It would be helpful to see sci-fi and fantasy examples... You mentioned a few times about being "short and snappy" and that might be challenging if you need to establish a little bit of wb / setting as well as you main story pitch. (and yes, the wb is required as context in my case to understand the story ). All in all, would be a good series 👍
Look at the Query Shark's site, started by late agent, Janet Reid, she was invaluable in teaching me and many others about querying. She has hundreds of samples on her site.
I'm up to 11 rejections with 44 literary agents queried (on 4/1/2024). Two personalized rejections and nine form rejections. The most recent was a tailored rejection from the agent, not her assistant, so I feel like I'm making progress. One of the agents you mentioned are among those I'm waiting on a response from, Alyssa, so thank you for this topic and terrific video. I think it's all about the pitch. If I were an agent, I'd have requested a full manuscript from the first author and dispatched the second a form rejection, showing how absurdly subjective this process is.
I've always ended my queries with: Thank you for your time and consideration. I thought that the blurb was supposed to be just one paragraph, yet both of these ladies broke up their blurbs. ??? Yes, please do a series on successful query letters!!!
Yes please to more examples of successful query letters. From those two, I actually think that their structure is better. Admittedly, I like the first query letter in this more, even though it is so short.
Interesting- I have never heard anyone suggest doing what both of these do, which is to discuss the pov and structure/timelines. Also WAY more plot than most advice tells you to put in, and no "one line blurbs" nor intro statement with the genre. And, assuming these are the complete letters, no personalization...
Aside: The first query book's subject turns me off immediately - why would I want to read about a main character who *chooses* to live with the mother who already went to jail for harming her, thereby potentially endangering herself (again) as well as her own child? I immediately distrust the protagonist to make reasonable decisions. Just my reaction, but perhaps I'm missing something. Love this topic, thank you Alyssa.
Alyssa your hair looks stunning and bouncy. Thanks for these examples as I'm currently querying my historical romance novel, while also writing my second sci Fi novel. ❤
Thank you, thank you, thank you! So many UA-cam videos I've watched have only explained, and not shown, what a query letter should look like. I would like to see a query letter for a memoir in one of your next videos.
Excellent video! It helps me feel better about the query letter I've been using. Also, it's heartening to see that first-time authors really do connect with agents! Thank you!
I have recently begun to start my letters with the pitch/blurb, after few stated this should get the agent's attention. Keeping things to the point and listing that I have self-published few books. Sadly still got a few generic rejections but this means nothing as I have queried several more who may like my work. Still waiting for responses as of writing this. So good to hear that this may be the right direction to go with as previously, I have used the so called housekeeping and then the blurb.
This video solidified that I am on the right track, however more query letter examples please. And when mine lands an agent, I’ll submit it to your channel 😊
This is great (and so is your hair!). Another good query resource is Query Shark's site (priceless, really). Side note...I personally don't like fiction mysteries based on true crime cases, and I've seen an uptick in debut mysteries taking inspiration from real-life murder cases (Rose Gold/Gypsy Rose case). 😳 Do these authors need to tell their agents what inspired the story?
Definitely could do more videos like this. Because I dunno if those fit the QueryTracker Template without being repetitive. What do you do when in QueryTracker it asks for 1. The Query 2. The Synopsis 3. The Blurb 4. Comp titles. But.....in this letter all of those things have been established?
Hey! I've written a book titled 'Murder's No Big Deal' where the people of Outer Island have decided collectively that they were tired of grieving so much and would instead look at death and murder as breaking a bone; not ideal, but not the end of the world. Alex comes from the US and decries how crazy this is, attempting to change people's minds. However, he realizes that their opinions have merit and watches himself being persuaded by the natives, ultimately leading to a middle of the road approach. The book shows that no matter how right you think you are, there are always arguments to the contrary. Do you think I have a shot with that and do you know anyone who'd want to take it on?
Now I understand the query letter how it works, it's like a synopsis of the story written by the author, they intrigued directly some of mystery and actions toilet the agent be hunger to read more of the story. I like that indeed our Asian countries don't work like that, they don't even have agents, shame on Arabic publishing houses, the book for them is only trade and market, maybe they are right at some point but they didn't in any way encouraging authors or teach them how to do their homework, I wish we could have agents here.
It must be a bit weird to be a literary agent and receive all these letters, apropos of nothing, saying: "Dear Sir Bob Frankfurter, Andy thought his life at the sandwich factory was everything until one day he turned into a duck. Hi my name's Troy McClure and I just wrote a novel and need an agent. " My point is: Surely, you should introduce yourself and the context of your message and THEN launch into your pitch? It seems really weird to start straight off with the pitch, without context.
Timely post! Thank you! Closing in on querying time myself. Before I do, (and this is a question for a future Wednesday), is it a good idea, bad idea to seek a second editorial opinion on my book? I love the connection I have with my editor, but I always wonder if another view point would be helpful.
This is an interesting format Alyssa - both of these query letters jump right into the blurb without any kind of segue into it. Everything I've learned from you and others tell me to start with some kind of introduction, especially one which personalizes it to the agent. Pardon me for sounding a bit dramatic, but are these queries not a bit risky?
It definitely is interesting that both of these happen to be formatted that way. I do know that Victoria included a personalization line when possible in her queries, and that likely came before the plot blurb (this is likely her base template, which she could customize for each query). That said, I know there are some other querying resources that do suggest jumping straight into the plot blurb - Query Shark is one that comes to mind.
Thank you so much for your channel !! All your information is helpful, and I enjoy having your videos play when I'm multi-tasking or wanting to brush up on what I know. I haven't done nearly anything besides finish the 2nd draft (personally edited) of my manuscript. It's non-fiction, and actually my journals from when I was in high school. Talking with someone who I know in the industry (10 years running a local bookstore), she recommended I avoid mentioning that I'm intending to make my book a series. This makes sense to me, but how would navigate those personal intentions when trying to work with agencies and publishers? Thank you so much !!
This is SO helpful! Thank you. One question: prior to your example, I had understood that a query should not be a teaser, but spell out a crisp plot outline. Both of these letters felt like teasers. Is there room for both, or is short-and-sweet the best?
I do recommend thinking of your query like a teaser for your book - similar to a movie trailer. It shouldn't give everything away, just enough to entice the agent to want to read more! Here's a video with my suggestions for writing a strong query letter: ua-cam.com/video/SSBcasOsRCs/v-deo.html A synopsis, on the other hand, should spell out a complete plot outline - I have another video that talks about that here: ua-cam.com/video/GpCBuCH9Vwo/v-deo.html I hope this helps!
That's one of the things I found so interesting about both of these examples - I often recommend putting your housekeeping information (genre, word count, etc.) first, but these both jump straight into the blurb. I think there are pros and cons to both formats. It just goes to show that one isn't necessarily "right" or "better" than the other.
This is super helpful as I am about to begin querying and already I can see a few things I hadn't considered in my approach and will now be implementing! In regards to the synopsis, I am a little confused by these query letters and also your previous advice about not telling them everything about the story as most of the UK/children's agencies I've listed have asked to know everything in the synopsis and they stress 'including spoilers'. Do you have any thoughts on this?
I do suggest including spoilers in your synopsis document (but not in your query letter). Here's a video with some more synopsis do's and don'ts: ua-cam.com/video/GpCBuCH9Vwo/v-deo.html I hope that helps!
When talking about submitting ten pages, I am assuming letter sized pages? But also, do you just cut it off cold at ten pages or finish the paragraph or sentence at the end of the page?
And yet we're always told to ensure our comp titles are no more than five years old. The ones mentioned in the first query letter are waaaay older than that.
But why do the query letters need to be so boring and formulaic? I wouldn't read any of these books based on these letters. Is it because *actual* intrigue and unique characters/plot is too "extra"? This reads like someone memorized a short textbook entry and then did Mad Libs to fill in the open choice blanks. I wonder if "literature" has been dumbed down (like much of US society) to the lowest common denominator, and I suspect that it's the profit-seeking publishing companies who have done it. Or is it that this is the only stuff people consume anymore?
If I was an agent I would definitely want to see the manuscript in the first, but the second I would throw in the trash. Just my opinion. 17yo with 2 employees? Figures it is YA 😂
It would be helpful to have a series on query letters. Yes, it is helpful to see examples of query letters which shows what works and what doesn't.
Agreed
@@FalconFastest123 Yes, a series would be helpful. 😀
It would be helpful to see sci-fi and fantasy examples... You mentioned a few times about being "short and snappy" and that might be challenging if you need to establish a little bit of wb / setting as well as you main story pitch. (and yes, the wb is required as context in my case to understand the story ).
All in all, would be a good series 👍
Look at the Query Shark's site, started by late agent, Janet Reid, she was invaluable in teaching me and many others about querying. She has hundreds of samples on her site.
Agreed.
I'm up to 11 rejections with 44 literary agents queried (on 4/1/2024). Two personalized rejections and nine form rejections. The most recent was a tailored rejection from the agent, not her assistant, so I feel like I'm making progress.
One of the agents you mentioned are among those I'm waiting on a response from, Alyssa, so thank you for this topic and terrific video. I think it's all about the pitch. If I were an agent, I'd have requested a full manuscript from the first author and dispatched the second a form rejection, showing how absurdly subjective this process is.
I've always ended my queries with:
Thank you for your time and consideration.
I thought that the blurb was supposed to be just one paragraph, yet both of these ladies broke up their blurbs.
???
Yes, please do a series on successful query letters!!!
I would love a series like this. This was an excellent breakdown!
So glad you enjoyed it - thanks for the feedback!
I actually listen to you while I'm at work so I can feel like I'm making progress with my querying even though my job has nothing to do with it
Work on a Sunday!? No wonder why you wanna be a successful author!
@BudsCartoon Luckily this isn't a common place thing. Our boss just promised something we couldn't manage to weekend work it is.
Yes please to more examples of successful query letters. From those two, I actually think that their structure is better. Admittedly, I like the first query letter in this more, even though it is so short.
Yeah, I'd like to see more query examples. I'm at my third query and still trying to figure out the magic formula.
Id love more examples in different genres. Maybe some sff.
Yes..I write in diff genres so I need examples of each;
Thriller, Horror, Contempo Fiction, YA..contemp fiction and thriller..and now Memoir
Interesting- I have never heard anyone suggest doing what both of these do, which is to discuss the pov and structure/timelines. Also WAY more plot than most advice tells you to put in, and no "one line blurbs" nor intro statement with the genre. And, assuming these are the complete letters, no personalization...
Aside: The first query book's subject turns me off immediately - why would I want to read about a main character who *chooses* to live with the mother who already went to jail for harming her, thereby potentially endangering herself (again) as well as her own child? I immediately distrust the protagonist to make reasonable decisions. Just my reaction, but perhaps I'm missing something. Love this topic, thank you Alyssa.
Agreed, but dysfunctional family is basically literary content 101. I'll stick to spec fic.
Alyssa your hair looks stunning and bouncy. Thanks for these examples as I'm currently querying my historical romance novel, while also writing my second sci Fi novel. ❤
Yes..I can't focus on just one work
I have been drafting my upcoming project before editing my WIP.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! So many UA-cam videos I've watched have only explained, and not shown, what a query letter should look like. I would like to see a query letter for a memoir in one of your next videos.
I really love the addition of the beatboxing at 9:40 during your outro music. :D
I would love if this was a series!
I loved this video, my favorite so far. Yes, I would like to see, hear more query letter examples. Thanks.
So glad you enjoyed it!
Yes, definitely do more of this! That was very good information.
Excellent video! It helps me feel better about the query letter I've been using. Also, it's heartening to see that first-time authors really do connect with agents!
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing! This was very helpful. I would love to see more successful query letter examples.
This was so practical and helpful for me. Thanks so much for sharing such timely content.😄
I have recently begun to start my letters with the pitch/blurb, after few stated this should get the agent's attention. Keeping things to the point and listing that I have self-published few books. Sadly still got a few generic rejections but this means nothing as I have queried several more who may like my work. Still waiting for responses as of writing this.
So good to hear that this may be the right direction to go with as previously, I have used the so called housekeeping and then the blurb.
Really high quality information. Really insightful to see good query letters, thanx!
This video solidified that I am on the right track, however more query letter examples please. And when mine lands an agent, I’ll submit it to your channel 😊
Sounds like the Gypsy Rose case
Exactly right.
I am interested if this is going to be a series then I'll watch it
This was great. Would love to see more videos like this. Ty!
This is great (and so is your hair!). Another good query resource is Query Shark's site (priceless, really). Side note...I personally don't like fiction mysteries based on true crime cases, and I've seen an uptick in debut mysteries taking inspiration from real-life murder cases (Rose Gold/Gypsy Rose case). 😳 Do these authors need to tell their agents what inspired the story?
It does make me feel more confident
Great video, I really appreciate all the work you put in. Thanks a million Alyssa!
Please do more about query letters.
That would be a great series!
Super helpful! Thank you for these examples!!
Yes please for a query letter series!
Definitely could do more videos like this. Because I dunno if those fit the QueryTracker Template without being repetitive.
What do you do when in QueryTracker it asks for 1. The Query 2. The Synopsis 3. The Blurb 4. Comp titles. But.....in this letter all of those things have been established?
Hey! I've written a book titled 'Murder's No Big Deal' where the people of Outer Island have decided collectively that they were tired of grieving so much and would instead look at death and murder as breaking a bone; not ideal, but not the end of the world. Alex comes from the US and decries how crazy this is, attempting to change people's minds. However, he realizes that their opinions have merit and watches himself being persuaded by the natives, ultimately leading to a middle of the road approach. The book shows that no matter how right you think you are, there are always arguments to the contrary. Do you think I have a shot with that and do you know anyone who'd want to take it on?
More query letter breakdowns please!
Now I understand the query letter how it works, it's like a synopsis of the story written by the author, they intrigued directly some of mystery and actions toilet the agent be hunger to read more of the story. I like that indeed our Asian countries don't work like that, they don't even have agents, shame on Arabic publishing houses, the book for them is only trade and market, maybe they are right at some point but they didn't in any way encouraging authors or teach them how to do their homework, I wish we could have agents here.
It must be a bit weird to be a literary agent and receive all these letters, apropos of nothing, saying:
"Dear Sir Bob Frankfurter,
Andy thought his life at the sandwich factory was everything until one day he turned into a duck.
Hi my name's Troy McClure and I just wrote a novel and need an agent. "
My point is: Surely, you should introduce yourself and the context of your message and THEN launch into your pitch? It seems really weird to start straight off with the pitch, without context.
Very helpful. 👍🏻🏆😎
Timely post! Thank you! Closing in on querying time myself. Before I do, (and this is a question for a future Wednesday), is it a good idea, bad idea to seek a second editorial opinion on my book? I love the connection I have with my editor, but I always wonder if another view point would be helpful.
I will be self publishing but the part about taking about the story is go to get ideas for hooking the readers on the description
sorry meant to say good not go
This is an interesting format Alyssa - both of these query letters jump right into the blurb without any kind of segue into it. Everything I've learned from you and others tell me to start with some kind of introduction, especially one which personalizes it to the agent. Pardon me for sounding a bit dramatic, but are these queries not a bit risky?
It definitely is interesting that both of these happen to be formatted that way. I do know that Victoria included a personalization line when possible in her queries, and that likely came before the plot blurb (this is likely her base template, which she could customize for each query). That said, I know there are some other querying resources that do suggest jumping straight into the plot blurb - Query Shark is one that comes to mind.
Thank you so much for your channel !! All your information is helpful, and I enjoy having your videos play when I'm multi-tasking or wanting to brush up on what I know.
I haven't done nearly anything besides finish the 2nd draft (personally edited) of my manuscript. It's non-fiction, and actually my journals from when I was in high school. Talking with someone who I know in the industry (10 years running a local bookstore), she recommended I avoid mentioning that I'm intending to make my book a series.
This makes sense to me, but how would navigate those personal intentions when trying to work with agencies and publishers?
Thank you so much !!
These are soooo different from how my query letters are currently being sent. I am wondering if this is what has been led to so many rejections...
This is SO helpful! Thank you. One question: prior to your example, I had understood that a query should not be a teaser, but spell out a crisp plot outline. Both of these letters felt like teasers. Is there room for both, or is short-and-sweet the best?
I do recommend thinking of your query like a teaser for your book - similar to a movie trailer. It shouldn't give everything away, just enough to entice the agent to want to read more! Here's a video with my suggestions for writing a strong query letter: ua-cam.com/video/SSBcasOsRCs/v-deo.html A synopsis, on the other hand, should spell out a complete plot outline - I have another video that talks about that here: ua-cam.com/video/GpCBuCH9Vwo/v-deo.html I hope this helps!
great episode! is it normal to start with the blurb first though?
That's one of the things I found so interesting about both of these examples - I often recommend putting your housekeeping information (genre, word count, etc.) first, but these both jump straight into the blurb. I think there are pros and cons to both formats. It just goes to show that one isn't necessarily "right" or "better" than the other.
I think the first one is excellent, but is missing why the author is sending it to the specific agent.
This is super helpful as I am about to begin querying and already I can see a few things I hadn't considered in my approach and will now be implementing!
In regards to the synopsis, I am a little confused by these query letters and also your previous advice about not telling them everything about the story as most of the UK/children's agencies I've listed have asked to know everything in the synopsis and they stress 'including spoilers'. Do you have any thoughts on this?
I do suggest including spoilers in your synopsis document (but not in your query letter). Here's a video with some more synopsis do's and don'ts: ua-cam.com/video/GpCBuCH9Vwo/v-deo.html I hope that helps!
When talking about submitting ten pages, I am assuming letter sized pages? But also, do you just cut it off cold at ten pages or finish the paragraph or sentence at the end of the page?
Finish the sentence.
And yet we're always told to ensure our comp titles are no more than five years old. The ones mentioned in the first query letter are waaaay older than that.
The only one out of the range was Sharp Objects published in 2006. The other example was definitely within the five year range. Just look them up.
@@TheEccentricRaven No it wasn't. Good Me Bad Me was published in 2015 or 2016.
@leenaronalds4155 Darling Rose Gold came out in 2020. Query was most likely sent in 2019.
@VeraBrightfeather Yep. Good Me Bad Me came out in 2017. Darling Rose Gold came out in 2020. Query was more likely sent out in 2018 or 2019.
But why do the query letters need to be so boring and formulaic? I wouldn't read any of these books based on these letters. Is it because *actual* intrigue and unique characters/plot is too "extra"? This reads like someone memorized a short textbook entry and then did Mad Libs to fill in the open choice blanks. I wonder if "literature" has been dumbed down (like much of US society) to the lowest common denominator, and I suspect that it's the profit-seeking publishing companies who have done it. Or is it that this is the only stuff people consume anymore?
The * Halo * Effect: Yellow gold flames behind you
If I was an agent I would definitely want to see the manuscript in the first, but the second I would throw in the trash. Just my opinion. 17yo with 2 employees? Figures it is YA 😂
First
None of the authors or agents are male. Coincidence?
"No, no, and no," said the gatekeeper and that was that.