Our Fertility Journey - IUI vs. IVF
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- Опубліковано 10 лют 2023
- A super HUGE thank you to these five special patrons: Jaiden M, Rylan A, Bailey C, JD A, and Jake B, for being some of the top tier members. As I get back into internet shenanigans, help from Patreon makes a major difference in the amount of time a resources I have to make things. If you are interested in supporting me, you can learn more here...
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This video mostly shares some basics about IUI and IVF, next week(ish) we will dive more specifically into Gray and I's experience. If anyone else (cis, trans, straight, or LGBT+) has a fertility story they would like to share (totally no pressure though, I know how much of a personal thing can be to share) I would love to read and connect in the comments =] And on a less related note, Patreon has helped a ton with getting content rolling again (and it's been fun interacting with folks!) so for those interested there is link in the description (and a little thank you to some special Patrons) ^_^
My wife and I tried IUI, but it didn't work out for us. We were going to try IVF, but most fertility clinics won't work with people above a certain BMI. We ended up adopting our daughter, which was the perfect ending to our journey to parentood because she is incredible, and I couldn't imagine everything turning out any other way ❤️ congrats to you both! We live in MN, btw. If you ever want other queer folks to playdate with, reach out! We know zero queer people with kids.
You might have already heard about this, but Jamie and Shaaba have talked about their future plans for having children a couple times, which is similar to what you were discussing
So cool to see you back! First things first: Congratulations to both you and Gray on becoming parents! Secondly, I just gotta say I love the way you edit your videos! It's always pleasant to watch & I usually also learn something new, so that's a double win 😃 Looking forward to Part 2!
yay! I don't usually edit 2nd channel videos, but it's been fun to do some light editing for this series :) plus I think some of the visuals help with understanding.
That’s how my twin siblings were born! My mom struggled with infertility so we took her eggs and had a surrogate carry them for her. And boom! Two cute little babies. I was asked if I wanted a brother or a sis and ended up getting both✨
As a twin I always say to people it is the greatest gift I’ve ever been given 😭😭 my womb mate!! My friend for life!!! I always have someone on my side~ truly it is my greatest gift ✨✨
I have absolutely no interest in having children. But i love being educated on what others might be going thru! Love you Mx. Ash!
And I strongly believe that having children OR living a child-free life are BOTH valid and valuable paths!
I had an IUI to conceive my son in 2021. Well he was number 3 and the last one before my clinic wanted to switch to IVF. We had been trying the old fashioned way for almost 3 years before I got a job that covered fertility treatments. He’ll be turning 1 this month!
I am in a relationship with two uteruses as well, we are at a point where we are thinking of getting married and maybe start a family and all that fun stuff... I have never heard anyone explain IUI and IVF so succinctly, I feel like I finally understand lol. You have such a way to explain things that is accesible, kind and smart. Excited to learn more about your journey! Sending love your way!
Just some interesting info for those interested in IUI - the success rate of IUI is 10-20% but after 3 rounds it jumps to 30-60%.
Mmmmm…we did 14 rounds with no success 🙃 …that’s weird though, I wonder why it jumps like that?
@@HeyThere005 my daughter was the lucky one & was pregnant first go. She didn’t tell me she was doing IUI as she wanted to surprise me, at the time I was very unaware how this all worked. When she told me she was pregnant, I was so happy & so confused, all I could ask was how?? We all know 2 eggs don’t make babies 😊
@@HeyThere005 I think it has to do with being timing and upping the chance of getting it right. I'm so sorry it didn't work for you. Infertility/fertility troubles are so difficult, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope you found success with another method.
I don't think this series could get too long, I'm really thankful that you want to share your experiencies with us, and to me the rumbly just means more real, so please just keep being awesome and doing awesome videos. Thanks as well for the terminology warning/clarification!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! I am so happy to see you back on UA-cam! Your videos helped me come out! Now I am married in a wlw relationship.
Awwww SO happy for you, that's wonderful
Welcome back!!!! And congrats on the additions of 2 bumpkins (that’s what my mama called babies so welcome to the fam 😊)
This bringing back a lot of memories for me! I'm so glad it worked out for you. I had a kid on my own (they're 16 now), using a sperm donor. I was 38 when I got pregnant, so it was a "high risk" pregnancy, but the pregnancy was the easy part. It took me about a year to get pregnant. I tried IUI first, for 11 cycles, including three stimulated cycles where I blasted through a bunch of eggs. None of that worked. Then the doctor switched me over to IVF, and I got pregnant on the first cycle. Only one of the two embryos made it, but that was all I wanted! I felt very lucky. I was in "whatever it takes" mode at that point, but I'm not sure I could have done IVF again. I can't wait to hear the rest of your story!
Not so relevant to this video, but a few years back my niece was struggling with her gender identity, and being the cool aunt I am I bought her your book! She loved it and it's still so valuable to her.
The coolest thing, to me, about Co-IVF is that even though the sperm and egg are not genetically from the pregnant person, the kids can actually end up with some of the genes from the pregnant person just due to the intermingling of genetic material in the womb.
Welcome back! Thanks for being willing to share your story with us
I can't afford adoption, IVF, or IUI, but at least I'm married to someone I can definitely make kids with. No, I'm not looking forward to the pregnancy, labor, and all the complications that come with it, but I'll put up with it if that means I can have a kid at the end of it all. Congratulations! I'm sure this journey wasn't easy, but you came through it!
I am so happy to have found your channels again! You both were the reason I was able to come out and love myself the way I am (I also may have been name inspired by Gray when picking my chosen name). I am 13 wks pregnant now as my true self (We got VERY lucky and were able to get pregnant first try with at home insemination) and I swear finding your channels again now is the universe bringing me back to share the joy!
You are such a joy, a beam of light radiating out to touch so many. Really, your experience will help people trying to figure things out and to not feel alone. Deep thanks and double everything to you and Grayson!! Can't wait for more, at your own pace.
Thank you for sharing your story! And nice to see you again after all this time! Sending you good vibes from Belgium 🇧🇪
Don't worry about it being rambley, I don't mind! It was a fun video and it seemed very genuine!
It took my wife and I 4 1/2 years to get pregnant. We did ici, and iui(we even had 3 failed adoptions). this was our last cycle of Ici, before IVF was going to be our final option, when we got pregnant with our little that is currently 31 weeks gestation. Ici is essentially iui without doctors. You do the whole process on your own at home. We also did other methods of ici. We did ai (artificial insemination) and pi (partial insemination). I was the the one trying and ended up carrying even though my wife tried a couple cycles. We went through lots of fertility medications even took out a loan to be able to continue treatment. But it was definitely worth it!
Crongrats to you and Gray on becoming parents!🌸 As a 29y/o afab non-binary person myself, I really do hope I'll be able to have kids one day, and preferably before I'm 35. I'd also like to have twins, mainly because I don't think I could handle being pregnant twice due to the dysphoria, but also because we've got twins running on the paternal side of my family _(2 sets of twins out of my dad's 6 siblings, and I'm prreetty sure that his dad, my paternal granddad that is, who had a whopping total of TEN siblings- working class family in the 1930's-40's , you know-_ *also* _had two sets of twins among his siblings)_ and I it would be pretty cool to carry on that "tradition", or whatever to call it, you know?
Anyway, thank you for this video, I'm so glad to see you back here on UA-cam again.🌸
It always makes my day to see a new video from you!
This is AMAZING! I’m so happy and grateful you are sharing this with us. it’s so meaningful. thank you!! looking forward to the next one!
I love hearing you talk about your kids! It feels like you're sharing something magical with us.
I was an IVF baby (my parents were a cis man and cis woman but they weren’t able to get pregnant the “standard” way) and they had to use an embryo that was “put up for adoption” after another couple did IVF and had leftover embryos. So I was carried and birthed by my mom but I am not biologically related to her or my dad which is kinda cool! I was also frozen for 8 years as an embryo from when my embryo was created to when my parents took possession of the embryos and I was basically defrosted and implanted in my mom. It’s a super interesting process and I’m glad you touched on it! I’m also super interested in learning about IUI since I’ve heard about it but don’t know a ton about it. But yeah I love learning about all of these different ways people can become pregnant. It’s super cool and interesting to me so thank you for sharing your story!
Amazing! So happy you are back and really looking forward to hearing your story. I gave birth to my wife and my first baby, our son, a year ago. He was conceived through IUI which was successful on our second try. We are wanting to start the process again around the middle of this year and am not sure whether to go IUI again or go straight to IVF or how we want to do it, with managing the costs etc. It all feels like such a gamble and a lot of pressure. Although I do feel the pressure is slightly less this time around because we are parents already so even if we are unsuccessful in making another baby we are so lucky to have our beautiful boy already. Congratulations on your twins, you and Gray both look so happy in this video x
Love hearing about y’all’s journey! So happy it ended up working out for you in the end! Congratulations 💓
So happy you're back! Congratulations on everything :)
One thing I really appreciate about you making these videos is that my partner and I are talking through the process of beginning our own fertility journey and what that will look like for us. All of these terms are familiar to me because of our extensive research but it is VERY COOL to see you conceptualizing and personalizing them by sharing your experiences. I’ve always admired you and loved the content you and Grayson willingly share with us here, and I love that you’re in such a happy and good place with your family and kids now to share those experiences with me. Thank you for what you do and who you are and I’m so excited to get Part 2 of this!
it’s great to have you back ash! this video is really great, and i’m really happy for you and your family!! :D
Aww I think the world definitely needs more Ashes!!
Loved every minute of this! Thank you for sharing ❤
Can't wait to watch ever part of this journey 🌟
I'm so excited to hear more about your experience and congratulations on your babies!! Thank you for sharing with us!!
So happy you're back and SO happy to hear about the little family!!
I’m so happy that you are sharing your experience! I went through IUI for my first kiddo and the kiddo I’m currently pregnant with. Sharing your story is such a huge part of helping other people feel like they aren’t alone!
So excited to hear all about it! My love & I have never wanted to have kids biologically, & after a lot of research & soul searching decided not to adopt. We're very happily childless & adore all our little niblings.
I've always found ObGyn super interesting from an academic perspective, & it's such a cool thing that a human can grow another human!
So happy for you both that you've ended up with your dream of lovely twin Graybies (I couldn't help the pun, but I do apologise). I've missed your unique editing style!
I find you to be such a good storyteller! You could talk about almost anything and hold my attention.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Very interesting
So nice to see you after all this time and to see you guys have a family! So so wonderful! So happy for you guys! Seriously! 🖤🙌🏽✨
Hello Ash, so happy to have you back on YT. I know it was rough but I have always loved your videos and was inspired by your authenticity and seeing you fully become yourself. As someone who is trying to find my own style I always looked up to you 😊.
If possible could you talk about your journey being in the psychology field. I just got my associates in psychology and wanted to get more perspectives on choosing that as a career, thank you.
This was such a great video Ash! I’m super excited for the rest of the series as the chance to get to hear about queer fertility journeys is rare, so thank you for choosing to share!
It’s great to see you back! Your videos have always been such a comfort, and you’ve helped me learn quite a bit about myself. I’ve always really enjoyed how you’ve presented information; I’m not sure what it is about it, but it’s just always very digestible and will actually stick with me.
Anyway, I’m glad to see you back, and CONGRATS!!!!! I’m so happy for the both of you!!!!!! Co-IVF is definitely pretty neat, if memory serves genetically your kids have three parents and I just think that’s really fuckin cool.
I’m looking forward to the series, you guys are such a breath of fresh air.
Glad to see you back on UA-cam! Congratulations on your babies ❤
Congratulations! I look forward to learning about your journey
I feel the struggle. Long story short, I went through my own fertility struggle that led to a twin loss and several years between pregnancies before I met my rainbow baby!
I cannot imagine how hard that loss would be. Im so sorry you went through that. But I'm really happy you got your special one in the end
Perfect timing! I'm on my own fertility journey right now. Been trying for about 8 months without any medical assistance. I want to avoid the cost of fertility treatments if possible but like you would also be s u per happy with twins. Can't wait to hear more!
It’s such a bummer that not many insurance companies cover infertility care cause it is pricey :( …sending you lots of good vibes though, I’m excited for you to start this journey ❤
Welcome back!! Love the fact you used gender neutral language in terms of "person" and "they" in your explanation!! Super important to be all inclusive to everyone 💛
You're wrong about only one thing. The world absolutely NEEDS more like you.
Yay! Missed your videos glad your back
So glad to see you back! Congrats to you and Gray on becoming parents. I'm excited for this series! My wife and I are going through this journey presently, we were very lucky on the first try of IUI (but had to wait 1 year to see fertility dr) my wife is pregnant and 22 weeks rn we feel incredibly grateful and lucky because I've heard from so many queer and straight folks of having to try several times before becoming pregnant. Looking forward to part 2 and more :)
Talk about a cliffhanger!! I was so excited to see a video on my feed. I can't wait to hear more from u both. So happy for u and Gray!
P.s Your vids are like ASMR for me. Your voice and demeanor are so calming.
My grand baby will be 8 soon & was an IUI baby, the cost in Australia was 10K. I few years ago my daughter & her fiancée decided to try IVF using the same sperm donor, my daughter’s fiancée eggs & my daughters body, at a cost of 20K. Unfortunately we didn’t realise at the time my daughter was in ill health & she lost the baby. Their funds are now exhausted. We believe IUI will become free in our medical system soon, so as the clock ticks, maybe there is another chance, but not with the same choices, only my daughters egg can be used & unable to choose the same sperm donor
I'm so happy to see you're back!!❤️ Wanna say a massive thank you as your channel is the main reason I've started educating myself on anything lgbtqi+, not that I didn't want to before, I just had never heard of non-binary before finding your channel, to give an example (And I'm still learning! Always learning!), as a future psychologist it's so important to be able to help any person of any gender any sexuality, just basically any person ever. So I want to thank you so so so much for opening my eyes❤️ much love to you and your family!❤️
So glad your back congratulations
Thank you SOOOO much for this video!!! I’m also trans and I was curious about this topic and I wanted to investigate more about it- but I couldn’t find any sources from trans people
:(
So seeing someone making a video about this makes me so happy and relieved 🥹🥺✨🫶🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 so thank youuuuuuuuuuuu!!! This was super helpful!!!!!!
Hope you have a smooth time with it as much as possible! Just a tip in case you're looking for light resources - there's a channel I love run by an ObGyn called Mama Doctor Jones, & although she's cis, she uses inclusive language & covers all aspects of pregnancy, fertility & gynecology. I find it very entertaining & full of interesting info.
I can only say that I follow some seahorse dads, aka trans men who carried their babies, and some non binary people who did too on Instagram. In case you want to check that out, Freddy Mcconnell is a great place to start, I think. Could think of other examples or other LGTBIAQ+ couples as well if you want. :)
So happy for you all! Your videos always feel like a warm hug to me.
As what a nice comment 💕
I cant really express my feelings right now.
I wish your children all the luck in the world. I wish for them a happy and healthy life.
I am excited to hear all about your and Grayson's experience and I'm glad you decided to share your knowledge. My partner and I are not there yet, but when we do decide to have kids, I'm already grateful that there are your videos out there that make me feel safe with the way you phrase stuff in an inclusive way and when you do use "gendered" terminology it doesn't cause dysphoria bc you use them in a conscious and mindful way. So thank you thank you thank you for that (getting a bit teary eyed here 🙈)
My wife and I feel so alone in our fertility journey. We're 2 years in with fertility issues and going through IVF in October. No one prepares you for the wild pendulum that swings between hopefulness and hopelessness... and how exhausting that alone can be. There is such a lack of support/visibility for those undergoing fertility treatment. Thank you for sharing your journey and lessening those feelings a little. I admire the strength and joy you both have and so pleased that your journey resulted in two beautiful humans. I'm able to hold that joy alongside the fear for the next part of our journey... 💙
Looking forward to more of this series! I don't intend to have kids myself but I love to hear lgbtq+ parents' stories, the process is very fascinating. Happy to see you all thriving!
This is such perfect timing, my wife is going to start IUI this spring!
I Am So Excited!!!
I love this!! As another NB, it is really cool hearing your experience about getting pregnant. If you don’t mind, I would be interested in hearing how you managed dysphoria during pregnancy? Obviously only if you feel comfortable! I have always been conflicted about the possibility, but hopeful about Maybe. But recently I was diagnosed with pretty bad endometriosis, which makes me a bit…less hopeful. Sadly. Anyway, I digress. Congratulations on your children, they will have wonderful parents ;)
Thank you for doing these videos.
For my first kiddo, we had a 4 year fertility journey (with myself and my penis having partner), including over a year of IUI and a loss...many tears...many doubts...I was on the verge of stopping or switching to IVF when we got pregnant and it stuck. That kid is now 4.5 and absolutely amazing and we have a 2 year old too, which was both easier to conceive and an incredibly awful pregnancy. (My first full term pregnancy was hard too, but I was so busy being relieved that I could get pregnant and that it was sticking that I saw that pregnancy partially through rose colored glasses)
So interesting to learn about. If it's something you want to talk about I'd love to hear about why adoption wasn't on the table!
I appreciate the education. I've dealt with a lot of grief knowing that at 36 in a trans couple with low income jobs that our options are disappearing. I struggle with going off T, the idea of being pregnant, and being at a high risk age (my mother had her last kid at 38, so I know it's possible, but there's a lot of shame around having kids when older). Plus with the cost of children, it doesn't seem possible for us at our income level. And surrogacy even more so. It just hurts because it's not a choice for us.
I love how you say "person" or "human" with a uterus. Recently, in the media, I've heard "people who are pregnant" instead of "pregnant women" so things are starting to change, thanks to people like you, I'm sure!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Thanks for sharing your journey! As you were saying it can work out on the first try; I got pregnant on the first IUI!
Congratulations to you both, so happy for you 🎉😁❤️
This was fascinating to hear about! I don't hear about this topic much online, love to lean
Glad it worked out in the end.
Aw, we wouldn't mind more of you running around! 💕 You're both awesome! (Why are there no "heart hands" emojis??)
I wish you would have had an easier time. In the end, two cute kids! 💗💗😃😍😍
I love this video! So educational! My wife and I are entering this phase of our lives within the next couple years and I’ll be carrying. I’m a cis woman, but the idea of carrying a baby does not align with how I think of my gender at all, so I’m looking forward to all your content on pregnancy.
I don't intend on having kids but I am very interested in hearing about other folks that want babies expanding their family, it's amazing what we can do now! I'm also following a lesbian couple doing reciprocal/co IVF right now.
as a fellow queer nb person with a uterus, i also love the idea of co-IVF and TWINS! i really look forward to hearing more about your journey.
So happy for you!
Omg wow, congratulations to you both 🥰
Thank you for sharing your journey! I am queer and want to become a parent in the future and will likely pursue IUI so this is really helpful!
I miss all these rambling Ash videos cos your brain works similar to mine and I also ramble like no tomorrow. Love having you back and really looking forward to learning about your journey.
For me personally (trans masc), I can't have kids at all cos my trisomy X 47xxx chromosomal variation basically meant all my eggs were gone by the time I was 20. But I never really wanted genetic kids cos I have such a genetical triad of medical chaos. I did want the option to freeze, but finding out that no matter what we tried to do, the chances of harvesting a viable egg is like less than 1% I was like okay, not even an option. Maybe I'll adopt one day, but for now I'm happy with my furbaby Casper.
Ayyyy YOURE BACK! 🤩🥲
My wife is high functioning autistic and i have ADHD. We have had the debate back and forth about wanting to pursue a family. I would have to carry since my wife can't process certain things that a baby needs to grow and also of how many meds she NEEDS to be on. The thing that has worried us the most is mental health. I grew up with my mom doing daycare so i know how to tend for kids in that aspect. its more so of when things are emotionally all over and maybe the child needs more than we can provide or has meltdowns we cant control...its a huge decision but we just dont know. We've been together for 6 years and have been married for 5 months. She's finishing her Masters in Social work so financially we are not there yet. but eventually...ahh now im rambling
Just discovered your channel and I Iove listenig to you talking about your story! I'm cis and hetero but I find it really interesting which possibilities there are for queer couples to start a family. I wish you all the best and I am super excited for your upcoming videos!
Lots of love from Germany
My partner and I also dream of
Co-IVF! So happy for you guys 🥹♥️
I gotta stop taking breaks from UA-cam. I keep finding out about exciting stuff happening to the folks I enjoy watching extremely late. 😁
Now I'm going to be too excited to go to sleep. Two of my favorite people online are parents. ☺
As hard as thr process was for you both, I'm glad it all worked out in the end.
Also the price tag 😬😬
That's amazing thanks for sharing
We used a known donor and got pregnant on our 2nd IUI attempt (my partner carried, was 39 at the time), so now that we are considering trying again (he's 42 now!) this is exactly what we're nervous about! Chuck all the money at 1 round of IVF and hope it works otherwise yikes, or try IUI again even though the stats are even worse than they were last time around but hope we'll be equally as lucky within a few tries, but if it doesnt work, there goes all the IVF money! It's such a tough one! How invasive IVF is definitely puts us off too, but ultimately just desperate to expand our family whichever way can make that happen.
I'm just realizing just how much I simplified IVF in my mind...
Huge congratulations, I'm so happy treatment ended up working our for you. Just wanted to make it clear to everyone that multiple pregnancy is actually the biggest risk factor or IVF. It comes with a wealth of risks associated with parent and babies. So please anyone really desiring twins, all I ask is you properly discuss these risk factors with your healthcare providers so you go into it fully informed!
We are in the UK and went straight to IVF because it worked out cheaper than multiple IUI attempts. Luckily we got pregnant first time and now have a brilliant 8 month old.
7:13 I wholeheartedly disagree. The world needs more yous as well as more Graysons.
Omg I didn't know they had babies nor even that they were pregnant!! Congrats to you both and to your lil torpatikos c:
Woa I never knew the term for it but IUI is how I happened!
So glad you're back! Hearing you talk about this makes me feel a lot better about my future as a non-binary person that wants to be pregnant someday. What do/will your kids call you and gray? Or any other gender non-conforming parents in the comments, I'm really curious and considering it for myself :)
My sis has 2 IVF babies and it failed 2 other times, you’re not kidding about the expense and emotional roller coaster. 😢
*Crying* these videos are my lil gay dream
My wife and I did Co-IVF (RIVF) my wife egg donor sperm in me and then we reversed it and my egg and same donor in my wife. I love our family and how we chose to make it like that
Leaving a comment for the algorithm
That is what I am going to do