When No Contact DOES NOT Work | 3 Reasons No Contact Is A BAD IDEA!
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
- I give you 3 reasons and scenrios that no contact does not work. It's important to understand the reason why you imply no contact rule before you actually do it. A lot of people do it for the wrong reasons and end up hurting the relationship more then anything else. It's important to understand the reason why and why the breakup occured. I know when you experience loss with an ex girlfriend your emotions are hightened but it's important to make sure no contact works if you do it so thats why I created this video. If you are having troubles with your relationship I highly encourage you to download my How To Save Your Relationship Product. This is a manual that will help you have a new understanding of relationships.
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Apollonia Ponti
In this video I give you tips on WHEN no contact does not work! I believe no contact is very powerful and works in a lot of situations. In this video I talk about when it shouldn’t be done. :) Enjoy!
So you think if she found out about something from the past about me and another girl I just give her space and try no contact or I should keep trying to talk to her even if she don't want to?
What if she said she needs space? Do I never contact her? I'm worried about her state of mind... she studies away. I think the attraction is gone.
@apollonia ponti what is your opinion on the red pill?
What if you been busy with work .
But she continues not to understand that you do try to reach out to her in between break times? Then gives u the silent treatment.
That's pretty much my predicament. I'm being accused of messing up when I'm not even trying to mess up. So should I be the first to make contact or I should I give her the silent treatment too?
Today I START THE "NO CONTACT" and I really mean it cause she hadn't respond to my Text about "New Orleans Nightmare " spooky event right.. so Iwill initiate it after she gives me a call later on today (if that happens) I'm texting or calling for about 30 or so days.., earlier today I was giving her calls since 2am over 30+ calls, after she said "Ill call you back" the pervious day (friday)But; my calls were literally going straight to vmail (so I'm thinking "man,wtf" she got moi block"?) til about 7am when we spoked briefly (that conversation was very brief, I mean she hung up abruptly and rudely "I'm going back to sleep Ill you back later" *click* I'm like "wtf" I hadn't had my Word" but I wasn't really trippn) my other numbers weren't going straight to vmail the phone would just ring I'm still feeling like "WTF" but we spoke on that during that brief. She was like "My phone was on silent from work" and that she was tired from the commuting back and forth from work, 1hr going 1hr coming back. I can only imagine how tired she's gonna be this coming week w/ Monday not being a holiday this week. But anyway, what I really wanted to say is I truly appreciate the knowledge Miss Apollonia, I'll be booking a session for sure!
If you’re putting in so much effort and the other person isn’t then I agree with no contact, and If someone doesn’t reach out to you over a certain period, they’re not worth your time.
Word.
True. Everything seems to be a mind game because she can be playing hard to get by not trying to reach out to you.
Yup
Best advice for me so far.
If someone does reach out, they're still not worth your time. You choose who is worth your time.
Problem with no contact rule with person who was left is simply giving yourself false hope that your loved one will return. Odds are, he or she wil not .And you just prolong your misery of waiting and hoping where in reality it's time to cry, dust yourself up, stand up and move on.
Spent 9 years in relationship, we had a deal we will tak about month after break up, as you can imagine, we never did. She found new guy and i found new love and i guess both are way happier ( at least i know i am) than i ever was with her.
Don't end up being stuck in limbo of false hope and pinky-dream scenarios where your loved one will call you to tell you how wrong he was. Even if he or she is, their ego will probably stop them. People are too egoistic to admit mistake. Take a time to heal, learn how to love yourself more, improve and work on yourself and move on. Wish you luck.
Bro I agree fully, I understanding your story, ego ego ego
The false hope part of no contact is the worst your right bro
Very true my friend false hope is the worst
I am dying to know how you are doing now and how is your ex doing, 9 years is like a marriage
Lost her but found myself . Guys , the first day or two after a break up is hardest. Try working out and eating , Cleaning and resting . And of course Miss Ponti's videos
Continue on your personal development!
Finding yourself is the thing man it's so so goood
Ponti is a very average coach, its all basic stuff you find from all coaches. "abundance mindset" always makes me cringe. Western women are spoiled and thats why men need these videos to translate retarded spoiled female behavior. Men are treated bad and disposable by society and women so OFC men are going to be insecure. I would never fight to protect a modern woman or save her from life problems because they are nothing like previous generations of women. No expectation of honestly or decency. Just had a woman give me her number and then say "busy for two weeks" after a bit of flirting. OOO no I must have flirted the wrong way, I must be a dumb man. I think lying and treating women like trash is the best strategy, you feel good they feel disposable, for once.
@@Holypikemanz partially true,treat her as she deserves,if she sucks,move on,no need to keep her,simply put more value on yourself then you do on her
Ms. Ponti = 👍👍👍
She gone. I'm moving on seeking me. I am not looking for a lady friend. I'm seeking enhancement and employment now.
Good evening ms,how do you empower a woman as a man
Great indeed
Good Job
I'm sorry to hear that, I went thru the experience, and it's really disheartening and frustrating. A woman who leaves you and doesn't really respect you or appreciate your good qualities is an ingrate and cold hearted. A woman who won't take the time to get to know you either is not worth YOUR time. Best of luck to you, brudah. I'm about done with women myself, no matter how hard or how many ways you try to convince them that you love them, it's useless. They will never listen to you or your heart. It's the sad truth.
How did it turn out
People need to forget the games or "process" of relationships. Nothing beats honesty. If a woman is toxic dump her as fast as possible. If you are the jerk, either change or let her go.
I agree with you 100% 👏👏👏👏👏! Thank you sir!! I am glad you are strong!
Thank You! That has worked in the past and it still works now. Try playing games, I'm out!
TeeJae84 depends on how you define game. If games means intentionally manipulating I’m out. There are some core values of civilized humans which don’t depend on the gender. Honesty and integrity. Being honest doesn’t mean to cry and beg cause that would disregard integrity and self-respect. But nothing wrong in letting her know that you feel heartbroken or miss her without a hidden agenda of making her feel sorry for you or guilt trip. It’s actually a sign of courage and internal strength that despite your pain you can hold your frame. On the long term old fashioned values like honesty , integrity and patience will pay out. If it doesn’t with that specific woman she definitely wasn’t the one you want to be involved with for more than sex or an affair.
that's not how attraction works 🤦🏻♂️😂 although honesty is very important
I'm going to change. There's no fucking way I'm letting her go
Everybody is different. Plain & simple, if you really meant something to them then they'll come back at some point. Just no telling when. And it probably won't be in the time frame you want them to.
Facts
All facts
Seen this a couple of times myself,
When I reluctantly broke up with my ex, I didn't do it for ego or to mess with them. I just went no contact and worked towards moving on and that's even with the ex meaning something to me. I choose to never go back. Its been eleven years and I am married to my new husband Frank. I'm glad for being strong to walk away.
But maybe by that time we won’t want them anymore. After she been through everyone? Dated multiple guys? I’ll be good she can reach out but will be a waist of time for her.
Once they go, let them go, if they come back put them in any other category, but not the "She's a keeper," one!!!
This makes you wanna stay single. All of these tactics we have to be aware of just to date someone
I feel you so fucking exhausting. I’m just going to focus on me now.
You know that’s so true, I’ve been searching a long time for a mutually passionate women and it’s hard as hell to find. I’ll go to my grave single if I can’t find the perfect match.
I share a feeling with you... as if she's the road to paradise!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Lol I agree. No one said relationships were easy. If you put in the work, you will reap the rewards.
I'm sorry but women should put in some effort period.
Josh Herrington lmao
lol
They feel their pussy is a prize to earn and work for
@@themadrapper101 ok incel
Any woman with self worth and knows what she wants, will, if you're worth it.
Go no silent then come back with a bag full of money/success. This is the biggest combination for attraction. Trust me it works 110% of the time.
Ya you are right
Success with the same attitude you left with will still be a failure
When a woman is independent and you give her long periods of no contact, it can show that you are your own man and make her want you more. It lets her have her identity yet confirms that you also own yours. This can actually strengthen the relationship and make time together more focus and intense!
I needed this advice, thank you.
No contact has never worked
@@robd1859 Well, it has. It just hasn't worked for you cuz you prolly fuck it up
Oh, this isn't about mental and emotional abuse. This is that glamorous thing called 'on a break' like in Friends. I still need to get to that stage of finding a significant other, before I decide to not be with them for a while...
I know one exactly like that where I work I gave her my number 2 days ago, she's not bothered to get back to me in that time, not even a quick hi in 36hrs. I understand people have commitments which is fine so I'll leave it a bit longer and unless she makes the effort to say hi in person then I will just ignore her also. Two can play at that game. I'm more than happy to let her have all the space she wants, there are so many attractive girls where I work. I've put a few weeks of effort in but more than prepared to walk away if she can't even find 30 secs to send a txt in 36hrs.
A lot of things have been manifesting during this period of no contact. I’m learning how to do basic labor around the household. I got a new, better paying job. And I’m working on getting back into school.
I’ve also deleted all of my social media apps because I made a habit of checking in on (stalking) her different accounts; I realized that it was kinda clouding my mind and bringing out unnecessary anxiety for me. But things are looking up for me now. I really do pray that she reaches out.
Preferably sooner than later, but it’s all in God’s timing I guess lol
Social media is a waste of time it’s a big distraction
Im with you here brotha
did she reach out dude?
Did you all get back together?
Any update bro? I did the same thing finished my ged going to college got a better job deleted all social media
Cheated on me for 6 months emotionally and physically, after we lived together for 4 years I put her through school supported her low self-esteem esteem, she had no social skills and damn near no life skills. In short I was an idiot, SEE the signs gentlemen and protect yourself.
Next time dont give too much
Wow Travis that's painful, your story makes me appreciate being single
Matthew 11:28
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Yeah, I'm learning right now, how to not give to much
You left her a better person that she was before...so no need to be bitter..
Get a dog: they're always loyal.
And they teach you how to handle women ;D
I've listened to a lot of dating gurus like this and just love these sort of comments, respect for this dating guru.
🐾
@@mkschreder Those are cats for us men !!! BIG differene, dogs teach women how to handle men !
She took the dog with her :(
She lost her feelings for me.... so I lost her number
That's right! And you better keep it that way!
Damn if that doesn't sound like my experience.
So you would rather have someone lie to themselves and you just to stay in a relationship.... makes sense
Amen
That’s a good one and right about the lossing feelings part
No contact phase is an inc berg. What you see in youtube is just 20% to 30%
Its really something very very deep.
But as mam said, keep working on yourself. And if you were disrespected please walk out, there is no growth in it.
Respect is very important!
That's a good way to expend "no contact" time, caring of yourself. I like to think it's a way to put my feelings back together and see the things with a "cold down heart" and giving myself some space.
Its about finding someone who's into you just as much as your into them. Don't look back when the other person comes around later, avoid them for your own sake. No one needs an emotional roller coaster its bad for one's self esteem.
You deserve a happy and healthy relationship!
I think so too
My ex and i broke up due to me being distant due to mental health issues i was unaware of. I got myself right, but she had started dating someone after a month or so. We tried to be friends but it didn't go so well partly due to my feelings and hers causing issues...we still have strong feelings for each other. After an argument recently, where she was basically picking at every thing I did, we blew up at each and she suggested no contact. Her reason was that we kept repeating the same cycle, falling back as friends, things would be great and then wed argue. Its been a week should i contact her? Thank you
avoiding is better than no contact...
you will find a better person...
"When Avoiding DOES NOT Work | 1 Reason Avoiding Is A BAD IDEA!"
1. Friends and Family cannot find you and you end up the subject of an AMBER ALERT...
:)
Avoiding means ignoring your feelings tho
No contact doesn't work because everyone knows that is what they are doing, and once you know, it causes any attraction left you may have had to fly out the window. No one likes to be manipulated.
Thiiiiissss
And that's why more guys are just not bothering with women. No time for little kids.
Great video. I like the fact you are honest that some women have already lost feelings for you even if they are in the relationship or near break-up stage. I think too many guys don't pick up on the lack of interest before the break-up
mav1877 the moment they lose interest there’s nothing you can do
Too many women are not honest with their feelings I find that even more saddening
The only way it’s successful is when you do the work to move on. It’s not what anyone wants to hear but when it’s all said and done they either come back or they don’t. Either way you will be okay because you put the work into yourself.
My girlfriend of 5 years "fell out of love" with me. And I have been so lost. She said 6 months ago her feelings started to fade. But made no effort to communicate this with me and for us to work on things . I've never felt more betrayed and just hurt ...I'm hurt.
I never knew I could hurt this much and...she just seems so cold and doesn't care. 5 years. My youth gone.
It me
Update?
Same shit. BU for a month now
I let my ex go coz she was emotionally immature. Damn near 40 years old stonewalling and throwing temper tantrums like a child. 😳
Agree. Many of us men have already had past experiences with women's tantrums .... "tantrumic" women.
I'm trying to look into myself to objectively determine what happened, to me, it's because my neediness and nice guy syndrome, I thank her for dumpping me, she gave the courage to finally kill old me and start living.
@@drunkenfr nice. I did the same thing a few years ago. Life changing.
Thank you so much, I took the time to breath, regroup my thoughts and I had to remember that before her I was doing things and I was happy. I also saw that she was going out and that made me feel good because she truly deserves it. We started talking, but I really want to take my time with it 🥰
It must be so convinient to be a woman! It's never their fault when a relationship ends, If she's cheating it's your fault for whatever reason. If she breaks up it's because you either gave her too much power or too little power. It's not worth it anymore.
I felt this on many levels
Fax
Welcome to the real world
That's why we are the men, we take responsibility for anything that happens to us.
That’s why I finally understand the old saying old guys would say
Women can’t live with them can’t live without them I didn’t understand that til 32
14 years with her, engaged for 4 years, she ended it... stumbled on a journal of her enjoying sleeping with a random guy within 45 days of officially ending it. this destroyed me.
on top of all this her family was trying to set her up with some guy at the gym they own.
People you know and loved and saw as allies can turn so quickly.
Life can be cruel, ive been in no contact for 2 months and she has never once reached out to see how i was doing. it blows my mind how things changed so quickly, the trajectory of our planned lives changed within a few rocky months.
this video has helped me realize, its truly over... no hope. my best friend of 14 years, gone! absolutely fucking insane to think about the chain of events.
Damn bro that’s horrible. It’s scary how fast life can change! Hope you’re good
Im really sorry, mate. I hope you can recover from that.
Damn that really blows. From what you're saying it sounds like she already moved on a long time ago. I hope you feel better.
Another 1000 ways to lost time !!! 14 years is a lot
Ayo you Good Man?? How’s life doing
This is gonna be a hard pill to swallow but if she went out of that relationship hurt she’s getting a rebound. Not necessarily by choice but because she’ll be extremely vulnerable and just about any attractive man that comes her way that will listen to her grief will spark an interest in her. It’ll pass guys. I went through it, she didn’t love him just used him to get over me. It still hurt because it was barely a month or two after the breakup. But the rebound guy will be there. And as far as no contact. Don’t do the 30 days. You’ll both be doing it for different outcomes. Her, to move on from you and you, to get her back. You’ll essentially be helping her move on. I did 2 weeks MAX. Don’t let her forget you. Give her her space but not so much that you’ll be shooting yourselves in the foot.
No contact rule works when you been pursuing. So she will end up thinking about the guy who been hitting her line. And woman fear of losing someone whos always been good to them when dating. This now will lead to reciprocation. Women will now pursue. At this stage a man MUST play the card right otherwise it will just start all over again.
💯💯💯
Well said👏💯
600 days no contact - she still didn't call. Am I doing it right?
Oof
Mikhail Vasilevsky Get a new girl. Be happy. If she comes back U may not want her
1000 days into no contact she still hasn't contacted me what am I doing wrong
LOL!
Nope... just keep stroking your ego, bud. Who can go the longest. *sarcasm* 🙄
Right as rain
Through no contact my ex went back to her ex but still hangs with my family ... I set boundaries and went into no contact with everyone ... it was very painful and it has been 4 months since I’ve heard from her ... I haven’t dated anyone since ... I’ve learned to love myself and also learned how to help others get over past wounds during my singleness ... Your videos have been a great help to me ... Thank you.
The gym has been my best friend while in NC ! I refuse to break NC
Any update. I'm in the gym too my man
Nice work keep it up ..when I lost a woman I didn’t no where to turn so instead of hitting the bottle like when I was 19 .. I just started building stuff with tools 🧰 ⚒️
It's always good to listen from a woman's perspective, because you girls require a manual to be understood. You are complex (and sometimes overly complicated beings) Thanks for the video, Apo.
That's like saying you speak to a fish to know how to be a fisherman. You don't do that.
Did it work
Keep it positive & upbeat ✅
You have to show different behaviors ✅
and actually do the work ✅
The problem with no contact is if you recognise that your relatively new significant other (SO) is judgemental & convinced she's right and that you are wrong. If she's willing and able to communicate about what bugs her about you, you may have a chance to at least open the discussion to her taking a broader, less rigid approach to what you have to say but if the Dunning Kruger effect is strong in her, she'll be sure that she's an expert in relationships, despite her not even being aware of how much she doesn't know about you or perhaps about relationships overall. If your S.O. refuses to talk about an issue and demands space, my experience is that her demand has often been expressed because she intended not to let calm re-enter the picture but to punish you for disagreeing or not changing fast enough. In other words, she sees no need to contemplate what has happened because it's all your problem. That attitude combined with her refusing to engage in adult discourse is a situation I've struck too often and it infuriates me, because there may be many positive things about the relationship that are blocked from proceeding due to her unwillingness or refusal to even consider that she may be wrong. If that manifests as refusal to discuss an issue, rapid dismissal of your opinion or distancing, the chances of a successful relationship is unlikely and no contact is likely to simply entrench in the S.O.'s mind that she is right and that she doesn't need to be with anyone who disagrees fundamentally with her point of view. I welcome challenge when supported by some rational discussion & evidence rather than opinion alone, especially if I know that evidence runs entirely contrary to her views. In situations like these I have persisted, looking for flexibility, agreeing to disagree and welcoming diverse ways of thinking and checking myself to avoid lecturing, pontificating or being a smart-ass. All too often these days, I strike amazing stubbornness, blinkered thinking and a "my way or the highway" attitude. I've even been instructed not to talk about the topic again, an attitude that if complied with, leads to an ever growing list of "off limits topics". For me, the list can become so long that I've literally been left with nothing I wish to converse about!!!
🤣 dude you're like me man. You explained it in detail, as I would. We think so deeply and explain thoroughly on these things, and when there's some problem, they can't take this approach and it annoys them.
I totally agree with you on your no contact outlook.. my solution to this, with this girl I'm dealing with now - I'm writing a letter 🤣 . I finish leveling up, which she will see since she watches me on social media - I'll personally deliver her the letter.. Which I know she will read. The letter breaks down my failures.. but also the only version of her I'd accept - even though SHE initiated no contact... And in the end, the letter will instruct her this is the last contact I'm making, as I then delete her from social media. 🤔
I think you have a great explanation. I’m in a so called no contact situation because I am done with the relationship!! . Because the sooner I move on the quicker I’ll heal. She lead me into a relationship that has absolutely no future! I’m 10 days in and still feeling the loss. It’s almost as intense as a loved one dying. But I’m taking my energy to the gym for self improvement. I’m 59 yrs old and it hurts as much as it did when I was 19. I will be fine, it just takes time.
How are you ? ...a year later ...
No contact = no genuine interest / you're not important enough. So don't waste your emotion & move on cos he/she has. 👣
Actually, that's no what no contact necessarily means. Sometimes no contact is used to show someone who took advantage of you that your life has meaning...you're independent and you can move on without them if needed. This isn't an absolute one meaning fits all here. I know a couple that's been married for 25 years strong...and it was a no contact by one of them when they were dating that saved their relationship. It works if one person realizes they took the other for granted and is willing to change . It doesn't work if there was no reason for no contact to begin with.
No contact is hard, but you’re video’s make it easier. Thank you
Thanks for breaking this down Apollonia. Many dating coaches make it seem as if No Contact is the answer to all problems but as with anything there are times when certain “rules” don’t apply....particularly when dealing with a woman’s emotions. If she felt neglected in the first place, walking away from her won’t make the situation any better, especially if she knows her worth. Aside from any rule, I’ve learned that the best technique is learning to read your woman’s moods and emotions. Kind of difficult for men but super valuable in the long term!
Michael A. What would suggest if neglected a women?
@@justamannothingmore1999Michael doesn’t know!!
I was doing LDR (seeing each other once every two months) and I felt like the sparks are just fading away these three months. She has depression so our interaction has basically been me cheering her up and that's it. Due to the pandemic, my trip to visit her got canceled several times and she broke up with me, saying that she has been losing hope for this relationship for months and now we can't even meet up. Since I have also been exhausted by her being cold and distant as well so I accepted it. However, she keeps texting me random stuff, making me think that the breakup wasn't real because she did fake breakups a lot, but she would just constantly remind of that this time is real, we are no longer together. I feel disrespected and embarrassed so I went full NC.
Proud of you. Good job.
The literal love of my life dumped me 45 days ago for zero reason so I'll assume another guy. I broke no contact and sent an email and letter. She responded in a cold email saying she believes it's best we part ways and she valued our relationship because she learned so much. Wish I never sent it.
Are you good man
Fuckkkk, you should not have sent that shit
@@bettersounds1926 what was in your email and letter?
Don't be hard on yourself. We all did something like that once, before we knew better. With knowledge, comes power.
Very true thanks for the knowledge Apollonia I have tried no contact like a final bet then found out she had lost feelings for me way long before the break up then started calling me out of curiosity I guess!...Moved on anyway focusing on becoming the best version of a man the world needs and like you say I realised she's not the woman for me forever.Keep up the good work ponti.
Thank you for your comment and support!
I am learning so much about relationships from your videos. I recently broke up with a woman and everything you say in your videos, practically word for word is what has seemed to have happened with me. I am taking notes for the next relationship. But first I am going to work on me. Keep up the good work, Apollonia.
I could literally write a book on this subject; not because I'm a pro at relationship advice, I'm not implying that at all.
But i went through so much with a narcissist and realized a lot of my own shortcomings after i ended that relationship that i agree with everything Apollonia said.
It's so hard when you're in it, but so clear and easy when you look back
I am going through this right now bin with my baby mother over 8 years on she just moves on like that on it seems like she Falling in Love with this person she only knows 9 months
Zero attention. Don’t chase, don’t beg. Be kind. Detach yourself. Level up. Next thing, she’s gonna test you. Next thing she’s gonna try to walk through your apartment thinking she still has control on you.. Game over. I don’t play women’s mind games. No loyalty
The current climate is that it must somehow be the "man's" fault. Both genders are fully responsible. We both make mistakes. Work on being your best self is the only answer. We need to appreciate our beautiful differences and nurture them.
Respect
Moving on quickly IS the closure as you mentioned. Too often guys (myself especially) see this as "oh she's trying to make me work harder" or "she's trying to make me jealous". NO. She chose someone else. Move on my guy.
I'm trying it an I'm going on day three, so I don't know, but I'm trusting everything into God, what you're teaching and coaching, and my guts. Thank you Apollonia
No contact doesn't work. It has never worked when an ex used it on me and it has never worked when I tried to use it on a girl. When people say the NC is for yourself, to process the breakup they're mistaken too imho because time heals (almost) all wounds so this has nothing to do with the No contact.. just my thoughts on the matter. There are no magic tricks to get someone back. If they lose attraction it is what it is. The only good thing about NC is it prevents you from making a fool of yourself by begging and crying. I remember I broke up with this girl and she went silent.. never heard from her again. I respected that, but it didn't raise any attraction. I broke up with her for a reason. It's the same with girls who broke up with me. They're glad it's over and they're probably glad I took it well without blowing up their phone or godforbid.. stalking them because some dudes do shit like that. Still.. Apollonia. You're a rockstar baby. Love your videos! Keep it up
She doesn't want you, she has other men, you go back into contact, she got used to you not being around when other guys are getting some.
I usually go no contact right after a breakup, sometimes I have to actually verbalize it if it’s not implied within context at the time of parting ways.
Man I got feelings for a girl too damn quick. Now I am having a hard time not to talk to her. Yet she still manages to reach out to me and respond. How ever this is true I have back up a little and just analyze myself.
I just think it’s all games. It should never be that hard.
A game of constant leverage...
And that's why both sides are walking away.
Why should it all be all about showing her i''ve changed.i'm doing it for myself to become a better person and move forward in my life
Im astounded by the negative comments on these videos. Great advice!
Awesome video. This is always what male coaches miss with coaching men.
It’s not about getting the upper hand. Once they get it they are clueless what to do with it.
Distance, abuse of power and control will not get your woman back.
Men who behave this way are wishing to change the dynamic of the relationship. What they’re saying is is this is the only way I’d consider being with you again. If I can be completely irresponsible and casual with my behavior. Low expectations.
My opinion of no contact is that it should be used when you're completely walking away and done and not an attempt to win anyone back. Go on with your life and embrace new paths, challenges but don't do it to hold onto the past or bring it back.
What happens if your sin was you didn't make enough time for them, but during the breakup you start showing genuine changes/effort for a few months. Then she tells you she's noticed the changes, but it sort've angers her because she wanted it before?
Thank you Apollonia, I've learnt so much from watching your youtube videos. My relationship with my girlfriend is so sweet ,loving and caring. Today, or, should I say yesterday was the best day of all with my girl. I was round at her place, wow. I couldn't believe it. It was so special, not in that way, but in the way we spent good quality time together. She said I love you too. I've waited so long to hear those words from her. Thanks for all the advice Apollonia, you're the best! Take care always. x
You so Right!!👍🤣👍I am 3 weeks in no contact.I feel so free in my life now!!! I don' t care if my xLover.Doesn' t reach out to me anymore.I don't care that she wants to be with another guy!! He probably better than me.👍GOOD!!! I SO HAPPY!!! Because I'M FREE!!!! My eye' s have open ed up!!!👍👍👍👍🤣🤣its great listening to you!!!!
Thank you Apollonia for this video because I was dating this girl and I had a feeling she took advantage of me and now I have to change my behavior and detach myself and show her I’m not the same no more
Don't show her that way because she still not going to take you serious. The best thing to do is let her go! The next woman you date, don't do too much for her at the beginning. For example, if you are dating a new woman and you decided to take her out for dinner, let her pay for her own and you pay for yours. Stop doing everything for a woman because that will make her become a gold digger and she will get mad and leave when you stop doing things for her. Take it slow and don't always say yes for everything she asked you to do. When a man do everything for a woman, that will give her a reason to cheat on you with a guy who doesn't have anything going on for himself. Then, she will take everything that you give her and give it to him because she will think that you are a good fool. That is why a woman sometimes choose to have a good man and a bad one on the side which is her ex or someone she met on mad days and he won't leave her alone. Be careful next time man.
It's over.
It really does not matter what you do. She is not coming back. This lady can give a million explanations. If this worked, the divorce rate would drop dramatically. She is not coming back.
The great Patrice O’Neal once said, fish can’t tell a fisherman how to catch other fish. Bless you.
When she breaks up with you is when she lost feelings for you. If she had feelings she won’t break up. It’s nonsense people break up with you it’s because they lost feelings.
Or never had them in the first place
Not true. Sometimes it's pure frustration and not knowing what else to do. You love the person but your needs are not getting met and you've tried asking and they're still not being met. So out of self-respect you have no choice but to walk away.
Apollonia Ponti, YOU are cool...
You are becoming my favorite here on You Tube...
Simple, no contact rule all the way. If she doesn’t contact you, no biggie, just move on.
I sent her an Amazon gift and after we broke, she was shopping and I was literally dying.
I love this topic it's very open & honest I never though about counting the days I just thought about getting on my purpose but I walked away from my son's mother after 5yrs but I don't know why but I did & I feel much better about it thank you ms. Apollonia great video as always 🌹
Thank you for your support!
My ex accused me of not listening.......something about not hearing her problems and stories, I dont know, I wasn't really paying attention :)
🤣😂😆
I asked my ex gf for 9 years if she still loves me and her answer is 80% no and 20% yes. So I finally let go of her.
I have a different view on certain things you said, but most was on point.If it's a struggle for control in the relationship,then it's probably not a eelationship I want to be in.Human nature is to constantly keep a person a.person interested, but I think the true challenge is to keep yourself interested..Good video👍🏾
Thank you for your support!
It's all sooo relative. Thanx Apollonia. We had to trust our feelings and act accordingly. With power but also love and respect. Less manipulation, more from the heart. Pray also, this helps ! Greetings.
You are my favorite relationship coach. Thanks for everything
My ex gf wants to do cuddle and hug on me(basically want me to boyfriend things) so she got mad and said she wants more space. We made progress and fell back what should I do??
I prefer not to look in my rear view mirror. If she’s not around, I wish the best and keep moving forward!
Please, I genuinely need your advice on this:
Last Friday fiance ended our 3 year relationship and 1 year engagement.
She ended things because she was distant and thought we physically weren't a match.
She couldn't even stand a kiss, hug, anything. Let alone sex was around 9 weeks ago when we did it last time.
She admitted she is asexual and initially did it to please me, but got tired of it.
We broke up the first time several years ago after about 4 months.
She ended it too because it was too much (Mom was manically depressed, sisters have borderline, she then wanted to live alone but it was overwhelming and cancelled those plans.)
And right now it was the same: We got engaged a year ago, I got a fixed contract with a company in October 2019, then we started looking for an appartment which got rented end of November 2019.
Then things started going downhill once more: Her mom and younger sister had issues again, many things were going wrong with the appartment because it was in a not so great state, she became increasingly distant, etc.
Ever since August to me it felt like a one way street where I did everything. And this was mentally very taxing.
I still have feelings for her because of what we shared over those 3 years.
I don't know if I could take her back because deep down I know her issues with lack of intimacy, zero desire for physical contact and so on will never be fixed.
She admitted that she still cares about me, but not in the way she used to OR the way she wants me to (as in physical contact, showing appreciation, etc.)
I don't know what to do and I am conflicted/feeling lost.
I know I'm asking a lot, but your (or someone's) insight on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
How did you end up my man? It sounds like she lost attraction, hope you're in a better spot right now!
This was a great video. I agree with everything you say here.
Youre the first person to talk about my fear of initiating no contact. I was broken up with after six years because I got complacent and started neglecting her. I'm realizing I haven't been mindful and have past wounds I wasn't aware of. NC seems like a continuation of what I was broken up with for. But I also think if I contact her or try to be more present, it'll push her away because she was firm in her decision, which I don't blame her for after some serious self reflection. Do I just continue NC and work on myself? Ive accepted my situation, take responsibility for my actions and have no animosity towards her, but I'd be lying if I tell myself I don't want reconciliation... help!
Move on now there is no turning back
i’m in the same boat rn , i cared a bit to late and i made a few mistakes but so has he
Update? Just send her a simple apology and no looking back
No contact always "works" for me. I tell them to get lost and I breathe a great sigh of relief.
Hi! I did it the same.
Is there anything happens after that?
@tony carpenter
Seem like a very negative person
You are absolutely right. Behaviour has to be changed honestly. In my view no contact more than 15-20 days is Bull S**t idea.
Just remember kids, this channel is all about baiting you for signing up for a session....
If a women is over you, has lost interest in you, doesn't need you in her life, then it is exactly that!
You may get her back once, or twice, but in the end, you will be the same person and she will leave again.
Stop kidding yourselves.... Have a break and find a new girl when you feel ready.
One of the hardest pills to swallow, I had to come to that realization after this girl hurt me. It sucks but damn you're speaking the truth !
How true
Some people only need the confidence of a forklift ticket 🎫 to say, I can drive a forklift.
Others just get on and drive the forklift
People who aren’t like us need a course lol 😂 just got the backbone so they believe in something , anything
I dont think so !
.
If you Work on yourself , U can Change possitions ! ..
hmm...yes and no to this. I know of couples who broke up early on because one person lost interest and ended up back together married with kids years later. It really depends on the individuals. No two relationships are ever the same.
I'm more than a year into no contact with my last serious ex. She left me three days before my birthday and then had the nerve to text me on my birthday. I didn't answer. So many good things have happened to me since then too. I took a trip to Hawaii, I participated in my first jiu jitsu competition, I stepped up my mixed martial arts training, I got my associates degree, and got accepted to university and I'm so close to getting my bachelor's degree. If she were to contact me, she'll get no response or I'll tell her as little as possible. Like Apollonia said in the video, the curiosity is only for her and her contacting me does nothing for me.
Thank you Apollonia 🤩.
Great tips 🤗
I think you can really read my mind.
This topic was on my head for so many days😁
Since I've implementing your techniques the woman i have been dating off and on for months, said to me what happen to you; You are not the same man i first met and i like it. She asked me to be her man and now she called three time a day. Before i started using your strategy she called once a week if lucky, man how thing have changed! Thank you Apollonia
She's afraid of losing what she can get out of you. She don't want you to change because once she see you changing or backing away, she will feel that she won't get that attention from you anymore.
HI , I have been watching some of your videos. I came too Realize its sad that couples have to play games in order too stay together... i feel like that point where I really don't want anyone other than friends with benefits, but then I truly love this women for 7 years now never got married but we live together . It's a Rollercoaster.
My marriage of 21 years ended suddenly, it seemed. We were always close, and it was as though our love was constantly growing. One day she got an online virtual reality game and pushed everybody away .. her parents, our kids, and myself. She moved to the basement for 6 months and played her game all day and night every day. She eventually left. She filed for divorce, and we are over now. I have gone through major healing over the last two years, but I have no clue what really happened. It seemed to change over night.
What if she has children and you’ve grown to be so attached to them?
You by far are the most in tune person when it comes to men and women. Great videos!
The last time we were together she told me "I love you so much it hurts." Than the next day started an argument out of nowhere and turned into a ghost. Is going No Contact going to help?
Hahhhhh.....That's what I lately encountered. Let's find out......Day 3........😁
In same boat mate, she adored me, had a fight over something small we got heated said stuff, boom block and never contact me again been 4 days now, getting better and realising she's not worth it
It hurts, she told me her heart was numb and she was done. I cried and begged her not to do this. But I had yo move on. While I was in the process of moving out of her house and got an apartment, she asked me to stay but as friends. I couldn’t believe it, I said I couldn’t do that and thence she turned it around on me and stated that she thinks friendship is more important to her and for me to leave tells her how I left about her and I was abandoning her. Mind you she broke up with me and I’ve told her we could work on this and I never wanted this break up. She wanted me to break my lease and stay at her house as friends, seriously? I told her I couldn’t do that but maybe we can try to work it out. She said no, I moved out of her house and since then she got religious on me and stated God told her that I wasn’t the man for her. I was sadden but accepted it. But she has then contact me off and on. Sending videos and bible scriptures and tells me she loves me. I’ve told her let’s meet up and talk and she says no. Not sure what she’s trying to do, but she wanted this break up.
My ex wife dumped me 2 years and 6 months ago. She said I was not spending any time with her and it was true. I went no contact for 30 days and when texted her she still didn't want to speak, text or see me. I kept breaking no-contact about every 30 days. She also denied being with anybody or talking to anybody. Three weeks ago I broke into her instagram account and found out she was with a guy since day one of the break up. Private DMs dates 3 days after she dumped me she was telling the guy, "I love you baby." For all these years I thought there was no other guy and I always thought there could be a chance. To be in a double shock, I found out the guy is gay and she knows it. I can't make sense of anything but to accept women are crazy...
carlos cabrera at least you have closure now..
Nigga you the issue
I have been in No Contact for over 4 months. She blocked me since the break up, never heard anything about her, she even asked all her friends to unfriend me from social media. It is obvious no contact does not work on my ex. We have been in a relationship for over 6 years though.
What’s the update on this? I’m in a similar spot. 4 years. Ex dumped me. She blocked me everywhere. Everyone deleted me. She initiated NC and it’s been 4 months.
Thanks Ponti for the amazing videos and keep up the good work. I would like to request, is it possible to do a video on maintaining a long distance relationship?
Together 15 years married. Wants separation. Oh yeah, and I did all the 5 things I shouldn't have done after the talk of separation.
Thank Ponti for this great video, i needed to watch it like yestarday
I’m in day 5 of no contact! My gf dumped me 3 weeks ago :( because of the 1st reason, she felt distant, I wasn’t there emotionally.
This girl used to be obsessed with me & said she still has feelings for me & would still get jealous over me .
I texted her 4 days after she broke up with me & said i missed her & wanted her back & she didn’t want to hear it & she said she doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now:(
What should I do ?!?! Me and her work together at the same store but in different departments, she’s a cashier. I was going to do no contact for like 17 days and then talk to her at work , short flirty chat . Is this the right move ??? What do I do to win her back ?? Please help !! Thank you so much for your time & Response!!
I am getting the distinct impression that we are doing "no contact" to each other. There is way to much to explain here!
Patriot Astronomer67 Instead of guessing games, why don’t you just reach out? You’re already in no contact you have nothing to lose ...
I think my ex gf is doing this also...She left me. Short lived relationship...about 3 months long...she last messaged me...I'm hoping that after awhile has passed and I can fully emotionally get over her and have worked on myself that she may reach out and want to possibly work on things...I've written messages I plan to eventually give her, but they were for my own healing and reflection really...She once mentioned that writing things is a better way for her to deal with things. I wanna showcase that I listened and changed. She spoke with past lovers and kept in contact with a few of them while we were dating...This made me jealous, so we spoke about it a few times before the breakup. She broke up with me via text and said the jealousy was too much...The jealousy she helped foster inside me...our relationship seemed wonderful! Sex all the time, gift exchanging, laughing, making plans...Coronavirus hasn't helped...And she recently started a new job around the time of the break-up (was about 2 weeks into it then)...Is she a narcissist? Was I in the wrong? I never yelled at her. Will no contact have any effect on her? She was a tad distant about a week and half before the breakup...Possibly considered it then...About when I started speaking with her about the men she was texting.
@@agent00chimp be a gangster and move on.. she was just using you.. sex , exchanging gifts, etc is not everything .. the thing that she's doesn't give up so easily even after you trying so much matters
Apollonia that was a great video. Thank you. You hit it right in the head. If the girl doesn't seek you out or contact you or even curious about you, that basically tells you everything.
I dont know why he blocked me we had a perfect 7 months relationship now we didn’t fight am not sure what happened its 5 months no contact now and i don’t know whats the next step
5 months? move tf on
5 months? He is going to be father of some woman's kids.
You're helping me so much with what I'm going through. I get the impression I may have been needy and after this really Passionate relationship is tough getting ignored.
Did it work?