Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
hey man, this situation is really shitty but at least you get to experience a relationship, I can't get past the sex no matter what, i would kill to ta least have the privilege of losing.
1. Show integrity and reliability (follow through with your promises and learn to admit) 1:05 2. See, hear & understand (create emotional safety and stability) 3:36 3. Stay focused & disciplined 5:48 4. Take initiative and embrace leadership (taking responsibility in guiding decisions) 7:21
I only read money, money, money and money. 1. It's difficult to be reliable without money. 2. It's difficult to be emotional stable when your financial situation is negative. 3. It's difficult to be focused and disciplined when you don't make enough money on what you do. 4. It's difficult to be a leader if you don't have significantly more money than her.
My experience was everytime I slipped up, I was hammer for it as though I never did anything right. I can be showing integrity and reliability 9 out of 10 times, but that one time I didn't I then get labelled and told that I don't show integrity and I'm not reliable. A big deal is made out of the one time I slipped up. Sometime is 8-10 times and the same thing happens.
Good list, but I don't necessarily regard any of this as inherently masculine. It's attractive to have your stuff together, but this list is all including things I'd find attractive and desirable in women too. The last one is the one that seems debatble, since there persists a narrative that men lead and women follow, but I know so many women who are capable of taking initiative and leading in multiple situations. I think the idea that men "don't care" if a woman is emotionally stable, good at listening, mature, disciplined, reliable or anything else as long as she's hot is kind of a myth. Maybe it's just me, but I doubt it.
There are books on the topic of "Emotional Intelligence". I strongly recommend to any guy to look into this. Here's one tidbit - all nervous system signals reaching the brain, arrive first at the part of your brain that processes emotions, before they reach the portion of your brain that processes rational analysis, so by default, your emotional response to any situation has a head-start on how your brain 'decides' to react. If you give into impulses that are based on emotions, rather than on reasoned responses, you can get yourself into a fix, just like that. Guys, chill out, give your brain a chance to THINK IT THROUGH before you react.
Sure, but why does she get to be crazy with her emotions just because she's a woman? Shouldn't mature adults (male and female) have good control of their emotions?
@@Lonstermash Yes. I watched a video yesterday about females getting arrested for physically abusing their Husbands who obviously utilized proper restraint. It was refreshing to see nonetheless because the first thing they do in most cases is go after the man and look for ways to get HIM out of the picture even when the woman was the aggressor.
@@nobodyknows3180 One thing I noticed that really really really made my Wife mad at me when we were young and I corrected that early on in my marriage and had to work hard on it was reacting to road ragers trying to put us in danger. I would get so pissed and want to retaliate . My Wife would get so mad at me and you could tell she lost respect for me for keeping my head. I was young and full of fight but realized it really upset her when I didn’t use proper restraint. I worked in it to the point where I just got away, dropped back and didn’t take anything personal even if the other driver was clearly a lunatic but I also made it real clear to her that if I ever had to react defensively to save our lives if save our lives if someone was repeatedly trying to run us off the road or something that I would have to take measures to protect us even if it meant pitting them or using a firearm to protect ourselves. I clearly understand use of force and when you get older and mature your brain can make these types of calculations faster by bypassing emotion and going straight to critical thinking skills. Yes….so a big part of masculinity is working on critical thinking skills in all areas.
Important things: 1:00 First Thing ÷ Show Integrity And Reliability; 3:30 Second Thing ÷ See, Hear, & Understand; 5:44 Third Thing ÷ Stay Focused & Disciplined; 7:17 Fourth Thing ÷ Take Initiative & Embrace Leadership; and 9:36 to summarize all the told here. Additional thing would be also Fifth Thing ÷ Be A Man With The Plan. Partly this can be also used at the fourth thing that you have told as well, Courtney. When I was listening to you Courtney, I remembered one quote that I saw. It goes like this: "Don't give up on yourself and your goals. You can be an inspiration to someone."
@@Pikawarps He provided a basic analysis. Whilst he seems to need serious help, due to doing this in nearly every video, I doubt the 5th-grade reading level was formed by an advanced AI.
@@Front-Toward-Enemy I'm not here to judge anyone. Everybody has opinions on their own, and I'm fine with that. I'm saying again that the divide sign is also used as a - or as : in my language where I come from. Also I'm trying to be different, and not to do the copy - paste things. Some of you will like that, and some of you won't like that (an both things are normal). If you don't like that, then go find something amusing for you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, thank you very much. Also thank you all for giving me attention (since some of you do have to read the instructions how does YT algorithm works).
Another excellent video, Courtney. Your first point about maintaining integrity in your relationships is so important. A lot of men expect to be viewed as trustworthy without acting in a way that's worthy of trust.
Another way to be more masculine is to establish boundaries with your partner in a firm and healthy manner. You don’t want to be a toxic asshat, but women typically find men who have boundaries and who wont tolerate bullshit to be sexy. It shows you have a sense of dignity/respect for yourself, which comes across as masculine and attractive
There's definitely some norms and standards if we all decide what's masculine and the other person doesn't like it or what not you can't just keep thinking "I'm being true to myself therefore I'm masculine" I think there's a bigger underlying question that needs to be answered and not just the surface be true to yourself. Just sounds like a green light to be how you want without considering what the other person wants or likes.
Courtney, you said that when a man is more masculine it allows the woman to feel more feminine. I would love to hear an elaboration on that. What authentic behaviors do we see when a woman feels free to be her most feminine?
When a man is more masculine it can, repeat, can, make a woman feel more comfortable in that she's not going to be taken advantage of because she acts more feminine and she feels more safe when she makes herself more feminine when going out. It's the he'll take care of me sort of vibe. She will feel more submissive in a good way. However, not all women have it in them to be truly feminine. Some are too far gone in the feminist mindset and think femininity is weakness. Some were just raised in a way that they became tomboys and that's their personality. On the other hand, almost all women are prone to being more compliant and submissive when they feel safe and loved and like their man is always going to be their for them. Sometimes it's more of a trust and integrity issue than purely a masculine frame sort of issue. Because if you're masculine but not trustworthy she still won't feel safe enough to relax and be a lady.
Integrity is the one thing I stress the most in anyone from the moment they enter to the moment they exit my life. Plus, as a veteran, this was drilled hard into me throughout my career in the military! Applying it everywhere is no different. You watch what people do, not what they say!
Autistic man here, so I view human interactions quite differently. With that said, every point you mention are traits I look for in women. How are the traits you describe exclusively in the domain of the man? Please do make a video in the same vein that describes femininity--perhaps including how these differ. Despite this, I think you're absolutely spot on in your description of masculinity. It is revealing to see a woman in 2024 give such a detailed analysis of masculinity without calling us 'toxic.' If I could Thanos-snap my finger and give every woman alive the attitude and mentality you've cultivated, the man vs. woman culture war would end overnight.
Exactly, the same traits apply to women and they're not solely attributed to one of the genders. It's actually norms for both. Mabye in different ways, respecting indiviudal and gender (role and biologic) specific specialities. So in a autistic definition think of a more complex world that has a lot of colors and shades. Like quantums, they're not binary, they are in a undefined state until measured (they have an internal state but we enforce a state to the outside between the four quarters by measuring). Just be yourself, autistic friend.
I agree with the four points you listed, and I encourage everyone to keep an open mind when watching this video. Whether you are single or not, the points listed in this video are things that a person ought to be doing in their own daily lives. Commit to your goals, be personable with others, adopt proactive habits, give yourself some space when you need it, and be ready to step up. These are some of the many keys to keeping your life in order.
Good video Courtney. I never have been in a relationship. I dated a few girl's in highschool and college. However working hard and paying bill's took over in Highschool. I think that i have all the traits you listed in your video and the most important value that i was taught at an early age by family, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Hope you have a great Sunday Courtney. God Bless.
More than half of these traits apply to women as well and have nothing to do with masculinity alone, but are instead markers of commitment and honesty.
@@LonstermashCertainly these aren't standards or characteristics ONLY applied to men. Obviously a woman has to have that kind of maturity herself if she expects her boyfriend or husband to be on that level or she has expectations of being treated like a mature woman
@@Mrs.Deanna_Ember you'd think. But then why label these characteristics as "masculine?" To me, that indicates if you want a feminine woman (which most of us do want), she won't have these characteristics by definition
VERY good video CR! nailed the essence of masculinity. The emotional protection is a 10! So many women out there have been badly damaged by boys masquerading as men and calling themselves Men. Who you spend your time around defines you.
Don’t make any promises you can’t keep. Maybe’s often are interpreted as yes. Don’t assume when there’s a high probability of being incorrect. Better to ask within reason, be genuine, it’s appreciated. Women appreciate being real. Makes her feel safe and she can blossom in her femininities. Careful with her reasonable expectations. Call her on her unrealistic expectations and any hypocrisy. Shared triumphs over adversity make couple trust and respect, it’s a great foundation for a healthy relationship
My last relationship was destroyed by taking initiative and leadership. She was very introverted and submissive, but had an underlying stubbornness to “resist” my initiative because she was raised with the “I don’t need no man” mentality. I’ve actually noticed that among many women I’ve talked to. So I stopped, and it resulted in us just sitting around all day doing nothing and accomplishing nothing.
that probably falls more into the section of empathy, emotional communication and emotional intelligence. Talking to her, making her understand your feelings, instead of stepping her over by "leadership". A great leader knows where the shoe pinches. Leader is not dicatorship, it's democratic agreement between the parties.
1:00 In modern psychology, the traits you describe are called "conscientiousness," one of the "Big 5." It's the C in the OCEAN factors. It's arguably the most important for life success.
Your emphasis on listening to understand rather than react reminded me of the fundamental attribution error. Sometimes, men assume their partner’s complaints are personal attacks, rather than recognizing them as expressions of needs. I coached someone who had this exact issue, always getting defensive instead of trying to understand. Once he learned to listen actively, his relationship improved drastically.
I appreciate these particular aspects of masculinity are emphasized as opposed to things like physical protection and driving while on dates. I understand how lots of women want a man who can drive and physically protect because both of them display leadership, but it always diminishes my confidence a little bit when I hear it because I cannot see, so I cannot do these things like a sighted person can. However, I can display integrity, emotional protection, and initiative as long as I practice them regularly. Perhaps my lack of sight could even work to my advantage when it comes to initiative and getting what I want in a respectful manner. Thank you as always.
I'm sure I share this mindset with lots of men in which we believe or think women expect too much of us men but from an evolutionary perspective it makes perfect sense and it makes me have more empathy for women in this regard and this long post just really summed it up perfectly. Men’s “Survival Needs”: Production, Reproduction = Survival. Women’s “Survival Needs”: being protected, being provided for, Reproduction = Survival. So our sexual selection process-and thus our attraction process-, as in, what causes men and women to be attracted to one another in human mating, relationships, heterosexual couples, is dictated by our evolutionary survival goals and needs, whether you believe in evolution or God’s design for us or not. And as you can see, women have more “survival goals” or needs than men do. Men were designed to essentially to be able to produce and provide on their own, and protect themselves. Whereaswomen were designed to need and depend on the man for those things. This is why women are a bit more complicated and harder to attract, seduce than men are. Another way to put it, that is why men have to work much harder than women do in order to attract a mate. I'm sure for all time there have always been more male Wizards than female Wizards, I think even genetic research has confirmed that we have far more women ancestors than men ancestors
Having a feminine woman is very attractive. Too many women these days seem to want to act masculine for some reason. I'm not entirely sure why. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who is confident yet has a softness about her.
Who decides what masculinity really is? Is there really any one generic answer? How can a woman tell a man how to be more masculine anymore than a man can tell a woman how to be more feminine?Perhaps we each have to work out for ourselves what kind of man we are? Perhaps that is the journey all is men are on? Find your own way, I say.
Good advice for men in "relationships". Masculinity looks very different for men who aren't particularly looking for a "relationship" as defined by late 20's - late 30's women, Your first several examples have little to do with "masculinity", just being a stable man. Being dominant, leading, and setting boundaries are what many 20- to 40-something women see as masculine. Masculine men are rare.
Very important: "dominance" does not mean stepping over her boundaries or harming her/them. It's a respectful push forward, a proposal, ending with a agreement with all people in the relationship (usually a mutual agreement).
Admitting your wrong is tough for some people. I have a job where I deal with people are the time and I rarely see people admit they're wrong. This takes character to admit you're wrong.
@@Varonno That's right get a life. Women would appreciate it more if you spent your time being more productive with your life instead of pointing out a person's mistake.
Hi Courtney, have you ever considered having a discussion together with Dr. Orion Taraban, James Sexton, and Melanie King? I think that it’s great that you’re helping men to do better in dating, but I believe that women could use your help as well. They seemed to be lost as well.
I'm just glad I watched this before I go to sleep really helps 😮❤🎉 Have to be honest I've got to the time in my life where I'll do anything for TV or go out and try and get a physical partner. Yes a woman, I think people need to understand the real Alexander Jake Lodge here. Is the man looking to improve myself for any woman My masculine traits are not to be tampered with I know this and i'm wise enough to know that it's my choice to be famous or have a good status in life. No one can change my mind, dreams or visions to that wonderful woman I want to take out for shopping, ora travels, shopping trips and cuddle up in a sofa and watch Netflix from her TV 😂😮😊 I will master this and you can't do anything about it, I am the leader that yet still every woman is yet to admire. Can't quite understand that we are still in 2024 and apparently our future on the human race is all up to what Alexander Jake Lodge chooses
Have integrity, be responsible, be empathetic, be loyal, give safety, security, respect, reliability, trust, vulnerability... aaaaaand - you will get friend zoned, cheated on, ghosted, dumped and if you were dumb enough to get married - you will find yourself divorced for it - all for her to only land in a toxic, irresponsible, risky, dangerous and unstable idiom with the BAD BOY in very short order. play as you will - there are fields of 'nice guys' buried in the wake of behaving with this advice - don't let it be you.
Just started watching your videos this year, really appreciate your perspective! You have great values and don't sugarcoat what needs to be said. These videos do a great job at inspiring me, and are a perfect example of teaching people the right way to get after life. Keep up the great work!
The leadership part seems dangerous to me. I hear that a lot. It seems that many women want to be lead, but only in a direction they tell you. Makes no sense at all. I would prefer mutual respect on eyelevel. If leadership is required in specific situations, the one who is more secure in the situation should take the lead, or what do you think? Sometimes I'm good with leading, but sometimes I would like to have the burden taken and to be lead by my partner I trust (theoretically spoken, I'm single). Maybe it is just me.
No it's not just you. That's a natural way how things should be. Don't be afraid if she takes over for a while. It's like in parentingship. Both parties lead in a cycle. Sometimes one more, sometimes less. It's very natural and has nothing to do with your masculinity! Masculine men feel good when she's leading too. But we always keep an eye open, so she doesn't run into the next wall and we warn her of dangers, like she does with us. (please replace she if your partner is not female or woman).
Hi Courtney, Ryan happy Sunday just allow me to say this about the whole femininity and masculinity thing when I was younger, like my first year of high school and before that I grew up playing with transformers as well as Bratz and Barbie dolls, and I got my nails painted and stuff😅 because context is important. My dad dated a lot of different women and when I say that, yes he dated them but mostly slept with them and a lot of them had daughters that were my age and younger. My dad grabbed me by my shirt and made it very clear that he was trying to impress these women because he wanted to sleep with them so I was just told essentially to shut up and do whatever was asked of me so yes that’s how I ended up playing with brats and Barbies when I was younger and having my nails painted and stuff which was perfectly OK with objected to was having my choices/freedom/decisions/options forcibly removed from me beyond that that particular aspect that was a fun and happy part of my childhood❤ just thought I would say that great video as always✅
Re: dating apps. If you combine filters and makeup, near 100% of the women on there are not at all what they seem. In fact their facial structure is completely altered and fake.
Look at this woman. Wearing a pokadot summer dress. I love it. Smooth skin, diamond ring and a watch? Lol. Her hair is jet black hairline which is asian, native american or latina. Very attractive. I don't talk a lot-there you go, lol. On my grandmothers side (DNA) the women decide who the Chief will be.
First I have to say; What a lovely dress you are wearing today Courtney. You always look so elegantly dressed. You walk your talk. "Chef's kiss" on this one. Agree with all you've said here. I would like to add to "Leadership"... The ability to say NO. To be able to tell your love NO. NO because it will bust our budget. NO because "I" don't do that. NO because you know I've never liked them/her/him. Your masculine presence disappears to her if you never say NO to her "thoughtfully". Your masculinity foundation in a relationship context is firmly based on consistency. If she regularly turns your NO into a yes, you've got work to do. It is OK to say yes if you want to, of course you can. Just make sure that the "yes" also lines up with YOUR intent/desire/concerns/hard stops, not just hers. Be her consistent ROCK to lean on. Not her pliable jello.
I really enjoy your videos, and have for a few years. Have learned a lot. However I think it would be nice if once in a while you would do videos on things that WOMEN could/should do to be better partners, or more attractive, etc for/to men (From a woman's perspective). I get that the majority of your audience is men, but relationships take TWO people, so why should it always be up to the man to do what's necessary to make it work, or make it better, or only HE has to work at making HER Happy? What about things she could do, or work on to make HIM happy? Just a thought/suggestion.
Yeah, this is the real issue. The opposite sex is more judgmental than a klan meeting, pretty much, and with about as much representation of their actual face as well.
I have a question. Please answer it. If you are giving your audience all the "secrets" or "insights" or "tips" on how to be this and how to be that, what independent thinking are they going to apply on their own? If you are doing all the homework for them, what creative ideas and independent judgment will they apply? Wouldn't it be artificial and unoriginal to just listen to your videos and "apply" your ideas to real-life scenarios? Shouldn't people think for themselves and not just do what others are telling them to do? What would you say?
4. Theres A LOT of gray area in number 4. A LOT. Because everyone leads in different capacities. "Leadership" is a hilariously ambiguous and open-ended concept.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
hey man, this situation is really shitty but at least you get to experience a relationship, I can't get past the sex no matter what, i would kill to ta least have the privilege of losing.
1. Show integrity and reliability (follow through with your promises and learn to admit) 1:05
2. See, hear & understand (create emotional safety and stability) 3:36
3. Stay focused & disciplined 5:48
4. Take initiative and embrace leadership (taking responsibility in guiding decisions) 7:21
I only read money, money, money and money. 1. It's difficult to be reliable without money. 2. It's difficult to be emotional stable when your financial situation is negative. 3. It's difficult to be focused and disciplined when you don't make enough money on what you do. 4. It's difficult to be a leader if you don't have significantly more money than her.
My experience was everytime I slipped up, I was hammer for it as though I never did anything right. I can be showing integrity and reliability 9 out of 10 times, but that one time I didn't I then get labelled and told that I don't show integrity and I'm not reliable. A big deal is made out of the one time I slipped up. Sometime is 8-10 times and the same thing happens.
Good list, but I don't necessarily regard any of this as inherently masculine. It's attractive to have your stuff together, but this list is all including things I'd find attractive and desirable in women too. The last one is the one that seems debatble, since there persists a narrative that men lead and women follow, but I know so many women who are capable of taking initiative and leading in multiple situations. I think the idea that men "don't care" if a woman is emotionally stable, good at listening, mature, disciplined, reliable or anything else as long as she's hot is kind of a myth. Maybe it's just me, but I doubt it.
I'm all four, but you are not my type. Sorry, bub.
Mvp
Staying calm and less emotional in difficult situations is super masculine, very true. You can’t be more emotional than your girlfriend.
There are books on the topic of "Emotional Intelligence". I strongly recommend to any guy to look into this. Here's one tidbit - all nervous system signals reaching the brain, arrive first at the part of your brain that processes emotions, before they reach the portion of your brain that processes rational analysis, so by default, your emotional response to any situation has a head-start on how your brain 'decides' to react. If you give into impulses that are based on emotions, rather than on reasoned responses, you can get yourself into a fix, just like that. Guys, chill out, give your brain a chance to THINK IT THROUGH before you react.
Sure, but why does she get to be crazy with her emotions just because she's a woman? Shouldn't mature adults (male and female) have good control of their emotions?
@@Lonstermash
Yes.
I watched a video yesterday about females getting arrested for physically abusing their Husbands who obviously utilized proper restraint.
It was refreshing to see nonetheless because the first thing they do in most cases is go after the man and look for ways to get HIM out of the picture even when the woman was the aggressor.
@@nobodyknows3180
One thing I noticed that really really really made my Wife mad at me when we were young and I corrected that early on in my marriage and had to work hard on it was reacting to road ragers trying to put us in danger.
I would get so pissed and want to retaliate .
My Wife would get so mad at me and you could tell she lost respect for me for keeping my head.
I was young and full of fight but realized it really upset her when I didn’t use proper restraint.
I worked in it to the point where I just got away, dropped back and didn’t take anything personal even if the other driver was clearly a lunatic but I also made it real clear to her that if I ever had to react defensively to save our lives if save our lives if someone was repeatedly trying to run us off the road or something that I would have to take measures to protect us even if it meant pitting them or using a firearm to protect ourselves.
I clearly understand use of force and when you get older and mature your brain can make these types of calculations faster by bypassing emotion and going straight to critical thinking skills.
Yes….so a big part of masculinity is working on critical thinking skills in all areas.
@@Lonstermash What?!?!? You dare hold females accountable? You ARE brave!!!!
Setting clear, reasonable boundaries in a relationship and be willing to walk away if the boundaries are violated.
Important things: 1:00 First Thing ÷ Show Integrity And Reliability; 3:30 Second Thing ÷ See, Hear, & Understand; 5:44 Third Thing ÷ Stay Focused & Disciplined; 7:17 Fourth Thing ÷ Take Initiative & Embrace Leadership; and 9:36 to summarize all the told here.
Additional thing would be also Fifth Thing ÷ Be A Man With The Plan. Partly this can be also used at the fourth thing that you have told as well, Courtney.
When I was listening to you Courtney, I remembered one quote that I saw. It goes like this: "Don't give up on yourself and your goals. You can be an inspiration to someone."
at least credit the ai you used to make this
@@Pikawarps Well I'm not artificial intelligence if you mean on that.
@@Pikawarps He provided a basic analysis. Whilst he seems to need serious help, due to doing this in nearly every video, I doubt the 5th-grade reading level was formed by an advanced AI.
DDD11239 is a bot. A rather stupid one too. I suspect he runs on Windows Vista.
@@Front-Toward-Enemy I'm not here to judge anyone. Everybody has opinions on their own, and I'm fine with that. I'm saying again that the divide sign is also used as a - or as : in my language where I come from.
Also I'm trying to be different, and not to do the copy - paste things. Some of you will like that, and some of you won't like that (an both things are normal). If you don't like that, then go find something amusing for you.
Constructive criticism is always welcome, thank you very much.
Also thank you all for giving me attention (since some of you do have to read the instructions how does YT algorithm works).
I live by Honor, Courage and Commitment. So far it hasn't really failed me yet.
Rah
Another excellent video, Courtney. Your first point about maintaining integrity in your relationships is so important. A lot of men expect to be viewed as trustworthy without acting in a way that's worthy of trust.
Yet, we should "trust all women"?
🤌🏼 thank you so much!
Another way to be more masculine is to establish boundaries with your partner in a firm and healthy manner. You don’t want to be a toxic asshat, but women typically find men who have boundaries and who wont tolerate bullshit to be sexy. It shows you have a sense of dignity/respect for yourself, which comes across as masculine and attractive
I strongly agree.
+1 this should have been number 1 in the video
exactly. set your boundaries. don't let them exploit you and be a (most possible) healthy individual.
Set your boundaries sounds so ridiculous .
Why don’t you give an example buddy!
Set your boundaries sounds so ridiculous .
Why don’t you give an example buddy!
I think the best way to be masculine in a relationship is to be authentic and true to yourself.
Because feminine women can't be authentic and true to themselves?
❤️
There's definitely some norms and standards if we all decide what's masculine and the other person doesn't like it or what not you can't just keep thinking "I'm being true to myself therefore I'm masculine" I think there's a bigger underlying question that needs to be answered and not just the surface be true to yourself. Just sounds like a green light to be how you want without considering what the other person wants or likes.
Unless yourself is feminine
CAN’T be masculine if you aren’t 6’5”…
Courtney, you said that when a man is more masculine it allows the woman to feel more feminine. I would love to hear an elaboration on that. What authentic behaviors do we see when a woman feels free to be her most feminine?
yeah, we need this video. I'll work myself to be more masculine so my wife would be more feminine.
When a man is more masculine it can, repeat, can, make a woman feel more comfortable in that she's not going to be taken advantage of because she acts more feminine and she feels more safe when she makes herself more feminine when going out. It's the he'll take care of me sort of vibe. She will feel more submissive in a good way. However, not all women have it in them to be truly feminine. Some are too far gone in the feminist mindset and think femininity is weakness. Some were just raised in a way that they became tomboys and that's their personality. On the other hand, almost all women are prone to being more compliant and submissive when they feel safe and loved and like their man is always going to be their for them. Sometimes it's more of a trust and integrity issue than purely a masculine frame sort of issue. Because if you're masculine but not trustworthy she still won't feel safe enough to relax and be a lady.
@@tobeywan8331and some women don't want to be "feminine." They want to be Boss Babes and ball busters
@@davep2945 yeah, I believe there are women like that because of some internal and external factors. But let's hope & pray for the best.
The first 3 have nothing to do with being masculine. Just about being a good person.
They have EVERYTHING to do with masculinity!
Agreed but to be fair she’s saying how chicks see it. For them that trait that’s being a good person is also being a masculine guy.
Man, you are SO close to getting it
THANK YOU!! That's exactly what I wrote. And, honestly, I think the 4th should apply to both men and women.
@@tornadoman25so, basically, we have to allow grown women to act like children. Got it
Integrity is the one thing I stress the most in anyone from the moment they enter to the moment they exit my life. Plus, as a veteran, this was drilled hard into me throughout my career in the military! Applying it everywhere is no different. You watch what people do, not what they say!
Love this. Thanks Tommy!
@@CourtneyRyan always a pleasure
Integrity is a rare trait these days.
Autistic man here, so I view human interactions quite differently.
With that said, every point you mention are traits I look for in women. How are the traits you describe exclusively in the domain of the man? Please do make a video in the same vein that describes femininity--perhaps including how these differ.
Despite this, I think you're absolutely spot on in your description of masculinity. It is revealing to see a woman in 2024 give such a detailed analysis of masculinity without calling us 'toxic.'
If I could Thanos-snap my finger and give every woman alive the attitude and mentality you've cultivated, the man vs. woman culture war would end overnight.
Reality is often disappointing
Exactly, the same traits apply to women and they're not solely attributed to one of the genders. It's actually norms for both. Mabye in different ways, respecting indiviudal and gender (role and biologic) specific specialities. So in a autistic definition think of a more complex world that has a lot of colors and shades. Like quantums, they're not binary, they are in a undefined state until measured (they have an internal state but we enforce a state to the outside between the four quarters by measuring). Just be yourself, autistic friend.
@@fiopodcast9085 there's no reality, everything we humans grasp is a theory we build around a world we can't properly see or understand.
Being authentic and true to yourself is the best way
Well said, Courtney! 💝
Honestly I think that these four things are pretty valid. Thanks Courtney for your womanly insight.
It’s my pleasure! ❤️
@@CourtneyRyan You bet.
You are a women who respects her self & it shows . Great Video 💆🏾♂️💯
Happy Sunday.😊
😐
You too!🥰🥰
I agree with the four points you listed, and I encourage everyone to keep an open mind when watching this video. Whether you are single or not, the points listed in this video are things that a person ought to be doing in their own daily lives. Commit to your goals, be personable with others, adopt proactive habits, give yourself some space when you need it, and be ready to step up. These are some of the many keys to keeping your life in order.
Happy Sunday, Courtney and Fellow Viewers! Wishing everyone a wonderful start to the new week!
Aww you too! 🥰
Loser
@@CourtneyRyan is masculinity traits in a man attractive unattractive to you what about femininity traits in a man
Good video Courtney. I never have been in a relationship. I dated a few girl's in highschool and college. However working hard and paying bill's took over in Highschool. I think that i have all the traits you listed in your video and the most important value that i was taught at an early age by family, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Hope you have a great Sunday Courtney. God Bless.
You are a great communicator and I respect your content.
Happy Sunday much blessings to you. I definitely agree 💯 with the advices as always. Plus Love the classic looks. Chef's kiss 🤌
You’ve said it perfectly. Thank you. Also, I think these are universal. They work well for guys and girls.
More than half of these traits apply to women as well and have nothing to do with masculinity alone, but are instead markers of commitment and honesty.
Exactly! It's called common human decency. And women need to do it just as much as men do
@@LonstermashCertainly these aren't standards or characteristics ONLY applied to men. Obviously a woman has to have that kind of maturity herself if she expects her boyfriend or husband to be on that level or she has expectations of being treated like a mature woman
@@Mrs.Deanna_Ember you'd think. But then why label these characteristics as "masculine?" To me, that indicates if you want a feminine woman (which most of us do want), she won't have these characteristics by definition
@@Lonstermash I didn't label them as masculine. Those are characteristics of maturity in general.
@@Mrs.Deanna_Ember yes, and that's my point...WHY is a video being made that labels them as "masculine?"
thanks for the advice courtney
Thank you very much for this video, ma'am.
Integrity, honesty and kindness.
Without these you're just not dependable / reliable.
Thank you for the reminder!
VERY good video CR! nailed the essence of masculinity. The emotional protection is a 10! So many women out there have been badly damaged by boys masquerading as men and calling themselves Men. Who you spend your time around defines you.
Stop worrying about what is, "masculine". Just behave with honesty and integrity. These aren't masculine traits. They're human traits.
Please make a video on femininity.
Don’t make any promises you can’t keep. Maybe’s often are interpreted as yes.
Don’t assume when there’s a high probability of being incorrect. Better to ask within reason, be genuine, it’s appreciated. Women appreciate being real. Makes her feel safe and she can blossom in her femininities. Careful with her reasonable expectations. Call her on her unrealistic expectations and any hypocrisy. Shared triumphs over adversity make couple trust and respect, it’s a great foundation for a healthy relationship
Happy Sunday courtney I love your perspective ❤
Thank you so much 🥰
Extremely informative video !
Great advice. Also that dress looks beautiful on you.
My last relationship was destroyed by taking initiative and leadership. She was very introverted and submissive, but had an underlying stubbornness to “resist” my initiative because she was raised with the “I don’t need no man” mentality. I’ve actually noticed that among many women I’ve talked to. So I stopped, and it resulted in us just sitting around all day doing nothing and accomplishing nothing.
What it probably was is that SHE WAS LAZY and you trying to GET HER MOVING was something she was not open to.
That's really not the kind of woman you want to be with, though. You're better off.
that probably falls more into the section of empathy, emotional communication and emotional intelligence. Talking to her, making her understand your feelings, instead of stepping her over by "leadership". A great leader knows where the shoe pinches. Leader is not dicatorship, it's democratic agreement between the parties.
Great tips...always Courtney!
Thank you ❤️
1:00 In modern psychology, the traits you describe are called "conscientiousness," one of the "Big 5." It's the C in the OCEAN factors.
It's arguably the most important for life success.
Helpful tip. If you call it date night and make it a schedule thing your relationship is on the rocks.
Thank you !
the book that changed everything for me was Magnetic Aura from Borlest
Thank you!!
Thanks
Your emphasis on listening to understand rather than react reminded me of the fundamental attribution error. Sometimes, men assume their partner’s complaints are personal attacks, rather than recognizing them as expressions of needs. I coached someone who had this exact issue, always getting defensive instead of trying to understand. Once he learned to listen actively, his relationship improved drastically.
Consistency is king
I am consistently unreliable. 😅
@@rtothec1234 Haha if you are consistently wrong then you know that it's definitely wrong. You, not a confused guy haha
On both sides
I appreciate these particular aspects of masculinity are emphasized as opposed to things like physical protection and driving while on dates. I understand how lots of women want a man who can drive and physically protect because both of them display leadership, but it always diminishes my confidence a little bit when I hear it because I cannot see, so I cannot do these things like a sighted person can. However, I can display integrity, emotional protection, and initiative as long as I practice them regularly. Perhaps my lack of sight could even work to my advantage when it comes to initiative and getting what I want in a respectful manner. Thank you as always.
With all do RESPECT🫡 ur blouse absolutely💯(Super classy and FEMININE)MATCHES ur way u approach this messed up dating scene.#THANKU
Thank you for promoting masculinity
I'm sure I share this mindset with lots of men in which we believe or think women expect too much of us men but from an evolutionary perspective it makes perfect sense and it makes me have more empathy for women in this regard and this long post just really summed it up perfectly.
Men’s “Survival Needs”: Production, Reproduction = Survival.
Women’s “Survival Needs”: being protected, being provided for, Reproduction = Survival.
So our sexual selection process-and thus our attraction process-, as in, what causes men and women to be attracted to one another in human mating, relationships, heterosexual couples, is dictated
by our evolutionary survival goals and needs, whether you believe in evolution or God’s design for us or not.
And as you can see, women have more “survival goals” or needs than men do. Men were designed to essentially to be able to produce and provide on their own, and protect themselves.
Whereaswomen were designed to need and depend on the man for those things. This is why women are a bit more complicated and harder to attract, seduce than men are.
Another way to put it, that is why men have to work much harder than women do in order to attract a mate.
I'm sure for all time there have always been more male Wizards than female Wizards, I think even genetic research has confirmed that we have far more women ancestors than men ancestors
Having a feminine woman is very attractive. Too many women these days seem to want to act masculine for some reason. I'm not entirely sure why. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who is confident yet has a softness about her.
Leading is key of masculinity 👍
❣️❣️
Then following should be the key to femininity, right?
@@pace1195 Not always.
Life's a dance
You learn as you go
Sometimes you lead
Sometimes you follow
--John Michael Montgomery's "Life's a Dance"
Arriving early today, direct from Brazil
Yay!
I ❤ what you’re wearing. Where did you buy it?
Thanks Court! It’s from Reformation ❤️
Thanks so much. Know I will be an Alfa Man with this and will present more masculinity 😊
How to be more masculine???
Just Have the Balls to walk away!!
Have better options than her is the only way to keep a woman, if you do not, she will walk away ;)
@@bandita2068hmm... True
Nice outfit! Keep them coming!
Who decides what masculinity really is? Is there really any one generic answer? How can a woman tell a man how to be more masculine anymore than a man can tell a woman how to be more feminine?Perhaps we each have to work out for ourselves what kind of man we are? Perhaps that is the journey all is men are on? Find your own way, I say.
Good advice for men in "relationships". Masculinity looks very different for men who aren't particularly looking for a "relationship" as defined by late 20's - late 30's women, Your first several examples have little to do with "masculinity", just being a stable man. Being dominant, leading, and setting boundaries are what many 20- to 40-something women see as masculine. Masculine men are rare.
Very important: "dominance" does not mean stepping over her boundaries or harming her/them. It's a respectful push forward, a proposal, ending with a agreement with all people in the relationship (usually a mutual agreement).
Thank you for busting out old school polka dots. Classic!
Who do you recommend for someone who has similar content to yours but geared towards women? Like How to be more feminine etc…
Admitting your wrong is tough for some people. I have a job where I deal with people are the time and I rarely see people admit they're wrong. This takes character to admit you're wrong.
Absolutely. Thanks for sharing this!
I am. You are. I’m /you’re. Ladies appreciate the grammar
@@Varonno Get a life. It's like you never made typo's.
@@Varonno That's right get a life. Women would appreciate it more if you spent your time being more productive with your life instead of pointing out a person's mistake.
@@VideoGameRoom32Yes, I can admit and you can edit. Follow your own insights, and show intelligence. Hypocrite?
I can agree with most of what is says maybe not all of it but most of it I do.
what a beautiful dress
Hi Courtney, have you ever considered having a discussion together with Dr. Orion Taraban, James Sexton, and Melanie King? I think that it’s great that you’re helping men to do better in dating, but I believe that women could use your help as well. They seemed to be lost as well.
I'm just glad I watched this before I go to sleep really helps 😮❤🎉 Have to be honest I've got to the time in my life where I'll do anything for TV or go out and try and get a physical partner. Yes a woman, I think people need to understand the real Alexander Jake Lodge here. Is the man looking to improve myself for any woman
My masculine traits are not to be tampered with I know this and i'm wise enough to know that it's my choice to be famous or have a good status in life. No one can change my mind, dreams or visions to that wonderful woman I want to take out for shopping, ora travels, shopping trips and cuddle up in a sofa and watch Netflix from her TV 😂😮😊
I will master this and you can't do anything about it, I am the leader that yet still every woman is yet to admire. Can't quite understand that we are still in 2024 and apparently our future on the human race is all up to what Alexander Jake Lodge chooses
By working out
I really like your top. Very elegant!
IT ALL BEGINS WITH TRUST ON PLANET EARTH 🌎🌎🌎😊
If am a leader that means that there needs to be a follower. Have you seen all the boss bee women lately?
I've been criticized by women as being too honest
They want honesty....but only if it's what they want to hear......so actually they don't want honesty but the word sounds good so they use it.
Have integrity, be responsible, be empathetic, be loyal, give safety, security, respect, reliability, trust, vulnerability... aaaaaand - you will get friend zoned, cheated on, ghosted, dumped and if you were dumb enough to get married - you will find yourself divorced for it - all for her to only land in a toxic, irresponsible, risky, dangerous and unstable idiom with the BAD BOY in very short order. play as you will - there are fields of 'nice guys' buried in the wake of behaving with this advice - don't let it be you.
Just started watching your videos this year, really appreciate your perspective! You have great values and don't sugarcoat what needs to be said. These videos do a great job at inspiring me, and are a perfect example of teaching people the right way to get after life. Keep up the great work!
Yes do a video about femininity from a self aware woman with a growth mindset. The 1% if you will.
The leadership part seems dangerous to me. I hear that a lot. It seems that many women want to be lead, but only in a direction they tell you. Makes no sense at all. I would prefer mutual respect on eyelevel. If leadership is required in specific situations, the one who is more secure in the situation should take the lead, or what do you think? Sometimes I'm good with leading, but sometimes I would like to have the burden taken and to be lead by my partner I trust (theoretically spoken, I'm single). Maybe it is just me.
No it's not just you. That's a natural way how things should be. Don't be afraid if she takes over for a while. It's like in parentingship. Both parties lead in a cycle. Sometimes one more, sometimes less. It's very natural and has nothing to do with your masculinity! Masculine men feel good when she's leading too. But we always keep an eye open, so she doesn't run into the next wall and we warn her of dangers, like she does with us. (please replace she if your partner is not female or woman).
Hi Courtney, Ryan happy Sunday just allow me to say this about the whole femininity and masculinity thing when I was younger, like my first year of high school and before that I grew up playing with transformers as well as Bratz and Barbie dolls, and I got my nails painted and stuff😅 because context is important. My dad dated a lot of different women and when I say that, yes he dated them but mostly slept with them and a lot of them had daughters that were my age and younger. My dad grabbed me by my shirt and made it very clear that he was trying to impress these women because he wanted to sleep with them so I was just told essentially to shut up and do whatever was asked of me so yes that’s how I ended up playing with brats and Barbies when I was younger and having my nails painted and stuff which was perfectly OK with objected to was having my choices/freedom/decisions/options forcibly removed from me beyond that that particular aspect that was a fun and happy part of my childhood❤ just thought I would say that great video as always✅
Re: dating apps. If you combine filters and makeup, near 100% of the women on there are not at all what they seem. In fact their facial structure is completely altered and fake.
I think throughout this video you are perfectly listing all the qualities a man needs to be heading straight into women's friendzone.
So, if I surround myself with 5 people in a relationship, I should end up being the sixth, right ?
Right ?
Look at this woman. Wearing a pokadot summer dress. I love it. Smooth skin, diamond ring and a watch? Lol. Her hair is jet black hairline which is asian, native american or latina. Very attractive. I don't talk a lot-there you go, lol. On my grandmothers side (DNA) the women decide who the Chief will be.
I can't
train arms everyday
First I have to say; What a lovely dress you are wearing today Courtney. You always look so elegantly dressed. You walk your talk. "Chef's kiss" on this one.
Agree with all you've said here. I would like to add to "Leadership"... The ability to say NO. To be able to tell your love NO. NO because it will bust our budget. NO because "I" don't do that. NO because you know I've never liked them/her/him. Your masculine presence disappears to her if you never say NO to her "thoughtfully".
Your masculinity foundation in a relationship context is firmly based on consistency. If she regularly turns your NO into a yes, you've got work to do. It is OK to say yes if you want to, of course you can. Just make sure that the "yes" also lines up with YOUR intent/desire/concerns/hard stops, not just hers. Be her consistent ROCK to lean on. Not her pliable jello.
NOT STRINGING ALONG ON WOMEN THAT THEY'RE NOT INTO& PURSUING A WOMAN THAT THEY TRULY WANNA BE WITH.
That is a cute outfit!
Nice outfit very unique compared to what you usually wear
Thank you! It’s fun to wear something different 😂
I really enjoy your videos, and have for a few years. Have learned a lot.
However I think it would be nice if once in a while you would do videos on things that WOMEN could/should do to be better partners, or more attractive, etc for/to men (From a woman's perspective). I get that the majority of your audience is men, but relationships take TWO people, so why should it always be up to the man to do what's necessary to make it work, or make it better, or only HE has to work at making HER Happy? What about things she could do, or work on to make HIM happy?
Just a thought/suggestion.
THE REAL TRUTH WILL SET YOUR MIND FREE ON PLANET EARTH 🌎🌎🌎😊❤
Well, I'm open and honest. Guess that also makes me masculine.
Nice threads, Courtney. I like polka dot patterns on womens clothing.
Thank you! I love polka dots too, so fun!
I wish I knew what I was doing. I read post and watch videos. Is it really that hard?!?! I would train people if I could.
I like that outfit.
Nice dress .
A BetterHelp sponsorship in big 2024?
Unfortunately, most men will never be able to show these characteristics to women, as we are never able to get our feet in the door.
Yeah, this is the real issue. The opposite sex is more judgmental than a klan meeting, pretty much, and with about as much representation of their actual face as well.
All aspects of healthy masculinity summed up in one attribute: remembering to put down the toilet seat 😊
Hey Courtney Would be great to see you do some reaction vids to Orion Taraban’s stuff…
I have a question. Please answer it. If you are giving your audience all the "secrets" or "insights" or "tips" on how to be this and how to be that, what independent thinking are they going to apply on their own? If you are doing all the homework for them, what creative ideas and independent judgment will they apply? Wouldn't it be artificial and unoriginal to just listen to your videos and "apply" your ideas to real-life scenarios? Shouldn't people think for themselves and not just do what others are telling them to do? What would you say?
Nice outfit.
4. Theres A LOT of gray area in number 4. A LOT. Because everyone leads in different capacities. "Leadership" is a hilariously ambiguous and open-ended concept.