Ethnically I am Slovene. I live in the US and I am from the US, but my family came to US from Slovenia to escape ethnic cleansing, from my understanding of it, around World War 2. My family loves to celebrate the culture, the ideals of things, I almost feel out of place, as I was taught to communicate everything to my parents, partners, friends, really anyone I am close with. This is very much ingrained from my Great Grandmother and my Grandmother, as well as my Mother. It is how I was raised, it is very strange. I am currently going through the process of researching what I need to apply, get all the necessary permits and everything to go to College in Slovenia. My family is specifically from Novo Mesto, I still have a lot of family there. There is a Slavic Village in Cleveland and this is one of my favorite places to go as everyone just kind of understands each other, is more open, more aligned with the same ideals. Anyways, wish me luck in getting all those permits and everything to go to college in Slovenia and to live there. (this includes convincing my parents, who aren't incredibly open to the idea of leaving)
4:45 Every student of foreign language should listen to this. What many people don't understand is. Understanding foreign language, really understanding it and grasping it is about learning vocabulary and grimmer as much as knowing culture too. Even people from native speaking English countries sometimes have problems understanding each other because they have different cultures. What is language but vocal expression of our culture.
I'm Slovene and my wife is also Slovene. We're married for 26+ years, and we still say " I love you" to each other every day, sometimes several times a day. Oh yes, welcome to Slovenia :)
Being a Slovene that has lived abroad and had international relationships I would say this is quite an accurate description. Also feel kinda flattered as a Slovene :D Keep up the fun posts :D
Hi Mariah. I agree almost with everything you said, but men and women are very different when you change the region of Slovenia. The Slovene from the coast is more open and "warmer" than a typical Slovene from Ljubljana. I can guarantee that 👍🏻
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I must say I'm loving this "about Slovenia" series :) I also experience that thing about Slovenian man wanting to talk deeply about every little tiny thing (and I'm not used on that). Misunderstandings are our major challenge as a multicultural couple, and sometimes I just have the will to say "You know what?! Forget it!", but I know this is not the solution, so we do our best to keep in mind that sometimes we might be saying things that don't make literal sense to the other element, and we use examples to make it clearer.
My two cents from Dolenska: Extremely clean environment, sense of community, affordable living, housing. Literary the geographical center of Europe -in 5 hours by car you reach quite some destinations, by plane, all of Europe is just 2 hours away. Multiple possibilities of Skiing in the winter, swimming in the summer. Excellent utilities provided (no electricity shortfall, you can drink the tap water, very good internet connections etc.). Oh, and no danger of PC offending anybody. Logically thinking, I am not sure why anybody would move out of Slovenia apart from career choices...
About ''I love you'' in Slovene, it's really strong word and we use it for special occasions. Also in one slovenian movie there is a scene where guy complains about awkwardness of the word ljubim te and that's easier to say English version (as it would have less impact) (:
Completely agree with you regarding ''I love you'' and regarding starting a new business. We are traditional people and we don't say it in public to the partner because this have a strong meaning and it is meant to be used only to a partner - that does not have to be a word used in a friends circles or in general it is reserved for a person/partner who deserves it. While, I have been working together with American people for the last 7 years and I will say something - everything is awesome, everyone likes or loves something, everything is nice, just a little little thing is nice what it is trivial for us that it's ok and it's not big deal - so in general Americans are making an elephant from the mouse :) don't get me wrong, it's ok, it's the way how culture is built. But is it truly meant what you are saying? I would say so, most of that sentences are used for encourage person or to make the conversation flow but in general nobody really care - it's just being polite in a some way, that all. So the difference in I love you between being polite or truly mean that is huge :) Now regarding business: Slovenia is a very small country and very small market. So, you basically don't have an unlimited options selling something to someone which will impact a lot to you income. I know a friends from America selling something that will never sell here, because there is no people to sell it to. The second mayor thing is government outcomes and taxes and social system. If you want to earn for living you need to sell for let say 2000€ per month - 1000€ from that income is ''reserved'' for taxes and other incomes related to government. So, when you are employed, the company takes care of it, but when you are on your own, it's much more difficult. I strongly believe that this is a wrong way to go from Slovenia because in general the population is educated above average and anyone in Slovenia knows something to maybe make a business from it, but it does not happening because of the system - I am saying that because many Slovenian people are very desirable in foreign countries as a workers - highly educated persons with strong working habits, but they needed to leave a country for a better tomorrow. And yes, when you do the math, you will see that in many cases you wont earn more than if you wait for a social paycheck and doing nothing. That's WRONG here!
I feel completely identified with u, my boyfriend is from Slovenia and I'm Mexican, we have been together for 3 year and next year we are getting marriage. Really different cultures but I can't wait for it.
The comment about physical affection is spot on, and as a Slovene, I can say it's probably the cultural etiquette or "bonton" in Slovene, that defines how we act in public, especially towards the people we care about deeply. Showing affection, to friends and being happy and "in a good mood" is something you can show and enjoy in public. While expressing serious affection is done in private, with family and partners, the people you most trust and care for., making it much more intimate, it might seem cold on the outside, but it has a much deeper meaning than just I love you, it also means I trust you, believe in you and support you. Well at least as I see and analyze my own behaviour, and from a few conversations with friends. Otherwise, I enjoy your posts, it's interesting to see how people from other cultural backgrounds see us, sort of a mirror to our behaviour. Thx
I can't believe it ! My partner and I always had conversations about the" I love you:" word as well and showing verbal affection part . But now I can realize that this is a Slovenian thing! 😅 But also we tend to realize that over using that word makes it loose its meaning . So maybe he doesn't say it but his actions proves it so much. And that's what I like about my Slovenian man😊 And also the good thing is the never fight part, just small arguments . ( life's too short to fight in a foreign language ) Hehe you were so on point in everything Mariah !
@samosekaj It's not lying - nor pretending - it's a cultural thing with the English that is so engrained that they don't really know what they mean any more. With the English you really need to have telepathy to understand what is meant. Can I please recommend a book called Watching the English by Kate Fox who is an English social anthropologist who said: "Why do my colleagues go all the way to the Amazon jungle to study strange tribes who live there when the strangest tribe of all is living here on our doorstep." Her view is that emotionally the English suffer from sub-clinical autism - there are many pros and cons to that - but once you get that idea on board, relationships with the English become much easier. The Scots on the other hand are much closer in character to the Slovenes.
Uau, kudos for this in-depth gem! I absolutely loved your observation abour difficulties in communication that arise out of cultural and linguisic reasons. And the one on use of "love". Spot on!
Very spot on. The "I love you" thing is so real. The younger generation tends to use it more (at least at the start of their relationship), but saying "ljubim te" to someone just feels so... I don't know, strange or awkward for us. xD I also think the fact that you don't really see couples being affectionate stems from Slovenians just being more private people in general, so they don't want to kiss/hold hands/etc. in public/in front of other people (because they believe that stuff is only the business of the two people involved). But again, I think the younger generation is breaking out of that mindset.
Hello Mariah, I've been enjoying your videos. Thankyou for doing them. I am half Scottish and half English - but for the past 15 years the village where I live in the English Lake District near the Scottish border has been twinned with a small town in Slovene - Zreče, blizu Celje. I lead community choirs, and singing holidays - we come to Slovenia two or three times a year and sing the narodni pesmi - Slovenian folk songs - and I love that thing where we can be singing on the way up a mountain like Triglav and we meet complete strangers who will know the alto parts of our song and join us in the singing. (There's an Irish song we sing where translated the chorus into Slovene and sing it both languages: "Naj v srcu ni strahu, tujcev ni tu, le prijatelji, ki jih še ne poznaš" and that often says something about meeting Slovenes who I don't know, there is an instant sense of friendship - in a male kind of way - bonding through doing something together. ) I have also been in an international relationship with a German lass for about 15 years, and our daughter is half German and half English (she has ambitions to rule the world, but is just too polite to do it.) And like you am interested in the differences. One of them is the way the English need at least 30 minutes to say goodbye - in fact, in England we have an expression "Saying our goodbyes" - plural. While my father in law was always very good at saying his goodbye very honestly, in about 3 minutes - something like: "Well, I know you don't believe in God, but may Good be with you and keep you safe. Goodbye." And he would shake my hand. And that was it. And I was left thinking "What did I do wrong? Why is he angry with me?" There's an old saying which has some truth in it - the English are too polite to be honest, and the Germans are too honest to be polite. What interests me, is that although the English and the Americans share a common language we are so far apart in our cultures that I have known Americans coming to the UK who have been left saying, "We speak a common language, but I don't understand what you're saying at all." I think because the English so rarely say what they mean - and very often are so embedded in their culture, that they don't even know what they mean. And also the use of irony and humour is so embedded in the English culture that no one ever really knows if we are joking or really mean it - the Slovenes will use irony in the same way but will let you know with a big "..." to let you know - but the English just launch into this huge ironic spiel which can go on for a whole day - or even longer - especially if they know that the American doesn't know what's going on. It's not meant to be cruel - but often is. I met a writer once who had a Japanese mother, and an English father and he was living in Scotland. He said it was all about how oblique people are with their use of language. So - for instance - if a man walks into a house and he smells, the host in a Japanese home might say: "Ah, the cherry blossom falls in spring." From which you might assume there is some rain. Some water. And might assume that some washing could be needed. The smelly man walks into an English man's house and the host might say, "Ah, I say old chap, there's plenty of water in the emersion heater." Again, an implied meaning, though a bit less oblique. Hot water. Bathroom. Washing. But when the man walks into a Scottish house the host says: "Ya stink!" I think Americans are closer to the Scots, and the Slovenes are somewhere between the English and the Germans. Here's the thing - even though we speak the same language, I think the English are closer in culture to the Germans and the Slovenes than we are to the Americans - you have invented something quite new, it's very refreshing for us from the old world to witness it - you have a sort of hopeful confidence that you can make of your lives whatever you want, which for us Brits takes a bit longer, and for Slovenes is almost impossible. I have choirs who visit us here in the Lake District where I live near the Scottish border. Sometimes they come with their teenage choir, who have to be taught about local customs - one of which is that the English tend to wait until they are offered something, while the American teenager will (apparently, according to their choir leader) walk into a house where they are staying and help themselves from the fridge. And the other way round - I took some English people to meet an American friend for a meal, she had some wine on the table, and after a while said: "Hey, guys aren't you thirsty? Do you not drink? " So I told her - "you'll have to offer it to them, they won't just help themselves." My American friend didn't believe me - but the others confirmed this was true. What I find very interesting in Slovenia is that Slovenia never had an empire - quite rare in Europe with the French, Spanish, Portugese, Belgium, Dutch, German, English, Roman, Greek, etc. etc. all having had one, and all having inherited an enormous confidence from that - even if we hate the whole idea of empire, we inherit that confidence form our ancestors. While in Slovenia they need to have won the Olympics to feel confident - and even then, it's something very calm - not boastful - just, "OK, I did it. Now what?" I love that - it's so refreshing - like meeting humanity in the raw. There's another thing I notice - Slovenes are incredibly hospitable, very kind to visitors, amazingly so - but often aren't very nice to each other. Maybe they are like some family where everyone fights, sort of familiarity breeding contempt or something. But it's strange to see after all the warm welcome we receive. I remember a priest after a concert telling the Slovenes "You should be as kind to each other as you are to the visitors." I think as well there are huge differences between those who live in the countryside and those who live in the city. And also between the young and the old. And between men and women. Sometimes when I am in Slovenia with people my own age who live in the same sort of place, I think "We have so much in common - the differences between our countries is much less than what we have in common." And then I visit somewhere like London or Paris or Ljubljana and think, these city folk are just different. One thing that does interest me is feminism in Slovenia. We have had over 50 years of women fighting for equality here in the UK, and the men have sort of got the hang of what they can and can't do when they are with women. But in Slovenia it often seems like men say and do things which shock us "reconstructed men." Maybe it's only older men - maybe younger men are very different, less macho. But the women in Slovenia aren't weaklings, don't appear to be downtrodden - in fact, they often seem much tougher than English women - maybe because they speak their mind more, while the English woman has to be at the end of her tether before she'll roast a man on the spit of justified feminist outrage. I'd be interested in your views on this. Here's an example. I took my choir to visit a school in Ljubljana. We were driving three minibuses and it was a bit tricky getting into the parking space, so my Slovenian friend asked one of the women driving if he could drive it into space - whereupon the woman driver launched into this whole attack about how she as perfectly capable of driving as any man and didn't need to be patronised. I could see it coming. I look forward to seeing more of your videos Mariah. Good luck with it all - lep pozdrav iz Sedbergha, David
Eh David.Glede tvoje izjave ,da Slovenci nismo nikoli imeli svojega imperija ,bi te spomnil ,da smo mi SLOVANSKA država.Vzemi zemljevid in poglej si kakšen del zemeljske oble smo zasedli mi Slovani.Poglej si tudi kako smo se mi Slovenci ,Čehi in Poljaki zarinili globoko v bok vašim "imperijem" ali pa mogoče tudi ti misliš , ko smo leta 700 prišli sem ,da smo prišli v prazen prostor.Še boljše vprašanje je kako ,da kljub vsem tem vašim imperijem ,nas niste uspeli asimilirat ali pregnat iz tega ozemlja.Res pa je ,da sedaj nimamo nekih imperijskih teženj vendar bo tako ostalo samo dokler nas boste pustili na miru ;)
@@slovili Najlepša hvala za odgovor Slovili - v tem, kar govoriš, je veliko razmisleka. Leta 700, čeprav so bili Grki in Rimljani v lasti nekaj zelo velikih imperijev, številni drugi kraji v Evropi skoraj niso postali država - Britanci, Nemci, Francozi so bili še vedno večinoma zbirke vojskujočih se plemen. Zelo zanimivo je razmišljati o slovanskem imperiju, ki se potiska v Evropo in postane Slovenija. Zelo me zanima keltski vpliv v Sloveniji - verjamem, da medtem ko je večina Keltov odšla naprej na Škotsko, Wales in Irsko, so nekateri ostali v današnji Sloveniji. Ali je to res, mislite? Slišal sem zgodbo: Sveti Peter je sedel z Bogom na oblaku, potem ko je ustvaril svet. Sveti Peter je bil zelo navdušen, vendar je opazil nekaj pomembnih razlik. Rekel je: "Kaj sta ti dve državi z vsemi tistimi čudovitimi gorami in jezeri in slapovi ter čudovitim morjem in ljudmi, ki skupaj pojejo?" Bog je odgovoril: "No, ta je Slovenija, druga pa Škotska." Sveti Peter je bil navdušen: "Zelo so lepi - vendar mislim, da ste jim dali preveč." Bog se je nasmehnil in odgovoril: "Ah, samo počakaj, dokler ne vidiš sosedov, ki sem jim jih dal."
When you were talking about the intimate/personal "i love you", that's so true. I can recall every time I said it to someone. Regarding showing physical affection to their significant other, its just not as common to display such things in public, as it is seen as childish, especially in the 20-40 age group.
Very good description of Slovenes and i can relate to your story a lot. I am Slovene my wife is Chinese. Speak of different background and culture, lol.... She came in Yugoslavia few years before it break apart. She speak Slovenian and i dont know a damn thing about chinese language. She is teaching me chinese like Luka is teaching you Slovenian, hehe. Anyway we are together about 14 years, have 2 beautifull little girls and life is beautifull (mostly) :)
Not really. But i guess i am not typical Slovenian like luka, hehe Yeah, sometimes it is... she speaks slovenian quite good, but its easier if both have same mother language... (do you say mother language or ?)
I hear you. They are not by nature overtly affectionate. Mine was born in Australia as an English speaker so we don't have the language difficulties and grew up with mostly Aussies so no cultural issues either. However, I do understand and his dad is Slovene born, mum is Croatian technically - they have been here ages but still miss their countries :) I fortunately am able to fit in with them. I did notice travelling in Slovenia that I was somewhat of an oddity as an Aussie female - more "out there" and blunt, not afraid to express myself and my opinions. Sometimes males mistook my behaviour as flirting though! Oops!
Im a 14 year old British and im dating a slovenian guy and I don't know if we'll stay long enough to live together till death but I actually 50% relate
The physical/verbal affection - idk about that, we ALWAYS hold hands and occasionally kiss (peck) and hug in public. At home we kiss, hug and cuddle A LOT. He tells me he loves me every day "I love you" and "Ljubim te" when it's really special and it's weird to hear it, it's so intense. I never tell my friends I love them, just realizing we don't have a word for that. "Všeč mi je/si mi" is more for stuff you like or the person you find attractive. Business - depends on family background. My family was very business oriented and now I am too, but most families aren't so most don't grow up with this. My boyfriend was also from a more worker family and it took years to make him think a bit differently and motivate him.
Well quite close. Slovenia is small beautiful country with small population, therefor everybody got their unique mind. But its good yes that you like it, on the otherhand i dont want to go back beacuse like you said no bussines. Im also looking for international relationship. 😉 peace.
So true about public affection and i love you thing... I would never say rada te imam to my family, cuz it sounds a little weird besides we have never used it in our family. But being in international relationship i think that its much more romantic to say "te amo" and not "ljubim te"...this one feels a little weird to me :)
podjetnik je pri nas še vedno razumljen kot razredni sovražnik, pri čemer ti kot zunanja opazovalka to vidiš in tudi veš, zakaj, mi pa večinoma ne. hvala za še en dober vlog :)
Yes, I totally understand it. My wife is from Massachusetts and I’m from Austria. There is a lot of cultural differences to overcome. It is great to see both worlds, but sometimes not satisfying if the other can’t read between the lines. Also little towns in Austria are very closed and conservative to a point that they won’t let you in. Cities are much more cosmopolitan. So here we are between two worlds.
American culture is really much more macho with regards to the expectations they have of either sex than most Americans would care to admit... There seems to be a greater divide between the men and the women and part of that is the lack of communication. I mean, they have this stereotype idea of the Slavic cave man, etc. but it's actually more the other way around... More emotional isolation and less depth with Brits, Americans and other Anglo-Saxon-based cultures. At least in my experience... Just one big tip: Hints. Anglo-Saxon males get hints (sort-of), but Slovenians are much more straight-forward and you need to communicate things to them accordingly. Hinting is seen as beating about the bush here and even maybe as expressing yourself in a sly or half-hearted manner. (I was actually berated and called a hypocrite by a woman once when I was only trying to drop polite hints in a way that would have been considered perfectly normal in Australia, but I have since learned to be more "direct" sometimes - in a way that would be considered verging on crass Down Under :D ). It's just a cultural thing, I think. Oh, and the older generation is not that open to travelling, but the younger one definitely is.
Thanks for making this video. As a Slovenian American born in the US. I understand myself better from your experience on things i struggle with here. One thing is dating. I expect a good conversation before i ask a girl out. Here they just say " good how are you" and reply "nothing" when i ask what's new. I interpreted this as not interested to this day. So, no one here is interested in me lol that is prob not the case. :)
It is very easy to open a company in Slovenia, you can even do it online and it is free of charge. But having your own company means more energy and Slovenians like their comfort living from 8 - 16, regular salary every 15th and 25 paid vacation days + 11-13 days paid national holidays. While having your own company makes you work harder. Socialism is still very present in people's hearts and the national system too. Communication challenges are always present between a man and a woman. Even between same gender people. I was always in an international relationships and I figured out that the challenges had much to do with our general knowledge and understanding of things and how we perceive them based on our life experiences. Cultural and sociological differences just add up to all of it. P.S. another Slovenian thing: we tend to write long sentences that can get as long as a paragraph :D "Ljubim te" is a very strong and old fashioned phrase but there are so many other phrases that both man and women would be more comfortable saying and receiving it. Great channel! I binge watched it and you are great to have moved here!
Very interesting. I agree here Americans say I love you WAY to much. But I noticed it when my daughters were growing up .. b4 that not as much ... I think it loses sometime when it’s said to everyone .. special close friends yes I can see I have a friend we have been friends over 30 years and we say it to each other ..can’t wait for tomorrow’s “ Slovene moment”
I'm in international relationships with Canadian. We never fight too. Probably because of language differences as you said. But that's challenge in life
I’m chinese, married slovene too. The first year we fought a lot for many meaningless small things like what cups to use for water, what for tea, etc. this is the biggest challenge to marry a foreigner. Cuz all cultural shocks are enlarged. But when we live longer, we don’t fight at all. And his merits are enlarged .
My dear, you are lucky girl, don’t let him go. Even when he is not saying I love you every five minutes. I can tell you he love you very much, how ever
Love is very frightened bird. Keep him tided When I told my wife , I love you every morning , she use to answer , OK OK , I am gonna shut up whole day. You newer know women....
Slovenian married to an Australian here. The misscomunication happens all the time exactly as you described :) it is hard to explain but I absolutely understand. I need to show this to my husband, he will feel for the language part as well.
Psychology says that one of the most difficult things to communicate in a second language is feelings. Foreign people can learn English but they will always fell more comfortable communicating feelings in their own language. I've known hundreds of mixed cultures marriages and both people always need to have someone to communicate in their own primary language. The women call their moms and the men call a friend or brother. Good communication is very important for a good relationship. I imagine Mariah has some American friends with who she shares some things that because of language and cultural differences sometimes it is harder to communicate with the husband.
I´m Dominican living in Slovenia. My girl is Slovenian and we have been together for already 8 years and we have gone through every single thing you just said. It is certainly a matter of culture, language, etc. and yes, they have words to say TE QUIERO and TE AMO which in English is written same way but pronunciation and situation makes the difference. By the way, we still get in some conversations miss understandings hahaha.
My first wife died from eating poisonous mushrooms... My second and third wife also. My fourth wife died from cracked skull and broken back. She refused to eat poisonous mushrooms...
Quite accurate what you're saying. I've talked to many people and the word "ljubim te" sounds akward even to us. So we use "rad te imam" on a frequent basis. It should be a word for describing affection to a friend for example, but men usually don't use that either (except if we're really drunk). Regarding business you are so right. We have a socialist heritage and even if we have a so called "free economy" we never really completely let go of socialism, so being successfull as an entrepeneur is really hard. Especially unlogical to an American is our tax system which is quite the nightmare. You pay your tax upfront even though you haven't made any money that month for example.I described this to a Texan once and he was just shakin' his head in disbelief:))))
I totally understand what you mean when it comes to the differences with the two cultures. You will never see open displays of affection between people, be that physical or verbal. Expressing love, joy or anger, are not typical Slovenian traits, which can be very frustrating when you sometimes want a passionate response to something...guess what? you're not gonna get it! As for Rad ti imam...once it''s said, that's it, you'll rarely ever hear it again. It's assumed that it shouldn't be necessary to repeat, and if you challenge this, they'll probably say, "of course I do, I'm here with you, that should be proof enough". Spend ages preparing a meal and you'll rarely get a compliment, if they eat it all then they don't feel it needs mentioning....It's as if you are expected to read between the lines of things, they don't understand, that now and again we need to hear that we're appreciated, loved etc...a small word of kindness here and there...otherwise you get the feeling you're being taken for granted.! I've learnt not to bang my head against a brick wall with the differences...that's not to say that I accept them all, to do that would be to deny my own upbringing and cultural background...I just don't let these things bother me...or you'll go insane with frustration. Put it this way...call it stubborness, arrogance or rigidity, but (generally) a Slovenian man is not open to being flexible or changing themselves for anyone. Ask them the meaning of compromise in a relationship....it's foreign words to them.
Sometimes it feels like running into a very "traditional" mindset. I mean that in the sense of 100 years ago as farmers, men had roles, women had roles, the main focus was survival. I can feel like that's still in the culture at times.
Slovenia it's so peaceful place and when you find that place, you dont wanna go out of this beautiful peaceful place.. Slovenia its much more big that you think.. Ljubim te je zelo mocna beseda, rajse recemo rad te imam. Love you je zelo izrabljena beseda.
Hello! You are very pretty, I love you :) You said that there is a language barrier in your relationship, that if someone is saying "A", and the other one interprets it like "B". I must say that both, my wife and me are native Slovene speakers, and this also happens to us all the time. Sometimes I have a feeling I am speaking Swahili, and not Slovene. So, perhaps you might consider whether this is a gender issue, and not the language issue ;)
I am marrying a Russian man who was born in Ukraine and spent years in America and Slovenia. I will say, Russian is extremely hard, but hearing about more Eastern Europe culture, the more I wonder if it's a thing that passes through there. Our relationship though is weird. The physical affection for us is more him checking on me because of my illnesses and disabilities, so I always wonder if it's perhaps actual affection.
My family comes from Montenegro but I was born and raised in Slovenia East Europe is very interesting The Turks brought their food and Islam to Balkan. The Soviets had an big impact on East Europe. I wish you the best of luck in your marriage.
It is a bit odd that English uses love in such a wide meaning. We use two phrases "rad te imam" and "ljubim te" as I love you, and "ljubim te" is more than just "rad te imam"
I'm Slovene and I can assure you that Luka is not a typical Slovene guy, that's probably why you too get along so well :D Your observations are right, specially the one that Slovene are very attached to Slovenia and their families. I hate it, haha. My previous relationship with a Slovene ended pretty much because of that. I doubt I will ever marry a Slovene man since the majority has a very strong emotional attachment to their parents/friends/village etc and I find it frustrating and unattractive. :D
You do know that Americans are way more attached and "proud" to their country? They travel lesser as well. But for the family, of course you will be attached I mean it is important to everyone in every country.
I think it's a more European thing. Men seem especially attached to their mothers. In America we find it as a source of pride and accomplishment to move out at 18 and be independent from your parents. Here, many people only move when they marry OR just live in the same house on another floor with their new spouse! I think this is where the differences are that I was talking about.
That’s exactly what I wanted to say, Mariah! You are a good observer of Slovene culture 😉 Typical Slovene is not proud of his/her country but would at the same time NEVER leave it since his/her attachment to parents/home village is way too strong. Americans in general probably travel less to other countries but that’s because USA is so so so big compared to Slovenia! It’s the whole continent! In Slovenia you drive one or maybe two hours with a car and you’re already in another country 😉 And yes, men in general are definitely attached to their mothers in SLO (also women). When typical Slovene finishes college he finds a job, gets married and lives in the same house with his/her new wife/husband because it’s cheaper and mother’s cooking is so delicious, haha. Now tell me, did I describe a typical American? :‘D Ofc NOT every Slovene is like that, but a lot of them are. This is a typical Slovene lifestyle and village life is still very important to many Slovenes. I’m Slovene myself and this typical Slovene lifestyle doesn’t suit me at all.
thingxofxthings It is very rare to find a person who is married to live with parents. Maybe in older generation the practice was pretty common but mostly in today age if you are married and have finance to go somewhere, you will not leave with your parents, except you are super cheap, which it has to do with what kind of person you are. :)
Growing up Australian with Slovene parents one of the hardest things (there were many) was never hearing I love you, getting hugs or any praise like my friends did. 😔
Langus langus If you are saying I am not Aboriginal or that my ancestry is Slovenian you are right but I was born here so am a 2nd generation Australian.
I'm marrying a Slovene and live in medvode. The observation about a Slovene partner talking in great detail about most things seems to be completely accurate. Or coincidental in our cases lol. And I noticed most American couples enjoy more space and me time. In a Slovene relationship that doesn't exist.
Dober opis, Slovencev v razmerju, pasti v razmerju med dvema iz različnih kultur, pa ni nujo, da sta iz različnih držav. Bolj mislim, da gre za vzgojo, za odnos od malih naprej z okolico.
Im from Slovenia. Did you go to Ptuj yet (thats where I am :p). You can see one of the oldest city and castle in Slovenia. I watched your 10 thing I love about Sloven People. You were right about the weddings :L
I think we live in two different Slovenias :)... for me, and most of foreigners I know here, consider that Slovenian don't speak about deep thoughts or feelings, they can speak about their private life or thoughts with very few people, usually one or 2 friends. Your experience and mine is completely the opposite. 😂😂
This is great. As a native Floridian whose family is from Georgia, Alabama and North Carolina, I will comment that Californians (at least the white ones) are some of the most "closed mouthed" people I EVER encountered. I moved here in 1983 and after a lot of research, this is what I concluded. Florida welcomes 5 times it's population as visitors every year, and most of us have lived around New Yorkers, Cubans, and eastern Mid-Westerners (Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, etc) all our lives, so we know the rich variety of human expression. Most of the white people in CA (in the mid 20th century) came from the "Nordic Mid-West. Places like Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, the Dakotas, etc. Those states were all infilled with Norwegians, Sweeds and Germans. They are NOT talkative, particularly the men. In the South, most white people came from the Scotch-Irish and Irish background. Oscar Wilde said it best, "The Irish live to talk." Add to that the rich linguistics of West Africans, and you get some amazing conversation and language usage. Slavic people (my father's side) are also VERY loquacious. Story telling is a high art form. If you had grown up in The South, you would find Slovenes "right out of your back yard" in terms of humor, language use, and the love of expression. Glad you're adjusting.
That's the problem in Europe. People aren't patriotic anymore. They're not proud of the soil they've been birthed upon. They'd rather leave their homeland, instead of working on improving it, helping it.
LukaV Maybe they are in that positions when they see other, better job etc in other countries. Here is not all sunshine and rainbow especially on the job department. So do not be rude about it, because at in the end of the day people do what think is the best for them.
Tidi D that's the problem. This individualistic mindset. They do what's best for THEM, instead of what's best for their nation, for their people. People are way too selfish nowadays.
LukaV Why would you do something that does not make you happy? Will nation bring you happiness? Food to the table? Love? No? Then of course you will do what is the best for you, because you are living your life, you have to live it, not everybody else. The sheep mindset is destructive and I do not agree with it. Slovenian in general have it way too much and should have that what I think mindset not what a neighboor said, heard whatever.
Tidi D yes, the nation should bring you happiness. If you work for your nation, the nation gives back. If we have a shit government, well, fucking destroy it, and make it better, instead of abandoning it, like a little pussy who has no pride in their land.
My dear Mariah, orange is orange and red is red. And if you and your Luka want to make an argument out out of it, go ahead. You are both nuts. And do not overuse the name CULTURE. I think we are dealing with attitude. If your Luka cannot express himself to you, how come you got married? I was borne in Slovenia and grew up speaking Slovenian and Italian. Moved to Canada, where I learned Ukrainian, English and French. My job took me across the North American Continent. In South America I learned Spanish. In Bosnia I became fluent in Serbo Croatian. My Russian is pretty good. I was on the Volga Cruise. Saw Japan, Korea, Vladivostok and Beijing. In the city where I leave now, it is said that it has ten and ten thousands of young, beautiful Chinese and very rich women. (And I know many of them). My point: The places I've noted - are the places where I found the people to be all the same - that means the same CULTURE. The difference is that in some places of the world, some people are more skilled to deceive, cheat and lie. Good luck. It will not take long to find out what you are promoting.
What are you talking about 8:50 to 9:30? Doesn't make any sense? Slovenian men hugging, showing affection and being close to each other and that is very normal here? No, it's not. Where did you see that? You've must of met some gays or feminine men or maybe some balkan immigrant guys (Serbia, Bosnia, Kosovo... they are more emotional), but definetly not Slovenians. You couldn't be more wrong, that's really not a typical Slovenian thing, I can assure you that, that's what Indian (country) men do. If anything Slovenian charachter is more cold, no emotions, like Austrians.
Yes, they do it in Phillipines, India, Turkey, even Serbia (orthodox), Kosovo (muslims)... but Slovenian men? No way, Jose. Probably you've seen guys with background from other ex Yugoslavia republics, a huge diaspora live in Ljubljana, they just have other traditions and habits than Slovenians do. Fact. There is no other logical explanation.
It's like comparing Irish, Chinese, Pakistani or Italian communities born in USA. Yes, they are all Americans standing for national anthems, being influenced by Hollywood and American popculture....but they were just raised in different cultures, religion, food, family traditions etc. So, my point is, traditional original Slovenes (catholics) have very different habits and traditions than orthodox or muslims from other parts of Yugoslavia, who were born or moved to Slovenia.
Probably she meant female population in general. And for me hugging is a big deal, In all families i had interact with, they are very hugging people. In also in my family it is a big deal. :)
It is extremly dull to listen to this lady. She couldn't maybe widen the argument? I understand that she has personal experiences. But it is difficult to share them with other people.
Ha! This is my life! My husband is first generation Japanese-American. His parents are both native Japanese (living in Japan now) and it's been soooooooooooooo interesting how communication, affection, and general thought processes affect our relationship and how we are raising or son. We're still trying to work out the kinks especially when it comes to idioms and random phrases that he's never heard before that have been a part of my lexicon since I started talking. I feel ya, sister!
If an average Slovenian meet a good friend from the past (guy or girl) after 5-10 years or even relative, the only thing he does is shake her/his hand and asks how are you or what's up. And that's it. No hugging, no kissing, no I love you, no I missed you....
vivaldi mausfalle LOL! For you is normal to show this kind of affections to every person you know? This ''southern'' mentality is fake as fuck. What kind of good friend/relative is that if you see them every 5-10 years? And second. Slovenian show this kind of affections when a: drunk (in vino veritas) :D b: to a best friend In other words. When Slovenian show this kind of warmth, you know is real.
I only agree with drunk part (not always). But come on man, are you serius? An average slovenian guy hug his male friend on a daily basis or after months/years you don't see them you ran to them and tell you love them? Who are you kidding. Maybe italians, french, germans, south balkan show this affection. But slovenians? Hahaha, where do you live, man. Maybe birthdays and new year eves, otherwise no, no & no.
Ethnically I am Slovene. I live in the US and I am from the US, but my family came to US from Slovenia to escape ethnic cleansing, from my understanding of it, around World War 2. My family loves to celebrate the culture, the ideals of things, I almost feel out of place, as I was taught to communicate everything to my parents, partners, friends, really anyone I am close with. This is very much ingrained from my Great Grandmother and my Grandmother, as well as my Mother. It is how I was raised, it is very strange. I am currently going through the process of researching what I need to apply, get all the necessary permits and everything to go to College in Slovenia. My family is specifically from Novo Mesto, I still have a lot of family there. There is a Slavic Village in Cleveland and this is one of my favorite places to go as everyone just kind of understands each other, is more open, more aligned with the same ideals.
Anyways, wish me luck in getting all those permits and everything to go to college in Slovenia and to live there. (this includes convincing my parents, who aren't incredibly open to the idea of leaving)
Hey do you mind if i ask how is it going brother? Are you going to slovenia still? Pozdrav 👋
4:45 Every student of foreign language should listen to this.
What many people don't understand is. Understanding foreign language, really understanding it and grasping it is about learning vocabulary and grimmer as much as knowing culture too. Even people from native speaking English countries sometimes have problems understanding each other because they have different cultures. What is language but vocal expression of our culture.
I'm Slovene and my wife is also Slovene. We're married for 26+ years, and we still say " I love you" to each other every day, sometimes several times a day. Oh yes, welcome to Slovenia :)
You say "I love you" only once at the beginning. And you are good for next 20 years. :D
Lol. Send more love!
My man 😂😂 he said it once and that’s it
Yes, that ”love” word is reserved for like when you really really really really really really really mean it. 😁
res? :)
Being a Slovene that has lived abroad and had international relationships I would say this is quite an accurate description. Also feel kinda flattered as a Slovene :D Keep up the fun posts :D
Hi Mariah. I agree almost with everything you said, but men and women are very different when you change the region of Slovenia. The Slovene from the coast is more open and "warmer" than a typical Slovene from Ljubljana. I can guarantee that 👍🏻
I must say I'm loving this "about Slovenia" series :) I also experience that thing about Slovenian man wanting to talk deeply about every little tiny thing (and I'm not used on that). Misunderstandings are our major challenge as a multicultural couple, and sometimes I just have the will to say "You know what?! Forget it!", but I know this is not the solution, so we do our best to keep in mind that sometimes we might be saying things that don't make literal sense to the other element, and we use examples to make it clearer.
My two cents from Dolenska: Extremely clean environment, sense of community, affordable living, housing. Literary the geographical center of Europe -in 5 hours by car you reach quite some destinations, by plane, all of Europe is just 2 hours away. Multiple possibilities of Skiing in the winter, swimming in the summer. Excellent utilities provided (no electricity shortfall, you can drink the tap water, very good internet connections etc.). Oh, and no danger of PC offending anybody.
Logically thinking, I am not sure why anybody would move out of Slovenia apart from career choices...
About ''I love you'' in Slovene, it's really strong word and we use it for special occasions. Also in one slovenian movie there is a scene where guy complains about awkwardness of the word ljubim te and that's easier to say English version (as it would have less impact) (:
Completely agree with you regarding ''I love you'' and regarding starting a new business. We are traditional people and we don't say it in public to the partner because this have a strong meaning and it is meant to be used only to a partner - that does not have to be a word used in a friends circles or in general it is reserved for a person/partner who deserves it. While, I have been working together with American people for the last 7 years and I will say something - everything is awesome, everyone likes or loves something, everything is nice, just a little little thing is nice what it is trivial for us that it's ok and it's not big deal - so in general Americans are making an elephant from the mouse :) don't get me wrong, it's ok, it's the way how culture is built. But is it truly meant what you are saying? I would say so, most of that sentences are used for encourage person or to make the conversation flow but in general nobody really care - it's just being polite in a some way, that all. So the difference in I love you between being polite or truly mean that is huge :)
Now regarding business: Slovenia is a very small country and very small market. So, you basically don't have an unlimited options selling something to someone which will impact a lot to you income. I know a friends from America selling something that will never sell here, because there is no people to sell it to. The second mayor thing is government outcomes and taxes and social system. If you want to earn for living you need to sell for let say 2000€ per month - 1000€ from that income is ''reserved'' for taxes and other incomes related to government. So, when you are employed, the company takes care of it, but when you are on your own, it's much more difficult. I strongly believe that this is a wrong way to go from Slovenia because in general the population is educated above average and anyone in Slovenia knows something to maybe make a business from it, but it does not happening because of the system - I am saying that because many Slovenian people are very desirable in foreign countries as a workers - highly educated persons with strong working habits, but they needed to leave a country for a better tomorrow.
And yes, when you do the math, you will see that in many cases you wont earn more than if you wait for a social paycheck and doing nothing. That's WRONG here!
Thank you for your videos. I recently started dating a Slovenian and I’ve been trying to learn more about his culture.
I feel completely identified with u, my boyfriend is from Slovenia and I'm Mexican, we have been together for 3 year and next year we are getting marriage. Really different cultures but I can't wait for it.
The comment about physical affection is spot on, and as a Slovene, I can say it's probably the cultural etiquette or "bonton" in Slovene, that defines how we act in public, especially towards the people we care about deeply.
Showing affection, to friends and being happy and "in a good mood" is something you can show and enjoy in public. While expressing serious affection is done in private, with family and partners, the people you most trust and care for., making it much more intimate, it might seem cold on the outside, but it has a much deeper meaning than just I love you, it also means I trust you, believe in you and support you. Well at least as I see and analyze my own behaviour, and from a few conversations with friends.
Otherwise, I enjoy your posts, it's interesting to see how people from other cultural backgrounds see us, sort of a mirror to our behaviour. Thx
Slovenian men show there love with deeds. No need to tell, just do the right thing.
I can't believe it !
My partner and I always had conversations about the" I love you:" word as well and showing verbal affection part . But now I can realize that this is a Slovenian thing! 😅
But also we tend to realize that over using that word makes it loose its meaning . So maybe he doesn't say it but his actions proves it so much. And that's what I like about my Slovenian man😊
And also the good thing is the never fight part, just small arguments . ( life's too short to fight in a foreign language )
Hehe you were so on point in everything Mariah !
Tudi meni je fascinantno kako američani pogosto uporabljate "I love u" ...tako pogosto da že skoraj zgubi pomen. 😊
@samosekaj It's not lying - nor pretending - it's a cultural thing with the English that is so engrained that they don't really know what they mean any more. With the English you really need to have telepathy to understand what is meant. Can I please recommend a book called Watching the English by Kate Fox who is an English social anthropologist who said: "Why do my colleagues go all the way to the Amazon jungle to study strange tribes who live there when the strangest tribe of all is living here on our doorstep." Her view is that emotionally the English suffer from sub-clinical autism - there are many pros and cons to that - but once you get that idea on board, relationships with the English become much easier. The Scots on the other hand are much closer in character to the Slovenes.
Se strinjam
Uau, kudos for this in-depth gem! I absolutely loved your observation abour difficulties in communication that arise out of cultural and linguisic reasons. And the one on use of "love". Spot on!
Very spot on. The "I love you" thing is so real. The younger generation tends to use it more (at least at the start of their relationship), but saying "ljubim te" to someone just feels so... I don't know, strange or awkward for us. xD
I also think the fact that you don't really see couples being affectionate stems from Slovenians just being more private people in general, so they don't want to kiss/hold hands/etc. in public/in front of other people (because they believe that stuff is only the business of the two people involved). But again, I think the younger generation is breaking out of that mindset.
Hello Mariah, I've been enjoying your videos. Thankyou for doing them.
I am half Scottish and half English - but for the past 15 years the village where I live in the English Lake District near the Scottish border has been twinned with a small town in Slovene - Zreče, blizu Celje.
I lead community choirs, and singing holidays - we come to Slovenia two or three times a year and sing the narodni pesmi - Slovenian folk songs - and I love that thing where we can be singing on the way up a mountain like Triglav and we meet complete strangers who will know the alto parts of our song and join us in the singing. (There's an Irish song we sing where translated the chorus into Slovene and sing it both languages: "Naj v srcu ni strahu,
tujcev ni tu, le prijatelji, ki jih še ne poznaš" and that often says something about meeting Slovenes who I don't know, there is an instant sense of friendship - in a male kind of way - bonding through doing something together. )
I have also been in an international relationship with a German lass for about 15 years, and our daughter is half German and half English (she has ambitions to rule the world, but is just too polite to do it.) And like you am interested in the differences.
One of them is the way the English need at least 30 minutes to say goodbye - in fact, in England we have an expression "Saying our goodbyes" - plural. While my father in law was always very good at saying his goodbye very honestly, in about 3 minutes - something like: "Well, I know you don't believe in God, but may Good be with you and keep you safe. Goodbye." And he would shake my hand. And that was it. And I was left thinking "What did I do wrong? Why is he angry with me?" There's an old saying which has some truth in it - the English are too polite to be honest, and the Germans are too honest to be polite.
What interests me, is that although the English and the Americans share a common language we are so far apart in our cultures that I have known Americans coming to the UK who have been left saying, "We speak a common language, but I don't understand what you're saying at all."
I think because the English so rarely say what they mean - and very often are so embedded in their culture, that they don't even know what they mean.
And also the use of irony and humour is so embedded in the English culture that no one ever really knows if we are joking or really mean it - the Slovenes will use irony in the same way but will let you know with a big "..." to let you know - but the English just launch into this huge ironic spiel which can go on for a whole day - or even longer - especially if they know that the American doesn't know what's going on. It's not meant to be cruel - but often is.
I met a writer once who had a Japanese mother, and an English father and he was living in Scotland. He said it was all about how oblique people are with their use of language.
So - for instance - if a man walks into a house and he smells, the host in a Japanese home might say: "Ah, the cherry blossom falls in spring." From which you might assume there is some rain. Some water. And might assume that some washing could be needed.
The smelly man walks into an English man's house and the host might say, "Ah, I say old chap, there's plenty of water in the emersion heater." Again, an implied meaning, though a bit less oblique. Hot water. Bathroom. Washing.
But when the man walks into a Scottish house the host says: "Ya stink!"
I think Americans are closer to the Scots, and the Slovenes are somewhere between the English and the Germans.
Here's the thing - even though we speak the same language, I think the English are closer in culture to the Germans and the Slovenes than we are to the Americans - you have invented something quite new, it's very refreshing for us from the old world to witness it - you have a sort of hopeful confidence that you can make of your lives whatever you want, which for us Brits takes a bit longer, and for Slovenes is almost impossible.
I have choirs who visit us here in the Lake District where I live near the Scottish border.
Sometimes they come with their teenage choir, who have to be taught about local customs - one of which is that the English tend to wait until they are offered something, while the American teenager will (apparently, according to their choir leader) walk into a house where they are staying and help themselves from the fridge. And the other way round - I took some English people to meet an American friend for a meal, she had some wine on the table, and after a while said: "Hey, guys aren't you thirsty? Do you not drink? " So I told her - "you'll have to offer it to them, they won't just help themselves." My American friend didn't believe me - but the others confirmed this was true.
What I find very interesting in Slovenia is that Slovenia never had an empire - quite rare in Europe with the French, Spanish, Portugese, Belgium, Dutch, German, English, Roman, Greek, etc. etc. all having had one, and all having inherited an enormous confidence from that - even if we hate the whole idea of empire, we inherit that confidence form our ancestors.
While in Slovenia they need to have won the Olympics to feel confident - and even then, it's something very calm - not boastful - just, "OK, I did it. Now what?" I love that - it's so refreshing - like meeting humanity in the raw.
There's another thing I notice - Slovenes are incredibly hospitable, very kind to visitors, amazingly so - but often aren't very nice to each other. Maybe they are like some family where everyone fights, sort of familiarity breeding contempt or something. But it's strange to see after all the warm welcome we receive. I remember a priest after a concert telling the Slovenes "You should be as kind to each other as you are to the visitors."
I think as well there are huge differences between those who live in the countryside and those who live in the city. And also between the young and the old. And between men and women. Sometimes when I am in Slovenia with people my own age who live in the same sort of place, I think "We have so much in common - the differences between our countries is much less than what we have in common." And then I visit somewhere like London or Paris or Ljubljana and think, these city folk are just different.
One thing that does interest me is feminism in Slovenia.
We have had over 50 years of women fighting for equality here in the UK, and the men have sort of got the hang of what they can and can't do when they are with women. But in Slovenia it often seems like men say and do things which shock us "reconstructed men." Maybe it's only older men - maybe younger men are very different, less macho. But the women in Slovenia aren't weaklings, don't appear to be downtrodden - in fact, they often seem much tougher than English women - maybe because they speak their mind more, while the English woman has to be at the end of her tether before she'll roast a man on the spit of justified feminist outrage. I'd be interested in your views on this.
Here's an example. I took my choir to visit a school in Ljubljana. We were driving three minibuses and it was a bit tricky getting into the parking space, so my Slovenian friend asked one of the women driving if he could drive it into space - whereupon the woman driver launched into this whole attack about how she as perfectly capable of driving as any man and didn't need to be patronised. I could see it coming.
I look forward to seeing more of your videos Mariah. Good luck with it all - lep pozdrav iz Sedbergha, David
Eh David.Glede tvoje izjave ,da Slovenci nismo nikoli imeli svojega imperija ,bi te spomnil ,da smo mi SLOVANSKA država.Vzemi zemljevid in poglej si kakšen del zemeljske oble smo zasedli mi Slovani.Poglej si tudi kako smo se mi Slovenci ,Čehi in Poljaki zarinili globoko v bok vašim "imperijem" ali pa mogoče tudi ti misliš , ko smo leta 700 prišli sem ,da smo prišli v prazen prostor.Še boljše vprašanje je kako ,da kljub vsem tem vašim imperijem ,nas niste uspeli asimilirat ali pregnat iz tega ozemlja.Res pa je ,da sedaj nimamo nekih imperijskih teženj vendar bo tako ostalo samo dokler nas boste pustili na miru ;)
@@slovili Najlepša hvala za odgovor Slovili - v tem, kar govoriš, je veliko razmisleka.
Leta 700, čeprav so bili Grki in Rimljani v lasti nekaj zelo velikih imperijev, številni drugi kraji v Evropi skoraj niso postali država - Britanci, Nemci, Francozi so bili še vedno večinoma zbirke vojskujočih se plemen. Zelo zanimivo je razmišljati o slovanskem imperiju, ki se potiska v Evropo in postane Slovenija.
Zelo me zanima keltski vpliv v Sloveniji - verjamem, da medtem ko je večina Keltov odšla naprej na Škotsko, Wales in Irsko, so nekateri ostali v današnji Sloveniji. Ali je to res, mislite?
Slišal sem zgodbo:
Sveti Peter je sedel z Bogom na oblaku, potem ko je ustvaril svet. Sveti Peter je bil zelo navdušen, vendar je opazil nekaj pomembnih razlik.
Rekel je: "Kaj sta ti dve državi z vsemi tistimi čudovitimi gorami in jezeri in slapovi ter čudovitim morjem in ljudmi, ki skupaj pojejo?"
Bog je odgovoril: "No, ta je Slovenija, druga pa Škotska." Sveti Peter je bil navdušen: "Zelo so lepi - vendar mislim, da ste jim dali preveč."
Bog se je nasmehnil in odgovoril: "Ah, samo počakaj, dokler ne vidiš sosedov, ki sem jim jih dal."
When you were talking about the intimate/personal "i love you", that's so true. I can recall every time I said it to someone. Regarding showing physical affection to their significant other, its just not as common to display such things in public, as it is seen as childish, especially in the 20-40 age group.
Very good description of Slovenes and i can relate to your story a lot. I am Slovene my wife is Chinese. Speak of different background and culture, lol.... She came in Yugoslavia few years before it break apart. She speak Slovenian and i dont know a damn thing about chinese language. She is teaching me chinese like Luka is teaching you Slovenian, hehe. Anyway we are together about 14 years, have 2 beautifull little girls and life is beautifull (mostly) :)
That must be difficult!
Not really. But i guess i am not typical Slovenian like luka, hehe
Yeah, sometimes it is... she speaks slovenian quite good, but its easier if both have same mother language... (do you say mother language or ?)
I would tend to agree. And I actually like how much couples talk here.
I hear you. They are not by nature overtly affectionate. Mine was born in Australia as an English speaker so we don't have the language difficulties and grew up with mostly Aussies so no cultural issues either. However, I do understand and his dad is Slovene born, mum is Croatian technically - they have been here ages but still miss their countries :) I fortunately am able to fit in with them. I did notice travelling in Slovenia that I was somewhat of an oddity as an Aussie female - more "out there" and blunt, not afraid to express myself and my opinions. Sometimes males mistook my behaviour as flirting though! Oops!
Im a 14 year old British and im dating a slovenian guy and I don't know if we'll stay long enough to live together till death but I actually 50% relate
The physical/verbal affection - idk about that, we ALWAYS hold hands and occasionally kiss (peck) and hug in public. At home we kiss, hug and cuddle A LOT. He tells me he loves me every day "I love you" and "Ljubim te" when it's really special and it's weird to hear it, it's so intense. I never tell my friends I love them, just realizing we don't have a word for that. "Všeč mi je/si mi" is more for stuff you like or the person you find attractive.
Business - depends on family background. My family was very business oriented and now I am too, but most families aren't so most don't grow up with this. My boyfriend was also from a more worker family and it took years to make him think a bit differently and motivate him.
Well quite close. Slovenia is small beautiful country with small population, therefor everybody got their unique mind. But its good yes that you like it, on the otherhand i dont want to go back beacuse like you said no bussines. Im also looking for international relationship. 😉 peace.
Good observation! My parents were married for 60 years, i never saw them embrace, kissing or holding hands.
So true about public affection and i love you thing... I would never say rada te imam to my family, cuz it sounds a little weird besides we have never used it in our family. But being in international relationship i think that its much more romantic to say "te amo" and not "ljubim te"...this one feels a little weird to me :)
Keep sharing. Just trying to learn before I visit :)
50%+ Slovenian marriages are similar to Victiorian English era. Wery hard to express feeling, wery reserved.
Loved this vlog! ;) You really nailed it ... I was giggling the whole time and thinking: "It's all true!!"
Odličan video, odličan opis jezične barijere..........
Well, my Slovene bf is not so good with communicating, but enough for me))
And thanks for the "I love you" explanation❤
Hvala iz Rusije 😍
Haha, prosim 😉
podjetnik je pri nas še vedno razumljen kot razredni sovražnik, pri čemer ti kot zunanja opazovalka to vidiš in tudi veš, zakaj, mi pa večinoma ne. hvala za še en dober vlog :)
Yes, I totally understand it. My wife is from Massachusetts and I’m from Austria. There is a lot of cultural differences to overcome.
It is great to see both worlds, but sometimes not satisfying if the other can’t read between the lines. Also little towns in Austria are very closed and conservative to a point that they won’t let you in. Cities are much more cosmopolitan. So here we are between two worlds.
American culture is really much more macho with regards to the expectations they have of either sex than most Americans would care to admit... There seems to be a greater divide between the men and the women and part of that is the lack of communication. I mean, they have this stereotype idea of the Slavic cave man, etc. but it's actually more the other way around... More emotional isolation and less depth with Brits, Americans and other Anglo-Saxon-based cultures. At least in my experience... Just one big tip: Hints. Anglo-Saxon males get hints (sort-of), but Slovenians are much more straight-forward and you need to communicate things to them accordingly. Hinting is seen as beating about the bush here and even maybe as expressing yourself in a sly or half-hearted manner. (I was actually berated and called a hypocrite by a woman once when I was only trying to drop polite hints in a way that would have been considered perfectly normal in Australia, but I have since learned to be more "direct" sometimes - in a way that would be considered verging on crass Down Under :D ). It's just a cultural thing, I think. Oh, and the older generation is not that open to travelling, but the younger one definitely is.
Thanks for making this video. As a Slovenian American born in the US. I understand myself better from your experience on things i struggle with here. One thing is dating. I expect a good conversation before i ask a girl out. Here they just say " good how are you" and reply "nothing" when i ask what's new. I interpreted this as not interested to this day. So, no one here is interested in me lol that is prob not the case. :)
It is very easy to open a company in Slovenia, you can even do it online and it is free of charge. But having your own company means more energy and Slovenians like their comfort living from 8 - 16, regular salary every 15th and 25 paid vacation days + 11-13 days paid national holidays. While having your own company makes you work harder. Socialism is still very present in people's hearts and the national system too.
Communication challenges are always present between a man and a woman. Even between same gender people. I was always in an international relationships and I figured out that the challenges had much to do with our general knowledge and understanding of things and how we perceive them based on our life experiences. Cultural and sociological differences just add up to all of it. P.S. another Slovenian thing: we tend to write long sentences that can get as long as a paragraph :D
"Ljubim te" is a very strong and old fashioned phrase but there are so many other phrases that both man and women would be more comfortable saying and receiving it.
Great channel! I binge watched it and you are great to have moved here!
Tanja Vesel I agree with you, in Slovenia is super easy to open your company.
I think slovenian couples hold back in public because we dont want to make other people uncomfortable.
Excellent read - Gary Chapman - The Five Love Languages
Very interesting. I agree here Americans say I love you WAY to much. But I noticed it when my daughters were growing up .. b4 that not as much ... I think it loses sometime when it’s said to everyone .. special close friends yes I can see I have a friend we have been friends over 30 years and we say it to each other ..can’t wait for tomorrow’s “ Slovene moment”
❤️Thank you for the information
I'm in international relationships with Canadian. We never fight too. Probably because of language differences as you said. But that's challenge in life
I’m chinese, married slovene too. The first year we fought a lot for many meaningless small things like what cups to use for water, what for tea, etc. this is the biggest challenge to marry a foreigner. Cuz all cultural shocks are enlarged. But when we live longer, we don’t fight at all. And his merits are enlarged .
My dear, you are lucky girl, don’t let him go. Even when he is not saying I love you every five minutes.
I can tell you he love you very much, how ever
Love is very frightened bird.
Keep him tided
When I told my wife , I love you every morning , she use to answer , OK OK , I am gonna shut up whole day.
You newer know women....
Slovenian married to an Australian here. The misscomunication happens all the time exactly as you described :) it is hard to explain but I absolutely understand. I need to show this to my husband, he will feel for the language part as well.
It’s not easy!
Psychology says that one of the most difficult things to communicate in a second language is feelings. Foreign people can learn English but they will always fell more comfortable communicating feelings in their own language. I've known hundreds of mixed cultures marriages and both people always need to have someone to communicate in their own primary language. The women call their moms and the men call a friend or brother. Good communication is very important for a good relationship. I imagine Mariah has some American friends with who she shares some things that because of language and cultural differences sometimes it is harder to communicate with the husband.
That makes a lot of sense.
Love your videos, especially liked your little Kansas joke :)
I´m Dominican living in Slovenia. My girl is Slovenian and we have been together for already 8 years and we have gone through every single thing you just said. It is certainly a matter of culture, language, etc. and yes, they have words to say TE QUIERO and TE AMO which in English is written same way but pronunciation and situation makes the difference. By the way, we still get in some conversations miss understandings hahaha.
Bro, Yo soy Dominicano. Me gustaría conseguir una jeva de allá. How did you do it?
My first wife died from eating poisonous mushrooms... My second and third wife also. My fourth wife died from cracked skull and broken back. She refused to eat poisonous mushrooms...
Quite accurate what you're saying. I've talked to many people and the word "ljubim te" sounds akward even to us. So we use "rad te imam" on a frequent basis. It should be a word for describing affection to a friend for example, but men usually don't use that either (except if we're really drunk).
Regarding business you are so right. We have a socialist heritage and even if we have a so called "free economy" we never really completely let go of socialism, so being successfull as an entrepeneur is really hard. Especially unlogical to an American is our tax system which is quite the nightmare.
You pay your tax upfront even though you haven't made any money that month for example.I described this to a Texan once and he was just shakin' his head in disbelief:))))
I totally understand what you mean when it comes to the differences with the two cultures. You will never see open displays of affection between people, be that physical or verbal. Expressing love, joy or anger, are not typical Slovenian traits, which can be very frustrating when you sometimes want a passionate response to something...guess what? you're not gonna get it! As for Rad ti imam...once it''s said, that's it, you'll rarely ever hear it again. It's assumed that it shouldn't be necessary to repeat, and if you challenge this, they'll probably say, "of course I do, I'm here with you, that should be proof enough". Spend ages preparing a meal and you'll rarely get a compliment, if they eat it all then they don't feel it needs mentioning....It's as if you are expected to read between the lines of things, they don't understand, that now and again we need to hear that we're appreciated, loved etc...a small word of kindness here and there...otherwise you get the feeling you're being taken for granted.! I've learnt not to bang my head against a brick wall with the differences...that's not to say that I accept them all, to do that would be to deny my own upbringing and cultural background...I just don't let these things bother me...or you'll go insane with frustration. Put it this way...call it stubborness, arrogance or rigidity, but (generally) a Slovenian man is not open to being flexible or changing themselves for anyone. Ask them the meaning of compromise in a relationship....it's foreign words to them.
Sometimes it feels like running into a very "traditional" mindset. I mean that in the sense of 100 years ago as farmers, men had roles, women had roles, the main focus was survival. I can feel like that's still in the culture at times.
This was very helpful. I have laughed the whole time reading this.
Slovenia it's so peaceful place and when you find that place, you dont wanna go out of this beautiful peaceful place.. Slovenia its much more big that you think..
Ljubim te je zelo mocna beseda, rajse recemo rad te imam. Love you je zelo izrabljena beseda.
Hello! You are very pretty, I love you :) You said that there is a language barrier in your relationship, that if someone is saying "A", and the other one interprets it like "B". I must say that both, my wife and me are native Slovene speakers, and this also happens to us all the time. Sometimes I have a feeling I am speaking Swahili, and not Slovene. So, perhaps you might consider whether this is a gender issue, and not the language issue ;)
Hahaha!
Yup you are not married to a typical slovenian and your eyes Mariah are very beautiful. Nice to listen to you and so true what you say here .
Thank you!
I am marrying a Russian man who was born in Ukraine and spent years in America and Slovenia. I will say, Russian is extremely hard, but hearing about more Eastern Europe culture, the more I wonder if it's a thing that passes through there. Our relationship though is weird. The physical affection for us is more him checking on me because of my illnesses and disabilities, so I always wonder if it's perhaps actual affection.
My family comes from Montenegro but I was born and raised in Slovenia
East Europe is very interesting
The Turks brought their food and Islam to Balkan.
The Soviets had an big impact on East Europe.
I wish you the best of luck in your marriage.
I love your make up! :)
Sedaj bo LUKA naredil posnetek: POROČEN Z AMERIČANKO!
Ja
Ja,ja,ja!
It is a bit odd that English uses love in such a wide meaning. We use two phrases "rad te imam" and "ljubim te" as I love you, and "ljubim te" is more than just "rad te imam"
I'm Slovene and I can assure you that Luka is not a typical Slovene guy, that's probably why you too get along so well :D Your observations are right, specially the one that Slovene are very attached to Slovenia and their families. I hate it, haha. My previous relationship with a Slovene ended pretty much because of that. I doubt I will ever marry a Slovene man since the majority has a very strong emotional attachment to their parents/friends/village etc and I find it frustrating and unattractive. :D
I'm not with a Slovene and it's still the same case xD
You do know that Americans are way more attached and "proud" to their country? They travel lesser as well. But for the family, of course you will be attached I mean it is important to everyone in every country.
I think it's a more European thing. Men seem especially attached to their mothers. In America we find it as a source of pride and accomplishment to move out at 18 and be independent from your parents. Here, many people only move when they marry OR just live in the same house on another floor with their new spouse! I think this is where the differences are that I was talking about.
That’s exactly what I wanted to say, Mariah! You are a good observer of Slovene culture 😉 Typical Slovene is not proud of his/her country but would at the same time NEVER leave it since his/her attachment to parents/home village is way too strong.
Americans in general probably travel less to other countries but that’s because USA is so so so big compared to Slovenia! It’s the whole continent! In Slovenia you drive one or maybe two hours with a car and you’re already in another country 😉
And yes, men in general are definitely attached to their mothers in SLO (also women). When typical Slovene finishes college he finds a job, gets married and lives in the same house with his/her new wife/husband because it’s cheaper and mother’s cooking is so delicious, haha.
Now tell me, did I describe a typical American? :‘D
Ofc NOT every Slovene is like that, but a lot of them are. This is a typical Slovene lifestyle and village life is still very important to many Slovenes.
I’m Slovene myself and this typical Slovene lifestyle doesn’t suit me at all.
thingxofxthings It is very rare to find a person who is married to live with parents. Maybe in older generation the practice was pretty common but mostly in today age if you are married and have finance to go somewhere, you will not leave with your parents, except you are super cheap, which it has to do with what kind of person you are. :)
Growing up Australian with Slovene parents one of the hardest things (there were many) was never hearing I love you, getting hugs or any praise like my friends did. 😔
If both of your parents are Slovenian, you are not Australian.
Langus langus If you are saying I am not Aboriginal or that my ancestry is Slovenian you are right but I was born here so am a 2nd generation Australian.
Margaret Izanc Doesnt count where you were born. Nationalety is a matter of blod.
Langus langus Actually nationality is where a person is a citizen, or the country where they were born.
Margaret Izanc LOL no. Cytizenship and nationalety are two seperate voncepts.
I'm marrying a Slovene and live in medvode. The observation about a Slovene partner talking in great detail about most things seems to be completely accurate. Or coincidental in our cases lol. And I noticed most American couples enjoy more space and me time. In a Slovene relationship that doesn't exist.
OMG! The no me time is so accurate. That is funny.
Yes, it's true, in America is "love you" overused, but in Slovenia nobody uses this term😆...
AlinaLana Medved razn ko smo pijani
@@jansenekovic3651 Hahahah...
I'd like to hear your thoughts on Slovenian people in general. How do you see us? What do you think of us? Not just men.
Bi ti rada da smo vse ljubosumne?😁😁 Drugače pa jaz sem tudi v " narodno mešanem" zakonu: stajerka+gorenc😂😂😂😂 super vlog! In krasne mejkap.
Katja Tusek isto tu Stajerc+Gorenjka
Potem veš o čem govorim😀
Dober opis, Slovencev v razmerju, pasti v razmerju med dvema iz različnih kultur, pa ni nujo, da sta iz različnih držav. Bolj mislim, da gre za vzgojo, za odnos od malih naprej z okolico.
Im from Slovenia. Did you go to Ptuj yet (thats where I am :p). You can see one of the oldest city and castle in Slovenia.
I watched your 10 thing I love about Sloven People. You were right about the weddings :L
I was there for Pust, but I would love to visit around without the crowds.
I think we live in two different Slovenias :)... for me, and most of foreigners I know here, consider that Slovenian don't speak about deep thoughts or feelings, they can speak about their private life or thoughts with very few people, usually one or 2 friends. Your experience and mine is completely the opposite. 😂😂
I'm an American/Slovene and live in Kansas !
Totally relate!!
I would love to know what camera you are using. The quality is great! Darren
If he went to UP to get wife he is really not typical Slovene. Most people even mary within same village.
This is great. As a native Floridian whose family is from Georgia, Alabama and North Carolina, I will comment that Californians (at least the white ones) are some of the most "closed mouthed" people I EVER encountered. I moved here in 1983 and after a lot of research, this is what I concluded. Florida welcomes 5 times it's population as visitors every year, and most of us have lived around New Yorkers, Cubans, and eastern Mid-Westerners (Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, etc) all our lives, so we know the rich variety of human expression.
Most of the white people in CA (in the mid 20th century) came from the "Nordic Mid-West. Places like Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, the Dakotas, etc. Those states were all infilled with Norwegians, Sweeds and Germans. They are NOT talkative, particularly the men. In the South, most white people came from the Scotch-Irish and Irish background. Oscar Wilde said it best, "The Irish live to talk." Add to that the rich linguistics of West Africans, and you get some amazing conversation and language usage. Slavic people (my father's side) are also VERY loquacious. Story telling is a high art form. If you had grown up in The South, you would find Slovenes "right out of your back yard" in terms of humor, language use, and the love of expression. Glad you're adjusting.
If you say "I love you" to much then it doesn't mean a thing
Tell Luka about colour "ORANŽNA". love ur videos bdw❤
wohohoa slow down sweetie in the younger generations everyone would like to leave at least for a year or two
That's the problem in Europe. People aren't patriotic anymore. They're not proud of the soil they've been birthed upon. They'd rather leave their homeland, instead of working on improving it, helping it.
LukaV Maybe they are in that positions when they see other, better job etc in other countries.
Here is not all sunshine and rainbow especially on the job department. So do not be rude about it, because at in the end of the day people do what think is the best for them.
Tidi D that's the problem. This individualistic mindset. They do what's best for THEM, instead of what's best for their nation, for their people. People are way too selfish nowadays.
LukaV Why would you do something that does not make you happy? Will nation bring you happiness? Food to the table? Love?
No? Then of course you will do what is the best for you, because you are living your life, you have to live it, not everybody else.
The sheep mindset is destructive and I do not agree with it. Slovenian in general have it way too much and should have that what I think mindset not what a neighboor said, heard whatever.
Tidi D yes, the nation should bring you happiness. If you work for your nation, the nation gives back. If we have a shit government, well, fucking destroy it, and make it better, instead of abandoning it, like a little pussy who has no pride in their land.
Yea we dont like to be chessy 🤷😅 also the word ljubim is just weird and old 😅
My dear Mariah, orange is orange and red is red. And if you and your Luka want to make an argument out out of it, go ahead. You are both nuts. And do not overuse the name CULTURE. I think we are dealing with attitude. If your Luka cannot express himself to you, how come you got married? I was borne in Slovenia and grew up speaking Slovenian and Italian. Moved to Canada, where I learned Ukrainian, English and French. My job took me across the North American Continent. In South America I learned Spanish. In Bosnia I became fluent in Serbo Croatian. My Russian is pretty good. I was on the Volga Cruise. Saw Japan, Korea, Vladivostok and Beijing. In the city where I leave now, it is said that it has ten and ten thousands of young, beautiful Chinese and very rich women. (And I know many of them).
My point: The places I've noted - are the places where I found the people to be all the same - that means the same CULTURE. The difference is that in some places of the world, some people are more skilled to deceive, cheat and lie. Good luck. It will not take long to find out what you are promoting.
Super
12:26 namig našim vrlim politikom/birokratom 😀
hey im allegria im from congo but i live in slovenia ljubljana
Meh. I have a male friend from Slovenia and he HATES talking about his feelings. That’s probably more of a personality thing vs a cultural thing.
Mislim, da nič od tega, lahko rata komplicirano, razen če so interesi usklajeni
What are you talking about 8:50 to 9:30? Doesn't make any sense? Slovenian men hugging, showing affection and being close to each other and that is very normal here? No, it's not. Where did you see that? You've must of met some gays or feminine men or maybe some balkan immigrant guys (Serbia, Bosnia, Kosovo... they are more emotional), but definetly not Slovenians. You couldn't be more wrong, that's really not a typical Slovenian thing, I can assure you that, that's what Indian (country) men do. If anything Slovenian charachter is more cold, no emotions, like Austrians.
Yes, they do it in Phillipines, India, Turkey, even Serbia (orthodox), Kosovo (muslims)... but Slovenian men? No way, Jose. Probably you've seen guys with background from other ex Yugoslavia republics, a huge diaspora live in Ljubljana, they just have other traditions and habits than Slovenians do. Fact. There is no other logical explanation.
It's like comparing Irish, Chinese, Pakistani or Italian communities born in USA. Yes, they are all Americans standing for national anthems, being influenced by Hollywood and American popculture....but they were just raised in different cultures, religion, food, family traditions etc. So, my point is, traditional original Slovenes (catholics) have very different habits and traditions than orthodox or muslims from other parts of Yugoslavia, who were born or moved to Slovenia.
Probably she meant female population in general. And for me hugging is a big deal, In all families i had interact with, they are very hugging people. In also in my family it is a big deal. :)
Yeah, but you are probably not Slovenian, as I'm proving my point.
vivaldi mausfalle My name is Tjasa Dolenec, I think I am slovenian as I can be 😂😂 But nice try tho. 😂😂
Gosh I so wish I would meet a Woman like you, that can think for herself...Where are you women?!
It is extremly dull to listen to this lady. She couldn't maybe widen the argument? I understand that she has personal experiences. But it is difficult to share them with other people.
Now I know who you look like: Emily Bett Rickards
Im american and Slovene soo...
True, sploh za delo
10 July is mi birthday
And I from Slovenia
Mine too. I'm Brazilian American
Ha! This is my life! My husband is first generation Japanese-American. His parents are both native Japanese (living in Japan now) and it's been soooooooooooooo interesting how communication, affection, and general thought processes affect our relationship and how we are raising or son. We're still trying to work out the kinks especially when it comes to idioms and random phrases that he's never heard before that have been a part of my lexicon since I started talking. I feel ya, sister!
It's a challenge! I am always thinking about how this affects the kids!
slovenian language is ez, i was born in Slovenia tho
If an average Slovenian meet a good friend from the past (guy or girl) after 5-10 years or even relative, the only thing he does is shake her/his hand and asks how are you or what's up. And that's it. No hugging, no kissing, no I love you, no I missed you....
vivaldi mausfalle LOL! For you is normal to show this kind of affections to every person you know? This ''southern'' mentality is fake as fuck. What kind of good friend/relative is that if you see them every 5-10 years?
And second. Slovenian show this kind of affections when
a: drunk (in vino veritas) :D
b: to a best friend
In other words. When Slovenian show this kind of warmth, you know is real.
I don't understand your first part of reply? Do you agree or oppose me? What kind of affection if it's normal for me?
I only agree with drunk part (not always). But come on man, are you serius? An average slovenian guy hug his male friend on a daily basis or after months/years you don't see them you ran to them and tell you love them? Who are you kidding. Maybe italians, french, germans, south balkan show this affection. But slovenians? Hahaha, where do you live, man. Maybe birthdays and new year eves, otherwise no, no & no.
Yes beautiful girl
glede dobesednega prevajanja - mi doma iz fore rečemo prikmurski gibanici over Mura moving cake
Let’s ask Donald Trump that question, I’m sure he’d give us an answer. XD
Difficult to marry a person from another culture.
Mariah like slovenian girl , whe are you girl like Vide pleše.Thank you.