The Huge Mistake You’re Probably Making in Your Novel

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  • @cjpreach
    @cjpreach Рік тому +40

    Alfred Hitchcock taught that the AUDIENCE should know critical information that the characters do NOT know, and this builds suspense. Another excellent video, Alyssa.

    • @pjalexander_author
      @pjalexander_author Рік тому +3

      True, although Hitchcock was talking about movies, which are essentially third person pov and therefore make it easier to pull off dramatic irony without the viewer feeling cheated. With a book that tries to close the narrative distance, it's trickier to pull off dramatic irony (unless there are multiple pov's, etc).

    • @futurestoryteller
      @futurestoryteller Рік тому

      He made very particular types of genre stories, his advice is similarly particular

    • @cjpreach
      @cjpreach Рік тому

      @@futurestoryteller Actually, he is speaking to a category of writing - Suspense. If my goal is to write a suspenseful scene in my novel (regardless of genre) I can follow this advice and withhold critical information from the fictional characters while the informed reader sweats it out.

    • @futurestoryteller
      @futurestoryteller Рік тому

      @@cjpreach This is not the only way to create suspense.

    • @cjpreach
      @cjpreach Рік тому

      @@futurestoryteller Okay. But it is the essential nature of suspense. Any technique that accomplishes angst in the audience will do. Thanks for your thoughts. Much appreciated.

  • @Redskirt
    @Redskirt Рік тому +27

    Your timing with this video was perfect, Alyssa. I'd just written a scene I knew was crap, a character witnessing something I'd already written about, but I didn't know how to go through the action without retelling. Now I realize I need to show my character's response to the action, not repeat the action itself. Whew, thanks!

    • @AlyssaMatesic
      @AlyssaMatesic  Рік тому +4

      So glad you found the video helpful, Lea! Thanks for commenting 😊

  • @kristinacorren
    @kristinacorren Рік тому +12

    I swear you got ESP or something 😅 every time I get a rejection on a full, you publish a video that clarifies the agent's issues with my work. Thank you!!

  • @AlohaTrev
    @AlohaTrev Рік тому +2

    BEST info you’ve ever shared: omniscient POV can be very close! 99.9% of the time, however, people automatically assume the omniscient narrative distance is massive. It’s a horrible bias

  • @portiawrites
    @portiawrites Рік тому +7

    Calling out “keeping secrets” is so helpful - I’ve been chewing on this idea that readers care about ACTION, not INFORMATION, and that the suspense or tension that keeps a reader moving through a story is about action and choices, not about revelation (although revelation gives context to choices, it’s not particularly satisfying in and of itself).

  • @alancook9102
    @alancook9102 Рік тому +12

    Thank you for that. I strongly agree that an author has to minimise reader deprivations, particularly time and place deprivations. The more the reader is actually there the more the reader gets the power of the story without it being filtered by time and distance. That's one of the many reasons why film is so strong - it takes you there, you can feel it as though you're actually experiencing it. A novel is an artificial construct. The trick is to write such that the reader does not feel these boundaries but lives it in the now - as though for real.

  • @GuruOfwisdom
    @GuruOfwisdom 2 місяці тому +1

    Very last point in the video was a really good one. I hadn’t heard anyone discuss the character keeping a secret from the reader and that it creates a distance if they withhold it too long. Great job explaining why, namely that it doesn’t allow the reader to understand the emotion and distress the character feels or what the stakes are. That is a great point. I need to further ponder secrets that guy as the author am aware of that aren’t revealed to the reader because the MC doesn’t know it yet either. There were hints at things happening, but I feel like some of them are carrying on too far, especially if it has to go into book 2 or 3 to be revealed.

  • @theresas.9511
    @theresas.9511 Рік тому +10

    This is exactly what my beta readers said about my first book! Mostly the last two points.
    But I revised it accordingly and now the feedback came back very positive!

  • @tommylewis2792
    @tommylewis2792 Рік тому +5

    Hey this is excellent. Formalizes a concept I have been dealing with purely on intuition and feel.

  • @mageprometheus
    @mageprometheus Рік тому +2

    Thank you. This clears up some confusion I was having with writing the narrative through the POV character.

  • @antoinetteg6542
    @antoinetteg6542 Рік тому +1

    I have been applying what I learnt from another writer's class, that if the scene is written vividly enough you don't need to describe the emotional response because the reader will already be feeling it. But it doesn't seem to work, as my critique group all say they need more emotion. It's hard to find a balance. I'm starting to revise my memoir, hopefully for the last time, and will keep your advice in mind. Thanks!

    • @pjalexander_author
      @pjalexander_author Рік тому +1

      Yes, it is a balance, isn't it? I think we do want to focus on evoking emotion rather than describing it. Meaning, our books will be much more powerful if they make the reader cry rather than describing how the pov character is crying. Yet we want the reader to experience that emotion *through* our pov character. So yes it's definitely walking a tightrope, isn't it?

    • @antoinetteg6542
      @antoinetteg6542 Рік тому

      @@pjalexander_author You got it!

  • @inuzuki8605
    @inuzuki8605 Рік тому +2

    Wow, I am revising my WIP right now to add raw emotions to the scenes. This is very validating! Thank you! ❤😊

  • @DarkN5
    @DarkN5 Рік тому +4

    You have given me great confidence in my writing, and you have a beautiful and easy-to-understand style, as if you literally live inside my mind, and guide me to correct all the mistakes I have made in writing, you will read my book one day, and then you will know that you were one of the reasons for its existence❤ thnx❤

  • @taurusstarchild5109
    @taurusstarchild5109 4 місяці тому

    One of the most difficult intimacy problems exists with sci fi and I think it's hard to be into that sort of knowing what the main char does all the time when you have to fit mystery, suspense, and technically challenged perspective all into a work of sci fi. I find it rewarding when I can see the char interactions and distance becoming relevant in a cause and effect sense. I even got the idea where effects are only the reason why distancing could work and everything works into a good and satisfying ending even though sci Fi is merely a scale model of action thriller.

  • @grumpybravo2628
    @grumpybravo2628 Рік тому +7

    Have you considered writing all these tips and information down and merging it all into a book for writers?

  • @csb78nm
    @csb78nm Рік тому +3

    Wonderfully presented and now I have a lot to unpack here. Mostly, I am left debating if a flashback is creating narrative distance or if in reflecting back, time has given the protagonist some new perspective not felt in the moment. Hmm.

  • @jarnkarlinn
    @jarnkarlinn 11 місяців тому

    I am a big literature enthusiast but I had never heard of narrative distance before. Thank you!

  • @maryhobbins
    @maryhobbins 7 місяців тому

    I had not heard about narrative distance until I watched your video. It is helping me reflect on my scenes more carefully and catch any weak spots.

  • @alexanderdurig4474
    @alexanderdurig4474 6 місяців тому

    narrative distance = sublime TQ!

  • @Fuliginosus
    @Fuliginosus Рік тому

    I've often been guilty of not going into a character's thoughts, but I did so under the impression that I was showing not telling.

  • @VenturesAdventure
    @VenturesAdventure Рік тому +1

    Wonderful! Splendidly explained! Again, "wonderful"!

  • @rameshnyberg3818
    @rameshnyberg3818 Рік тому +1

    As usual, excellent stuff! I was struggling with a segment of my story in which my main character recounts an event-- now I know to go back and write the event in its correct time frame. This was one of the most helpful and important videos I have seen on this channel.

    • @AlyssaMatesic
      @AlyssaMatesic  Рік тому

      So glad you found it helpful, Ramesh! Thanks for commenting!

  • @custardflan
    @custardflan 7 місяців тому

    Thank you. You just inspired me to rewrite my first chapter and it's going to rock.

  • @tylergruen457
    @tylergruen457 Рік тому +2

    Thanks so much for your videos! I watched them all throughout my first novel journey! 🎉❤

  • @TheEccentricRaven
    @TheEccentricRaven 10 місяців тому

    Working on my first draft and I'll be sure to look out for this when I revise. Thank you Alyssa❤

  • @Simeulf
    @Simeulf Рік тому +2

    Great video! Super helpful with the examples!

  • @taurusstarchild5109
    @taurusstarchild5109 4 місяці тому

    Great going❤ I was impressed by the example!

  • @kingscarbine
    @kingscarbine Рік тому +1

    Thank you. I hope this will help turning 900 pages of Sci-Fi into something solid. Cheers.

  • @ChristmasBlizzard
    @ChristmasBlizzard 4 дні тому

    Great video! I'm rewriting my first novel... I've written others since, but this was my first. A romance with a great plot but that's all. I'm adding conflict and character arc to the story. My book opens with me writing my memoir- as therapy for myself as I wrestle with sanity. I relive meeting Cindy in Cindy's Ring, at age 16. After two weekends together, we fell in love and never saw each other again. I am 55 now and she is about to knock on my door. I am reliving our first meeting. Your advice on coloring the conversations with emotions was just what I needed. I have been frozen since our first meeting at age 16. Rightly so. I need to construct a character's POV and speech habits. And pepper that thing with emotional explanations for most responses. Distance to the reader. I was about to commit that writing sin. This happened, then this was said, so I said this and then that happened. Do you recommend any writing aids? I wish I had an editor like you.
    .

  • @lynnhenionandrick4808
    @lynnhenionandrick4808 Рік тому +1

    This was really great, Alyssa. Thank you very much!!

  • @anngrace5050
    @anngrace5050 Рік тому +1

    Thanks for this great video!

  • @composer63
    @composer63 2 місяці тому

    Im doing all this stuff perfectly and struggling to get a debut publishing

  • @beescheeseandwineplease889
    @beescheeseandwineplease889 9 місяців тому

    This is the best Alyssa video yet 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @BudsCartoon
    @BudsCartoon 10 місяців тому +1

    10:04 - Would you italicize her thought speech?

  • @captainred8860
    @captainred8860 Рік тому +1

    This was so helpful

  • @JP-zl7mt
    @JP-zl7mt 5 місяців тому

    I went back to review this in order to cement it in. I had some trouble including myself until you showed me what I was hiding from my reader. Thank you. James Petrie The Cages of Mount Herbert.

  • @22agentsmith
    @22agentsmith Рік тому +1

    Your videos are invaluable. Thank you so much

  • @herddog77
    @herddog77 Рік тому

    This is extremely helpful. Thank you. :)

  • @frankwalton7323
    @frankwalton7323 Рік тому

    Thanks for the confirmation. I am doing it right.

  • @gothicwriter9897
    @gothicwriter9897 Рік тому +1

    Great video with useful ideas. When you say 'closing the narrative distance' I think you might be referring to what is often called Deep POV. It is removing filter words such as; thought, saw, heard, felt, wondered, tasted etc. My favourite guide to writing in Deep POV is 'Riveting your Readers with Deep POV' by Jill Elizabeth Nelson. A thin book but it gets straight to the point and has some useful exercise to help one learn. Another good guide is 'Mastering Deep POV' by Alice Gaines. Keep the videos coming please.

  • @terrenceomalia381
    @terrenceomalia381 Рік тому

    Your videos are spot on. Thanks for taking the time to post these. You mention in some of your videos that you do book editing. Are you actively seeking new work and new manuscripts?

  • @BbGun-lw5vi
    @BbGun-lw5vi 5 місяців тому

    One of the most helpful videos I’ve watched. I have a question. About when in a story do you reveal a big secret the POV character is holding? I understand dropping tidbits as the story unfolds but about when in the story is it fully revealed?

  • @tracyshawn2349
    @tracyshawn2349 Рік тому

    Wonderful #WritingAdvice!

  • @katiefjelstad
    @katiefjelstad 9 місяців тому

    I just love these videos, thank you!

  • @waveworld1geo674
    @waveworld1geo674 9 місяців тому

    great analysis thanks

  • @AUnicorn666
    @AUnicorn666 Рік тому

    This is my first time hearing of naritive distance!

  • @SMTRodent
    @SMTRodent Рік тому +4

    Today I learned!

  • @Pardesland
    @Pardesland Місяць тому

    *EXCELLENTLY* put. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

  • @bondibox
    @bondibox 4 місяці тому

    In the sentence "All Kara wanted to think about was the joy of seeing her best friend marry the love of her life." Wouldn't the antecedent for "her" in "love of her life" refer to Kara? I'm not sure what the rule is, I've always thought it needed to be the subject of the sentence.

  • @jacquelbrod
    @jacquelbrod Рік тому +1

    Hello Alyssa Please can you do a tutorial on comp. Should we be comparing our manuscript with a book that is new or "trending" in our query letter? Thanks .

    • @AlyssaMatesic
      @AlyssaMatesic  Рік тому

      Hi there! I do have another video on choosing strong comp titles: ua-cam.com/video/k_NpQGC4azM/v-deo.html I hope that helps!

    • @jacquelbrod
      @jacquelbrod Рік тому

      thank you

  • @pjalexander_author
    @pjalexander_author Рік тому

    Great video! 👍😊

  • @M11969
    @M11969 Рік тому +1

    Using the word mused repeatedly?

  • @matthewbarrack7757
    @matthewbarrack7757 6 місяців тому

    I know this video was from a bit ago, and I have never heard of narrative distance before. In my story, I have two main characters who are not together at the same time, and I'm using close 3rd perspective for both. One of the characters has a "mentor", but the mentor is an unreliable narrator. The majority of perspectives are from the two characters, but at times I will jump into the POV of the side characters, in particular the unreliable mentor. I reveal tidbits of info to the reader when in this POV, but I keep a lot of the mentor's thoughts hidden by only showing the mentors current thought processes. Is this a process that may create undue narrative distance, since the unreliable narrator is withholding a lot of info that isn't in the current thought process, beyond the tidbits I throw out in those thought processes?

  • @Blackfoxparadox
    @Blackfoxparadox 5 місяців тому

    One question. Im writing an Apocalyptic novel and the main characters hear rumours about whats happening elsewhere, its a little cheat but close to what would happen, should i add a character they meet later and add a POV ?

  • @thomasgreenbank7580
    @thomasgreenbank7580 Рік тому

    Here's an extract from my current WIP, where my protagonist, a young mother, suddenly sees her daughter with a large Dobermann:
    "My hands shot to my mouth. I struggled to breathe. There was a reason we’d never had a dog. At that moment, I almost remembered it."
    You seem to suggest this is going to put distance between the character and the reader. However, I do not want the reader to know the reason until much later in the story. Is this OK?

  • @futurestoryteller
    @futurestoryteller Рік тому

    I'm sure this isn't a particular strength of mine. Although sounds mostly like the typical "show don't tell" rule, and I was reminded of a sequence I had beta read for; the dual protagonists are undergoing a kind of (call it supernatural) trial, in which, through dialogue, they express the idea that "Whoa, we would have been really screwed if we had been keeping secrets from each other!" or "Good thing our motives are pure!" A number of times
    I don't know if I'm good as a beta reader either, but I just had to point out that I didn't think the fact that they weren't keeping ANY secrets from each other made the story _more_ interesting, so while I guess it's kind of nice to have characters who are mostly well-adjusted friends, respecting each other in a healthy relationship, the least the author could do (I would think) would be to create a little short story chapter out of strangers trying to undergo the same trial but with cynical, selfish motives, only for that to be their undoing - that way we don't have to be told by our protagonists "Imagine how this would've gone if we *weren't* good!" because we would have already seen that, with these other characters.
    It was the only thing I could think of in that case, but I don't think the author appreciated my advice much in general. 🤷

  • @Wierdgirl5834
    @Wierdgirl5834 Рік тому +1

    Great advice! Alyssa can you make a video about how you think AI and the rise of Chat GPT is going to affect the publishing industry?

  • @bheeshamkumar1186
    @bheeshamkumar1186 11 місяців тому

    Hi .... i have written a book and now working on preface/introduction segment... can u suggest how many pages for this segment are good... like i have written 25 pages and i feel that it would be lengthy... my book is science fiction plus spirituality elements.....

  • @alainelowell1997
    @alainelowell1997 Рік тому

    I
    I've just discovered your videos. I tried to grab the free assessment. I put in my email followed the prompts but no luck. How can I obtain it? Thanks

    • @AlyssaMatesic
      @AlyssaMatesic  Рік тому

      Sorry about that! Make sure to check your junk folder in case it went to spam. If it's not there, please email me at hello@alyssamatesic.com, and I will resend!

  • @annietan
    @annietan Рік тому

    Thank you for this video! I just revised the first five pages of my manuscript, which I just finished the first draft of, and am excited to send them off for feedback.
    I have a question. I'm taking the next month at a writing residency to revise my manuscript, after which I'll be talking with an agent at a writing conference about my book. I have to send off a sample query letter and the first five pages to her for feedback and possible representation a month in advance, before the residency; however; I'm not done with the revised manuscript yet and anticipate being close to done with one by the time I meet with her. Is it okay to tell an agent I anticipate my word count to be X amount and that, by the time I meet with her, I will have a revised manuscript ready for review? Or is that too soon? I think this can probably apply to anyone querying, too, whether they should begin querying when they expect their manuscript revisions to be done shortly, or to wait until the manuscript is done "enough." Thanks!

  • @suzannebrown130
    @suzannebrown130 Рік тому +2

    First, I've had no training, either formal or informal. What I do have is a very analytical approach to reading/writing, and to everything else in life.
    About the main theme of your video: I didn't know narrative distance had a name, but it's something I do intuitively. I often do this on the first draft, but when I edit/revise I check every scene. I've been thinking of it as making the scene more intimate, but your term works, too. If a scene feels flat, that's the first thing I look for.
    You touched on a couple of techniques for pacing. I'm aware of those in my writing, also. I do sometimes skip over a plot-changing development, as a creative choice. I'd give examples but the format here is too limited, but when I've done it, it has made the emotional impact much stronger. Writing has a lot of creative subtlety, doesn't it?

  • @seregrian5675
    @seregrian5675 Рік тому +64

    The biggest mistake i have made in my novel? Thinking anyone will read it...

    • @annworthington7253
      @annworthington7253 Рік тому +11

      Keep going! Someone will read it 😊

    • @valiofthesun1685
      @valiofthesun1685 Рік тому +3

      Keep selling! Be proud of your work and sell copies to anyone you run into

    • @coal.sparks
      @coal.sparks Рік тому +16

      If you've finished a novel, you've already succeeded where the majority of the folks who want to write have failed.

    • @CaseFace981
      @CaseFace981 Рік тому +3

      What’s your book about?

    • @seregrian5675
      @seregrian5675 Рік тому +2

      @@CaseFace981 It's a work of Tolkien-based fiction, about 80% complete. I've been fighting both writers block, and the public hate leveled against fanfiction writers. I am considering simply abandoning the project

  • @andeeharry
    @andeeharry Рік тому

    not sure what this means at all

  • @Mixen9408
    @Mixen9408 Рік тому

    Now i am beginning to believe, that my computer is spying on me. o_O
    Yesterday i talked with my writing partner about an older manuscript i have, where i need to write some better build up scenes, to the different key scenes in the manuscript and all the things you point out in the video, is something i can use. xD
    And this video came up as an suggestion when i opened youtube today. O_O

  • @BookClubDisaster
    @BookClubDisaster 3 місяці тому

    Generally true……unless you’re Hemingway or Cormac McCarthy.

  • @momo_genX
    @momo_genX 10 місяців тому

    If you only had yer FACE printed on the other side of that couch pillow...Satire!

  • @grabble7605
    @grabble7605 Рік тому

    You should move your whole 'Subscribe, I post this and that and yada yada' spiel to the end of the video. It's a bother to scrub through each video finding where it's over.
    Alternatively, put chapter markers in the video.

  • @MelanieNLee
    @MelanieNLee Рік тому

    Good advice, but you show us examples of the wrong way to do it, but you don't show corrected examples of the right way to do it! And what was the secret that Kara was afraid to tell Jenny?

  • @letsnotgetstressed8552
    @letsnotgetstressed8552 7 місяців тому

    This is not compatible with show, don’t tell

  • @markbeyerauthor
    @markbeyerauthor 9 місяців тому

    Alyssa, I've been an editor and writer for 30 years, and all that you say here is only pap, which helps to make you money through YT, but does almost nothing for these young writers. Your advice is obvious, if only entirely outdated, and only encourages not-very-good authors to waste their time. Meanwhile, you also play at being an expert at book endings, or book beginnings; and how to write the perfect first 10 pages, and etc-etc-etc. When, in fact and in practice, no editor, publisher, nor agent, knows what makes saleable writing sell (much less what is a good book); this is because none of those people have a clue as to what people want to read at any given time. In other words, editors-publishers-agents are scared out of their minds for their jobs because they haven't a clue as to what will sell: good book, bad book, or the greatest book EVER; or an absolute crap story. If anyone (or you, Alyssa) doubts what I have to say, just ask yourself, "Why is Alyssa running this YT channel rather than making millions-billions as an editor-publisher-agent?" Yes, your answer will lead ALL THESE YOUNG WRITERS to the truth: just write; make your characters believable; make your story readable. That's all. And, and, and ... if you get lucky enough to find a publisher, you might get lucky enough to sell books to all the very few readers who are yet out there looking for their next good book to read.