Are you self-sabotaging your sex life?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 сер 2024
- toddwinnergame...
When you talk to girls, are you actually playing to win? For most guys, the honest answer is probably no. I mean sure, you'd "like" to succeed, but do you "want" it? And more importantly do you want it MORE than you want to feel comfortable, or MORE than you want to stroke your ego, or MORE than you want to avoid dealing with insecurities? Whatever you want most is what you'll likely achieve... so be very aware of how your motivation is dictating your results.
"True self esteem comes from accepting yourself and doing what you know is right."
-Todd Valentine
And legend has it so
his last name isnt dating?
what if your generation were raised racist...and you are the race they hate...but they think you are the race they love...what then. dating for me (because of the speed) is like watching a slow motion car accident.
@@000274400 I get what you are saying, I also used to overthink a lot of this stuff. When it boils down to it, as I grew older, I realized that in some situations I needed to put myself first. Peace and Blessings.
Totally underrated topic.
Thats what Julien talks about and only a few get. Apart from that Todd is the godfather of "Social Dynamics".
Agreed, Fam.
Cameron Miller circumcision is an underrated topic and how it destroys sexual function long term.
This is the channel I needed to find. I'm 35, great body, handsome, make 6 figures, intelligent, creative, thoughtful, have my own place in San Francisco, work hard, and on paper should be crushing it with ladies. I am so far from crushing it with ladies that it hurts. So many years of working on my "plumage" as it were because I just wanted them to come to me. I was afraid to go for them and for that reason I have very little to show for it after all these years. I'm going to keep coming back and watching these videos and going out for practice until I fix my social insecurities and can actually get the women I deserve.
I feel this deeply, you know there is way more potential for you but it's like WHY THE FUCK DO I STRUGGLE WITH THIS talking to women should just be in our dna no questions asked I don't get why we have to learn from Todd who is a great teacher btw
If you don't mind me asking, how's it going now?
"Proof that I wasn't broken". I cried at this part. I have been asking myself this question for so long now.
yo same, had to hold back tears
bro i almost shed tears myself
hugssssss brother
I feel like this 8 minutes and 49 seconds just changed my life.
I'm 32 and finally leaving my mom's house. I've been using the excuse "I live with my mom" for my non-existent sex life. My fear is that when I start living on my own, i'll just come up with another excuse. I seriously need to get over my fear of women and socializing. I'm going to start right now. I've had enough of feeling lonely. I'm entitled to experiencing and sharing intimate moments with women, just as much as any other man is.
I did a lot of PUA stuff in my 20's and had mediocre success. Hung out with a bunch of guys and we would go bar hopping. A lot of what Todd says is real to me. A girl would tell me I'm good looking and then I would go home happy, even if I never got laid. Now in my 30's I haven't gone out in awhile because I've lost touch with my friends (careers, marriage, etc.). Need to get back in the saddle, even if it means going out alone.
I'm not angry at the world or blame women. I only have myself to blame for my lack of a proper sex life, and only I can change things around. But Todd's advice really helps and is invaluable.
"Why be angry at the world?
As if the world cares!"
- Euripedes
Its a phase you will get past it
Your son will be extremely lucky to have you as a dad. I'm 22 and I just realize this problem because this video. Thanks a lot for share your wisdom
This is one of the only pick up channels I take seriously. The others are all click baity all show no go
I've unsubbed from pretty much all the rest of them. This is the best.
@@afineassgoosebump1727 Tom Torero for daygame and John Anthony Lifestyle for nightgame. I don`t watch a lot of channels but these ones are pretty good IMO.
LMAO, John Anthony is a fraud and con artist whose non-hooker lay count is under 10. Yes, he was busted for paying for hookers. He was also arrested for kidnapping a girl in Vegas. Watch his infields. He’s needy and mumbles, which shows a lack of confidence. Here’s the evidence he’s so bad with women that he hired prostitutes:
Codederick where’s the evidence ?
LordBabu I heard rsd is pretty good 👀
Anyone else wish Todd was their dad?
shut up chode
LetsGetGirls so you can call him daddy ??
he wants to be spank xD btw go to his channel he literally has no game
Sh*t, I'm almost old enough to be his daddy.
Dad, no. Uncle - hell yeah!
“Snatching defeat at the jaws of victory.”
That's a pretty well known phrase
I literally can't believe that you had the same issues as I had growing up. I seriously thought I was the only one. Not to mention until now, I did not even know how to put into words what I was struggling with like you just did. Thank you!
gabriel gonzales haha, we all feel that we are unique in the issues we face, when in reality almost everything we go through is shared with many others. This is the basis of a victim complex. It’s good you are starting to notice it since that means you are now able to overcome those setbacks :)
Gerardo Argueta bro i need help give some knowledge ive looked everywhere im in highschool bruh
@Gerardo Argueta "You won't even need to watch any pick up videos" lmao😂😂 bullshit
Darrion Mccombs so did you end up getting scammed?
I realize that I self sabotage because I feel good about little victories. Now I must take care of this problem. My problem is if I approach 1 girl and it goes well, I don't approach anymore because I am scared to ruin and risk losing that good feeling of victory if I approach more and get rejected by other girls. I need to find my true self worth where I can still feel that feeling of victory even if I go and approach and they all reject me.
big one
YUP! Wow.
Great insights!
You do not need victory.
That's just your ego.
The ego must die if you want to live.
You simply are.
Same! I thought I was the only one who felt that way
As a college student i was totally ok with who i am, i accepted myself fully and had great success since everything came so easy once you love and accept yourself and just have a good time out there. But as i got older i got massively depressed, had health issues, balded and so on. I am now in my early 30s and i dont have much to be proud of or to offer in terms of material things. I dont have a car, only a very small apartment, a shitty job and that compared with the lower self esteem of balding, being pale let to a huge inferiority complex where i always thought of being not good enough, of not being able to offer enough to be of any worth of to be able to get that girl that i like, since she could clearly do better i thought.
Long story short... i worked on it, accepted who i am, worked on my mindset, started to work out, to eat healthy and be thankful for the little things, went to a barber shop and made the best out of what facial hair i got left (nothing on top, but beard) and changed my mindset completely. I still get a bit unsecure when calling numbers i got but i am getting there.... is a long journey and self acceptance is the first step.
I just want to encourage you on your journey bro. I was in a similar situation but fought my way through, it gets better man keep going.
Christoph Egger i was in a similar situation a year ago, but things now are getting better. I Started going in the gym, eating healthy foods, focusing on my Nursing career and doing some music. It’s going to be tough, but once you get there, I promise you.. The world is yours. Let’s get better! One-step at a time.
Because your bald, you reflect a little extra sunshine in girl's life ;p
What's wrong with having a very small apratment? I'm 32 and finally leaving my mom's place. Just got a bachelor pad. Less than 600sqft. I'm excited I finally have a place I can call my own and bring girls back to.
wish i could like this more. dont just stop their man, life is what you make. dont settle for your shiity job, dont settle for your no car, tiny apartment. what is it you love. and follow that till the day you die. your either gonna thrive and become more then you ever thought possible or die trying. either way you died knowing you did what you loved
"[...] what I wanted more than anything was proof that I wasn't broken, proof that girls actually liked me."
Holy shit I had no idea that a person like yourself had gone through this kind of phase. It's scarily relatable. Also being afraid of relationships and sex. Thank you for being so open about these like these, Todd, it really helps.
That part at 5:00 about not doing anything after the number is so true..I get many numbers but don't call,text or anything with any of them anymore because I'm frustrated with what comes after and bored of doing the same and same and I'm also insecure about many stuff that he mentioned
Proof that I wasnt broken.... having a girl like you is therapeutic and feels good for you
My mother was very abusive to me as a young kid.....jaded me horribly.....next person who treated the same way was my grandma...... 2 women who shoulda been there emotionally were pretty much not......always wondered why I feel like that
thanks for clearing this up for me Todd.....I just needed a confirmation
The amount of sex/girlfriends I turned down bc of selfesteem issues. I remember in highschool girls texting me ,writing me poems on how much they loved me, and I a virgin turning them down lol.
You posted this the day after I start infield. Feeling really called out right now
This has just as much to do with sex as it does life overall.
This channel as a whole is so much more than dating advice 🙌
Great talk. Rejection and failure are fucking awful feelings, but it's better than beating yourself up for not taking chances. I recently got shut down hard by a chick who was half my age. It stung for about thirty minutes, then I was over it and working on my next pull (which went really well). Now it's just a slightly unpleasant memory.
Hey, Todd. This video made me realize that I was self-sabotaging exactly like you did in high school more times than I'd want to admit, and I personally think the reason is that I really don't know where to logistically escalate for a pull, being a high school student myself. I can't take them home because of family, I don't have a car where I can do it either, parties are few and far between, and I'm not exactly knowledgable about restroom/locker room/store room logistical escalation. The few times I have been able to logistically escalate for a pull was because we worked in the same after-class hours' organization together and thus it made it easier to find a secluded storeroom. Does anyone have advice or experience with this? Thanks in advance.
Towards the end literally best advice ive gotten before.
Todd u the fuckin man! Props to you homie
I greatly appreciate your candor. Self-sabotage is a big one, and the fact that you’re so raw and honest about your experience is helpful to a lot of guys. 🙏
In my personal experience, finally trying to 'work on' or 'dilute' perceived defects is what made finally be at peace and accept the fact that I have those. i.e, if I'm balding and I KNOW that it could be better, working on a better haircut and styles will give you peace of mind with that.
Same with height, trying to work with a wardrobe that will flow with the body better and make shorter limbs look longer will go a long way, the fact of taking action on it means a lot. It requires acceptance: "I know I'm short... so what can I do with it". Because it's better to be rejected knowing that AT LEAST you are doing something about it and not leaving it to luck, not confronting it and ultimately accept it.
This is fucking spot on where I'm having the most trouble. But because I self sabotage I can't grasp the belief that if I go up and talk to a girl, I'll receive positive feedback since I never have in the past.
1st time is awkward as hell but after that time , sex becomes addictive
Tod upgrading and leveling up fucking hell mate
I like the way the sunlight slowly fades as the video goes on, as if just before something important, passing through the terrors of the night, emerging tomorrow as another man. Thanks Todd!
It's nice to hear that you use it in a therepeautic way bro! Great talk bro.🙏
@Luis Biel I did bro, did you not understand what I said.
If you like the "inner game" content, there is MUCH more available in my free course "Winnergame" which is available here: toddwinnergame.com . It also has more infield (and UNCUT infield) than most paid courses you'll see. And again, it's FREE
I watched this vid like 3 times now.
Never heard so much truth in such little time. This is awesome man. I really respect how you handle your insecurities. Keep it up dude
Todd is evolution of motivation speakers. Very helpfull, honest, practical.
I went out solo last night, 3rd week in a row and I did great. Find your favorite place and you will see regulars. No need for wingman at all.
God this shit hurts!! Great content Todd.
Insightful, and useful to remember women have at least as many insecurities and getting to 'yes' means making her feel comfortable enough to accept. No matter how much she wants to have sex with you, her insecurities can still shut her down.
"True self-esteem comes from accepting yourself." Todd V
Todd really understands the dynamics better than anyone , hope to run into u one day in NYC
ye I think I was born in the wrong country )
I think this is the core base underlining social or approach anxiety. There is a fear of failure bt on the other end of the spectrum there is a fear of success
"If your problem is that your not very good in bed sexually inexperienced or you don't know what to do sexually well thats awkward at age 18. Its even more awkward at age 25, more awkward at age 30, very awkward at age 40, getting extremely awkward at age 60." Todd V
Especially when you are physically attractive and still have no idea what to do. I'm 35 and live in San Diego surrounded by beautiful women staring at me and have barely been able to get myself to say 2 words to any of them. Even after watching many of Todd V's video and others.
The #MeToo Movement has terrified me even more than normal that talking to, touching and especially having consensual sex with women could be construed as rape!
It also makes most interactions or in reality, mostly non-interactions extremely awkward because I'm broke and out of work so I have no money to spend on anything or even my own place to take them if a free date at the beach or something did go well.
Todd I feel like you was talking to me in this, growing up I was always social and funny and got attention from girls easily, but when it came time to execute I wouldn’t for these exact reasons you outline in this video, thank you alotta times the shit you need to hear ain’t pleasant but you gotta listen
This is exactly what I needed to hear at the exact moment I needed to hear it. I'm smitten with some girl and it is difficult to not just take the ego boost and self sabotage. It's something I'm struggling to give myself 100% to but want to go all out on. Then on a career level I'm pursuing so many opportunities I want to seize onto, but likewise I struggle with the smallest insecurities. Thanks for the upload.
Might be the best video you’ve ever posted 👏🏻
Wow just the right moment.i just had this girl and ignored her "she is giving iois" self sabotage is real.all hail todd thanks!!
Teach a college course, please.
He has a video course, just buy it...
Once I heard 5’7, I subbed.
Man this topic is fucking huge. Thank you for addressing it. Fucking HUGE.
Damn Todd, I felt this video. It felt like you were talking to me directly.
Thanks for this video! I've had some pretty awkward moments in bed because sometimes I get stuck in my head which leads performance anxiety. I got really worried recently that it might be something permanent but this video gave me a lot of hope. Now I can finally accept the problem and ready to work on myself. Anyone dealing with similar issues?
Great video. I always come back to Todd for advice. Not a big fan of his style but he is a master in what he does. Thank u Todd!!!!
Boys I missed out on a opportunity to get a number today and I refuse to let it happen again!!! She was totally digging me😩never will I allow my excuses to win again.
Your most beautiful video so far, amazing. That intro and background scenery omg 😍
Ehy Todd.. U are my first mentor (youtube) 4 years ago.. Nice to see u still standing strong til now.. Goodluck in your career
This has to be the most important but the most Underdiscussed Topic in Inner Game.
Todd you're a fucking mindreader.. 🙌
This video just changed everything...I already knew this but sometimes we need a reminder!
watched a lot of your content, most in fact. i only clicked it b/c i'm running out of your other wisdom. this was almost mindblowing.
Positive thinking 101, fix what you can, in the meantime make the best out of what you have.
I hate so much that i lived at home for collage:( 7 years of collage, 3 internships, 6 years in the army national guard. But living at home destroyed any chance of having a romantic life
Dudee I think this is my biggest problem but at least im aware of it now. No self sabotaging anymore.
I'm listening to this while having a girlfriend and this message hits even stronger... thank u Todd
Exactly what I needed before Sunday
preached it like a pro. much respect man
These types of videos are what keep me coming back to this channel, because the pick up ones don't do much for me. I feel like I need to thank Todd personally at some point 😅
Todd I fucking love you bud, your gonna help me become the ultimate specimen, thank you for being here for us and being your own test subject to begin with and learning from scratch, you are the man.
Accept totally where i am and who i am. Accept it and go with it. Be ok with myself and crush it anyway.
Acceptance. Own it. Let Go.
This is such a great video Todd !
Amen for this helping somebody see their way all the way through
Professionalism takes a lot of reminders and reviews of all your learnings and fundamentals at your craft just before you set out to do your sort of work.
Hits home. Thanks, Todd
Self esteem's foundation is built on minimum viable self acceptance. Act on the current positivity in your life and gain momentum
Thanks for the video. Really feel it.
Often I'd not take a great girl home cause I was insecure about either not getting it up or coming too early.
Todd. Great composition and frame for this video. Your information is a lot easier to ingest with this format. I feel like in at a bootcamp and you're talking to the group.
What the heck do you mean by composition and frame?
The camera settings? The background? The content of the words?
@@gwho chill bro lol
@@gwho He's talking about Todd's masculine frame
Regarding Todds cinematography. His masculine frame is on point as per the usual.
Needed this I relate to this right now lost a girl because I subconsciously rejected her
“If you ever plan on having sex in your life... “ - I nearly dropped from the chair - that phrase was brilliant.
I used to follow this kind of material, but I realized I was headed in the wrong direction. I wanted my way and not the best way. You can call me crazy, this is completely countercultural, but hear me out this extremely important. And I know it's long, but it's very worth your time. And please open your mind just a minute.
Matthew 16:26
For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Hebrews 11:25
“Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;”
Seriously think about that. What's worth going to hell for?
2 Timothy 2:22
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
1 Corinthians 6:18 - Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Corinthians 7
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Thessalonians Chapter 4
3 For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;
5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:
1 Thess 5
21Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
22Abstain from all appearance of evil.
James 1:15 - Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: andSIN, when it is finished, bringeth forth DEATH.
Revelation 21
7He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
The pleasures of this world seem so great and there is nothing that God has to offer that would be better. Is fornication or anything of the sort worth it if you ultimately end up in the lake of fire?
Let me ask you, have you realized that you are not perfect? Many people think they are good person, but one sin is enough to bring eternal hell fire. How do you deal with that sin in your life? There's no way to heaven on your own. Here's what you can do.
Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
John 14
6Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
7If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.
Romans 6
23For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Acts 3:19 - Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;
1Corinthians 15:
1Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;
2By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
3For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;
4And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
Romans 10
9That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
11For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.
12For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
13For WHOSOEVER shall CALL upon the name of the Lord shall be SAVED.
2 Corinthians 13:5
“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?”
Philippians 2:12
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
Romans 6
1What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
2God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
Think about it. You can forget everything I wrote and call me a "fundamentalist" or get have a new life in Christ. Let me know.
Yeah. Todd is right. I've had insecurities about sex all my life. I was not born with huge di3k. It fact it's on the smaller side. One of the reasons why I approached girls was for them to like and then I got to like myself.
The funny thing is I would be categorized in the "hot" zone of guys. And all kinds of women would find me attractive super hot to average and everything in between. I did not lose my virginity till I was 25 and I had MULTIPLE opportunities before that. I was not comfortable with myself and at times still not.
Point is to the younger guys doing game/learning game, don't let any hang-ups stop you.. The crazy thing you have to plow through ALL insecurities. No one is going to do it for you.
These days, I'm getting back into the game. I'm in my 40's now.
Hopefully, this helps others.
Please make a video about how short men should deal with taller women and maybe include some examples or infield footage, trust me it would be very successful
How can you avoid accidentally approaching an underaged / special needs girl? What're some signs I can look for and what're some qualifiers I can ask / things I can do to know it's a situation I should dip out of? This is my biggest fear in Game; approaching / talking to a girl who isn't who I think they are. More importantly, they end up being somebody who could get me into a lot of trouble. Legally and socially. It's to the point where I will not approach a girl (Even those who give me choosing signals) because I fear she'll be underaged and then I'll build some under-ground rep / get arrested.
This is my biggest sticking point. Thanks!
This channel needs at least a million Subs. Super underrated content.
You did great in this video todd, love the message and coaching! Thank you
Good stuff Todd. Very inspiring and this helps a ton of folks, even the ones that believe they don't need to hear it.
todd you are doing such a good product with this new subtitle thing!! congrats!! i think now i can buy your product, now i can understand more!! now this makes sence!! ty!!
I'm going through this right now and my game is good
Can totally recognize myself up to this day.
This hits hard
This was one of the most real videos you've made, very well done
Man. Just tremendous advice. Thanks Todd.
Seriously awesome stuff Todd, thanks. 👌👍
Amazing video Todd! I love this deep conversation on accepting who you are and striving for success
This was exactly what I needed this morning 👊
This vid has so much great advice
One of your most excellent videos, Todd. Very well put and motivational. Thank you!
Easily one of this channels more important videos.
wow, this video really struck a chord with me...thanks for posting.
Thank you Todd
Good video Todd your videos of late have been stellar
that bit at the end,.... ooft, so positive!
This guy is truly amazing. Thank you for such an inspirational video!
Damn, had to hit us with the hard truth
Todd = God 😇😇😇
"And im the best f@ short guy in the world" So grateful i found this channel 🙏
Epic backdrop too