The Dangerous Side to Internet Aesthetics
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
- I was shocked to find that internet aesthetics are controlling people's lives to the extent in which they no longer know who they are and actively have to detatch themselves from the aesthetic to repair their sense of self. It sounds similar to the type of identity crisis people experience when they leave a cult. Using the book 'Cultish', I look at aesthetic subcultures trhough a 'cult' lense in order to determine how and why this is happening.
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i'm sort of an aesthetic chaser and i like to design new "aesthetics," but i don't have a social media profile about this and i just keep them in a folder on my computer where no one ever sees them 💀 i had no idea people were like basing their ENTIRE lives, personalities, media tastes, appearances, etc. around these things to the detriment of their mental health and senses of self
That is a really cool hobby wow! It would be fascinating to see all the cool vibes you've come up with! So creative.
I was surprised too, but it's great to see people being aware of it and sharing their experiences. I'm sure it helps others who are experiencing something similar. Thank you for your comment 😊
Im a 35 year old woman/mother, and I have went through a very confusing and complicated part of my life where Ive realized I am chasing trends even though they dont work for me in my new life/body. I have felt so lost without having some sort of style and identity. Ive been trying to figure out who i am and what i even really like. The first few minutes of this video hit home already. I don’t base my music or friendships on an aesthetic, but my clothing/hairstyle/etc is confusing as hell because I dont know what looks good on me so Ive tried to look up Pinterest outfits/styles, looking up different body types to find what would look good on me, and so on. What I’ve begun to realize is even after all this I have no clue what Im doing. Im going to take a huge step back, and just focus on what i have and what i like. Sometimes you can like what someone else is wearing/doing/has, but that doesn’t mean you have to have/do it yourself.
I honestly also relate to this! We go through so many transitions in life, often with little guidance, and for me, I find myself holding on to decisions and identities that a younger version of myself adopted, without realising that I don't have to stick to those narratives anymore. We can shed those identities, embrace who we're now evolving into and adopt new ways of being that feel good and make sense for us at this stage of life. Thank you so much for sharing, I wish you all the best ❤️
New mom, turn 35 next month here. Same, and especially since I spent most of my 20s living in Japan where daily fashion is different from the US and works for different bodies. I have no clue what to wear or how to style myself now, so I stopped trying since I came back to the US in 2020.
It's not a new thing. The same can be said for older music subcultures that basically have uniforms like punk, metal and goth (and their various subcategories). I remember in the 2000's being part of a subculture came with predefined things that were inherently cool or cringe, based on whatever you subscribed to.
Subcultures aren't new for sure. Thanks for commenting 🙂
Labels in general are such a harmful thing when it comes to identity, I remember back when I was still hung up on how I would describe and label myself to the point where I would be questioning my existence as I didn't fit into any specific group. When you're constantly surrounded by picture perfect people who follow a certain lifestyle or aesthetic it's easy to forget that labels don't matter and people are made up of so many different aspects of theirselves, not just one label.
So true
I definitely noticed that people who wants to maintain a certain aesthetic about themselves also tend to put other people in certain aesthetic boxes. I had met someone who couldn’t believe I could like metal music because I have “girly” hobbies such as painting, gardening etc. or that I could be so competitive and loud during games but also like meditating. Most of the people are three dimensional by nature and can’t easily be defined by an aesthetic or a vibe.
Very true
You know, I never gave much serious thought to aesthetics in general. I just wear random chlothes that i find cute, as probably the majority of the population. But when I was younger, I felt somewhat alternative, cause i partied a lot and hung out with neo-hippies, but also punk people, and ravers, and indie kids etc. I used to be a bit upset that i didn't know which group i belonged to.
A while ago I realised that I might be autistic, and my mix of alternative sides might have just been my masks, reflecting other cool people that I've met in my life. If that's the case, I'm glad I never went down that path of dedicating my life to becoming the punkest punk or the hippesr hippie, cause that woulda lead to a huuuuge identity crisis later on. Honestly, the need to belong and constantly change appearance already made me feel like a chameleon with no sense of self. Nowadays I can't even use social media, cause I find the variety of alternative lifestyle ideas too overwhelming and impossible to keep up with and I just do my thing.
I relate to this too. I think it's also somewhat normal as a teenager to try on lots of different styles as the part of our brain that is trying to know ourselves gets switched on. As you say, going down a rabbit hole with one though could be problematic territory. Thanks for sharing 😊
i’m a college student who went through a phase in high school where i wore skirts and tights every single day (even in the winter, i live in the midwest) and looked down on people who just wore jeans/leggings. while there’s nothing wrong with that, i was obsessed with looking different and spent about 3 hours putting my outfit together every single day. i also only ever thought about fashion and clothes, whenever i had money i’d spend it on clothes, and i cared more about my appearance than i did about school. at first it was in a 1950’s sort of way and later on i discovered the coquette aesthetic and instantly fell in love. but then i realized that even though i liked the look of it i didn’t feel comfortable in it and the clothes i did feel comfortable in were more tomboyish/outdoorsy. i don’t think about what i’m wearing after i put it on now and i’m not as afraid of being a ‘basic bitch’. and it’s great.
Thank you for sharing 😊 your comment echoes a lot of others' here in that most people seem to go through this experimental stage with clothing in highschool, and I think it's because the part of our brain that wants to understand ourselves gets switched on at the same time as the part that is concerned with how we are being perceived by others. Clothing becomes a useful medium for this. I'm definitely in the same boat as you- fine with being a basic bitch now 😅 it's such a relief.
@@CassandraEvergreen for me it became so obsessive and unhealthy.
I love putting energy into picking things that are aesthetically pleasing to the eye for me but I only pick things that I truly like and truly fit me
Me too ☺️
Wtf I didn't think that some people lived by those trends like it's a religion.
It's human nature to fit in, this is another way of practicing that instinct unfortunately
I loved your video. Perhaps aesthetics are also a way to frame "fomo", to make sure that you know what to do and what it should look like. Taking away the endless choices there otherwise are
This is a great perspective, I agree. Even for myself, looking up an outfit on Pinterest with the vibe I'm going for helps narrow down all my choices so I know exactly what to do/which items to reach for.
i've never liked how easily young people like myself can fall into aesthetics. we're all trying to come up with our sense of self while all these trends and people are fleeting. when i was a young teen, i wanted to embody the "suburban white kid" aesthetic. I've always had problems with my sense of identity, and being half-white not looking like it but being around *no one* like me didn't help the situation. The fact i could never embody that lifestyle ate at my mind 24/7. i think we're all just trying to fit in to some degree or another, and that's why we chase aesthetics
anyways, to give this comment a happy turn, i eventually escaped the aesthetic doom in quarantine. while many people fell into the doom because they were chronically online, no one saw me for months on end, so i didn't have to be something i'm not. i also started therapy during the big Q, and after my second appointment i was like "ohhh I just wanna be White" and I've felt freer ever since. I certainly don't mind the look of certain aesthetics and i'll happily indulge something if I think "woah this looks cool", but I'm glad I don't let it dictate my life. I'm not completely free from my identity struggles, but it's nice taking a breath of fresh air, knowing i'm just going about life, trying to be the best version of myself 💜
This was beautiful, thank you so much for sharing and I'm sorry our world is the way it is. I wish you all the best 💛
Trends on the internet and social media were brainwashing me and killing my originality and joy. In the name of self-improvement I chased the "that girl" aesthetic, taking up her clothes, skincare, diet, and hobbies, I wanted to be fitter and prettier not realizing that I was trading myself for "that girl” and she was someone I didn’t know. Sure, having improved hygiene and workout routines can be really beneficial but it was the researching of the habits within the aesthetic that began making all of my decisions for me. My common sense disappeared along with my originality because if the girls I wanted to be like were impossibly beautiful and thin, then doing exactly what they do must be better than following the instincts of my imperfect self. It wasn’t until I realized that I was trapping myself in a mindless routine that had not once brought me true joy that I seriously questioned my behavior. Then it occurred to me: for me and any other individual that follows aesthetics, we will never really find what we are looking for that way. I could never be"that girl", no one can because she thinks for herself, so if you’re her you would use your own mind to go about your own self-improvement that will fulfill YOU. Otherwise you’re just a cheap imitation for a successful person.
I am creating my own ‘melcore aesthetic’ for my transition and it gives me freedom to build myself however I see best
I'm excited for you! 💃
Man, that's kinda intense. when I was a teen in the 00's there wasn't anything more concrete than nerd/metalhead/fashionista/geek and like, at least among my friends people moved between them whenever they wanted. Unlike the tv stuff lol. I could definitely see on early tumblr this sort of limiting yourself with labels thing going on, like plenty of people love to find their identity, but too many people find something and then confine themselves with it. I only really saw this happening with early lolita, who were really aggro about it.
Totally, in hindsight I think we could have seen this coming with tumblr
I’d say the younger generation of boys/men do have aesthetic subcultures, gen z and gen alpha
As a woman I haven't seen them as much, but they definitely do exist. Maybe I could do a deep dive into male aesthetics subcultures next 🧐
i give up on aesthetics, i feel like people send weird messages through them, then when you like something because its pretty, an identity is attached to it. small and dumb example but i got mad at someone for saying "blablabla coquette girlies ruining lana del rey" and i got mad but i realised i dont even consider myself coquette or an aesthetic i just like some cute frilly stuff, i enjoy lana in my own peace, its dumb to assume these groups of teenagers are ruining an established artist, and idk this aesthetic stuff just groups people to a limited set of traits and things and limits ourselves, and gives other people an excuse to dehumanise others.
also im learning its ok not to be someone elses ideal or be this weird mix of what i like to call perfectly imperfect. why do i have to be pretty in a [conventionally attractive celebrity], [blablblacore], [a season], [movie from the 90s which randomly got popular today], [random music artist], [philosophy taken at surface level] way when i can just be my own it girl and be pretty in my way and everyone else can go away.
I love this- you can be pretty in your own way. Absolutely 💓 Thank you got sharing
when I listened about ryosangata i already knew what it was... and it is a life style
it's not simply about cute clothes but idol culture and capitalism as well
I'm not saying it is not cultist or whatever but there's more to it than Pinterest aesthetic and a Spotify playlist
it can take your life away bc fandom culture is extremely important for the subculture and entangle to it (see how most of them use ita bags full of their favorite 2d chara)
the "mass production" of it comes from how heterogeneous they want to look like and buying into the fast fashion side of livehood
Thank you for this insight!
I would like to address that certain subcultures from the past werent based on style, they were political movements or emotional expression. Punk was purely political and anti-capitalism, and goth stemmed from punk and included finding beauty in the dark things. Emo was normalizing negative feelings and showing that you dont always have to pretend things are okay, kawaii/harajuku fashions were created to go against japans very limiting styles and to embrace "childish" things and have fun. I think weve lost the original meanings behind past subcultures that started as movements.. Aesthetics are now being created every week or so, targeting younger people who lack their own identity or arent confident in tehir true selves. Thanks for sharing this.
I totally lost myself through aeshetics, literally I went to psychologist who told me I suffer from obsessive personality disorder, please note that I grew up in a family where my little brother suffered from cancer, thanks to the help of God he healed completely. But the trauma made me have OCD when I entered in my teenage years. Even though I'm a practising Christian, I really loved gothic and dark fashion and makeup styles, it just made me feel like I'm a fantasy novel character (which I am crazy about). But then I started using TikTok, aeshetics came in and I learnt that my sense of fashion is dated and I felt like it is the reason why I have trouble with my mental health I even gaslighted myself to believe wearing black or dark colours it's not suitable for my religion even though my own father who is a Lutheran pastor always told me I shouldn't judge and think like this. I started doing whatever I can to make myself look like a minimalist, korean minimalist queen, with minimal makeup, natural hair, beige clothes and beige room decor. Then clean girl was in, so I did pilates, I ate clean and I do think these were good changes but it also made me quit from doing things I enjoyed before. For example I liked watching docus on YT, playing otome games, watching animes and so on, but suddenly it became a nerdy thing to do because a clean girl is reading self-help books, listens to podcasts and so on. My OCD became worse than ever and I spent hours on my phone design my stupid insta feed for the few followers I had just because I felt like its not beige enough. I know it's sounds hilarious and I'm trying really hard to get out of this and find myself again but sometimes I still feel like what will others think about me if I dont join to this club anymore. It's CULT like and it's DANGEROUS and no one talks about it. I know I might be an extreme example since this things is totally something what can trigger OCD symptoms with every level since it's about mastering a fashion, life and habit style to perfection.
I'm so sorry you're struggling so much with OCD, that sounds really hard. Being exposed to these current notions of identity can take a toll on anyone let alone someone going through that young adult stage in their life. Just know that the right people will like you for who you are. People remember how you made them feel, not how you dressed. And everyone is too busy worrying about how they themselves look or are being perceived, to care about anyone else. You truly are allowed to be yourself. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you all the best 🙏❤️
the description is so true. im 15 and my gen from LITTLE KIDS Im talking 8 dont know who they are because of these internet aesthetics determining personality.
That's very sad 😔
I definitely went through an "aesthetic rehab" process, and what sucks the most is that I went in so deep that even my closest friends think certain things are my identity, when in reality it was what the subculture dictated me to like and do all that time. Receiving well-meant gifts which I now genuinely find tacky just because my loved ones are so used to me being in a subculture which is supposed to love this stuff. Having people ask me "wait, I thought you'll get along well with [name], they're so into your thing too" when in reality [name] has absolutely no common values with me whatsoever and just happens to dress a certain way. Facing allegations of "betrayal" by acquaintances who still belong to the subculture when I stopped tailoring my wardrobe and playlists to one narrow frame. The latter I see as a net positive though, helped me weed out the possessive people and find better social circles.
My post-aesthetic rule of thumb is now "if it looks good/feels good/puts me in a good mood, then it works, period." Never looked back. Humans are meant to actively live life, not to parade themselves through it like a passive mannequin
You said it so well! Thank you for sharing. It might be worthwhile saying to some of your close friends when something relevant comes up in conversation "I used to be really into that aesthetic but I have a kind of aversion to it now." Kinda like when you eat your favourite meal too much and now you can't stand the taste of it haha. It also might start a conversation around this topic of aesthetic identity crisis and people falling into what you coined the passive mannequin parade👌. Good luck 🙏
@CassandraEvergreen thank you so much for the encouragement to talk it out with my friends openly! This should work well, because thankfully we are at a good communication level. I've wanted to discuss it several times but lacked confidence to see it through, so your words might have been the needed gentle push. Glad if my input was of value to you, too.
I largely blame late stage capitalism for monetizing this aesthetic movement, turning people and personalities into commodities to be bought and sold. It teaches you groupthink, falling in with the crowd and having no mental individuality. The upper echelons of society want this to happen, they want people to splinter further and further to maintain the social, political and economic power that they hold. They know that a mind that goes against the gradient is a dangerous mind to the social order the 1% dominates, which is why there are so many groups to pidgeonhole yourself into, to maximize the reach and prevent any altercation that threatens the upper echelons of the social order.
Polarising take there! Thanks for sharing
I'm one of the rare guys who listens to aesthetics apparently. I don't chase it. I just listen to it after work while doodling. My personality doesn't register a lot of things as important actually.
Anyway, I didn't know this side of aesthetics existed. That must be really frustrating. But on the bright side, there's wisdom from this. So that's always something.
Cool channel btw.
Thank you 😊
this is such a great and informative video! I think what I've ended up struggling with after trying to escape the boundaries of aesthetic is trying to figure out what *is* me. the idea that I have to have a solid identity is what's more difficult to get rid of than any particular aesthetic. I feel like I get whiplash from all the different things I like because I'm so accustomed to the "right" thing being to exclusively stick to what I'm used to. the need to fit into something is very real on a subconscious level, and it's very human. so in that sense I think it's worth it for me and others to focus on changing our ideas on what it means to fit in somewhere. obviously, aesthetics are both a simple and superficial way to feel included. but ultimately, actual connection doesn't come from the kind of clothes you wear, and if it does, it's likely incidental. anyway those are my rambling thoughts. great vid!
Thank you! And I love this insight! I like what you said about changing our ideas on what it means to fit in somewhere; perhaps we should be looking to fit in by finding people and places that make us *feel* we belong, rather than using our identity to try to fit into places we think we'd like to belong. That way we can leave our identity to time and cease trying to label it. Thank you for sharing 😊
you know, not even an aesthsetic (although that being said, i sometimes feel the urge to conform to what i have decided my interests are and aesthetic) but i remember in high school i was a MASSIVE swiftie and then towards the end (year 11/12) i discovered i had other interests and would enjoy other music tastes and my friend accused me of not being a swiftie anymore because i DARED enjoy eurovision and broadway on top of taylor swift,,,,,
That's so interesting and a great example of the pressure some youth feel to prove their interests but staying 'loyal' to it. Thank you for sharing 😊
This wouldn't happen if people had real personalities and identities. Like at first I thought it was just some zodiac kind of thing but as I keeped looking at it,it started to look more controlling. goth and dark academia are things I love but I wouldn't make It my WHOLE personality
I think people forget that you have a personality without trying, you don't need to actively apply things to it, it evolves and materialises on its own.
I have my own style and love it! Classic, fun, refined, homely, and calm and ain't nobody going to take it from me!
Love this 💃
Its scary how correct you are
😕
I like aesthestics but im not dropping everything i already i like to fit it. 😂 i mostly look at it for character design inspiration
💃🕺
I understand where you are coming from. ….. however For me the minimal aesthetic has helped me as I now avoid lots of prints and patters, which helps me greatly, I love patterns/ prints but am highly prone to sensory overload/ problems.
Aesthetics are a great tool. I think the problem is when an individual's sense of self is compromised because they're forcing themselves to stick to an aesthetic. It doesn't sound like you have that problem
i got done with trying to fit into some predefined aesthetic and just collected images that my brain liked to make my own fucked up little micro-aesthetic
it's a horrific blend of y2k futurism, robotcore/cyberpunk, weirdcore with a hint of horror and lots of uv lighting
Sounds cool ☺️
Because Gen-Z is constantly consuming media (and clothing) at such a high rate, there are more options of expression; it's a tool to determine what sub-culture we want to subscribe to. It's a bit of a supply-side explanation: if the options are presented to us, we are more likely to subscribe to them.
Sometimes aesthetics are not used to obtain power. Ideally, they're used to signal who we want to associate with, by means of being a tool. Hopefully, society becomes self-aware enough to look beyond traditional norms of success, because I stg who ever liked J Crew anyways (sorry guys). More generally, people might be able to pick up hobbies that they genuinely find interesting - but what if they don't fit that culture in the first place? I love the idea of being a skater--but I'm def not a skater at heart. the same applies to how I started practicing yoga when I gave up hockey: culturally, hockey wasn't a fit, but yoga was.
I think your video gets at an important point: people (typically younger people) choose hobbies and causes first, not their ego. Ideally, we listen to our true nature firstly, then choose our destination. Our environment shapes our identity more than we know. If we don't know who we are, the more options we have to explore the better. Then we can narrow from there. Fortunately and unfortunately, we ideally get to choose the cults we become a part of that will enhance us and make us the "true-est" versions of who we are/our "self."
I agree, great points that echo the video, I appreciate you sharing, thanks 🙂
Loved the video, such a cute space to film in
Thanks! No I get it, I went back and forth on shortening or removing it, but ultimately decided to keep it because it's the story that started it all for me. I was hoping the polarising aspect of the story would be enough to keep people interested. It's always a gamble! Thank you for your feedback, I welcome it ☺️
@@CassandraEvergreenyou dont need an intro anyways lol
On the topic of masculinity and aesthetic, reducing masculinity to one sub-genre can be harmful. Masculine expression (from the perspective of this video) is homogenous ("hegemonic masculinity"); obviously, that's not true. We know that hipster dudes exist, jocks exist, theatre boys exist, granola boys exist, travel bros exist. It's rather reductionist to say that men don't experience the same problem as women. Thank god this generation has successfully challenged what you called hegemonic masculinity, which I'm guessing is synonymous with toxic masculinity.
Men, including myself, have consciously begun to pick out new clothes because of newfound identities that don't reflect their past selves; it's not a problem unless it becomes obsessive, and pervades consumeristic culture. More generally, there is a fear, especially for those who are unstable in their identity, that our outward expression does not reflect who they truly are. Our expression is generally based on what "cult" we think we're a part of and, more importantly, what we value in our expression. Expression is perhaps more nuanced than it used to be, and in an increasingly visual world, it increases in value proportionally, unfortunately. The norms of power you referred to have thankfully been challenged by the rise of thrifting, and other means of acquiring cheap clothing that doesn't contribute to environmental detriment.
When I say hegemonic masculinity, I'm talking about hegemonic masculinity, not masculinity. There are of course wide variations of masculinity and that is why I specified by speaking specifically to the type of masculinity that is hegemonic. Hegemonic masculinity simply refers to the masculinity that happens to be hegemonic in society at this time. If that is toxic masculinity then yes, when people say hegemonic masculinity that is what they are referring to. But what is hegemonic can change. Perhaps you're getting the word hegemonic confused with homogenous? Hope that helps.
Men and women can absolutely both experience similar issues in regard to this topic, however I was specifically talking about the modes through which women are more readily influenced by these phenomena due to a history of inequality around specific judgement made towards women due to their appearance. I believe I said something to that effect in the video too.
Your second paragraph echoes my video. Thanks for the comment!