At this point in my life I’ve watched more piss-take reviews of Steven Seagal movies than actual Steven Seagal movies themselves. And I’m proud of that.
Steve must hold the record for the most movies with top billing while working the least amount of shoot days for each movie also the most sitting on screen in the last decade
I enjoyed the kick out of this movie cus I'm Polish, seeing some recognizable actors (like Pieczyński playing Ibo). Seagal stumbling around Warsaw and the Jesus and Mary packed brothel at 10:05. Literally what the hell is this scenography lmfao
For anyone looking for a good Korean martial arts film, I recommend The Man From Nowhere (2010). A little of a generic story, but it’s shot very well and has good fight sequences. It’s on Hulu and Amazon Prime. And a 2fer? And one has some people trying to do a voice over of Seagal...horribly...oh boy, what a day!!
@@RedEyeReviews Thanks for that complement. I’m really not that knowledgeable, I’ve just have seen a movie or 2. Though, I could spend hours talking about post-WWII Japanese cinema with its directors like Kurosawa, Yasujirō Ozu, and the director of one of my top 3, all time favorite movies, Masai Kobayashi. Kobayashi directed Harakiri (1962) and as a drunk philosopher, it’s a very deep and meaningful movie revolving around the Samurai culture, romanticism, reality, and human suffering. And that’s just me and others may disagree. But I also love camp and schlock and can’t tell you how much I’m loving the Seagal reviews! I was a teenager when he started making it big and me and my friends use to have discussions about who would win in a fight; Seagal or Van Damme? And then the conversation would digress into “well, what about Bruce Lee?” Ah. The good ole days!
For campy martial arts with good choreography and stunt work there's Tony Jaas the Protector. The climax is beating pro wrestlers from hurting elephants using tusks. I'm not making this up.
Love the forest walk. Can’t be many movies with both a voice AND body double for the main star in the exact same shot. Don’t mind Out of Reach even with horrid voiceovers. Nice swordfight. Cool brothel shootout. Cute birdies rescued from traps. Pretty sure I spotted Seagal’s future wife walking behind him in the ballroom. Clementine ...ugh. Fast forward came in handy. Kudos for quoting me 🤩🤩🤩
Yes Clementine is worthy of the skip chapter button on the remote. But Out of Reach wasn't terrible. I just couldn't get over the fact that he was pin paling a 13 year old girl. All they had to do to fix this issue is mention "He plans to adopt her"..but they just leave that implied.
You know what? I agree! Saw Out of Reach randomly on the TV with a buddy who'd never seen a Seagal movie before. I was prepared for the worst, but like you said, the brothel shootout was pretty good and, remind me if I'm wrong, but is there no dreadful Seagal sex scene? It was on German TV, so I didn't know about these different voice doubles. That's hilarious! This channel is great, and you, Michael, are contributing a lot. Have you, too, seen all these awful Seagal movies? Cheers from Germany!🍻
It says "64 inches" which would be 5' 4", so a foot shorter than Seagal actually is. If he was that height, with his build, he'd probably be about 225.
The funny thing is that the movie shot in Poland was never even once played on Polish TV. Seriously! At least I don't recall it being on, like ever. One of my friends saw Seagal in Warsaw hanging out in a mall flanked by his bodyguards who were even bigger and fatter than him. One of his stunt doubles was a Polish kickboxer who said in one of the interviews that he had to be there for Seagal even for the simplest "stunts" (like front kick eg) and that he had lost all the respect he'd had for Seagal after making this film.
Most of the scenes were shot in Warsaw. Huge door is the entrance to lab of high voltages at Electro-energetic Institute in Mory in western Warsaw. Empty space is not a warehouse but interior of new Daewoo tower, which changed ownership several times until now. Final fight takes place in magnificent hall inside main building of Warsaw Technical University.
Yo you know that Segal couldn't bear to be seen losing that final fight in Clementine and made them put in that vague editing. Not to mention have him "redeemed" with the talk of the fights being rigged without him knowing haha.
EXACTLY. Without a doubt he told the writers "I don't lose fights, So that wouldn't happen." It's like Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights. "If you win, then how am I gonna win?"
These reviews are so damn funny. I love the phase issue in one of the voice overs for Seagal. 😂😂 Clearly tried to use a stereo pair and they are phasing with each other… Sounds horrible. 🙈
Kudos for Clemetine for having Lee Dong Joon who is an excelent taekwondo fighter (like me except I'm not excelent just average I guess haha). About Out of Reach, whe it sort of came out here in Venezuela I bought a bootleg VCD (Yes, Video CD MPEG file) and the quality was so awful, also you could see part of the mic hanging in some shots!
If he's in Alaska, why is he getting mail sent to Toronto? Plus 52 Bay St. is pretty much the arena where the Toronto Raptors and Maple Leafs play. Hilarious review! Currently going through the whole Seagal playlist!
It's about clementine oranges! Oh how cute!...and fuckin delicious. I guess it's safe too say, steven "seagulls" best movies, where in 1988, 1990...nuff said.
I'm not a doctor but I think by culturizing the wound, especially on the shoulder, would cause a life long problem that includes the loss of full range motion.
I read some reviews and none of them describe how disturbing the entire Out of Reach movie plot is. Out of everyone at the orphanage, he decides to choose this one person to teach them how to write to him in coded message. On top of that, he's hiding in the woods from the authorities and use a fake name alias to get letters from a PO box. I mean how is that not extremely questionable? At the end of the movie, he brings the cop lady, and the two orphanage kids back to his cabin in the middle of the wood.
5ft 4" and 225lbs,is that what I heard? That height and weight means...A Fucking Uber dwarve who's wearing lift's and SUMO skull implants, an overweight bank teller,starbuck barista or a body positivity "model"!? Either way they're all hilarious like our Sensei here!
It took me like 1 quick search to find this movie on the net, lol. Anyway, these are shit I've not seen finaly. But heared about Out of Reach. Looked like some Bruce Willis film knockoff, I think.
weeeellll hhhoooollllyyy sh*******t this whole time I thought I was living in Toronto ON-tario and this whole time it was NO-tario , well kick me in the nuts, I had know idea the Toronto was in Alaska
I'm waiting for Steven to produce and star in a movie call "Out Of Touch" IMBD synopsis - An out of touch actor makes another crappy film thinking people actually want to see him in films and the other 30 films are all awesome! Can you pick who the "Out Of Touch" actor might be?
If I had a doppelganger who looks like me and slim body I let him walk in the woods like bad ass seagal let's hes lookalike with slim body walk in woods like hes texas Walker ranger lol
So you never mentioned that epic hair in the first half of the 2nd movie. The 2 whispy tails???… was that a good look back then? And as a Canadian, I find a few things wrong with this mailing address. A letter is supposed to be: Name Street Address Secondary Street Address City, Province Area Code Country So yeah, that’s messed up! And Toronto, Ontario’s postal code is M6J on Bay Street, so thanks for that failed research. And another thing, people in Toronto rarely speak French, that is a totally different Province than French speaking Quebec. Just a little vocal geography. But neither of these places are Alaska, which is on the West Coast, as Ontario and Quebec are on the East Coast.
I think I saw this film randomly on TV one night. If I remember right, the little girl doesn't come home with him. Instead she writes about him returning to his life in the mountains where he, "finds injured animals and nurses them back to health". I was blown away by just how dumb and juvenile this was. Bear in mind, Seagal wasn't famous for being absolute trash yet.
I am testing the Dracula theory. Before I start this review I will look at his hairline in the second one, and predict that it will be 'moderately shit'. Not terrible, because he hasn't gone full Lugosi yet, but we're well on the slippery slope towards it...
Lol of course they do a stylized samurai duel...with a distinctively European swords. Saber or cutlass vs a Messer. Seagal probably thinks the only sword martial arts that exist are Japanese.
Sometimes it's like you're just describing what's happening so it's not a comedy. A bit flat. Need the comedy otherwise it's just saying what you're seeing
11:25 "You know I build this cabin with my own... money" hahaha priceless!
Classic Segal. Right when we thought we figured him out he threw us that whacky curveball outta nowehere
@@methical__ I feel like he forgot the line and instead of doing a retake they just rolled with it like look this crap been going on for long enough.
Really enjoying binging this series. You're like cinemasins if they discovered how to write jokes that don't bomb. Hoping your channel blows up man.
Aww thank you so much!
hey! What it means this phrase: jokes that don't bomb?
@@MD-yd8lh "bombing a joke" means that the joke failed and it isn't funny. You can replace "bomb" with "fail".
@@punishedbarca761 oh, i see. Thx)
At this point in my life I’ve watched more piss-take reviews of Steven Seagal movies than actual Steven Seagal movies themselves.
And I’m proud of that.
You are not thé only one
Dude I think that's better for your health too.
Steve must hold the record for the most movies with top billing while working the least amount of shoot days for each movie also the most sitting on screen in the last decade
Bruce Willis is doing the same shit these days. At least he doesn't look like a giant balloon... yet.
11:05 Why the hell was he posed like that after killing the bad guy? It's like he threw his back out and was having trouble standing up. 🤣
He sat on a chair for so long that he forgot how to stand...
the closet door cut had me in stitches. You are a true artist, sir!
Lol. I couldn't resist. Thank you!
Agreed 🤣🤣
Damn near spit out my coffee during the Narnia reference with the wardrobe. 😆
There's a deleted post-credit scene in which Seagal teaches the children how to hug a bear.
I want to believe this so badly. It sounds just real enough
I enjoyed the kick out of this movie cus I'm Polish, seeing some recognizable actors (like Pieczyński playing Ibo). Seagal stumbling around Warsaw and the Jesus and Mary packed brothel at 10:05. Literally what the hell is this scenography lmfao
Binging your Seagal reviews has temporarily cured my depression. Haven’t laughed this much in awhile. Love your content!!!
For anyone looking for a good Korean martial arts film, I recommend The Man From Nowhere (2010). A little of a generic story, but it’s shot very well and has good fight sequences. It’s on Hulu and Amazon Prime.
And a 2fer? And one has some people trying to do a voice over of Seagal...horribly...oh boy, what a day!!
You are a wealth of knowledge on movies. And as always you have grown my list of need to watch movies.
@@RedEyeReviews Thanks for that complement. I’m really not that knowledgeable, I’ve just have seen a movie or 2. Though, I could spend hours talking about post-WWII Japanese cinema with its directors like Kurosawa, Yasujirō Ozu, and the director of one of my top 3, all time favorite movies, Masai Kobayashi. Kobayashi directed Harakiri (1962) and as a drunk philosopher, it’s a very deep and meaningful movie revolving around the Samurai culture, romanticism, reality, and human suffering. And that’s just me and others may disagree.
But I also love camp and schlock and can’t tell you how much I’m loving the Seagal reviews! I was a teenager when he started making it big and me and my friends use to have discussions about who would win in a fight; Seagal or Van Damme? And then the conversation would digress into “well, what about Bruce Lee?” Ah. The good ole days!
For campy martial arts with good choreography and stunt work there's Tony Jaas the Protector. The climax is beating pro wrestlers from hurting elephants using tusks. I'm not making this up.
Love the forest walk. Can’t be many movies with both a voice AND body double for the main star in the exact same shot. Don’t mind Out of Reach even with horrid voiceovers. Nice swordfight. Cool brothel shootout. Cute birdies rescued from traps. Pretty sure I spotted Seagal’s future wife walking behind him in the ballroom. Clementine ...ugh. Fast forward came in handy. Kudos for quoting me 🤩🤩🤩
Yes Clementine is worthy of the skip chapter button on the remote. But Out of Reach wasn't terrible. I just couldn't get over the fact that he was pin paling a 13 year old girl. All they had to do to fix this issue is mention "He plans to adopt her"..but they just leave that implied.
You know what? I agree! Saw Out of Reach randomly on the TV with a buddy who'd never seen a Seagal movie before. I was prepared for the worst, but like you said, the brothel shootout was pretty good and, remind me if I'm wrong, but is there no dreadful Seagal sex scene? It was on German TV, so I didn't know about these different voice doubles. That's hilarious! This channel is great, and you, Michael, are contributing a lot. Have you, too, seen all these awful Seagal movies?
Cheers from Germany!🍻
I'm dying. The edit "standing 6"4 225lbs"
(Jim Carey) yeah in your bra
Hahaha. I was very pleased with myself.
It says "64 inches" which would be 5' 4", so a foot shorter than Seagal actually is. If he was that height, with his build, he'd probably be about 225.
The funny thing is that the movie shot in Poland was never even once played on Polish TV. Seriously! At least I don't recall it being on, like ever. One of my friends saw Seagal in Warsaw hanging out in a mall flanked by his bodyguards who were even bigger and fatter than him. One of his stunt doubles was a Polish kickboxer who said in one of the interviews that he had to be there for Seagal even for the simplest "stunts" (like front kick eg) and that he had lost all the respect he'd had for Seagal after making this film.
Most of the scenes were shot in Warsaw. Huge door is the entrance to lab of high voltages at Electro-energetic Institute in Mory in western Warsaw. Empty space is not a warehouse but interior of new Daewoo tower, which changed ownership several times until now. Final fight takes place in magnificent hall inside main building of Warsaw Technical University.
*Out Of Reach* is decently solid.
Yeah it really has its moments
So are Seagal's kidney stones.
6:52 From what I can tell, the address on the letter's envelope was redone, as it correctly says ON for Ontario now. Make of that what you will.
6:52
Through the power of the postal system, the letter fixed itself!
Watched the movie now and watched your review bro im laughing so hard i can't breathe
Thank you! I am so glad you enjoyed it :)
"You know I built this cabin with my oooown...money."
Haha it's such a good line. Even Seagal couldn't lie
"1(800)NOSEAGAL" i'm dead HAHAHAHA!
lol thank you sir! I had fun making that little commercial
your cut away game is on point. keep up the great work.
Haha thank you sir! I appreciate the kind words :)
If you though the voiceovers in Out of Reach were bad, hold on tight for the horrors of Submerged...
Oh I can not wait! I am going to watch it this weekend
Seagal's voice always makes me laugh! I always makes fun of his voice!
His voice is so crazy. He just makes it up on the fly haha.
You know this phone I’m watching youtube on? Yeah I build it.. with my own money.
Damn. You are impressive
Oh Boy laughed my tits off...again. such a great channel....Point on, my humor, thx!!!! Greetings from Germany 🤣😁
So glad you enjoyed it!
Ya you should do that stunt double montage on every film! Hilarious
you covering the fast & furious, now i'm hype buddy
Oh I should! I love that series
12:17 No he's allergic to walking.
Yo you know that Segal couldn't bear to be seen losing that final fight in Clementine and made them put in that vague editing. Not to mention have him "redeemed" with the talk of the fights being rigged without him knowing haha.
EXACTLY. Without a doubt he told the writers "I don't lose fights, So that wouldn't happen." It's like Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights. "If you win, then how am I gonna win?"
10:05 Something about Seagal's delivery there was just genuinely funny
10:59 Okay yeah. That shot is genuinely cool!
These reviews are so damn funny. I love the phase issue in one of the voice overs for Seagal. 😂😂 Clearly tried to use a stereo pair and they are phasing with each other… Sounds horrible. 🙈
Lol I'm so glad you like it!
The voice over is insane. You can even hear the room the guys in while recording
I swear to god in the scene at 4:31 he punches the bag so hard sparks fly…or something. Something weird happens at any rate…
Alanis Morissette is adding the line "its like when Steven Seagal makes a anti-trafficking movie" to her top hit Ironic as we speak
I love that Narnia reference
Kudos for Clemetine for having Lee Dong Joon who is an excelent taekwondo fighter (like me except I'm not excelent just average I guess haha). About Out of Reach, whe it sort of came out here in Venezuela I bought a bootleg VCD (Yes, Video CD MPEG file) and the quality was so awful, also you could see part of the mic hanging in some shots!
Lee Dong Joon was awesome! He seems like a real badass. But just SO much crying lol.
I didn't know VCD was a thing haha. That is crazy
Holy crap they couldn't even make another envelope to say Toronto ON(t) instead of NO. 🤣😂🤣
If he's in Alaska, why is he getting mail sent to Toronto? Plus 52 Bay St. is pretty much the arena where the Toronto Raptors and Maple Leafs play. Hilarious review! Currently going through the whole Seagal playlist!
Lol I thought the same. The just went "City in Canada". Oh great Toronto.
So glad you are enjoying the channel
Shout out to the Canada Post sign at 7:01 so either some was shot in Canada or a set decorator worked really hard to pretend it was Canada.
It's about clementine oranges! Oh how cute!...and fuckin delicious. I guess it's safe too say, steven "seagulls" best movies, where in 1988, 1990...nuff said.
"Out of Reach." The title came to Seagal as he contemplated how to grab the script from the table without leaving his chair.
I'm not a doctor but I think by culturizing the wound, especially on the shoulder, would cause a life long problem that includes the loss of full range motion.
I have never seen a Steven Seagal movie before , now I feel like I am a fan of something lol
Could you make film about Paweł Szczęsny like this?
Let me look into who this is :)
Seagal speaks every language.
And has nothing smart to say in any of them!
At this point Seagal could get Chris Chan to be his body double and it would look totally convincing.
I built this cabin with my own. . . money. *eyes go down in shame.
That punching bag had kids😭
To be honest, the plot of that Korean movie sounds quite interesting! Kinda crazy, but interesting.
Did anyone notice thst Faisal was Vince (Matt Schulze) from Fast & Furious. I guess Matt, went to fast and furious on his acting career.
5:39
I read some reviews and none of them describe how disturbing the entire Out of Reach movie plot is. Out of everyone at the orphanage, he decides to choose this one person to teach them how to write to him in coded message. On top of that, he's hiding in the woods from the authorities and use a fake name alias to get letters from a PO box. I mean how is that not extremely questionable? At the end of the movie, he brings the cop lady, and the two orphanage kids back to his cabin in the middle of the wood.
@@Dan-di9jd you make a very good point lol
Clementine should have been about the fruit of a mandarin/orange hybrid. I’d watch that. Perhaps it could have Seagal eating one!
Lol that sounds better then the real one
5ft 4" and 225lbs,is that what I heard? That height and weight means...A Fucking Uber dwarve who's wearing lift's and SUMO skull implants, an overweight bank teller,starbuck barista or a body positivity "model"!? Either way they're all hilarious like our Sensei here!
Is it just me or is the lead bad guy in the movie is Vince from the Fast and Furious ok 👍 thank for the confirmation Redeye
Haha. I felt the same way the entire movie, and had to google it. Yeah he is a great actor
The letter that Seagal receives is addressed to ON.
That hardcore home surgery with a kitchen knife!
It took me like 1 quick search to find this movie on the net, lol.
Anyway, these are shit I've not seen finaly. But heared about Out of Reach. Looked like some Bruce Willis film knockoff, I think.
7:24 that's pigpen cipher and it says Napoleon.
lol i have seen this movie on TV when i was a kidd
weeeellll hhhoooollllyyy sh*******t this whole time I thought I was living in Toronto ON-tario and this whole time it was NO-tario , well kick me in the nuts, I had know idea the Toronto was in Alaska
You could say Seagal is definitely Out Of Reach.
Lol truth
2:40 "64 inches" is a shade under 6'4
great movie
You know I built this cabin with my own $.
wait so in the first movie, did his body double get a body double?
In defense of Seagull, those were a lot of stairs, so that's why he decide to send his double.
I'm waiting for Steven to produce and star in a movie call "Out Of Touch" IMBD synopsis - An out of touch actor makes another crappy film thinking people actually want to see him in films and the other 30 films are all awesome! Can you pick who the "Out Of Touch" actor might be?
Segal still doing movies in 2021-2022?
Isn't "SOS" ... - - ... ?
Horrific detail? I won't lie, I actually love the Fast & Furious franchise.
Trap a trapper by tricking a trafficker's tracker
Ya know I didn't build this cabin.
Engagement comment
If I had a doppelganger who looks like me and slim body I let him walk in the woods like bad ass seagal let's hes lookalike with slim body walk in woods like hes texas Walker ranger lol
Hahaha. Me too friend. My double would do everything for me
So there are 2 guys pretending to be Segal within seconds of each other? 🤣🤣
the zoom shot of the little cross eyed korean girl
give
me vertigo
Karate Korner! Seagal knew Bruce Lee for 58 or 60 years you know...
So you never mentioned that epic hair in the first half of the 2nd movie. The 2 whispy tails???… was that a good look back then?
And as a Canadian, I find a few things wrong with this mailing address. A letter is supposed to be:
Name
Street Address
Secondary Street Address
City, Province
Area Code
Country
So yeah, that’s messed up! And Toronto, Ontario’s postal code is M6J on Bay Street, so thanks for that failed research.
And another thing, people in Toronto rarely speak French, that is a totally different Province than French speaking Quebec. Just a little vocal geography. But neither of these places are Alaska, which is on the West Coast, as Ontario and Quebec are on the East Coast.
I see Vince adopted the Brian hairdo to play a trafficker.
I think I saw this film randomly on TV one night. If I remember right, the little girl doesn't come home with him. Instead she writes about him returning to his life in the mountains where he, "finds injured animals and nurses them back to health". I was blown away by just how dumb and juvenile this was. Bear in mind, Seagal wasn't famous for being absolute trash yet.
Generous? Yes. Kind? Not really, because more Sensei Seagull is not better, just more.
I am testing the Dracula theory. Before I start this review I will look at his hairline in the second one, and predict that it will be 'moderately shit'. Not terrible, because he hasn't gone full Lugosi yet, but we're well on the slippery slope towards it...
I really think there's some good evidence to support this theory. And I for one support your hypothesis lol
64 inches is five foot four.
Lol of course they do a stylized samurai duel...with a distinctively European swords. Saber or cutlass vs a Messer. Seagal probably thinks the only sword martial arts that exist are Japanese.
He forced vodka down her throat because she is polish. Stereotype kind of thing. I'm polish so I know 😅
Sometimes it's like you're just describing what's happening so it's not a comedy. A bit flat. Need the comedy otherwise it's just saying what you're seeing
If you’re the voice dubbing guys, how hard could it be to just growl whisper your lines to stop it being noticeable??
Sea-Gull fans tel the same lie about all of his movies "It's actually watchable"
Xscape
Damn straight lol
Those are some disgusting split ends Seagal. Stop touching that bird.
Haha great attention to detail
I think he didn't take her to the hospital, because her periodontal enebrius would've been spliced, causing untemperable licentiousness. Duh.
Duh! Those words made sense to me....totally did
I think Segal has price per calorie used rider in his contract.
I need several showers after this one. Eeewwwwww!!!
Does he own any fucking clothing that is not Ankle length?
😅😅🤣🤣🤣
1800noseagal
🤣
I love making the infomercials lol
Holy shit, that doctor is awful. That has to happen so often
Manoel silva
I don't get it..
Do we think our boy Seagal breaks out in a sweat sitting down that's why he has a body double