Everyone in the Bible is GAY | Rob Anderson
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
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Jesus had two dads and that's just the start of it. Every character in the bible is gay. God is gay. Jesus is gay. The Virgin Mary is a lesbian. They're all gay. Let me know what other shows, movies, and stories need confirmation that every character is a homosexual!
I'm sharing this in the bible study group chat, because I love drama and I'm here for it looool
Your also love hell don't you
That’s so gay 😂😂
@@generalmengwu HELP😭😭😭😭
Please tell us how that turned out! 🤣
@@generalmengwu hell is a great place to catch a tan even if I'm naturally tanned. Willing to go with a plus one. All the cool people are there anyways #litashell
You forgot to include Angel Gabriel. The one who announced that Jesus is God’s child. Major gooossssip 💋
STOBBBB
More like Angel Gay-briel 😩😩😩
@@FAE102 same I only eat fish
Everybody in my family agrees that Gabriel is non binary tho
oh he just cooooouldnt shut up about it HAHAHA
“THE WHALE IS GAY”
I wanna die
Furry vore
Same😂😂😂😂
@@hi-wy7ph Furry? Slippery?
@@hi-wy7ph Flukey?
Ok but Jesus actually had a “beloved disciple” who is thought to be John the apostle. He would lie on Jesus’ breast and this dude ended his own marriage to become ‘wedded to Jesus’. Pretty fruity if you ask me.
Ruins the joke but many scholars believe the "beloved disciple" was Mary Magdalene and they kept the gender ambiguous bc they'd rather have fruity shit in there than acknowledge actual meaningful contributions by women. Also MM was NOT a prostitute there were just hella Marys running around back then (gay) and some of the characters got condensed/later scholars wanted to ruin her reputation because again, can't show a woman being legitimate and important or else they might get the idea they deserve more than being literal chattel...
@@alexandragatto
That's fascinating. That they'd prefer queer subtext over praising a woman
"David killed Goliath with a sling"
I DIED
adds a layer of meaning to being WRECKED from a SLING
Hey, what about Jonathan?
Isn’t the story of Sodom and Gomorrah all about a town of men wanting to smash hot, male angel cheeks? And David (from David and Goliath) is in love with Jonathan, his brother in law.
And the man was ready to give away his daughters and wife to keep the angel in his house...
From what I remember, the sin of Sodom was gang r*pe, not gay sex. Lot and his daughters, as well as the angels, were targeted for being outsiders of the town. They targeted Lot because, at the time, to have sex with a man was a way to emasculate and devalue him as a man, a father and person in a city he just moved to. The whole offering his daughter situation, I think, was that it was customary to offer strangers whatever they request. These angry townsmen were out for blood and Lot offered his daughters bc that’s what he thought the people wanted & also to protect the angels who were Lot’s guest(?) (fact check lol) Moral of the story: don’t r*pe people.
Ezekiel 16:49-50 "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.
It wasn't about the gay sex part itself. It was how they treated people and didn't give a crap. Sounds a lot like many parts of the world right now.
yeah but you missed the part about how sodom and gomorrah both get hiroshima'd and nagasaki'd by god lmao
Sodom and Gomorra wanted to r*pe these angels, I don’t think that we want to make the people right who used this story for centuries for oppressing gay people....
You totally missed David and Jonathan being legit boyfriends
“Your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women,”
@@benreu16 EDJDJD
Could it be the oldest instance of Bury Your Gays?
I thought that was Daniel, can't recall his friends name but I don't think it was Jonathan. Yeah, they were "best friends" 😏
Edit: I guess it was David and Jonathan, other people commenting here said it was David and Jonathan too
@@felipevasconcelos6736 We can't ever be sure but Patrokles/Patroclus? That one is, considering Ancient Greek culture, like basically confirmed gay
Paul, sending letters to everyone, the best example of a gay republican, all that self loathing, totally frustrated gay.
King David and Jonathan, very close friends for a lifetime, yeah right.
Judith, singlehandedly decapitated a king, I mean, a straight woman would have poisoned him, definitely gay.
Paul spent a lot of time in prison, so... yeah.
"A twink outsmarted a muscled gay." I screamed being a twink who does it all the time hahaha
You’re a gift to homosexuals everywhere!
Im gay and i fucking hate him when he disrespects other people's beliefs
Agreed
The Rise of Jesus was gay bc it was the true reveal gag. Took 3 days but he was like “surprise bitch, you thought you’d seen the last of me”
Lmao 🤣 DEAD AF LOL 😂 procrastination gay trait took him 3 days to get ready for the wig reveal! Lmao 🤣 I can’t then everyone celebrates his reveal with a holiday with eggs, what’s gayer! Lmao 🤣 you have me wheezing and side is hurting! Lol 😂
He unwrapped his chocolate bar. Then BAM! He got the golden ticket! He was saved from elimination then he went out to spill the tea like it's the last supper.
@@chastiefolstance8556 it’s chocolate….eggs!
YES- Jesus walking on water! He is all about showing off!
He mastered the art of dramatic entrances and exits-
Also, he's persecuted by the jock Romans for hanging out with his hippie all about love friends-
You skipped the part about how Samson was completely obsessed with his hair. When Delilah cut it while he was asleep he got so pissed he threw a massive temper tantrum and used his huge muscles to destroy the Temple of Dagon. He killed over 3,000 people… over a bad haircut!
@@FAE102 Technically, Samson’s hair is not the source of his power: It is his covenant with God. As a Nazarite from birth, he was granted a special covenant with God to not consume alcohol, come to contact with the dead, & have his hair cut in exchange for his strength. When he met Delilah, Delilah (part of the philistines/enemy tribe) cut his hair when she tricked him into falling asleep. When the hair was cut, the promise broke and he lost all of the gifts from God. He was captured, blinded, and shackled to the Philistine’s main temple. In an act of desperation, he asks god for forgiveness in exchange for his strength to destroy the temple. God forgives him, giving Samson his power, thus him and killing everyone inside as the temple collapsed.
That was the least accurate Bible story summary you could’ve given
Was gonna say sth along those lines
@@N0B0DYSM0THER bruh why yu gotta debate da shit like jus let it be. In da word of Rob Anderson, "that is very gay"
sisss straight guys i know care a lot moree abt their hair then gay me ahahahha
the fact that God loves everyone makes him more pansexual to me than gay
God loves everyone but is super sodge
toxic pansexual
Exactly. Pansexual Dom top stalker who is very sadistic and narcissistic.
He's not gay
First of all, loved it! I was shocked you missed David's relationship with Jonathan. Perhaps one of the few actual gay relationships in the Bible (heavily debated). Also King Saul who was Jonathan's father definitely had a daddy thing going on for David as well.
I think it’s confirmed canon that David was bi!!! At my Catholic school, I was taught that this relationship was David’s “greatest obstacle to overcome” in order to become a true follower of God 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah when Jonathan died David sang about him (musical gay) and said “my love for you is greater than my love for women” and if that ain’t gay idk what is
Man I just commented about that
Yas! I mean, in Samuel 18, where they first meet, it is written that "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." And then they describe how Jonathan pledges himself to David by "stripp[ing] himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt." Like, yeah, when I met my best friend I also started our *f r i e n d s h i p* by stripping down in front of them and giving them everything I had on me. XD
King Saul wanted to kill David for topping his son, Jonathan.
They don’t call it Jesus’ second coming for nothing! … or nutting.
Hilarious take aside, as I said to my friend, one of the 12 apostles must've been gay. Or LGBT, at least.
That's because Jesus seemed to have sought out for every representation. The every day person, the accountant, the doctor, the brothers, and more.
My friend laughed. But there's no way to tell if they were 100% straight too, right?
Based on history books, some did not marry until their final days.
Hello that was John THE BELOVED
Broooo. How could you mention David and forget his close, CLOSE 'friendship' with Jonathan?
“The connection to ghost maybe” man just the way you deliver those lines is brilliant! 😂😂
“why you being so the way you are?! Let’s like, tempt people.. end it all! Ya know? It could be fun to just like end everything.” & that is a gay mantra 🌈❤️🔥 lol samee. Loved that
Dude you're out there, and I'm here for it.
Damn, I already kept thinking to myself when I was learning about Mary in depth “that’s gay. It’s gotta be.”
at the part about Jesus’ baptism I just kept saying, “THEY’RE COUSINS, THEY’RE COUSINS”
While entertaining, you are on to something. Also, I'm a Queer Mormon and I cannot stop laughing now. Thank you for that, Rob.
I'm also a queer mormon and I'm going to have these pop into my head after every lesson now lol.
All the 12 apostles are supes gay... They left their wives and families behind to hang out with a bunch of fellow gays when they've met a hot gay guy.
Also, as books go, I feel like you would have a field day with The Lord of the Rings. The OG 'I forgot women exist so I made this accidentally super gay' fantasy novel.
You missed John!!! He was simping hard for jesus and it was mutual, and when jesus died he was like "mom, don't forget my boo, treat him like your son pls"
As a lesbian biblist theologian, I approve everything you said.
Showing this to my southern family about to start some drama and spill some sweet southern ice tea
"They were making a few"
John and Jesus being cousins: *sweet home Alabama plays in background*
I thought the same thing lmao
As a gay (bisexual transmasc) Catholic, I can confirm this
Goliath: "I want that Twink obilerated"
David: *Uno reverse card*
"Thou shalt be my beard babe" 😂😂😂😂
The three holy kings! They ARE gay. They are traveling an absurd way, following a star (we know gays love celebs and what drama they have to tell). They bring Gold as a gift to their gay friends childbirth. Maybe they are a throuple?
You forgot David and Jonathan, they're definitely a perfect couple made in heaven. Like imagine crying and kissing each other at the same time, that's soooo gay, soooo dramatic
Moses is gay! He left his hometown (Egypt) to find himself, and then comes back to try to make everyone change their beliefs too. Eventually, he just has to take the other gays with him because his hometown just won’t have it!
I'm sending this to my homophobic aunt brb
Jesus pretended to leave the party. Took the praise. And came back latter being like "guuuurl I'm baaaaaaaaaaack missed meeeeeee ?".
Also he was like "I humbly did all of this for yaaaa." and never could shut up about it.
This is gay energy at its finest.
Also Abel and Cain. If it's not a gay/straight sons story I don't know what it is.
Don't get me started on Judas.
About Judas, the Empress Gaga wrote a song about him so he is automatically a raging homosexual 🤭
That’s why it’s called Bi-ble
St. Peter! He decides who's on the guest list and who isn't. He's the first gay Matre'D.
This is brilliant LMAO.
The sheer amount of theists you have undoubtedly pissed off makes it that much better.
Jacob wrestled with God all night and walked with a limp the next morning.
Shadrach Meshach and Abednego are definitely gay. And King Nebuchadnezzar II was also gay. I mean, they wouldn't get on their knees for the man so he throws the biggest temper tantrum and orders his male servants to throw the 3 men in a furnace lol. Definitely gives off angry gay vibes. 😂❤
Literally rotfling so hard. But on a serious note, thank you for spreading awareness that the Bible isn’t as gay-hating as people may think.
Mr Anderson, you've opened my eyes. I now truly see the light. Amen. 😇
fr
I saw the title and you know I clicked immediately cause I am INTRIGUED 👽🌸✨
They weren’t erasing their sins, they were creating them! 😂😂
Bruh, David literally had a boyfriend in the bible, Jonathan. Like he says of him that he loves him more than any woman. There's no straight explanation for this.
The book of Ruth is also pretty lez
Please do "Every Shakespeare Character is Gay" next
On one hand I love it, on the other... Ain't no body got time for that! Unless you're aiming for the 2 hr season finale.
I worked with a gay manager who convinced me that Hamlet was gay (which I still believe) and I wrote an essay about it in high school. My teacher gave me a C for lack of evidence, but it was worth it.
Honestly doesn’t need to be every single character ever but just the headliners plz thx kbye
I swear Antonio and Bassanio from merchant of venice would've been such a good couple
The more i get into the video the more i believe in it
Me, who has watched the Donny Osmond Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat literally dozens of times: *oooooooooooh he DO be gay.*
Damn. He is the gayest one huh? Even has ten older brothers, that's scientifically gay AF.
I always suspected "the last supper" was actually an extremely dirty orgy. 🥵
this video gave me the gay vibes
I needed as I've been around the straights to much - a bi
Paul is gay, he never married, he was known for his adventures in Greece and Rome, he also spent many nights together with Silas and Timothy.
Solomon was gay, he was super wise. Also had an entire temple made of gold.
Moses was gay, he was spending all of his time getting yassified in the mountains, he was obsessed with snakes, he loved casting plagues on his enemies.
Yes, to the extent any Biblical character or story is true, we were there. We’ve always been there. Always.
Why can't being Gay be explained by the theory of evolution? Because gays are the the crowning glory of God's creation
Loving the yt content, glad to hear you're enjoying being here
Lmao killed him with a sling. You killing me
During the ending phase of me being a christian I legit shppied bible characters in gay ways and I'm kinda getting back into it, minus the emotional baggage from thinking you're a bad christian for doing it.
You can't tell me that David and Jonathan are not gay. There's a part of the bible that literally says that Jonathan loved David more than his own life and there are even actual theological scholars who think that Jesus was gay with the apostle John (look at the Wikipedia page on the sexuality of Jesus).
You WILL change the world, cause GOD forbid someone has to do it. You are impressive!!
This video is so controversial and I’m so here for it.
The amount of knowledge i just absorbed 💪😤✨
Okay you 100% missed Mary of Magdala being *divorced*. She refused to marry a man because he didn’t match her sexuality. And, she had a parent that wanted her to marry someone of the opposite sex.
Uhhh! The Christian story is finally spiced up! Have you started writing the script for the Netflix adaptation? Can’t wait for „Gay Bible“ Season one!!! Jesus played by Jonathan van Ness played by Benito Skinner! #Obsessed
Let’s collectively write a gay bible
I lost it at the Whale 🐋 🤣😅😂😅🤣
You forgot peter, he was IN LOVE with Jesus to the point where he left everything just for him but he always frienzoned him, and at the end he did the exact same thing Eliza did at the end of Hamilton
Elijah Was So Devoted To God That He Went Straight To Heaven From Life, Very Gay
The naked boy running from Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane is a curious scripture.
You forgot to mention Joan Crawford....unforgivable indeed.
The Bible of the Homosexuals 😇🙏🏼
an upgrade
@@RobAnderson Amen 🤲🏼
So true
im Catholic and always felt a gayish vibe from the dudes in the bible lol
you arent catholic bro stop with the blasphemy
Lmao I love this so much 🤣🤣🤣
On the third day, when the tomb was opened, jesus ruvealed himself from behind the wall and exclaimed "you all wanted a twist eh. Come on jerusalem, lets get sickening okurrrll"
I knew that the current English Bible had bad translations, but had no idea they just blatantly had some things so wrong
You forgot St. John the Apostle, “the disciple whom Jesus loved”.
Gayness "did not show up in the Bible until 1946." 🤣🏳️🌈
So if you havent noticed by now, I am currently deep in a Rob Anderson video binge… and truth be told this is the third binge… i just didnt comment before. These videos are not stupid.. they give me life…. How long does it take you to develop and write the scripts for the regular videos and the shorts? You obviously put some thought into the topics and they are well researched. And you are gorgeous.
I mean, it’s not called the Bi- ble for nothing
The serpant is gay. Hes Eves gay best friend who is always pushing her to be a bad girl.
Just found your channel and I think I love you lol 😂💓
Rename that book become bitchble 😂
Here comes all the angry Christians 😭
Let's face it: the two heteros Adam and Eve couldn't even follow one simple instruction. Adam and Steve wouldn't have f'ed up
As already mentioned David and Jonathan. The only overt and acknowledged gay relationship in the Bible OMG (PS love your work)
Rob Anderson is now my favorite person.
forgot to mention God loves drama!
Ha! This guy has totally accepted himself and the result is relatability and hilarity.
This is the most amusing Bible study I’ve ever had.
3:17 - okay, so "the immaculate conception" actually refers to MARY'S conception in the womb of St. Anne (referring to the fact that Mary was born without original sin), not Jesus' conception. personally I think Mary was an asexual icon. Mary Magdalene, though, 100% lesbian.
I don't know about "in" the Bible, but since it was written by a bunch of desert-dwelling, celibate monks, I'm pretty sure there was some backroom action going on there...
Now this is my kind of blasphemy
The devil literally requested all gay men are sent to him. Thats super gay.
Hey! The Sunday brunch (which I never do) is my day. Minus the brunch.
Me: trying to forget that John the Baptist and Jesus are cousins 😂🤣
why is no one talking about how jesus and john the baptist are COUSINS
your dog's snoring is more interesting than the original bible. you made it so much better
I totally need to share this at my MCC reading class. oh yass!
No David and Jonathan, or is that one too on the nose?
I'm a lady, and I think the video is hysterically funny
I should share this esoteric knowlege with Depp South ultraconservative church goers.