oh OH ohhhhhhhh... oh man ohhh man i erm i guess i do have.. a lot of trauma, mainly cptsd or what you call it concidering its mostly through long term experiences amd situations i am so heavily distrusting of people. i assume classmates would use any info of me against me and just are there to be friends to make fum of me. or the fear of being too open abt my struggles due to worrying they will grow tired of me causs my parents would oftenly value their emotions first when im at my lowest aloota things man, a lot..
@@foxliasgriffinYT It's trauma stacked on top of trauma and once you've been traumatized it makes you more likely to be traumatized more. Humans are kind of like chickens - once one of them draws blood the others will peck it to death. Same with sharks, same with mammals, which tend to hunt in packs. Neurotypical behavior in a nutshell. They're like copy machines with no real mind of their own and go by whatever is popular, by what others do.
This makes me think back to a quote I saw: "we can't distinguish autistic behaviour from trauma because our current society produces no un-traumatised autistic people"
As an autistic person myself, watching a fellow my age getting their shit together so well is very motivating. Thank you Morgan for sharing some important message out there!
I was so confused when other autistic people said they don't want to be perceived. But then I thought about how much we get criticized and it makes sense. Being perceived often leads to criticism.
I'm so conflicted, I'm auDHD too, I love being around ppl, and I'm one of 7 children in our family, so I was always around ppl. But I really do want ppl (especilally the family) to notice that I'm different in a pretty big way. If someone else is in the house, I 100% feel like I should probably not leave my room till they're gone, but that's the part of me I want them to notice :( So in response to your comment @catlily5, I want them to perceive that I'm not the same as them, but not to critisize me for it. Is that similar to what you were saying?
If everyone is walking around with a feather duster sticking out of their butt, you'd best get yourself a feather duster, too, and act like it's the most natural thing in the world.
@@smizmar8I felt that too, and then got kicked out of the house by my stepmother. It might not be the same or as dramatic for you, but that doesn't mean it's any less valid. I wish you luck and Light. 💜
This is so relatable! It's really validating to hear another autistic person talk about struggling with being perceived even for something as simple as walking through a room where people can see you and judge you.
[Please don’t see me, please don’t see me.] ‘Hey dude, where you going?’ [Dammit!] ‘Uh no where important, gotta get there quickly though.’ >encounter music intensifies in my mind
As an autistic person, I’m definitely in touch with my trauma. I watch the street channels, like Soft White Underbelly. I can never believe it, when people who make money in the sex industry, on Skid Row, deny having experienced any trauma, in childhood. A lot of people think it takes experiencing horrendous abuse, or witnessing something horrific to be traumatic. And most street people HAVE gone through extreme abuse or neglect, which is also traumatic. Going to sleep and waking up somewhere else, and realizing my parents had picked me up and carried me off was traumatic, when I was a little kid! I’ve been through foster care, life on the streets and all that myself, as a teen and adult, worked in shelters, and am studying in the recovery field, or I wouldn’t speak on it. Just interacting with adults and rooms full of neurotypical kids was traumatic, though, even before life got tough! ❤
You're my favorite creator in autism topics. It's pretty funny to me how we've got pretty much 0 common interests and hobbies but when I comes to autism, you're the person that more accurately describes the experiences I have, like we've fallen super super close in the spectrum. Thank you for posting videos, they really help me put things into words
Hi Morgan, I'm an (almost) 80 y/o living in the UK and have just self-assessed as autistic (waiting for a clinical diagnosis). I had not associated autism with PTSD, but your vlog has given me some thoughts about how it may have affected my life, and that I can use this when discussing treatment. Thank you for your openness and the way that it can help others.
It’s so awesome that you got diagnosed! You’re never too old to learn how to manage your symptoms! ❤. I’m going to tell my mom. She had said she is sure she won’t “get any better, now.” She is only 77!
summer does me dirty. I thrive in the cold. when it's hot and bright I just want to stay inside. cold and cloudy is when I love life, but it still conflicts with my actual psychological needs, so I have minor depression almost year-round excluding fall and early spring.
You are my tribe! ❤ same here! I absolutely live autumn, I can breathe better on slightly rainy days, I feel excited with days getting darker early. Summer makes me anxious and nervous. My therapist told me once she read sonewhere summer is yang and winter is yin. Yang is energetic but it is a bit like overdosing caffeine, instead of energy you are just trembling and your heart goes crazy. I can't stay well focused and calm on summer. Autumn and winter feels like a safe shelter. Very cosy. I get a lot of healthy energy from cokd showers or swimming in autumn and winter.... and I can't wait for sunny days to come back 😭 when they come back, I am nervous and trembling again.
lol this is scary accurate to my life experiences xD early-mid spring is the best! good sun for vitamin d, but not too much like during summer. also perfect weather, not too cold, not too hot. its amazing
I have POTS and so 80 degrees F is when I start feeling bad. I love when it gets cold. It's nice to remember that we are all different about heat and light and sleep and that's because we're pack animals who take care of each other. ❤ But yeah, being alone as an autistic is THE BEST.
This is so validating! After years of "useless" therapy, I naturally started being drawn to a therapy forms like EMDR, because I felt I couldn't think/talk my way out of my mental health problems the way therapists wanted me too. But still the standard advised therapy for ADHD and Autism is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which relies heavily on doing homework and "arresting your thoughts", and I personally find this is catered towards neurotypicals who are able to consistently do homework assignments. I often got into arguments with therapists, because I really pushed for EMDR. They finally gave in, and they were super amazed at how "fast" I "recovered" from negative thinking, doomerism, anxiety, etc.... Now I now my intuïtion was on the right track, because it was all C-PTST... I highly recommend looking for therapists who are licenced in body focused trauma therapy, there are many forms.
"because I felt like I couldn't think/talk my way out of my mental health problems" I feel that way. I've been diagnosed with emotional disorders/depression/anxiety/bpd, but I wonder if there's something else going on. I've been doing therapy for years and I still severely struggle. I wonder if I need a different plan/treatment
@@emielyns Find the right therapist and psychiatrist for you. Too many times, people stick with their shitty ones. I went through, like, six or seven before finding the right ones.
CPTSD is what it says on the tin - complex. It's repeated events, big or small, that coalesce into a monster of an anxiety disorder. Abvse is not the only thing that could cause it - losses, accidents, bullying, instability (home/financial/etc) are all things that disturb a young mind, especially a neurodivergent one. You don't need to have been outright victimized or have had a "typical" traumatic incident in order to develop trauma. Impostor syndrome is also normal even for those who have experienced abvse and the like. Don't discount your own trauma, it is just as valid and just as life-altering as anyone else's, even if it comes from a different source or even just a different way of processing the world. Thank you for sharing your experiences ❤️ And try not to doubt your right to feel how you feel.
Ive always found it really difficult to explain my cptsd to non-autistics. They often don't understand that im not exaggerating when i say that no adults believed me when i tried to get help for the cartoonishly horrific organized bullying i was enduring. Eventually i stopped seeking help and started self harming. When i was 7. I wanted to die every day. No one should live like that, let alone a young child. But that was my reality for many years, and now i am an adult with an A Series of Unfortunate Events tattoo.
Yeah my mom literally tried to kill me and no one believed me. Adults just stared at me blankly every time I begged for help. I definitely am victimized by the “autistic behavior sure looks like lying to me” neurotypical perception. It never got better but it did get quieter. At least I don’t have to live with people I don’t want to anymore.
For financial reasons, I've always had a roommate of some sort. Whether it was a partner, a friend, or strangers, living with others is still very difficult regardless. Even as you mentioned about being perceived going from one room to the next. The best experience I ever had was when I was teaching in Seattle and I rented a quiet room in a really sweet, quiet couple's basement. I had my own exit and didn't feel like I ever had to "deal" with anyone else. It was magic! I hope you get to experience a bunch of that freedom. Regardless, this is a great excuse for you to recognize what situations and times you feel most perceived or even happiest just being alone. Then, even when others are around, maybe you can carve out creative ways to not feel so perceived. I tend to change my schedule when I can or make appointments on days I know folks are going to be home. clearly not a solution for most things...but I can definitely relate.
I insist on sleeping in different rooms but never had the balls to ask for that. Your boyfriend sounds like a dream! I was in therapy when I was asked to describe my perfect home. I proceeded to describe the following: A deserted island with details about how far from civilization and impossible to get to it would be, a brief, minimal description of the house - basically structure with a roof and windows and doors, then a long description of the moat/wall/sky high hedges surrounding the house. But what about the people? What about them? Well, you have family and a boyfriend you profess to love, where are they in this home? Oh they're not in the house. No? They're not even in a boat on the way to the island.
The link between autism and PTSD resonates SO MUCH with me. I thought I was crazy and felt guilty for having trauma for so long, and then this video came along and validated and explained everything so well. Thank you, Morgan!
I really love your crocheted tops! I used to own a small handmade crochet and knit business. I can appreciate the craftsmanship! ❤ Thank you for making these videos. My adult children are on the autism spectrum and I recently was diagnosed myself. It all makes so much sense! Ah you do make your own lovely tops!! ❤😁
"Bring an autistic person in the world wr live in is traumatic" YES THANK YOU, im riddiculed by anyone neurotypical (even my friemd who is a doctor) qhwn I say Infeel like I have ptsd, because i had "good childhood" This is so hurtfull bc im deeply traumatized :c and not even psychologist will see that, because they just ask were y9u r4ped ? Did you survuve a near death expirience? And stuff like that
I have Autism too and my sleeping is my enemy. If my routine gets thrown off completely and I have to change my plans I can't function. Like today I had to stay home because we are in a heatwave and if I don't get out and do anything at all I'm forced to nap. And then nothing gets done so I feel guilty about napping. It's a vicious cycle.
I have heard that marriage is a gift just as singleness is also a gift, but the one who remains single will do better. I live alone and totally understand the feedom you are speaking about. Enjoyed your video and thank you very much for the share.
I believe my little girl is on the spectrum, we are working through her speech delay. We are at a stage where I know she knows the words to communicate and just doesn't. As a parent I have to say that this is so heartbreaking, not being able to understand/provide what your child needs.. and simultaneously frustrating that you cannot remedy the situation. She is progressing everyday. This was very insightful as I catch myself wanting to push her to speak.. or move past meltdown points. Thank you
I have cptsd, and don’t find out until I was 36. My lived experience though it made sense. Now at 42 I’m finally understanding autism and that I am highly likely in that spectrum, and how that factored in to my ptsd. Sadly I always thought it was just a combination of me being too much and having trauma from an abusive relationship I endured as a young woman. I am homeschooling both my kids, in large part because we know at least one of them is audhd and I do not want either of them having the horrible experiences I did in school. I am so thankful to see young people like you Morgan, talking about these things, and creating the kind of culture and world around us that I want my kids living in.
That’s so cool! I, also, homeschooled one of my kids, because of his ADHD, but since I found out I’m autistic, I think my child may be both. He has always had social anxiety, and has consistently tested as gifted, as well. I was in gifted programs, as a child, as well as being tracked into, “Friendhip Group.” If you haven’t been, Friendship Group is a pull-out program for kids who have difficulty with social skills. And none of the teachers who sent me to both classes thought of autism, as a possibility? Hello 👋! I’m about your age, though, so it figures. People didn’t have as much information then, as they do now. My mom never even took me to a doctor, if I could get up and walk around. 😂. This approach was typical, back then. ❤
I dont know if I have autism. You are making me think that I have autism because of how similar we are ❤. But i HATE beaches. Its the sand...😅. It just overwhelms me 😢
Calendar Tip: I got a bunch of magnets and put 2 calendars on my fridge: one big, one small-ish. The bigger calendar shows the events (bills, etc.) of the current month, while the smaller one is on the next month.
Am so glad I am finally getting an answer to this because, as I am getting older, my autism symptoms are getting worse, so I am glad I am not the only one
6:35 A thing about being an adult, all this stuff is learned skill . It takes a lot longer for people who are neurodivergent to grasp the concept, how to negotiate and navigate the environment . It's worse if they've been traumatized because it slows the ability for them to competently be able to move forward with grievances. And in my opinion, knowledge of understanding how law works in their favor, actually helps neurodivergent minds focus on the task at hand to ease suffering of the individuals who fear the outdoors when engaging with the public .
Hi from Maine! I started following you on Instagram a while back, but didn't realize we are new england neighbors. Cool, congrats on the movem and thank you for the educational and awesome content!!!
Omg there should be an autism community event in New England. That's like a summer/fall travel spot! I'd love watching a video about it, so heartwarming, right?
Morgan, I just wanted to say how incredibly much I appreciate your videos. I’ve never EVER felt like I had anyone else in this world I could relate to so much, and all of the content you make I’m like “omg she gets me!” Thank you so much! I feel so validated and way less alone.
5:50 it's Narcissisic abuse... Like u said, easily subjected to verbal abuse. In America, there is this thing called the fist amendment, and the 5 liberties to the fist amendment. One of those liberties is the RIGHT to free 🦅 speech. This does not mean the RIGHT to abuse free speech, to acosta individuals because a person feels empowered to do so for whatever agenda they feel they possess . There is a limit to free 🦅 speech , and hella lot more to it than that.. understanding the law, helps ppl who r neurodivergent, to fight individuals who abuse their God given inalienable RIGHT to life, because of how they feel .. like for instance verbal abuse, being accosted in public, or in a privet setting without knowing how the limitation of how free speech works, can actually empower the abused by understanding how the limitation of free speech works, ppl who r neurodivergent are more sensitive to free 🦅 speech than a neurotypical individual, in America that's a big deal. The best option is to remove yourself from this toxic environment immediately to avoid abuse .. But there is a but here . Knowing the law will help with justification in fighting individuals who abuse the law .. and that fear is real with ppl who r neurodivergent. .. Ill give u a real world 🌍🌎 example of how ppl who r neurodivergent and easily subjected to Narcissisic abuse from neurotypical individuals . Just going to a fast food restaurant to get something to eat is a headache in its self if the order is screwed up and a neurodivergent individual has to deal with an abusive staff that will not fix the problem they wronged to begin with.. as little as that might seem small it's not when a staff member makes it's difficult because of how they feel regardless of mental problems.. the fear of getting into a heated argument of any kind in a privet setting open to the public means understanding how the law works..and the justification u have in grievance. Ppl who r neurodivergent whom have suffered, will have a real hard time negotiating this environment and will easily become overwhelmed and hostile... I definitely do not need a study to tell what I know. . it's the lack of respect for law.
Thank you for saying that. 2 days ago I said to someone that me being is exhausting itself. I hate being, everything hurts! Sensory issues, being constantly overwhelned, misunderstood, rejected, afraid to gonout and talk to people, afraid to behave naturally, I feel physical pain because of emotional and mental overload. And my friend said she loves to live. But she is not ND and is very healthy (I have severe chronic illness and recurring migraines)
As a mom of an autistic son I very much value your videos. So much of what you post resonates with what I see with my son. I’m wondering if you could do some posts about what you think would be best approaches as parents for helping our kids with the challenges you speak about. Thank you for doing what you are doing.
Ooohhh, I did a business trip to Dallas once, and had to be outside a lot at 110F. My sympathies! Yeah, 76 is where I start overheating. I tolerate low 80s better than I did when I was younger, but still. And I’ve always found sunny days too bright, these days I were brimmed caps whenever I go outside. On the other hand, I’m in the Northesst like Morgan, and I don’t like winter either.
I’m autistic and I like when it’s cool. I love snow. ❄️ . I just can’t stand being hot 🥵! I don’t like bright sun 🌞, either. I am happy for those who do, though!
@@sciencenotsrigma I feel like there are just two types of autistic people. The ones who like the cold and the ones who like the warmth. I'm happy you like the cold and feel good during that winter. For me it's a nightmare, I'm constantly cold, because my body is unable to keep me warm.
@@katzenlady5339 That makes sense! We all have sensory issues in common, but our sensory triggers can be very different. With weather, I always figured it had a lot to do with what you’re acclimated to, but I was born in California. I only lived there until I was 3. I remember I could actually see wavy lines in the air, from the heat. I had a little plastic car to ride in, but I didn’t like that I had to push it with my feet, because the ground was too hot. I remember my mom saying the ground was hot enough to fry an egg on, and I wanted to see if that was true, or if that was just one of those inaccurate things grown-up say, but I didn’t know where to find an egg. I remember asking, “Can you, really?” Of course, I got a laugh and a vague answer. I was not a happy baby! Nothing made much sense. The sun hurt my eyes, but I loved my grandma’s bright, floral sundresses. That is my style, to this day, weird or not, in the Midwest. The first time I saw a heavy snowfall, I was confused. The snowbanks were so tall, I couldn’t see how to get from the house to the car. My mom said to follow the shoveled path, and I just had to trust her. It felt like a corn maze, where they plow paths in cornfields that are taller than your head, and you have to find your way out. I loved being cozy in my snowsuit, hat, and mittens, though. It could very well be that there are (at least) two types! Some of my family love temperate weather, where it’s neither hot or cold. As for my love of winter, I think it’s partly because I’m allergic to everything, and the freeze 🥶 gets rid of all the allergens. I feel dramatically better, then. With climate change, we’ve had fewer months like that, and all the wet weather makes it hard to breathe. I wish I could move to Canada or Sweden, sometimes!
@@katzenlady5339 That makes sense! We all have sensory issues in common, but our sensory triggers can be very different. With weather, I always figured it had a lot to do with what you’re acclimated to, but I was born in California. I only lived there until I was 3. I remember I could actually see wavy lines in the air, from the heat. I had a little plastic car to ride in, but I didn’t like that I had to push it with my feet, because the ground was too hot. I remember my mom saying the ground was hot enough to fry an egg on, and I wanted to see if that was true, or if that was just one of those inaccurate things grown-up say, but I didn’t know where to find an egg. I remember asking, “Can you, really?” Of course, I got a laugh and a vague answer. I was not a happy baby! Nothing made much sense. The sun hurt my eyes, but I loved my grandma’s bright, floral sundresses. That is my style, to this day, weird or not, in the Midwest. The first time I saw a heavy snowfall, I was confused. The snowbanks were so tall, I couldn’t see how to get from the house to the car. My mom said to follow the shoveled path, and I just had to trust her. It felt like a corn maze, where they plow paths in cornfields that are taller than your head, and you have to find your way out. I loved being cozy in my snowsuit, hat, and mittens, though. It could very well be that there are (at least) two types! Some of my family love temperate weather, where it’s neither hot or cold. As for my love of winter, I think it’s partly because I’m allergic to everything, and the freeze 🥶 gets rid of all the allergens. I feel dramatically better, then. With climate change, we’ve had fewer months like that, and all the wet weather makes it hard to breathe. I wish I could move to Canada or Sweden, sometimes!
So I am not diagnosed with autism or PTSD, but that all makes sense and it is so traumatizing and some things are just so traumatizing for me that are like sitcom for people for example cars I get over 130 heart rate whenever I’m in a car ball and I can’t explain
Whether or not you’re autistic, I think it’s unfair that society thinks it can define which events cause “significant trauma,” or not. No one should minimize anyone’s experience of trauma! I mean, being born is traumatic, do we all (or almost all) come into this world with trauma. ❤
I feel creepy watching your videos bc I’m 38 but emotionally I feel like I’m still a teenager. I feel like I can relate to so much you say. Thank you for sharing. I promise I’m not really a creepy person I just feel like I’ve never been able to relate to someone so much
I'm 42 and waiting to get my "legit" diagnosis. The trauma thing is real. What people don't get is that all trauma hits us at the root of our existence. Where we are deep down to our marrow. When there's a fundamental disconnect between you and the rest of the world, that's a fundamental vulnerability. A soft bone, as it were, with the marrow all vulnerable and extra squishy. Assault is a violation of the body and space. That's traumatic. People can get that. But having social violations? People don't see that as valid because to them, they aren't vulnerable there. So they don't get it. Oh those people were just (insult). Brush it off. Like no. You can't. Because it hit your marrow. That shit hurts.
Hey Morgan, thank you so much for making these videos, I appreciate them so much. I think I might be autistic because of a few things I have experienced, and a bunch of things you have said that I relate to. I’m nervous to tell someone cause I feel I will seem disrespectful or attention-seeking. Anyways, if you could please post that TikTok on UA-cam as a short. I don’t have TikTok and it would mean a lot. Thank you so much, you are such an inspiration to me!❤❤❤❤
I feel exactly the same way, I talked to my mom about my questions and she instantly said « of course you’re not autistic it’s not possible, a lot of people are like that and it doesn’t mean they’re autistic » and ever since I feel like she’s judging everything I say about autism like I’m not in the right place at all or like I’m just looking for attention
@@chaotic7cam maybe it just means they need to be reassured it’s not their fault and to be told why it happens and how… communication is so important I don’t think we should just get rid of someone that doesn’t get something that was not explained. But of course if they keep dismissing feelings it can become toxic
Went through brutal spankings and even grabbed by the throat as a child, sxxxcide thoughts and attempt at 19 and was revived, then went to the marines. Life full of trauma and PTSD. If I was diagnosed as a child life would have been different.
Super fundaments Christian parents that were raised to use pain for punishment. Worst environment for a over stimulated autistic child could possibly imagine. Generational trauma
Really fascinating stuff to hear about. I'm in the unusual position of being a pretty untraumatised autistic - I have this odd aphantasia linked thing called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory, which basically has the effect that I'm kinda immune to the impacts of trauma. Happens because my memory isn't really able to hold on to my past well enough for it to effect me that way. But I really appreciate people discussing their (C)PTSD because it's something a lot of the people I care most about have to deal with, so I'd like to understand. So yeah, thank you.
That is interesting. Amanda from I Am Mindblind also has aphantasia and SDAM. She has talked about trauma, but I haven’t watched that video so I’m not sure what her conclusions about herself are. I can see ways in which it could happen, as part of the difficulty with PTSD is that memories are stored in the amygdala, and are apparently separate from and inaccessible to regular memory. That might or might not bypass SDAM for classic life threatening trauma, though I bet it would tend to prevent CPTSD, which involves cumulative triggers.
I feel like it's not so much that it's "easier" for us to be traumatized, so much as it is that we're going through the same things that would traumatize other people, just that the people who are doing it to us don't realize it's traumatizing. To elaborate, constantly being misunderstood or misconstrued, told that what you're feeling isn't valid or doesn't matter, and constantly being told that they're the abuser if they try to defend themselves if done to a neurotypical would be considered gaslighting. If a neurotypical person had to deal with almost everyone they know in their life gaslighting them without even having a reason as to why, of course that person's going to be traumatized and have a hard time trusting anyone. Especially if on top of that they also have to keep up impossibly high standards on a day-to-day basis if they don't want to face more of it. But if this is done to an autistic person, this is just considered "normal".
Well, yes. One of my number one triggers is not getting the response I expected. I will note that this may be a mix of people not understanding what I am saying, and my misinterpreting their response. I have no good way to tell one from the other, but it’s an example of the double empathy problem either way. I don’t think I had any capital T Trauma as a child either, but part of my deal with taking things hard is my nervous system. I was a fearful child, and my overactive fight or flight response has a lot to do with my mother having the same. I would have been born with a predisposition to high levels of stress hormones via prenatal exposure to her high levels. This is an established mechanism, and I cannot say if it is directly connected to my autism; as a phenomenon it can certainly stand alone, and is sometimes referred to as inter generational trauma. It can go back multiple generations, and in fact I can cite events in my maternal great grandmother’s life that could have started the ball rolling. So is it autism related for me? I don’t know. I think there is some research that suggests that at least some autistic people may have unusually large amygdalas, but of course I’m autistic and mine is probably a bit hefty...but is it causation or correlation?
I have the same problem with moving or just changing jobs or routine. I'm usually excited for the change, but seem to struggle about three months afterward. However, it usually resolves itself within a year. Also, regarding the trauma, you also get a lot of people who tell you that you're being too dramatic. I've had a lot of reasons to have trauma, but I'm frequently told to "get over it" or "it wasn't THAT bad." People are so dismissive of everything I say or do. And, I agree with you, living alone is the best solution for some autistics. People tell me to get roommates to help with the bills, but I tell them I literally can't live with someone. We had a lot of domestic violence in our household when I was younger. I don't want to create a situation where that might happen again.
You are so pretty! You look like Morena Baccarin. Thanks for making interesting informative videos. I see where you're going with the new dresser and it's going to look dope!
I don’t know if I’m autistic, im not autistic at all but I keep seeing your videos and makes me question lol, I keep on masking people lik copying what people do and copying their personalities when I’m with them I think everyone does that, I use their vocabulary like “biggo” I think that means fat but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or something, but I haven’t had a melt down I just vocabulary shut dow, lol my grammar and spelling is bad I’m sorry
Love your channel is very helpful and knowledgeable on so many aspects of those of us in the community and how we struggle and strive. Can anyone provide any info on said study in your video. Super validating. Same I also knew this in myself in my mind and body. And so many on the outisde didnt get it or belive us. This new study, new info can really help so many. Blessings.
Wow, You are really good at painting this drawers, kreative AND accurate. I first thaught You put some designed paper on the first that I saw in the back. Good job and nice to here You are fine😊 Ah, and another thing: yes, I went to heavy trauma, am surviver of crime/abuse. And AuDHD. And never ever I would think someone elses trauma is "less". In my experience this comes from outside people. Please don't listen if someone dares to tell You!
The trauma thing is a real struggle. I spent most of my life (48) trying to figure out why I was so screwed up despite not having any "real" trauma. I even went back to school for counseling psychology!! Tons of therapy. Nothing really helped or made sense until I figured out more recently that I am AuDHD. Feels like such a waste of life. The back and forth burn out eventually led me to a Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, so there's no healing the lifelong trauma damage at this point. I am so glad that you have been able to figure this all out earlier in life. And I have the fear of being perceived thing! This explains so much! No one ever understood this so I stopped trying to talk about it with anyone... Thanks for sharing your experience. So helpful for me. Best wishes to you Morgan.
@@XaltaTarot-qs2hc yes, thank you for the encouragement. UA-cam and books have been priceless on this journey and she's one of my favorites. But I just found out about Dr. Devon Price's book on masking. Excited to get it. Best wishes.
I have been doing tons of research on autoimmune illnesses because my daughter got very sick a few years ago. They are reversible in some cases. At the very least, they can be reduced. MS isn't the end. I just wanted to give you some hope that this diagnosis doesn't necessarily have to be your life from now on.
@@gwennyrj thank you. That is very sweet. I am well versed in autoimmune issues, because my late husband had Lupus and died from complications (mostly from the medication, but combined with the disease. It tends to be more aggressive in males). Autoimmune issues became a hyper focus. I even went back to school for health coaching after my experience with him, but I was already on my way to health issues because of the stress of living with his health issues and then his death. After my first neurological flare I changed my diet, treated chronic infections, worked on gut health, tried to reduce stress and more. Eventually back to school for counseling. I was able to hold the MS off for 12 years, but stress caught up with me. The last flare caused permanent damage to my dominant hand. Unfortunately, I have had some extremely stressful life experiences that were out of my control and stress is definitely a big contributor to MS and other autoimmune diseases. Not understanding that I was/am AuDHD made it all worse, of course. I am a high masker which I believe is one of the reasons I am in this predicament. I am now on a good disease modifying drug for the MS and so the chance of any further flares are low, but the myelin damage is done. Plus I am now forever immune compromised. So I am no longer working or doing anything around people as I am a huge candidate for long haul C given my history. So life has gotten pretty small. Not sure what your daughter is dealing with, but diet, gut health and stress management are key and something most regular MDs will never discuss. Best wishes to you both. 🤗
Yay a new vlog! I really appreciate how open you are with how things have been going. Something that you may want to consider if you need a calendar is to get a really big white board. I have a big white board in my room facing my bed and I have 2/3s of it with my weekly schedule of work and school and such, and the other 1/3 has my to do list for the week with everything that needs to get done by the end of the week. I also love it cuz I get to use different color markers on the board itself, and it’s so satisfying to cross off or erase something from my to do list once it’s done. Plus it’s way easier to remember to do things when there’s a giant colorful sign staring at you in your room reminding you to do them.😅
I am still debating between a big paper one to lay flat on my desk or hang up a big white board one!! you might have convinced me on the white board hahah
@@morgaanfoley I personally don’t like paper desk ones cuz I feel like I can’t use my desk then cuz I worry I’ll mess it up. Or if I place something on the desk and now it’s accidentally covering some projects or event I had, then I might forget it. So I prefer wall white boards so that they won’t get in the way of anything and I can see it right when I wake up. But obviously everyone’s got a different preference and might need a different accommodation. But that’s what works best for me. 🙂
@@morgaanfoley. I prefer paper, because when I put thought into something, I don’t like erasing it. I am autistic and in recovery from a Substance Use Disorder. At treatment, they had us do an exercise where we wrote down our history, from our childhood experiences to our first use of substances, through the progression of our disorder, until the events that brought us to treatment. Then, they had us erase it, to represent a new start. I was like, “What? I have written most of a book, here. I would like to publish it, or at least give it to my children, when they are grown.” Lol! Thankfully, I had made notes and a timeline, so I survived. I guess the whiteboard vs. paper question just depends on what works best for you!
@@miaknight2818. I feel the same way…afraid I would mess it up! That’s why I use a weekly planner, with individual days of the week, and the hours of the day pre-printed. As a visual, I have a magnetic weekly goals list. I also write everything on a calendar. I love writing ✍️ things on paper! I think it helps me remember more than an e-calendar, especially the stuff I can see, as a visual reminder. ❤
@@sciencenotsrigma Yikes, that sounds heartbreaking being told it was time to throw all that work away. I’m glad you had back ups of your notes and I hope other parts of your recovery treatment were more helpful and comforting
I am diagnosed PTSD. I have medically defined trauma resulting in a mental injury of PTSD. It results in significant impairment for me. Are you diagnosed with cPTSD by a clinician? The study you linked was conducted on mice. Doubt that has much validity transferring to humans.
I’m struggling to know if I’m autistic or not because a lot of stuff is so relatable and at the same time other things are not, or are a little but not that much… so… yeah anyway I love watching your videos they’re easy to understand as a non native english speaker and I love the calm, the way you talk, the way the videos are organized, it’s so cool!
Don’t forget…Morgan is AuDHD. I’m “just” autistic. I can relate to some of her experiences and not others, as well. I usually relate to more specific examples of creators who are only diagnosed with autism, or autism, plus the co-occurring disorders I also have. I still relate to at least half of the examples Morgan gives, and I recognize many others, because my mom and one of my kids have ADHD. I also watch channels of other “just autistic” people, and I don’t have some things in common with some of them. For example, my “safe foods” differ greatly from other people’s, sometimes. If you want to find out if you’re autistic, that’s reason enough to pursue testing! I wish you luck 🍀, and great experiences in self-discovery! ❤
@@sciencenotsrigma yeah I know she’s not only autistic… but since I’ve been wondering I did a lot of research about autism and there are things that are very common for autistic people that I don’t really relate to or that were a problem for me before but became easy to live with, like some problems disappeared after working on them or after getting used to them and I don’t know if that’s « possible » in autism… like maybe things are meant to stay a lifetime? I don’t know I’m so lost right now… there is also all the social part that wasn’t present in my childhood but I started being very very shy from 7-8 yo and then socializing with people my age became so hard at 12 even though it wasn’t hard at all before But thank you for your answer ❤️
@@AubeEclatante usually not writing comments on here, but I thought I'd love answers/further input like this myself, so here we go. I think everyone, autistic or not, is able to learn how their environment works and adapt to it at least in parts. Even when your understanding of the world differs from others, you'll still adapt as best as you can and learn to live with it, since you can't change much about that. About the socializing thing, for me that makes sense. Firstly, young children generally tend to be very direct and literal, which kind of helps in communication if you're somewhere on the spectrum. But you'll still experience moments where you feel you're not really understood, and they begin to pile up with the years. Meanwhile, getting a little older, puberty starting etc, communication changes, there's suddenly things kids don't want to talk completely openly about, social lives and life in general becomes more complex and thus, a lot of subtext enters conversations. Also, everyone is trying to figure out who they are or who they want to become, and a lot of that happens by putting others on the spot, "test" and label people, and sadly, exclude kids who seem to be different or some kind of weird. That's when communication becomes harder and harder over time, so your experience might be related to that. That said, I'm not a professional and these are just my thoughts and observations. But I think it's always worth it to look into questions like whether you're neurodivergent, because if you are, knowing about it will greatly improve your life! ❤
I have 3 members in my family that are autistic (one of them is my brother) I love your videos cuz now I stop thinking "oh there just dramatic" but now I know that I have to be more understanding so thanks! 👍
I love your videos, especially about being an autistic teenager into young adulthood. So many of your stories bring back these happy memories of being in school and the wacky stories that happened (I was a wacky extroverted autist when young). I am almost 40 and was late diagnosed at 30. Growing up, autism in girls was unheard of and CPTSD didn't exist. PTSD was for war-level trauma only. So many of your videos have made me re-contextualize my teenage years and behavior. I actually developed PTSD from a high school break-up and nobody back then understood the symptoms and it was misdiagnosed for 6 years. It shaped the trajectory of my young adult life. Raising awareness about this now for younger autists is so important! Re: the PTSD study stuff, I did a deep dive into some neurology when I was in my late 20s (basically I got frustrated at doctors not knowing what was physically wrong so I got my genome sequenced, etc. lol). They have found that autists have mutations in how they metabolize neurotransmitters, and I have the one that causes me to metabolize norepinephrine slower than traffic in Nashua. ;D. I think there is a link to how fast a person clears these neurotransmitters during acute distress/trauma and whether PTSD develops. If you're interested there are articles about MTHFR that indicate this. It makes me so happy so to see a fellow autist making their way in the world and sharing how we navigate it. Thank you for the video shorts too-- I've literally had to share a few with my family even at this age so they have that Aha! moment. Also, many head pats to the Royal Hot Doggo in the background. Best of luck with the move to New Hampshire!
I have an Alexa device and it announces that it's time for me to take my pill. It announces it at certain specific times of the day, to remind me. I've found it useful for me.
I'm not sure that autism is a factor, if what was done to me, was done to a "normal" person, that person would be WORSE off than me. If anything being AuDHD means I can handle a lot more trauma than a "normal" person. I do the leg wibbling thing, people constantly tell me that it's wrong or annoying or whatever. That chips off a little of my mental health every time it's done and the wound never heals if it happens over and over. That is complex PTSD... I'm now afraid to wibble my leg and can't stim at all. The reason why autism is in conflict with reality is that what is considered a "good" life for someone "normal" harms us. I'm harmed from going to school, I'm harmed from all kinds of family activity, I'm harmed from due having the wrong body language... I'm harmed by "normal" people trying to push "normal tyranny" onto me.
Yeah it can be very interesting how that trauma thing works. I used to do the leg thing too, it was my stimming thing, and I was constantly told to stop as a kid when it was a soothing gesture. I never do it anymore bc of what they said, but I want to start trying again because it is soothing. Meanwhile, I was framed for something I didn’t do by my sister and spent 3 nights in jail on su*cde watch all alone behind a glass wall (with nothing but a velcro ‘dress’) until my mom got me out. Was it traumatizing at the time? Yeah. But honestly I have no problem discussing it. I just kinda feel detached (maybe slightly uneasy) like what happened happened. Just stating facts out loud at this point. It surprised me this non-chalonce because I’m a pretty sensitive person. I’m sure another autistic person would be a lot more scarred but for some reason I’m not. I do have PTSD from the family court case that got my sisters (wrongly) taken away though. Over 10 years ago and I still can’t stop having flashbacks.
I’m experiencing ptsd right now and it’s making me feel angry at myself. Like logically I should feel how I feel. And Ive been hurt and I should feel bad. But instead I’ve become numb because of the trauma from being hurt the same way twice. And my mental state is crap again so I’m easily spiraling
I believe I'm AuDHD and I feel like I have residual issues due to past trauma. I was put into a lot of social situations that I didn't want to do because family/friends would say "It's what you do" sort of thing. I had bad social anxiety for a long time. I love your dresser drawers! I wouldn't have the patience to paint the designs I think. I would hand gotten a design to wallpaper over them. They're looking good though. Also I love your beach day bag. I got a similar one, smaller, off of Mercari last year. You just reminded me I need to bring it out now that it's summer! I agree, living alone is really easy. There's no worry about bothering someone. You don't have to ask if they want what you're cooking. It's your space. What you do with it is up to you!
I love the vlogs. I'm continuing to root for you and you're well-being! Seeing your videos and relating super hard to them has been crazy because hearing you talk just feels like a guide to how I feel/interact with the world as well and it's been so nice to just send your shorts to people and be like "Dis me.'
This comment made me so happy🥰🥰 I’m so happy that there are other ppl out there experiencing life the same way I do. I hope you have a really good day😊✨
I am not sure if it's the video or if it's my phone. But there is no sound with the video. I am not a troll I swear. I just want to hear what is being said.
It just happens sometimes that the videos play with no sound. If you keep closing and restarting the video (or UA-cam app if it keeps happening) it should play with sound.
I was diagnosed cPTSD several years before a correct diagnosis of autism replaced a 27 year old incorrect diagnosis of bipolar. One does wonder how common similar misdiagnosis is and how misdiagnosis might contribute to eventual development of cPTSD.
Can you do a video on what it is like to be autistic? Like a guide to begginers or something? I'm autistic but I'm still feel like WHAT DOES THAT MEAN THO?
Sure!! I will write it on my video idea list🥰 also if you haven’t already you shld check out my tiktok account. I make a lot of content over there about random autistic things that I experience and how it impacts my life. I always have my social media accounts tagged in the caption of my videos. It’s @morgaanfoley on Instagram and tiktok😊😊
6:36 I'm not autistic but I have people very close to me that are and I've definitely seen how Triggering somethings can be And personally I'm good at putting myself in other people's emotions and shoes so It's completely valid And some simple things do trigger me sometimes so even for non autistic people this is very relatable and Thank you for sharing not enough people talk about it Because it's more Of a shamed thing Even though it shouldn't be
I do have heavy trauma, but you spoke about people talking on circles and honestly, you're so right. I have vivid traumatic memories of people confusing me on purpose, it's just terrible and so mean. So, you're incredibly valid and I'm sorry you felt like an outsider, you're incredibly valid with your CPTSD!! And same with being perceived lol.
this just makes me feel like i am continuously pulling myself through traumatic experiences i mean going to school and having to deal with things like classmates who bully me and no one bats an eye, every time ive tried to communicate by textimg in our group chat i always get very negative, passive aggresive responses i feel like i am in constant stress esp lately, i am worrying about something constantly from the moment i wake up till the moment i fall asleep
As an autistic guy with borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder, social anxiety, depression, generalized anxiety, moral OCD, CPTSD, and at risk of psychosis development. I am 100% traumatized. All these disorders came from trauma, abuse, bullying, and oppression. I am unsurprised I am this traumatized, Idk. It's just... wild.
OK so I just went and read some of the study, and I am...unconvinced that the experiments on mice showing PTSD-like fear of a tone is quite enough to say there is a link between the two that is anything more than corollary because they are on the same neurological "track". The neurosciencenews link significantly overstates the link that is shown; more likely the two are simply affected by the part of the frontal cortex that evaluates memory, sorting thoughts by context rather than emotional reaction, simply because our brains wire that way anyway.
I feel like an imposter even with childhood trauma. And adult trauma. Abuse and stuff. Having that doesn't make the imposter syndrome go away. I know people who had it so, so much worse than me, and it has been very hard to admit what I faced was neglect and abuse repeatedly. I know people who were sexually abused, physically abused by parents and partners, and still feel like they are imposters, like their trauma isn't valid.
Thank you thank you thank you so much for sharing this, Morgan! You are an absolute super star and gem. It feels so validating hearing these these shared experiences put into words. Like the fear of being perceived, it feels more true to my experience and heals my heart having grown up constantly being called lazy because I was avoiding tasks when people were around. And I now know why it is so hard to do things while being watched, while others just don't like it, it has always been crippling to me. Knowing what it actually is makes such a big difference
I don’t think there is one perfect job out there for autistic ppl bc we are all so different but for me I like jobs where I have full creative freedom, don’t have to interact with a lot of people, able to work with my hands, and be given a very detailed list of what to do and how to do it. I worked in customer service for most of my adult life and my favorite job was working at Panera lol. I made the salads and the screen told me what to do. I also didn’t have to talk to customers so that was nice. I also liked to make the salads look pretty when the store was slow😂
Thank you for putting this out. I have AuDHD, and a few other disorders. I did a dive into PTSD one time and went ‘huh, I have a few of these symptoms’ but I hesitated to say anything or even think it was a possibility because I’ve had a good family and nothing really traumatic (besides a few major events that I learned years later were traumatic) and often wished that I was autistic/in a minority that would allow the mental pain I was in to be validated. (Which is actually a trauma response) Now I know that my instinct was on point. Thank you for validating these experiences.
“Apparently having trauma as an autistic makes the symptoms worse!” *me realizing why I kept getting worse as I grew older
Keep, for me.
ADHD too. And AuDHD is a giant super fun rollercoaster xD
That's why it's actually C-PTSD.
oh
OH
ohhhhhhhh...
oh man
ohhh man
i erm
i guess i do have.. a lot of trauma, mainly cptsd or what you call it concidering its mostly through long term experiences amd situations
i am so heavily distrusting of people. i assume classmates would use any info of me against me and just are there to be friends to make fum of me. or the fear of being too open abt my struggles due to worrying they will grow tired of me causs my parents would oftenly value their emotions first when im at my lowest
aloota things man, a lot..
@@foxliasgriffinYT It's trauma stacked on top of trauma and once you've been traumatized it makes you more likely to be traumatized more. Humans are kind of like chickens - once one of them draws blood the others will peck it to death. Same with sharks, same with mammals, which tend to hunt in packs. Neurotypical behavior in a nutshell. They're like copy machines with no real mind of their own and go by whatever is popular, by what others do.
This makes me think back to a quote I saw:
"we can't distinguish autistic behaviour from trauma because our current society produces no un-traumatised autistic people"
I love this.
As an autistic person myself, watching a fellow my age getting their shit together so well is very motivating. Thank you Morgan for sharing some important message out there!
What is getting one's shit together? Conforming to the norm?
@@Fred.Carpenter for many autistic people, this is often the most desirable goal
It took my autistic ass till about age 32 to get my shit together and move out!
I was so confused when other autistic people said they don't want to be perceived. But then I thought about how much we get criticized and it makes sense. Being perceived often leads to criticism.
Yes! That, and feeling/thinking, "should I talk to this person", but I don't want to talk, lol. I love being alone.
I'm so conflicted, I'm auDHD too, I love being around ppl, and I'm one of 7 children in our family, so I was always around ppl. But I really do want ppl (especilally the family) to notice that I'm different in a pretty big way. If someone else is in the house, I 100% feel like I should probably not leave my room till they're gone, but that's the part of me I want them to notice :( So in response to your comment @catlily5, I want them to perceive that I'm not the same as them, but not to critisize me for it. Is that similar to what you were saying?
@@smizmar8 No. I meant that if people notice you they might criticize you.
If everyone is walking around with a feather duster sticking out of their butt, you'd best get yourself a feather duster, too, and act like it's the most natural thing in the world.
@@smizmar8I felt that too, and then got kicked out of the house by my stepmother. It might not be the same or as dramatic for you, but that doesn't mean it's any less valid. I wish you luck and Light. 💜
This is so relatable! It's really validating to hear another autistic person talk about struggling with being perceived even for something as simple as walking through a room where people can see you and judge you.
Exactly,
Yeah, agreed.
[Please don’t see me, please don’t see me.]
‘Hey dude, where you going?’
[Dammit!] ‘Uh no where important, gotta get there quickly though.’
>encounter music intensifies in my mind
@@Shaqofalltrades real
The last thing you want is to look like a Jew in Nazi Germany or for people to think you're a witch in Salem.
I was being told "to be myself". Especially when I WAS myself. That possibly affected my trauma of self-acceptance.
As an autistic person, I’m definitely in touch with my trauma. I watch the street channels, like Soft White Underbelly. I can never believe it, when people who make money in the sex industry, on Skid Row, deny having experienced any trauma, in childhood. A lot of people think it takes experiencing horrendous abuse, or witnessing something horrific to be traumatic. And most street people HAVE gone through extreme abuse or neglect, which is also traumatic. Going to sleep and waking up somewhere else, and realizing my parents had picked me up and carried me off was traumatic, when I was a little kid! I’ve been through foster care, life on the streets and all that myself, as a teen and adult, worked in shelters, and am studying in the recovery field, or I wouldn’t speak on it. Just interacting with adults and rooms full of neurotypical kids was traumatic, though, even before life got tough! ❤
I have an internet meme of a group of people all wearing "be yourself" shirts and calling a person who isn't wearing one "nonconformist."
You're my favorite creator in autism topics. It's pretty funny to me how we've got pretty much 0 common interests and hobbies but when I comes to autism, you're the person that more accurately describes the experiences I have, like we've fallen super super close in the spectrum. Thank you for posting videos, they really help me put things into words
Awww thank you! That makes me so happy😊😊
@@morgaanfoleyyou’re my best friend I really like you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ ps I’m autistic too
@@morgaanfoleyyou’re very pretty
Hi Morgan, I'm an (almost) 80 y/o living in the UK and have just self-assessed as autistic (waiting for a clinical diagnosis).
I had not associated autism with PTSD, but your vlog has given me some thoughts about how it may have affected my life, and that I can use this when discussing treatment.
Thank you for your openness and the way that it can help others.
It’s so awesome that you got diagnosed! You’re never too old to learn how to manage your symptoms! ❤. I’m going to tell my mom. She had said she is sure she won’t “get any better, now.” She is only 77!
My mom is 77 too but doesn't want to be diagnosed.
I might just have to tell the world my story after all
@@JamesMaynardMoreland I would read or listen! ❤️
@@sciencenotsrigma Ill see you there then
As a person with auDHD myself, I'm so happy following your journey. Also can we appreciate Morgan her looks and style because it's gorg!
I love her outfit! I love happy colors and images on clothing. ❤
summer does me dirty. I thrive in the cold. when it's hot and bright I just want to stay inside. cold and cloudy is when I love life, but it still conflicts with my actual psychological needs, so I have minor depression almost year-round excluding fall and early spring.
Same here, and I've lived in Texas my whole life 😂
You are my tribe! ❤ same here! I absolutely live autumn, I can breathe better on slightly rainy days, I feel excited with days getting darker early. Summer makes me anxious and nervous. My therapist told me once she read sonewhere summer is yang and winter is yin. Yang is energetic but it is a bit like overdosing caffeine, instead of energy you are just trembling and your heart goes crazy. I can't stay well focused and calm on summer. Autumn and winter feels like a safe shelter. Very cosy. I get a lot of healthy energy from cokd showers or swimming in autumn and winter.... and I can't wait for sunny days to come back 😭 when they come back, I am nervous and trembling again.
lol this is scary accurate to my life experiences xD early-mid spring is the best! good sun for vitamin d, but not too much like during summer. also perfect weather, not too cold, not too hot. its amazing
I have POTS and so 80 degrees F is when I start feeling bad. I love when it gets cold. It's nice to remember that we are all different about heat and light and sleep and that's because we're pack animals who take care of each other. ❤ But yeah, being alone as an autistic is THE BEST.
This is so validating! After years of "useless" therapy, I naturally started being drawn to a therapy forms like EMDR, because I felt I couldn't think/talk my way out of my mental health problems the way therapists wanted me too. But still the standard advised therapy for ADHD and Autism is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which relies heavily on doing homework and "arresting your thoughts", and I personally find this is catered towards neurotypicals who are able to consistently do homework assignments. I often got into arguments with therapists, because I really pushed for EMDR. They finally gave in, and they were super amazed at how "fast" I "recovered" from negative thinking, doomerism, anxiety, etc.... Now I now my intuïtion was on the right track, because it was all C-PTST... I highly recommend looking for therapists who are licenced in body focused trauma therapy, there are many forms.
Autistic people need their own therapy.
"because I felt like I couldn't think/talk my way out of my mental health problems"
I feel that way. I've been diagnosed with emotional disorders/depression/anxiety/bpd, but I wonder if there's something else going on. I've been doing therapy for years and I still severely struggle. I wonder if I need a different plan/treatment
@@emielyns Find the right therapist and psychiatrist for you.
Too many times, people stick with their shitty ones.
I went through, like, six or seven before finding the right ones.
Did the EMDR make you happy as a pig in sh-t or did you realize you were still surrounded by a-holes?
CPTSD is what it says on the tin - complex. It's repeated events, big or small, that coalesce into a monster of an anxiety disorder. Abvse is not the only thing that could cause it - losses, accidents, bullying, instability (home/financial/etc) are all things that disturb a young mind, especially a neurodivergent one. You don't need to have been outright victimized or have had a "typical" traumatic incident in order to develop trauma. Impostor syndrome is also normal even for those who have experienced abvse and the like. Don't discount your own trauma, it is just as valid and just as life-altering as anyone else's, even if it comes from a different source or even just a different way of processing the world. Thank you for sharing your experiences ❤️ And try not to doubt your right to feel how you feel.
Ive always found it really difficult to explain my cptsd to non-autistics. They often don't understand that im not exaggerating when i say that no adults believed me when i tried to get help for the cartoonishly horrific organized bullying i was enduring. Eventually i stopped seeking help and started self harming. When i was 7. I wanted to die every day. No one should live like that, let alone a young child. But that was my reality for many years, and now i am an adult with an A Series of Unfortunate Events tattoo.
Yeah my mom literally tried to kill me and no one believed me.
Adults just stared at me blankly every time I begged for help.
I definitely am victimized by the “autistic behavior sure looks like lying to me” neurotypical perception.
It never got better but it did get quieter.
At least I don’t have to live with people I don’t want to anymore.
For financial reasons, I've always had a roommate of some sort. Whether it was a partner, a friend, or strangers, living with others is still very difficult regardless. Even as you mentioned about being perceived going from one room to the next. The best experience I ever had was when I was teaching in Seattle and I rented a quiet room in a really sweet, quiet couple's basement. I had my own exit and didn't feel like I ever had to "deal" with anyone else. It was magic! I hope you get to experience a bunch of that freedom.
Regardless, this is a great excuse for you to recognize what situations and times you feel most perceived or even happiest just being alone. Then, even when others are around, maybe you can carve out creative ways to not feel so perceived. I tend to change my schedule when I can or make appointments on days I know folks are going to be home. clearly not a solution for most things...but I can definitely relate.
Im 31, I've been with my boyfriend almost 6 years, and we dont live together. Doing what works for you at the time is good for relationships.
I insist on sleeping in different rooms but never had the balls to ask for that. Your boyfriend sounds like a dream!
I was in therapy when I was asked to describe my perfect home. I proceeded to describe the following: A deserted island with details about how far from civilization and impossible to get to it would be, a brief, minimal description of the house - basically structure with a roof and windows and doors, then a long description of the moat/wall/sky high hedges surrounding the house.
But what about the people?
What about them?
Well, you have family and a boyfriend you profess to love, where are they in this home?
Oh they're not in the house.
No?
They're not even in a boat on the way to the island.
The link between autism and PTSD resonates SO MUCH with me. I thought I was crazy and felt guilty for having trauma for so long, and then this video came along and validated and explained everything so well. Thank you, Morgan!
I really love your crocheted tops! I used to own a small handmade crochet and knit business. I can appreciate the craftsmanship! ❤ Thank you for making these videos. My adult children are on the autism spectrum and I recently was diagnosed myself. It all makes so much sense! Ah you do make your own lovely tops!! ❤😁
"Bring an autistic person in the world wr live in is traumatic" YES THANK YOU, im riddiculed by anyone neurotypical (even my friemd who is a doctor) qhwn I say Infeel like I have ptsd, because i had "good childhood"
This is so hurtfull bc im deeply traumatized :c and not even psychologist will see that, because they just ask were y9u r4ped ? Did you survuve a near death expirience? And stuff like that
I have Autism too and my sleeping is my enemy. If my routine gets thrown off completely and I have to change my plans I can't function. Like today I had to stay home because we are in a heatwave and if I don't get out and do anything at all I'm forced to nap. And then nothing gets done so I feel guilty about napping. It's a vicious cycle.
I have heard that marriage is a gift just as singleness is also a gift, but the one who remains single will do better. I live alone and totally understand the feedom you are speaking about. Enjoyed your video and thank you very much for the share.
I believe my little girl is on the spectrum, we are working through her speech delay. We are at a stage where I know she knows the words to communicate and just doesn't. As a parent I have to say that this is so heartbreaking, not being able to understand/provide what your child needs.. and simultaneously frustrating that you cannot remedy the situation. She is progressing everyday. This was very insightful as I catch myself wanting to push her to speak.. or move past meltdown points.
Thank you
I have cptsd, and don’t find out until I was 36. My lived experience though it made sense. Now at 42 I’m finally understanding autism and that I am highly likely in that spectrum, and how that factored in to my ptsd. Sadly I always thought it was just a combination of me being too much and having trauma from an abusive relationship I endured as a young woman. I am homeschooling both my kids, in large part because we know at least one of them is audhd and I do not want either of them having the horrible experiences I did in school. I am so thankful to see young people like you Morgan, talking about these things, and creating the kind of culture and world around us that I want my kids living in.
That’s so cool! I, also, homeschooled one of my kids, because of his ADHD, but since I found out I’m autistic, I think my child may be both. He has always had social anxiety, and has consistently tested as gifted, as well. I was in gifted programs, as a child, as well as being tracked into, “Friendhip Group.” If you haven’t been, Friendship Group is a pull-out program for kids who have difficulty with social skills. And none of the teachers who sent me to both classes thought of autism, as a possibility? Hello 👋! I’m about your age, though, so it figures. People didn’t have as much information then, as they do now. My mom never even took me to a doctor, if I could get up and walk around. 😂. This approach was typical, back then. ❤
I dont know if I have autism. You are making me think that I have autism because of how similar we are ❤. But i HATE beaches. Its the sand...😅. It just overwhelms me 😢
HIII IM FIRST, HAVE A GOOD TIME WATCHING GUYYSSSSS❤❤
Calendar Tip: I got a bunch of magnets and put 2 calendars on my fridge: one big, one small-ish.
The bigger calendar shows the events (bills, etc.) of the current month, while the smaller one is on the next month.
Great tip! I might try that. I've found I need to keep a calendar now, especially since I am older and busier, I tend to forget a lot of things.
That's the autism research we actually want: things that can help others understand us better and improve our lives
Am so glad I am finally getting an answer to this because, as I am getting older, my autism symptoms are getting worse, so I am glad I am not the only one
6:35 A thing about being an adult, all this stuff is learned skill . It takes a lot longer for people who are neurodivergent to grasp the concept, how to negotiate and navigate the environment . It's worse if they've been traumatized because it slows the ability for them to competently be able to move forward with grievances. And in my opinion, knowledge of understanding how law works in their favor, actually helps neurodivergent minds focus on the task at hand to ease suffering of the individuals who fear the outdoors when engaging with the public .
Hi from Maine! I started following you on Instagram a while back, but didn't realize we are new england neighbors. Cool, congrats on the movem and thank you for the educational and awesome content!!!
Omg there should be an autism community event in New England. That's like a summer/fall travel spot! I'd love watching a video about it, so heartwarming, right?
I'm from Mass too and i love that you said "draws" for drawers :)
Morgan, I just wanted to say how incredibly much I appreciate your videos. I’ve never EVER felt like I had anyone else in this world I could relate to so much, and all of the content you make I’m like “omg she gets me!” Thank you so much! I feel so validated and way less alone.
I am so glad you get me!! It makes me so happy knowing that other people all over the world experience life the same way I do🥰🥰
5:50 it's Narcissisic abuse... Like u said, easily subjected to verbal abuse. In America, there is this thing called the fist amendment, and the 5 liberties to the fist amendment. One of those liberties is the RIGHT to free 🦅 speech. This does not mean the RIGHT to abuse free speech, to acosta individuals because a person feels empowered to do so for whatever agenda they feel they possess . There is a limit to free 🦅 speech , and hella lot more to it than that.. understanding the law, helps ppl who r neurodivergent, to fight individuals who abuse their God given inalienable RIGHT to life, because of how they feel .. like for instance verbal abuse, being accosted in public, or in a privet setting without knowing how the limitation of how free speech works, can actually empower the abused by understanding how the limitation of free speech works, ppl who r neurodivergent are more sensitive to free 🦅 speech than a neurotypical individual, in America that's a big deal. The best option is to remove yourself from this toxic environment immediately to avoid abuse .. But there is a but here . Knowing the law will help with justification in fighting individuals who abuse the law .. and that fear is real with ppl who r neurodivergent. .. Ill give u a real world 🌍🌎 example of how ppl who r neurodivergent and easily subjected to Narcissisic abuse from neurotypical individuals . Just going to a fast food restaurant to get something to eat is a headache in its self if the order is screwed up and a neurodivergent individual has to deal with an abusive staff that will not fix the problem they wronged to begin with.. as little as that might seem small it's not when a staff member makes it's difficult because of how they feel regardless of mental problems.. the fear of getting into a heated argument of any kind in a privet setting open to the public means understanding how the law works..and the justification u have in grievance. Ppl who r neurodivergent whom have suffered, will have a real hard time negotiating this environment and will easily become overwhelmed and hostile... I definitely do not need a study to tell what I know. . it's the lack of respect for law.
Oh yeah. The second ADHD pill. That's why this afternoon has been worthless.
Happens to me all the time😂
Yes! Living in the world gave me PTSD.
Thank you for saying that. 2 days ago I said to someone that me being is exhausting itself. I hate being, everything hurts! Sensory issues, being constantly overwhelned, misunderstood, rejected, afraid to gonout and talk to people, afraid to behave naturally, I feel physical pain because of emotional and mental overload. And my friend said she loves to live. But she is not ND and is very healthy (I have severe chronic illness and recurring migraines)
I love your term “everything shower”! I never heard that before but I instantly knew what you meant. 😊
As a mom of an autistic son I very much value your videos. So much of what you post resonates with what I see with my son. I’m wondering if you could do some posts about what you think would be best approaches as parents for helping our kids with the challenges you speak about. Thank you for doing what you are doing.
Thank you so much🥰🥰
I live in Dallas and have sensory issues with anything over 75°. I don't do summer.
Ooohhh, I did a business trip to Dallas once, and had to be outside a lot at 110F. My sympathies! Yeah, 76 is where I start overheating. I tolerate low 80s better than I did when I was younger, but still. And I’ve always found sunny days too bright, these days I were brimmed caps whenever I go outside. On the other hand, I’m in the Northesst like Morgan, and I don’t like winter either.
Omg yes, I love the warmth. Summer is my favourite season, I feel mentally so much better when it's warm and sunny.
I’m autistic and I like when it’s cool. I love snow. ❄️ . I just can’t stand being hot 🥵! I don’t like bright sun 🌞, either. I am happy for those who do, though!
@@sciencenotsrigma I feel like there are just two types of autistic people. The ones who like the cold and the ones who like the warmth. I'm happy you like the cold and feel good during that winter. For me it's a nightmare, I'm constantly cold, because my body is unable to keep me warm.
my favourite weather is when its either cold and snowing outside but warm inside, or temperate (14-20 degrees) with lots of rain
@@katzenlady5339 That makes sense! We all have sensory issues in common, but our sensory triggers can be very different. With weather, I always figured it had a lot to do with what you’re acclimated to, but I was born in California. I only lived there until I was 3. I remember I could actually see wavy lines in the air, from the heat. I had a little plastic car to ride in, but I didn’t like that I had to push it with my feet, because the ground was too hot. I remember my mom saying the ground was hot enough to fry an egg on, and I wanted to see if that was true, or if that was just one of those inaccurate things grown-up say, but I didn’t know where to find an egg. I remember asking, “Can you, really?” Of course, I got a laugh and a vague answer. I was not a happy baby! Nothing made much sense. The sun hurt my eyes, but I loved my grandma’s bright, floral sundresses. That is my style, to this day, weird or not, in the Midwest. The first time I saw a heavy snowfall, I was confused. The snowbanks were so tall, I couldn’t see how to get from the house to the car. My mom said to follow the shoveled path, and I just had to trust her. It felt like a corn maze, where they plow paths in cornfields that are taller than your head, and you have to find your way out. I loved being cozy in my snowsuit, hat, and mittens, though. It could very well be that there are (at least) two types! Some of my family love temperate weather, where it’s neither hot or cold. As for my love of winter, I think it’s partly because I’m allergic to everything, and the freeze 🥶 gets rid of all the allergens. I feel dramatically better, then. With climate change, we’ve had fewer months like that, and all the wet weather makes it hard to breathe. I wish I could move to Canada or Sweden, sometimes!
@@katzenlady5339 That makes sense! We all have sensory issues in common, but our sensory triggers can be very different. With weather, I always figured it had a lot to do with what you’re acclimated to, but I was born in California. I only lived there until I was 3. I remember I could actually see wavy lines in the air, from the heat. I had a little plastic car to ride in, but I didn’t like that I had to push it with my feet, because the ground was too hot. I remember my mom saying the ground was hot enough to fry an egg on, and I wanted to see if that was true, or if that was just one of those inaccurate things grown-up say, but I didn’t know where to find an egg. I remember asking, “Can you, really?” Of course, I got a laugh and a vague answer. I was not a happy baby! Nothing made much sense. The sun hurt my eyes, but I loved my grandma’s bright, floral sundresses. That is my style, to this day, weird or not, in the Midwest. The first time I saw a heavy snowfall, I was confused. The snowbanks were so tall, I couldn’t see how to get from the house to the car. My mom said to follow the shoveled path, and I just had to trust her. It felt like a corn maze, where they plow paths in cornfields that are taller than your head, and you have to find your way out. I loved being cozy in my snowsuit, hat, and mittens, though. It could very well be that there are (at least) two types! Some of my family love temperate weather, where it’s neither hot or cold. As for my love of winter, I think it’s partly because I’m allergic to everything, and the freeze 🥶 gets rid of all the allergens. I feel dramatically better, then. With climate change, we’ve had fewer months like that, and all the wet weather makes it hard to breathe. I wish I could move to Canada or Sweden, sometimes!
3:14 don't need a study to tell me what I know
So I am not diagnosed with autism or PTSD, but that all makes sense and it is so traumatizing and some things are just so traumatizing for me that are like sitcom for people for example cars I get over 130 heart rate whenever I’m in a car ball and I can’t explain
Whether or not you’re autistic, I think it’s unfair that society thinks it can define which events cause “significant trauma,” or not. No one should minimize anyone’s experience of trauma! I mean, being born is traumatic, do we all (or almost all) come into this world with trauma. ❤
I feel creepy watching your videos bc I’m 38 but emotionally I feel like I’m still a teenager. I feel like I can relate to so much you say. Thank you for sharing. I promise I’m not really a creepy person I just feel like I’ve never been able to relate to someone so much
Same here ❤ feel like a teenager.
Morgan has such wisdom to share, please don't feel guilty ❤
I'm 42 and waiting to get my "legit" diagnosis. The trauma thing is real. What people don't get is that all trauma hits us at the root of our existence. Where we are deep down to our marrow.
When there's a fundamental disconnect between you and the rest of the world, that's a fundamental vulnerability. A soft bone, as it were, with the marrow all vulnerable and extra squishy.
Assault is a violation of the body and space. That's traumatic. People can get that.
But having social violations? People don't see that as valid because to them, they aren't vulnerable there. So they don't get it. Oh those people were just (insult). Brush it off.
Like no. You can't. Because it hit your marrow. That shit hurts.
Hey Morgan, thank you so much for making these videos, I appreciate them so much.
I think I might be autistic because of a few things I have experienced, and a bunch of things you have said that I relate to.
I’m nervous to tell someone cause I feel I will seem disrespectful or attention-seeking.
Anyways, if you could please post that TikTok on UA-cam as a short. I don’t have TikTok and it would mean a lot. Thank you so much, you are such an inspiration to me!❤❤❤❤
I feel exactly the same way, I talked to my mom about my questions and she instantly said « of course you’re not autistic it’s not possible, a lot of people are like that and it doesn’t mean they’re autistic » and ever since I feel like she’s judging everything I say about autism like I’m not in the right place at all or like I’m just looking for attention
My partner gets offended at my fear of being perceived, idk how to handle this lol
It means they aren’t a good match. They shouldn’t be offended by your feelings, they should help you with them.
@@chaotic7cam maybe it just means they need to be reassured it’s not their fault and to be told why it happens and how… communication is so important I don’t think we should just get rid of someone that doesn’t get something that was not explained. But of course if they keep dismissing feelings it can become toxic
Went through brutal spankings and even grabbed by the throat as a child, sxxxcide thoughts and attempt at 19 and was revived, then went to the marines. Life full of trauma and PTSD. If I was diagnosed as a child life would have been different.
Super fundaments Christian parents that were raised to use pain for punishment. Worst environment for a over stimulated autistic child could possibly imagine. Generational trauma
Don't mind me, just commenting for the algorithm
Thank you! I am happy you are here🥰🥰
I can’t believe how spot on you are. I struggle even describing into words, so I just don’t bother. You have nailed this perfectly Morgan! 🎉😊
Dear Morgan, If you and your family ever adopted a *pet bunny rabbit* one day in the future, what would you guys like to name him/her? 🐇🐰✨️♥️💯
Thanks for sharing this. I find this so relatable. Trauma from communication challenges hits really hard for me.
Really fascinating stuff to hear about.
I'm in the unusual position of being a pretty untraumatised autistic - I have this odd aphantasia linked thing called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory, which basically has the effect that I'm kinda immune to the impacts of trauma. Happens because my memory isn't really able to hold on to my past well enough for it to effect me that way. But I really appreciate people discussing their (C)PTSD because it's something a lot of the people I care most about have to deal with, so I'd like to understand.
So yeah, thank you.
That is interesting. Amanda from I Am Mindblind also has aphantasia and SDAM. She has talked about trauma, but I haven’t watched that video so I’m not sure what her conclusions about herself are. I can see ways in which it could happen, as part of the difficulty with PTSD is that memories are stored in the amygdala, and are apparently separate from and inaccessible to regular memory. That might or might not bypass SDAM for classic life threatening trauma, though I bet it would tend to prevent CPTSD, which involves cumulative triggers.
I feel like it's not so much that it's "easier" for us to be traumatized, so much as it is that we're going through the same things that would traumatize other people, just that the people who are doing it to us don't realize it's traumatizing.
To elaborate, constantly being misunderstood or misconstrued, told that what you're feeling isn't valid or doesn't matter, and constantly being told that they're the abuser if they try to defend themselves if done to a neurotypical would be considered gaslighting. If a neurotypical person had to deal with almost everyone they know in their life gaslighting them without even having a reason as to why, of course that person's going to be traumatized and have a hard time trusting anyone. Especially if on top of that they also have to keep up impossibly high standards on a day-to-day basis if they don't want to face more of it.
But if this is done to an autistic person, this is just considered "normal".
Your videos are inspiring to me as a fellow autistic woman in my early twenties. I hope you have a great week :)
Well, yes. One of my number one triggers is not getting the response I expected. I will note that this may be a mix of people not understanding what I am saying, and my misinterpreting their response. I have no good way to tell one from the other, but it’s an example of the double empathy problem either way.
I don’t think I had any capital T Trauma as a child either, but part of my deal with taking things hard is my nervous system. I was a fearful child, and my overactive fight or flight response has a lot to do with my mother having the same. I would have been born with a predisposition to high levels of stress hormones via prenatal exposure to her high levels. This is an established mechanism, and I cannot say if it is directly connected to my autism; as a phenomenon it can certainly stand alone, and is sometimes referred to as inter generational trauma. It can go back multiple generations, and in fact I can cite events in my maternal great grandmother’s life that could have started the ball rolling. So is it autism related for me? I don’t know. I think there is some research that suggests that at least some autistic people may have unusually large amygdalas, but of course I’m autistic and mine is probably a bit hefty...but is it causation or correlation?
I have the same problem with moving or just changing jobs or routine. I'm usually excited for the change, but seem to struggle about three months afterward. However, it usually resolves itself within a year. Also, regarding the trauma, you also get a lot of people who tell you that you're being too dramatic. I've had a lot of reasons to have trauma, but I'm frequently told to "get over it" or "it wasn't THAT bad." People are so dismissive of everything I say or do.
And, I agree with you, living alone is the best solution for some autistics. People tell me to get roommates to help with the bills, but I tell them I literally can't live with someone. We had a lot of domestic violence in our household when I was younger. I don't want to create a situation where that might happen again.
You are so pretty! You look like Morena Baccarin.
Thanks for making interesting informative videos. I see where you're going with the new dresser and it's going to look dope!
Awww thank you so much!! I’m excited to be done w it and see the final product haha
I don’t know if I’m autistic, im not autistic at all but I keep seeing your videos and makes me question lol, I keep on masking people lik copying what people do and copying their personalities when I’m with them I think everyone does that, I use their vocabulary like “biggo” I think that means fat but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or something, but I haven’t had a melt down I just vocabulary shut dow, lol my grammar and spelling is bad I’m sorry
3:48
This rant is right on point….
5:29 also me
6:34 Also this is why I stay alone
Been watching you for months and i had no idea we live in the same state!
Haven't watched the rest yet so the tone of this comment is probably way off
Love your channel is very helpful and knowledgeable on so many aspects of those of us in the community and how we struggle and strive.
Can anyone provide any info on said study in your video.
Super validating. Same I also knew this in myself in my mind and body. And so many on the outisde didnt get it or belive us.
This new study, new info can really help so many. Blessings.
WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THE DOG IN THE BACKGROUND OMG.
Wow, You are really good at painting this drawers, kreative AND accurate.
I first thaught You put some designed paper on the first that I saw in the back.
Good job and nice to here You are fine😊
Ah, and another thing: yes, I went to heavy trauma, am surviver of crime/abuse. And AuDHD.
And never ever I would think someone elses trauma is "less". In my experience this comes from outside people. Please don't listen if someone dares to tell You!
The trauma thing is a real struggle. I spent most of my life (48) trying to figure out why I was so screwed up despite not having any "real" trauma. I even went back to school for counseling psychology!! Tons of therapy. Nothing really helped or made sense until I figured out more recently that I am AuDHD. Feels like such a waste of life. The back and forth burn out eventually led me to a Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, so there's no healing the lifelong trauma damage at this point. I am so glad that you have been able to figure this all out earlier in life.
And I have the fear of being perceived thing! This explains so much! No one ever understood this so I stopped trying to talk about it with anyone... Thanks for sharing your experience. So helpful for me. Best wishes to you Morgan.
Give it some time 🙃It's a lot to process, videos and books have been so helpful to me and this channel is awesome🙂
@@XaltaTarot-qs2hc yes, thank you for the encouragement. UA-cam and books have been priceless on this journey and she's one of my favorites. But I just found out about Dr. Devon Price's book on masking. Excited to get it. Best wishes.
I have been doing tons of research on autoimmune illnesses because my daughter got very sick a few years ago. They are reversible in some cases. At the very least, they can be reduced. MS isn't the end. I just wanted to give you some hope that this diagnosis doesn't necessarily have to be your life from now on.
@@gwennyrj thank you. That is very sweet. I am well versed in autoimmune issues, because my late husband had Lupus and died from complications (mostly from the medication, but combined with the disease. It tends to be more aggressive in males). Autoimmune issues became a hyper focus. I even went back to school for health coaching after my experience with him, but I was already on my way to health issues because of the stress of living with his health issues and then his death. After my first neurological flare I changed my diet, treated chronic infections, worked on gut health, tried to reduce stress and more. Eventually back to school for counseling. I was able to hold the MS off for 12 years, but stress caught up with me. The last flare caused permanent damage to my dominant hand. Unfortunately, I have had some extremely stressful life experiences that were out of my control and stress is definitely a big contributor to MS and other autoimmune diseases. Not understanding that I was/am AuDHD made it all worse, of course. I am a high masker which I believe is one of the reasons I am in this predicament. I am now on a good disease modifying drug for the MS and so the chance of any further flares are low, but the myelin damage is done. Plus I am now forever immune compromised. So I am no longer working or doing anything around people as I am a huge candidate for long haul C given my history. So life has gotten pretty small. Not sure what your daughter is dealing with, but diet, gut health and stress management are key and something most regular MDs will never discuss. Best wishes to you both. 🤗
Yay a new vlog! I really appreciate how open you are with how things have been going.
Something that you may want to consider if you need a calendar is to get a really big white board. I have a big white board in my room facing my bed and I have 2/3s of it with my weekly schedule of work and school and such, and the other 1/3 has my to do list for the week with everything that needs to get done by the end of the week. I also love it cuz I get to use different color markers on the board itself, and it’s so satisfying to cross off or erase something from my to do list once it’s done. Plus it’s way easier to remember to do things when there’s a giant colorful sign staring at you in your room reminding you to do them.😅
I am still debating between a big paper one to lay flat on my desk or hang up a big white board one!! you might have convinced me on the white board hahah
@@morgaanfoley I personally don’t like paper desk ones cuz I feel like I can’t use my desk then cuz I worry I’ll mess it up. Or if I place something on the desk and now it’s accidentally covering some projects or event I had, then I might forget it. So I prefer wall white boards so that they won’t get in the way of anything and I can see it right when I wake up.
But obviously everyone’s got a different preference and might need a different accommodation. But that’s what works best for me. 🙂
@@morgaanfoley. I prefer paper, because when I put thought into something, I don’t like erasing it. I am autistic and in recovery from a Substance Use Disorder. At treatment, they had us do an exercise where we wrote down our history, from our childhood experiences to our first use of substances, through the progression of our disorder, until the events that brought us to treatment. Then, they had us erase it, to represent a new start. I was like, “What? I have written most of a book, here. I would like to publish it, or at least give it to my children, when they are grown.” Lol! Thankfully, I had made notes and a timeline, so I survived. I guess the whiteboard vs. paper question just depends on what works best for you!
@@miaknight2818. I feel the same way…afraid I would mess it up! That’s why I use a weekly planner, with individual days of the week, and the hours of the day pre-printed. As a visual, I have a magnetic weekly goals list. I also write everything on a calendar. I love writing ✍️ things on paper! I think it helps me remember more than an e-calendar, especially the stuff I can see, as a visual reminder. ❤
@@sciencenotsrigma Yikes, that sounds heartbreaking being told it was time to throw all that work away. I’m glad you had back ups of your notes and I hope other parts of your recovery treatment were more helpful and comforting
8:25 IMO. It means you're having fun. Time fly's when your having fun 😊😊. But that's me.. maybe u weren't having fun 😞😞.
4:00 same only I got abused by my dad very much and kinda grew up alone cuz deside abusing me he was never home
Cute top! And of course, Evie is cute too!!
I love 80 degree weather! It’s so nice! Where I live that’s winter 😂
I would definitely have a hard time living there! I love Arctic 🥶 winters!
I am diagnosed PTSD. I have medically defined trauma resulting in a mental injury of PTSD. It results in significant impairment for me.
Are you diagnosed with cPTSD by a clinician?
The study you linked was conducted on mice. Doubt that has much validity transferring to humans.
I’m struggling to know if I’m autistic or not because a lot of stuff is so relatable and at the same time other things are not, or are a little but not that much… so… yeah anyway I love watching your videos they’re easy to understand as a non native english speaker and I love the calm, the way you talk, the way the videos are organized, it’s so cool!
Don’t forget…Morgan is AuDHD. I’m “just” autistic. I can relate to some of her experiences and not others, as well. I usually relate to more specific examples of creators who are only diagnosed with autism, or autism, plus the co-occurring disorders I also have. I still relate to at least half of the examples Morgan gives, and I recognize many others, because my mom and one of my kids have ADHD. I also watch channels of other “just autistic” people, and I don’t have some things in common with some of them. For example, my “safe foods” differ greatly from other people’s, sometimes. If you want to find out if you’re autistic, that’s reason enough to pursue testing! I wish you luck 🍀, and great experiences in self-discovery! ❤
@@sciencenotsrigma yeah I know she’s not only autistic… but since I’ve been wondering I did a lot of research about autism and there are things that are very common for autistic people that I don’t really relate to or that were a problem for me before but became easy to live with, like some problems disappeared after working on them or after getting used to them and I don’t know if that’s « possible » in autism… like maybe things are meant to stay a lifetime? I don’t know I’m so lost right now… there is also all the social part that wasn’t present in my childhood but I started being very very shy from 7-8 yo and then socializing with people my age became so hard at 12 even though it wasn’t hard at all before
But thank you for your answer ❤️
@@AubeEclatante usually not writing comments on here, but I thought I'd love answers/further input like this myself, so here we go. I think everyone, autistic or not, is able to learn how their environment works and adapt to it at least in parts. Even when your understanding of the world differs from others, you'll still adapt as best as you can and learn to live with it, since you can't change much about that. About the socializing thing, for me that makes sense. Firstly, young children generally tend to be very direct and literal, which kind of helps in communication if you're somewhere on the spectrum. But you'll still experience moments where you feel you're not really understood, and they begin to pile up with the years. Meanwhile, getting a little older, puberty starting etc, communication changes, there's suddenly things kids don't want to talk completely openly about, social lives and life in general becomes more complex and thus, a lot of subtext enters conversations. Also, everyone is trying to figure out who they are or who they want to become, and a lot of that happens by putting others on the spot, "test" and label people, and sadly, exclude kids who seem to be different or some kind of weird. That's when communication becomes harder and harder over time, so your experience might be related to that. That said, I'm not a professional and these are just my thoughts and observations. But I think it's always worth it to look into questions like whether you're neurodivergent, because if you are, knowing about it will greatly improve your life! ❤
I have 3 members in my family that are autistic (one of them is my brother) I love your videos cuz now I stop thinking "oh there just dramatic" but now I know that I have to be more understanding so thanks! 👍
...Thank you for this.
Yess me part of ASD too
I love your videos, especially about being an autistic teenager into young adulthood. So many of your stories bring back these happy memories of being in school and the wacky stories that happened (I was a wacky extroverted autist when young).
I am almost 40 and was late diagnosed at 30. Growing up, autism in girls was unheard of and CPTSD didn't exist. PTSD was for war-level trauma only. So many of your videos have made me re-contextualize my teenage years and behavior. I actually developed PTSD from a high school break-up and nobody back then understood the symptoms and it was misdiagnosed for 6 years. It shaped the trajectory of my young adult life. Raising awareness about this now for younger autists is so important!
Re: the PTSD study stuff, I did a deep dive into some neurology when I was in my late 20s (basically I got frustrated at doctors not knowing what was physically wrong so I got my genome sequenced, etc. lol). They have found that autists have mutations in how they metabolize neurotransmitters, and I have the one that causes me to metabolize norepinephrine slower than traffic in Nashua. ;D. I think there is a link to how fast a person clears these neurotransmitters during acute distress/trauma and whether PTSD develops. If you're interested there are articles about MTHFR that indicate this.
It makes me so happy so to see a fellow autist making their way in the world and sharing how we navigate it. Thank you for the video shorts too-- I've literally had to share a few with my family even at this age so they have that Aha! moment.
Also, many head pats to the Royal Hot Doggo in the background. Best of luck with the move to New Hampshire!
I have an Alexa device and it announces that it's time for me to take my pill. It announces it at certain specific times of the day, to remind me. I've found it useful for me.
That’s an awesome idea!! I’m so glad that works for you🥰 now I wanna look into getting something like that bc it sounds really good
I'm not sure that autism is a factor, if what was done to me, was done to a "normal" person, that person would be WORSE off than me. If anything being AuDHD means I can handle a lot more trauma than a "normal" person.
I do the leg wibbling thing, people constantly tell me that it's wrong or annoying or whatever. That chips off a little of my mental health every time it's done and the wound never heals if it happens over and over. That is complex PTSD... I'm now afraid to wibble my leg and can't stim at all.
The reason why autism is in conflict with reality is that what is considered a "good" life for someone "normal" harms us. I'm harmed from going to school, I'm harmed from all kinds of family activity, I'm harmed from due having the wrong body language... I'm harmed by "normal" people trying to push "normal tyranny" onto me.
Yeah it can be very interesting how that trauma thing works. I used to do the leg thing too, it was my stimming thing, and I was constantly told to stop as a kid when it was a soothing gesture. I never do it anymore bc of what they said, but I want to start trying again because it is soothing. Meanwhile, I was framed for something I didn’t do by my sister and spent 3 nights in jail on su*cde watch all alone behind a glass wall (with nothing but a velcro ‘dress’) until my mom got me out. Was it traumatizing at the time? Yeah. But honestly I have no problem discussing it. I just kinda feel detached (maybe slightly uneasy) like what happened happened. Just stating facts out loud at this point. It surprised me this non-chalonce because I’m a pretty sensitive person. I’m sure another autistic person would be a lot more scarred but for some reason I’m not. I do have PTSD from the family court case that got my sisters (wrongly) taken away though. Over 10 years ago and I still can’t stop having flashbacks.
im crying, this video is too relatable.
I have no idea what all trauma I have but it's a long list for sure and as the list gets longer I do "feel" more autistic.
I’m experiencing ptsd right now and it’s making me feel angry at myself. Like logically I should feel how I feel. And Ive been hurt and I should feel bad. But instead I’ve become numb because of the trauma from being hurt the same way twice. And my mental state is crap again so I’m easily spiraling
I really needed this type of validation too, thank you Morgan 💖
your outfit is so cute!
Ahhhh thank you🥰🥰🥰
@@morgaanfoley OMG YAY U REPLIED!! NP
I believe I'm AuDHD and I feel like I have residual issues due to past trauma. I was put into a lot of social situations that I didn't want to do because family/friends would say "It's what you do" sort of thing. I had bad social anxiety for a long time.
I love your dresser drawers! I wouldn't have the patience to paint the designs I think. I would hand gotten a design to wallpaper over them. They're looking good though.
Also I love your beach day bag. I got a similar one, smaller, off of Mercari last year. You just reminded me I need to bring it out now that it's summer!
I agree, living alone is really easy. There's no worry about bothering someone. You don't have to ask if they want what you're cooking. It's your space. What you do with it is up to you!
I love the vlogs. I'm continuing to root for you and you're well-being! Seeing your videos and relating super hard to them has been crazy because hearing you talk just feels like a guide to how I feel/interact with the world as well and it's been so nice to just send your shorts to people and be like "Dis me.'
This comment made me so happy🥰🥰 I’m so happy that there are other ppl out there experiencing life the same way I do. I hope you have a really good day😊✨
I am not sure if it's the video or if it's my phone. But there is no sound with the video. I am not a troll I swear. I just want to hear what is being said.
Reset your browser, I can hear audio. It may be a glitch
It just happens sometimes that the videos play with no sound. If you keep closing and restarting the video (or UA-cam app if it keeps happening) it should play with sound.
I was diagnosed cPTSD several years before a correct diagnosis of autism replaced a 27 year old incorrect diagnosis of bipolar. One does wonder how common similar misdiagnosis is and how misdiagnosis might contribute to eventual development of cPTSD.
Can you do a video on what it is like to be autistic? Like a guide to begginers or something? I'm autistic but I'm still feel like WHAT DOES THAT MEAN THO?
Sure!! I will write it on my video idea list🥰 also if you haven’t already you shld check out my tiktok account. I make a lot of content over there about random autistic things that I experience and how it impacts my life. I always have my social media accounts tagged in the caption of my videos. It’s @morgaanfoley on Instagram and tiktok😊😊
@@morgaanfoley yeeeey!! I will! Thank you 🥰🥰
6:36 I'm not autistic but I have people very close to me that are and I've definitely seen how Triggering somethings can be And personally I'm good at putting myself in other people's emotions and shoes so It's completely valid And some simple things do trigger me sometimes so even for non autistic people this is very relatable and Thank you for sharing not enough people talk about it Because it's more Of a shamed thing Even though it shouldn't be
I do have heavy trauma, but you spoke about people talking on circles and honestly, you're so right. I have vivid traumatic memories of people confusing me on purpose, it's just terrible and so mean. So, you're incredibly valid and I'm sorry you felt like an outsider, you're incredibly valid with your CPTSD!! And same with being perceived lol.
Your curly hair routine looks great!!
* screaming in relatable * OMFG I KNEW IT!!! 😮 I WAS RIGHT! THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS RIGHT! 😭😭😭😭😭 Thank you for this video, incredibly validating.
this just makes me feel like i am continuously pulling myself through traumatic experiences
i mean going to school and having to deal with things like classmates who bully me and no one bats an eye, every time ive tried to communicate by textimg in our group chat i always get very negative, passive aggresive responses
i feel like i am in constant stress esp lately, i am worrying about something constantly from the moment i wake up till the moment i fall asleep
This is really validating. I've felt extreme responses/trauma from "regular" experiences on top of experiences that would traumatize anyone.
As an autistic guy with borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder, social anxiety, depression, generalized anxiety, moral OCD, CPTSD, and at risk of psychosis development. I am 100% traumatized. All these disorders came from trauma, abuse, bullying, and oppression.
I am unsurprised I am this traumatized, Idk. It's just... wild.
You are just AMAZING! ❤❤❤
You are so pretty 😊
OK so I just went and read some of the study, and I am...unconvinced that the experiments on mice showing PTSD-like fear of a tone is quite enough to say there is a link between the two that is anything more than corollary because they are on the same neurological "track". The neurosciencenews link significantly overstates the link that is shown; more likely the two are simply affected by the part of the frontal cortex that evaluates memory, sorting thoughts by context rather than emotional reaction, simply because our brains wire that way anyway.
I feel like an imposter even with childhood trauma. And adult trauma. Abuse and stuff. Having that doesn't make the imposter syndrome go away. I know people who had it so, so much worse than me, and it has been very hard to admit what I faced was neglect and abuse repeatedly. I know people who were sexually abused, physically abused by parents and partners, and still feel like they are imposters, like their trauma isn't valid.
Thank you thank you thank you so much for sharing this, Morgan! You are an absolute super star and gem. It feels so validating hearing these these shared experiences put into words. Like the fear of being perceived, it feels more true to my experience and heals my heart having grown up constantly being called lazy because I was avoiding tasks when people were around. And I now know why it is so hard to do things while being watched, while others just don't like it, it has always been crippling to me. Knowing what it actually is makes such a big difference
What kind of jobs do you find are manageable and not hard on your nervous system?
I don’t think there is one perfect job out there for autistic ppl bc we are all so different but for me I like jobs where I have full creative freedom, don’t have to interact with a lot of people, able to work with my hands, and be given a very detailed list of what to do and how to do it. I worked in customer service for most of my adult life and my favorite job was working at Panera lol. I made the salads and the screen told me what to do. I also didn’t have to talk to customers so that was nice. I also liked to make the salads look pretty when the store was slow😂
Thank you for putting this out. I have AuDHD, and a few other disorders. I did a dive into PTSD one time and went ‘huh, I have a few of these symptoms’ but I hesitated to say anything or even think it was a possibility because I’ve had a good family and nothing really traumatic (besides a few major events that I learned years later were traumatic) and often wished that I was autistic/in a minority that would allow the mental pain I was in to be validated. (Which is actually a trauma response) Now I know that my instinct was on point. Thank you for validating these experiences.
I see that your favorite store is my favorite store. 😂 I have a lot of stuff you do, well fro the same store. ❤