen would be proud

  • @savethetrees7039
    @savethetrees7039 4 роки тому +53

    Jack: Paddy's life is basically perfect at the moment
    Also Jack: *It's Crime Time!*

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому

      Hi Save the Trees Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

    • @itsmejak7888
      @itsmejak7888 4 роки тому

      @@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014

    • @savethetrees7039
      @savethetrees7039 4 роки тому

      That 1_blu3shyguy
      Says the shy guy

  • @claudiatrejo8644
    @claudiatrejo8644 4 роки тому +157

    Jack girlfren: *farts in front of him*.
    Jack : So YoU hAvE cHosEn DeAtH

  • @ZombieGuts02
    @ZombieGuts02 4 роки тому +57

    Can anyone else imagine Jack's girlfriend coming in and see him arguing with the wall like its his wife😄

  • @NoahMoon111
    @NoahMoon111 4 роки тому +127

    1:25 “he had a miscarriage”
    Well there’s something you don’t hear everyday

  • @sameoldashton478
    @sameoldashton478 4 роки тому +77

    The amount of times jack says “paddy Fitzgerald” when their name is “Paddy Fitzpatrick” 😂

  • @sugarfreeskull3008
    @sugarfreeskull3008 4 роки тому +17

    "don't tell kira, ok?? Its gonna be our little secret."
    KIRA THERES SOMETHING I GOTTA TELL YOU-

    • @soomiko
      @soomiko 4 роки тому +3

      They never got to finish their sentence, the hitman fingers came too fast

  • @enderium3253
    @enderium3253 4 роки тому +213

    "Crime is easy"
    -Jacksepticeye 2020

  • @sovietbear8606
    @sovietbear8606 4 роки тому +99

    Jack : uses old intro in two consecutive vids
    Veterans : oi oi oi oi oi oi

    • @ellw7830
      @ellw7830 4 роки тому +4

      Ever thought about how the word “lowkey” is a homonym for “Loki” as in Thor’s brother? Life’s crazy bro

    • @sovietbear8606
      @sovietbear8606 4 роки тому +1

      @@ellw7830 indeed

    • @nightingale-d3e
      @nightingale-d3e 3 роки тому

      69 likes nice

  • @senormiguel5773
    @senormiguel5773 4 роки тому +14

    Jack: It's high noon
    Overwatch fans, including myself: He said it, he said the thing!

  • @nerd_by_nature5046
    @nerd_by_nature5046 4 роки тому +179

    “I’m 40. It’s time to start messing shit up”
    Me: I did that plenty well at 20. Age is just a number

    • @lunarpitch
      @lunarpitch 4 роки тому +8

      And life is a simulation ^-^

    • @grayskyee
      @grayskyee 4 роки тому +3

      and the universe is a hologram
      buy gold
      bye!

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому

      Hi Japan Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

  • @Mr.Bluguy
    @Mr.Bluguy 4 роки тому +60

    Me: * starts the video and sees my parents in the other room*
    Also me: ``I should probaly close the door´´

  • @arieldixon
    @arieldixon 2 роки тому +2

    I am in stitches watching this episode 😂😂😂
    “Nathan’s dead, that’s what he gets for squeaking out a fart in front of me” 🤣🤣
    That’s escalated drastically from a backhand to the nose and a blow to the pancreas 😅😅😅😅😅

  • @i_inf0din254
    @i_inf0din254 4 роки тому +13

    this is amazing lmfao
    Nathan: * toot*
    Paddy: " OFF WITH HIS HEAD! "

    • @cherylvollen8426
      @cherylvollen8426 4 роки тому +2

      Emma: *starts a rumor that paddy thinks the Earth is flat*
      Paddy: it's murder time it's murder time the only cure for rumors

  • @sunshock1014
    @sunshock1014 4 роки тому +300

    Random fact: brain size doesn't effect intelligence, it's how wrinkled your brain is, if it's smooth, you're extremely dumb, if it's extremely wrinkled, you're extremely intelligent, so if you're in a argument with someone, say that their brain is smooth

  • @andrewwilson8513
    @andrewwilson8513 3 роки тому +1

    random man: the earth is flat
    another man: no its round
    Jack: ILL HAVE YOU KNOW ITS A DODECOHEDRON

  • @pond2868
    @pond2868 4 роки тому +58

    *Paddy starts killing people*
    Jack: *antisepticeye had joined the chat*

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому

      Hi pond_ cosplays Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

  • @Inzanity_Play_Houze
    @Inzanity_Play_Houze 4 роки тому +12

    It feels weird, for Jack not cursing like a sailor and screaming 24/7 but honestly still love him.

    • @HoloUniversee
      @HoloUniversee 4 роки тому

      It feels even weirder that he started killing like Kevin does

  • @buddyboythe5393
    @buddyboythe5393 4 роки тому +3

    Layla: “could you pleas leave me alone for a few minutes. I need to have this work done by 4pm, thank you.
    Jack: “so you have chosen, Death”

  • @Aleula
    @Aleula 4 роки тому +126

    Felix: "This video is sponsored by Don't tell Marzia Productions"
    -Jack- Paddy: *_shhhh_* don't tell Ciara

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому

      Hi aleula Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

    • @orchestratedeath8669
      @orchestratedeath8669 4 роки тому +13

      UnusAnus: *Coughs in Amy*

    • @itsmejak7888
      @itsmejak7888 4 роки тому +2

      @@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014

    • @enviisyk
      @enviisyk 4 роки тому

      OTTO no one cares shut up

    • @enviisyk
      @enviisyk 4 роки тому +3

      Unus annus: Amy don’t watch this video

  • @latishavivian8673
    @latishavivian8673 4 роки тому +100

    I’m a simple girl.
    I see “Hannibal Lecter” I hope and pray for Mads Mikkelsen

    • @latishavivian8673
      @latishavivian8673 4 роки тому

      Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen ...uh no.

    • @latishavivian8673
      @latishavivian8673 4 роки тому

      Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen again, not me. It’s Latisha Vivian, not Vivian van pelt.

    • @w.a.r.ydruid5643
      @w.a.r.ydruid5643 4 роки тому

      Yeah don't trust the any version of Hannibal let alone the Mads, version who has killed hundreds of people and made a man eat his face off.

    • @Hana.Behl-Lecter
      @Hana.Behl-Lecter 4 роки тому +3

      Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen did you just ask this real life human person you've encountered on a random youtube comment with an entirely different name if they are a character from a fiction movie? Lol

  • @colleenglanville8293
    @colleenglanville8293 4 роки тому +21

    Jack: I'm gonna back hand his nose.
    Game: You backhanded your coworker, Nathan's nose! Then you kicked his pancreas altering his insulin levels!
    Jack: I did not say that, I did not tell you to go kick his pancreas!!
    "Now That's A Lot Of Damage!"
    It was super effective!! I laughed so hard lol! 😂😂😂

  • @Don-Dragmire
    @Don-Dragmire 4 роки тому +16

    Strait after *Jack: Evelyn...Wanna build a pillow fort*

  • @farhanbatada8185
    @farhanbatada8185 4 роки тому

    Idk how seán does it.. he's made 4, at least 15 min long videos on a single life and not 1 second is boring.. this is why i love him

  • @icemagiciangh
    @icemagiciangh 4 роки тому +10

    Tip- you can live a longer life by going to the gym, the library, and getting alternative medicine. (I recommend cologne cleanse). The library and gym can also make your happiness go up. To get on better terms with co-workers, compliment them first.

  • @WorriedtheCircusDemon
    @WorriedtheCircusDemon 4 роки тому +16

    7:31 I just smiled at a scenario I made up in my mind. Jack would just be sitting on the couch one day, Gabby walks by and he says shes "pretty dang cool" XD

  • @yeahwhateverwhocares
    @yeahwhateverwhocares 4 роки тому +1

    5:49 I love it how in 24 years on social media, Paddy had 8 posts total. Well done, lad. Some loyal followers you have there. I wonder what he wrote. "See you in 3-4 years"?

  • @anthonyidk5536
    @anthonyidk5536 4 роки тому +68

    16:20 don’t mind me just making a time stamp of Jacks voice affect thing

    • @jollyhoppy5200
      @jollyhoppy5200 4 роки тому

      So funny 😂

    • @lemon_scented_rat4559
      @lemon_scented_rat4559 4 роки тому +5

      When the anti in Jack is brought out because of bitlife

    • @jjcrazyblondgirl3675
      @jjcrazyblondgirl3675 4 роки тому +2

      @@lemon_scented_rat4559 yes I was thinking about it when I seen it. Lol

    • @Poptart83
      @Poptart83 4 роки тому +1

      The “ohh Mr. Hannibal!” fucking KILLED me 🤣🤣

  • @quillpentheartist
    @quillpentheartist 4 роки тому +14

    When you are watching Jacksepticeye at 12: 00 and your volume is at its lowest-yet his screams still echo through out your house and your family is confused of why they hear an Irishman screaming

    • @LiamR228
      @LiamR228 3 роки тому +2

      Fair enough 😂😂

  • @Jiggo_
    @Jiggo_ 4 роки тому +2

    Me: *thinks the Hitmen are going to kill the targets with creative ways like Agent-47*
    Paul Vitti: *pyromaniac intensifies*

    • @azoth2335
      @azoth2335 4 роки тому

      Meet The Pyro

    • @Jiggo_
      @Jiggo_ 3 роки тому

      @@azoth2335 yes

  • @JettAhoy
    @JettAhoy 4 роки тому +249

    i wonder how many comments there would be if we got rid of the “first” comments

  • @jaspersaw5415
    @jaspersaw5415 4 роки тому +57

    Lessened learned: don’t fart in front of jack

  • @whitewolf152
    @whitewolf152 4 роки тому +3

    14:23 it’s crime time it’s crime time, gather all ur friends it’s crime time, it’s crime time, the only cure for living

  • @BalboaDean
    @BalboaDean 4 роки тому +56

    Jack: Please UA-cam it was a joke, send my vid to all of my subs
    Me: doesn't get notification

  • @equit2857
    @equit2857 4 роки тому +4

    13:25 Hannibal just realized that threatening people is rude and stopped

  • @jasper2064
    @jasper2064 4 роки тому +11

    I remember in bit life I was 8 years old and I had a bully, so, I bit her lip, cracked her skull, and pirced her lip. She died from her injuries. I WAS 8!! XD

  • @deadlyjaguar89
    @deadlyjaguar89 4 роки тому +5

    I am glad he done another bit life video and I like it that he takes his time so we have a lot of time to watch it, I love your videos so that's great.

  • @Cdawg619
    @Cdawg619 4 роки тому +14

    "sneak off a fart in front of Jack I'll hire a hitman"
    That had me dieing 🤣

  • @King_Luigi
    @King_Luigi 4 роки тому

    17:04 - Out of the entire list you pick... her?!
    She wasn't even ON the list! _Your step-dad_ was on the list!
    Step-dad: _"Wait, why was I--"_ // "Half-time entertainment!"
    Step-dad: _"...frankly, I'm just happy to be included."_

  • @orla6795
    @orla6795 4 роки тому +66

    No one:
    Me: I have 4 essays to do but séans video is a priority

    • @janishere4935
      @janishere4935 4 роки тому +1

      Hi orlaith shanahan btw????

    • @shuu1599
      @shuu1599 4 роки тому +5

      Holy shit good luck on that lmao. Also...dnt wanna be that guy...but the fada is on "a" so...uhh...Seán*. xP

    • @orla6795
      @orla6795 4 роки тому

      Mishu Rosé I’m pretty sure it’s the e cause that’s the general rule in the Irish language but if I’m wrong thank you for correcting me loll morto since I’m actually also Irish with an Irish spelled name

    • @shuu1599
      @shuu1599 4 роки тому +3

      @@orla6795 Ohhh I see, that's so cool that you're irish too ^_^
      But I think I remember Seán himself spelling his name out so yeh, I'm pretty sure it's on the "a" in his name xD

  • @kennethbarnes2387
    @kennethbarnes2387 4 роки тому +58

    When jack goes to get an ice cream and someone bumps into him and he drops his ice cream🍦🍦
    Jack: OHH you dont know what's coming for ya🤣🤣

  • @colleenglanville8293
    @colleenglanville8293 4 роки тому +10

    "Mr.Hannibal!!"
    I died lol! 😂😂😂

  • @spikesshadow8683
    @spikesshadow8683 4 роки тому +55

    Jack: "We've been married for 10 years!"
    Me: "Let's smah that divorce button!"

    • @aidenpopp-tillich760
      @aidenpopp-tillich760 4 роки тому +2

      Smash*

    • @lyfverse
      @lyfverse 4 роки тому

      Hi Spikes Shadow Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr

    • @spikesshadow8683
      @spikesshadow8683 4 роки тому

      @@aidenpopp-tillich760 it's from an earlier video a couple days ago, the recent anxiety challenge

    • @aidenpopp-tillich760
      @aidenpopp-tillich760 4 роки тому

      @@spikesshadow8683 wdym all I did was spell check you

  • @am_goose907
    @am_goose907 4 роки тому +4

    12:27
    Sean: Don’t tell Ciara, shhh. This is our secret...
    Me: *CIIIIAAAARRRRRRAAAAAA!-*

  • @testingman1a797
    @testingman1a797 3 роки тому

    william fitzpratick: *a nice man with great life and is amazing*
    Paddy Fitzpratick: *same thing but a murderer*

  • @heddja
    @heddja 4 роки тому +5

    so what this taught me is
    if someone starts a rumor about you: kill them
    if someone doesn't wanna talk to you: kill them
    if someone farts on you: kill them

  • @georgtiks
    @georgtiks 4 роки тому +71

    When you are early and dont know what to say
    "These are confusing times."

  • @sophieroark4614
    @sophieroark4614 4 роки тому +2

    It’s crime time! And the thing going through my head was “it’s crime time, it’s crime time, gather all your friends it crime time, it’s crime time, it’s crime time, the only way to cure sadness.”

  • @alisha-7839
    @alisha-7839 4 роки тому +55

    what i read the title as: i hired a hitman to kill everyone worked with
    me: *what¿*
    sees bitlife
    thank god

  • @mysterymystery328
    @mysterymystery328 4 роки тому +21

    When he said "looks...doesnt matter", I felt that

  • @saikrishnanep2591
    @saikrishnanep2591 3 роки тому +1

    4:24
    "How dare you, who do you think you are? My Dad?"
    *instant regret*

  • @benthecartoonist3518
    @benthecartoonist3518 4 роки тому +6

    0:53 happiness at an all time low ITS MEME TIME!

  • @nugget2366
    @nugget2366 4 роки тому +110

    Sean: is sick
    Me: sees there is coronavirus in uk
    Also Me: F

    • @j.436
      @j.436 4 роки тому +1

      There's a cure lol

    • @struckrex
      @struckrex 4 роки тому +15

      Official Pixi
      Are you sure about that?

    • @FlynnWho
      @FlynnWho 4 роки тому +5

      Official Pixi you sure

    • @river_styx1477
      @river_styx1477 4 роки тому +9

      Official Pixi what news are you watching bro?

    • @balthiersgirl2658
      @balthiersgirl2658 4 роки тому +6

      @@j.436 no there bloody ain't lo!