Yeah, and this is important even if it was us breaking up with them. To show that we really contacted them to get together with genuine love. That this time, if they decide to take us back, that we will show consistent love for the rest of our life. Showing one is a new person takes time. Thank you for reminding us, Clay.
Great video. Everyone assumes exes are fully sure about their decision and feel no guilt. Your channel would grow so much quicker if you restructured the presentation.
@@ClayAndrews happy to give you some tips on UA-cam growth - I don't want your money, I see it as a way of giving back as you helped me get over my divorce through your content and I like you. Simple as that.
I can't get my ex to open up anymore. We used to talk almost every day. Even after the breakup she said she missed me etc but didn't want to get back together. I gave her 10 days of space and when I reached out to her again it's as if we were just acquaintences, texts back as if I am someone she barely knows from work or something. Even though I haven't had a needy or emotional reaction in almost a month. No matter how I behave, it doesn't seem to change.
An ex can get confused as to how she should relate to you since the two of you are no longer together. You would need to guide her to feel good talking to you again (even as friends for now). It will take time and consistency on your part for her to slowly get used to talking to you again.
Wow I believe my ex is going through all of those emotions. She told me not too long ago that she wishes she’d tried harder and fought for us being being more open, supportive and understanding to what I was going through at the time. I truly believe that if she wasn’t in a rebound relationship with another married man that we would be back together by now because we’re always joking And laugh when we have inactions with one another.
My Ex filled any insecurities with a work colleague, he left without even saying he wasn’t happy + didn’t work on any problems. He trashed the family for it.
My ex said he still love and care for me after no contact for 1.5 months..then when we reached our each other he is talking to someone and cold and hot for me.i am the always one initiate to start conversation...he told me and let me promise to stay with him as he is not ready to step up again our relationship...i felt disrespect and want his safety net.then i told him to let me go if he cant treat me well...we are in LDR and his talking to long distance woman too. He blocked me suddenly when i asked him to let me go without any single word. I am working for myself now to be better as i felt ashamed to myself after begging and pleading in him.
I am sorry to hear about what happened. I agree that working on yourself is the first step. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you've done. And though your ex has blocked you, there will be a possibility that he may unblock you. It's better that you're prepared when that happens.
I know my ex is not coming back because he left me while I was pregnant and I have a strong feeling he just plain out don’t want the family life. I wasted 7 years of my life only to become a mom for the first time and now doing it alone. However these videos are helping me get over him
My ex broke up with me 5 months ago. In this time I took time to focus on me. I’ve dropped 85lbs and have become my best self. Although she wasn’t overweight, we’ve all put on the “Covid 19”. I posted a pic a few weeks ago with my health progress. Since then she’s posted a few things on SM about trying to lose weight, and I came across her Hinge profile where she mentions how she loves cooking but right now is mainly eating salads and trying to be healthy. Part of me thinks this has something to do with my progress.
Great video, I had no idea why my ex is acting the way he does, he told me the other day that it was a mutual break up and I said no, you broke up with me, maybe he doesn’t want to feel guilty or he’s trying that I don’t see him that way, I guess I need to get past it but I’m finding it difficult
What if your ex is insecure, are they more likely to come back? My ex left our 6 year relationship and removed me completely from her life 5 months ago. Like you mentioned clay distorting a reality of you happened in my case. She villainized me and her mind despite my efforts to support.
Hi Nick, I understand that this must be tough for you. But your ex's insecurities is something that you don't have to manage. They can create a particular narratives towards you but if you are consistent with who you are and you know deep inside you the truth, it will eventually come out.
i left my bpd ex girlfriend for the 2nd time for her behaviour and she wants to give it a try again. Her reasoning is we are trying to get to know more about each other and how to deal with one another through the power struggle stage. She is really insecure and has abandonment issues, which must be triggered. I feel to make anything work boundaries must be played down and tested IMO or what’s the point of going back without accountability. I played my part in it as well. 🤷♂️
Ask yourself if the relationship is healthy for you. Like what I say, not ALL relationships are worth getting back to. You need to assess if you are willing to give your efforts to making this relationship work.
Love your videos and reading one of your books! I will say I find it hard to connect with my ex on a emotional level when she is always so shut down. We are newly broken up. Maybe it takes time. I’m working hard to follow your advice! Thank you!
Hi Larry, yes it may take some time for the emotions to settle down. This can be an opportunity for you to apply Active No Contact while giving her the needed space. :-)
He might be seeing you as a negative role in life like a dopamine or drug bcz love acts like a drug. He is happy to de attach from you right now. You can start with become a good stranger than far friend then close friend etc till you reach your agenda. Focus on how you can become a good stranger in his life.
It would be hard to guess what real reason would be. But what I know is that strong emotional connection can break any barriers. Don't focus on the reason for now. Focus on regaining the emotional connection back, even if you begin reaching out as a friend for now.
After no contact of 1 month she reached out to me and said I miss you...after that we have a normal conversation and now she pull back again...should I mirror her emotions or what?
@Coach Clay Andrews After no contact if he dont reach out i dont have plan to initiate to reconnect to him..but im planning to give him a surprise on his bday on june by asking a help from his daughter to arrange for it so that he wont know that comes from me. Its is a good idea?
Surprises might put the person offguard. We have to be realistic that both of you are not in a relationship yet. Unless something is established between the two of you, it can be an option to take. But if ever you will give a surprise bday, will you be ready to any outcome that may occur?
Only advice to live by, regardless of how good or bad your relationship was- Never initiate contact. If they contact you, you aggressively say F*** YOU 2 times minimum. And continue to grow and live a great fulfilling life. Just hope they see that and feel bad about leaving you for eternity. End of story- Don’t give it a 2nd thought.
I have an ex who told me that. Even told me I'm dumb and I'm immature, childish. He even became a fuckboy chatting me in the middle of the night and invited me to fuck with him. He showed up drunk once and invited me to fuck. I did not agree of course.
Wow that Vincent Voss is putting a commercial in front of all you other relationship coaches videos... what a piece of work.. bad practices hopefully it bites him... great video
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Yeah, and this is important even if it was us breaking up with them. To show that we really contacted them to get together with genuine love. That this time, if they decide to take us back, that we will show consistent love for the rest of our life.
Showing one is a new person takes time.
Thank you for reminding us, Clay.
Great video. Everyone assumes exes are fully sure about their decision and feel no guilt. Your channel would grow so much quicker if you restructured the presentation.
I appreciate that!
@@ClayAndrews happy to give you some tips on UA-cam growth - I don't want your money, I see it as a way of giving back as you helped me get over my divorce through your content and I like you. Simple as that.
I can't get my ex to open up anymore. We used to talk almost every day. Even after the breakup she said she missed me etc but didn't want to get back together. I gave her 10 days of space and when I reached out to her again it's as if we were just acquaintences, texts back as if I am someone she barely knows from work or something. Even though I haven't had a needy or emotional reaction in almost a month. No matter how I behave, it doesn't seem to change.
An ex can get confused as to how she should relate to you since the two of you are no longer together. You would need to guide her to feel good talking to you again (even as friends for now). It will take time and consistency on your part for her to slowly get used to talking to you again.
Wow I believe my ex is going through all of those emotions. She told me not too long ago that she wishes she’d tried harder and fought for us being being more open, supportive and understanding to what I was going through at the time. I truly believe that if she wasn’t in a rebound relationship with another married man that we would be back together by now because we’re always joking And laugh when we have inactions with one another.
It isn't too late though to still work on your emotional connection with her though. You said it yourself, she is in a REBOUND with a married man.
My Ex filled any insecurities with a work colleague, he left without even saying he wasn’t happy + didn’t work on any problems. He trashed the family for it.
I'm sorry to hear about what happened. I understand that this must be hard for you. How are you doing so far?
@@ClayAndrews I feel very angry to be honest.
My ex said he still love and care for me after no contact for 1.5 months..then when we reached our each other he is talking to someone and cold and hot for me.i am the always one initiate to start conversation...he told me and let me promise to stay with him as he is not ready to step up again our relationship...i felt disrespect and want his safety net.then i told him to let me go if he cant treat me well...we are in LDR and his talking to long distance woman too.
He blocked me suddenly when i asked him to let me go without any single word.
I am working for myself now to be better as i felt ashamed to myself after begging and pleading in him.
I am sorry to hear about what happened. I agree that working on yourself is the first step. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you've done. And though your ex has blocked you, there will be a possibility that he may unblock you. It's better that you're prepared when that happens.
This channel is so underrated! Great videos dude,
I appreciate that!
I know my ex is not coming back because he left me while I was pregnant and I have a strong feeling he just plain out don’t want the family life. I wasted 7 years of my life only to become a mom for the first time and now doing it alone. However these videos are helping me get over him
Sorry to hear this. Be strong you are in my thoughts .
My ex broke up with me 5 months ago. In this time I took time to focus on me. I’ve dropped 85lbs and have become my best self. Although she wasn’t overweight, we’ve all put on the “Covid 19”. I posted a pic a few weeks ago with my health progress. Since then she’s posted a few things on SM about trying to lose weight, and I came across her Hinge profile where she mentions how she loves cooking but right now is mainly eating salads and trying to be healthy. Part of me thinks this has something to do with my progress.
My ex didnt want me to break up with him but wouldnt give up other woman who he said he was in love with too so I saw no hope.
He sounds an unstable man. Just let him go. Don't settle for an unstable man.
It sounds like your ex has a commitment concerns that he has to work on.
Great video, I had no idea why my ex is acting the way he does, he told me the other day that it was a mutual break up and I said no, you broke up with me, maybe he doesn’t want to feel guilty or he’s trying that I don’t see him that way, I guess I need to get past it but I’m finding it difficult
What if your ex is insecure, are they more likely to come back? My ex left our 6 year relationship and removed me completely from her life 5 months ago. Like you mentioned clay distorting a reality of you happened in my case. She villainized me and her mind despite my efforts to support.
Hi Nick, I understand that this must be tough for you. But your ex's insecurities is something that you don't have to manage. They can create a particular narratives towards you but if you are consistent with who you are and you know deep inside you the truth, it will eventually come out.
You are next level! Keep it up
I appreciate that!
i left my bpd ex girlfriend for the 2nd time for her behaviour and she wants to give it a try again. Her reasoning is we are trying to get to know more about each other and how to deal with one another through the power struggle stage. She is really insecure and has abandonment issues, which must be triggered. I feel to make anything work boundaries must be played down and tested IMO or what’s the point of going back without accountability. I played my part in it as well. 🤷♂️
Ask yourself if the relationship is healthy for you. Like what I say, not ALL relationships are worth getting back to. You need to assess if you are willing to give your efforts to making this relationship work.
Dude Clay, this helped me so much!
Glad it helps you, Brian.
Love your videos and reading one of your books! I will say I find it hard to connect with my ex on a emotional level when she is always so shut down. We are newly broken up. Maybe it takes time. I’m working hard to follow your advice! Thank you!
Hi Larry, yes it may take some time for the emotions to settle down. This can be an opportunity for you to apply Active No Contact while giving her the needed space. :-)
This helps a lot.
You’re so wise !
Thanks, Jenni :-)
I'm def at this bit now all of it but it's been almost 2 years tho.
Yes
Why
Well for me now the only excuse I'm getting from my ex boyfriend is still its just wont work out. No other reason just that.
He might be seeing you as a negative role in life like a dopamine or drug bcz love acts like a drug. He is happy to de attach from you right now. You can start with become a good stranger than far friend then close friend etc till you reach your agenda. Focus on how you can become a good stranger in his life.
It would be hard to guess what real reason would be. But what I know is that strong emotional connection can break any barriers. Don't focus on the reason for now. Focus on regaining the emotional connection back, even if you begin reaching out as a friend for now.
@@ClayAndrews Thank you.
After no contact of 1 month she reached out to me and said I miss you...after that we have a normal conversation and now she pull back again...should I mirror her emotions or what?
That can be an opportunity to work on building a strong connection. :-)
@Coach Clay Andrews
After no contact if he dont reach out i dont have plan to initiate to reconnect to him..but im planning to give him a surprise on his bday on june by asking a help from his daughter to arrange for it so that he wont know that comes from me.
Its is a good idea?
If i were you I would not initiate something for an unstable man. He sounds like he is still confused and needs some time thinking.
Surprises might put the person offguard. We have to be realistic that both of you are not in a relationship yet. Unless something is established between the two of you, it can be an option to take. But if ever you will give a surprise bday, will you be ready to any outcome that may occur?
@@ClayAndrews i will think of that coach..thanks for the response..
Cap
I love the videos.. but man.. those sound effects are terrible! The little pop sound when you are bringing up a point... ugh
Noted!
@@ClayAndrews i actually like the sounds though 😭
... for the algorithm🙄.. you're welcome😌
Only advice to live by, regardless of how good or bad your relationship was- Never initiate contact. If they contact you, you aggressively say F*** YOU 2 times minimum. And continue to grow and live a great fulfilling life. Just hope they see that and feel bad about leaving you for eternity. End of story- Don’t give it a 2nd thought.
I have an ex who told me that. Even told me I'm dumb and I'm immature, childish. He even became a fuckboy chatting me in the middle of the night and invited me to fuck with him. He showed up drunk once and invited me to fuck. I did not agree of course.
Be stoic, not spiteful.
First lol
Wow that Vincent Voss is putting a commercial in front of all you other relationship coaches videos... what a piece of work.. bad practices hopefully it bites him... great video