Dear Miss Courtney, thank you for this and all the videos you do. Personally, I've got to a point in my life, where I am trying to let go of anger towards anyone. Humanity MUST learn to communicate more. It may seem like nothing, but communicating could prevent or stop wars? We are all brothers and sisters of the human race family. And this family can and should be doing so much better. I haven't watched the video fully but I HAVE been reading the time stamps below. And eating better IS powerful. A better diet will do wonders for someone who suffers from depression (which I do). I can say, personally, it has improved my mental state, both within and without you (Beatles reference). And remember it's creating a positive domino effect. Healthy eating = a better mental out look = engaging with the world = opening doors and opportunities and so on. So, to all the men and women out there who are going through tough times? I want you to know, if you work hard on your life and NEVER give up - you will 'break on to the other side' (as the Doors once sang). And when you're happier and at peace with yourself? That IS a natural, magnetic force, which WILL bring others into your life (and it can be anything - not just dating). Good luck everyone and god bless, Peace and love, David
Thank you for being honest and candid about everything. As apposed to others giving advice out there I don't sense a hidden agenda. Everything you say makes sense and is good for relationships as well as your own self being! Thank you!!!
I can't emphasize enough just by my personal experience alone how impactful improving your looks has on your entire life. It's a hard pill to swallow and talk about because people want to be valued for their intrinsic worth. But it's really hard to zoom in on intrinsic worth if the extrinsic is out of order.
Look's aren't all that. I'm a good looking guy with a good personality but I got declined for 800 jobs I applied to. Only got 2 interviews from those 800 applications and no job offer. Most the jobs I applied for I had experience and met the qualifications.
Your social skills/circle carry more weight in the end. Theres plenty of dudes who are above average in looks that have poor social skills and as a result have a miserable time trying to find a woman. The same can be said for something like a job interview. You can be the most qualified candidate in the world, but if you are just some weird, socially mal-adjusted guy in the interview, it's probably not gonna work out. Improving your looks is great, but too many guys focus on this and don't go out of their way to improve any social elements of their lives.e
As a dude with a wife...I believe the girlfriend effect is a combination of two things. 1) having a girlfriend signals to other girls that there is a girl that likes you, so there is something there to like. 2) having a girlfriend boosts your confidence with other women since you don't have an agenda when talking to them (hopefully).
No.1 is my brother. He was saying once to stop caring what others think, that he picks his nose in front of his female coworkers and they still hit on him. I kept silent but smiled: They do because he's been married for almost 20 years, has a good stable marriage and job and two wonderful daughters. A married guy like than is drowning out his nose picking with signals of high value. If he were still single all his coworkers would see is the nose picking and be disgusted by it.
Important things: 1:01 First Thing - Your Circle; 2:30 Second Thing - Exercise; 3:56 Third Thing - Nutrition; 5:13 Fourth Thing - Your Image; 8:52 Fifth Thing - Sleep; 9:56 Sixth Thing - Reading; 11:43 Seventh Thing - Mindset Shift; 13:20 Eight Thing - Setting Goals; 14:38 Ninth Thing - Affirmation; 16:04 Tenth Thing - No Alcohol; 16:56 Eleventh Thing - Planning / Organization; 17:46 Twelfth Thing - Waking Up Early; 19:40 Thirteenth Thing - Meditation; 21:398 Fourteenth Thing - Limiting Screen Time; 24:07 Fifteenth Thing - Journaling; and 25:11 To summarize all the told here. I remember when I had to go to college, I had to wake up in 4:00 AM, sometimes in 4:30 AM, cause I had lectures in 6:00 AM (believe it or not) (since you have mentioned Twelfth Thing - Waking Up Early). On Tenth Thing such as No Alcohol, I might add also one thing as well. But first I have to apologize to some people that might find this insulting, cause my purpose is not to do that. And that is No Cigars. Smoking is not good for health at all. I don't smoke, and I don't drink alcohol (and I completely understand you Courtney). As for Fourteenth Thing such as Limiting Screen Time, I might add that not just to stop scrolling down the phone. We should also stop scrolling too much either laptop, or either PC. As for Thirteenth Thing such as Meditation, the good meditation can be also having a hobby. And one of the hobbies that can also solve the problems with meditation can be assembling the model kits of airplanes, helicopters, tanks, etc. From all the told here The Ultimate Men’s Self-Improvement Habits Ranking, can be summarized to one thing. And thing I think that I have mentioned in some of your videos. It goes like this: Mens sana in corpore sano which means in Latin: "In healthy mind, a healthy body." Thank you so much Courtney. It means a lot ❤💙🤍.
I keep my list short. Feminism is getting out of hand. Good women don't need such a long list. If you do what this high maintenance list says? You are fucked. Never let a women with unrealistic expectations tell you anything. Do you think this woman does all those things? Hell no!
As a man who’s currently staying at a men’s shelter it’s refreshing watching Courtney’s videos. It reminds me to strive to be a better version of myself and that it’s okay to have standards even If the world around me doesn’t. Thank you Courtney
The exercise one really is huge. I never worked out as a teenager, just didn't really cross my mind to do it. Now I aim to work out a minimum of 3 times a week every week which I think is pretty realstic and attainable. I chose not to work out for a week a few weeks ago just to take a break and give my body a rest and it had a massive negative impact on my mental health, I felt so down towards the end of the week and my body felt gross physically because I'd basically been lazy all week. I don't understand how as a kid/teenager I just never worked out but now honestly I can't imagine a world where I'm not doing it, I don't even care too much about being "ripped" or the aesthetic side of it, I just think it's a crucial part of having good mental health. I'll be 50 and still going to the gym, no doubt about it.
Keep it up. This effect only magnifies with age. In my 40s I was focused more on career and raising my son, and I became physically lazier and slid into a "dad bod". Not obese but a bit overweight, exercising inconsistently maybe 2-3 times per week. I had episodes of low back pain and severe sciatica that I'm convinced were related to weight and inactivity. Now into my 50s as an empty nester looking forward to early retirement, fitness is a priority again. I do vigorous cardio daily (competitive cycling) and calisthenics on most days. I'm 30 lbs lighter always ripped since I'm low bodyfat and vascular. People have commented that I look younger than I did in my 40s, and I feel great. Fitness and health are super important. The physical, mental and emotional states of being are tightly interconnected. In my experience, the former is by far the easiest to affect and manipulate. Just takes willpower and consistency... Editing to add: I believe the fitness route I followed throughout life is about optimal, minus my lazy period. Teens to early 20s, basically a gym rat putting a lot of muscle. Mid 20s to around 40, competitive athlete (amateur cyclist). [mostly sedentary in my 40s] 50s I've returned to hardcore cycling, but with *a lot* more easy recovery days. I've also improved diet and added daily calisthenics. In a nutshell, early on in life I recommend a strength, musculature development focus, and late 20s onward an aerobic/anaerobic, cardiovascular focus. Optimally, always do both cardio and resistance training. I'm talking priorities. The long list of benefits, most importantly overall quality of life, that regular cardio brings is even more important as we age. It's pretty cool how, for some of us at least, once the body gains muscle mass it tries to hold onto it. I haven't been to a gym in decades but still look like I lift.
Yes, exercise and nutrition are often overlooked in terms of self-improvement. Feeling good is a definite plus as far as confidence goes. Fashion and sleep are two areas that I will struggle with. I have zero fashion sense and I have never really been a sound sleeper. I was walking yesterday morning when a woman went by on her bicycle and she called out, "Good Morning" and I said it back. It was a nice feeling. Thanks for all of your advice, Courtney! Have a wonderful week ahead!
It’s up to us to change our lives, for both men & women. We must realize that we are fully capable of addressing our needs & only then will we be able to protect our romantic partners with emotional nourishment & strength.
The first 2 are absolutely S TIER! So grateful one of my friends is my personal trainer and fellow veteran! Since then, my confidence has boomed by a factor of 10!
@@CourtneyRyanI don't think it'll surprise you that I gained that confidence to meet the girl that I've been talking to, and yes, we've met up in real time haha. We still have a date coming up
Exercise is S tier and I'm glad she expressed it that way. Of it was "working out" I'd say it should be lower cause I used to workout all the time and my joints and body still hate me for it. Now I just run (about 30 miles or more a week) and I feel the best I have as an adult. Not saying working out and going to a gym is bad but the important part is being active and putting down the donuts
My two brothers and I have super divergent paths in life. I'm talking about my success in all parts of life to their relative lack of success. And I attribute a huge part of my success from my desire to look good. Because of that desire, I have been working out and lifting weights consistently since I was 16. Can't emphasize enough how making time for working out will change you for the better.
One method of “journaling” that has been helpful for me is just writing out my thoughts on a simple 3x5 notecard. It’s not as permanent as a notebook type journal but I can keep a stack of notecards at work, at home, in my vehicle etc. then consolidate them in a box later on. It’s a quick and concise way of recording your thoughts.
You’ve been like a big sister to all of us on here. Always coming in with helpful tips and gems. Thanks for all the great content Courtney. Congrats on 600K plus. Also happy new month. May it bring you continued good health, happiness, money, travel and success.
Journaling has been life-changing for me 👏 firstly in terms of organization (I write my todo list in the evening for the next day and can check things I've already done - which also gives me a spiritual boost/feeling of accomplishment), secondly for my mental health as I can write down my feelings if I feel like it after a tough day/phase. Now as most criteria are in the S Tier, let's find a woman that meets those standards 🤔😅
I don't drink. I am allergic, so it is easy to not drink for me lol. I find this a hindrance to dating tbh. Some women don't care, a minority think it great and some get weirded out by it. Drinking is such an ingrained part of our culture that some people don't know how to handle social interactions without it. And yes I know that is sad, but it is true and the dating pool takes a bit of a hit if you don't want to drink. At least that is what I found.
Yeah, same. Not drinking makes everything difficult. All of Western adult culture revolves around drinking in my experience, especially dating. Maybe it's not as bad in America.
I dont drink much, or smoke any of those marijuana cigarettes, which alienates me from most of the eligible baccalaurettes, but when i find one, shes always a lady worth having known.
Breathwork is certainly S tier. I do a lot of it throughout the day, I try to develop a rhythm when I go for my post-meal walks and of course I do it after I stretch before I go to bed because it is important to not only relax the body, but relax the brain so you get quality sleep
This will be a fun one to watch! I like to get better and better each day, and I make sure I stay to the healthy habit once I start it. Happy Sunday, Courtney and All; use this new week to start a healthy habit!
Courtney, I enjoy watching your videos in general. I find you being more in your natural state in this video. You were more free to express how you were feeling. You were not so concerned about how people will perceive you. You were OK being vulnerable and let people see your raw feelings. I think you are very passionate about some of the points in this video, and your natural feelings just bubbled out. I liked the authenticity of your presence in this video.
Dude, I'm the worst at sleeping. It all happened during covid. I got divorced in it and realized I needed to start working out and get more motivated or else I'd lead a sedentary lifestyle. I really got into kettlebells and it's improved my life and well being. I write, so I don't feel the need for journaling. Meditation I can do without because I drive for a living and I have an iPod for my walks. That's all the meditating I need. And I agree with hanging out with friends and human interaction. I'm from LA where most of my friends are. Got divorced in Cincinnati where I know no one except work friends. And they're great friends. But just recently I've been trying to get organized and just hanging out with people and meeting new folks. I think that's a life changer. Actually, it needed to be in my case.
I think journaling is particularly good when you're working towards something, like getting better at a sport or playing an instrument or working up to climb Mount Everest or something like that.
I've read more books in my late 20's early 30's than I've read my whole life before that. I personally love just finding a new word and adding it to my vocabulary. I've had a lot of women ask me what certain words mean and it adds another simple conversation dynamic.
Regarding looks, I’ll never forget my friends and I looking for jobs in London during the summer at university. One of them had done modeling. We walked in to an agency and from the moment we did the staff spoke to all of us but looked only at the model! It was remarkable watching the power of good looks. Not as powerful as being wealthy or having connections but it does make things easier!
I took your advice from another video when you said to use a planner and also put it into your phone, I have adhd and im very forgetful, the 5+ alarms set for appointments/important events has saved my tail a few times now. Thank you courtney
Very interesting. "No Alcohol" has made a very limited difference to me, but I also drink very little. The social circle is huge, and I agree here. Exercise is right, but it has diminishing returns. The step from a sedentary lifestyle to fitness is a huge one. There are definitely gains beyond that, but they won't be as drastic. (I feel the same is true for nutrition. Once you leave fast food behind and prepare your own meals you have gained a lot.) Image is a double-edged sword. Cleaning yourself up definitely works, but when you start comparing yourself to other people it can do harm. Sleep is right on, a positive mindset can't be overstated, and the same is true for setting goals. Planning is necessary, but can be overdone. I personally only track what I need to do, not what I have done. Planning is fine as a means to an end from my perspective. Limit screen time, I would strongly agree. Waking up early will depend on the person, at least from my perspective. Reading is almost in the S-category for me. If you don't research and read you won't be able to evaluate news sources. (Journaling, Meditation, and Affirmations are things I don't need in my life.) So, I think I largely agree with Courtney.
I think she's clearly targeting the heavy drinkers. Alcohol is embedded in every aspect of American culture. Happy? Sad? Angry? Celebrating? Just got off work? Hanging out with friends? Sports? Booze. Find a tv show where the friends aren't drinking in every single scene. Most people are functional alcoholics in denial. Image - The issue here is that image in this case is according to her personal style. The assertion that all guys have the "girlfriend effect" and change everything about themselves because of her is outright stupid and if you change everything for a woman, you're just a little bitch who doesn't deserve respect and ultimately won't get any from her.
I agree with pretty much everything you say in this video, and I think it's genuinely all good advice. However, I will add that it might be too overwhelming if one tried to change all these habits all at once. Instead, start by picking a few of these - maybe one that sounds relatively easy and one that sounds more difficult - and just stick to them for a few months and see what happens. I will add one good habit which I've got from Jordan B. Peterson: Every day do one small thing that makes the day tomorrow just a little bit better. This could be something as mundane as washing the dishes today instead of doing it tomorrow. Or it could be to get some sort of physical excercise no matter how little it is. Or it could be to start on one of the habits from this video. Godspeed to everyone out there who is trying to improve themselves. You can do it!
Good video Courtney. As you mentioned at the start (despite the title) I don't think these things are only relevant to men, but are just as important to women too. I don't really see the benefit of ranking them, but maybe some people will find that important. I agree with the vast majority of the things you mentioned and would suggest they are all very important. However there are 4 that I wouldn't have in the list at all, and it's interesting that three of them were lowest on your list ... affirmation, meditation and journalling. The fourth one I wouldn't have included is mindset change. I think a change of mindset is often required and very important, but it's not something that you should focus on. I think a lot of people make that mistake. A change of mindset or attitude is the end product or output of the other things. So for example if you you make yourself aware of the benefits of sleep, of exercise, of good nutrition, and the disadvantages of such as alcohol for example, then your mindset towards how you live in relation to these things will change. 🙂
Thank you, Courtney. This is one of the best I've ever heard you talk about and I believe it's in your top 5 presentations. I also watch Coach Melanie, Joyanima, and Sarah Dawson. I would appreciate you doing some presentations on matching what these people are saying like you do with the other guys and their sites. Thank you.
I’d be inclined to put meditation at the S tier, possibly higher or at the same level as exercise. It is THAT important for me. Meditation (which is really self-reflection) was the tool that led me to want to re-invent myself, take care of myself, work out, etc, and remove all the bad habits I was partaking in. For many, it can be an easier entry way than working out consistently as it requires barely any effort or investment other than a small amount of your time each day. I think 1 thing people fail to realize is that when you start to meditate, your focus for other things vastly improves, so you can get everything done quicker & more efficiently. Another thing this unlocks is you starting to view everything as a meditation, which greatly increases the experience of the activity. Working out is a meditation; playing an instrument or making art are meditations as well. This is part of a mindset shift Courtney talks about here as well, so if you think about it, meditating is like knocking multiple birds out on this list with a very simple, daily practice.
Meditation is life changing. Agree with your comment. I used to struggle meditating too - got antsy after a few minutes but I persevered and I have found it to be extremely blissful. I now try to meditate twice daily, for 15 minutes. It really helps me plan/organize, not be stressed and give me the energy to handle anything.
One of the nicest things about having an Asian wife who is a gourmet cook is consistently eating quality home cooked meals with minimum preservatives and additives. Thirty years of this has made a big difference in my life.
My lovely wife always told our two boys while they were growing up "Show me your friends and I will show you your future". I found this to be true with me and my two brothers!
100% Courtney, since i started watching your channel my habits have changed, i spend more time on the mirror, groom more, i've done my hand nails, gonna have a hair cut soon. it's more of a "girl friend effect" people whom i meet outside seems having moods less attractive than mine ... very strange feeling... you nailed it right in the head ...that's the word "girlfriend effect" Also, staying away from toxic people is good cure to our souls but if you can't because of a trauma bonding, pray more and stay strong , you aren't alone in this, many people were born with some negative people around them. It shapes the way people are raised, probably this why watching Courtney's videos and content like hers help us gain insight and confidence to build upon. Some people are narcissists, they are naysayers to whatever you do. They try to mock you or bully you when they see you working on yourself and trying to improve. Really, trauma bonding is a fact don't lessen its importance it shapes our lives. What good people have done bad??... in order that God doomed them to narcissists, is it their bad luck ? or their beautiful souls? Believe it or not, there are some beautiful souls breathing under this "shining sun" that are feeling bitter not because of a bad relationship but because of their lives. GOD BLESS THESE BEAUTIFUL SOULS! HELP THEM! SAVE THEM FROM BAD PEOPLE.
So you weren't doing the very basic things to take care of yourself and needed a UA-camr to emulate an absurd "girlfriend effect" to trim your nails? 🤦♂
I love Courtney so much ! She is one of the best self improvement UA-camrs out there . She has a genuine approach and genuinely cares about men’s health and men’s approach to dating .
I gave up alcohol early this year, best decision ive ever made. I was telling people in my circle last year i felt like quitting alcohol and they were shocked to hear me say it. Trust me once you quit alcohol so many benefits start happening. I gained so much respect from people once i told them i quit. I actually didn't expect that part tbh cause i just wanted to close that chapter of my life.
My worst thing for me is self-confidence, liking myself and loneliness. The hardest thing for me is changing my Mindset cause I know I have to change the first 2 things to even have a chance at affecting the 3rd. About 2 months ago I set a goal to exercise more routinely to possibly help with my confidence. I've maintained that and my confidence has gotten a little better by sticking to the exercise plan and knowing/seen that I've gotten physically stronger. Which lead to learning/working on and finishing some projects around the house. Doing those things has helped a little too but nowhere near enough as I hoped. I still have a few more projects to do and a few more weeks for my exercise goal. I don't feel that is going to be enough to get my confidence up to actually liking myself a little. Hopefully achieving my exercise goal and the finishing remaining projects will have a bigger impact than I think.
I agree with your comment about exercise, Courtney. Personally after getting in shape during the pandemic ... and having bipolar (diagnosis is from a clinician) ... I know firsthand that exercise is a phenomenal way to safely get out of an episode a bit sooner. Both my psychiatrist and therapist agree. This is Andrew Keener. Here's how I would rank things: -Exercise and nutrition, and sleep I'd put in that very top tier. -Not drinking, journaling, and setting goals the next tier down. -Reading, waking up early and sleep, image, planning, and the company you keep the tier below that. -Planning, screen time, and goals in the tier below that. -Meditation and affirmations the very last tier.
When it comes to reading, I think what's most important is to keep learning more information. The medium in which you learn is not necessarily what's most important. Educational UA-cam videos can also do the same (although they might not deep-dive into a particular subject as much as a whole book would). Never stop learning & improving.
I’m learning languages! Italian and French during the week days, Spanish and German on the weekends and holidays! It’s allowed me to connect with a girl I recently met at church who loves languages, she likes French and Russian.
Putting things on your list that you've done so you can check them off does not show that there is something wrong with you. It shows that you are finding the way within the obstacle. Your mind seeks affirmation for good behavior doing what you're doing is a solution to this that doesn't involve reaching for another distraction and it keeps your focus where it should be ... on the list. Good Job. Thanks for the content.
It's a good sign when u notice u seem to have more thoughts and ur anxious when u meditate, but u keep going, that's the point, to just be with ur mind n feelings no matter what, & then u take that keener awareness of whats happening inside non-judgmentally with u in everyday life (its a long journey but that's why they call it practice). Ideally, silent but with sound at first is fine. Walking meditation n mindfulness is a good way to start off too, plus, theres many types of meditation...
Very good list overall. Two of my best friends are smokers but I never have or will. Are the gf and wife effects similar? One thing I've never understood is the more positive reception I get from women when my ring is on. Even wearing cargo shorts! Clarence Thomas said something like "never let the sun catch you in bed." My guess is that most people don't even know how to eat properly. We're too rushed and convenience is valued over nutritional content.
This ought to be interesting. Fortunately I'm like 17 years ahead of the herd because I've been pursuing self-improvement since I was a teenager growing up without a father yet pursuing many many mentors. I'm definitely going to be adding to this list
My wife and I went on a cruise a few years ago, and it was really amazing how much different people acted on formal night. People were dressed better and they acted better as well.
Thank you for doing this, Courtney. In regards to No1, my Father always said that, "A man is judged by the company he keeps", I've found throughout the years that this is definitely the case.
So a third of the way in and two observations: 1. Women demand you do everything at the highest level. 2. While more and more woman disregard all of the items in the S at this point. This is why when my nephews ask about dating I tell them they have better things to do than chase women.
Courtney, thanks for such an informative video. I was in a dark place this morning and your video put me in a better mood. One thing I need to start doing is eating better, and getting better sleep. Reading and exercise has helped me but I do lack in the areas that I mentioned.
This is one of your better videos and a nice change of pace from the reaction videos, and yes, affirmations can be a double-edged sword. If you're fighting some things internally, it can be a game changer and a thread to hang onto when things get rough.
Affirmations can help you put your focus on the fact you are the only person who can change you. Looking for a woman or a friend or booze or substances isn’t going to get the job done. You always have to do the work on yourself.
the technique i learned that makes meditation "work" is when you have thoughts, treat them like clouds. say, "oh hey, there's a cloud, cool" and let it drift by, another thought? cool! identify it, recognize it let it drift by. and start with just 10 minutes or so. go into it with the knowledge that you will have thoughts! and your job is to identify them, and watch them drift away. one after another. once you get good at that, there will be fewer clouds and more blue sky.
Great video. All of these items are worth trying at least. My tiers would be: S: Nutrition and Sleep - Very bad habits in either can kill you over time and great habits do make my whole life better Must Try: Excercise, Your Circle and Mind Shift - positivity that can be productive and improve your life Good: No alcolhol, Reading, Image, Setting Goals, Planning, Limiting Screen Time - all positive and worth doing Worth Trying: Everything else :) Most guys love tiers so good choice though maybe we can help you add a little more variety to your tier choices, lol.
Great information. An additional thought for nutrition is this quote, "You are what you digest." I believe it's from Dr. Steven Gundry(could be wrong on this since I read a couple books on nutrition). Also, I know he can be controversial for some, even myself, but the statement really emphasizes the important aspect of what your body absorbs. Courtney, I've really enjoyed your videos with the practical and calm approach that you take.
I gotta say, it’s a slow process, but things are starting to get better. Both your videos, and this How to be like Christian Grey video I saw is really helping.
Thank you for the exceptional self improvement tier list, I always enjoy your content and appreciate the effort and thought you put into your videos. thank you again. ☺
A few I'll comment on. As you can guess by the screen name, I am a runner. Been running since 1991. I knew the importance of exercising from there. In 2018 I had to stop for a while was going thru some crap I wouldn't wish on anyone. My weight ballooned to 300 pounds and I was eating like crap. I got a wake up call in 2019 when I had a DVT blood clot in my right leg, and a saddle pulmonary embolism in my lungs. The ER doctors told me that I was not far from a disaster. After recovering and discussing with my cardiologist, I asked her if I could try to start running again and adding some work out exercises like sit ups push ups, leg lifts, squats, etc.. She gave me a cautious okay, and I did. I also started eating much better. More fruits and veggies, less processed and snack food garbage, and drastically reducing my refined sugar intake. Through hard work and dedication I have dropped from 300 pounds to 180. Waist has gone from 46 to 32. Cholesterol numbers are greatly improved. Other blood test numbers are very good for someone my age. Even better, since the blood clot, I've run the Boston Marathon twice (marathons #19 and 20 in my career). In 2005 i quit drinking alcohol. Not because I had a problem with it, but because I would notice when running on the day after drinking alcohol I felt like garbage out there. I figured it wasn't helping me, so why put it in my body. Haven't had a drop since, and I don't miss it. So for nutrition, exercise and alcohol I would 100% agree. These can be life changing! On the sleep one, I struggle with this. I have never slept well, and am lucky if I get 4-5 hours of sleep, and most is light sleep, not the deep recovery sleep or REM sleep. My body just doesn't like to shut down. Image? I truly suck at that one. My circle? Keep it small. Trust no one. Setting Goals? I stopped doing that. I ALWAYS set them way too high, and unachievable, then felt miserable when I couldn't achieve them. My goal is to get through each day. The rest? I can take or leave. A couple others I would add to your list Courtney. 1.) Budgeting. Learn how to set a budget and live within or below your means. If you can reduce the stress in your life about money, it will improve your life a lot. 2.) If you have the means, saving and investing. If you have the means putting something away for retirement and/or a rainy day can be quite meaningful, reduce stress as you approach retirement, and make you a lot happier.
My rankings (not that it matters) 🤣: Your Circle(s): A (You're judged by the company you keep) Exercise: S (it's also what keeps you from seeing me at work -- I'm an ER and CC physician) Nutrition: S+ -- This is actually more important than exercise. I can go for weeks about this. Image: A -- Grooming is important. Hygiene is important. But from experience? I've found that the blue collar look helped me with air of gravitas. Priming gave mixed results. (Tiege Hanley is awesome, BTW) Sleep (for me) D 🤣 -- I've worked just fine for decades on 4 hours of sleep, w/ two 15 minute power naps. Your mileage may vary. Reading: S+ -- If you're "well read"? You'll stand out to me. Looks are okay. Your CV doesn't interest me. What you read, and what you convey from it, gets me interested in your thoughts. Mindset Shift: A -- (it depends). Empathy is great. Looking at various vantage points is key to me. Me? I like looking at things Socratically. Goal setting: S++ - Complacency is the devil's playground. And no goals would make for letting the world pass you by. Affirmations: D - I don't succeed from affirmation. I'm usually brutally honest with my days, so I can improve on things where I'm lacking. The opposite is how I've gotten this far. No alcohol/substances - A -- I don't typically drink. Maybe twice a year, and it's customary (drink to fallen, and one is ceremonial - lunar New Year) Planning/Organization - A - I'm pretty rote, in method. The Galaxy Fold 5 that I use keeps a few notes and organizer, but it's only for engagements. Still, better tidy on times, right? Early riser - S++ : I am generally up at 5:30, and finishing exercise at 6:30. The time to get things done is greater for me. Meditation: A -- Meditation can be done many ways. As simple as deep breaths works. (I meditate after work). I argue that every Cleveland sports fan can benefit from meditation. 🤣 Limiting screen time: B - It's nearly impossible for me, career wise. If I could go to the 90s, when we still used paper for everything? I would. Increase this to a S+, if we mean "touching grass" (which I believe wholeheartedly in - and will drive an hour to do). Journalling: S+++ - This helped me greatly for decades, and when I am gone, there will be decades for anyone to read. I have literally two "bookcases" of my life, from age 4 to present, journalled, in my study. Maybe someone from my family in the future would want to read it? I don't know. 🤷 Good video, as always.
I think this may be the first time I have to say it is fine for someone putting more items in S tier than anything else. There shouldve been lesser habits like cleaning, networking etc
Replace TikTok and Reels with long-form UA-cam videos and I bet that will automatically help (for both learning & mental health). I spend a lot of time online but yeah you gotta go outside sometimes lmao. My screen time on my phone is only about 2 hours per day but on my computer it is 6 lol
I would put 'Journaling' in the 'Skip it' category, because we already get upset on too many things that are out of our control, writing it down is only going to remind us of how powerless we are. Correct me if you think I'm wrong.
Hey court, I like your fashion and fragrance lists of the ones that you enjoy, please do more men's style content. We like to know what chic women want in a man's appearance
I am doing well. My employer keeps giving more responsibilities. I have 6 people reporting to me now. And now I have to host meetings. This is all new to me. My dad has leadership skills and is giving me advice. Now that I host the meetings, I can schedule the meetings for my times.
I would recommend learning to play a music instrument. It requires lots of discipline for rehearsing and trains the social skills to interact with other musicians. Also you're getting into very elite social circles at orchestras, etc. This is especially useful when aiming for high value partners.
I can more or less agree with most of the items and how you arrange them. I would just move reading into S-tier. Reading an interesting book will enrich your life tremendously. And I would also move "No alcohol" into B-tier and rename it into "No alcohol from time to time". I don't mind if someone is a non-drinker (good for you!) but honestly in my life and in my social circle I would feel like a loser if I went to a bar or a restaurant with couple of my friends, they would all order a beer and I would order an apple juice... I regularly skip drinking alcohol sometimes but there are occasions when having a beer with your friends has also a higher meaning than just indulging... I'm from Czech republic btw so maybe I'm heavily biased.
If you're not an alcoholic, I agree with you. However, there is no reason to feel like a loser just because you're not drinking in a social situation when others are. If they judge you for it, they're not your friends, so fuck 'em. But I disagree that having a beer with friends has any higher meaning. There MIGHT be certain situations in life where that's true (various cultural situations, special events, or the mob boss offers you a drink and you best not say no)....but just chillin' with buddies watching a game? That's all in your head and stupid cultural stereotypes. America is the same way. Find a single tv show or movie that doesn't involve booze in every. single. situations. You can't because it doesn't exist. People have been brainwashed to think it's necessary or normal and it's not.
This is great, and I've been implementing all these protocols into my life, and I'm also aware to NOT become a self-help junkie, and be okay to break the rules every once in a while, as life is meant to be enjoyed, not enforced :)
I agree with do what works for you. I think an underlying item is get to know yourself. Not what others say you should be. My problem with reading and meditation is my mind wonders too much. I think the point behind reading is put quality new information into your brain. This can be audio books, especially if you are an audio learner like a good documentary. I am not sure reading a mindless book is much different than a watching mindless video or tv show. I've also found that I journaling didn't do much for me. I have found that writing 'poetry', just for myself, helped more because it is focused on my emotional expression in reaction to events where my journaling tends to read more like a status report. I also want to put in performing music, particularly singing or a wind instrument. Done properly this encourages diaphragmic breathing like breathwork does and it stimulates the vagus nerve which does good things for your body.
Dammit Courtney! I love your insights here, but I have a smart friend who will frequently say: "If everything is a priority, then nothing is a priority." I think she's right, and I think your S-tier is too busy. ;) So I'll take my own truncated stab at this whole thing: S: *Exercise:* All hail the king. It's the most important thing anyone can do, and it improves every aspect of your life. If you don't have an exercise routine, skip everything else Courtney or I said, and get on that first. *Circle:* I agree here! This is criminally underrated, and where many people go wrong. Your social circle is immeasurably powerful, you really are the average of your 5 closest people. Notice who props you up, and who drags you down. Try to spend more time with the former, and less with the latter. *Sleep:* Similar to exercise, this underpins everything. You need good sleep to optimize your performance everywhere else. A: *Meditation:* I've done it for years, and I take Courtney's point. It's a REALLY difficult skill to acquire some level of competency at. But once you do, it becomes and extremely powerful tool for mental and emotional regulation. It'd be S if it were more accessible, but I understand it's hard for others to pick up. *Image (Looks):* This is extremely important. People who think "looks don't matter" are the shallow ones in my book. Looks reflect *so much* about a person. Their habits, their self care and self respect, their health, and mental health. Your body is your Earthly vessel. How well you take care of it says a *lot* about you. *Planning / Organizing:* The more important big brother to "goals" - it's important to have a system to organizing one's life. Use a calendar, set routines and rituals. Systematize and idiot-proof the good habits and watch your results soar. *Reading:* Mileage will vary here. Not all books are equal. Always a decent activity, but some books are human's greatest wisdom (like Guns, Germs and Steel) and others are fun entertainment. Always good, but maybe not life-changing. B: *Limit Screen Time:* Definitely important for many people. Screens can have good utility, and most of us use them for many reasons both productive and idly, but this is something I'd recommend people get a better handle on broadly - even if it's lower in my book to everything above this (much of which WILL take you away from a screen). *Nutrition:* Wondering why it's this far down? I think nutrition is something that's easy to get stuck in the weeds on, personally. It's very important to be mindful of what you eat, don't get me wrong, but I think most people broadly know what foods are healthy and which aren't. Get a yearly physical, and work with you physician to track which areas need improvement. *No Alcohol:* This is a good one, but probably not very accessible. I at least suggest to strongly limit alcohol consumption. I drink a mere few times a year (mostly holidays) and that seems fine. Alcohol are hollow calories among other bad things. C: *Goal Setting:* Why so low? Well I don't think this is an issue most people have. Who doesn't want to lose weight? Or buy a house? Or get a good spouse and maybe start a family? Good career, etc? People have goals, in my experience, they lack habits. You know how much weight you need to lose, you just need to get to the gym and start eating better. *Waking Up Early:* Wouldn't know, never tried it. ;) I sleep as late as I need to. I'm nocturnal by my nature, and it's fine for me. Might be fine for others, maybe most, but I think what's more important is the S-tier "get enough sleep". Fine a schedule that works for *you* and don't let the world tell you what that should be. *Mindset Shift:* This seems too nebulous and unactionable to be something I put any higher. I've had points in my life where a mindset shift has helped, but it feels like putting the cart before the horse. If someone needs help, I don't know if telling them to "change mindset" is going to help them. It's like if someone said "what should I do to get rich?" and you replied "Make smart financial decisions." It's not technically wrong, but it's basically not specific advice. That's what they're here for! *Journaling:* Meh, tried it. It's ok, but I don't find a ton of value here personally. D: *Affirmations:* I don't know enough about this, but it seems skippable. There are meditation techniques (like Metta) that probably capture everything good about this, without being weirdly delusional.
As a dude who wakes up at 5am every day, I can say that the "reason" you would wake up early is the thing you would benefit from. Some people wake up early and go into hyper-productive mode so they have more leeway during the day and that is a healthy reason but just waking up early to do nothing probably won't change your life much.
Hi Courtney: Fiction books can be very life-changing-books like the Narnia series, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Tolstoy’s War and Peace, Orwell’s 1984, All the King’s Men, Rabbit Run, In Cold Blood, A Canticle for Leibowitz, etc-can be transformative for our personal character and provide catharsis for our deepest soul. Would you like me to make a list of fictional stories that you could recommend to your viewers?
I showed a girl that I was dating one of your past videos criticizing how a women was talking bad about ALL MEN. The girl I was dating said you are a misogynist, and that this kind of content is trash, and by showing her the video she thinks that I am trying to say that she is like the women you were criticizing, no matter how much I tried telling her no, I dont think shes like that women.. Long story short she told me that I am not good enough for her because I have insecurities, I live with my parents still thus not COMPLETELY financially independent, and since I live with my brother, step father, and mother (moms blind).. my step father and brother are lazy and dont clean up the house much, and I get taken advantaged if I did all the cleaning, my room is decently clean, but it was a dealbreaker for her that I didnt wash my bed sheets in 2 weeks. I accepted her for all her flaws and tried my best to love her.. but she still abandoned me and it hurts like hell putting so much effort into someone, for them to tell me I'm not enough and just by watching this content is a red flag. When I tried to reason with her and said I would definetely help her keep the house clean if I ever was in a relationship with her.. she said, well you love your mom right and you dont do it for her.. if I went blind, you wouldnt do it for me either.. which is not true at all.. I just dont like being taken advantage of in my current household and criticized when I do the cleaning, and there is 2 other capable adults here too, and they dont help at all. To which her solution then was "just move the f out then" without understanding that I dont want to be living paycheck to paycheck and alone and isolated in an apartment by myself.. and even if I did move out for her, she could still leave me in a few months anyways and find something else she doesnt like about me.. She blocked me without me even getting the chance to show her I would clean up more, especially my room and bed sheets.
I would just like to state. It's important that both parties are putting forth that same level of effort. However, that sticking point is where the overwhelming majority of people (men or women) fall flat.
As much as I agree with this list, I do not do this. I need to go to the gym more, sleep more, and groom better. I think a good excuse for lack of sleep and gym time is staying a fulltime student and working fulltime. Sacrafices can be made I guess, but the truth should be that we do these things that improve us without sacrificing the other points. But sometimes you can only do so much, so the best is to just improve and be the best I can be in that moment. Thanks for the reminder
In the case of reading, Some of the best books for men that are life changing are things like Stoic philosophy, The book called Power, And anything that teaches how to save, invest and become the best male you can be.
Get 30% off your first box, plus a FREE gift, when you give Tiege Hanley a try at tiege.com/crranking
Dear Miss Courtney, thank you for this and all the videos you do. Personally, I've got to a point in my life, where I am trying to let go of anger towards anyone. Humanity MUST learn to communicate more. It may seem like nothing, but communicating could prevent or stop wars?
We are all brothers and sisters of the human race family. And this family can and should be doing so much better.
I haven't watched the video fully but I HAVE been reading the time stamps below. And eating better IS powerful. A better diet will do wonders for someone who suffers from depression (which I do). I can say, personally, it has improved my mental state, both within and without you (Beatles reference).
And remember it's creating a positive domino effect. Healthy eating = a better mental out look = engaging with the world = opening doors and opportunities and so on.
So, to all the men and women out there who are going through tough times? I want you to know, if you work hard on your life and NEVER give up - you will 'break on to the other side' (as the Doors once sang).
And when you're happier and at peace with yourself? That IS a natural, magnetic force, which WILL bring others into your life (and it can be anything - not just dating).
Good luck everyone and god bless,
Peace and love,
David
I disagree. Eating healthy depresses me because all that health food tastes like ass.
I mean you're hot Courtney , but no for tiege pls..
terrible video courtney
Thank you for being honest and candid about everything. As apposed to others giving advice out there I don't sense a hidden agenda. Everything you say makes sense and is good for relationships as well as your own self being! Thank you!!!
I can't emphasize enough just by my personal experience alone how impactful improving your looks has on your entire life. It's a hard pill to swallow and talk about because people want to be valued for their intrinsic worth. But it's really hard to zoom in on intrinsic worth if the extrinsic is out of order.
Excellent 👍🏻
“How you look” vs “your look” is two different things, one is discouraging the other is very much in our control.
Look's aren't all that. I'm a good looking guy with a good personality but I got declined for 800 jobs I applied to. Only got 2 interviews from those 800 applications and no job offer. Most the jobs I applied for I had experience and met the qualifications.
Yes I know but time . Feminist "Cherry pick". Say no so you are respected.
Your social skills/circle carry more weight in the end. Theres plenty of dudes who are above average in looks that have poor social skills and as a result have a miserable time trying to find a woman. The same can be said for something like a job interview. You can be the most qualified candidate in the world, but if you are just some weird, socially mal-adjusted guy in the interview, it's probably not gonna work out. Improving your looks is great, but too many guys focus on this and don't go out of their way to improve any social elements of their lives.e
As a dude with a wife...I believe the girlfriend effect is a combination of two things.
1) having a girlfriend signals to other girls that there is a girl that likes you, so there is something there to like.
2) having a girlfriend boosts your confidence with other women since you don't have an agenda when talking to them (hopefully).
It sounds like you have a wife and a girlfriend or your wife is your girlfriend 😂 ❤
that second part is so true lol
This is true anecdotally and scientifically
No.1 is my brother.
He was saying once to stop caring what others think, that he picks his nose in front of his female coworkers and they still hit on him. I kept silent but smiled: They do because he's been married for almost 20 years, has a good stable marriage and job and two wonderful daughters.
A married guy like than is drowning out his nose picking with signals of high value. If he were still single all his coworkers would see is the nose picking and be disgusted by it.
I really hope the nose picking thing is just rhetorical and not literal!@@nektulosnewbie
Important things: 1:01 First Thing - Your Circle; 2:30 Second Thing - Exercise; 3:56 Third Thing - Nutrition; 5:13 Fourth Thing - Your Image; 8:52 Fifth Thing - Sleep; 9:56 Sixth Thing - Reading; 11:43 Seventh Thing - Mindset Shift; 13:20 Eight Thing - Setting Goals; 14:38 Ninth Thing - Affirmation; 16:04 Tenth Thing - No Alcohol; 16:56 Eleventh Thing - Planning / Organization; 17:46 Twelfth Thing - Waking Up Early; 19:40 Thirteenth Thing - Meditation; 21:398 Fourteenth Thing - Limiting Screen Time; 24:07 Fifteenth Thing - Journaling; and 25:11 To summarize all the told here.
I remember when I had to go to college, I had to wake up in 4:00 AM, sometimes in 4:30 AM, cause I had lectures in 6:00 AM (believe it or not) (since you have mentioned Twelfth Thing - Waking Up Early).
On Tenth Thing such as No Alcohol, I might add also one thing as well. But first I have to apologize to some people that might find this insulting, cause my purpose is not to do that. And that is No Cigars. Smoking is not good for health at all. I don't smoke, and I don't drink alcohol (and I completely understand you Courtney).
As for Fourteenth Thing such as Limiting Screen Time, I might add that not just to stop scrolling down the phone. We should also stop scrolling too much either laptop, or either PC.
As for Thirteenth Thing such as Meditation, the good meditation can be also having a hobby. And one of the hobbies that can also solve the problems with meditation can be assembling the model kits of airplanes, helicopters, tanks, etc.
From all the told here The Ultimate Men’s Self-Improvement Habits Ranking, can be summarized to one thing. And thing I think that I have mentioned in some of your videos. It goes like this: Mens sana in corpore sano which means in Latin: "In healthy mind, a healthy body."
Thank you so much Courtney. It means a lot ❤💙🤍.
Bless ya
@@222333aaaaaa Thank you.
I keep my list short. Feminism is getting out of hand. Good women don't need such a long list. If you do what this high maintenance list says? You are fucked. Never let a women with unrealistic expectations tell you anything. Do you think this woman does all those things? Hell no!
I like finding your comments on This channel
Wow, thanks for the work. Saved me 25 minutes
As a man who’s currently staying at a men’s shelter it’s refreshing watching Courtney’s videos. It reminds me to strive to be a better version of myself and that it’s okay to have standards even If the world around me doesn’t. Thank you Courtney
Keep going man, God is not done with you!
Be well soon
Her voice is refreshingly soft and feminine unlike a lot of a other sheilas!
Good luck, man!
@@caleb9472 lol the way this reads makes it sound like God is gonna put him in a worse situation than he already did to him...
The exercise one really is huge. I never worked out as a teenager, just didn't really cross my mind to do it. Now I aim to work out a minimum of 3 times a week every week which I think is pretty realstic and attainable. I chose not to work out for a week a few weeks ago just to take a break and give my body a rest and it had a massive negative impact on my mental health, I felt so down towards the end of the week and my body felt gross physically because I'd basically been lazy all week.
I don't understand how as a kid/teenager I just never worked out but now honestly I can't imagine a world where I'm not doing it, I don't even care too much about being "ripped" or the aesthetic side of it, I just think it's a crucial part of having good mental health. I'll be 50 and still going to the gym, no doubt about it.
Keep it up. This effect only magnifies with age.
In my 40s I was focused more on career and raising my son, and I became physically lazier and slid into a "dad bod". Not obese but a bit overweight, exercising inconsistently maybe 2-3 times per week. I had episodes of low back pain and severe sciatica that I'm convinced were related to weight and inactivity.
Now into my 50s as an empty nester looking forward to early retirement, fitness is a priority again. I do vigorous cardio daily (competitive cycling) and calisthenics on most days. I'm 30 lbs lighter always ripped since I'm low bodyfat and vascular. People have commented that I look younger than I did in my 40s, and I feel great.
Fitness and health are super important. The physical, mental and emotional states of being are tightly interconnected. In my experience, the former is by far the easiest to affect and manipulate. Just takes willpower and consistency...
Editing to add:
I believe the fitness route I followed throughout life is about optimal, minus my lazy period.
Teens to early 20s, basically a gym rat putting a lot of muscle.
Mid 20s to around 40, competitive athlete (amateur cyclist).
[mostly sedentary in my 40s]
50s I've returned to hardcore cycling, but with *a lot* more easy recovery days. I've also improved diet and added daily calisthenics.
In a nutshell, early on in life I recommend a strength, musculature development focus, and late 20s onward an aerobic/anaerobic, cardiovascular focus. Optimally, always do both cardio and resistance training. I'm talking priorities. The long list of benefits, most importantly overall quality of life, that regular cardio brings is even more important as we age.
It's pretty cool how, for some of us at least, once the body gains muscle mass it tries to hold onto it. I haven't been to a gym in decades but still look like I lift.
Life is simple, I see a Courtney Ryan video upload, I click on it. Thank you for your consistent uploads and content 😇
The only hard working consistent female creator in the history of UA-cam.
Fun fact she lost her ears in an accident when she was little. Thats why she doesnt show them. Still very pretty
I been tryna make it out the hood so on my UA-cam channel i do food reviews while I’m high cx
@@familyengineering5591i just saw one of her ears tho
@@familyengineering5591what was the accident?
Yes, exercise and nutrition are often overlooked in terms of self-improvement. Feeling good is a definite plus as far as confidence goes.
Fashion and sleep are two areas that I will struggle with. I have zero fashion sense and I have never really been a sound sleeper.
I was walking yesterday morning when a woman went by on her bicycle and she called out, "Good Morning" and I said it back. It was a nice feeling.
Thanks for all of your advice, Courtney! Have a wonderful week ahead!
You should watch some retro episodes of “what not to wear”!!
"Exercise and nutrition are often overlooked in terms of self-improvement."
Uh... really. OK.
Cargo Shorts.
@@steveunderhill5935
It’s up to us to change our lives, for both men & women. We must realize that we are fully capable of addressing our needs & only then will we be able to protect our romantic partners with emotional nourishment & strength.
Taking a step back away from certain friends is one of the hardest thing to do when you don’t have many, but it opens up the space for better ones
The first 2 are absolutely S TIER! So grateful one of my friends is my personal trainer and fellow veteran! Since then, my confidence has boomed by a factor of 10!
Hi Tommy! Agreed! 👍🏼
@@CourtneyRyanI don't think it'll surprise you that I gained that confidence to meet the girl that I've been talking to, and yes, we've met up in real time haha. We still have a date coming up
Exercise is S tier and I'm glad she expressed it that way. Of it was "working out" I'd say it should be lower cause I used to workout all the time and my joints and body still hate me for it. Now I just run (about 30 miles or more a week) and I feel the best I have as an adult. Not saying working out and going to a gym is bad but the important part is being active and putting down the donuts
My two brothers and I have super divergent paths in life. I'm talking about my success in all parts of life to their relative lack of success. And I attribute a huge part of my success from my desire to look good. Because of that desire, I have been working out and lifting weights consistently since I was 16. Can't emphasize enough how making time for working out will change you for the better.
One method of “journaling” that has been helpful for me is just writing out my thoughts on a simple 3x5 notecard. It’s not as permanent as a notebook type journal but I can keep a stack of notecards at work, at home, in my vehicle etc. then consolidate them in a box later on. It’s a quick and concise way of recording your thoughts.
You’ve been like a big sister to all of us on here. Always coming in with helpful tips and gems. Thanks for all the great content Courtney. Congrats on 600K plus. Also happy new month. May it bring you continued good health, happiness, money, travel and success.
Oh you are so kind, thank you my friend. Wishing you all the best! 🤍
I think surrounding yourself with better content is an important one that a lot of people miss or get misguided on
Journaling has been life-changing for me 👏
firstly in terms of organization (I write my todo list in the evening for the next day and can check things I've already done - which also gives me a spiritual boost/feeling of accomplishment),
secondly for my mental health as I can write down my feelings if I feel like it after a tough day/phase.
Now as most criteria are in the S Tier, let's find a woman that meets those standards 🤔😅
I don't drink. I am allergic, so it is easy to not drink for me lol. I find this a hindrance to dating tbh. Some women don't care, a minority think it great and some get weirded out by it. Drinking is such an ingrained part of our culture that some people don't know how to handle social interactions without it. And yes I know that is sad, but it is true and the dating pool takes a bit of a hit if you don't want to drink. At least that is what I found.
Yeah, same. Not drinking makes everything difficult. All of Western adult culture revolves around drinking in my experience, especially dating. Maybe it's not as bad in America.
I dont drink much, or smoke any of those marijuana cigarettes, which alienates me from most of the eligible baccalaurettes, but when i find one, shes always a lady worth having known.
Breathwork is certainly S tier. I do a lot of it throughout the day, I try to develop a rhythm when I go for my post-meal walks and of course I do it after I stretch before I go to bed because it is important to not only relax the body, but relax the brain so you get quality sleep
Thank you for this. As someone who suffers from chronic depression. Getting off the internet and your phone is the best thing you can do 😝
The void is in my head, not the Internet. It follows me everywhere I go.
This will be a fun one to watch! I like to get better and better each day, and I make sure I stay to the healthy habit once I start it. Happy Sunday, Courtney and All; use this new week to start a healthy habit!
Have a good one my friend! 🤍
Courtney, I enjoy watching your videos in general. I find you being more in your natural state in this video. You were more free to express how you were feeling. You were not so concerned about how people will perceive you. You were OK being vulnerable and let people see your raw feelings. I think you are very passionate about some of the points in this video, and your natural feelings just bubbled out. I liked the authenticity of your presence in this video.
You’re so kind, thank you! I definitely felt more chatty and “myself” in this, so I’m glad that came across 😊
Dude, I'm the worst at sleeping. It all happened during covid. I got divorced in it and realized I needed to start working out and get more motivated or else I'd lead a sedentary lifestyle. I really got into kettlebells and it's improved my life and well being. I write, so I don't feel the need for journaling. Meditation I can do without because I drive for a living and I have an iPod for my walks. That's all the meditating I need. And I agree with hanging out with friends and human interaction. I'm from LA where most of my friends are. Got divorced in Cincinnati where I know no one except work friends. And they're great friends. But just recently I've been trying to get organized and just hanging out with people and meeting new folks. I think that's a life changer. Actually, it needed to be in my case.
I think journaling is particularly good when you're working towards something, like getting better at a sport or playing an instrument or working up to climb Mount Everest or something like that.
I've read more books in my late 20's early 30's than I've read my whole life before that. I personally love just finding a new word and adding it to my vocabulary. I've had a lot of women ask me what certain words mean and it adds another simple conversation dynamic.
Regarding looks, I’ll never forget my friends and I looking for jobs in London during the summer at university. One of them had done modeling. We walked in to an agency and from the moment we did the staff spoke to all of us but looked only at the model! It was remarkable watching the power of good looks. Not as powerful as being wealthy or having connections but it does make things easier!
I took your advice from another video when you said to use a planner and also put it into your phone, I have adhd and im very forgetful, the 5+ alarms set for appointments/important events has saved my tail a few times now. Thank you courtney
Courtney Ryan is the unsung hero for guys trying to do their very best with what they have.
Very interesting. "No Alcohol" has made a very limited difference to me, but I also drink very little. The social circle is huge, and I agree here. Exercise is right, but it has diminishing returns. The step from a sedentary lifestyle to fitness is a huge one. There are definitely gains beyond that, but they won't be as drastic. (I feel the same is true for nutrition. Once you leave fast food behind and prepare your own meals you have gained a lot.) Image is a double-edged sword. Cleaning yourself up definitely works, but when you start comparing yourself to other people it can do harm. Sleep is right on, a positive mindset can't be overstated, and the same is true for setting goals. Planning is necessary, but can be overdone. I personally only track what I need to do, not what I have done. Planning is fine as a means to an end from my perspective. Limit screen time, I would strongly agree. Waking up early will depend on the person, at least from my perspective. Reading is almost in the S-category for me. If you don't research and read you won't be able to evaluate news sources. (Journaling, Meditation, and Affirmations are things I don't need in my life.)
So, I think I largely agree with Courtney.
I think she's clearly targeting the heavy drinkers. Alcohol is embedded in every aspect of American culture. Happy? Sad? Angry? Celebrating? Just got off work? Hanging out with friends? Sports? Booze. Find a tv show where the friends aren't drinking in every single scene. Most people are functional alcoholics in denial. Image - The issue here is that image in this case is according to her personal style. The assertion that all guys have the "girlfriend effect" and change everything about themselves because of her is outright stupid and if you change everything for a woman, you're just a little bitch who doesn't deserve respect and ultimately won't get any from her.
I agree with pretty much everything you say in this video, and I think it's genuinely all good advice. However, I will add that it might be too overwhelming if one tried to change all these habits all at once. Instead, start by picking a few of these - maybe one that sounds relatively easy and one that sounds more difficult - and just stick to them for a few months and see what happens.
I will add one good habit which I've got from Jordan B. Peterson: Every day do one small thing that makes the day tomorrow just a little bit better. This could be something as mundane as washing the dishes today instead of doing it tomorrow. Or it could be to get some sort of physical excercise no matter how little it is. Or it could be to start on one of the habits from this video.
Godspeed to everyone out there who is trying to improve themselves. You can do it!
Soo true and I agree!
Good video Courtney. As you mentioned at the start (despite the title) I don't think these things are only relevant to men, but are just as important to women too. I don't really see the benefit of ranking them, but maybe some people will find that important. I agree with the vast majority of the things you mentioned and would suggest they are all very important. However there are 4 that I wouldn't have in the list at all, and it's interesting that three of them were lowest on your list ... affirmation, meditation and journalling. The fourth one I wouldn't have included is mindset change. I think a change of mindset is often required and very important, but it's not something that you should focus on. I think a lot of people make that mistake. A change of mindset or attitude is the end product or output of the other things. So for example if you you make yourself aware of the benefits of sleep, of exercise, of good nutrition, and the disadvantages of such as alcohol for example, then your mindset towards how you live in relation to these things will change.
🙂
Thank you, Courtney. This is one of the best I've ever heard you talk about and I believe it's in your top 5 presentations.
I also watch Coach Melanie, Joyanima, and Sarah Dawson.
I would appreciate you doing some presentations on matching what these people are saying like you do with the other guys and their sites.
Thank you.
Even though it was a quick mention, I’m so glad you brought up toxic positivity and that it is definitely a real thing.
I’d be inclined to put meditation at the S tier, possibly higher or at the same level as exercise. It is THAT important for me. Meditation (which is really self-reflection) was the tool that led me to want to re-invent myself, take care of myself, work out, etc, and remove all the bad habits I was partaking in. For many, it can be an easier entry way than working out consistently as it requires barely any effort or investment other than a small amount of your time each day. I think 1 thing people fail to realize is that when you start to meditate, your focus for other things vastly improves, so you can get everything done quicker & more efficiently. Another thing this unlocks is you starting to view everything as a meditation, which greatly increases the experience of the activity. Working out is a meditation; playing an instrument or making art are meditations as well. This is part of a mindset shift Courtney talks about here as well, so if you think about it, meditating is like knocking multiple birds out on this list with a very simple, daily practice.
Meditation is life changing. Agree with your comment. I used to struggle meditating too - got antsy after a few minutes but I persevered and I have found it to be extremely blissful. I now try to meditate twice daily, for 15 minutes. It really helps me plan/organize, not be stressed and give me the energy to handle anything.
One of the nicest things about having an Asian wife who is a gourmet cook is consistently eating quality home cooked meals with minimum preservatives and additives. Thirty years of this has made a big difference in my life.
My lovely wife always told our two boys while they were growing up "Show me your friends and I will show you your future". I found this to be true with me and my two brothers!
100% Courtney, since i started watching your channel my habits have changed, i spend more time on
the mirror, groom more, i've done my hand nails, gonna have a hair cut soon. it's more of a "girl friend effect"
people whom i meet outside seems having moods less attractive than mine ... very strange feeling...
you nailed it right in the head ...that's the word "girlfriend effect"
Also, staying away from toxic people is good cure to our souls but if you can't because of a trauma bonding,
pray more and stay strong , you aren't alone in this, many people were born with some negative people around
them. It shapes the way people are raised, probably this why watching Courtney's videos and content like hers
help us gain insight and confidence to build upon.
Some people are narcissists, they are naysayers to whatever you do. They try to mock you or bully you when
they see you working on yourself and trying to improve. Really, trauma bonding is a fact don't lessen its importance
it shapes our lives. What good people have done bad??... in order that God doomed them to narcissists, is it their
bad luck ? or their beautiful souls?
Believe it or not, there are some beautiful souls breathing under this "shining sun" that are feeling bitter not because of a bad relationship but because of their lives. GOD BLESS THESE BEAUTIFUL SOULS! HELP THEM! SAVE THEM FROM BAD PEOPLE.
So you weren't doing the very basic things to take care of yourself and needed a UA-camr to emulate an absurd "girlfriend effect" to trim your nails? 🤦♂
@@Swearengen1980 I do these things routinely using the hygiene effect ... never thought of such an absurd comment
"Narcissists are naysayers to whatever you do." That is very beautiful put. 100% Agree, story of my life.
I love Courtney so much ! She is one of the best self improvement UA-camrs out there . She has a genuine approach and genuinely cares about men’s health and men’s approach to dating .
I gave up alcohol early this year, best decision ive ever made. I was telling people in my circle last year i felt like quitting alcohol and they were shocked to hear me say it. Trust me once you quit alcohol so many benefits start happening. I gained so much respect from people once i told them i quit. I actually didn't expect that part tbh cause i just wanted to close that chapter of my life.
proud of you!!!
@@CourtneyRyan Thank you Courtney! I truly appreciate it! I love your content. Always luved your channel. Keep it up! God bless! 🙏🏽
My worst thing for me is self-confidence, liking myself and loneliness. The hardest thing for me is changing my Mindset cause I know I have to change the first 2 things to even have a chance at affecting the 3rd. About 2 months ago I set a goal to exercise more routinely to possibly help with my confidence. I've maintained that and my confidence has gotten a little better by sticking to the exercise plan and knowing/seen that I've gotten physically stronger. Which lead to learning/working on and finishing some projects around the house. Doing those things has helped a little too but nowhere near enough as I hoped. I still have a few more projects to do and a few more weeks for my exercise goal. I don't feel that is going to be enough to get my confidence up to actually liking myself a little. Hopefully achieving my exercise goal and the finishing remaining projects will have a bigger impact than I think.
Its going to take more than two months, maybe even years to feel confident because of your healthy habits
Suffered from depression for over 24 years, I changed my diet and my whole world changed
I agree with your comment about exercise, Courtney. Personally after getting in shape during the pandemic ... and having bipolar (diagnosis is from a clinician) ... I know firsthand that exercise is a phenomenal way to safely get out of an episode a bit sooner. Both my psychiatrist and therapist agree. This is Andrew Keener.
Here's how I would rank things:
-Exercise and nutrition, and sleep I'd put in that very top tier.
-Not drinking, journaling, and setting goals the next tier down.
-Reading, waking up early and sleep, image, planning, and the company you keep the tier below that.
-Planning, screen time, and goals in the tier below that.
-Meditation and affirmations the very last tier.
When it comes to reading, I think what's most important is to keep learning more information. The medium in which you learn is not necessarily what's most important. Educational UA-cam videos can also do the same (although they might not deep-dive into a particular subject as much as a whole book would). Never stop learning & improving.
I’m learning languages! Italian and French during the week days, Spanish and German on the weekends and holidays! It’s allowed me to connect with a girl I recently met at church who loves languages, she likes French and Russian.
not the most useful of tierlists
Most valuable is the time you spent trying to help all of us. Thanks Courtney.
Putting things on your list that you've done so you can check them off does not show that there is something wrong with you. It shows that you are finding the way within the obstacle. Your mind seeks affirmation for good behavior doing what you're doing is a solution to this that doesn't involve reaching for another distraction and it keeps your focus where it should be ... on the list. Good Job.
Thanks for the content.
It's a good sign when u notice u seem to have more thoughts and ur anxious when u meditate, but u keep going, that's the point, to just be with ur mind n feelings no matter what, & then u take that keener awareness of whats happening inside non-judgmentally with u in everyday life (its a long journey but that's why they call it practice). Ideally, silent but with sound at first is fine. Walking meditation n mindfulness is a good way to start off too, plus, theres many types of meditation...
Everything you have said, it’s life changing, trust this process it definitely works.
Very good list overall. Two of my best friends are smokers but I never have or will. Are the gf and wife effects similar? One thing I've never understood is the more positive reception I get from women when my ring is on. Even wearing cargo shorts! Clarence Thomas said something like "never let the sun catch you in bed." My guess is that most people don't even know how to eat properly. We're too rushed and convenience is valued over nutritional content.
I found that giving up alcohol for a few months helped with my self confidence in social situations. No longer feel the need to drink to socialize.
Life is Incredible, i see why Courtney Ryan be explaining so much about relationship and self-improvements in the videos she uploaded.
This ought to be interesting. Fortunately I'm like 17 years ahead of the herd because I've been pursuing self-improvement since I was a teenager growing up without a father yet pursuing many many mentors. I'm definitely going to be adding to this list
Woohoo! Hi Joseph
My wife and I went on a cruise a few years ago, and it was really amazing how much different people acted on formal night. People were dressed better and they acted better as well.
Because of status projection
Thank you for doing this, Courtney.
In regards to No1, my Father always said that, "A man is judged by the company he keeps", I've found throughout the years that this is definitely the case.
Meditation, and reading certain books, have really changed my life. Goes to show you how different people are in what impacts them.
So a third of the way in and two observations:
1. Women demand you do everything at the highest level.
2. While more and more woman disregard all of the items in the S at this point.
This is why when my nephews ask about dating I tell them they have better things to do than chase women.
Courtney, thanks for such an informative video. I was in a dark place this morning and your video put me in a better mood. One thing I need to start doing is eating better, and getting better sleep. Reading and exercise has helped me but I do lack in the areas that I mentioned.
This is one of your better videos and a nice change of pace from the reaction videos, and yes, affirmations can be a double-edged sword. If you're fighting some things internally, it can be a game changer and a thread to hang onto when things get rough.
Affirmations can help you put your focus on the fact you are the only person who can change you. Looking for a woman or a friend or booze or substances isn’t going to get the job done. You always have to do the work on yourself.
the technique i learned that makes meditation "work" is when you have thoughts, treat them like clouds. say, "oh hey, there's a cloud, cool" and let it drift by, another thought? cool! identify it, recognize it let it drift by. and start with just 10 minutes or so. go into it with the knowledge that you will have thoughts! and your job is to identify them, and watch them drift away. one after another. once you get good at that, there will be fewer clouds and more blue sky.
Great video. All of these items are worth trying at least. My tiers would be:
S: Nutrition and Sleep - Very bad habits in either can kill you over time and great habits do make my whole life better
Must Try: Excercise, Your Circle and Mind Shift - positivity that can be productive and improve your life
Good: No alcolhol, Reading, Image, Setting Goals, Planning, Limiting Screen Time - all positive and worth doing
Worth Trying: Everything else :)
Most guys love tiers so good choice though maybe we can help you add a little more variety to your tier choices, lol.
Great information. An additional thought for nutrition is this quote, "You are what you digest." I believe it's from Dr. Steven Gundry(could be wrong on this since I read a couple books on nutrition). Also, I know he can be controversial for some, even myself, but the statement really emphasizes the important aspect of what your body absorbs. Courtney, I've really enjoyed your videos with the practical and calm approach that you take.
I gotta say, it’s a slow process, but things are starting to get better. Both your videos, and this How to be like Christian Grey video I saw is really helping.
Courtney, even if your videos are very long, it doesn’t even annoy me cause I love listening to your content! 👍🏻
Thank you for the exceptional self improvement tier list, I always enjoy your content and appreciate the effort and thought you put into your videos. thank you again. ☺
A few I'll comment on. As you can guess by the screen name, I am a runner. Been running since 1991. I knew the importance of exercising from there.
In 2018 I had to stop for a while was going thru some crap I wouldn't wish on anyone. My weight ballooned to 300 pounds and I was eating like crap. I got a wake up call in 2019 when I had a DVT blood clot in my right leg, and a saddle pulmonary embolism in my lungs. The ER doctors told me that I was not far from a disaster.
After recovering and discussing with my cardiologist, I asked her if I could try to start running again and adding some work out exercises like sit ups push ups, leg lifts, squats, etc.. She gave me a cautious okay, and I did. I also started eating much better. More fruits and veggies, less processed and snack food garbage, and drastically reducing my refined sugar intake.
Through hard work and dedication I have dropped from 300 pounds to 180. Waist has gone from 46 to 32. Cholesterol numbers are greatly improved. Other blood test numbers are very good for someone my age. Even better, since the blood clot, I've run the Boston Marathon twice (marathons #19 and 20 in my career).
In 2005 i quit drinking alcohol. Not because I had a problem with it, but because I would notice when running on the day after drinking alcohol I felt like garbage out there. I figured it wasn't helping me, so why put it in my body. Haven't had a drop since, and I don't miss it.
So for nutrition, exercise and alcohol I would 100% agree. These can be life changing!
On the sleep one, I struggle with this. I have never slept well, and am lucky if I get 4-5 hours of sleep, and most is light sleep, not the deep recovery sleep or REM sleep. My body just doesn't like to shut down.
Image? I truly suck at that one.
My circle? Keep it small. Trust no one.
Setting Goals? I stopped doing that. I ALWAYS set them way too high, and unachievable, then felt miserable when I couldn't achieve them. My goal is to get through each day.
The rest? I can take or leave.
A couple others I would add to your list Courtney. 1.) Budgeting. Learn how to set a budget and live within or below your means. If you can reduce the stress in your life about money, it will improve your life a lot. 2.) If you have the means, saving and investing. If you have the means putting something away for retirement and/or a rainy day can be quite meaningful, reduce stress as you approach retirement, and make you a lot happier.
My rankings (not that it matters) 🤣:
Your Circle(s): A (You're judged by the company you keep)
Exercise: S (it's also what keeps you from seeing me at work -- I'm an ER and CC physician)
Nutrition: S+ -- This is actually more important than exercise. I can go for weeks about this.
Image: A -- Grooming is important. Hygiene is important. But from experience? I've found that the blue collar look helped me with air of gravitas. Priming gave mixed results. (Tiege Hanley is awesome, BTW)
Sleep (for me) D 🤣 -- I've worked just fine for decades on 4 hours of sleep, w/ two 15 minute power naps. Your mileage may vary.
Reading: S+ -- If you're "well read"? You'll stand out to me. Looks are okay. Your CV doesn't interest me. What you read, and what you convey from it, gets me interested in your thoughts.
Mindset Shift: A -- (it depends). Empathy is great. Looking at various vantage points is key to me. Me? I like looking at things Socratically.
Goal setting: S++ - Complacency is the devil's playground. And no goals would make for letting the world pass you by.
Affirmations: D - I don't succeed from affirmation. I'm usually brutally honest with my days, so I can improve on things where I'm lacking. The opposite is how I've gotten this far.
No alcohol/substances - A -- I don't typically drink. Maybe twice a year, and it's customary (drink to fallen, and one is ceremonial - lunar New Year)
Planning/Organization - A - I'm pretty rote, in method. The Galaxy Fold 5 that I use keeps a few notes and organizer, but it's only for engagements. Still, better tidy on times, right?
Early riser - S++ : I am generally up at 5:30, and finishing exercise at 6:30. The time to get things done is greater for me.
Meditation: A -- Meditation can be done many ways. As simple as deep breaths works. (I meditate after work). I argue that every Cleveland sports fan can benefit from meditation. 🤣
Limiting screen time: B - It's nearly impossible for me, career wise. If I could go to the 90s, when we still used paper for everything? I would. Increase this to a S+, if we mean "touching grass" (which I believe wholeheartedly in - and will drive an hour to do).
Journalling: S+++ - This helped me greatly for decades, and when I am gone, there will be decades for anyone to read. I have literally two "bookcases" of my life, from age 4 to present, journalled, in my study. Maybe someone from my family in the future would want to read it? I don't know. 🤷
Good video, as always.
Love the way you mentioned Girlfriend effect. Not many men would have paid attention to those lines. Thanks again.
Wow, this is such great and informative content Courtney! I've been shadow watching for years but now I have to subscribe
Thanks for this Courtney, I just print screen the table so I can have something to begin with lol, I need to change a lot of thing.
I like audiobooks while I’m doing cardio or something around the house.
I think this may be the first time I have to say it is fine for someone putting more items in S tier than anything else. There shouldve been lesser habits like cleaning, networking etc
I’ll have to do a part 2 😂
:D@@CourtneyRyan
Replace TikTok and Reels with long-form UA-cam videos and I bet that will automatically help (for both learning & mental health). I spend a lot of time online but yeah you gotta go outside sometimes lmao. My screen time on my phone is only about 2 hours per day but on my computer it is 6 lol
I would put 'Journaling' in the 'Skip it' category, because we already get upset on too many things that are out of our control, writing it down is only going to remind us of how powerless we are. Correct me if you think I'm wrong.
Hey court, I like your fashion and fragrance lists of the ones that you enjoy, please do more men's style content.
We like to know what chic women want in a man's appearance
I ❤ you’re changing things from your set like sitting at a table and having a laptop. Instead of you sitting there. Change is good.
Aww glad to hear it! More changes to come but for now the desk definitely makes my life easier so glad you like it 😂 hope you’re doing well, Court!
I am doing well. My employer keeps giving more responsibilities. I have 6 people reporting to me now. And now I have to host meetings. This is all new to me. My dad has leadership skills and is giving me advice. Now that I host the meetings, I can schedule the meetings for my times.
I feel same about meditation. I just take a nap instead. Also, your genuine care for others is very noticable, you and your work are great 👍
I would recommend learning to play a music instrument.
It requires lots of discipline for rehearsing and trains the social skills to interact with other musicians. Also you're getting into very elite social circles at orchestras, etc. This is especially useful when aiming for high value partners.
For mediation, many consider working out us a form of meditation, you can work out your frustrations, self relaxation and so on.
Very informative.Your the best.Best advice. I FEEL BETTER.
I can more or less agree with most of the items and how you arrange them. I would just move reading into S-tier. Reading an interesting book will enrich your life tremendously. And I would also move "No alcohol" into B-tier and rename it into "No alcohol from time to time". I don't mind if someone is a non-drinker (good for you!) but honestly in my life and in my social circle I would feel like a loser if I went to a bar or a restaurant with couple of my friends, they would all order a beer and I would order an apple juice... I regularly skip drinking alcohol sometimes but there are occasions when having a beer with your friends has also a higher meaning than just indulging... I'm from Czech republic btw so maybe I'm heavily biased.
If you're not an alcoholic, I agree with you. However, there is no reason to feel like a loser just because you're not drinking in a social situation when others are. If they judge you for it, they're not your friends, so fuck 'em. But I disagree that having a beer with friends has any higher meaning. There MIGHT be certain situations in life where that's true (various cultural situations, special events, or the mob boss offers you a drink and you best not say no)....but just chillin' with buddies watching a game? That's all in your head and stupid cultural stereotypes. America is the same way. Find a single tv show or movie that doesn't involve booze in every. single. situations. You can't because it doesn't exist. People have been brainwashed to think it's necessary or normal and it's not.
Grass Touched, feeling good.
Keep yourself in shape, well groomed, and eat healthy
This is great, and I've been implementing all these protocols into my life, and I'm also aware to NOT become a self-help junkie, and be okay to break the rules every once in a while, as life is meant to be enjoyed, not enforced :)
Darln some of us have been through a lot in life that's why a lot of us are giving up.
Good morning Courtney. Thanks for the video. I will start improving right away.
I agree with do what works for you. I think an underlying item is get to know yourself. Not what others say you should be. My problem with reading and meditation is my mind wonders too much. I think the point behind reading is put quality new information into your brain. This can be audio books, especially if you are an audio learner like a good documentary. I am not sure reading a mindless book is much different than a watching mindless video or tv show. I've also found that I journaling didn't do much for me. I have found that writing 'poetry', just for myself, helped more because it is focused on my emotional expression in reaction to events where my journaling tends to read more like a status report. I also want to put in performing music, particularly singing or a wind instrument. Done properly this encourages diaphragmic breathing like breathwork does and it stimulates the vagus nerve which does good things for your body.
Way to hop on the tier list bandwagon Courtney! Love it!
YES THIS IS THE CONTENT I SUBSCRIBED FOR.
By the way could you do a video tier list on first date/ meetup places?
I really like this Courtney. Something a little different.
It’s fun to switch it up sometimes! Glad you enjoyed it 😊
Dammit Courtney! I love your insights here, but I have a smart friend who will frequently say: "If everything is a priority, then nothing is a priority." I think she's right, and I think your S-tier is too busy. ;) So I'll take my own truncated stab at this whole thing:
S:
*Exercise:* All hail the king. It's the most important thing anyone can do, and it improves every aspect of your life. If you don't have an exercise routine, skip everything else Courtney or I said, and get on that first.
*Circle:* I agree here! This is criminally underrated, and where many people go wrong. Your social circle is immeasurably powerful, you really are the average of your 5 closest people. Notice who props you up, and who drags you down. Try to spend more time with the former, and less with the latter.
*Sleep:* Similar to exercise, this underpins everything. You need good sleep to optimize your performance everywhere else.
A:
*Meditation:* I've done it for years, and I take Courtney's point. It's a REALLY difficult skill to acquire some level of competency at. But once you do, it becomes and extremely powerful tool for mental and emotional regulation. It'd be S if it were more accessible, but I understand it's hard for others to pick up.
*Image (Looks):* This is extremely important. People who think "looks don't matter" are the shallow ones in my book. Looks reflect *so much* about a person. Their habits, their self care and self respect, their health, and mental health. Your body is your Earthly vessel. How well you take care of it says a *lot* about you.
*Planning / Organizing:* The more important big brother to "goals" - it's important to have a system to organizing one's life. Use a calendar, set routines and rituals. Systematize and idiot-proof the good habits and watch your results soar.
*Reading:* Mileage will vary here. Not all books are equal. Always a decent activity, but some books are human's greatest wisdom (like Guns, Germs and Steel) and others are fun entertainment. Always good, but maybe not life-changing.
B:
*Limit Screen Time:* Definitely important for many people. Screens can have good utility, and most of us use them for many reasons both productive and idly, but this is something I'd recommend people get a better handle on broadly - even if it's lower in my book to everything above this (much of which WILL take you away from a screen).
*Nutrition:* Wondering why it's this far down? I think nutrition is something that's easy to get stuck in the weeds on, personally. It's very important to be mindful of what you eat, don't get me wrong, but I think most people broadly know what foods are healthy and which aren't. Get a yearly physical, and work with you physician to track which areas need improvement.
*No Alcohol:* This is a good one, but probably not very accessible. I at least suggest to strongly limit alcohol consumption. I drink a mere few times a year (mostly holidays) and that seems fine. Alcohol are hollow calories among other bad things.
C:
*Goal Setting:* Why so low? Well I don't think this is an issue most people have. Who doesn't want to lose weight? Or buy a house? Or get a good spouse and maybe start a family? Good career, etc? People have goals, in my experience, they lack habits. You know how much weight you need to lose, you just need to get to the gym and start eating better.
*Waking Up Early:* Wouldn't know, never tried it. ;) I sleep as late as I need to. I'm nocturnal by my nature, and it's fine for me. Might be fine for others, maybe most, but I think what's more important is the S-tier "get enough sleep". Fine a schedule that works for *you* and don't let the world tell you what that should be.
*Mindset Shift:* This seems too nebulous and unactionable to be something I put any higher. I've had points in my life where a mindset shift has helped, but it feels like putting the cart before the horse. If someone needs help, I don't know if telling them to "change mindset" is going to help them. It's like if someone said "what should I do to get rich?" and you replied "Make smart financial decisions." It's not technically wrong, but it's basically not specific advice. That's what they're here for!
*Journaling:* Meh, tried it. It's ok, but I don't find a ton of value here personally.
D:
*Affirmations:* I don't know enough about this, but it seems skippable. There are meditation techniques (like Metta) that probably capture everything good about this, without being weirdly delusional.
Such a good comment! Thanks for sharing your perspective 🤍
My pleasure - thank you for reading!@@CourtneyRyan
As a dude who wakes up at 5am every day, I can say that the "reason" you would wake up early is the thing you would benefit from. Some people wake up early and go into hyper-productive mode so they have more leeway during the day and that is a healthy reason but just waking up early to do nothing probably won't change your life much.
Hi Courtney: Fiction books can be very life-changing-books like the Narnia series, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Tolstoy’s War and Peace, Orwell’s 1984, All the King’s Men, Rabbit Run, In Cold Blood, A Canticle for Leibowitz, etc-can be transformative for our personal character and provide catharsis for our deepest soul. Would you like me to make a list of fictional stories that you could recommend to your viewers?
Could you make that list for me to read? I'd highly appreciate it. 💯
meditation and affirmations, also gratitude, is at least A tier imo
I showed a girl that I was dating one of your past videos criticizing how a women was talking bad about ALL MEN. The girl I was dating said you are a misogynist, and that this kind of content is trash, and by showing her the video she thinks that I am trying to say that she is like the women you were criticizing, no matter how much I tried telling her no, I dont think shes like that women.. Long story short she told me that I am not good enough for her because I have insecurities, I live with my parents still thus not COMPLETELY financially independent, and since I live with my brother, step father, and mother (moms blind).. my step father and brother are lazy and dont clean up the house much, and I get taken advantaged if I did all the cleaning, my room is decently clean, but it was a dealbreaker for her that I didnt wash my bed sheets in 2 weeks. I accepted her for all her flaws and tried my best to love her.. but she still abandoned me and it hurts like hell putting so much effort into someone, for them to tell me I'm not enough and just by watching this content is a red flag. When I tried to reason with her and said I would definetely help her keep the house clean if I ever was in a relationship with her.. she said, well you love your mom right and you dont do it for her.. if I went blind, you wouldnt do it for me either.. which is not true at all.. I just dont like being taken advantage of in my current household and criticized when I do the cleaning, and there is 2 other capable adults here too, and they dont help at all. To which her solution then was "just move the f out then" without understanding that I dont want to be living paycheck to paycheck and alone and isolated in an apartment by myself.. and even if I did move out for her, she could still leave me in a few months anyways and find something else she doesnt like about me.. She blocked me without me even getting the chance to show her I would clean up more, especially my room and bed sheets.
Courtney, I watched this video and im saving it for later to also come back to it because this is great info
I would just like to state. It's important that both parties are putting forth that same level of effort.
However, that sticking point is where the overwhelming majority of people (men or women) fall flat.
As much as I agree with this list, I do not do this. I need to go to the gym more, sleep more, and groom better. I think a good excuse for lack of sleep and gym time is staying a fulltime student and working fulltime. Sacrafices can be made I guess, but the truth should be that we do these things that improve us without sacrificing the other points. But sometimes you can only do so much, so the best is to just improve and be the best I can be in that moment. Thanks for the reminder
In the case of reading, Some of the best books for men that are life changing are things like Stoic philosophy, The book called Power, And anything that teaches how to save, invest and become the best male you can be.
It's so cute that you're with a nice guy that looks very similar to your father 🙂❤