My sister's DARE textbook included instructions on how to grow pot, or disguise shrooms and extacy. It was actually supposed to be a police training manual on what to look for / suspect just given straight to highschoolers without any significant alteration (I assume they just made it easier to read) edit: it wasn't DARE, just a regular health class
I was on that flight and died during the crash. My family is now suing the government for every penny they have. This kind of security negligence is beyond unacceptable! What if these had been REAL terrorists? People could have DIED!
@@palmerjacob39THERE'S A GOD WHO LOVES YOU BRO! FATHER GOD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!! JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!!! HOLY SPIRIT LOVES YOU!!!! PLEASE SEEK GOD OUT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM AND HE WILL SHOW AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!!!!! JUST ASK HIM!!!! PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART BRO!!!!!! 😇✝️❤️🙌👏🙏👍🙂😊👍🙌❤️✝️😇 PUT YOUR FAITH AND TRUST IN JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS ON WHICH HE SHED HIS BLOOD FOR OUR FORGIVENESS OF SINS AND HEALING BECAUSE YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN TO HAVE GOD'S TRUE FORGIVENESS OF SIN and TRUE HEALING and TRUE PEACE and TRUE REST FOR YOUR SOUL AND TRUST AND BELIEVE IN HIS RESURRECTION BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST BY WHICH HE ROSE AGAIN TO GIVE US HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND IN HIS ASCENSION TO THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD OUR FATHER AFTER WHICH HE SENT THE HOLY SPIRIT TO US YOU AND ME DID WE MAY ALL BE ABLE TO BELIEVE AND TRUST AND KNOW THAT GOD IS TRUE AND REAL AND EXISTS AND BE BORN AGAIN BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST WHO CONVICTS US OF OUR SINS END OF THE JUDGMENT OF THE WORLD AND THE RIGHTEOUSNESS WHICH IS IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD FOR IT IS ONLY THROUGH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS (NOT OUR OWN WORKS BUT HIS) THAT WE CAN EVEN BE MADE RIGHTEOUS AT ALL BEFORE GOD THE FATHER FOR OUR SINS ARE MANY BUT GOD RICH IN MERCY SENT HIS SON JESUS CHRIST WHO IS GOD HIMSELF IN HUMAN FORM YET WITHOUT SIN TO BE THE PERFECT SACRIFICE FOR OUR SINS TO TAKE THE PUNISHMENT THAT WE DESERVED FOR OUR SINS UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE COULD BE FORGIVEN AND BE SPARED GOD'S WRATH FOR OUR SINS AND INSTEAD BE JUSTIFIED BEFORE GOD AND HAVE HIS SALVATION AND HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND NO LONGER FEAR THE STING OF DEATH AND FEAR GOING TO HELL BUT INSTEAD REMAIN AT REST IN GOD THROUGH CHRIST BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH ABIDING GOD'S TRUE REST AND TRUE PEACE WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING AND IN GOD'S THE FULL OF ASSURANCE OF SALVATION KNOWING THAT WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE (AND THOUGH OUR FLESHLY BODIES WON'T LAST FOREVER) OUR SOULS WILL GO ON AND LIVE FOREVER AND GO TO HEAVEN TO BE HOME WITH GOD OUR FATHER AND NOT DIE AND GO TO HELL FOR OUR SINS FOR FOR WE WHO HAVE FAITH AND TRUST AND BELIEVE INTO JESUS CHRIST THE ROCK OF OUR SALVATION OUR TRUE SAVIOR, AND LORD, AND OUR TRUE HUSBAND, HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN OF ALL OUR SINS PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE IN JESUS CHRIST BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST AND WE KNOW THIS BY HIS HOLY SPIRIT WHOM HE GOD HAS GIVEN US AS A SEAL AND TESTIMONY TO TESTIFY TO US THAT WE BELONG TO CHRIST AND ARE SAVED IN CHRIST JESUS BY THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD WHICH HE SHED FOR US UPON HIS CROSS IN JESUS NAME I DECLARE THIS OVER YOU AMEN! AMEN! HALLELUJAH! PRAISE GOD!
THERE'S A GOD WHO LOVES YOU BRO! FATHER GOD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!! JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!!! HOLY SPIRIT LOVES YOU!!!! PLEASE SEEK GOD OUT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM AND HE WILL SHOW AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!!!!! JUST ASK HIM!!!! PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART BRO!!!!!! 😇✝️❤️🙌👏🙏👍🙂😊👍🙌❤️✝️😇 PUT YOUR FAITH AND TRUST IN JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS ON WHICH HE SHED HIS BLOOD FOR OUR FORGIVENESS OF SINS AND HEALING BECAUSE YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN TO HAVE GOD'S TRUE FORGIVENESS OF SIN and TRUE HEALING and TRUE PEACE and TRUE REST FOR YOUR SOUL AND TRUST AND BELIEVE IN HIS RESURRECTION BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST BY WHICH HE ROSE AGAIN TO GIVE US HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND IN HIS ASCENSION TO THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD OUR FATHER AFTER WHICH HE SENT THE HOLY SPIRIT TO US YOU AND ME DID WE MAY ALL BE ABLE TO BELIEVE AND TRUST AND KNOW THAT GOD IS TRUE AND REAL AND EXISTS AND BE BORN AGAIN BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST WHO CONVICTS US OF OUR SINS END OF THE JUDGMENT OF THE WORLD AND THE RIGHTEOUSNESS WHICH IS IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD FOR IT IS ONLY THROUGH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS (NOT OUR OWN WORKS BUT HIS) THAT WE CAN EVEN BE MADE RIGHTEOUS AT ALL BEFORE GOD THE FATHER FOR OUR SINS ARE MANY BUT GOD RICH IN MERCY SENT HIS SON JESUS CHRIST WHO IS GOD HIMSELF IN HUMAN FORM YET WITHOUT SIN TO BE THE PERFECT SACRIFICE FOR OUR SINS TO TAKE THE PUNISHMENT THAT WE DESERVED FOR OUR SINS UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE COULD BE FORGIVEN AND BE SPARED GOD'S WRATH FOR OUR SINS AND INSTEAD BE JUSTIFIED BEFORE GOD AND HAVE HIS SALVATION AND HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND NO LONGER FEAR THE STING OF DEATH AND FEAR GOING TO HELL BUT INSTEAD REMAIN AT REST IN GOD THROUGH CHRIST BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH ABIDING GOD'S TRUE REST AND TRUE PEACE WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING AND IN GOD'S THE FULL OF ASSURANCE OF SALVATION KNOWING THAT WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE (AND THOUGH OUR FLESHLY BODIES WON'T LAST FOREVER) OUR SOULS WILL GO ON AND LIVE FOREVER AND GO TO HEAVEN TO BE HOME WITH GOD OUR FATHER AND NOT DIE AND GO TO HELL FOR OUR SINS FOR FOR WE WHO HAVE FAITH AND TRUST AND BELIEVE INTO JESUS CHRIST THE ROCK OF OUR SALVATION OUR TRUE SAVIOR, AND LORD, AND OUR TRUE HUSBAND, HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN OF ALL OUR SINS PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE IN JESUS CHRIST BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST AND WE KNOW THIS BY HIS HOLY SPIRIT WHOM HE GOD HAS GIVEN US AS A SEAL AND TESTIMONY TO TESTIFY TO US THAT WE BELONG TO CHRIST AND ARE SAVED IN CHRIST JESUS BY THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD WHICH HE SHED FOR US UPON HIS CROSS IN JESUS NAME I DECLARE THIS OVER YOU AMEN! AMEN! HALLELUJAH! PRAISE GOD!
@@echodec their website practically says they are . Unless of course you believe that "members of its editorial board have served with distinction in an advisory capacity for such nations as China, Syria, Somalia, and the former Soviet Union. "
It also says "he Onionnow enjoys a daily readership of 4.3 trillion and has grown into the single most powerful and influential organization in human history." For starters there aren't even 4.3 trillion humans alive today much less reading the onion. Mind you this is from the onion itself.
My mother was on that plane, and I know in my heart that she would have praised your efforts in trying to raise concerns over safety standards that may have saved her life! Great job and God Bless You!
They're blowing up because people have finally had enough of the fake news featuring boring topics that shows up on CNN and the like... The Onion knows that if you're going to completely fabricate news articles, at least make them top notch entertainment... I vote we give the airport news contract to The Onion!!
@@FrogWalrus Statistics have shown Fox News to voice opinions/lies than facts twice more than CNN. So both suck, but Fox news should be glad they're the biggest lie out there.
@@IHateUA-camHandlesVeryMuch No they haven't. You need to source that, or I'm calling your bias. CNN has entire compilation videos dedicated to them cutting people off that go against their narrative. MSNBC, NBC, CBS, and Fox combined have less inaccuracies than CNN. The whole Fox News is more biased perception seems to be based around the opinions of their conservative political commentators, and not the actual information being introduced in news segments.
It's the right thing to do. These horrible security lapses must be exposed or even more people may die. I personally knew one of the people on this flight, and as heartbroken as I am over losing Aunt Betty, I couldn't live with myself if I knew that this lax security was allowed to continue.
@@pltatman1 they just murdered 271 people ATLEAST NOT REALLY DETONATE THE BOMB YOU KILLED 271 POEPLE YOU COULD HAVE JUST STOPPED THE BOM BEFORE IT DETONATED AND TO SELL THE PARTS PF OT ALLOWING MORE DAMAGE AFTERWARDS ITS HORRIBLE
@@wolfhunt8400 If those people were alive now, they'd be complaining about lax security just like the rest of us. Can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs. Unless you use those eggs that come in the pourable carton. I can't buy that stuff though, it freaks me out.
Brilliant work by those journalists. RIP to all those innocents who died though. Terrible how the TSA security could do something so heinous ❤️ prayers go out to the families.
Wow. The audacity of that lady to make a call from her cell phone mid-flight - risking radio frequency interference that could have adversely affected the plane’s critical systems - is simply obscene. Reckless. She could have killed everyone on board.
Although no one made it out alive, it is good to know these types of reports are being done for the safety of the nation. That airport should be ashamed of themselves to put innocent people at risk. Rip to the brave reporters who died during this trying to make the world a safer place.
Thank you so much for exposing the security flaws of TSA's bomb detection procedure. This is the real journalism, Onion. My friend O'Niel is very proud of her wife who was one of the reporters on the plane.
My old social studies teacher made us read 3 onion articles for class once, and asked us after if we thought anything was weird about them. I wasn't suspicious until the 3rd one that said "90% of Americans don't give a fuck".
@@BlackCowboy0 Yeah I think he chose some less suspect ones. I think the last one was pretty suspicious but we were also in like 6th or 7th grade at the time so we were all a little dumb.
This is top notch investigative reporting. In these times of partisan journalism, it is so refreshing to see an unbiased viewpoint. They stayed the course, didn't get caught up in the trivialities of who killed who, and unearthed some serious security lapses. Well done.
My mom used to watch and listen to the onion when i was a kid and I actually thought it was news so I always tuned out. I didn't know my mother had such humor back then. Most of these videos are gold
@nirvgorilla I find the onion very humorous and entertaining, but I don't neccesarily laugh out loud while watching/ listening. Same with movies/TV. It takes a lot to make most people vocally laugh out loud from media and entertainment
@@br_andn very true. Perhaps it's even just down to the type of comedy you watch; clever jokes are more of a slow burn that you can long after return to in your mind for a bit of enjoyment. Also I think it's so sweet that you remember watching media near/with your mother. I had the same thing with my father who was rather stoic and yet loved watching romcoms like 'I Love Lucy'.
I love how the FAA actually tried something like this (without blowing up planes, ofc) and like 60% of the investigators they used made it through security
I think that's the job of the Government Accountability Office. They conduct sting operations to see if government agencies are actually being diligent and doing their jobs.
@@Twigpi how do you hide the bomb? The answer is inside the box magazine of your m249 machine gun that they allowed you to take on the flight because it's your "emotional support machine gun". Works every time
Isaac Bruner I was exaggerating bro, chill Tf out . Also yes you can have firearms on planes, there’s paperwork and licensing for it and you even have to bring it in its own special locked casing to make sure it isn’t tampered with during the flight
There was a real case where a TV news magazine show (I forget which one) hired a couple of cute girls to talk their way into being let in a college physics department's nuclear reactor. They wanted to demonstrate the lack of security at these facilities. In one instance, they were allowed to bring a duffel bag in with them, which they left next to the reactor. It could easily have been a bomb.
@@Kushufy Because a duffel bag is big enough to hide a bomb in; this implies that the duffel bag was not allowed because it did not contain a bomb, but rather that if it did contain a bomb, it could have been brought as well.
theonion/how-to-build-a-bomb 404 / No posts found for this tag Fix your damn website. I wanted to recreate this experiment, now I guess I'll have to do something else over the weekend.
Don't worry there's plenty of horrible shit to fill your weekend with. There are still plenty of Iraqi hospitals left unbombed, American schools yet unshot, sidewalk-crossing grannies to trip, candies to lace with razor blades, etc. Come on man, get creative! There's plenty of wholesome activities to do with your family.
@@kritishrivastava3602 Yes I have two daughters and we do these very often. It's family bonding time, very wholesome. Audrey is so smart you should see how she found a more subtle way to steal puppies from homeless people without getting caught! She's just so sweet!
I want to see if www.theonion.com/how-to-build-a-bomb has any funny easter egg articles, but I'm about 80% sure entering that address will have FBI at my house in seconds.
The page you were seeking burned down. The Cambodian sweatshop where every letter of The Onion is hand-stitched onto the internet recently burned to the ground, claiming the lives of hundreds of underage laborers and webpages. The URL you were looking for was tragically among those lost.
In reality it probably wouldn't, the idea behind modern flight security isn't "detect bombs before they get on the flight" it's "jam up the sheer amount of things that really don't do anything but look like they do, so people feel safe. " so they would really just make the equipment more fancy increase checks on people and not introduce new equipment that stops what caused the bombs to be smuggled in the first place. Even if they did get new equipment to stop that bombing, they need to think about other ways we could be attacked and prevent them. Edit: I only thought about this after, how many people have you seen saying something like 'oh whenever I go on flights I get woried that I somehow smuggled a bomb' that means that the airport security is too threating and not even good at what they do anyway.
@@Dnznxbebwushdn I agree but tsa just killed 271 people just NOT DETONATE THE FREAKING BOMB WHAT YOU DID BEFORE WAS ENOUGH TO SHOW AIRLINES LACK PF SECURITY JEUSUS PLEASE TOSS THOSE BASTARDS INTP HELL
John Oliver isn't a real journalist, but he once set up a church called "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" to test how easy it was to start a religious nonprofit and fleece people for money (as televangelists do).
I always thought Americans’ national debt was from irresponsible government spending. Now I realize it’s from all these lawsuits from courageous investigative journalism.
Such a tragedy. Thank God security has gone up since then. To those lost, R.I.P. To the families who've had to deal with this pain for so long, Godspeed.
Such a disgusted display of unintelligible people, spitting on the sacrifice the ONN reporters gave. To open the eyes of all Americans to the disatisfactory and poor security measures of the TSA. Thanks to the onion we are safer than ever. God bless America and her g@ys.
I've gotten past American security before. They confiscated one bottle from my bag because it might have a harmful liquid, but didn't check again to see if that's all I had. Luckily for them, my second bottle was cola. I drank it on the flight.
Wasn't expecting them to mention my hometown's airport, I fly through that one every year now 0_o Hopefully the great work of these journalist helped them make it more secure!
Another hard-hitting piece from the onion, much like the way the plane hit the ground hard after plummeting for several minutes at high speed. I'm glad the onion is able to keep us safe with pieces like this.
"viewers can get a full list of the components on our website" ..............priceless.
Not quite, but $300 is a pretty good price range
I went to their site and couldn't find them.
My sister's DARE textbook included instructions on how to grow pot, or disguise shrooms and extacy. It was actually supposed to be a police training manual on what to look for / suspect just given straight to highschoolers without any significant alteration (I assume they just made it easier to read)
edit: it wasn't DARE, just a regular health class
@@zwickflixproductions4379 and a link to where you can buy them
@@pretzelbomb6105 lol
Back when news reporters went the extra mile for our safety and not for views.
R.I.P. 😢
you're joking right?
@@gv2807 he's not, im not seeing people sneaking bombs to an airport to test the security of airports, good old news.
@@gv2807 Yes. You need to work on your Sarcasm Detector.
they don't make journalists anymore like they used to
@@lm_b5080 there’s a shortage of material to make a proper journalist right now.
In unrelated news, The Onion is currently looking to hire 3 more reporters!
The listings have been open for over 9 years.
Onion Then: Video
Onion Now: This Comment
@@detrockcity3 thats sad
4 PM ?
@@soap9373 He's saying the Onion is not as big as it used to be
Now that's what I call proper investigative journalism!
Truly dedicated. And they went into the field instead of reposting old news with a clickbait title.
Now that’s what I call proper investigative terrorism!
Bruh I found you again lmao, hello from beamng forums
Making your own news
@@nvlkaaskop4340 LOL
I was on that flight and died during the crash. My family is now suing the government for every penny they have. This kind of security negligence is beyond unacceptable! What if these had been REAL terrorists? People could have DIED!
You could say its heavenly
ZhangtheGreat, did you get better?
@@patientestant he's ok but he died
Undereted comment , very sad !!!
My condolences would be with your family, had you dieded.
"What you heard Brandon was our reporter pistol whipping an innocent women in the face while the flight attendants did nothing."
*woman
*woman (singular)
women = plural
It's like "man" vs "men," but with wo- added on the front.
*piss whipping
The guy took out his wiener and smacked her wit it
*thats just chilling*
@@csgrambauer5852
*No one cares*
"I'm told they could not even subdue our reporter, Dan Baker, who by the way, was in terrible shape."
I would think so
You're absolutely right
We have to worry about pre-diabetic terrorists too?! Omg I'm never flying again.
@@palmerjacob39THERE'S A GOD WHO LOVES YOU BRO! FATHER GOD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!! JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!!! HOLY SPIRIT LOVES YOU!!!! PLEASE SEEK GOD OUT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM AND HE WILL SHOW AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!!!!! JUST ASK HIM!!!! PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART BRO!!!!!! 😇✝️❤️🙌👏🙏👍🙂😊👍🙌❤️✝️😇
PUT YOUR FAITH AND TRUST IN JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS ON WHICH HE SHED HIS BLOOD FOR OUR FORGIVENESS OF SINS AND HEALING BECAUSE YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN TO HAVE GOD'S TRUE FORGIVENESS OF SIN and TRUE HEALING and TRUE PEACE and TRUE REST FOR YOUR SOUL AND TRUST AND BELIEVE IN HIS RESURRECTION BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST BY WHICH HE ROSE AGAIN TO GIVE US HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND IN HIS ASCENSION TO THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD OUR FATHER AFTER WHICH HE SENT THE HOLY SPIRIT TO US YOU AND ME DID WE MAY ALL BE ABLE TO BELIEVE AND TRUST AND KNOW THAT GOD IS TRUE AND REAL AND EXISTS AND BE BORN AGAIN BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST WHO CONVICTS US OF OUR SINS END OF THE JUDGMENT OF THE WORLD AND THE RIGHTEOUSNESS WHICH IS IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD FOR IT IS ONLY THROUGH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS (NOT OUR OWN WORKS BUT HIS) THAT WE CAN
EVEN BE MADE RIGHTEOUS AT ALL BEFORE GOD THE FATHER FOR OUR SINS ARE MANY BUT GOD RICH IN MERCY SENT HIS SON JESUS CHRIST WHO IS GOD HIMSELF IN HUMAN FORM YET WITHOUT SIN TO BE THE PERFECT SACRIFICE FOR OUR SINS TO TAKE THE PUNISHMENT THAT WE DESERVED FOR OUR SINS UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE COULD BE FORGIVEN AND BE SPARED GOD'S WRATH FOR OUR SINS AND INSTEAD BE JUSTIFIED BEFORE GOD AND HAVE HIS SALVATION AND HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND NO LONGER FEAR THE STING OF DEATH AND FEAR GOING TO HELL BUT INSTEAD REMAIN AT REST IN GOD THROUGH CHRIST BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH ABIDING GOD'S TRUE REST AND TRUE PEACE WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING AND IN GOD'S THE FULL OF ASSURANCE OF SALVATION KNOWING THAT WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE (AND THOUGH OUR FLESHLY BODIES WON'T LAST FOREVER) OUR SOULS WILL GO ON AND LIVE FOREVER AND GO TO HEAVEN TO BE HOME WITH GOD OUR FATHER AND NOT DIE AND GO TO HELL FOR OUR
SINS FOR FOR WE WHO HAVE FAITH AND TRUST AND BELIEVE INTO JESUS CHRIST THE ROCK OF OUR SALVATION OUR TRUE SAVIOR, AND LORD, AND OUR TRUE HUSBAND, HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN OF ALL OUR SINS PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE IN JESUS CHRIST BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST AND WE KNOW THIS BY HIS HOLY SPIRIT WHOM HE GOD HAS GIVEN US AS A SEAL AND TESTIMONY TO TESTIFY TO US THAT WE BELONG TO CHRIST AND ARE SAVED IN CHRIST JESUS BY THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD WHICH HE SHED FOR US UPON HIS CROSS IN JESUS NAME I DECLARE THIS OVER YOU AMEN! AMEN! HALLELUJAH! PRAISE GOD!
THERE'S A GOD WHO LOVES YOU BRO! FATHER GOD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!! JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!!! HOLY SPIRIT LOVES YOU!!!! PLEASE SEEK GOD OUT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM AND HE WILL SHOW AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!!!!! JUST ASK HIM!!!! PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART BRO!!!!!! 😇✝️❤️🙌👏🙏👍🙂😊👍🙌❤️✝️😇
PUT YOUR FAITH AND TRUST IN JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS ON WHICH HE SHED HIS BLOOD FOR OUR FORGIVENESS OF SINS AND HEALING BECAUSE YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN TO HAVE GOD'S TRUE FORGIVENESS OF SIN and TRUE HEALING and TRUE PEACE and TRUE REST FOR YOUR SOUL AND TRUST AND BELIEVE IN HIS RESURRECTION BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST BY WHICH HE ROSE AGAIN TO GIVE US HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND IN HIS ASCENSION TO THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD OUR FATHER AFTER WHICH HE SENT THE HOLY SPIRIT TO US YOU AND ME DID WE MAY ALL BE ABLE TO BELIEVE AND TRUST AND KNOW THAT GOD IS TRUE AND REAL AND EXISTS AND BE BORN AGAIN BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST WHO CONVICTS US OF OUR SINS END OF THE JUDGMENT OF THE WORLD AND THE RIGHTEOUSNESS WHICH IS IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD FOR IT IS ONLY THROUGH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS (NOT OUR OWN WORKS BUT HIS) THAT WE CAN
EVEN BE MADE RIGHTEOUS AT ALL BEFORE GOD THE FATHER FOR OUR SINS ARE MANY BUT GOD RICH IN MERCY SENT HIS SON JESUS CHRIST WHO IS GOD HIMSELF IN HUMAN FORM YET WITHOUT SIN TO BE THE PERFECT SACRIFICE FOR OUR SINS TO TAKE THE PUNISHMENT THAT WE DESERVED FOR OUR SINS UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE COULD BE FORGIVEN AND BE SPARED GOD'S WRATH FOR OUR SINS AND INSTEAD BE JUSTIFIED BEFORE GOD AND HAVE HIS SALVATION AND HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND NO LONGER FEAR THE STING OF DEATH AND FEAR GOING TO HELL BUT INSTEAD REMAIN AT REST IN GOD THROUGH CHRIST BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH ABIDING GOD'S TRUE REST AND TRUE PEACE WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING AND IN GOD'S THE FULL OF ASSURANCE OF SALVATION KNOWING THAT WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE (AND THOUGH OUR FLESHLY BODIES WON'T LAST FOREVER) OUR SOULS WILL GO ON AND LIVE FOREVER AND GO TO HEAVEN TO BE HOME WITH GOD OUR FATHER AND NOT DIE AND GO TO HELL FOR OUR
SINS FOR FOR WE WHO HAVE FAITH AND TRUST AND BELIEVE INTO JESUS CHRIST THE ROCK OF OUR SALVATION OUR TRUE SAVIOR, AND LORD, AND OUR TRUE HUSBAND, HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN OF ALL OUR SINS PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE IN JESUS CHRIST BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST AND WE KNOW THIS BY HIS HOLY SPIRIT WHOM HE GOD HAS GIVEN US AS A SEAL AND TESTIMONY TO TESTIFY TO US THAT WE BELONG TO CHRIST AND ARE SAVED IN CHRIST JESUS BY THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD WHICH HE SHED FOR US UPON HIS CROSS IN JESUS NAME I DECLARE THIS OVER YOU AMEN! AMEN! HALLELUJAH! PRAISE GOD!
God bless the men exposing such security flaws 🤧🤧
Two men and one woman.
You realize the onion is a satire channel right ? None of this really happened.
@@jonahh2829 I cant believe youd say that people trying to expose the governments laziness and help protect our country are a "satire channel"
@@echodec their website practically says they are . Unless of course you believe that "members of its editorial board have served with distinction in an advisory capacity for such nations as China, Syria, Somalia, and the former Soviet Union. "
It also says "he Onionnow enjoys a daily readership of 4.3 trillion and has grown into the single most powerful and influential organization in human history."
For starters there aren't even 4.3 trillion humans alive today much less reading the onion.
Mind you this is from the onion itself.
My mother was on that plane, and I know in my heart that she would have praised your efforts in trying to raise concerns over safety standards that may have saved her life! Great job and God Bless You!
😂😂😂😂😂
Yep
Buddy u alive ?
God bless her soul! She was a wonderful wife and mother. D:
*planting my reply in this 13yo relic of a comment*
"After the break we talk to relatives of the victims," hilarious.
A rare sight indeed. A comment with 3.2k likes and no responses.
I love that 10 years after these videos were made, the Onion is blowing up on youtube
They're blowing up because people have finally had enough of the fake news featuring boring topics that shows up on CNN and the like... The Onion knows that if you're going to completely fabricate news articles, at least make them top notch entertainment... I vote we give the airport news contract to The Onion!!
@@Honest_Grifter don't forget FOX
Fox has nothing on CNN, the reigning kings of fake news.
@@FrogWalrus Statistics have shown Fox News to voice opinions/lies than facts twice more than CNN. So both suck, but Fox news should be glad they're the biggest lie out there.
@@IHateUA-camHandlesVeryMuch No they haven't. You need to source that, or I'm calling your bias. CNN has entire compilation videos dedicated to them cutting people off that go against their narrative. MSNBC, NBC, CBS, and Fox combined have less inaccuracies than CNN.
The whole Fox News is more biased perception seems to be based around the opinions of their conservative political commentators, and not the actual information being introduced in news segments.
This is awful! How could airport security just kill these innocent people?
It's the right thing to do. These horrible security lapses must be exposed or even more people may die. I personally knew one of the people on this flight, and as heartbroken as I am over losing Aunt Betty, I couldn't live with myself if I knew that this lax security was allowed to continue.
@@pltatman1 they just murdered 271 people ATLEAST NOT REALLY DETONATE THE BOMB YOU KILLED 271 POEPLE YOU COULD HAVE JUST STOPPED THE BOM BEFORE IT DETONATED AND TO SELL THE PARTS PF OT ALLOWING MORE DAMAGE AFTERWARDS ITS HORRIBLE
@@wolfhunt8400 Water under the bridge. Or people floating under the bridge? I don't know, I'm not good at metaphors.
@@wolfhunt8400 If those people were alive now, they'd be complaining about lax security just like the rest of us. Can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs. Unless you use those eggs that come in the pourable carton. I can't buy that stuff though, it freaks me out.
Brilliant work by those journalists. RIP to all those innocents who died though. Terrible how the TSA security could do something so heinous ❤️ prayers go out to the families.
"American students lead the world in speaking unaccented English" -- Lol.
These reports havent met southerners lol
@@hotstuffwatcher woosh
So, British English? :D
@@SA2004YG nah b u got wooshed
@@Reydrielthe British speak with more of an accent than America does.
it's just a prank, bro.
Social expierment* pranks are dead
The Salt Merchant Two year old comment.
Wreethee Faaangs they we're dead two years ago
The Salt Merchant
Just like all those people on the plane
Wreethee Faaangs
Not intentionally, I don't think I did there.
Wow. The audacity of that lady to make a call from her cell phone mid-flight - risking radio frequency interference that could have adversely affected the plane’s critical systems - is simply obscene. Reckless. She could have killed everyone on board.
Although no one made it out alive, it is good to know these types of reports are being done for the safety of the nation. That airport should be ashamed of themselves to put innocent people at risk. Rip to the brave reporters who died during this trying to make the world a safer place.
"In the *six years* since the tragedy of 911"
That hit so hard...
Tell me about it. I was only 24/25.
@@aaronmarks9366 Nearly everyone was younger then.
@@diyimprover6887 "Nearly" lmao
DIY Improver I want the unaging potion too man
@@aaronmarks9366 In 2007 I was 10.
I really got a Delta ad on this video
First reply after 252 likes and 5 months.
son tang if only dislikes worked
yes cause it has the word plane in the title, thats why you got a delta ad
@@notjered8911 no shit sherlock
It would have been gansta if it had been a Continental ad.
I'm glad TheOnion is focusing on prosecuting the TSA individuals responsible for allowing this tragedy to happen.
RIP to those reporters. True heroes for exposing the lazy, corner cutting TSA and flight attendants. The flight crew got what was coming to them.
"that was our reporter pistol-whiping an innocent passenger" had me ROLLING!!! :D
Reply 11 years later?
@@urielcobo-cuisana2316 reply 3 days later?
@@charteon9092 I’m replying 3 months later
@@miekwavesoundlab 4 hours, up your game
Hi
I love how UA-cam has helpfully labeled this video "No Mature Content".
Thank you so much for exposing the security flaws of TSA's bomb detection procedure. This is the real journalism, Onion. My friend O'Niel is very proud of her wife who was one of the reporters on the plane.
Oh sorry, typo. It's not "my friend," but "my father" rather.
@@kendog84bsc is this a joke?
@@wolfhunt8400 airport security is never a joke.
Your friend's wife is a hero. 14 years later and I can't imagine the lives saved by her.
I used the terrorism to destroy the terrorism.
hamza abid kill em all and let Obama sort them out
My history teacher literally plays onion videos if we finish our work early.
Your teacher seems nice
My old government teacher would show us SNL skits, but the old ones that were actually funny and not the shitty new ones
My old social studies teacher made us read 3 onion articles for class once, and asked us after if we thought anything was weird about them. I wasn't suspicious until the 3rd one that said "90% of Americans don't give a fuck".
@@augustoliver715 you weren’t reading good enough onion articles to not be suspicious just by the title
@@BlackCowboy0 Yeah I think he chose some less suspect ones. I think the last one was pretty suspicious but we were also in like 6th or 7th grade at the time so we were all a little dumb.
This is beyond outrageous!
I hope The Onion sues the government for allowing their reporters to die like that!
This is top notch investigative reporting. In these times of partisan journalism, it is so refreshing to see an unbiased viewpoint. They stayed the course, didn't get caught up in the trivialities of who killed who, and unearthed some serious security lapses. Well done.
A news network that goes the extra mile
My mom used to watch and listen to the onion when i was a kid and I actually thought it was news so I always tuned out. I didn't know my mother had such humor back then. Most of these videos are gold
That’s actually adorable lol. That’s hilarious
She wasn't laughing? Maybe she thought it was real.
@nirvgorilla I find the onion very humorous and entertaining, but I don't neccesarily laugh out loud while watching/ listening. Same with movies/TV. It takes a lot to make most people vocally laugh out loud from media and entertainment
@@br_andn very true. Perhaps it's even just down to the type of comedy you watch; clever jokes are more of a slow burn that you can long after return to in your mind for a bit of enjoyment. Also I think it's so sweet that you remember watching media near/with your mother. I had the same thing with my father who was rather stoic and yet loved watching romcoms like 'I Love Lucy'.
I love how the FAA actually tried something like this (without blowing up planes, ofc) and like 60% of the investigators they used made it through security
cobradragon4373 94%
I think that's the job of the Government Accountability Office. They conduct sting operations to see if government agencies are actually being diligent and doing their jobs.
I can't decide what's more gut busting hilarious, the writing, or the straight faced acting! Excellent formula
Like the passengers on the plane, this never gets old.
My greatest fear is waking up in The Onion news universe but then I realize I might as well be anyways
The depression on his face when he hears the woman getting beat up turning into anger when the other guy accuses security
“Viewers can get a full list of the components on our website.”
That was the best part
Now here is the most important question:
How did they get the pistol on the plane?
They smuggled it inside of the bomb.
@@Twigpi how do you hide the bomb?
The answer is inside the box magazine of your m249 machine gun that they allowed you to take on the flight because it's your "emotional support machine gun". Works every time
It’s America, you can buy pistols as fucking souvenirs at the flight stand
@@isobutyl No you can't buy firearms at an airport, and you can't take firearms onto a plane.
Isaac Bruner I was exaggerating bro, chill Tf out . Also yes you can have firearms on planes, there’s paperwork and licensing for it and you even have to bring it in its own special locked casing to make sure it isn’t tampered with during the flight
"..what you just heard was our reporter pistol whipping...." lost it
And the flight attendants did nothing about it
There was a real case where a TV news magazine show (I forget which one) hired a couple of cute girls to talk their way into being let in a college physics department's nuclear reactor. They wanted to demonstrate the lack of security at these facilities. In one instance, they were allowed to bring a duffel bag in with them, which they left next to the reactor. It could easily have been a bomb.
how could it easily have been a bomb lmao
@@Kushufy You have a brain inside your head. Use it.
@@Kushufy Because a duffel bag is big enough to hide a bomb in; this implies that the duffel bag was not allowed because it did not contain a bomb, but rather that if it did contain a bomb, it could have been brought as well.
theonion/how-to-build-a-bomb
404 / No posts found for this tag
Fix your damn website. I wanted to recreate this experiment, now I guess I'll have to do something else over the weekend.
*nervously laughs*
Don't worry there's plenty of horrible shit to fill your weekend with. There are still plenty of Iraqi hospitals left unbombed, American schools yet unshot, sidewalk-crossing grannies to trip, candies to lace with razor blades, etc. Come on man, get creative! There's plenty of wholesome activities to do with your family.
@@jonathanallard2128 you seem to have all the fun ideas for a family weekend
@@kritishrivastava3602 Yes I have two daughters and we do these very often. It's family bonding time, very wholesome. Audrey is so smart you should see how she found a more subtle way to steal puppies from homeless people without getting caught! She's just so sweet!
I live for these decade old Onion drops into my feed.
A news station working hard to keep all of the rest of us safe from harm in the world. GOD bless the Onion news.
Thanks to these journalists we're safe. This is what real journalism is about. Exposing the truth no matter the cost.
The fact that this starts with "6 years after 9/11" just threw me completely
We will never see journalists like these again
"Viewers can get a full list of components on our website", im fucking dying here
I just love authentic journalism
how kind of these reporters to test the planes durability.
I salute these absolute heroes for exposing these disgusting flaws in airport security.
I feel much safer knowing ONN is around.
This is the kind of investigative reporting we need right now!
Imagine sending this to a friend who’s about to get on a flight...
I love how the title actually fits exactly what is shown There is no flashy clickbait title, just hard, cold, true news.
Never Forget those 3 brave reporters. ✈️
Their colors did not run, and united they stood. 🙏🦅
I'm glad it's from an investigative journalism and not from a real terrorist attack
Going the extra mile to expose the inadequacies of the TSA--I think we can all agree that these undercover reporters are national heroes.
I can appreciate when my favorite news team goes that extra step. It's for our safety y'all
I hope the Onion were compensated generously by the government for the loss of their journalists. Disgraceful.
9/11 Joke in 2020: Yo man too soon...
The Onion 2007:
Sadly the full list of the components were not on their website
Truly saving lives. Thank you
Thank you for keeping us safe with your reporting
The headlines at the bottom are always so great and deserve their own videos: "American students lead the world in speaking unaccented English"
Inside edition has really upped their game
Thanks for the idea! I wasn’t sure how I would do this but now I can thanks to you’re video
Now this is journalism.
This is so shocking. Kudos to the brave reporters for their diligent investigation. I hope the families are doing okay, that Airline should be ashamed
I want to see if www.theonion.com/how-to-build-a-bomb has any funny easter egg articles, but I'm about 80% sure entering that address will have FBI at my house in seconds.
The page you were seeking burned down.
The Cambodian sweatshop where every letter of The Onion is hand-stitched onto the internet recently burned to the ground, claiming the lives of hundreds of underage laborers and webpages. The URL you were looking for was tragically among those lost.
Shocking! 😮
Honestly if reporters committed crimes to show flaws in the system, that would probably solve most our problems.
I Can't think of a name it would get rid of the reporters *and* expose security weaknesses. Two birds with one stone!
In reality it probably wouldn't, the idea behind modern flight security isn't "detect bombs before they get on the flight" it's "jam up the sheer amount of things that really don't do anything but look like they do, so people feel safe. " so they would really just make the equipment more fancy increase checks on people and not introduce new equipment that stops what caused the bombs to be smuggled in the first place. Even if they did get new equipment to stop that bombing, they need to think about other ways we could be attacked and prevent them. Edit: I only thought about this after, how many people have you seen saying something like 'oh whenever I go on flights I get woried that I somehow smuggled a bomb' that means that the airport security is too threating and not even good at what they do anyway.
@@Dnznxbebwushdn I agree but tsa just killed 271 people just NOT DETONATE THE FREAKING BOMB WHAT YOU DID BEFORE WAS ENOUGH TO SHOW AIRLINES LACK PF SECURITY JEUSUS PLEASE TOSS THOSE BASTARDS INTP HELL
John Oliver isn't a real journalist, but he once set up a church called "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" to test how easy it was to start a religious nonprofit and fleece people for money (as televangelists do).
If reporters did that, those Columbian cocaine dealers wont let cameras inside their farms anymore.
I love the old reporter in these videos.
His face when he listens to the passenger getting beat is hilarious!
"That's just chilling" haha
"who by the way was in terrible shape" lol
Cutting edge journalism from the onion once again. Thank God these reporters exposed these security lapses or some real damage could've been done.
"In the six years since 9/11"
How to make me feel old first thing in the morning.
Thanks youtube 👍
Video is corrupted
From another threat, someone re-uploaded a low-res version ua-cam.com/video/kQnidY7_9WM/v-deo.html
Didn't even know that was possible on UA-cam....shit's actually kinda scary
Not anymore
Works fine for me
It is fine!
I always thought Americans’ national debt was from irresponsible government spending. Now I realize it’s from all these lawsuits from courageous investigative journalism.
hi chamuuemura, have you become a flat earther yet?
Thank goodness for those reporters! I feel safer on every flight thanks to them!
That's real journalism right there. True commitment
Such a tragedy. Thank God security has gone up since then. To those lost, R.I.P. To the families who've had to deal with this pain for so long, Godspeed.
It breaks my heart to read new comments eating the onion and replies going "Woosh" and "Its a joke"
Such a disgusted display of unintelligible people, spitting on the sacrifice the ONN reporters gave. To open the eyes of all Americans to the disatisfactory and poor security measures of the TSA. Thanks to the onion we are safer than ever.
God bless America and her g@ys.
These are the same folk who tell people about their own surprise birthday parties
Priceless !
So, UA-cam *_does_* have a sense of humor to put this in with my "Recommended" videos after what just happened...
Well, that plane was not technically destroyed by a bomb
2020 is so freaking bad that I can literally not for the life of me remember what happened when this was posted
@@AMalas same
@@AMalas apparently a plane was shot down in iran :(
@@AMalas just here in the future to remind ya that 2021 aint much better
Great job guys, i feel much safer with reporters like this around, uncovering security lapses like this.
This one hits close to home. I live nearby and could’ve been killed
Chilling.
I've gotten past American security before. They confiscated one bottle from my bag because it might have a harmful liquid, but didn't check again to see if that's all I had. Luckily for them, my second bottle was cola. I drank it on the flight.
😂😂😂. I knew that apart from derailing trains to prove lack of safety there must be more than that.
Wasn't expecting them to mention my hometown's airport, I fly through that one every year now 0_o Hopefully the great work of these journalist helped them make it more secure!
This is gold.
What a great The Onion video!
To be fair, this is pretty accurate to the actual performance of TSA
OMG I miss this content. It's extremely funny & well produced to be made to look low budget & serious. Kudos
Thank goodness
UA-cam recommendations have a very strange sense of humor.
Now this is proper journalism
Explosive revelations.
Thanks for keeping us safe, The Onion!
Another hard-hitting piece from the onion, much like the way the plane hit the ground hard after plummeting for several minutes at high speed. I'm glad the onion is able to keep us safe with pieces like this.
The onion, where I can watch videos that are 12 years old and still chuckle, and fear for the future.
Say what you will, that's some dedicated reporting
My first trip on a plane and I got selected for a ‘random’ search.
That was obviously rather nerve-racking.
I’ve been waiting for this sequel a long time...
You can’t report for playback issue. It’s like UA-cam only cares if it’s offensive or not.