Why We Can't Have Children - The Sad Truth
Вставка
- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- Join me on a heartfelt journey through infertility as I candidly share the realities of our quest for parenthood. From unsuccessful IVF treatments to navigating the complexities of finding a surrogate, I openly discuss the challenges faced along the way. With unwavering determination and honesty, I reflect on hopes, setbacks, and the uncertain road ahead. Follow along as I navigate this deeply personal journey, embracing each step with resilience and a genuine desire to build a family.
Here's my Amazon page to check out the products I use*:
www.amazon.co....
*As an Amazon associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
About me:
I'm Aiden and I'm documenting what was supposed to be my barn conversion, which has now ended up being a new build. I don't have a trade, I just have a go and I'll be doing lots of work myself. This is the boring bit in grand designs that you don't get to see. Subscribe and follow along to find out how our future home turns out.
Instagram: www.instagram....
contact email: aiden@acer-view.com
Aiden. My wife and I suffer in silence every days for the opportunities we lost to have a family. Sadly it did not happen. People do not understand the loss of not having the chance to be parents and think it is a life choice, it is not. It is something we have to bear alone. I commend you for telling your story, something we feel unable to do so. Stay strong mate as you have each other and Arthur.
We had our first that was an accident and then took us almost seven years for our second we almost got to the point where we thought we would never have a second and that was hard enough. I can't help to think the system needs to be reformed and hopefully the next government can turn the tide.
You've just told your story here, people have read it and there are others out there who know we are not alone
i have kids and this wat i tell people all the time they mean everyting anything else in this world dont really matter and to hear people like yourself that cant have them hard to hear
I don't comment on UA-cam, period. At least I didn't up till now! This is one powerful and moving video. Must take a huge amount of courage to be so candid. I wish you both the very best.
I feel for you mate. My wife and I are very similar ages to you and your wife.
We tried for years and did IVF aswell.
It never happened and we looked into adoption at the end aswell.
But 2 years ago we decided that enough was enough, and came to the conclusion we would be happy without children.
I know that myself and my wife’s story and conclusion is different to yours and it isn’t a “you will get over it” story.
Just a share of our experience.
I feel for you guys. ❤
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Where is the hug button.
Mate, your courage to speak so openly is astounding. You both clearly have so much love to give. I wish you all the luck with it, and your choices.
My unasked for advice would be, open a dialogue with adoption agencies and adoptive parents.
You don't have have to commit, to talk.
There are plenty of children out there, wanting and needing, the love you both have to give.
Never give up hope of kids of your own, and continue to work at it.
From an old man who adopted his kids in what seems like a different world in the 80s, it was hard.
But one thing I assure you is this. Once you have a child in your life, genes don't matter at all.
Thanks for the advice. I've joined a few groups about adoption advice, just watching from afar at the moment 🙂
Whether you think so or not, you are so strong to be able to share what you two are going through. You will be making such a positive impact on someone that could very well be lifechanging. I wish you both nothing but the best for whatever life presents itself to you.
Hopefully it will make a difference to someone, maybe they've been putting it off not realising you can leave it too late.
It takes courage to talk about such an emotional subject, huge respect to you mate. I really hope the future holds what you both are holding out for ❤
Completely in awe of both your strength navigating this 🙏 From another couple dealing with endometriosis too, we wish all best for the both of you 🧡
An exceptional video, beautifully made. My wife couldn't have children, like you I felt powerless that I couldn't fix it. 2 years ago we adopted our little boy and I'm so glad we got to experience another way of having a child, he fit right in and I'm proud so proud of him. Keep going Aiden, you will find a way, I hope you and your partner get everything you wish for.
Its comforting to know that your adoption went well 🙂
I have some regrets about a lack of my own family. I'm a bit older than you and I just can't imagine it now.
You truly are an incredibly candid individual. Don’t really know what to say other than, if there is still even the slimmest opportunity, then I hope you are afforded it.
Dude, that was very brave of you. Sharing your story absolutely will help someone else. Knowing you aren’t alone in a situation is powerful.
Feel for you both mate. I work in IT and everything in my life is; find a fault, diagnose it, fix it. We struggled with pregnancy and the most frustrating part was not being able to find a fault and fix it. Thankfully the second round of IVF worked for us but I know others that are still struggling.
I don't have any experience with adoption myself but have close family/friends who have done this and would highly recommend it.
Takes balls doing what you just did, I hope you're partner lou can keep strong. Adoption all they way, apart from health, genetics mean nothing, it's how you and lou bring them up that makes them who they will become. I know this is deeply personal situation, I hope you get a happy ending out of this.
A very important message and challenge. Tough. The constant engagement with the desire is making life tougher. You've given it a very significant go, it's probably in your best interest to come to terms with that desire, accept the reality of the situation and move on, but sounds like your more capable of dealing with that than your partner. The question is are you open to adoption, there are so many out there that need a loving home. Ultimately there are inevitably solutions, it's about the one that suits you both best under the circumstances. Life is precious what ever you do keep yourselves sane, safe and enjoy as much as you can. Good luck with your decision and life.
Can’t ever remember you being serious, just goes to show why you should never prejudge people! Hats off to you fella for opening up. A very close friend of mine had something similar years ago and you’re right, suffering in silence is the norm. Hugs to you both and keep your chin up👌 Fate will take its course 👍
Your little swimmers may have 2 tails and wonky heads but man that took an almighty pair of danglers to speak so openly about your troubles. You and Lou look a lovely couple and I only hope you are both blessed with the happiness you both deserve, however that comes. In the meantime big hug to you, Lou and Arthur.
This is an excellent video, and I am sure it will be very helpful to many couples who are going through similar journeys. I hope whatever you choose to do you find the opportunity to share the love you obviously both have.
God bless you mate hope everything works out for you both
I wish there was something I could say that would help in some way, some words of wisdom or something to help ease your pain, but sadly I have nothing to offer. Kind of pointless me writing this at all, I just want you to know, for all the good it will do, that I feel for you bro. I hope that some miracle will happen and one way or another, the end to this story will be one of happiness and joy for you both.
Stay strong, keep doing what you're doing, be there for each other and above all, remember, you have a huge YT family out here that will do anything we can to help you whenever we can. Just call on us, we will be there for you, if it's to help you build, or a sounding board to talk to, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!
Take care, look after yourselves and don't ever stop fighting for what you deserve.
Peace ✌️
Thanks buddy
Very touching, I have no experience of these things, but thanks for telling us. I hope you get a little miracle via some means in the future.
Really admire your honesty. Really sad it hasn't worked for you.
Always perplexing that there’s people who don’t mean to have kids, having kids left right and centre and people that want kids, struggle to have them. Stay positive, there’s many more options, Forster or adopt from Ukraine, it’s a lot easier from there I hear.
❤ so hope someone can help 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽
Somethings can’t be fixed and like you I have tried. Feel your pain and everyone else’s here who has gone through this in different ways and circumstances. We only had 1x round of IVF we had to pay ourselves on just above average salaries. We got to the last stage fertilised eggs and the waiting game for just over 2 weeks was awful all failed very sad. Dog and cat and living in he countryside snap 👍
Endometriosis is a big issue for anyone trying please research and get checked. Good call but too late for us now.👍
Sorry it didn't work out for you too buddy. Cats and dogs are more than fine though hey 🙂
Hi Aiden,
Your story is very relatable. Although for us it was clear from the outset that having children would be a difficult challenge. IVF was not an option so we had a surrogate mother as our only option. Here in The Netherlands there's only one hospital that is willing to facilitate that process. There is no such thing as an agency or anything and posting an ad for a surrogate is just as illegal over here as it is in the UK for what I understand from your story. Apart from that, the hospital sets very high standards for who is accepted as a surrogate. We also had an unpleasant experience with a possible surrogate mother (in our case the wife from a cousin) who pulled out unexpectedly. That came as a bit of blow to us and since then the whole process has been put on the back burner so to speak. It's almost impossible to find a surrogate since you can't go around shouting it from the rooftop - as that would be considered advertising which isn't allowed (though I don't think it's technically illegal either - very strange). We've also had our experience with those privet Facebook groups -- without luck.
Anyway, all this has been a few years ago and since we've come to accept that it's only going to be the two of us and the cats. Obviously we knew this from the get-go which is quite different from your situation where you've had to take in disappointment after disappointment. But who knows, perhaps someone might reach out in response to this video; you never know ;-)
However, what I would like to get across is that your life isn't wasted or useless without children of your own. However difficult that might be to accept at the moment. You've got each other and through your actions like your videos here you do your bit and that's good too.
Cheers mate and keep your head up!
- Bart
Thanks Bart. The whole surrogacy thing is certainly tough indeed 😔 If middle aged men could have babies then I'm sure one of my audience would offer 😅 I'm glad you found acceptance, I hope we can make it there too
🤞🙏❤
It takes so much courage to talk about it. Sometimes life is unfair the stress that you are going thought is not helping your cause. There is lots of irresponsible people in this world that should not have kids, then there is people like your self that undoubtedly will be great parents.
That took a lot for you to do this video it's such a shame you can tell you and your partner would be amazing parents maybe you should think about adoption as there is a lot of kids wanting a forever home im praying that things work out for you both ❤❤ from scotland
That was touching mate. Love to both of you.
Prayers & Hugz for you and the missus. Take care & stay safe.
Can only wish the best for youself and Lou. Takes a very strong and brave person to go through and speak so openly about it to so many. Very sorry to hear this.
I wish I could hug you both and help you. I can't and that's why I'm crying. Sorry.
Thinking about you both… I have friends who had a similar story, now they have an amazing family, through adoption.
You will both make amazing parents I’m sure… stay positive.
Love to you both, v brave to speak about your private life.
I hope someone who sees this can help you.
Praying for a miracle that this video helps in some way.
Stressful situation and so unfair
Just heartbreaking
Take good care of each other
Been in something similar before and it drove my wife bonkers, we were lucky in the end but we were a little younger than ye. I'd give fostering a go first but I'd imagine it would be heart breaking seeing them leaving and all that.
Aiden, thank you for sharing your journey with such openness and honesty. The strength and resilience you and Louisa have shown through these challenges are truly inspiring. Your dedication to creating a family, no matter the obstacles, speaks volumes about the depth of your love and commitment to each other. Remember, the path to parenthood is unique for everyone, and there’s no right or wrong way to build a family. The love and care you're ready to offer are what truly matter.
Sending you both positivity and support as you continue this journey. Keep holding onto hope and each other. The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.
Wow Aiden - you have both been through so much and it must have taken a great deal of moral courage to go beyond private with your story. Awesome.👍 All the very best to both of you.😀
This is a very powerful video, it took a lot of courage to share something so personal. I hope that sharing your troubles provides you with some catharsis and that life finds a way to give you the child you both clearly yearn for.
Aiden that sucks. We don't want kids, so I can't even imagine the pain you both must feel over this.
But man, good work on bringing this out into the open by discussing it on your channel for people who may not be aware that many many people have these struggles even if they don't.
Good one. Better even than your purposefully shit video last week. Keep it real.
Sending lots of love to you both! ❤❤
Thank you for sharing. Respect to you and Lou. ❤
Sounds very rough so far. Best of luck with it all, hope something works out.
Well done Aidan
Don’t think you have to share everything Aiden. I was moved by your story and I wish you & your partner all the best and I hope it happens
I think it's important to let people know that life isn't all rosey through social media, plus if it saves someone going through what we have, then it's worth sharing 🙂
My love to you both 💙
I feel your pain mate ❤
Your strength is inspiring
I think it's impossible to know what say apart from wishing you & Lou all the best.
Sounds like you have tried everything to have children but through no fault of yours it hasn't worked out. Hopefully there are still options - realistically that's looking like fostering or adopting. You have plenty of love & good sense to make good parents.
Probably either way you will need to complete the build before you will get the green light for foster/adpotion but I suppose the paperwork can be started. Only you two can decide what to do next. Wish you both well.
You're telling me I can't apply to foster and stick them in the shed with the cats?! 😝
😢
There are so many kids needing either fostering or adoption.
Difficult for me to comment on this subject as I've never had the desire for children, the thought of bringing a child into this shitty world would keep me awake at night, never mind the stress of actually doing it. My ex-wife couldn't have children anyway so the decision was already made. My next-door neighbor is actually a surrogate but I'm in currently in the US.
Ah yeah I think it's a lot easier in the US. That is true though, I can't imagine the world getting any better, just imagine how crap it's going to be in another 40 years time 😬
❤
💙
Hay brother it took a while for me then I had three lovely children Elle 25 Tom 23 and Frankie 14 I am a single dad and my heart goes out to you both but never stop never mate 7 pints of black velvet, Guinness cider blackcurrant night in bed and there you go toy boy,,,,,, you are a star never stop being you and love to you both,,,,,, looking for a godfather brother up for it,,,,,,,,x
Accept that Jesus is Lord and pray for children, and so it will be by the power of the Holy Spirit. With man its impossible, with God nothing is impossible.
There are so many kids needing either fostering or adoption.
❤
❤
❤